#im trying so hard not to procrastinate
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Im making a Pearlescent Moon animatic to Evil Anvil's new song (its so good aah) and my friends are fucking sick of me

but omggg unhinged women got me giggling and kicking my feet over here
#pearlescentmoon#pearlecentmoon fanart#funny texts#doing things im passionate abt is HARD do i hafta#im trying so hard not to procrastinate#evil anvil#evil anvil song#double life
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19th March, 2024 | Trying to study cause my exams are starting from 28th March *_*
#study hard#student#productivity#studywithme#exams#coffee#chemistry#im trying so hard not to procrastinate#man do i wanna just give up#×_×
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I'm curious
#gomz is trying to procrastinate on her nikprice mer au#PANELLING IS SO VERY HARD OKAY im crying /j#very close to finish and compiling it though#i fear i have made it longer than I intended#i just keep adding more stuff into it#anyways#i made this poll bcuz i got more noncod requests recently and wonder if like#there are people outside of cod fandom following me solely based on vibes and my art LMAO#you are a strong soldier if you're one of them#cuz none of the things i say makes much sense even if you're aware of cod#poll
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idk this entered my brain the other night and wouldn't leave until i got out of bed and drew it
#shadow#shadow the hedgehog#sth#sega#sonic fanart#eerrrm#my art#i left his glove cuffs off by accident first and then when i tried to draw them back in it looked weird so i left it :/#i promise i draw more than just shadow these days ive just got the artblock bug and am trying to show off garbage i made months/weeks ago#im also procrastinating hard on submitting my grad school app because it scares me <3
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Here's a quick peak of my Sparklecare self-inserts 2nd redesign! >:3 ♡ (A drawing of them before I finish their ref sheet! <3)
Awhile ago, I said I wanted to finish Nea's intro card before I posted their (now former) ref. But as you can probably guess, I never rlly finished that intro card- (╥ ╥) But I'm actually almost done w/ the new one now! I'm going to have it done in a few days, I just need to finish writing a section, and polishing a few things. So if all goes to plan, I'll be posting the ref and card soon ♡
(I'll have Nea's previous ref utc, also! ♡ :3)
#sparklecare#sparklecare oc#nea pollie tann#my art#eye strain#digital art#♡#me rambling in tags#im so sorry for how horrible my procrastination is btw- pfhsgjsv#i do enjoy making these for my OCs#but i just occasionally get into a small rutt of sorts when drawing/writing that messes up my flow/rhythm(?)#and I have a bad habit of not trying to work hard enough to find more solutions for it#so i just end up putting the project off for A Long Time usually .#im sorry . </3
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ITS ONLY 2AM??? IT FEELS LIKE 4AM WHAT
#i can see each pixel on my screen#i have no glasses and im far sighted WHAT IS GOING ON???#also. headache#im so cooked maybe i should start drinking coffee again or try energy drinks#I HAVE GCSES SO SOON WHAT THE HELL GUYS IM PROCRASTINATING SO HARD RN WDYMMMM#im so cooked IM SO DONE FOR WHAT DO I DO#i hate u drama gcse back off. IM NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE DOING IT YET I GOT A YEAR LEFT FUCK OFF#im so cooked#the white text looks yellow now#i think this is a sign for me to sleep (i still have hw)#i wonder if anyone even reads these. i mean. i do in the morning because i forget everything but. yeah#why. am. i. using. so. many. dots.#kadens yap session
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"my education is my highest priority" everything returns to vocaloid
#delete later#shitpost#vocaloid#?? idk i might keep it up. yes ik turning off rbs is a thing now technically but i always keep forgetting and also naaaah.#i might go edit proper tags in later just bc i dont this to show up in main pages but i needdddddd the organization on here#i made this a while back procrastinating on a linguistics reading and then never posted it#AND THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE BC IM POSTING IT NOW WHILE PROCRASTINATING ON ANOTHER LINGUISTICS READING LMAOO#dudeee i gotta lock in. oh my god. its so bad up in here triple assault. i cant focus on SHIT. WHY DO I ALWAYS GET IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY AHGHH#this might be revealing a bit too much info but pls this is legit what happened LMAOO 😭🥴#we're starting ipa alphabet stuff now and im like 'hey i already know you...' from phoneme fuckery ive had to do for voca shitposts#knowing linguistics is cool cause u get to dissect what makes languages work and i thought that'd be genuinely helpful for things#like i plan to do more english/spanish translation work specifically so yuh. but also I KNOW internally in my heart...#despite trying to give the professional justifications I KNOW my stupid ass is secretly just absorbing all this knowledge for voca purposes#my brand of shitposting goes against the very origin of the word since 'shitposting' originally refers to very low effort low quality memes#so there's been a semantic shift in definition even outside of mine but i still think its really funny. i put a lot of genuine hard work#into making stupid little jokes to amuse primarily myself and maybe anyone else who finds it on the internet. so yea#no but genuinely though its unironically incredible how much shit i've learned direct or indirectly for vocaloid shitposting purposes#singing robot pendejadas
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- tries to clean room
- room ends up more trashed than before
#guys im trying so hard#at least i procrastinated by cleaning the bathroom#im being good!!!!!!!#im trying so hard to be good!!!!!!!!!#macaroni chats
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ive been wistfully thinking about making some kind of kaiji koi-koi fic bc im kinda insane about koi-koi in a way im not for any other games (and the way you'd need to be to make a vaguely fukumoto-typical game) but ive been stuck on the fact that like,, games where you form hands are really hard to keep track of in text-only formats. the flow is either super bogged down by constantly listing them or people get lost bc you cannot communicate that information quickly and simply like you can with visuals (a reflection that's helped me appreciate gambling manga as a concept a bit better) (this is also harder with koi-koi specifically bc there aren't number designations, so no 1-pin or 3 of hearts, which might make things a little easier to follow) BUT i also didn't want to draw potentially hundreds of pages of fan comic about this. but talking to nyarla i realized i can just.. put images in an ao3 post. i can show the hands visually every turn if ppl need a reference quickly and easily without having to think about panelling and flow and drawing hands and shit. anyway we might be so back you guys im so happy
#like i havent looked at any kaiji fic so idk how like.. common it is for people to make their own games?#but something so reliant on visual information as mahjong or koi-koi or idk rummy would be hard#and i imagine a lot of ppl would instead go for less visually dependent games (like brave men road or even one poker)#BUT THIS COULD WORK. LIKE I FEEL THIS COULD FEASIBLY HAPPEN SOMEDAY#bc ive been thinking about different strategies and playstyles and the assumptions kaiji would make#(though i havent come up with any gimmicks or cheats.. tbh i might just stick to them playing regular honest koi-koi bc i like it a lot(#but yeah im like!! excited!! it's probably never going to happen but im happy that like#that roadblock is gone and it's no longer impossible. daydream maintained!!#fkmt#kaijiposting#fun fact immediately after posting this i went theough the koi koi tag on here for shits and gigs and like#found someone who wanted an explanation and spent Way Too Long trying to explain the rules of koi-koi#anyway i hope they uh still want those. my point is im so abnormal about it. beloved card game#it just scratches my brain really well idk#didn't help the procrastination though eeeyikes!!!
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to be so honest im starting to think i really need to see a professional for my social anxiety
#.mei’s chatter ˚༘⋆ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖#it is so bad in ways i can’t even articulate but today i felt sick over having to send one text message and procrastinated the entire day#i’ve gotten so bad recently#and that’s not even a fraction of the texts i need to reply to.. i feel like im crumbling under the weight of how awkward i am#and i hate it because im sure everyone thinks i’m rude and i know it comes off as so weird when i reply to a text fucking SIX WEEKS late#but i genuinely feel so awful and guilty over it i just cannot make myself do it. i’m so scared ill say the wrong thing or fuck up#or i just forget because i have memory issues but it’s awful all the same and i feel so terrible#and i assume everyone hates me until i see them again because i never texted back and it makes me feel like an awful person#but i have good intentions and i really just want to give everyone the kindness they deserve but i get so scared to talk to ppl it’s crazy#it’s so awful. i really need it fixed it feels like it’s rotting my soul and ruining my relationships#people will be so nice to me and then i just don’t get back to them… it’s horribly horribly rude and i know it i just get terrified#or i forget most the time i really do just forget but it feels bad all the same#i think it stems from like.. i don’t want to say the wrong thing so i need to think hard about what to say but then i forget or get so ->#caught up in trying to say the perfect thing that i get overwhelmed and procrastinate then forget entirely#i’m an awful person i truly cannot stand myself#i guess the only way forward is to just be better in the future but fuck i feel so guilty
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i just finished playing chapter 1 of Ena Dream BBQ and i can feel dusty gears in my brain starting to turn for the first time in decades
#its prob bc i only started rly playing video games like a month ago#other than sims#and brief experiences with some games as a kid#i guess my brain is so used to the same pathways of school art work bed rotting etc#i feel slightly more aware of my body in space?? and like...#my perception of the work i have to do for my philosophy of art class is different#it feels a little more exciting and interesting#a LITTLE not a lot#im still likely to procrastinate lol#but im glad it seems more feasible#having to figure shit out in the lonely door wothout any guidance in a world that makes little sense rly kicked my brain back into working#felt like when i travelled in europe alone and had to explore and figure things out myself in every new city#but in Ena there's no precidents or guidance you just gotta try shit and hope it works#i have no idea if it was the same for everyone else or if there were a million different ways it could've gone????#im tempted to go back and replay it to explore more...#but climbing up to the genie was scary and hard lol#!!!! but thats it!!!! it's that it was so hard and scary but i felt determined to keep trying and that felt really good!!!!!!!#ena dream bbq
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everything someone would want their partner doing to them for affection (such as hugging, hair grooming/petting, light touch) is something i do to myself and no one else is allowed to do it
i fucking hate being touched and my hair being messed with but i just caught myself petting my own hair. i hug myself or my pillow, sometimes i wake myself up lightly touching my own arm.
i have a partner and most people like their partners doing that, but i cant even bring myself to hug or kiss them at all, much less doing that. i always end up feeling trapped or crowded or start overheating and i hate it, but why do i do those things to myself and i cant simply translate that over to my partner
#trauma ig#idk#im always doing this#being up really late#procrastinating sleep#i think im afraid to go to sleep#i dont really recall any recent nightmares#they used to be really bad and i was afraid to sleep#but i domt really remember anythimg recent off the top of my head#but every night i try not to sleep#and its so bad bc im always so tired#and i need the extra sleep bc meds and seizures#and the depression hits so hard at night#but i cant stop
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Ugh. Supernatural fans will write fanfics about Dean Winchester that are so heart shattering it tricks me into thinking I should rewatch Supernatural.
#it tricks me into think supernatural was anything more than very mediocre. but maybe my opinion has changed#i just kno i didnt really like it that much bc i thought x files was better and i thought the Christian stuff was boring#but i also used to not like narut0 so maybe i should givr it another shot#ugh. idk i just think some of thr bedt fics ive read were from supernatural. and they've evolved so much over time#like i was reading supernatural fanfic when cas was 1st introduced. ugh. there r a couple fics that r etched in my brain#but i have no idea what thry were called or how i would even try to find thrm. thry were all on fan fiction dot net. woof#anyway im procrastinating. but i should try to draw cas. i feel like i coulf maybe drse him now. or Dean. maybe. i always found thrm hard#to draw. ys kno. ugh. ive got thr supernatural feels. thr fandom i go to when i want to experience thr most wretched sadness#supernatural ramblings#god. i hope this isnt the stsrt of something. ive got so much othet bullshit to watch#unrelated
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Me when im planning something big but it has this guy
#samgladiator#yhs sam#yandere high school#yandere highschool#yhs#when you delay the Yhs Reanimated project for around a year#how? idk#im lying yes i do i get procrastinated so hard that once i finally get back into it the project dreads in#i have a problem but have no way of solving it so im very sorry to the people who actually did their part I should’ve put a big red sign#saying ‘this will take years but not for you but for me’#but i have gotten things together i just need. to do them.#im not the best person to do this stuff#yall don’t understand how many project ideas i have chilling in the corner but i keep making new ones#like fun fact i keep all my comic ideas in a doc and the list somehow keeps getting longer. then i have a lot of animation/animatic ideas#bro cant leave the yhs fandom till they do everything they planned so im staying here till its 20th anniversary/hj#this was about the yhs reanimated.. back to that so yeah im trying very hard to do work on it because i gotta do a lot of the parts
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been going crazy over jing yuan today. no one is shocked
#i need him bad guys. its revolting#i'm daydreaming so hard that its makin me wanna write stuff but im. SCARED#what if i do it WRONG#u may say there is no such thing but to me there is HWBSNFKDJW#anyways really i'm just procrastinating and trying not to succumb to the horrors#aka has an assessment at work tomorrow that they didnt start studying for until today and is extremely anxious about#really wish my anxiety didnt manifest as avoidance that would solve some things AHAHEJMGKWKFJS#i think i should daydream about jy some more what about u#₊˚⊹⋆˚☂︎ bunny babbles ₊˚⊹⋆˚
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Second day of running off of coffee and spite only
#this week of camp is always the busiest. i have something that goes late into the night every night#im exhausted and want to spend time with friends and other people#especially because this is my last year. but its fine!#theyre good and important things that i love im just tired#tonight im telling the pegend of our camp's beginnings#i used to tell it and then passed it on to someone#but since this is my last year he asked if i want to do it one last time#and i really fucking do. so ive been practicing and im excited but its also bittersweet and kinda difficult#idk. the woman that passed it on to me was super important to me but is now no longer in my life#so im feeling some weird things about that#also tomorrow is Christmas in July (a secret santa we do with staff) and im so fucking excited#x in j is my favorite holiday ever in the world#and i have a good friend of mine. i just hope the person that has me actually cares#its my last year at camp and i just really want a nice x in j as my last#im so tired i resorted to the black coffee in the dining hall. i drank it so fast#i wiuld love to go to sleep but after i tell the legend tonight i have to work on x inj#and i love to procrastinate so i cant work on it until my gf comes back to camp with the materials that i need#(im just gonna vent now. even though thats all ive been doing)#its my last year and im so burnt out but i love it here so its hard#and everyone keeps trying to convince me to come back next year. its hard. its not easy. im tired and want to go home#but i also want to be here and i want to be enjoying myself here and i wish i ciuld come back forever#but also coming back forever sounds like hell#im just tired and wanted to yap idk goodbye
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