#im waiting as we speak to be yelled at by fenris stans for this im not kidding

[solasan]

give me something i can keep

fandom: dragon age ii pairing: anders/female hawke (adelheid) rating: T word count: 2k summary: Meredith is dead, the Chantry is gone. Sailing away from Kirkwall, Anders isn't sure where he and Hawke stand. But if this is his end— well, it's a good one.

It takes them barely an hour to get away to Isabela’s ship.

This is… easier than he’d imagined. Not that he’d imagined it often, really; mostly, the day that he finally put his plan into place, when he thought of it, ended with— well.

It’s a bit doom and gloom, but it would be a lie to claim he expected to survive. Anders has been lying so much lately, and so often, and always to the people who deserve it least; he doesn’t want to do it anymore.

He thinks of Hawke’s furrowed brow when she offered him the ingredients he asked for, her hands pressing over his own and squeezing, her eyes so careful, careful in a way he’s never known her to be—

His stomach drops. It’s been doing that a lot lately.

Isabela doesn’t look at him the same. He— he’d expected that, just like he’d expected Varric’s dry condemnation and Sebastian’s rage, which roared like Andraste’s pyre, like the chantry all aflame over his shoulder. He’d even expected Fenris’ betrayal, in a way, though granted, watching him fall under Hawke’s greatsword hadn’t been as painless as he’d predicted.

That’s the rub of it all, he thinks. At the centre of all his misgivings, all his unease: Hawke’s protection.

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