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hermit-god-au-pog · 3 years

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[OLD AND MAY BECOME NON-CANON LATER ON]

Bet you didn't expect me huh! I'm here with an actual short story!

Before we start I’d like to thank @doctorsiren, @sweetest-honeybee, and @mjlor-chan for letting me use their persona’s in this au! Once I start getting more stories written, I shall try and add them in where I can!

I just wanted to say I tried my best to make {No-Name-Reporter} as gender-less and species-less as possible! So you decide what they are! And I reread this 2 times after finishing but there probably still mistakes, so I apologize in advance for that!

If the ones I tag actually read this, I hope I did you all justice haha. If you want a further look on what this au is about just look here-actually, its a pretty good overview.

Long story sort, The hermits are gods, and no one besides them and their Ambassadors&Advertisers know this. And in this short story, a pretty rude reporter interviews each A&A team!

If I need to add any trigger warnings please tell me! As well if anyone wants to be on a taglist. Without further-a-do, lets get into the story!

What’s happening you may ask? Well, I, {No-Name-Reporter} am going to interview each of the Hermit’s Ambassadors and Advertisers! Now, we have 3 categories to get through.

1st, The Ambassador and advertiser mix! In this category, we have 4 Mr.’s and a he/they; -Elybeatmaker, JCtheFluteman, Jono, ThePooka, and Gideon21. They will be who I’m talking to first.

2nd, The Ambassadors! This bunch is a group of 4 men, from what we’ve gathered; PixlRiffs, Zloyxp, Skizz, and Solidarity.

3rd and final, The Advertisers! This group includes a she/they, and 2 lovely gals] ; Doctor Siren, Sweetest-HoneyBee, Mjlor-Chan.

Now, with all their names and job titles out of the way, Let’s get to the interviews, shall we? I have 7 questions for each title and person to get through.

--The Ambassador&Advertiser Mix--

Laughing and joking around with each other, playfully shoving one another, the group of 5 walked into the sectioned-off park area the reported had reserved. They all sat down in the seats across from the reporter that was already there. {No-Name-Reporter} opened their journal and cleared their throat to get the A&A’s attentions.

“Now, I thank you all for agreeing to come. I am {No-Name-Reporter}, here to ask you about you and your jobs, what it’s like working under the Hermits. If it is ok with you all, I’d like to begin” With nods and agreements from the 5 guests, {No-Name-Reporter} gave a curt nod. Turning on their recording device and clicking their pen, they look at the 5.

“Question number 1, What are your names and titles?” Holding the recording device in the direction of the other 5, the reporter waited patiently.

“My name is ElyBeatmaker, Ely for short, I think I’m the most recognizable member of the Ambassadors&Advertizers team, also known as the A&A team. My pronouns are he/him”

“My name is JCTheFluteMan, JC for short. I’m often working most with Ely over here. My pronouns are He/Him.”

“My name is JonoSmithers! Jono for short, I’m actually Rendogs brother, but I don’t give him too much special treatment, don’t worry” Jono gave a Lil wink even though the audio couldn’t catch it. “My pronouns are He/Him”

“I’m Th3Pooka! Pooka for short, I’m the newest to the group so I’m still figuring out my place. He/Him pronouns!”

“And I’m Gideon21! Gideon for short, I’ve collabed the most with JC but tend to do my own thing. He/They pronouns.”

“Wonderful,” {No-Name-Reporter} started, scribbling down some notes. “Next question, What are your jobs responsibilities?” Looking back up {No-Name-Reporter} waited patiently. The 5 looked between each other, deciding who should respond.

“Well,” Ely started up “Our job has a lot” The others nodded.

“While we all do different things, the main objectives are that we help the Hermits advertise the server and their vlogs. On the ambassador part, we’ll typically do interviews like this or tag along to events and such if the strictly Ambassador team needs extra hands.” Gideon finished.

“Typically I’ll do thumbnails or little animations for the Hermits” Pooka added on.

“And we make and commission music for the Hermits” Jono, JC, and Ely said in unison. Nodding as they talked, {No-Name-Reporter} made sure to take some more notes and asked the next question without looking up.

“Two questions next, Who is in charge? Of you and your job, and what can we expect next?” A few gave a few playful eye rolls and shakes of their heads.

“Xisuma manages out paychecks” Ely stated plainly and with no room to question much.

“But between the A&A team, we don’t have a boss really, we all communicate and work things out. On paper the ‘director’ is Ely but he is not our boss” Gideon butts in after Ely, the other three nodding at the two in agreement.

“What you can expect next though, From me probably a lot more animations for the Hermits, and some of me and the Team” Pooka spoke excitedly, his tail swishing slightly.

“And for the musical peeps, we got commissions were looking into, and making music of our own” JC finished up this section, the 5 of them seem satisfied with what they’ve said. As {No-Name-Reporter} acted like they were about to ask more about that subject Jono quickly cut in.

“Next question please” Narrowing his eyes Jono raised an eyebrow, as to dare the reporter to challenge him. The reported just nodded and cleared their throat.

“Ok, ok, next question then, Can we, the public, talk to the Hermits-”

“Only if they agree to it specifically” Ely immediately interrupted.

“We’re not the people to ask for that, ask them. Next question please” JC finished. {No-Name-Reporter} seemed a bit taken aback and flushed by the response, but fixing their tie, they nod a bit and huff.

“How did you each get this job? Are you qualified enough?” The 5 stay quiet for a minute and look at the interviewer, they knew the questions were preplanned but that seemed a bit harsh.

“Well,” Gideon started. “For our own reasons, we were each approached by a Hermit and or Xisuma individually, whether in public or by email. Shortly after an interview was conducted and we got the job, as you can see by us sitting here.” Gideon made sure to keep it vague, smirking as it seemed to annoy the interviewer.

“As to if we’re qualified, do you really think the hermits would hire us if we weren’t? In order to hire someone, every single hermit has to agree to it. Even with the siblings on the teams, they had to go through the same process” Jono added on, crossing his arms and tilting his head.

“Each Hermit sampled our products and looked at our backgrounds, if they did not want us, we would not be here.” Pooka huffed out.

“Next question” JC and Ely said in unison, leaving no room for argument. {No-Name-Reporter} rolled their eyes and grit their teeth but gave them a smile.

“Final question, Have you ever lied or stretched the truth when asked about who the Hermits are and what they do?” JC put a hand on Jono’s shoulder, Gideon putting an arm in front of Pooka, to keep the two sitting down, they let Ely speak.

“First off, that is very rude, preplanned or not the way you have set this up is very distasteful” Ely spoke calmly. “To answer the question, No. We say what we know and don’t spill secrets. Everyone has secrets, just like you do, at least we would respect that.” The five of them got up, and as they started walking away Ely stayed for a moment.

“The A&A team is done with this interview, and we hope you have a good day, please refrain from asking for additional interviews. The A&A’s answer will most likely be a no” With that Ely followed his friends out, and {No-Name-Reporter} turned off the recorded. Letting out a frustrated sigh, they mutter;

“Let’s hope the Ambassadors will be easier to get through.”

--The Ambassadors--

The Ambassadors entered more calmly than the A&A did. Walking in, calmly talking to each other, cracking jokes here and there, they sat down in their designated seats. 2 out of 4 of them tried to look at least a little presentable as they sat down, while the other two relaxed casually into their seats, but not like they were relaxing at home. {No-Name-Reporter} gave the 4 of them a smile, flipping to a blank page in their notebook.

“Welcome, and thank you 4 for agreeing to come. I am {No-Name-Reporter}, and I’m here to ask you about you and your jobs, what it’s like working under the Hermits. If it is ok with you all, I’d like to begin” The 4 of them agreed without too much fuss, so with a click of a pen and a push of a button to turn on the recorder, {No-Name-Reporter} cleared their throat.

“Question number 1, What are your names and titles?”

“My name is PixlRiffs, Pixl for short, I am the announcer for HermitRecap and tend to be the main speaker of the 4 of us. My pronouns are He/Him” Pixl was quick to speak, almost like clockwork.

“ ‘M Zloyxp, just Zloy, please. I’m the other member of HermitRecap, Me and my buddy pixl tend to be the go-to for Ambassador work. He/Him pronouns” Zloy was one of the two to sit in the chair, relaxed as can be.

“The names Skizzleman! Most call me Skizz. I’m closest to team ZIT and impulse, but I do my part as an ambassador for the hermits. He/Him pronouns” He was the other Ambassador who sat in a relaxed state.

“Uh, hey! I- My name is Solidarity, I go by that and Jimmy. I am actually Mumbo’s brother, no I’m not good at Redstone. I’m new to the team but excited to be here. He/Him pronouns!” He seemed to be a bit nervous, the reporter liked this. Giving a pleasant smile, {No-Name-Reporter} tapped the pen against their journal, watching Jimmy’s reaction carefully.

“Wonderful, thank you all, next question. What are your jobs responsibilities?” Jimmy and Skizz take a quick glance at Pixl and Zloy, Pixl speaking up first.

“As Ambassadors to the Hermitcraft server, we often take care of the behind-the-scenes work when the hermits cant. Such as meetings, event planning, member tallies, recaps of what’s going on in the server, and making sure their image is not wrongly portrayed.” Pixl spoke calmly, and kept his expression neutral as if he was trained for this kind of situation.

“Right, now Pixl and I do most of the work since the other two are newer, but we all have our own roles within the Ambassador title. Next question please” Zloy seemed to get a bit more defensive, making the reporter raise an eyebrow.

“Ok, well then, next question I suppose” {No-Name-Reporter} looked at Zloy for a prolonged second before glancing to the rest of them. ”Two questions next actually, Who is in charge? Of you and your job, and what can we expect next?”

“Well Xisuma handles our paychecks” Zloy responded with a bit of snark, giving the interviewed a toothy smirk. Pixl rolled his eyes but hid a smile.

“As for who is ‘in charge’ of the operations” Pixl used his fingers to do quotation marks “Typically Zloy and I take the lead since we have more experience. But on paper, I am technically the lead man. But none of us think that per se” Pixl crossed his legs and sat back in his seat. “We, like the hermits, are very kind and cooperative people. We communicate constantly and keep an eye on one another” Pixel added on with a sickly sweet tone. Zloy gave the reported a look as if to dare to say something snarky or rude to them.

“Ah! As to what you can expect next!” Skizz clapped, seeming to either ignore the tense air or be oblivious to it. “We’re talking with the hermits about the new Minigame that’s been created by NoxCrew and Mr.Scott Smajor, a few of the hermits might be interested. As well as a more, tense little ‘mini game’ server is in the works. I can’t spoil too much behind it, but it’s going to be FILLED with action” Jimmy seemed to get excited as the two things were announced.

“Besides the hermits, some of us Ambassadors and Advertisers Might actually be participating as well” Skizz nodded and gave Jimmy a smile, glad to see him calm down a bit. {No-Name-Reporter} nodded as they quickly wrote all this down, happy to finally get some new news from these guys. ‘About fucking time’ they thought to themselves.

“Ok, next question, Can we, the public, talk to the Hermits?” Skizz and Jimmy instantly looked uncomfortable and Zloy let out a heavy annoyed sigh.

“With all due respect, we’ve tried to tell the public this many times” Pixl started, uncrossing his legs and leaning forward a bit. “The hermits are pretty private people, most of them at least. And unless they announce it themselves, no, the general public usually cannot personally talk to the hermits. And we Ambassadors ask for everyone to respect the Hermits boundaries in that way” {No-Name-Reporter} sat back a bit, caught off guard by Pixl’s intensity, muttering a soft almost silent ‘rude’ to themselves. Clearing their throat they flipped to a clean page in their journal.

“Ok, next two questions. How did you each get this job? Are you qualified enough?” Zloy let out a soft growl, not caught by the recording device thankfully. He bared his sharp teeth at this reporter, the way the questions were asked striking a small nerve. Pixl even felt his eye twitch a bit. Jimmy was actually the first to speak up.

“Well, The hermits have a very long and extensive hiring process. After getting everyone to agree to a player, they have to do an extensive background check and a couple of interviews before you can get the job” Skizz nods and glanced over at the recap.

“Zloy and Pixl have been doing this almost as long as the server has been online. They’re probably some of the most qualified people out there, and that’s actually quite a rude statement to ask us. We are ambassadors to the server, we would not be here if we didn’t have the skills necessary. I’m sure the hermits and the public would agree with us on that.” Skizz gave a soft sigh.

“Next question please, I’m sure none of us are comfortable enough to continue this conversation.“ The other three nod in agreement with Skizz’s statement. {No-Name-Reporter} only gave a curt nod and looks back at their notes.

“Ok then. Final question, Have you ever lied or stretched the truth when asked about who the Hermits are and what they do?” Zloy quickly stood, knocking over his chair. Pixl stood a bit calmer and put a hand on Zloys chest. Pixl, not taking his eyes off his friend spoke.

“We choose not to answer this question. And after today, we safely say we will no longer take interview requests from your company. After your interviews with the Advertisers, please never come back.” With that Pixl lead an upset Zloy out of the park.

Skizz stood, helping Jimmy up. “Thank you for the interview and we hope you got answers you were happy with. Have a good day” Skizz spoke, not looking at the interviewer. After {No-Name-Reporter} shut off the recorder Jimmy looks at them.

“Just as a warning, if hermits are to catch word of this rude behavior, they won’t be the happiest. So when you edit that, make sure to make yourself sound a bit nicer and less...sleazy” With that, the final 2 ambassadors left the park.

--The Advertisers--

The 3 of them walk into the park almost silently, {No-Name-Reporter} almost missed them. As the 3 sat down, One gave a smile and wave.

“Hey there, Thanks for inviting us along!” The Bee hybrid spoke cheerfully, The dragon hybrid gave a small noise of agreement as the Demon like one gave a small nod. While The Bee and dragon Hybrid sat straight up, hands in their laps, the Demon-like hybrid sat back, arms crossed across their chest, not looking unpleasant but not looking ecstatic to be here. {No-Name-Reporter} gave a slight cough.

“Yes, Thank you three for coming! I’m {No-Name-Reporter}, I’m here to ask you about you and your jobs, what it’s like working under the Hermits. If it is ok with you all, I’d like to begin” With agreement from the 3 gals, {No-Name-Reporter} turns on the recorder and clicks their pen open, looking at the 3 in front of them.

“Question number 1, What are your names and titles?”

“My name is Sweetest-Honeybee, You can call me Bee. I’m typically doing most of the public work and deals, while also doing a lot of the animation for the team! She/They please.”

“My name’s Doctor-Siren! Shortened to Siren usually. While I also do a lot of public stuff, not as much as Bee. I typically like to make the character designs and manage the plans of all our projects going on! She/Her pronouns please.”

“And I’m Mjlor-Chan. Mjlor for short. I typically do storyboards and do the final rundown of the projects before they’re released. As well as dealing with complaints and follow-ups usually. I use she/her pronouns” {No-Name-Reporter} nods, writing everything down.

“Ok, thank you. You’ve kind of already answered this but, if you have anything else to add please do. What are your jobs responsibilities?” Bee and Siren laugh a little bit, and Mjlor rolls her eyes amused glancing over at the other two.

“Well, typically we’re the ones making deals with the public for the hermits when they want or need the hermits to sponsor something, or they want to sponsor the hermits. We also ask other artists for commissions if we or a hermit wants it. Additionally, we do a lot of the more advanced art for some hermits and the rest of the team.” Bee started to explain.

“We also do commissions of our own, outside of the hermits” {No-Name-Reporter} rose an eyebrow at Mjlors comment, she looks back at the reporter, raising an eyebrow back.

“So, you work for others besides the hermits?” {No-Name-Reporter} spoke with an illusion of shock and confusion. Mjlor rolled her eyes and sighed in unison with Bee and Siren like they’ve heard this before. Mjlor sat up fully, leaning forward so her arms rested on her legs.

“Listen, the hermits are great, and sure they pay us plenty. But that doesn’t mean they own us or our services. We still work for other people, and other artists work for them. Plain and simple” Bee slightly nudged Mjlor.

“Everything Mjlor said was right. And I think we move on now please.”

“If I could ask a few more questions about-”

“No,” the three advertisers said at once.” Next question please” Bee stated once again, making the reporter give a defeated sigh.

“Ok, next question. Two questions actually, Who is in charge? Of you and your job, and what can we expect next?” {No-Name-Reporter} looked at the three expectantly, feeling the atmosphere in the room suddenly grow heavier, but the tones of the three didn’t change to anything malicious.

“Xisuma manages our paychecks and makes sure we get them on time” Bee started talking first.

“And we don’t really have a set leader or director here. We all have different jobs within the advertising department. So one of us can exactly look over everything” Siren tried to explain.

“With us, we have to communicate in order to get shit done, and that’s what we do. So technically we’re all in charge of ourselves, we don’t need a big boss hovering over our shoulder like you” Mjlor finished, sitting back again, crossing her arms again.

“And a lot of our projects are pretty private, strictly between us, the hermits, and our clients. If you want to know more, a hermit or client will publicly announce what they’re doing and you can ask them. Privacy is important here.” Bee crossed her legs, putting their hands on their knee as they gave the reporter a smile. After a long silence {No-Name-Reporter} let out an awkward cough.

“Well since you just answered my next question, ill skip to the others after that. I have two questions actually. How did you each get this job? Are you qualified enough?” Mjlor gave out a low heavy sigh and rubbed their temple as Bee’s wings jitter in annoyance and Sirens wings try to puff up to make her look bigger, but she soothes them back down.

“Listen, {No-Name-Reporter}, we’re not really liking your questions, your delivery and the way you’re talking to us is very rude. Knowing the hermits or not, you shouldn’t treat someone like this. And frankly, I’m not going to deal with that. “Mjlor states as she stood, Bee and Siren following her lead.

“If you’ve treated us like this I’m afraid how you treated the others.” Siren shook her head slightly at the reporter, already mentally planning on contacting the other 2 teams to see how their interviews went. {No-Name-Reporter} quickly stood up after them, reaching out a hand.

“Wait, ok, at least answer my final question, Have you ever lied or stretched the truth when asked about who the Hermits are and what they do? There are a lot of rumors going on around them you know” {No-Name-Reporter} fell silent as all 3 advertisers turn to face them. They all gave them a stare that didn’t quite have ill intent, but it surely wasn’t friendly either.

“Listen {No-Name-Reporter}. I recommend you leave this area and refrain from contacting us or the hermits ever again” Bee spoke calmly, walking closer as she held her arms behind her back. “We took time out of our busy days to talk to you, the hostility is not appreciated.” As {No-Name-Reporter} started to try and walk back, the back of their legs hit the seat and out of surprise fell back into the seat. Siren used her wings to flutter hop over. Grabbing the recording device, she pressed the stop button.

“The hermits are kind people and try to show that, but also aren’t pushovers like some people think they are.” Siren handed the recording device back to the stunned reporter. “And they’re going to be very displeased to learn this whole interview was to try and get secrets about them from us.” the {No-Name-Reporter} starter to sputter and explain themself but Mjlor put a hand on their shoulder.

{No-Name-Reporter} almost jumped out of their seat and turned to look at the girl who seemed to just appear next to them. {No-Name-Reporter} gave Mjlor a cautious and confident look as to say ‘hurt me, I dare you, ill take you down if you do’. Mjlor gave them a smirk and leans down.

“Don’t worry {No-Name-Reporter}, I’m not going to hurt you, I would never, I think I’m being unrightfully accused” Mjlor feigned innocence. “I just want you to know, you have 12 people who know; what you look like, your name, and where you work. If the hermits truly wanted to find you to give you a follow-up after this, it would not be very hard.” With that Mjlor stood up and let go of the reporter’s shoulder, pulling out her communicator she walked out of the park, probably messaging the Ambassadors and the A&A’s. {No-Name-Reporter} let out a shaky breath and looked at the other two who have gathered their stuff.

“I hope you have a lovely rest of your day {No-Name-Reporter}” Bee said with a smile.

“And I sure do hope you learn not to be as rude. It’s not a good look and can get you in trouble” Siren said with concern and then a smile. The two then followed Mjlors lead and left {No-Name-Reporter} sitting there. Stunned and a little frightened.

Aftermath

“Yeah, that company is very bad news. Are we putting them on the no-contact list?” Ely commented. Currently, all 12 A&A’s were in a room together, it was the next day. They had just finished sharing their stories with each other.

“Oh definitely, I’m half tempted to tell the hermits. But that might just cause the hermit’s more stress than they need” Zloy huffed out, scratching his head and leaning back in his seat, glancing up and behind him at Pixl, who nodded in agreement.

“Let’s wait for a minute to see what they do before we tell the hermits. But definitely put them on No-Contact” Pixl looked at the 3 advertisers. “They seemed to be the worst with you three though.” The 3 gals looks between each other and shrug.

“Eh, could be a lot of reasons why. None of the options nice but still” Siren spoke from the spot she was perched on, Bee and Mjlor nodded.

“I made sure he knew we weren't going to take any of his shit early on, and I think that pissed him off” Mjlor snorted, Bee laughing softly as well, nodded.

“That you did. In general he gave a shitty vibe” Everyone in the room agreed with Bee’s statement. Then Jimmy’s and Jono’s coms buzzed. Checking their messages they both cringed.

“So...my brother just texted”

“Mine too”

“Looks like the reporter has a fast work ethic because the article is already out” Jono looked up to see the differing looks of upset in the room then to Jimmy. Jimmy looking back at him than the others.

“Turns out it’s not the nicest article either, to put it nicely, and the hermits who already know are not happy. I think we should be getting a text from-”

~Ding~

“Xisuma” Ely, Pixl, and Zloy said at the same time. The room stayed silent for a moment before they all started to laugh.

“Ok, let’s get this crazy shit show rolling shall we?” Pooka recommended, holding up 3 recorders of his own. Each labeled with the different departments the group was in.

“Wait, are those each from our interviews?” Skizz questioned, to which pooka nodded quickly.

“Sure is, and I say we use these to our advantage.” And with that, everyone gave each other a mischievous smirk. With a message to Xisuma for a meeting place, they all started leaving the room, excited to cause some mayhem. They all deserved some fun after those interviews, as a treat.

#HGAU stories #hermitcraft #hermit recap #honorary hermits #i really dont wanna tag 12 people #thats a lot #hermitcraft recap #But!#i had fun with this-writing it and stuff #many mistakes or not haha #i hope whoever reads this had fun too!#and i hope i did the 3 i tagged justice #im scared to share it just cause i dont want them to hate it xD

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urmomification · 3 years

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SWAG ANOTHER DREAM SMP AU FIC IDEA THAT ILL NEVER WRITE POG

this is a very long post please im so sorry my brain it just

(tw for like slight possession n shit)

(sorry its all jumbled i write all of these in discord to my friend and copy paste them here please if u have questions ask me im always willing to talk abt this shit please it haunts me)

(context: i saw a tiktok abt the hc that both dream and techno are gods of some sort bc theyre mentioned in the tales of the smp by karl a time traveller and my brain just ran w it)

going back to the techno and dream are gods thing right so dream is a vessel for the god dream xd (??? work in progress youll know what im talking about at some point its really funny tho uve def seen clips of it) and he was possessed?? by the god after the server started (when he started going from super friendly with everyone to control/power hungry) when he started sacrificing everything for power so no one could have power over him? that was the god making him do it bc the god was terrified of not being in control since theyd lost it all to techno in their past. thats why we never see dream and techno fight and why we see dream extend help and support to him at times as well as respecting his boundaries and such bc theyre scared of techno (again w the best of 10 duel reference, techno killed the god in a past life which is why the god has been forced to use a human vessel to get anything done on the mortal plane) but when something that powerful spends pretty much any amount of time in something mortal and mundane like a person, the host body starts to change (hence the mask) i like to think that the god would be akin to that of a biblically correct angel?? like the ones w multiple eyes n shit yk so after time things start to happen to normal dreams body he gets extra sets of eyes and he gets taller and overall his body seems just Too Small for whatevers inside of him and thats why he (hc) started wearing the mask in the first place he knew something was wrong w him but he didnt want anyone to know even tho they would most likely help him he was ashamed that he was different in the first place so he started wearing the mask once the other eyes showed up. and i think that the god would talk to dream similarly to how technos voices work yk? except its just the one voice instead of many many small ones. and again with the mask thing when he lost to tommy and they took him in, part of his mask broke to the point where u could see just a bit of the right side of his face but enough to see that it Wasnt Right there were two eyes where there shouldve been one and spots on his cheeks bright enough to resemble stars and where the color of his pupil should have been is just a sickeningly neon green with nothing else behind it. so they let him keep the mask even tho they already know something is wrong but it clearly makes him Very Distressed when asked to remove the mask or told to give it up. blah blah blah god harassing its host bc it got them caught and thrown in a prison and dream goes ever so slightly insane having to share a mind and body with a literal ancient god w a vendetta against everything hes built whos forced him to sacrifice everything he loved and cared for out of fear yk the usual prison shit and then techno comes a long and breaks him out or whatever but on their way back to his house he drops a really cryptic line abt how 'its nice to see an old friend again' and 'i thought i got rid of u for good last time' and dream is just ???? what are u talking about?? weve never been friends and youve never gotten rid of me? what. until techno spins around and just 'im not talking to you im talking to the thing inside u' or whatever and dreams eyes flash some brilliant gold or sumn and boom this is ur fellow god speaking how may i help you and dream xd (that feels so wrong to say but) and techno bond or well ig just talk abt how the past centuries have gone and ig while xd is fronting (??? i think itd kinda be like DID in a sense w multiple people being able to front yk?) dream is in a sort of semi conscious state but still hears everything going on around his own body until hes thrown back into the drivers seat (i think that xd would only be able to front for short periods of time due to the vessel n shit that makes sense right) and hes so confused someone please help him hes just a dude who happened to get possessed by a god someone help him so when they finally get back to technos house he sits dream down and explains the best he can without literally melting dreams brain. which would also play into the 'technoblade never dies' bc hes. literally a god. mortals cant kill him unless they have idk some sort of super weapon idk and blah blah blah xd gets what they want and finally has the ability to leave finally leaving dream literally the shell of a man with no home friends materials or anything with techno to basically take care of him until he reaches some semblance of stability again (which would take ages, realistically (wdym realistically) going from normal, to a god sharing a body with you and speaking in you brain living as a single being together and hearing their thoughts, to back to normal but with all the memories of what you did and what they made you do and also no more god speaking in ur head it would take a hot sec to recover from) so he lives with techno (whos, not to mention, another god) for a while until he can fend for himself again and after a good year or so passes and no one hears from dream they start to look for him and see what happened bc he went from the biggest threat on the server to just. gone. no one knows where he went after whatever he did and they want closure. is he dead?? who knows. so george and sap set out looking for him and decide to ask techno for help since hes good w directions n shit also he was the last person to see dream alive so he might have an idea of where he is and they walk up to his house and knock on his door and techno opens it and just stares at them he knows who they are, dreams talked about them before but hes never met them really so he talks to them, getting through the polite hellos how are yous before sap finally asks 'do you know what happened to dream? no one knows where he went and we just want closure' techno huffs and tells them to wait there he (this is the basement door im using his arctic tundra house in my head) goes down the ladder to the second basement, they can hear him talking to multiple people (ranboo phil dream) but cant tell who everyone is before coming back up the ladder, back to the door. he tells them to wait outside he needs to get something first (its dream hes getting dream) theyre standing out by carls stable when the door creaks open and dream steps out looking around for who the fuck could possibly be looking for them he betrayed everyone and most people thought he was dead who could possibly be here asking for himself and not ranboo or philza and when he steps out, his green hoodie (memento made by ranboo to help him cope w the loss of the voice in his head) catching the morning light off the snow and he was happy and then he saw them standing by the house hed grown to call home at least for now he breaks. he missed them so so much it hurt. he never expected to see them ever again much less them come looking to see him but hes scared he realizes he doesnt know what to say there is nothing to say he fucked them all over he ruined everything and then hes being hugged. they missed him too. they dont forgive him jsut yet but they missed him and thats enough for him right now. the three of them stand there just being in each others presences and techno creaks the door open to make sure they arent trying to kill each other and sighs and leans against the frame smiling. hes happy again and thats the best he can do for him. he invites them all in and offers to explain everything to them to try and ease the blame off of dream bc in all honesty it was his fault but xd made it far far worse that it should have been (a bit late but foot note abt xd i think that they would be an idle god until someone w intense feelings of powerlessness and insecurity like awoke them from their techno induced slumber and inhabited dream to help him fulfill his desires for power and control) and by the time he and dream are finished its late at night and sap and george are ??? so u were possessed by a god who techno killed centuries ago in a duel and it amplified ur feelings of insecurity and ur thirst for control to the point of isolating urself from us and destroying everything everyone cared abt?? also technos an ancient god who lusts for bloodshed but also makes turtle farms in his free time?? are we getting this right????? and techno and dream are just yea thats abt it glad this all made sense then they all go to bed (its a small house dream has a lil shack like ranboos and sap and george somehow slept over there for the night) and in the morning sap and george leave again but promise to come back, they still arent ready to forgive and forget bc even tho it wasnt all his fault his emotions getting away from him is what caused this all in the first place so they do need time to process now that they know he isnt dead and dream continues to live near techno in almost full independence and eventually moves back with his friends even tho many still hate him. hes happy and for now thats enough. another foot note; even after xd leaves his being, he still has the extra eyes, glowy freckles n is xtra tall n shit that cant just be reversed but now that hes himself again these things take their tolls on human bodies so i think hed have something at least similar to arthritis bc of how his bones were literally manipulated bc of how strong ethereal magic or whatever is. so he would still wear the broken mask but he takes it off now and is ok with it being off hes working on getting better now that hes himself again and everyone living w/by techno is helping him with that. also i think that he would get blinks of xd's memories like from when techno was killing them and have sumn like ptsd panic attacks from it and techno feels super guilty abt it but theres literally nothing he can do except apologize and after the first few times dream stopped him from apologizing bc it is his fault but he didnt do it to him so it doesnt matter to dream at least and they live in pretty much harmony until dream finally moves back in w george and sap the end. he also started wearing the mask in the first place bc of the extra eyes but he played it off as being uncomfortable around new people and not wanting them to know what he looked like until he trusted them (bc that literally makes sense irl how funky is that) so sap and george never pushed him and when they caught him without it on on the rare occasion they wouldnt pressure him to leave it off or anything even tho they already knew what he looked like (when they respect ur boundaries </3) they just assumed that it was insecurity (it was but also mans had like 3 eyes so) and just left him alone

#dream smp #long post under cut #dream mcyt #technoblade #dream xd #i love dream xd their concept is literally so fucking funny to me #this idea hit me like a train at 11pm and i wrote from 12:04am to 1:02am scribbling this down in dms on discord to my friend whos asleep #fic au idea #i should start a whole tag of that wanna bet how many posts would be there #edit: there are #2064 words and #10582 characters under the cut #what the fuck #is we fuckin doin

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dandyuism · 5 years

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190701 Dandyu @ PUBG Idol Super League Live stream fanaccounts

Sunny asked Taeyeon what shes been doing these days, Taeyeon said she dyed her hair and filmed abroad for begin again, Sunny said shes been filming for a cooking broadcast

taeng: whats your main gun?

sunny: where can i see that, im just using what i got?

taeng: yeah, but dont you have a favorite gun?

sunny: where can i see that?

Taeyeon also said its the first time doing something w a member in a long time. Sunny asked Taeyeon what she’s been up to lately before they started Taeyeon hit her head and said she dyed her hair lately LOL And went overseas and Sunny said she’s looking forward to the broadcast. Taeyeon also asked Sunny, and Sunny said she’s been doing a cooking program And Taeyeon said - the one that needs voting right?

Taeyeon & Sunny both saying they’re not so good at the game Sunny just said she needs Taeyeon to grab her by the collar and hard carry her . Sunny asked people to cheer for them (in the comments) and Taeyeon joked that should they shout? XD In the end the staff shouted and cheered for them . Sunny asked Taeyeon to invite her to jump off together from the plane . Lmao two of them are so cute giggling at everything and even the chinese translations of what they’re saying. Sunny asked Taeng whats the plan and Taeng said just to follow her But Sunny said Taeyeon didnt have any plans and separated . Taeyeon saved Sunny but Sunny died again. Sunny saying stuff like it's just the first game She has to get used to the phone Taeyeon said yup since they're not using their own phones. Sunny said she really can't play, but its okay cause Taeyeon can grab her by the collar and hard carry her. Taeyeon telling Sunny to run towards the house And Sunny said she's good at running. Taeyeon telling Sunny to pick up a particular gun, but Sunny said she's just picking up whatever she sees And she doesnt see the gun Taeyeon tells her to pick up. Taeyeon telling Sunny to pick up a particular gun, but Sunny said she's just picking up whatever she sees And she doesnt see the gun Taeyeon tells her to pick up. Taeyeon got shot to low health and Sunny found her and saved her. Taeyeon was trying to kill someone but she got shot instead and shouted to Sunny to save her. Sunny told Taeyeon to kill the person before saving her But they both got killed Taeyeon said her phone isn't letting her shoot and there's some issue. Taeyeon's saying her phone is lagging, the audio is also laggy And complains whose phone is it, then Sunny said it's not hers. Taeyeon wants to get 1st place, so Sunny said they should just find a quiet place to hide and pick up items Sunny said she doesnt really know how to fly/pick locations, so she just follows Taeyeon Sunny would stay in the plane a long time, but Taeyeon jumps asap cause Taeyeon says there's no time. Sunny said Taeyeon jumps fast and dies fast, whereas she jumps slow but dies fast. Sunny teased Taeyeon for running into the houses that she already did - no items for her to pick up. Sunny wants to stay and wait, but Taeyeon says there's no time and says they should rush out asap lol Sunny says this friend is so rushed/has no patience. Sunny wants to stay and wait, but Taeyeon says there's no time and says they should rush out asap lol Sunny says this friend is so rushed/has no patience. Taeyeon said she thought Sunny was very good at PUBG (not sure if computer or phone -didnt hear) But Sunny said her friend plays well not her. Sunny said she cant drive LOL So Taeyeon will be driving her instead. Taeyeon killed another person and Sunny said Taeyeon is hard carrying them. Sunny was wondering why her kill count didnt increase then found out that Taeyeon killed the person instead of her lol. Sunny telling Taeyeon to just die and not faint so she wont have to save her hahahah Taeyeon's telling Sunny to be a backup and watch out for her. Taeyeon is putting on her earphones now and told Sunny to do commentary. Sunny's telling Taeyeon she already killed 6 people so she can hide somewhere and survive to win, and she wont be scolded Said she doesnt understand the game much, but she just knows in survival games she should just hide. Sunny's cheering everytime the player count decreases by one Said theres 6 left and Taeyeon said one of them is herself. Sunny is good at spotting the person and telling Taeyeon what to do haha She told Taeyeon where the person sniping her was and when they crouched and stood up. When Taeyeon was trying to snipe the person, Sunny told Taeng she was being shot too and to get down and hide first . Taeyeon went to swim and Sunny said she hates it. Taeyeon got her 3rd kill and Sunny said she did well haha. Sunny said today’s MVP is Taeyeon and asked her to comment why we lost Taeyeon said she’s not used to the equipment (the phone that’s not theirs lol). Then they said its okay cause its still their first episode They’re going to have to receive their punishment now Cause they didn’t win. Taeyeon picked the 3rd punishment and said there shouldn’t be any sequence The punishment is to carry one another not their backs for 10 seconds Sunny said Taeyeon will die. Taeyeon said she does exercise too and that they aren’t paper humans anymore. The punishment Sunny chose is to sing(?) And Sunny suggested to swap their punishments cause she wants to hear Taeyeon singing. Taeyeon sung ‘Four Seasons’ 사계 and Sunny heard it as 사랑 (love) and thought Taeyeon was confessing suddenly and joked maybe thats what she wanted to hear LOL. They decide to post up the punishments afterwards The back carrying as a photo and the singing later too. Sunny’s question is What does she do when she’s bored? What’s delicious lately? Sunny said she likes lying at home w her cats and watching TV. Taeyeon asks Sunny if she just sleeps like that for 10 years. Someone asks Taeyeon if she knows what mala tang is now She doesn’t know and asked Sunny Sunny told her its spicy and said that she ate it Taeyeon said that Sunny can’t eat spicy well so she’s surprised. Sunny asked if Sogeum and Pepper are getting along well And Sunny said no Taeyeon laughed LOL Sunny said slowly Sogeum is slowly accepting Pepper Sunny said Pepper likes Sogeum a lot and always chases it. Taeyeon said that Pepper must be cute and Sunny said yup. Taeyeon’s question is if she knows how many nicknames she has in Chinese Sunny took the iPad showing Taeyeon’s stream to see. Sunny said she knows one cheeseburger recipe And Taeyeon teased her saying you just need to stack the ingredients and how easy it is And Sunny said she really wants to share it, but its the last(?) episode of her show, and Taeyeon accused her of trying to promote her show. Sunny said thats not the case and that Taeyeon will definitely not be able to do it when she sees it Taeyeon said that she will. Sunny says that there’s always something on Taeyeon’s hair, cause Taeyeon was brushing it and found something. Sunny’s question is what’s her most memorable 20s memory Sunny said they’re all SNSD memories, but she can’t even remember what happened yesterday Taeyeon tested her asking if she remembers how many rounds of games they played together. Sunny said something about her lifestyle and life goals changed and all Sunny then asked Taeyeon hat her most memorable memory is Taeyeon said 20s every moment lol Sunny said they’re grandmas that can’t remember. Taeyeon said they gave all their youth to SM Said that theres a lot of memories with fans and members. Sunny talking about how there’s snow festivals and all - Ha Er Bin but Taeyeon said she’s very scared of cold, and Sunny said thats why she should go, Taeyeon joked that she should go and just die? Sunny said she should go and overcome it. Sunny’s question is if she wants to get more pets after Sogeum and Pepper And Sunny says she doesn’t have any plans after this, and Taeyeon said 2 is hard enough. Sunny said that her drinking tolerance has dropped a lot lately and Taeyeon kept saying that she’s lying and tickled Sunny’s chin and kept saying she’s lying XD. Taeyeon’s telling Sunny to face her polaroid elsewhere so the flash won’t overlap and Sunny says she doesn’t want to XD So Taeyeon said for Sunny to take first before she takes. Taeyeon said that she’d order her polaroid by pointing her fingers (1, 2, 3, 4) Then Sunny said what about the person that receives the person who receives her pointing 4 fingers XD And Taeyeon did the “4 dollars” imitation thats famous in Korea now apparently. Taeyeon’s struggling about wondering how to point 4 fingers hahaha Then Sunny offered to help Taeyeon take a photo And Taeyeon said ‘we’re so dumb’ and Sunny said ‘what do you mean ‘we’??’ Then Taeng said just me just me. Sunny was taking photo for Taeng and Taeng told her not to take one so close up and pushed her away. Sunny suggested a hand pose for Taeyeon for #7 and Taeyeon said “As expected she’s an idol, as expected” XD Sunny said its so hard to do a broadcast - having to think of poses for Taeyeon LOL. Taeyeon said that its really been a long time since they did such a broadcast.

Taeng: (about her hair) How is it? What’s pretty? Is it pretty?

Sunny: Like a fairy.

Taeyeon: Is there any soul?? No??? (meaning Sunny isn’t saying that with any sincerity)

Sunny said that she was worse at gaming than she worried about Said that she should go home and practice, but she won’t improve even if she did practice Taeyeon said that means she and the game just doesn’t match. Taeyeon saw Sunny’s design and shouted “pretty!” a few times, and said she should copy Sunny’s design Sunny kept designing and Taeyeon said that she doesn’t have the time to design it so much as they only have 2 minutes left. Taeyeon said that their personalities show each of their designs. Sunny saw that Taeyeon signed in purple and said ‘as expected'. Taeyeon took a keychain and said that its pretty, and Sunny told her not to waste time appreciating it but sign instead But when Sunny saw the keychain she said its pretty too. Taeyeon liked the smell of shirt(?) and kept smelling it And asked don’t others have moments like these? And Sunny said no hahaha. The staff gave them presents though they didn’t eat chicken (win) since its the first broadcast Sunny gave the gift to Taeyeon since she did well Taeyeon said she’ll open it at home. Taeyeon said that though today was quite a pity, they’d practice more at home so that they can showcase more exciting stuff for the fans Sunny said that 2nd place is already very good. They’re wondering about what to say at the end, and Taeyeon said its sleeping time now And said that “Even though its not time to sleep yet, go to sleep! Since there’s tomorrow too!” And made their ending comment ‘sleep well~'. Taeyeon was imitating a flight stewardess announcement since Sunny was following her on the plane And they laughed when the translator even translated that, and Sunny apologised that she has to translate their jokes.

cr. suitaes, jasminelep

#fanaccounts #FanAcc #fanaccs #Taeyeon #Sunny #Lee Soonkyu #SunYeon #TaeSun #SunTae #Dandyu #danshin duo #sm super idol league #kim taeyeon

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derpyslurpy-da-derp-master · 6 years

Text

Things That Have Happened In The Revue Starlight Hell™ Discord In The Last 24 Hours

Finding out that while I was gone someone decided to kill Claudine, MAD AND SAD for like twenty minutes then I was fine

Shitposted to cope

basically the angst was

youtube

This happened

So did this

Me and one of the 'Top Trash’ screamed about how much we love Weiss Schnee this morning

Then screamed about how much we love the RWBY girl’s VA’s

Screamed about how Arryn Zech is a pure cinnamon roll

Memes were shared

Made an IT cringe when I showed them the video of me smacking my computer screen with a keyblade

I made the grievous error or reading all of ‘My Friend Is A Plastic Surgery Monster’

I then proceeded to scream in terror into the void and by the void I mean the chat

I planned to go to sleep with my Nora hammer at my bedside in self defense

I said this

I posted many gay memes

Collected gay shit to put on a RWBY themed calendar

Literally everyone in the chat at the time and I screamed even more about loving Weiss Schee

its a wonderful cycle

Turns out everyone else who was screaming the love Weiss Schnee also really dont like the show’s writing that much or the show in general

why does everyone hate rwby's writing ;-; Am I just dumb and easily entertained

We debated what Sienna Kahn in RWBY Chibi would be like and it was glorious

We actually semi got on topic and discussed a RWBY x RS crossover and the hijinks that would ensue with Karen and Ruby meeting and Mahiru and Weiss bonding over their puppy-like girlfriends

this happened

im now the resident cinnamon roll apparently. I’m flattered but do I deserve that title? XD

Somehow got onto topic of favorite things

Made the statement “i’m an emotionally driven person” and got called a pure cinnamon roll again like whoa...? What? Im flattered?

am also a puppy apparently? like omg these guys are too nice

RWBY Memes happened

And by this time it was my curfew and I had to go to bed, aka sit glaring at the door with my Elucidator instead of my warhammer cause it was too heavy

got called out hard for it being my own fault for reading it

This somehow lead to them going ‘Are we having a revue’ so it turned into a hypothetical Revue with me with my foam sword and Tender Mayo using a cat as a weapon because i’m allergic

The chat proceeded to fill up with Giraffe’s

Somehow this turned into everyone debating whether they would skin the giraffe

“THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!” “CHRIST YOU SAY?? KUROMAYA WOULD APPROVE OF THIS REVUE AND THAT IS THE ONLY GOD I WORSHIP!”

Somehow turned into a discussion about how shitty PETA is

I tried to deescalate the Giraffe skinning with a cat in a lobster costume and four origami yoda’s slowly getting smaller and smaller with each one

The hypothetical giraffe got skinned because I didn’t vote

this did not help me not think about the Plastic Surgery Monster story

We all realized im a dumbass with no self restraint and stupid amounts of curiosity

I got sent to the corner for being a dumbass but I got to take my sword with me

I was very thirsty an wanted to get water but was scared

This somehow turned into a talk about our deepest fears and this inevitably lead to me telling them the horrifying story of the time I had to get an IV

sent everyone a picture of me pointing at my door with my sword

as you do

Stuff winded down

I was told very aggressively to get some freaking sleep cause it’s 2AM what are you doing

I went from being too shy to talk to everyone to telling everyone a great deal about myself like deepest fears and favorite things

So basically I’ve been established as the innocent cinnamon roll that’s an excitable puppy with absolutely no self restraint

I mean... Accurate, but-

#RWBY Funny #Revue Starlight #Revue Starlight Funny #Hilarious #Adventures On Discord #Original

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abynauts · 5 years

Text

Brain, y r u liek this?

errr hallo, i just did something impulsively that my brain told me to...

I guess out of curiosity and its the final year in college so, well i chatted two guys lol WUT IS WRONG WITH ME?? Gahd why did i go overboard... or im just overthinking things hehe

so GUY A, i greeted him happy birthday on chat cuzzzz it was his birthday duh but, well the whole day, he pointed my head while i was waiting for my friend at the washroom (well i was waiting outside whilst sitting on the floor and busy with ma phone) and did it for the second time, i guess this time, totally pressing it... probably to get my attention while calling my name. And i said ‘hey’ without looking at him. Just to lol respond a bit idk y the heck i am so dem shy, especially when it comes to boys... im not close to him, but the gestures he gives sometimes haha its funny and i get to think about those than other stressful stuff. Well at least for a brief moment. Then he went inside the org’s office, which was adjacent to the washroom im waiting at.

Then he went out and called me out, and I looked at him (that make face asking ‘wut?’) and he said ‘nothing’. Well... idk but im assuming, WUTS WITH THAT??? playing my hair and getting my attention then nothing. There’s probably something there bro. Like i know those gestures, pinching my arms out of nowhere, getting my attention out of nowhere, idk maaaan i hate assuming does he likes me (ooh the idea just creeps me, but not in a bad way)...

well, there’s this weird thing about me, where when it comes to boys... if i feel like they seem amazed or akjfajkshfakjshfaf-attracted?? or having a crush on me, im just... don’t want to. interact. with. them. Well when you like someone, you want to talk to them, and here i am, closing the possibilities of that happening xD SNOB THEM, SNOB IS LIFE xD gahd but im curious really... even when it is ‘like’ to be friends because idk just friends, if my friends are not friends with that person and like creating a new bridge of friends, its difficult. Its tiring to handle new people who you don’t know how they act xD so yea... that’s that

Then when i got home, gahd I AM FULLY AWARE THE WHOLE DAY THAT IT IS THEIR BIRTHDAY AND I just did not greeted them WHEN EVERYONE IN CLASS ARE SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOL like play it cool play it cool just ignore and poof my brain just said

brain: greet them happy birthday me: if i do that, i’m responsible for responding after that... like chat them out of the blue brain: cuz its their birthday, u have a reason me: i hate u brain: well u know wut happens when u do nothing, nothing happens, try it me: y u do dis brain: practice wut u preach gurl

and here we are, i greeted GUY A happy birthday. And he said thanks and a follow up ‘u were cute earlier’. And just played it cool, laughed over it and told him to enjoy the day cuz its his day. Then he replied ‘u never chatted me before and we’ve been blockmates most of the time so’ and i told him cuz its his birthday and we’re at the pinnacle of our college life. I was too honest, but nothing to say, I’m really curious bout the dude’s response... like is he sincere? Like wuts with the random gestures? then i told him he was hard to approach (so i guess i close the door for that back then) then he replied ‘cuz i’m an introvert so...’ then i said ‘oh haha’.... no reply... DID I OFFEND HIM???????? i didn’t meant it liek its not bad to be an introvert xD im kinda a bit of introvert, but ya hyperactive when u get to know me ;_; so that happened

NEXT GUY B, well............ my friend likes him xD so when she tells something about him, i get to listen to all about him xD and yea he sounds dreamy. I don’t go close with someone’s crush cuz bruh i am aware of someone’s POV lol so yea... i dont want to cause confusion ._. i never interacted with him so...

but here’s the thing, i talked to him once... i was early for a block dance practice cuz there’s a punishment when u late (treat the whole class water, water was gold back then), and he came next... just the two of us xD and i just acted myself. IDK Y BUT WHEN I’M WITH ONE-ON-ONE WITH SOMEONE, I’M JUST ME... BUT IF THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WHOM I KNOW, I’M just gonna huddle with the people i just know.

so i had that interaction with him, he was funny lol cuz he also look snobbish, GUY A and B are friends... runs within their group i guess?? but that was the last proper conversation alone hehe

after that... there were gestures xD he moved my bag away from the sun (which i kent find my bag where it was??), he attempted to make a conversation (but i snobbed him off... cuz that’s was when my friend liked him). I may forget other happenings... I remember we attended bible study (our prof brought his youth to class and invited the class who wanted to) and there we are listening to word of God, then when it was time to pray for everyone who attended to accept the salvation they have shared... THE AC WAS SO COLD and my hands really got easily cold, and he was opposite of me... so I said ‘sorry, my hands are really cold’... idk y, but i wanted my friend to be on my seat, so she gets to hold his hand... then he held my cold freezing hand and said ‘i’ll get them warm’... my heart... skipped a beat xD i feel so guilty in front of God and my friend but that’s where it really... really scared me, for feeling like this. Then for the general assembly (GA) for the whole college, we’re suppose to perform and one of it is dancing... he asked me to be his partner, when my friend was not there and in front of the other people practicing. Well, i was thrilled a bit (ugh the guilty pang), but i know the whole group were expecting him and my friend were partners... plus i was practicing with someone else already. Idk y my friend backout the dance and my partner wanted to pair with someone else with the audience???? so yea... i guess i had to say yes... i don’t know how to tell my friend, but i tried my best to act uninterested... but i guess it shows a bit?? i never danced with him during practice, while others are practicing cuz they’re couples in reality... and its a slow dance haha u can do anything u want, y practice right??

Before the performance, we were telling each other the steps lol because yea we never practiced xD and i told him ‘okay, you can hold my waist and twirl me once, but i’ll also do that too to you okay???’ and he just laughed and weird out i guess and said ‘okay?’... seriously, I feel liek i shouldn’t be being like this, but because of that one time talking to him for the first time back then, i want him to feel that old atmosphere, that this is me... the playful me... the not snobbish me...

And during the performance, we were the only one SPINNING, LIKE EVERYONE WERE REALLY DANCING SLOW... and we just danced merrily lol (we... didn’t really practiced and it shows lol) and gosh... i didn’t know he was that tall... i have a thing for tall human beings (curse u kpop for raising my standards) he looked manly, when he leads me... i just have to follow wherever he takes me. It was wow... i was laughing the whole time, laughing at his face, his smiling face, up close to his smiling face... and when he twirled me, i looked at my friend and her partner (she joined last minutes idk y but at least she there, she a great dancer so I was thinking Y DID U LEAVE, U WERE SUPPOSE THE ONE DANCING HERE) well... they were all really in slow dance mode. Now it was my turn to take his waist HAHAHAHAHA seriously to break the tension, to break something that i am feeling inside, that this is just a friendly dance. I remember looking down and notice how long his feet was haha... deng it im falling hard from the dance lol then when the dance ends, all the boys give paper roses to the ladies, and WELL THAT ROSE WAS ON HIS MOUTH THE WHOLE DANCE, probably the stem is wet from (my gahd). So i just accepted it lol and i attempted to return it to him after he was done doing the male group dance. I’m glad that he said that i keep it :)

but the sad thing was, my camera, which was suppose to film the whole performance, went low batt... and when it dies while videoing, the whole video wont be saved unless u stop it. I cried after knowing that, because it was the last GA dance because we gonna graduate this school year... also knowing that, all that dance... will be just a memory. I can see how my friend didn’t seem to care about me crying for reason 1, she... must be jealous for dancing with her crush... gahd im so guilty but i just wept... sad and all and let them all head home, cuz they were using my dad’s classroom (yup he a professor at my university). it was special for me :> also when the practice was happening, he wanted to dance with me but i said no while videoing the performance... but i forgot to press record -_- really meant to be a memory ugh

where was I?? GUY B was also his birthday today, so I greeted him at chat ‘happy chinese new year!!’ cuz i always assumed that feb. 19 is chinese new year IDK Y but ever since i was a kid, so yea. Before that, we drank milk tea with him yesterday and yea they said it was his birthday the next day so i told him about that info. He replied ‘u really pushing that event haha thanks (nickname) huehue’ then i said ‘welcome’. hoping to end the conversation fast cuz scared... of this guilty feeling from back then. My friend also likes someone else nao, but yeaa who knows, she liked GUY B for so long, it don’t just fade that fast... Then he replied ‘where’s my rice cake then?’, then i just joked him that we didn’t have any cuz only i know within the family that its chinese new year today lol (im so downtown cornykillme). Then he replied ‘You’re the only one who greeted me this way today hahahahaha’... me, being an overthinker, remembering my friend and her pure feelings back then and me shielding wutever feeling i may have for him, replied:

erase erase erase happy birthday!

and he replied ‘okok. haha. thanks’ big happy face emoji :) me: big smiling face emoji :D

i feel so ordinary after that... he probably replied everyone with the same thank you when they greet him...

I... in my mind, i don’t want me to be that someone who greeted him weirdly in his birthday, that makes me notable among the people who greeted him today... I am not dense to his actions back then, I had to act that I was dense and don’t care... But I am seriously affected with him being gentleman... Like one time, I was just walking while typing on ma phone and not watching my way... but he was also walking along with us, and he pushed me cuz I was about to hit the pole/column... I dont really care if I get hit, my friends would probably let it happen and laugh about it and i laugh about it too cuz not a lot of people hit themselves on a pole because of ignorance. But really... I appreciate that haha dem it... I also remember that one time, I was taking a picture of the male dance group they were making a parody of, so I was standing on the arm chairs, and balancing myself. Its dangerous I know, BUT I CAN GET A PROPER ANGLE FROM THERE and my friend is busy but also on the same room. So i almost got unbalanced trying to get that perfect angle, and wow he really moved fast and held the arm chair in place... fudge... it hurts feeling this way...

I can’t tell my friends how I feel... cuz, i feel illegal wutever I am feeling for him... I remember when he appreciated my drawings... how he saves me from obstructions lol how does he do it???? im fine with getting hurt, but thanks man. If ever, he feels something for me and tells me (haha i play the scenario most of the time when im bored thinking of other stuff), I’ll reject him... cuz my friend likes him. But nao... it’s different. My friend doesn’t like him anymore but... still... I know the right way is to reject him. It hurts but... I guess no matter wut I do, he will be just a memory haha...

#hello its just me confused and all

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softviking · 6 years

Text

Ramblings and Personal stuff i carry around for a while now.

So hi. :) This will be a rather personal and potential long post so i will put this under the Read More stuff. Mainly for the very few people who happen to follow me for whatever reason and think “who the hell is that and why should i care.” You dont, i somehow feel like my Tumblr blog is some kind of safe spot...i hate the word but it is true. I dont do too much here on Tumblr, less now because most of my shows and stuff is on hiatus or so...but i feel surprisingly calm and secure when im on tumblr. It feels like i can write stuff down in my blog and get it out of my system...thats the main reason i will write this now. So for those who dont care, this pretty much is the end of a pointless looking Post but actually just the beginning. XD

Either way, have a good day, night, week, month, rest of the year all. Life is hard but you can make it, i believe in you.:)

Well here we go then for me and maybe a few people who are interested in what this weirdo has to say.

The year 2018 has been a really heavy year with a lot of things that happened. Mainly in my life we had two deaths, my uncle and my grandma. My uncles death was more of a shock, grandma dying was more a relief for all. My parents who were day and night there for her in the last difficult few months, relief for her because she is in no pain anymore...it was sad and everybody cried but we knew it was for the best. But before that happened, two good things happened in our life two. First my niece was born...and i cant even find the words to say how much i love this girl and how much laughter and life she brought in our already chaotic family. I never thought i would adore a baby that much. More than that it helped me realise that I AM NOT WORTHLESS. Its probably my biggest flaw, the mindset of thinking that im just a waste of space, that im not good enough no matter how often someone tells me that opposite. I hate that i cant shake this god damn mindset off, that it keeps coming back with every tiny mistake or every little thing i dont do perfect. Seeing how my brother and sister in law, how my family trust me with this tiny little being...helps me a lot. Seeing how this baby is not afraid of me, how she trusts me and how i can make her smile...thats something i never thought could happen to me.

Anyway...second good thing was that my brother got married. Dont know if i wrote this down here but when he first told us about this girl from Albania, we were a bit worried. He is a bit of a simple mind who often does things just out of spite. He didnt made it too easy to trust this whole thing, getting married after just 11 months of knowing, having spent most of their time together online...it causes us a few gray hair. But after having met her a few times and her now staying here for a few months, the girl is family. She is smart, friendly, helps a lot and is in general a really nice person. We get along well. So we have two new family members who will celebrate their first christmas in our family...a good thing.

Here is the thing...There was a lot going on here and there, small and bigger things that made me look at my life. And i realized that while im happy...i want more. Specificly i realized that i want to “socialise” more. I wanna met people, build friendships...find someone to love. For the longest time i was looking for excuses...but i realized those excuses were just because im afraid. Afraid of what could happen...which i realize now isnt as dark as i imagine. The worst that can happen is that people reject me...woho, big deal. Im sure there are a lot of people on this planet who dont like me...its not the end of the world. So i wanna put myself out there more and maybe here...interact more with the Shippers and stuff around here. Its something i didnt do for two reasons mainly...

One: I think im boring and have nothing to say, that all i might have to say is dumb and a waste of time and just bothers people. Getting rid of this mindset is a hard thing, but i will work on it. Number Two...sounds weird but...im a guy. I know Tumblr isnt some man hating place, no matter how often it might look like it. Thats not the case, i know the place has its bad apples but its not as bad as people want to make it out. It has less to do with the people around here and more...yeah im a smartass here, more to do with society. I sometimes feel like as a guy i shouldnt be part of a shipping community, i shouldnt participate in fandoms with mostly women or transgender people or so. Thats completely on me of course...but i dont really know why. Its probably more annoying than anything because its literally the dumbest reason for not doing something that exists. I shouldnt feel like i have no right to talk to other shippers, to squeel when my ships have cute scenes, to cry when the angst is too much or a fanfiction is emotionally so strong that i have tears in my eyes or laugh out loud. Its nothing wrong with being a guy and shipping stuff or with being emotional...hell i just got tears in my eyes when i wrote the part up there about my niece. Its a weird, eye rolling, thinking im probably the dumbest person in the world reason...i know that. And i will get rid of this mindset in my head...if i have to fight and scratch, bark and bite to be a tall guy who cries and ships cute couples, who is soft as a teddy bear and easily to get to laugh...then i will do that. I wanna ship stuff, i wanna be a fanboy, i wanna squeel about two fictional characters being all cute with each other...and i want to do that with others no matter the gender. So now that i have put this out...the last point and the one im currently most scared about. Remember the whole “I wanna put myself out there more” thing? Yeah that is scary. Since i want to become a writer, make money with writing, get many people to enjoy my books etc...i decided to start with making a facebook account. And not just some secret thing or so, no i wanna do it like most people do. Pictures, talking, sharing who i am, what i like and so on. Thats really scary even to think about it, because of the incredible pressure i feel while thinking im just not good enough. But i will do it, i will put myself out there...hoping i can be cheeky and funny...because thats what i am...well at least more so while writing in forums etc than in person. I hope that i can get the attention of people, not only to socialise and make friends...also to sell my book(s)...yeah money rules the world. I want to make money that is true, but i also want to matter you know? I want to sit there and be one day proud because i know that people really enjoyed reading my storys, the adventures i write, the dangers the characters i created experienced, i want people to laugh about stuff those characters say and do, hate the villians...or love them, i want to know that i reached people with my own hands...that i was good enough. This part didnt go into the direction i hoped, but anyway. To close this off there is one other thing. Dont know if it sounds creepy or so...but i already put it all out there, whoever is around now can not be scared away...hell i probably just write this for myself so it doesnt really matter. Anyway...while getting a good look at the stuff Facebook has going...i found also something...the Girl i had a crush on for all my school years. And as i realize now, the girl i still have a huge crush on. I never dared to talk to girls, not in school or 7 years ago when my weight was double what it is now and i had no idea what to do with life. Yeah i throw this out now too...i never had a girlfriend. Im way...way past 18 years and never even held hands with a girl in a romantic way. Never really thought anybody would care for me that way...but i digress i think. Anyway, the girl is still as beautiful as i remember and it gives me a surprising confidence that she doesnt seem to be married and all that. So maybe there is also Romance in my way...but i dont want to hope too much. For all i know she doesnt even remember me, i didnt particular made a impression on anybody. I mostly watched her from far away in school...yeah i know it sounds creepy as hell but i was really shy and unsure. A part of me thinks that this is my second chance, that this might be how it was supposed to go...but thats more coming from the side that watches too much romance movies and read too many of you peoples great fanfiction in which the same characters fall in love and meet in thousands of different ways. Either way, i just want to know for now if there could be chance or just if she is happy...maybe it turns out it was just a childhood crush i never gave the time to overcome...maybe its more...i dont know. But i know that im willing to find out...something a year ago i wouldnt had dared to even think. So that pretty much sums up the past year and my mindset, what goes on in my little head. If anybody reads this...im sorry for wasting your time or thank you for listening, it helped me get this stuff off my chest. Which helps me focus and move forward. Anyway, thank you very much and like i said before...you got this, you will get through rough times and come out strong...i believe in you.

#Just the long ramblings #of a weirdo #i feel really light now #maybe i should start a diary #or journal #but my handwriting sucks and nobody could read it #which would be a good thing #but not when i cant read the god damn pages too #wait #im lost in the tags XD #Ramblings

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