#im writing this at 4am so if this incoherent im sorry

[folansstuff]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOLAN!!!

i'm so so so glad we became mutuals, interacting with you is always a highlight of my day whether we're cracking jokes, bouncing off ideas with each other, scheming the return of the x-terminators, spreading the illyatticus agenda, or stanning our beloved silly magical blondies with convulated backstories and excellent designs.

i discovered dazzler during a very dark time in my life and she brings me so much joy, and i never thought that appreciating her would lead me to meeting some of the coolest people i wouldn't trade anything in the world for. you're so brilliant in every way that it's incredible and deserves more recognition; atticus and your fanfics live in my mind rent free. you're also very kind and sweet, and you have great vibes.

and your taste? immaculate. magik stans are always a green flag, and i love the music recs you gave me. thanks for being you, you!

many happy returns of the day. i know we met quite recently but i'm so happy and thankful to have you in my life, friend 🩵

SANS MY GOD IM GOING TO CRY

im so glad i met you too! i genuinely had no idea that when i yelled out into the void for recommendations for comics about the x-terminator ladies i would A. get this deep into comics and B. meet some of the absolute coolest people in the world. I re-discovered comics and illyana at a weird time last year and the joy i've derived out of interacting with you and the others has genuinely made my life so much better.

I'm still so amazed and grateful that someone else feels literally any attachment to my silly ocxcanon ship, and im always so happy when you come in with these amazing ideas for them with all the affection you give to actual characters and ships. nothing staves off the potential feelings of cringe than having another super cool person be just as into it. (I am not joking when I say you may blow up my inbox with illyatticus/atti & dazzler friendship stuff whenever, or just ideas! you're a good writer and i like hearing them!)

so the point is thank you sans, i really appreciate it!

(anyway i will now return to your regularly scheduled illyana 'magik' rapsutin/ alison 'dazzler' blaire brainrot by spending today rereading x-terminators and new mutants. I'd say i would do it by thinking about illyana constantly, but i already do)

[healer-pop]

Hi its feral anon,, yet again,, (im so sorry lmao) with the combination of my 4am brain and your recent oral mention, i was suddenly hit with the thoughts of a subby Sloan just begging you for relief while you continuously suckle and lick on their slit teehee literally thinking of them with tears in their eyes and begging sorry <3 (im not sorry) thank you for coming to my ted talk and goodnight i lied before i hit send i had a final thought Sloan is 100% a tease/sadist (not in a physical sense) and the power you must feel getting THEM BEGGING??? PLEADING FOR YOU?? PUTTING THEM IN THE POSITION THEY NEAR CONSTANTLY PUT YOU INTO??? ITS NOT A TRUE FERAL ANON RAMBLE WITHOUT ME GOING FUCKING CRAZY! anyway gn mwah <3 /platonic -feral

i 100% had this in mind when I was writing that scene!!!!! hearing their voice crack as they beg you to make them cum??? the way they slip into Spanish without even intending to and back??? all of their pleas being incoherent, broken sentences???? because you’re literally sucking their brain out?????? JUST GIVE IT TO ME ALREADY 😭

i can’t tell if they’re a sadist in the sense of wanting to embarrass your ass (playfully, ofc!! when its just the two of you) and see you cry for them to touch you or if they just like to drive you crazy until you become like putty under their fingers. def have a power/control kink without even realizing they do — but whether it’s getting dommed or domming you is where they shine as a switch. Domming you is probably their default, but if you take the reins and show them you can make them submit in other ways than physically (bc theyll win that fight -.-) they’re so down for it. teasing wants to turn into brattiness, but they are so whipped for your ass that they can’t even attempt to resist your fingers. or your mouth. hell, pull out a strap yourself and they’ll be wrapped around your leg, begging for it.

I LOVE U FERAL ANON AND I LOVE UR BRAIN!!!!!!!! ALWAYS COOKIN IN YOUR KITCHEN!!!!!!!

[laetare-9]

hi just read all of inhabit up to this point and its literally 4am and im in tears in the best way. completely incoherent so sorry if this makes no sense bc im feeling a lot of things but mostly just thank you. truly. thank you for writing this incredible deeply layered emotionally resonant story about lena and kara. your take on them and the way youve so richly explored this aspect of both of them and their relationship.. ive never seen intimacy so intimate and tender. im in awe. thank you sm!

I’m sorry my writing kept you up so late, but I’m glad those tears are good tears. Thank you for reading and taking the time to leave me this message. Another reader wrote that the way I depicted their relationship sounded like “love without hurt” and you know, despite the inevitable bumps in the roads and hardships, I think that’s pretty accurate and I’m always floored when someone lets me know it worked for them. So, thank you again. See you next chapter (and here’s a tissue) :)

[blue-reimu]

just rambling about some personal feelings tbh

kind of turned into a vent honestly. will probably delete later cause it's literally 4am and that's likely the only reason i'm even slightly comfortable posting this on my main, sorry if anyone stumbles across this and just finds it completely incoherent or something, im really tired right now

sometimes i kind of hate the feeling i get when im passionate about something

ive been obsessed with touhou for a year now and it hasnt gone away. usually my special interests fade out in like.. 3 months but this one has lasted ages, and i have so many thoughts and ideas and just as much passion as i did when i first got into it, but what feels like no way of properly expressing it. at the moment im trying to learn more actively than i used to to learn how to draw humanoids, not just other animals like im used to, cause a lot of my ideas are stuff i can only think to illustrate i guess- so hopefully with time ill be able to get a lot of that stuff out my head in a way im happy with. and i also wanna boot myself back up into making videos and stuff cause i have ideas there, and get back into learning animation, and then there's all the things that i want to just put simply into text form, and all of that is detailed and thought through in my head but actually piecing it together and putting it down coherently is.. so, so hard, not helped at all by my cognitive problems.

and i hate it, i hate my struggle to express all my feelings, because the amount i fixate on something can be so intense it's physically and mentally overwhelming, like having so much love you don't know what to do with yourself but in a way that's actually distressing. but even when it isn't doing all this stuff helps me calm down and keep myself more stable amidst my basically constant daily stress and hypervigilance issues, and i wish i could get it out of my mind in the way i wanted to because that would help too..

i bring touhou into this because like i said, it's been just about exactly a year now, and it hasn't gone away. which has left me with this big buildup of thoughts about characters and things i want to write and art i want to make and all sorts of things that i still care a whole lot about but overwhelm me at times because i dont know how to express that love properly.

it just means a lot to me as a series and im frustrated by my struggle to make that known through my own work. and this happens with almost everything i get into, really. :(