#im scared tbh

[jortenthusiasst]

I fear the sunshine court is going to tear me to pieces chew me up and spit me back out then stomp all over me then piss and shit on me then degrade me and then it will end and there I will be. There is going to be nothing sunshine about this damn book unless Jeremy Knox himself starts glowing

[rhymey-workshop]

Feel free to skip. TW: I'm joining the military.

Growing up is really hard, and I don't think we realize that until we're on the verge of a big change, standing on the border between two parts of your life, balancing on a precipice before you take the swan dive known to many as change.

I'm packing my things. My dad finally brought home boxes and storage tubs and I'm finally packing my things, and that makes the passage of time so much more real.

I'm packing my things. My mom opened the door to tell me to watch my sleeping brother, and said nothing about the fact my room is a mess, or that I was just staring blankly at the cardboard box I just taped the bottom of. That box is ready for my craft books and paint stuff, my origami paper, my reading stand, my books on how to make stuff like children's books and animation. She made no mention of it all, just made that same pinched expression she has for weeks and then schooled her expression into something more neutral as she nodded towards the bedroom where my brother is and after a moment I got up and stumbled in, sitting at the foot of the bed to type out some kind of vent on Tumblr.

I'm packing my things, and I'm stuck between wanting to cry and finding myself unable to cry. I'm leaving home. I've been dreaming of getting out of here off and on since I was 13. At times I had a countdown of years, months, weeks, days that I had to stay, that I had to wait for the day I could finally leave. It made being angry or sad or any other complicated emotion easier. It made hardship easier to cope with. It made it easier to get through the hard times because I knew I could leave and nothing could stop me.

I'm packing my things, slowly, piece by piece, and I'm starting to understand the weight of what my dad said, when he said I was the first person on either side of my family in generations to not run away from home before turning 18. My mom left home at 17, my dad spent more days out of the house than in it as a teenager and left the god damn country. My bio paternal family has these issues too. My maternal family is full of people that ran off, that stayed away from home and didn't look back. My mom only speaks to one sister, and can't speak to her brother as long as their mother is alive. I didn't leave. I finished high school, I got my diploma, I took my time and I didn't leave before I was a legal adult.

I'm packing my things to leave home, and it's hard. It's scary. I've never been away from home for very long, and here I am, getting ready to do something more than just "Move out".

I'm packing my things, putting my life into boxes, sorting what's going to stay, waiting for me to return, what's getting tossed, what's going to get donated or given away. I keep finding things and remembering shit related to them. I keep finding things and remembering who gave them to me. I keep finding things and remembering which parent smiled when I got it.

I'm packing my things, and in a way I'm also processing a kind of grief I didn't know existed.

I'm leaving home for something I thought through for 8 months, and I'm coming up on the one year anniversary since I made my decision. It's been just under two since I signed the dotted line, swore in, and came home to congratulations and a sureness that I'm doing the right thing for me.

In 5 days, I'm going to my last meeting. Getting a send off from a group of people doing the same thing. A couple of them doing the EXACT same thing.

In 9 days, I'll spend the last full 24 hours I've got with my family, eating a fruit tart and playing putt putt. I'll say good night and that'll be the last time I see them for months at the very least.

In 10 days, I'm hiding my key on the porch and walking out the front door while everyone is asleep. They'll wake up and I'll be hundreds of miles away from them. In 10 days, I'm hopping in a big unmarked government van (and this will never not be funny to me) with like 5 other people and we're all doing the same thing. We're going somewhere and we have no idea what is really waiting for us.

In 11 days, I'm not in civilian limbo anymore. As it stands I am subject to the UCMJ but I'm not a sailor yet. In 11 days, I'm a recruit, and that's fucking dizzying to think about.

I'm getting ready to start a new part of my life and it's going to be exciting and new and I'll make friends and I'll go a couple places and I'll have stories to tell my brother and family. I think I'll be better, when all is said and done.

But right now, I'm packing my things into boxes and tubs, and right now, I want to cry.

[chaurey]

just registered for my first fide rated tournament....

[bibyshitsuji24k]

Yana's comment on chapter 200:

✨Next time, chapter 200! I'm glad to be healthy enough to draw and deliver you this manga every month [Yana]✨

[willyoubethepookietomypookster]

WARNING FOR POTENTIAL SPOILERS IDK 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

The new civil war movie is genuinely terrifying. You go into this movie thinking its gonna be some random cool dystopian film and then you watch it and you're like "...Jesus Christ. This isn't that different from current America." Even one of the scenes immediately stressed me out and made me feel like I was really living it. The chaos, the brutality, the screaming, the fighting. That was all current America. Really the only difference was all the dead bodies and abandoned cities. And also, just to mention, the movie reminded me a lot of the war in Gaza right now and the genocide happening, and if you see this movie and DONT support Palestinians even though this is a fraction of what they're going through.....are you okay? Anyway back to the movie itself. This movie actually scared me. The emotions are so raw and the photographs and imagery are so real it feels like you're right in the war with them, especially when you realize something like this isn't too far off if things don't change soon. Anyway that was my take and I loved this movie!!

[synthesizerfaggot]

2 people have died at my high school in the past 6 months or so

[novaxmuses]

A Detective is on the way over. I'll be MIA for a little bit. Had to call my other Roommate at work and they had to leave work to come talk to the Detective. I really hope everything is Alright please send me good vibes.

[bowser14456]

Everyday I'm worried about season 6. No not the writing, the lies! (Adrien is actually a sentbeing, Gabriel fucking Agreste is Monarch, Chat Blanc etc)I can't really see a way the show will make this go well. A breakup is in adrienette's future.

[mullettaegi]

applied for a job, kinda terrifying kinda like !!! a job! cause i wanna earn again. i had fhe option to give my phone number but i feel like places are less likely to contact you if you jusg put your email which is rude like lets just type not ring, but the job im applying to i have to be on the phone all day... but its okay cause its kinda like a script phone call and also im just gonna challenge my confidence cause ik im more competent than i think i am

[quinndjarin]

Been watching the sopranos for the first time and I’m on the final ep

[sparrowwwww]

Yo who lost their thigh highs

[ezrevenge]

i love these guys

[ image description: a view of the driver's seat of a nissan with autism creatures (white four-legged little guys with round heads, big black eyes, and blank/neutral expressions) scattered all over the seat and wheel, staring at you with their autistic eyes. (in impact font in all caps) the top text reads 'sorry my car is such a mess', the bottom text reads 'you can just throw those in the back'. /end ID ]

[astrofloof]

do i dare return to ff tumblr

[celerydays]

Princess and the Frog Turtle AU 🐢👑

[planetariumx]

no bc u guys are feeding my delusions with these Eddie theories 😭 i dont wanna get my hopes up just to be disappointed

[honey2omb]

hey so is bpd favorite person-ing like imprinting or