#imstillenkämmerlein

[seakclauswinkler]

Why am I painting? Maybe compensating father son conflicts with in my youth? Repressed sexuality? Not having spend enough time with my father. He had to work alot. The things he later wanted to do with me spending time weren’t my interests. Maybe it was already too late for father son activities. Not being able bringing home girls. My Mom putting down a playboy poster with #Playmateofthemonth i liked. ( She didnt liked her. Putting it down without saying anything). Having to hide my fapping ( self relief) porn magazines, like a forbidden treasure deep with in my room. My parents could have been proactive supportive, practical elaborate with female psychology, #girls, recommendings, advices. Instead of betaisation. Saying nothing, or saying too less. I guess me painting, drawing, sketching, so much. Holding #pens, #brushes, #spraycans, with the finger, always round forms, is similar to mastrubating, selfreflief, fapping. It’s the same gesture. Surface the pron magazine, the bed blanke5, the tissue = paper, canvas, cardboard. I based my #signature small ‘ a ‘ , on my competition pro extra #amiga500 #joystick ( red/ visible window plastic) , as a substitute for my #phallus, reproductive organ. ( #rubberworm ) #ImstillenKämmerlein #Freiheit #freiheiten #socialnorms #repressedsexuality #Vatersohnkonflikte #fathersonconflicts #fathersonrelationship #fathersons #SEAK #ClausWinkler #SEAKClausWinkler #absentfathers #absent #abwesendeväter #vatersohnkonflikt #vatersohnbeziehung #kunst #artistyouth #whyipaint (hier: Germany) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cich87Foi6a/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[seakclauswinkler]

The emotions of phases a painting has. By artist SEAK Claus Winkler - In the past, maybe when pumping up my ego, doing the first outlines, painting a SEAK Style, feeling artificial induced very strong, powerful, grandiose, with a hint caution that all proportions are turning out right. Feeling larger, like a narcissist, while knowing the opposite is the case. Having such masculine raw creative energy in me, that I was happy wearing a 3M spray mask. In that stage, I was avoiding eye contact with others people passing by. People would take the workprocess feelings I was projecting, me being in my own movie propably personal. Iam giving here a negative example. I usual had a friend vibe when starting, peaceful music/ sounds. A ego which already ok. Or I was working against my ego ( amplified by music ), & worked while painting to grounding my ego, humbling myself. Back then I didn’t know about ego identification, the failure identifying with words/ thoughts. - In the beginning exclude myself from the world, by inward directing, calm sounds, non negative vibes, like a audiobook. Like attract like. Do i paint with a sketch, freestyle? What are the circumstances? Am I focused, on my idea/ task? Am i centered with in myself? I often painted without a structure idea, just with colours, I want painting with. I was while painting digging myself within a workflow structure with in a particular painting. - One time in the stage of selling to an artinvestor i don’t know what I was feeling then. I was pacing the confidence, the effect the aquisition had on us unfiltered & amplified in to what could be interpretated as arrogance. That was the last time he invested. On the other hand, he might just bought something because of pitty. the price was too low. Back then I was in debt. #SEAK #ClausWinkler #SEAKClausWinkler #processrituals #reflectingprocess #processreflection #processritual #fühl #creative #kreativ #Kreativität #ego #artistego #wereapwhatwesow #felt #emotion #implizit #originalart #Kunstfühlen #feelingart #WannwelchesGefühl #ImstillenKämmerlein #stillesKämmerlein #notjudging #understandingfeelings #colournuance #colornuance #forms #reflektion (hier: Cologne, Germany) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc5L4JhIweD/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=