#im not qualified to say whether its real or not bc i dont know him in any real way nor do i want to lmao

[kummatty]

back home . this weekend was driving 12 hrs to redacted, getting ready in a rush in full langa voni (half sari) jewelry bangles etc in the hotel (probably took us 2 hrs bc hello), attending my cousins engagement party from 6-11, getting back changing repacking going to bed at 1am, waking up at 7 getting ready and driving 12 hrs back

[trickstarbrave]

some of yall...... get rly weird w kids dating. obv their are lines that can be crossed, upperclassman should stay away from fucking freshman, if ur 17 theres no reason ur partner should be 14/15 (I saw fuckign 18 year old seniors datin 14 year old freshman and EVERYONE thought it was fuckin nasty and i wish someone stopped his ass), and you shouldnt have sex as a minor and no older partner should ever tell you to do so. 

but being in college does not automatically make u more mature. some college kids still live w their parents (i knew a BUNCH of community college kids who did), some college kids are still dependent on their parents, not even half of college kids can drive and have a car, sure a lot of them focus on buying their own groceries and have to get their own asses up to class but i can tell you certainly college freshmen are fucking disasters and really are just high school kids but nervous as all hell and dont figure out what the fuck theyre doing until half way thru sophomore year at the earliest. 

if someone is in late high school and the other has just started college they arent necessarily worlds apart in terms of maturity to just date. no i dont think anyone in college should go to a high school, thats weird (unless u like work there. i kno teachers aids and cafeteria workers who have worked at high schools while going to college) but like.... if someone is 18 and in hs and another is 18 and in college......... it isnt a predatory relationship by virtue of college. i 100% can assure you underclassman in college are still fucking children. you can spot em a mile a way. i have more in common with my classmates who have children than i do 18 year olds. i had more in common with high schoolers when i was an underclassman. i dated my partner when he was a couple of years older than me (we didnt have a sexual relationship until i was in college) and he skipped a grade, still lived w his parents, was dependent on them for years, and still doesn’t know how to drive. if you’re measure our maturity in “can buy groceries alone, can drive a car, and lives alone” i was more ‘mature’ than him despite being younger.

but my point here is what makes a relationship super predatory isnt even being able to drive a car or living alone or paying bills. high school students can pay rent and drive a car and have a job and i dont think an adult my age should be fucking around with them. no i dont mean to call anyone who was 16-17 and had an 18 year old sexually abusing them is a liar (THEY ARENT. minors STILL CANT CONSENT TO SEX, if your force your younger partner to have sex w u/take pictures/role play sexual shit with u ur a monster plain and simple). i dont mean to say an 18 year old can date a fucking 30 year old or above and that not be kind of predatory. what im saying is some of yall get rly weird and say shit like “two 18 year olds shouldnt be in a relationship unless theyre both in high school in which case its predatory and borderline pedophilia, bc one is an ‘adult’ and the other is a complete ‘child’”. the ages of 16-19 are weird. theyre the true teenage years where you’re certainly not a ‘real adult’ and also not a complete child. having a relationship w another kid in that age group within 2 years of u doesnt automatically make the older party member a pedophile by virtue of dating them. because an 18 year old college student has more in common with their 17 year old hs partner who is literally preparing to go to college themselves, taking tests to go to college, and applying for colleges while picking out a major. especially its not predatory if they both knew each other in high school. 

this isnt a hard and fast rule like i said. this is a weird age where a relationship can easily be sketchy or it can not be. but acting like you can accurately measure “maturity” at this age is a laugh. i remember being that age and from 16-19 and whether it was in high school or going to college it was a wreck. i still had no idea what i was doing, no idea about the ‘real world’, had trouble understanding how to meal plan and got nervous buying gas. im 22 now and i barely qualify as a ‘mature adult’ and i know for a fact 18 year olds do not magically become more nature when they enter college. if you said “i dont think a 16 y/o and an 18 y/o should date” id say fine. but sometimes u gotta chill out and i say this as a csa victim. ive seen multiple ppl go thru sexual abuse at that age too. i will say ppl take sexual abuse less seriously at that age by far and its such a shame. but u cant magically determine ‘maturity’ like that. and u gotta stop hyper fixating on the ages of hypothetical kids dating or kids’ relationships in media when they arent that far apart in age or maturity. like dial it back. remember u probably werent magically fucking mature the second u graduated hs or got ur drivers license. kno theres lots of mature adults who live at home and dont got a license who shouldnt be dating 17 y/os bc theyre fucking mentally mature adults who dont have the same types of relationships as hs kids or kids coming out of hs. chill a bit and think abt other shit 

[theacefandom-blog]

@nevr those were just the first two incidents i could think of. while i was looking up some readings for this somebody else pointed out sheldon cooper from the big bang theory. and heres an article where cbs’ elementary handled sherlocks sexuality similarly to the bbc show. the fact is that you have at least three major, emmy-winning television shows that are doing this. its not an isolated incident, and its one that a lot of people are exposed to.

also im confused, are you suggesting that sherlock is queerbaiting gay fans too? because it definitely does. and im not sure why you think your so qualified to discuss it when you’ve never seen it before?

benedict cumberbatch has called sherlock asexual. steven moffat however has called asexuality “boring” and said “It’s the choice of a monk, not the choice of an asexual. If he was asexual, there would be no tension in that, no fun in that – it’s someone who abstains who’s interesting.” when asked whether or not sherlock is ace. so on one hand you have one person p instrumental to the characters development confirming it, while the main writer denies it and refuses to make it canon. 

as to what qualifies as baiting ace viewers, i think this has a very good explanation.  and here’s another one. 

and are you trying to say that queerbaiting is a way to get around censors? because that requires the author to actually intending for there characters to be interpreted as being some sort of lgbt+ identity. which is the exact opposite of what queerbaiting is.

“plus as far as i know sherlock iscalled a sociopath regularly in that show so i don't understabd why you'd want him as "representation"?” im going to link to this post again because it has a good explanation. in addition, as somebody who is autistic, i can relate to his character a lot (bc he is also autistic-coded. not like moffat would ever address that anyways.). believe it or not there are people with intersectional identities and we do like to see representation (admittedly, there are definitely better ways to write an autistic a-spec character, but this is all we have right now and having somebody try to take it away from us is not good). and to quote asexualadvice, “So they don’t get people complaining about queer/ace characters being in the show, and they don’t have to take a stand for anything, but they still get to use the character’s orientation (or hints thereof) for cheap laughs or thrills. And that’s without even getting into how problematic it is that a character’s orientation is even THERE to be used as cheap laughs/thrills instead of a real, valid part of them as a person.”

like i said im sure that these discussions do exist, but they are far rarer and usually only had by people who belong to that specific identity (similarly to discussions of ace queerbaiting). however, a lot of the discussions centered around queerbaiting people who are attracted to someone of the same gender are held not only in their communities, but in the lgbt+ community at large. for example, i am not sapphic but i often read and reblog posts concerning media where a sapphic relationship is the subject of the queerbaiting.

“and as for house i dont know what you expected like i watched that whole show and its not even worth complaining about the bad things in it bc theres so much of it” so if something is so terrible we aren’t allowed to complain about it? this doesnt make any sense, sorry.