#incorrect daiharu

[huachengslastbraincell]

Daisuke: Can’t you at least try and look at things from my point of view?

Suzue and Haru: [Crouches down to Daisuke's height]

Daisuke: I hate you both.

[bsdtual]

Daisuke: Be gay, do crimes, and fvck the police!

Haru: we are tHE POLICE!!

[viva-la-rivailleucion]

Daisuke: How much is the horse tornado?

Haru: T-that’s a carousel.

Daisuke, already utilising HEUSC: I must have it.

[h0m0phobia-is-gay]

Haru: Do you take constructive critism?

Daisuke: I only take cash or credit.

[incorrectfkbu]

Haru: *exists*

Mcptf team: *blames everything on him*

Cho-san: *asks for his help then yells at him*

Fist Division: *uses him to investigate Daisuke*

Daisuke: *doesn't tell him anything*

Haru: I'm straight up not having a good time

[daisukes-creditcard]

daisuke: This tea tastes exquisite and exotic, what is it called?

haru: I call it, boiled gatoradé

[syll-simpsss]

Daisuke: I can be your sugar daddy.

Haru: Go away, Kambe! Can't you see I'm trying to write our last case's report here-

Daisuke: Your fructose father?

Daisuke: Your glucose guardian?

Daisuke: Your polysaccharide parent?

Daisuke: Your carbohydrate caretaker?

Haru: (ꐦ°᷄д°᷅)

[onabikaa]

[thisismytrashok]

suzue: ...and as for the design of the parachute I'm uncertain... It looks plain! I thought about adding a character describing Daisuke's best character traits.

haru: This is is easy, he only has one.

[shuotaizawa]

fkbu episode 3

expectations: two bros going on a trip to hong kong and spending 𝓆𝓊𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓎 time together

reality: sugar daddy introducing his sugar baby to his grandma. they also defuse a hostage situation together like an off-brand Mr and Mrs Smith

[huachengslastbraincell]

Haru & Daisuke: *Playing Among Us*

Daisuke: *In chat* Vote for Haru's Color.

Haru: What?? Why me??

Daisuke: You’re pretty sus for stealing my heart.

Haru: *Haru Was Not the Impostor* I hate you.

[evieonic]

Haru: God, give me patience.

Daisuke: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Haru: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

[sabe-e]

check out the haru exclusive version 

[daiiharu]

Suzue: Haru kissed you... and you said thank you?

Daisuke, lying face down: Yes.

Suzue: Well... that was weirdly polite of you.

[incorrectfkbu]

Hoshino: how do you plan to solve the case

Daisuke: *Couldn't care less*

Hoshino: Kambe Shigemaru is on that ship

Daisuke: *Doesn't give a flying f*ck*

Hoshino: So is Kato-

Daisuke: NANI?!

[supremekingofsalvation]

[In a meeting]

Daisuke, whispering: pshh

Haru: ???

Daisuke, still whispering: your ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it

Haru: leAVE ME ALONE