#in your absence (rebuilding the memory of goldfish dreams)

[pokimoko]

For the ask game May I ask: 18, 22, and 35? Love u bird overlord you make me toss my marbles into the sea everytime I read one of your creations💖

Hello my favourite bird underling! Lovely to see you pop by. :D Let's answer some queries! 18. Do I enjoy research? DO I ENJOY RESEARCH???? YES! I love researching! I will spend hours just researching for fics (even if, ahem, that researching is just watching movies and shows that relate to the fic's concept) because I like using those little details to enhance the story itself or alternatively as a source of inspiration. As for which story required the most research, that would definitely have to be I've Heard That Song Before. For that one fic, I ended up researching *deep breath* Hungarian geography and history, 1940s culture (predominantly music), Marvel comic lore, WW2 history, 1940s military letters and equipment, baseball, national parks, swing dancing, Russian poetry and history, Pluto (my beloved), Jewish culture and writings, Roma culture, Greek mythology, and just a whole bunch of other things. I ended up having History Notes at the end of every chapter because of all the research I did for that story, because I just wanted to share all the cool and important things I learnt during the writing process. So yeah, research is a friend of mine. I think every fic deserves at least some research. 22. When do I title fics during the writing process? Hm. It depends. I usually have an idea in mind before I start a fic, and sometimes that sticks for the whole thing (like perilune, which was a word I'd been wanting to use as a fic title ever since I discovered it) but I usually go through several variations throughout the writing process until I end up with one I like and that I think fits the story best. For example, In Your Absence (Rebuilding the Memory of Goldfish Dreams) had several names, in terms of the bracket bit. It started as In Your Absence (I Will Try to Stay Present) to IYA (I'll Find My Way Back to You) to IYA (All That's Left is The Ghost of Me), which is was for a few weeks before I decided to lean on the fishbowl metaphor (and the dialogue: "I wonder what fishes dream about") and switched to IYA (Seeking the Memory of Goldfish Dreams) until finally landing on the title it is now. In the Absent Place (Listening to Silence on the Radio) started as The Absence of Others (and Why We Pretend That’s Okay), then The House We Call Home (and Why We Must Keep It Spotless), then This House of Ours (And Other Things That Don’t Exist) and quite a few other variations of these until a line of dialogue from the show 'Legion' (from 2x05: "I was in the absent place, and then I just…There she was, in the mirror, looking back at me.") inspired the first part, and the game 'Oxenfree' (which involves radios and ghosts and is just amazing) inspired the second part of the title. So to answer how I come up with names, it's a lot of experimentation and outside inspiration. 35. Can't believe you're making me decide on one fic as my favourite. Cruel of you, don't you know all of them are my babies (*pointedly not looking at my pre-2019 stuff*). I think I'll go with The Absence of Fear simply because I am so proud of how it turned out, and because of the fact it kickstarted my Moon Knight writing (and the ESOTAM series which I have loved making so much). It'll always have a special place for me for that reason. Also I wrote that baby in like 3 nights and god, I don't think I've reached that hectic pace ever since. I was a writer possessed for that story and that story alone. Ask me fanfic questions!