#im still learning new things about adhd and i have it lol

[sapphicc-ace]

💗About me!💗

MY DM NOTIFICATIONS DONT WORK USUALLY AND ITS ANNOYING IM NOT IGNORING YOU AAAA

They/she, sapphic

Pretty self explanatory. I'm still kinds figuring out my gender identity but for now I'm a femby, feminine leaning non binary person. If you don't respect that move along. I dont at all mind being referred to femininely but a they once in a while might be nice, still figuring things out yknow? And when it comes to the next two topics, as the name implies I'm very sapphic, meaning I'm not rlly into the masc side of things. But all gendered peoples are welcome here and I'd love to be friends with anyone!! Also I have a lot of social anxiety so forgive me for being stupid fhfhrjf

Aromantic...maybe demi?

I think im aromantic. I'm not actively looking for a serious relationship, but who knows maybe thatll change one day. Just keep it in mind when you dm me im not really looking for a relationship, pls dont get your hopes up. However, I love being flirty and making people happy and flustered with complimentsand teasing😋 I'm open to queerplatonic/poly stuff and would love to be an encourager to any fem feedees, or just make new friends! So feel free to reach out as long as you respect my boundaries (and ofc I'll respect yours, be sure to tell me them so I know!!)

If I think you're cool and am comfortable with you and you live in or near new york...👀

A graysexual feedist?

Yes, asexuality is a spectrum, and in truth I think i reside more on the lines of graysexual. For some, asexuality means not being sexual whatsoever. For others, like me, you can still experience stuff like arousel, without the need for sex itself. I personally am put off by sex organs of all kinds. Sex itself is physically pleasurable, but conceptually does nothing for me. Tldr, I only get off on feedism, my love for feedism is an aesthetic fixation consciously, while my body gets horny about it.

And as the name implies I loooove soft feedism! Casually encouraging someone to overeat, praising and teasing their softness, cute shit gets me so bad. I do enjoy some more hard stuff too, but usually only if my partner is into it. I naturally lean more soft core.

Feedism topics i love:

-Button pops

-Gluttony🥴😵‍💫 🥰(especially the "helpless" style of gluttony)

-Tight clothes

-Jiggles

-Burps (in particular lil borps from being too stuffed)

-General soft feeder-feedee stuff

-Bloating

-Before/after, seeing progress, that kinda thing

-General chubby love especially from non feedist sources, call me a dork but that pureness makes me heart sing🥺

Stuff I'm neutral on (can be cute in the right scenerio):

-Pet play

-Belly noises

-Slob

-"mommy" type stuff

Things I am NOT interested in however:

-Graphic stuff about genitals/holes. Knowing youre super aroused can add to it but just...no holes pls

-Blueberry stuff

-Vore

-death feedism/health issues

-Inflation

-Abusive situations

-Any bodily fluid or substance that comes out of you lol

(BTW anythibg on here that's halfway is like neutral, like I won't be sad over a lack of it but I like it!)

Neurodivergent

ADHD, undiagnosed autistic, probably an anxiety disorder, yeah I'm kind of a mess

Other interests:

-Videogames, generally big on Nintendo stuff and play plenty of steam games. Not really into super competitive stuff, realism or most shooters, but some big names are Kirby, Smash Ult, TF2, Pokémon, Celeste, Animal Crossing, and I'm a huge fan of many roguelikes like Binding of Isaac.

-Animals: pls send me cute photos of your cat🥺

-Magic the Gathering (filthy commander player who hasn't bothered learning the meta for other formats)

-Failed artist but I love seeing other works!

-Foodie (no honestly outside of kink I'm a huge slut for good food, but I'm as picky as a 5 year old so it's a struggle lol)

-Weird horror stuff, warning I WILL tell you my analog horror theories

-Animated shows like adventure time

-stupid movies, I will quote some bad movie I havnt seen in years because it suck with me for no reason

That's pretty much everything I think is important to know about me. I'll edit later if things change. Hope you have a good day full of delicious foods! (Or full of adorable fatties if you're an fa!)💗

I am both of these btw spiritually (credit: punkitt)

[oddishfeeling]

i was working on my math class all day yesterday. im talking hours and hours of lectures and problems and practice exams. and i have such a complex about math. not only was it so difficult the last time i did it but it's one of the only real obstacles to me finishing this degree!!! and i am so over undergrad 😭

the exam was already late and the assignments were also late lol and in the very recent past i would have quit by now lol but something clicked like i saw the matrix for a second and i was like....

omg this is the most intimidating and scary thing that im up against right now. also struggling with a recent ADHD diagnosis and still trying to understand and remember that this is the context that im learning it, working in, having my period in lol is also happening in the wider context of the astrological weather!!!

this new moon in aquarius is potent and has been surprisingly sobering for me... it just became clear as day that i have to run head first into this to make it out of the other side if i want something new for myself.

on top of that, i really want to get better at budgeting and understanding my money. i don't make a ton by any means but i want it to work more for me and i want to get the most out of it lol

i was thinking my revelations would be more creative leaning or "fun" or something but so far they have been so practical lol which is still nice n still things i want to see happen but life can be funny sometimes lol ive been going on and on about wanting to write more and make and create more but i never thought to approach it practically lol

anyways, i would have gotten a B on that test if I had turned it in on time. and that's the best grade i've ever gotten on a math exam lol

[shiny-miltank]

why hello old friends, you’ve found me once again (it wasn’t a secret really lol). to start off myello. sorry for disappearing off the Mewcrew blog. It gets all kinda wordy so it’s under a readmore.

Long story short I suffered from a mental Illinois(tm) spiral of depression, work exhaustion, undiagnosed/untreated adhd and big time imposter syndrome + burnout. Zoom into today I’ve been in therapy for my big time sads with some new perspectives and management, got some adhd meds, my job quit on me (long story) so now I’m slinging it freelance artist style and seeing how it goes, and back with family cause living alone was expensive and very Not Good for my brain it turned out. Still working on new changes and learning about the anxious smorgasbord up in the head.

Now there’s still no guarantee? That Mewcrew stuff is going to come back in full force like it did. Im still trying to like it again cause I do miss them. It took a long time and effort just to draw them for the wips I got going in the bg after like the three years leaving. Tbh the blog became something I didn’t want and instead of casual, low effort, funny not serious Just Roomates on misadventures in a pink void comic it became long hours of planning and plotting and rendering and feeling it wasn’t enough with my nasty soup of brain ick continuing to make me feel bad for not keeping up with a constant pace and comparing my work to the artists around me (again it was my brain funguses making reality hard-no one else. The artists around me back then were legit the nicest peeps around-still are). I’m also still really nervous and anxious around big communities that seemed to have sprung up HELLO ALL OF YOU LOL. I remember when it was just three of us xD And I still have to sit with my imposter syndrome and understanding I have things to offer that people do want to see and to stop anxieties from comparing my work to others.

So for now if I am posting Mewcrew stuff it’s mostly going to be here on my main from now on and not an individual blog (me figuring it’s just a lot of effort to keep up with so many blogs and logins, I think any new project or direction I go is just gonna be slapped on my main from now on. The less effort the better for my energy.). It’ll be sporadic and in a much different direction that was more akin to what I wanted it to be and much more casual comedy (or my flat sense of humor-I’ll laugh at knock knock jokes fr) slice of life with very little, even parody “plot”. And most of it until im comfortable with releasing complete mewcrew/mewtwo content will be on my patreon with again spurts of it here on tumblr and on my other socials. And if any of you come into my inbox saying I’m paywalling my own content AGAIN I will come for your kneecaps no joke you are NOT entitled to my work ESPECIALLY when this is now my main form of income. Anything on my patreon is /extra/ and early works and for peeps who choose to/want to and or capable of supporting me. That was literally the final straw that made me take a step out way back then: there’s still somebody behind the screen please remember that. This is just for my anxieties and getting comfortable with my characters again at a slow pace👍 I do miss everyone I use to interact with and want to be part of the bigger community here that’s sprouted up. Just gotta walk slowly with my social anxiety and other things first.

Thanks for reading and choosing to stick around if you do!

[swimmingclass1978]

About me

- so my name is Ariel 😃

-a hellenic pagan but its new so let me be, no convering christians allowed

-slytherin/ravenclaw but if i like you then im giving kinda griffindor energy? Tho i get tired easily and my social battery is lasting max of an hour

-I'm fine with any pronouns really but mostly he/she, they is also great but she has a special place in my heart even tho i hate it sometimes and he makes me want to scream and giggle

-so im unlabeled and ace but i don't think i would date amab people. Its nothing personal just my preference but it also depends. (Idk why i put it here its kind of personal need for me to say)

-my favourite colour is green, but like deep green or like dead green not neon green and i also love deep red and black

-my natice language is polish but i also speak english tho its not as good as i wish it would be

-im obsessed with collecting little animal figures/plushies and giving them names????

-i love reading and all the crafty things like painting, drawing and diy and id love to learn book binding one day even if my printer doesn't agree with me

-im also a poet and a writer so i suffer from creativity more times then id like to but i unfortunatelly love it all too much 😔 i don't publish my poems bc i fear they are not very good but i wish to be a published book author one day

-if you are a hater or use any of these tags: anti <character/ship name> or pro <character/ship name> or you are a canon fanatic who can't stand people having fun then dni bcz i dont want any of your toxic bs on my blog or in my dms/asks thank you very much

- if you want to share you homo/transphobic bs then get out and never come back

-adhd

-im a sucker for good no voldy hogwarts jegulus aus tbh, amd anything that contains slytherin skittles or black brothers/sisters, i love them

Fandoms:

-marauders

-greek mythology

- percy jackson

-good omens, i love them but considering things that have been happening then i dont think we will be getting seson 3 anytime soon :(((

-the poppy war thrilogy (started reading age 9 and kinda reggret it but happily it didn't caused me as much of my mental health as i thought) (dont repeat my mistake tho)

- bsd but i cant remember all the names yet I know whats going on so its fine

Kins: Regulus; Pandora; sometimes Barty?

Im happily married to jegulus twilight au with reg as bella that got abandoned in february 2024 and to a demon james/human regulus au that is still ongoing but id let it tear me appart and i would apologise to the author( im talkimg about The Devil Tastes Devine by TheBiButterfly on ao3 (it has me in a chokehold tbh))

Ships: jeggy, wolfstar, dorlene, pandlily, marlily, emmary, rosekiller, bartylus, pancas, marylane, lilylane, any marauder lesbians, nobleflower, quillkiller, teddromeda, poppy x minnie (i forgot their ship name), evanreg, jarty, kinda rosekiller + lily, rosestarkillerchaser(any variant of them really), moonwater, percybeth(is that their ship name?), solangelo, (shin)soukoku, any legal lesbian ship thb, i also liked jily in the past but the toxic shippers ruined it for me :( i still love her tho thats my wifey

My ao3 fanfic:

there is a light, i feel it in me: WIP, black brothers angst, jegulus, wolfstar +more, trauma healing, angst/fluff, everything pandora and barty are doing is great i do not make the rules

Face reveal:

Im also a proud owner of this justin biber ahh haircut I thought it was a wonderfull idea few months back and i do feel the best in my skin i've ever felt since my dysphoria went almost 2lvl down but no one want to talk to me at school now i think its not very nice of them tbh im a great person sometimes

Thats all lol have a good time or whatever

[officialauthorofanotherworld]

ROAW Stuff - Weekly Writing Post #1 (spoilers)

Hello!

Since this is just the first real post i've made that isn't an introduction, I won't talk about any lore stuff this time. The reason im doing weekly is because having a schedule feels better than doing it randomly, and also because i didnt know what to title this post. Maybe I will do it randomly anyway, we'll see. It just depends.

For future context, the series title is Record of Another World, abbreviated as ROAW. The "collection" title (encompassing the "main" series) is Party of Three. The first book will likely also be called Party of Three. idk if that makes sense.

So I suppose like how you have A Song of Ice and Fire - Game of Thrones, or A Song of Ice and Fire - A Tale of Dunk and Egg, you have Record of Another World - Book 1, Party of Three, Party of Three(?) idk lol

In any case, in this post I wanted to go over who the people in my book are in a bit more detail, as that feels like an appropriate first "real" post, to me.

Taka

Starting off with our main POV, we have Taka. When he was born, his parents didn't want to deal with the burden of a child, so they gave him up to a lizardfolk who had been a part of their party for a very long time. This lizardfolk, named Dane, became Taka's adoptive parent. At the beginning of book 1, Taka has just turned fifteen, the age of majority in Kommodia (and the age one is allowed to register as an adventurer) and wants to experience the world for himself.

He may have seen a lot of the world traveling on Dane's ship (Dane is a captain with his very own port, and at a certain point became responsible for the Advent Route, which is the sea path from ports to adventurer-centric towns.) but he wants to see it on his own two legs, of his own volition. He wants to explore, and meet new people, try new things. He wants to live, and satisfy the intense wanderlust he'd harbored for so long.

Even still, he is very young at fifteen, and has a lot of anxiety and worries.

Taka is neurodivergent, like most people in my book are in some way. He has ADHD and Autism.

Soon enough, Taka finds himself wrapped up in a world of adventure, surrounded by people he never thought he'd meet, friends with people he never could have possibly thought he'd befriend.

Beriyl

Next up is Beriyl! He is a half-elf who hails from a very prestigious noble family. While he can come off as abrasive and even incendiary at times, he has his moments of genuine caring and warmth. He connects with Taka on a very deep level, I think.

Beriyl is probably one of my favorites to write because he's a know-it-all, he possesses a very large vocabulary and REALLY wants to show it off. He's spent so much time cooped up reading, his brain is a literal vault of random tidbits and facts. He is a textbook bookworm, and he *will *make sure you know it. He's very snarky and sarcastic and I find some of his exchanges with Taka really funny. Their dynamic, although it softens with time, is one of my favorite things ever. Not unlike Taka, I believe Beriyl also has Autism.

Arthur

Last of team Lucky Seven, Arthur.

When we first meet him, he's incredibly depressed, giving off this awful vibe of a man who has all but given up. He hasn't slept in days, probably hasn't eaten or drank much either. His eyes dark pits of horrible despair, but gradually he learns to live again, to love and forgive himself.

The rest is a bit spoiler-y, revealed within the first half of the book. I will be spoiler marking it, but just so you all know! (The stuff at the end about Rend is never revealed, so that counts as lore i guess)

Anyway, pretty big spoilers actually, and i cant hide them because tumblr doesnt have a spoiler text feature for some reason, and i cant figure it out with html or anything. All of this is revealed at roughly 55% through the book or so, so i guess it is pretty massive spoilers. Don't read the stuff about Arthur, skip down to the Advent Route if you don't want to be spoiled on Arthur's backstory and my read on his mental state.

Arthur is a sufferer of extreme PTSD, he likely has DID. When he tells Taka and Beriyl of his past, of how he felt when his friend and family died, when his town was razed to the ground, I believe it's really hard for him to really stay "present". I think he probably suffers from an extreme emotional block, he feels very absent and er, numb, I think is the right word. When he was a mercenary, I don't imagine he was truly himself. I do think he created a separate persona who didn't think or feel just so he could get through it. At that point I think he was just biding his time until he died, only truly happy when he was able to do things that reminded him of his parents like train or cook. Yet, we see that when he meets Taka and Beriyl, he starts to look better. He starts to sleep, to eat. He makes Taka and Beriyl his life's goal, his one true priority. He becomes unhealthily co-dependent on their safety and existence, so I think that reflects in how overwhelmingly overprotective he is, how quick he is to justify violence in the sake of defending Taka and Beriyl. Without them, he never would have had the "color" restored to his world. He'd still be wandering in a storm without a light. Taka and Beriyl are that light-- without them, he would be dead, most likely.||

Hell. He says it himself: how he tells them he'd become an adventurer to die helping someone, so he'd have an excuse for Rend in the afterlife.

(little does he know, Rend died young enough, and as a person who was isekaied to Tamalnh without his memories from Earth, the Gods allowed him to reincarnate again. He is the Spear Warrior that Taka asks for directions to the guild in Chapter 1.) I will elaborate more on how this works, how the afterlife and things like that work, and summoning and blablabla, all will be explained in a future post.

some minor adjustments 8-26-24. Rend cannot be the Spear Warrior, iirc Arthur was a merc for about 10-15 years, from 18-26? i think? Smth like that, anyway, that means Spear Warrior would have had to have been born the instant Rend died, so... it makes more sense to believe he isn't the Spear Warrior, but someone else. Arthur will probably meet him (whoever rend reincarnated into) towards the end of his (arthur's) life.

Now, about the Advent Route...

The Advent Route, to be better explained, sort of works like this.

On Kommodia, the most popular starting town at present is Leln, a town named after the legendary hero who felled a Dark God several thousand years prior.

Each port runs along a prescribed route and anchors on the coastline. From the coast, adventurers are taken via carriage to the town of their choosing.

Simply put, the Advent Route is a searoute chosen specifically to maximize safety and efficiency, seeing all those who'd wish to become adventurers to their destinations with relative safety, barring extreme circumstance. It is conducted at a time of year (the book starts as summer ends.) where the water in the sea becomes cold enough that sea monsters like Krakens and such go into a state of hibernation.

I'll do a follow-up post talking about the people Lucky Seven meet at the end of ch1 and their incredibly important role in the overarching story, also with spoiler tags soon. I will also elaborate on the afterlife/reincarnation process and what that really means, how people were summoned from another world, their role, and about what a "starting town" actually means.

[draxumain]

Hello! I was wondering if I could have a demon slayer match up please?

I'm 18, so only characters 18 and up please!

I'm nonbinary

Two of my favorite characters are Akaza and Rengoku (ironic Ik lol)

I don't care about the gender of the match up, so go wild!

Onto the way I look/am I guess!

I have short brown hair and brown eyes. I wear glasses. I'm plus sized and I tend to wear clothes that are more comfy/practical then trendy but I do still like to wear cute stuff, I have two tattoos at the moment and plan on getting more.

My personality is just a clusterfuck of my mental illnesses and whatever I'm hyperfixated on at that point. It's hard to pin point really.. but I think I'm empathetic, I do tend to get angry very easily, I get anxious pretty often to. I have a phobia of bugs to the point of tactile hallucinations (feeling things that aren't there, like bugs crawling on me). I get discouraged easily, and don't have much confidence in myself and I'm afraid of messing things up alot.

I love dancing and drawing but have been in a mental/creative block for both for quite awhile and it sucks

I love food (especially strawberries!), music, plushies and my comfort shows (bluey (shut up), Steven universe and the owl house)

I hate loud, especially sudden, noises, being hot (I overheat very easy), and people telling me what to do (not in a "I'm better then you" way in a "well I WAS gonna do that thing but now I don't want to and physically can't" way)

I also have ADHD inattentive type, depression, and anxiety (and quite possibly some other undiagnosed things too) if that helps!

Thank you for reading this and please take your time, there's no rush! (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)✿

Hi anon! Thanks for requesting I hope you're doing well <3 Heres your matchup! Apologies it's not proofread 🙇🏾‍♀️

For your match up im paring you up with...

Yushiro Yamamoto

Yushiro will 100% be your #1 supporter and fan, no matter what is is you need or want no matter you've done for life in general or just today, he will attend your needs and fully reach your expectations and even beyond.

This man is your hype man! He'll elevate you and praise you every second of the day. It's your insecurities battling against him on the daily, your insecurities are his biggest enemy.

He's so persistent in showing you how much he adores you as sees you as a deity, he'll show his affection in every way shape and form just so it'll get drilled into your head.

Poems, compliments, acts of service, physical touch, making food for you he'll do anything to make sure you know how much he loves you.

To him you'll always be a beaming light within a crowd, he worships the ground you walk on; every part, inch and hair on you is utter perfection your being alone is the reason he thinks god exists, only a deity could carve such a perfect beauty.

Yushiro loves hearing about your new hyperfixations, well to be honest he loves all of you so truly he does not care how much they change. Talk about it all you want, show off cool stuff you made and found about the topic he will listen to every word and remember it all like his life depends on it. Not a single word of yours will be forgotten. Just so, later on he can talk proudly about the topic and you praise him for it.

He wants nothing more then your love and approval, please give it to him.

Your relationship is basically you being expensive fine China and he's a big ol' bubble wrap, wrapping you up again and again.

He's on his toes around you, literally he's on his toes. He doesn't necessarily have a natural eof being quiet however, nor is he loud he's just easy to voice his very... VERY harsh opnions, announce himself loudly when he sees you and can get quite loud when excited and wants to show you something.

So when he learns you prefer it quiet, bros as quiet as a mouse.

It's actually a little scary at first, he'll just spawn next to you without sound and it scares the living shit out of you.

Just tell him and he'll continue to be quiet but in a not so creepy way by lightly knocking before entering the room and keeping his voice to a minimum.

Don't be afraid to tell him what you want, this man's life purpose is to attend to you knees he wants to be told what to do by you and do those things. He adores you and will bend over backwards just to see you happy.

Suddenly craving food? He'll buy you a whole restaurant, you've been eyeing a new plushy? He'll get you it + a bunch of different styled once with the same design concept.

He doesn't understand human entertainment so he doesn't seem to understand what's enjoyable about the human shows he likes but, he knows you like them so automatically he likes them and they're his favourite too, cause you're his favourite and he wants to be your favourite so, everything that's your favourite is  now his favourite.

You mentioned the shows you liked once, just saying it to say it and didn't think much of it but he took a mental note and binged watched it behind your back and FINISHED IT just so you guys can have something to talk about and relate too and, so you could be shocked and impressed he knew about it.

He pretends to be some huge fan and everything.

When you realise he's watched it, you get him to watch it with you again when you're in need of some comfort or just to watch it, you both come together entangled with each other in each others bodies under some blankets and plushies.

He can't help but think him deciding to watch the shows was his best idea ever.

100% worth it.

It's no doubt that no matter what, he'll always be there for you to support, cherish and love you. Until the end of times.

Her Lady's Notes:: I was heavily debating between him and Akaza now I've got the itch to write him so stay tuned for some Akaza Headcannons 🙊

──  ﹫ 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐘𝐒𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐌   ؛   𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗎𝗆𝖻𝗅𝗋

[filamints]

gordon: 1, 10, 14. tommy: 20, 48. benrey: 36

this is so so so fucking LONG IM SORRY i just got excited to talk so now i wont shut up. it will be readmore'd to save ur dash

gordon:

1) What does their bedroom look like? Like a shithole, mostly. All his life, its always been too cluttered with junk in a haphazard stack of piles. If he lives in one place too long, eventually every inch of wall space gets coatings of posters and papers and sticky notes. Its overwhelming visual stimulus.

Take his tendency for all those behaviors, and mix them with post-canon agoraphobia and depression, and the stacks of magazines and games get stacks of garbage on top. Door dashed takeout containers pile up, endless empty bottles of beer and bottom shelf vodka, bags get stacked in towers by the door for when he get brave enough to leave his apartment to sprint to the dumpsters (not nearly often enough).

The apartment he's currently is was only supposed to be short term, off site housing set up by Black Mesa before the new compound dorm/apartments were finished and he could move there. He at least started with a pretty clean apartment fresh from that move, so most of the current mess is honestly just nesting in depression trash now that his next move has been obliterated off the face of the earth. The only thing different about his bedroom vs the rest of the house is that's the room with the bed in it, a box spring and mattress directly on the floor, the frame leaning against a wall behind unpacked boxes, never assembled. Pull yourself together, man. (This will happen eventually at least)

vv More below because all of my answers are this long. vv

10) Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such? CHRIST hes got brain problems. He has had ADHD all of his life of course. Hes also has anxiety & depression, look at him. Hes aware of those at least. The one hes not aware of, at least preResCas, is bipolar disorder. ADHD was an easy diagnosis as a kid, visible from the outside. The anxiety & depression troughs are what made him seek out meds in college. But it can be hard to see the bipolar cycles from the inside, especially with the neat and easy depression diagnosis right there obscuring half of it. He just thinks every time he hits his unstoppable stride that hes 100% over his shit and hes gonna get better and hes fucking unkillable untouchable unstoppable.

And then he falls off a fucking cliff and he can look back and beat himself to shit that he should have known better, this happens every time and this time the hell is just gonna last forever as punishment. Repeat for a good decade of his life.

Post canon, add that agoraphobia mentioned before here, as well as a good dose of PTSD. Between being tracked by the military, every time hes seen the fucking sky for the duration of canon he will shortly have bullets or missiles raining down on him, and general paranoia that he is still a wanted man, 'going outside' is just too much. (He even states in canon that he has ptsd from the grenades and even soda cans look too similar and freak him out lol) I feel like he would also be very anxious about the dark after Black Mesa. He had been sleeping in random rooms still brightly lit, and the dark was always bad news with the most heavily damaged sections of the compound + he got his hand literally cut off in the dark. He has to go pussy mode and sleep with lights on or nightlights at least and he will beat himself up about being a child for it endlessly. Speaking of that incident again, grabbing or restraining his right arm will also send him into a meltdown. This is a fun fact that he will learn about only in the most embarrassing bedroom meltdown over toy handcuffs.

14) Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.) And on the non-mental end, theres the hand. Although reattached to his body, its still not perfect. Most days its not too bad, a bit slower and less sensitive. But sometimes it acts up, pins and needles, weird aches, grip strength weakness, a kind of lag in input that leaves him dropping things or breaking them. Particularly at night, it tends to hurt. Touching the skin around and on the reattachment scar really skeeves him out for a long while, the location of physical touch doesn't quite map with where his brain thinks it should be, like his nerve map is slightly to the left of where it all should be.

tommy:

20) Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them? Not an illness persay but it did take quite a while for him to get the autism diagnosis. A lot of the symptoms that stand out at weird in boychilds get glossed over in girlchild, not speaking is just 'being shy', the tiptoe walk is just 'high heels walking', etc. Especially as a girlchild in the foster care system. It wasn't until like, late middle school that was figured out when the social aspects and meltdowns made paying attention to the symptoms inevitable, looking back it was Very Obvious.

48) How do they express love? Certainly not verbally, lol. If we are going by the typical love language categories, its more on the 'quality time' side. He's the type to like parallel play type activities. There's also gifts, but its food gifts 90% of the time. Very good at memorizing people's preferred orders at any given restaurant or coffee place and will pick you up your favorite treat. :)

benrey:

36) What makes them feel guilty? Not gonna lie, he's very hard to make feel guilty on account that he doesn't view most of what he does as either wrong or at least not his fault. I think it takes up until the boss battle for him to even get he did something wrong and feel bad about it. Because it was unintended, there really wasn't any guilt for him. I think to make him feel guilt, whatever he does would have to have a very visible and understandable detriment to someone he cares about, and if you want him to feel guilty without telling him why he SHOULD be, his involvement better be obvious.

It seems funny, but i think he would have a lot more genuine guilt over something simple and cause/effect like knocking over and breaking a glass or eating someone else's food in the communal fridge as opposed to something more abstract, like someone getting hurt as a consequence of something else that he did but genuinely thought was harmless.

[reficu1]

Hellooo, could I get a matchup with a genshin character?

My online alias is Vivi, 19 and I'm pansexual with a lean towards women but guys are cool too (SPECIFICALLY pretty guys, not handsome, pretty guys)

I enjoy painting, drawing and writing. I only recently picked up painting but its starting to grow on me, I've been drawing every since I was 12 as a hobby and to go with it was writing. I have ADHD so my thoughts are reaaally messy and every sentence I write down in my brain Im already 10 sentences ahead lol. Writing is mostly what I do now these days, no exact story cuz i mostly write the technical details of the world i built in my mind. Worldbuilding is one of the things i love to do. I draw my ocs after i get a good thought of how they look and have painted a few paintings. (Got a few paintings on my wall, but a ton of drawings) Im learning the guitar cuz i want to write a song about EACH of my ocs, its a really strong urge. For dislikes, probably bugs and people who are the pick me kind of extrovert. Another thing i dislike is people who yell alot, but its kinda hypocritical since I raise my voice involuntarily when im excited Thankyou in advance, have a good time writing <3

I match up for you...

Yae Miko. It would all start with the fact that you were recruited to work with her publication. She sees well the prospects of new ideas and projects. Therefore, she is interested in everything in order to find something unique. For Miko, you have an extraordinary approach to your hobby and work. And with the fact that your thoughts run ahead of you and you are ready to follow them. Yae Miko would see you more often than other writers, listening to your ideas. Yes, it is really difficult to get close to her because of her sharp remarks and postirony, but still it is part of her personality. But she needs care for the last century, will be indulgent, as she is to you with her jokes.

[trashlie]

Hiii!

I read your post about i love yoo and i am so impresed by how smart you are that you see all of this details and all hidden symbols in this webtoon, like wow. Thats why i wanted to ask you what kind of books and movies do you like to watch? Do you have any books or authors that you think may helped you be so good at reading through characters mind and their body language so well? Sorry for any English mistakes im still learning :P

Nonny you are too kind, you flatter me, really! <3

Honestly - and this feels embarrassing to admit - I haven't really read books in a LONG time. I went from being a really voracious reader and writer to unchecked ADHD manifesting as depression really wrecking my interest in things and my focus/attention span. I'm slowly trying to get back into it! I finally got myself a library card so I can try digging back in! Part of how I got into webtoons at all is because it was much easier for me to plough my way through those, although funny enough, so many webtoons I read have NOTHING on the subtext present in I Love Yoo so.... lol. Sometimes you just need light reads, you know?

But really, I think a lot of how I read and view ILY came from the community itself. Webtoon.Theory set the bar and so many of the theories we as a community hold on to (The Chess Theory, what it means when characters' eyes are closed, the Yoshi theory/Rand was adopted into the Hirahara family) came from their own analyses and theories, and to be fair, I think a lot of how I now interpret ILY is based heavily in those formations. Would I ever have thought anything of what characters mean when their eyes are closed on my own? Frankly, I doubt it. I read a lot of theories! When I first got REALLY, REALLY deep into ILY, like on the this is on my mind 24/7 obsession level, I had a LOT of time on my hands. Thanks to a user on tumblr, I'd discovered the reddit and that there were deep theories about ILY! At that time I definitely had some thoughts of my own about Yui but I had only recently re-read it so I was till, yknow. Normal about it at the time.

But once I found the sub-reddit I dived in deep! I went through lots of old posts and read them and their comments, taking in theories and applying it to my own interpretations and held on to things I agreed with. I think once you have that kind of "base foundation" it's easy for you to start looking for things, too. I'm a particularly emotional reader, so I think I tune into emotions a LOT - often in lieu of other little details or notes. @youuuimeanmee writes a lot of analyses I wouldn't ordinarily think of myself - like I never considered applying Nol and Shinae's score in DDR to being a signal that he's always a step ahead of her, but when I read that I was like NO WAY THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!

Talking with the community is really what does it for me! A lot of the times when I get on here to throw together my big "thought dumps/reactions" whatever my posts about the new episodes are lol it's usually after I've been on reddit talking back and forth with people, sharing our ideas and merging them into something far more cohesive than my initial first reactions. I fill in the gaps of my own reactions - oh yeah this little detail I didn't pick up on, oh i interpreted that this way but I like your idea you might be on to something. Sometimes the sheer process of just talking about an episode for a few hours is like.... idk when you marinate meat - the process just brings things to the surface, helps you see things you missed or look at it a new way. And in that process, it means I'm reading and re-reading the episode multiple times. My initial first reaction NEVER has anything on my re-reads because now that you know what's coming you can focus on the other details, take in the expressions and the lighting and what is this body language meant to imply what does this expression look like?

But also - I mean it when I call it the ILY brainrot lmao like it is on my mind ALL the time! I'll be working and it's just there at the back of my mind, me mulling over things. (Lately I've been really fascinated by the way quimchee depicts really emotional moments for Nol by hiding his eyes. SO OFTEN when he is "breaking" we don't see his eyes, just his mouth, and something about that just really STRIKES me. How is it so much more emotional and impactful when we don't see his eyes?! idk but I'm obsessed with that detail lol)

Not to really sell myself out but lmao when I got REALLY deep into ILY and discovered all those theories and peoples' ideas and expectations I did like.... 2 more re-reads? lmaoooooo look I was holed up in bed after surgery with a LOT of time on my hands lol the first reread I did was me just keeping in mind the theories - especially the eyes closed theory - and paying attention to the details, to the body language, to all the things unsaid. You get this a LOT from Kousuke and Rand, I think! And taking these details in helped me reshape how I saw a lot of these characters! The second re-read I did was with emotional blinders - reading all these scenes with Nol and Shinae and with Kousuke and Shinae without any romantic implication and looking for what else it could glean about their characters and their dynamics. Something that confused me for some time was what the Kousuke and Nol face off early in ILY, when they all 3 went to dinner together and they were taking off their jackets meant. So many people wanted to apply a romantic lens to it but that never felt right, but at the time I just didn't understand what else it could be. But as we get to see more into Kousuke and we get glimpses at how deep his paranoia runs, the way he's been comparing himself to Nol - competing with him, to some extent - it starts to make more sense. Of course it never had anything to do with Shinae and instead everything to do with them and the bad blood between them, Kousuke always trying to undermine Nol at every opportunity and always frustrated when Nol defies expectations, etc etc.

I've lost track of how many times I've reread ILY but that's the other thing. Rereads, especially as you learn more in the present story, always help illuminate things! I remember doing a reread and picking up that there was something weird about how Alyssa reacted to Kousuke, showing more interest/concern in him, but once I was thinking about that, I noticed it was even weirder than I'd originally thought, with Yui bringing her up to Kousuke a couple times. As you pick up on things, going back you're able to see the foreshadowing, the foundation laid down, and I think it helps you going forward, because you're becoming more and more familiar with what signs look like, how they get hidden in plain sight, how they apply to what we know about the story so far.

So all that to say - it's not necessarily that the media I take in has prepared me nearly so much as engaging with the community and really consuming the thoughts and ideas of the community was my biggest help! But doing a LOT of re-reads and learning to read into the characters and what they say - or what they don't say - with what we know about them helps, too.

This one is harder to really describe, and I guess it's one of those things that over time you start to pick up as you better understand the characters and their motivations and fears? For instance, when it came to Yui and Kousuke, it had become very clear in that flashback of Kousuke's when he met Nol, that he had been manipulated a LOT in his life - that Yui was soooo deft with her manipulation that it didn't come across looking like what it was. There were still a lot of readers at the time defending her, insisting that she's done everything out of love for him and genuinely trying to do what she thought was best for him. It was hard to try to demonstrate that Yui talking badly about Rand and his affair in Kousuke's hearing range as absolutely a calculated move, that undermining Rand at every turn was calculated to strain the relationship but ALSO make him rely more on her and took advantage of Rand's frequent absence. Things like that! And now we can see plainly that it really was that all along. Even recently she has swapped out the gift Rand gave Kousuke to make him feel like Rand doesn't even try, has twisted words to imply Rand cares more about Nol that he had no time to wait around for Kousuke (despite yknow that whole conversation that had while Kousuke was out being her chasing him out but okay!) and of course, the tea. The drugging.

But yeah, in the end, I think the most important thing is to read other peoples' thoughts and theories - and I don't mean the webtoons comments sections because YIKES ON BIKES lmao - and try to apply it to how you see and interpret things and how could it alter things. Go back and reread scenes and try to examine in them in a different way. What could this scene mean if you remove an romantic expectation? What could this scene mean if you take Kousuke at face value? Actually Kousuke is such a good practice of this because lmao he's a pretty bluntly honest character, but he very OFTEN feels like he's trying to convince himself of things that on a subconscious level aren't so. That whole club arc is just full of it!

One last point I have is that a lot of ILY is written to subvert popular, but bad lol, tropes from other media but especially shoujo manga and boy did I read a lot of that, too. When you know the tropes and the cliches, it's easier to see when it's being subverted. For instance this current arc is bringing to life the "why does my kokoro go dokidoki" cliche of a female lead not being able to identify her romantic feelings for another character and instead just being naive. This is often used to draw out the realization and confessions and has a tendency to get REALLY frustrating because often there's no reason for the misunderstanding! A character will be doing some romantic gesture to her and she'll be like gee golly why do I feel this way? You can see it being subverted with Shinae because a. she has had NO time to process anything that's happened this entire night let alone the shift between her and Nol and b. she lacks not only romantic experience herself but EVEN IN HER LIFE. And knowing that this is a subversion, it leads us to assume that this won't be drawn out and made into some kind of tense mess, and that we can expect to see this resolve much sooner than we might think.

This was also especially true for Kousuke, who was framed very much like the first lead of a romance, where the cold, cruel, rich man secretly has a heart of gold - or discovers a heart of gold - when he comes to meet the plain but bright, unassuming normal girl who somehow gets under his skin. There was a lot of expectation that we'd see that - especially when Kousuke had that moment of kindness and placed his hand over Shinae's to provide her comfort. I think a lot of readers took this as a sign that yes, we are going to see more of Kousuke's soft underbelly - but it was incredibly subverted in that it turns out the asshole with a heart of gold is, in fact, an asshole and lacks the heart of gold, and we watch him crumble slowly over the course of the story, gradually revealing just how truly awful he can be.

Trope subversion of course relies on you having an understanding of popular tropes and cliches and things that get used a plot device rather than to actually improve the writing/characers/story and quimchee does it a LOT, and SOOOO well! This also tangentially leads to being able to pick up on plot devices like foiling and parallels. I feel like parallels are my catnip and I'm ALWAYS pouncing on them when they show up lol. This sounds like so much but again I think it's one of those things where you start to see it once you become aware of it, which once again ties back to digging into the community and sharing our ideas with each other!

I wish I could say that I had read lots of books that had made me better at reading into things but frankly, in school, I was not a super critical reader. I did well, sure, but I was no webtoon.theories breaking ground with theories that shaped the entire way we view the story on a whole lol. I've mostly become a more critical reader as I've gotten older and come to understand people a little better, had more life experiences that gave me better insight to things I may not have understood as well when I was 18 compared to now, haha! I truly mean it when I say I owe it all to the fandom on a whole. If I wasn't constantly interacting with the community and going back and forth with our interpretations and thoughts and ideas I would not have nearly as much insight to share with you guys! <3

(Also do not feel bad about your English, it's good!)

[frostbite-the-bat]

am curious your thoughts about the supposed new blorbo... multislacker

I JUST GOT TO THE FUCKING VP ON TTCC BUT I CANT WAIT TO BE ABLE TO FIGHT MULTISLACKER </3 I AM GETTING CLOSER HOWEVER....jjust behind closed doors and daffodil gardens kudos baord </3 </3 I DONT THINK I CANT SAY MUCH SINCE IM STILL. PROPERLY LEARNING TTCC LORE SINCE I WASNT THERE FOR IT. I PLAYED ONCE YEARS AGO THEN NEVER AGAIN… SO I MISSED ALL THOSE PARTS LOL. i gotta learn from wikis and cogs.ink and other shit and ingame stuff and i am not at endgame yet </3 but. the- the sill.y goofy. the funky wunky. the blorbo woblo.awww its gubgub i love gubgub /q. i love him so much. LIKE. I LOVE ALL THE NEW COGS IN TTCC!! SO MUCH THEYRE SO COOL I LOVE THEIR DESIGNS AND THE IDEAS BEHIND THEM!!!(chairman especially has been growing on me lately quite bit and duck shuffler is just sillay goofay and is partially why i got back into toontown in the first place other than my friends playing it as well..cept they play ttr not ttcc lol.i quit ttr years ago with toontown in general. ANYWAYS) ITS NOT JUST MULTISLACKER WHO I LIKE BUT HES MY FAVORITE!!!! look at this beast

YEAHH SLAY EAT THAT FUCKING SANDWICH !!!! GO (yes this gif is sped up)

AND LIKE. I KNOW THEY ARE IN A WHOLE COMIC WHICH NOT ALL THE COGS GET. I KNOW HE'S A BIT SPECIAL BC SON OF THE VP. BUT!!! ALL THE COGS JUST GET THEIR BOSS FIGHT AND THATS P MUCH ABT IT THE REST IS IN THE BG!! and thats cool u get to make up ur own stuff but like once im done with fighting them im like NOOO DONT GO FRIEND ARUUUFGGH I WANT MOREEEEEEEEEE i wish there was smthn where you can just stand there and watch them talk and interact but ofc yeah itd have to be in cog suits or during some event and new dialogue would have to be written and i am so glad we get anything for all the characters but. AUGHH. MORE I WANT MORE I DEMAND MORE (says i who hasnt gone thru everything in ttcc yet)

as time goes on i may tag more stuff on this bingo but for now it is what it is </3 i also dont plan on interacting with the ttcc/toontown community much at all except for throwing occasional art or funny screenshots there and there but. i plan on mostly being me and my friends playing the game in a little fandom bubble loool im scarred my fandoms im NOT GOIN!! anywhere not letting shit be ruined for me (even if like.. everyone in the ttcc playerbase and community as a whole from what ive seen is sooooooo nice)

i like a this sillay beast ! i get them. they get me. i use adhd beam on him. they make me feel better abt taking things easy lol

heehee :]

[owlets-outlet]

apparently a kdrama with a female autistic lead came out?? so my autistic ass is gonna watch it and let you know how good it is.

ok so first of all. i feel like this is the first kdrama with an autistic lead ever??? and she´s female too??? LOVE. IT. i am also not expecting perfect rep tho, because its... a kdrama. cmon.

episode 1:

things i disliked:

-first and foremost: the whole “oh no, shes autistic :(( horrible news for me as a dad...” thing is just not the vibe. props to him being a loving father tho

-the whole autistic genius thing is overdone by now

-her geniality somehow “made it better to bear” that shes autistic?? mm

-she´s played by a neurotypical actress. i personally dont care that much, especially considering that SK is a small country and its hard to look for autistic actors, but still

-she´s very much the autistic stereotype that we all know. again, nothing i hate too much, because the fact that theres an autistic female lead in a kdrama is a huge step

-occassionally in the outro graphics and in some of the soundtrack, there are elements of infantilization. guys pls dont play silly music while the mc is forced to relive childhood trauma and her personal space is being violently invaded by an angry, screaming man, thank you.

-this one im conflicted about: ocd like symptoms. yes, autistic people do sometimes who them, but sometimes autistic people have ocd as a separate disorder. also its a stereotypical symptom. but its okay i guess.

things i liked:

-the story is told through her perspective. we also get her narration sometimes, revealing that she is a three dimensional person, just cant express some parts outwardly.

-ramblessssss! theyre p good actually

-she is her own person, capable of making her own decisions and doesnt need saving. she is capable of expressing and communicating her needs. (unless shes having a meltdown, or overstimulated. many people on the spectrum cant, and thats okay, but im glad she has agency, ok,it doesnt happen often in media) only needs support when things get unbearable. very nice.

-law isn´t her special interest, whales are! many shows make the persons special interest their whole personality, glad they branched out lol

-accurate representation of overstimulation and anxiety in public spaces

-connected to the last point, her coping mechanisms and stims are accurate to real life and relatable: noise cancel headphones with white noise, pacing when stressed to ground herself, finger stimming...

-stims actually dont look a caricature!! even though they´re basic and stereotypical, they are real and not overexaggerated

-represents sensory issues well, they arent basic, but personalized to her, which is great! for example: her dad removes all tags from her clothes bcs they bother her, she has a specific safe food (bibimbap)

-lack of empathy is handled well too. she uses logic to determine how others may feel, but it is shown that its something she had to learn! very good

-also!! she. has emotions, just doesnt express them the way other people would!!

-a big one: THE VISUAL REPRESENTATION OF HER INSIDE WORLD ISNT TRIGGERING TO ME. it still may be to some people, but, unlike the music movie (ew), it isnt bright, flashing and fast paced: its flowing, with neutral, soft colors and calm noises

-her and her best friend are the perfect adhd and autism solidarity

-her aversion to touch seems to be handled well so far: she learns to tolerate it, not like it (thank god), for the sake of comforting other people (not to please them, but only when needed)

-its a kdrama. shes getting a love interest. an autistic person being treated as an adult?? with a love interest?? DAMN (the bar is on the floor, huh)

i will update this as i make my way further through the episodes, but im cautiously optimistic so far!

[cheeriecherrymain]

i went on a date today

kind of? like, it wasn’t ‘hanging out’ but it wasnt a romantic date. its was like.

Friend!Date

Like, i’ll preface all of this by saying that i am incredibly awkward around new people. I’ve got adhd, ive got the ‘tism. It takes me a while to learn about individuals and their habits, and I’m just...not good at all the small-talk. I’m the kind of person who’s better in small groups, because I can still engage occasionally and learn about people, but I don’t have to be completely responsible for conversation, y’know?

But I’ve been talking to a guy through text for a couple weeks now - he’s a friend of a friend’s brother, and the friends thought he and I would get along - and we decided that we wanted to meet up and grab coffee.

And like, I told him pretty much off the bat ‘hey, I struggle with social situations sometimes, so if I leave you on read at any point, it’s not because I don’t want to talk. I just like to think about what to say before I say it. Same thing happens in face to face conversations, sometimes I’ll just Stop for a couple seconds, and the Start again like nothing happened’ and he was like yeah thats cool, i get it, my sister has social anxiety which is like. a huge relief

And we got along in text, hes funny, hes sweet, he’s reasonable, he loves animals, and we have a lot of the same interests. I’ve gotten really comfortable around him really fast, which is weird for me, but again - we’re only texting. There’s a buffer there that doesnt let me show my awkwardness. 

But I was like ‘hey I dunno if (friend) told you, but i’m genderqueer, I just realized you might not know’ because. Like if he’s not cool with that, then it would suck, but I’d rather not get close to him before telling him and risk losing a wholeass friendship. But he was like ‘omg yeah thats cool, i guess (friend) didn’t tell you im trans lol’ and we had a good laugh about it, and it made me feel a lot closer to him because like. Not only is he supportive, but he also Gets It. I don’t have a lot of people who Get It.

But yeah, we met up finally, and he was super nice about keeping the conversation going, and he got me to infodump twice which is. A record, because usually people tell me to shush when I start going on about something. But he just. Listened. And asked questions! To show he was Listening! I don’t get that kind of reaction. Like, ever.

And we departed ways a couple hours ago with plans to meet up again and do some Winter Activities (we’re going to see if either of us can still ski, or if we’ll fall on our faces) and I’m! Actually looking forward to it.

Which is just so weird for me because I usually feel so drained by social activities and situations! But he’s just. Pleasant to be around. He’s kind, and I like listening to him talk, and!

It’s so rare that someone just makes me Calm.

And now im filled with anxiety that i’m gonna fuck it up.

anyways, im putting all of this here because i just want to write my feelings down

[shiny-miltank]

A leche hobbies update:

Update on knitting adventures: almost done with a scarf I started 🤔 dropped stitches everywhere but it really helps with my adhd to have something in my hands to play with while feeling like I’m working towards something! Don’t think I’ll show it off though LMAO, it’s ugly as a scarf but I like it as a “baby’s first scarf” to look back on when I get better. And it’s warm :)!

Other thing: picked up a sewing machine from the good will and still in really great shape and working! Its old and has character and I love it HAH. I’m learning from my abuelita on her own machine. It’d be great to combine this and knitting to make essentials and to repair clothes that really need it.

Drawing/not really a hobby it’s my “Jobby”: sorry for being a lil slow on updates! I got a little bit of burnout and I really want to finish summers commissions so I can clear my schedule more. I’m just about done so I’m no longer chipping on three projects at a time between my full time job oof-but do know they are being worked on. I’ve got adoptables on the way and sketching the next ask-n update! I’ve also been keeping an eye on other places to post like insta and bluesky but I feel like I need to like…observe? Some more? Before committing and learning whole new platforms and posting schedules bleh.

I got other projects in the pipeline, one including a pmd thing, more Paldea headcanons and what not and some certain purple psychic cat things returning. But all in due time! Can’t overwhelm myself : 0

And a little bit of a rant or ramble about perhaps dropping a longtime hobby I’ve had and feeling sad about it beneath the cut ;( but if you’ve read this far thanks! Love ya’ll for supporting me!

I think a handful of you? Know I roleplay on this platform and have for a good seven? Eight? Years. It’s fun, a lot of my ideas and headcanons and art I’m known for were actually jump started by some random thread or idea from between my rp partners and what not. The Mewtwo blog, ask-n, scarlet turo and etc etc were old muses or ideas that turned into their own thing. It’s always been so easy to write and collaborate your ideas with the rp community you’re in and it becomes it’s whole big thing!

But I know it hasn’t always been the healthiest hobby for me after awhile but esp when I want to focus on content creation as a job that I’m really into. I no longer have the time to maintain plots and characters despite being so determined to stick to it. It’s becoming more of a distraction of just scrolling down the rp dashboard out of FOMO more then anything and heck I can’t even see most of it as a lot of events and verses and etc I blacklist to attempt to curb anxiety and distractions which haven’t been working lately 🤔 I still get lots of anxiety.

That and the community’s changed really. I know every old rper has typed their piece on “back in the good old days-“, leaves their blog and doesn’t give any useful advice or attempt to change the narrative lol. I don’t want to do that.

And it’s not the communities fault either. It’s natural for spaces to change to help new ideas and new people come in. It just means maybe it’s no longer meant for me and that’s okay. If anything it’s more how my friends I’ve been with for all my time there have left or are leaving. There’s a disconnect I can’t seem to get over no matter what new muse or idea I promote esp when I’m no longer comfortable in the space I enjoyed for so long. I never had to block so many things before and again not the communities fault and none of the things I’m blocking are unsavory, it’s more like my tastes and likes and dislikes and what I have spoons for have just become different over so long. It’s totally a me thing.

It’s in my mind that maybe it’s okay to let it go since I’m getting so hyped for my newer hobbies and the ideas I have for my art/comics. I don’t have the time anymore to dedicate so much energy on it like I use to esp when even over all my work Im still figuring out my adhd after getting diagnosed officially, new meds, the other mental diagnosis that makes the mental soup in my head alongside other life stuff.

I owe rp in general for helping me get that creative spark and through a lot of tough, long dark times. It’s provided me with the escapism and outlet since like, forever. I started rping in ye old Neopet neomail days and haven’t stopped since besides the occasional period that didn’t last long. Who knows maybe this is just a rut and I’ll feel better tomorrow or next week or something. Could be the change of seasons where my seasonal depression kicks in but I’m not quitting yet but it’s somewhere in the funky mind palace as I navigate this weird patch.

Thanks if you’ve read my ramblings this far! I wish there was a way to reward peeps who read through my long jargon? It just feels good to know I can scream into the void and sometimes I’ll have one or two people nod at me in understanding. Idk, I’ll think of something—

[wander-wren]

Ok, here goes! I wanna preface this by saying that I've been in a serious writing rut for like the past six months, to the point where I've pretty much given up on my WIPs. It's not that I don't want to write, or that I don't have ideas, but the actual work of sitting down and getting words on the page feels like pulling my own teeth out. So I'm conducting research on writers I admire to see if I can learn anything from their processes. And so, without further ado:

How long have you been writing?

Do you start out knowing what's gonna happen in the story, like with a plot chart and everything, or does the story take shape as you go along?

Do you write in big chunks or a little bit at a time?

How many drafts do you typically do? Is your first draft usually like word vomit or something a little more polished?

Do you have a beta reader?

What's your editing process like?

Is there a certain time or place where you prefer to write?

What do you consider the hardest part of writing?

Have you ever struggled with perfectionism in your writing? Do you have any tricks for bypassing that "EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECT" wall in your brain and just get words on the page?

That was a lot lol. Of course you don't have to answer all of them, but any insight you're willing to give will be greatly appreciated!

Thank you very much <3

woo okay let’s tackle this!! under the cut bc Long. strap in folks

How Long Have You Been Writing?

in any shape or form: since maybe 6 years old? but i started writing fanfiction at 12, started getting serious about writing in general at 15, and threw myself full tilt into fanfic at 17, so currently i haven’t written original fiction Really since june. which is a complicated answer. you didn’t specify if this is about original stuff or fic, but i’ll try to answer from both perspectives bc my process for each is wildly different.

Plotter or Pantser?

for both original fiction and longfics, i’m solidly in the middle; i usually start with a list of things i want to happen, and i always need some idea of where i’m going to end, even if it changes later. from there, i start writing the first few chapters. when i feel like i have a more solid grasp of where i’m going, i outline chapter-by-chapter through one “section” of the story, however i define that. once im done that section, i outline again. this gives me a lot more freedom to change things as i go and adapt to new decisions i make. i also add random ideas to my masterlist of stuff that i might want to include further down the line as i go.

with oneshots i never, or almost never, have a plan beyond the premise/summary, so they frequently get away from me and do all kinds of random things.

Big Chunks or Little At a Time?

i’m gonna say big chunks? i have adhd so i frequently hyperfixate on my projects and can work on them for hours and hours on end, which i don’t exactly recommend, but it happens. at any given time i have a “main” wip or two that i work on pretty much daily, and then others scattered around that i might pick up for a few hours if i get bored. but i try to finish fics as fast as possible bc if i move on there’s a 50% chance i won’t come back, at least not for months.

How Many Drafts?

for fanfic? one. every once in a while if something is REALLY not working i’ll rewrite sections, so that’s like 1.5 drafts, but it’s free labor i do for fun so while i take pride in it and want it to be good, i’m not going to expend THAT much energy, yknow?

for original stuff, like if we’re talking novels…at least three drafts? i haven’t gotten that far with most of my projects so i’m still learning about myself, but my general process seems to be that the first draft is about getting the main story beats and the emotions down. my first draft is always very heavy on the angst and catharsis, sometimes overdramatically so, bc there’s less plot to hold it up. then my second draft is more about plot and realism and structure, but i tend to lose some emotions in trying to do that. my third draft is about combining the two and continuing to polish stories/characters. i haven’t written any fourth drafts, so i’m not sure whats beyond that.

and my first drafts tend to be very polished. i wrote a little rant explaining the history of that aspect of my writing not long ago, so i won’t get into it again. part of that is just how i’ve always been, part of it is practice. i do feel sometimes that i write pretty enough to cover up structural/realism/continuity issues, which can be frustrating when looking for critique from people who can’t see past it.

Beta Reader?

yes! i have a small group of writer friends that i share things with, but that is pretty much always for cheer-betaing and minor critiques unless i ask for actual criticism, which i only do with my original stuff when i get to the second/third draft, partly bc it’s not ready before then, and partly because it’s a lot of mental work for the other people. shoutout to my main bnha betas, @rangerlexi and @spacetime-enthusiast, who are, as i said, mainly cheer betas, tho mav is also my resident bakugo expert bc he’s very hard for me to write sometimes. getting better tho!

can’t recommend finding betas enough, even if just to cheer you on. hell, i can’t make promises about super long works or original fic, but i’m always down to read fanfiction. i don’t even bite, i swear. obligatory note that you do gotta trust ppl tho yada yada thieves exist and mean people exist etc etc

Editing Process?

for fanfic: typically i reread one or two times right away while all my thought processes are fresh in my head. i’ll make spot edits and add or delete things here and there. then depending on how impatient i am, i wait a day or a few to send it to my betas and/or reread and edit again myself. then i post and i’m done!

for original works: i don’t bother to edit first drafts, or even second drafts sometimes. when it’s time to prep for a second draft, i reread and make notes on what i want to keep and what i want to change, then use those notes to make my next skeletal outline. usually my stories change drastically from one draft to the next, but the last time i did a third draft, i wanted it to be pretty close to the structure of the second, so instead of outlining at all i just did splitscreen and wrote the whole third draft while looking at the second, sometimes basically retyping a page word for word, sometimes going “well, that chapter is pointless” and skipping it entirely. when it came to line editing, i used hemingway bc i don’t trust computers to do my editing, BUT the different colored highlights were helpful to break up the monotony. hemingway is a lot more focused on concise/readable sentences and cutting adverbs than anything else, which was good for me as an overwriter. i cut 22k words the last time i used it, from a 130k draft.

Best Time or Place?

not really? i write everywhere and constantly. the advice about finding your niche of productive time never seemed to work for me because, as long as i’m not blocked/stuck, i pretty much always kind of want to write.

Hardest Part?

DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIPS OH MY GOD IT’S THE WORST. sorry. i hate. doing that. becoming friends? becoming family? falling in love? god. kill me. i love all [thing] to lovers in reading but in writing i tend to drift toward best friends to lovers bc then it’s kind of close. i love writing about people in relationships, tension and banter and softness and fights, but getting there is so awful.

Are You a Perfectionist? Tips?

hm. gonna try to answer this honestly and in the least asshole-ish sounding way possible lmao.

i’m not really a perfectionist? not in writing, anyway, idk about other stuff. but also it’s just like…i know i’m good at what i do. not perfect—i can see flaws in things i wrote even a few months ago—but good. More Than Satisfactory. sometimes fics just don’t work and i abandon them, sometimes it takes me a while to figure out what i’m doing, but i’m not generally paralyzed by the need for anything to be perfect because i’m happy where i am?

that’s a hard mindset to get to, though. and you will for sure feel good about something and then dislike it in a few months or years. that’s just the nature of improving your craft. i think if i had any tips, though, i would say a few things.

watch this video essay, the whole thing but specifically 5:39-9:20. i love cj the x and i agree with many of his takes on art, so. some of his other essays might be helpful as well but that one i know talks specifically about perfectionism.

or if you don’t want to, just have this quote that melted my brain a little when i heard it. “perfectionism is not an inherently bad impulse. but you have to earn that. you don’t get to be a perfectionist if it is unproven up to this point if you can even make a thing.”

read bad stories. like genuinely i’m such a petty spiteful person oops so. i don’t really seek them out much but reading like, really really badly written work is like “well, if that’s the bar, at least i’ve cleared it.” obviously don’t go attacking creators or posting the work to make fun of it, but read it. maybe make notes of exactly why it’s bad for yourself, even, it might help you get better at identifying problems in your own work if you can figure out why things are bad beyond just “i don’t like it.” there, that sounds less mean, right?

just post your shit, tbh. put it out there. most people on the internet, in fandoms, they’re nice, if you curate your space properly. it’s a confidence boost! put something out there that’s less-than-perfect, get a couple of kudos and realize the world didn’t implode, and maybe, maybe it’ll be easier to start/finish next time.

you kinda just gotta accept that you need practice, my dude. like. you can’t closer to perfect without work!! we know this!! just do it. i know i just said to post things but also if you hate what you made no one!! else!! has!! to!! know!! it can be a secret. it’s okay. this coming from a chronic oversharer lol i have the worst time trying not to shove my stuff at people….which, actually, kinda worked better as motivation for me, bc i couldn’t share something unfinished, so i had to Do The Thing in order to get validation/feedback/critique like i wanted. so either way, whatever works better for you.

The End

so yeah, those are my answers, i guess? i hope that makes sense and helps and everything!! i’m really sorry you’re in a rut, that’s the worst. if you have any more questions or just wanna chat about what you’re writing feel free to come say hi again!

[rv2xlga]

sigh. another shuake rant that literally makes no sense god be with me pls…

title speaks for itself. not in the best mood rn but i feel like transness was in the air today and even if it gloomy as heck, the air is more pretty.. hmmm sounds like transfeminism to me.

i always and i mean always fall for the transgirl characters even transgirl irl i love transness sm i love femininity, not feminine identifying myself but MY GOD feminine presentation is beautiful, all kinds. and yes, i have to make everything about shuake. i feel like one reason i really like them so much is cuz of my own projections onto them, its uhm.. a lot that goes into all that but in the general, i based akechi on someone i heavily care about and met last year (which when once talking to them told me about how they would think about transitioning like mtf when they grew older) and with that, was born my akechi transfemme headcanon. didnt realize it at the time, didnt realize many things but i also ended up learning apparently i have a thing for transfemme characters and just feminine presenting characters in general! like to list some characters i have hyperfixated on in the past esp in the art category goes from maya fey to saki tenma to akechi in that order and when it comes to some of favorite characters i wasnt able to draw more often due to a bunch of other stuff were characters like phoenix wright and mizuki akiyama and further in both lists is a bunch more. and its true i only listed two characters i really like headcanon as transfemme there but i see phoenix more of a feminine guy, still being cis but liking more pink girly “gay” shit lol and obviously the struggles that come with that. i see saki and maya as more femme girls liking pink and struggling with their femininity in a way that goes with sexuality and what it feels to be the femme one in a relationship or a feminine presenting woman which brings me into my bigger topic.

mi nina bella arquita (arca the singer lol) posted on her story a tumblr post about transfeminity and how difficult the experience is for trans women and mind you im not a trans woman myself but just knowing the experience of being a woman or being born female more like it like i cant imagine what that must be like to somebody who is new to that concept, even if it’s scientifically not very different, i can’t imagine learning that so late in life or whenever u learn it to someone treated as a complete outsider if that makes any sense. and again like i stated early and in no little more to my adhd i always think about akechi, its just a necessity atp. but he was somebody who never got the chance to even think about things like that, like i know what that experience feels like, as a trans person myself and mind you my upbringing was very different than his aside being born female and all, i had the time and the support even if very little and not the best to be honest to think on all those things but he didn’t he had nobody else. that even brings me to akira. i dont headcanon akira as transfemme at all i see him as transmasc very heavily to the point i treat it as canon but anywho, its the same sorta contrast. akechi is so closed off to the idea of his transfeminity, even i feel he would already know he’s gay and interact probably with others online who are, very distantly but yea lol i think he would be a stan twitter reveluv but to the idea of being trans and not just trans but transfemme, is a completely different story for him.

while on the other hand, i feel like akira would be so open to the idea. yea maybe he wouldn’t be outwardly telling everyone “HEY IM TRANS!!” yk lmao but thats not really pride, thats not really what it looks like contray to popular belief and also dont even get me started with the fear of the people around you, the first most prominent point. its a whole other fear a whole other level of boundaries that people cross just to know if you have boobs and a pussy or not, from personal experience its disgusting disturbing and just plain out insane. but i feel like with the right people that he trusts its something its more comfortable to share, even sharing with it sojiro despite his age and the fact that most adults don’t care to respect to understand transness. i feel like akechi would be so terrified to even think about it, the fear of even asking someone he knows is trans (little stalker lmao) because it forces him to think. and it makes others question yk you don’t really ask someone “hey what does it feel like to be trans” for a friend lol.

i also think about shuake as a whole too the fact that i think akechi would grow that level of comfortability to even ask at some point, probably right before he’d die but the effort was put you know? the question was asked, the barriers were broken and i think their love is so beautiful because even with anything and everything, akira would still be there for him. not just because akira loves him which to be honest, probably has a much bigger sentiment but in a way, that just sorta feels like an obligation right? akira wants to be there for akechi because he knows what that feels like even if, no he really doesn’t because being a trans woman and being a trans man are very different experiences it all ties back to the same string. men and women really aren’t that different, we’re all human and the literal same species. we all have brains and can think for ourselves and oh does the list go on. the experience is obviously very different societally, which can not be ignored with our current society but again, he wants to be there for him because hey, you’re a transgender person like me too. the support and comfort i never had. pushing that extra level of questioning and testing and support and validation and whatever it may be because yes being a transwomam not have been the same experience akira went through but he is still trans and in that simple word lies some kind of a connection and the type of support he was never given. he had to learn it himself and he’s just passing it onto akechi. like again again, yes he loves him but he knows what he needs and like ugh. that is just so beautiful i love solidarity

its so many things that make their relationship for me that i feel i will never find again. something so beautiful in the complex, no little thanks to my multiple personality disorders as if one wasn’t enough. something so beautiful in the support and love you can offer somebody and i wish wish wish wishh transphobia wasn’t such a PLAGUE in everything! like ugh naoto, the storyline you deserved… honestly fuck atlus with all my heart tbh♥

[freyito]

I’m so sorry if this is rude, but do you ever plan to update your queue post? I think some of the stuff on it might be stuff you’ve posted, but I’m not sure

ik u said to ignore this anon but ACTUALLY im gonna use this to my advantage. this isn't me like yelling at you lol just so you know. just to reiterate a couple things

the first is i am missing a couple asks on my queue post and i do essentially queue everything the minute i see i got an ask or i get an idea. normally i delete them off my queue or on my pinned post when i finish them (unless they were never on there which kinda happens a lot ((fics and ideas that just. hit me and dont let go)), but i do post a lot late at night and normally when that happens i update my queue and my masterlist the next day over cause i am too sleepy!!!!!

second is since im getting a lot more followers (like a lot more than i thought id get for such self indulgent pieces lol and even as a m! writer in general tbh) i want everyone to know what i said above!!!! BUT ALSO i dont rlly have a set schedule and i try and write when i can. i did JUST get a job so im still kinda learning to balance my writing and stuff like that since they haven't really given me a consistent schedule. so lowkey half the time i'll be like "new fic tomorrow". and then there is NOT a new fic that day. sometimes i just get rlly excited to post a fic and then i space out for a while, that happens a lot when youve got mad adhd and like sooo many things you can do and want to do!! that you just . do nothing.

i also tend to be overambitious (those who have read my fics since i first posted know lol and also my moots) so i'll like load up my queue with all these ideas and then a month later i'll delete some cause i like. totally forgot.

i also have had a couple of gripes with asks i get... which i hope i dont sound rude T_T. LIGHTNING ROUND THO!!!

i've had a couple of anons (before AND now) drop essentially the same ask (same anons), and i know i don't outright say which ask is which cause i try my best to give fics genuine titles, but just know i dont rlly delete asks !!!!!! unless they are against the rules

ON THAT NOTE!!! i urge everyone to pleaaaase read my rules waghhh!!!! i've gotten a lotta asks about a pregnant reader (specifically!!!!). i'm not here to yuck anyones yum at all but i myself am uncomfy with writing pregnancy (simply cause its a huge fear of mine lol). genuinely that is like the ONLY rule people gloss over (granted i need to update my rules uber soon). that doesn't mean i wont write stuff where reader and character adopt kids or whatever, just no pregnancy nothing like that

i've also had anons/people in my inbox ask "when will x fic come out" or ""check up"" on fics. please know that i am working on everything on my own time!!!! i try my very best to drop fics in order of my queue and i do prioritize requests!!!! but there are days where suddenly i am not feeling an ask or a fic i'm writing so to avoid burn out and fatigue and just overall producing a soulless piece i work on a different piece.

i'm also currently switching from headcanons & drabbles to mainly oneshots, cause i've just had a lot more fun writing bigger and proper pieces!!! that doesn't mean i won't write hcs/drabbles when i see fit ofc, but due to this lowkey like 80% of my asks went from "haha silly little drabble" to full on oneshots (and some even full on fics!). so my writing and ""production"" time has been significantly increased.

also another thing of note: over time i've kinda just slowed down if not halted completely on writing fics for fem readers... the Robin one will most likely be my last x Fem! reader simply cause it feels odd for me to write fem reader all of a sudden. mainly cause i am . a boy lol and i did start this account to write for male readers (cause especially after coming out several years ago it was just so hard to find x male readers yk??). I won't be deleting x fem reader requests cause lowkey they are all kinda bangersss so most of the time I will default to gn reader or switch to male reader as i see fit..

also lowkey circling back to the queue and masterlist in general, all my masterlists have a date at the very bottom for when i updated them o7

That was a LOT I AM SO SORRY.... but lowkey had to get a couple things out there T_T i think it's kinda cause i just switched up on mk and went into hsr so fast so my asks def have a different vibe in general lol...