#in s10 it felt like none of the characters apart from light of my life Rowena were having ANY fun and s11 has fixed that!

[kerryweaverlesbian]

The pacing of that episode was so rushed lmao. They meet god. They have one deep ish conversation with god. They're bored by god. A bunch of pieces move around the to be in the right place for the final episode but don't do anything or raise the stakes bc the stakes were "everything will die" from episode 1 of s11 and they've just been stalling ineffectually since then.

I've liked a lot of this season to be clear! I don't think there's been an episode, other than the first two and the one of Sam in the Cage, where I didn't enjoy watching it. The finale stakes for the past 2 seasons have just been so flat though. Like I can't expect every season finale set of episodes to be All Hell Breaks Loose parts 1 and 2 but. Give me SOMETHING.

There were no action scenes in this whole episode. In the 'we do violence as a metaphor for interpersonal conflict' show? Strange strange strange choice.

[runtosleepdreamer]

Rewatching SPN 5x04

I don’t know if anyone noticed, though someone probably did, but honestly I’m surprised even I caught it, but when Dean wakes up to the end!verse and looks out the motel room window, there was a sign reading “now playing route 666” and HAH wow just. Idc if that’s the same name as another movie or whatever I’m calling that as a throwback to season 1. But then Dean later saying sympathy for the devil and I KNEW it was an episode title and whoop Callback!!! 🤣

Continuing on the cheery note before I go all angsty, though I never do it the other way around being beyond me (maybe cuz the happy part is easier and shorter.. yeah that’s it) stones!Cas, while sad, was still hilarious. His voice is much higher, as opposed to being all Castiel he’s more jimmy/Misha, whichever... and he laughs at past!Dean... right in front of endverse!Dean’s face... stupidly daringly brave... but funny.

But okay dark moment, I don’t know if this registered around the first time I saw this episode but woah... fuck Cas died didn’t he - in that honest to god suicide mission... woah goddamn endverse!Dean is so... dark and...battleworn

And that brings me to Dean though I wanna point out a couple quick things that are.. eh neutral and then relatively dark

1. Dean in in actual 2014 s9? Totally had a beard but that was probably because of the whole MoC and the thing with Sam... but I don’t know that guaranteed a beard.. though still totally cool that the writers nonetheless wanted him to remain completely similar to past!Dean, more of which I’ll talk about later

2. I found it (inappropriately) ironically hilarious how apparently Bobby is dead in 2014, and sure enough his status is still dead in s9 anyway.. I don’t know man stupid thought that had me surprised at myself but still.

Right. Now. Dean. Jensen. Can I just totally take a moment to appreciate how damn well Jensen acted??? Like, okay, I know, that for some reason Jensen felt like his entire episode’s worth of acting was blown away in comparison to the bit Jared did, and yeah, I’ll get to that, but dude. It’s like. Okay, momentary appreciation/recognition to every good actor/actress, but right now, totally dedicated to Jensen and Jared, for making me completely unable to see or even relate these people to Sam and Dean. Like. When they don these characters, they may share a face, they may share characteristics or personalities or certain behaviors... but it’s as if Sam and Dean are completely their own people vs Jensen and Jared. Like. How

Are

Those

The

Same

Frigging

People

Because dude Jensen especially like... he almost had me crying because I couldn’t even frigging associate past!Dean and endverse!Dean to be the same person, because they were both. So. Completely. DIFFERENT!!!! They were supposed to be the same people but NO Endverse!Dean is so much more battle hardened with all the extra years worth of experience and knowledge and pain and trauma and responsibilities (which again, totally far more similar to s9 Dean.. though s9 Dean was still lighter than s10 Dean so maybe s10!Dean and endverse!Dean was the closest but whatever anyway) that compared to him, past!Dean seems so much more innocent and lighter, even though standing alone he still has his own share of burdens and pain, and yet it’s nothing to what endverse!Dean had endured. Just.

And because of that. It makes them both. Completely. Different. People. And Jensen? He did a frigging amazing job - more than! No words in my fairly limited vocabulary can describe his outstanding skills, because it physically boggled my mind just to think that this was both the same person... and yet portrayed by someone completely different who still manages to more than just capture the essence, but deliver it with quality that exceeds anything and everything.

On a few more side notes, again, one light and one dark with a neutral one in between if you ask me:

1. The scent between past!Dean vs endverse!Dean when they first meet was awesome, nerve racking, tense, jittery inducing... and. Hilarious. For the life of me I will never be able to keep a straight face, nor will I be able to stay still when Dean reveals the one thing only Dean would know.. with that frigging smirk and everything, to which endverse!Dean replies with, ‘Touche’... just.

2. Of course Dean wouldn’t believe himself - duh! (But you’d think that because of that, he would know better and that obviously, he’d still find a way out...)

3. But then, when they’re at that cabin with the map and Cas being hilarious and all... but then they leave and it’s just the Deans and such a heart wrenching moment between the two and killing me with the performance... AS IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, they gotta add in some painful piano music as well, and dude, let me tell y’all something, there’s a reason I love the piano even though I can’t play worth shit, and that’s because it’s like. Almost always the perfect instrument no matter what, and heightens the visual experience...

But when it’s angst playing out on the screen?

I might be considered to be lost if I’m paying attention to the music in particular as opposed to what’s happening in front of me, but dudes, that’s only to acknowledge it and let it fill me with the pain.

Torturous.

Anyway.

I think.. I can move on to Jared now? I think... I covered everything...

Dude. He’s still a good actor though. Like. He definitely. Was not Jared at that moment. And calling him Sam also was like. Okay maybe it struck to close to Sam on demon blood.. and I don’t know I’m just used to seeing lucifer as Mark Pellegrino... but...

Hearing the story of how Satan became Satan from a frigging tv show should not have made me that thoughtful or emotional.

And yet. He managed it.

So yeah. I felt my heart break right alongside Dean’s at that moment, though of course never to that extent.

Zachariah sure does have a thing with zapping Dean to places - like alternate universes (😉😏😏😏) though, doesn’t he..

And Castiel saving him right. On. Time. And just. That satisfied smile or whatever just had me cheering for Castiel because god it was just.

Don’t

Ever

Change

But HAH when Dean picks up the phone and he thinks it’s Cas and the way he replies “dammit Cas I need to sleep!” And it’s all gruff and he’s still pretty happy relatively speaking and more.. not elated but loose limbed I guess, hunting with Cas, and it all disappears the moment he realizes it’s Sam speaking, and hence commence the angst fest.

And ah. That’s what I wanted to talk about since the beginning of the episode.

Honestly, I felt like they were just pushed into working back together again, and because of everything that was happening around them, with Dean working so fervently towards changing the damn future.. again, I might have mentioned it before, but if I haven’t, well. It’s like Sam and Dean were forced to reconcile because of external circumstances, which, I may not be well versed in psychology or all that, but it still didn’t strike me as healthy.

Like, yeah, Dean not talking to Sam ended up in him saying yes to Lucifer or whatever, but that ended up with the Croats and all (Croats!!! Dean and lingo and confused Dean but then comprehension dawning on him!!), so because of that, it’s like Dean has to work - no, muddle and struggle through to hurry up and salvage their relationship, just for the sake of/because the damn world and it’s future rested on their shoulders. So yeah, the way they had to push through all that... while I mean, it worked in the end?

Maybe it also didn’t. Maybe.. maybe it could have been better if they actually did spend some time apart (and wait, before y’all attack me for saying this) because Dean had to work through his pain of betrayal, and Sam through his own pains as well, but they were forced to do that together, and maybe it worked, maybe it just went to pushing them closer together all the way in the end...

Or maybe they should have been able to work through some of their problems on their own. Granted, it obviously could have also meant that they never would have reconciled ever again, but that was also another aspect of the apocalypse, wasn’t it? Dean decides they should never be together again, resulting in Sam saying yes to Lucifer, but that’s only because Dean thought they’d actually have a chance if they weren’t fighting together

But take out the MAJOR apocalypse factor (in which case honestly I don’t even think this problem would have been there in the first place but anyway)

But say that for the time being it wasn’t there, and they had sometime to figure out their problems on their own. Okay, yeah, chances are apart from a bunch of angsty moments where Dean recalls Sam’s memory, because mo matter what he’s only ever truly happy with Sammy by his side... but overall, in the hunting life? He’s a lot a more relaxed/less stressed, more likely to smile when he didn’t have to constantly worry about Sam and the demon blood and the secrets and the lies and the broken trusts which okay no apocalypse no demon blood none of this but still

But still. It could have soothed the pain enough, because yes, Dean is one to hold a grudge as much as he forgives easily, depending on the situation and this calling for both cuz it’s his brother but the deed committed was as bad as they are close as if to get their relationship... time still would have weathered away at Dean, enough to chip away at least enough anger for them to work through it somewhat more easily than they did.

And the same goes for Sam. Yes, he’d have maybe felt even more guilty, or maybe he’d have found another way of redemption, to find peace within himself, but eventually... eventually he would not only be more on par with wanting to make amends with Dean, which in a way, he already does, though in 5x04 no that wasn’t his main concern... but not only that but he’d be more at ease.. more easily susceptible to having a proper conversation, without as much as the angst that tore our hearts as it did in the show.

..yup. That’s about it. I’m surprised if anyone even read this far, honestly, this was just a way to get my own thoughts outta my head, but hey, if anyone read it 🤷‍♀️😁👌🏽😄😅