#incorrect rogue trader quotes

[dairine-bonnet]

In the game:

Abelard: For Von Valancius!

Heinrix: The Inquisition sends their regards!

After the game and after (if) Heinrix becomes RT's Master of Whispers:

Heinrix: The Von Valancius send their regards!

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

Pasqal: Rogue Trader, I require your input on an investigation I am undertaking.

Rogue Trader: Shoot.

Pasqal: Ballistics will not be necessary.

Rogue Trader: ...

Pasqal: How long would you hypothesize a Drukhari male specimen of indeterminate height and weight might sustain its vital functions when encased in a vat of - what laypeople call - "mold slime stew?"

Rogue Trader: Magos, where is Marazhai?

Pasqal: That information is unnecessary in order for you to provide your input.

Rogue Trader: Pasqal!

Pasqal: Perhaps I will seek the input of another. May the Omnissiah bless you, Lord Captain.

Rogue Trader: PASQAL! WHAT THE FUCK!

[rats-and-robots]

Marazhai: Be right back! RT: Will you? Marazhai: Who can know these things? RT: You! You can know these things!

[dairine-bonnet]

Do you know that feeling when one barely utters a few sentences or even a few words only, and you instantly get an urge to see them pierced by lightning coming out of your fingers? Personally, I have this feeling when incompetent people are telling me what to do...

[dairine-bonnet]

Some time after visiting Commorragh

*Rogue Trader, Cassia and Jae are sitting in Rogue Trader's study, enjoying amasec and discussing casual things*

RT, very relaxed and slightly drunk *giving Cassia's some 'useful' advice*: ...and you can't let a random guy go into your bedroom. You know, someone unreliable. For security reasons, of course.

Jae *innocently*: Then why do you invite our Interrogator to your bedroom from time to time, shereen?

Rogue Trader *choking on amasec and somehow trying to sober up instantly*: In case someone else decides to sneak in there... someone truly unreliable, certainly!

[dairine-bonnet]

Heinrix van Calox: Lord Captain. I need an explanation. What are you doing? No, that's not even the right question - do you realize what you are doing?

Rogue Trader *muttering in discontent*: What's the point in asking that? I assume, you are going to explain immediately what I am doing... from your point of view, hah!

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

Idira: So, Heinrix. Big spoon or little spoon?

Heinrix: *Visible confusion.* Excuse me?

Idira: With the Lord Captain, Iceman. Are you the big spoon or little spoon?

Heinrix: I am the Rogue Trader's sword and shield, her defender and protector.

Rogue Trader: *Walking by sipping on recaf.* Little spoon.

Idira: *Laughing* You're her sword, alright!

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

Heinrix: But did you have to stab him before he told us the passcode?

Lord Captain: I don't need you to go all Interrogator on me, right now. Was I caught in a moment of profound weakness which resulted in a less-than-ideal decision? Possibly. But you weren't here, and you didn't hear what he said!

Heinrix: What did he say?

Lord Captain: "What are you going to do? Stab me?"

Heinrix: ...

Lord Captain: So I had to stab him!

Pasqal: This logic is accepted.

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

Rogue Trader: Hey, Argenta? Can I ask you a theological question?

Sister Argenta: Of course, Rogue Trader. I would be glad to share my knowledge of spiritual doctrine with one of His most dutiful servants. Ask your question.

Rogue Trader: In theory, and completely hypothetical, would it be considered an act of heresy to eat a slice of peat-toast after seeing an image of the Emperor on it?

Sister Argenta: Did the God-Emperor bless you with a vision of His likeness? That is most extraordinary. May I see it?

Rogue Trader: I think I need to ammend my question...

Sister Argenta: Did...did you consume an item that bore the holy resemblance of our most virtuous savior upon it?

Rogue Trader: ...I was really hungry.

Sister Argenta: *Righteous and judgmental silence.*

Rogue Trader: Can I ask you another question?

Sister Argenta: What, Rogue Trader?

Rogue Trader: You think I'll get some of His powers?

Sister Argenta: *Sound of bolter being cocked.*

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

Yrliet: Mon-keigh, I have noticed you rely on humor to deflect from having to deal with trauma.

Rogue Trader: Thank you!

Yrliet: That was not a compliment.

Rogue Trader: What I'm hearing is you think I'm hilarious.

[rats-and-robots]

Instead of spamming the tag with a shitton of incorrect quotes I'm just gonna make one big post.

(submissive Marazhai romance)

---

Marazhai: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Von Valancius: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

---

Von Valancius: You know, there’s only one person who can tell you what you are.

Marazhai: Me.

Von Valancius: No.

Von Valancius: Me.

---

Von Valancius: What’s your body count?

Marazhai: Do you mean sex or murder?

---

Von Valancius: Stay foxy.

Marazhai: Die lonely.

---

Von Valancius: That’s a crazy idea. Insane. It doesn’t make sense.

Marazhai: You’ll do it?

Von Valancius: Of course.

---

Von Valancius: I think I'm falling for you.

Marazhai: Then get up.

---

Von Valancius: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Marazhai: What changed your mind?

Von Valancius: Oh, now I know that you’re a fake bitch. Why do you ask?

---

Von Valancius: I love you.

Marazhai, not paying attention: What was that?

Von Valancius: I said I’m selling you to the zoo-

---

Marazhai: We wouldn’t last two minutes without the Rogue Trader.

Marazhai:

Marazhai: Don’t tell them I said that.

---

Von Valancius: I am in charge of this disaster!

Marazhai: I have a name, you know.

---

Von Valancius: That was so hot, Marazhai.

Marazhai: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

Von Valancius: I know.

---

Von Valancius: Marazhai and I are no longer dating.

Marazhai: Rogue Trader, that’s a horrible way of telling people you branded me.

---

Marazhai: I have feelings for you.

Von Valancius: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

Four's Masterlist of Fics

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Bit About Me:

You can call me Four.

She/Her

Writer who wishes she could draw/paint, so I live vicariously through my talented artist mutuals.

Currently, I've got an ongoing Warhammer 40k: Rogue Trader fic (Heinrix x RT), as well as some Baldur's Gate 3 fics (Astarion x Durge).

I write fanfiction for myself as a way to decompress from life and because I enjoy sharing my stories with others. It legitimately makes my day when someone is entertained by my writing, so thank you for every comment, like, message and kudo. Much love and appreciation to you all!

Ao3 Account - All of my fanfic works are crossposted to Ao3.

BG3 Incorrect Quotes - If you're here for BG3 Incorrect Quotes, follow that link for the masterlist.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Rogue Trader - - -

Ongoing Work

Mongrel Hearts / Read on Ao3 Current Rating: M Updates: Weekly on Fridays Playlist & Chapter Index Heinrix van Calox is a watchdog of the Inquisition. Bound by duty and fueled by a deep-seeded shame, he continues to serve the Imperium the only way he’s ever been allowed, on the tight line of a leash. Obedient and steadfast, Heinrix has always been eager to prove himself. And yet, no amount of accolades or praise will ever assuage him from feeling like a vile cur, simply grateful to not have been put down. Visenya von Valancius is a void wolf. Forced by circumstance into an existence where she has had to fight for every breath, she dreams of freedom from the tireless hunters who stalk her footsteps and seek her ruin. Thrust once more into a life she did not ask for, Visenya must now lead those who once saw her as nothing more than a mongrel. Both are strays in a war-torn galaxy, simply seeking a place to belong.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

One Shots

Hello My Demise: An incident in the Lord Captain's chambers on Janus concludes with Heinrix and Visenya sharing a moment of levity. You Feel It Too: Heinrix and Visenya share a close moment before her Magnae Accessio. Stay: (E NSFW18+) A heated conversation turns into a night of passion between Heinrix and Visenya. However, in the darkness of the night that follows, Heinrix is unable to escape the fears and anxieties that push in on him from all sides.

Mongrel Hearts Artwork:

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Beautiful depiction of the scene from Chapter 4 by @nananarc

Cute domestic scene of Visenya and Heinrix by @sanzosin

Portrait of Visenya by @jaal-ama-daravv

Portrait of Visenya and Fenrisian Wolf Skull Nomos by @thatzombiecat

Baldur's Gate 3 - - -

One Shots

In chronological order:

Fall for Me ---> Faint of Heart ---> Midnight Prayer

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Fall for Me Rating: E NSFW18+ Astarion wakes from a nightmare and goes to Eli, seeking reassurance as he struggles with the denial of his feelings. The last thing he wants to do is give someone else control over him, not after he’s so recently regained a taste of freedom. Over the past 200 years, every relationship Astarion was involved in had been nothing more than a means to an end, with Astarion either playing the role of manipulator or the one being manipulated. Attachments were leverage, giving someone a hook they were able to dig their claws into in order to gain ground. Isolating himself from connecting with others was how he had survived.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Faint of Heart Rating: M Somewhere along the way, more and more truth has begun to slip into the words Astarion has been using to charm Eli into his bed. He's not sure when it started, but sometime between their passionate nights and hard fought days, genuine feelings began to stir. It all comes to a head after the crew stages a prison break out of Moonrise Towers. Now, during a rare evening of respite, Astarion is determined to make a confession, regardless of his fears over the fallout.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Midnight Prayer Rating: M Neither Eli nor Astarion knows what they're doing when it comes to romance. Their combined histories with healthy relationships adds up to an unsurprising total of zero. Astarion once admitted to Eli that he couldn’t remember ever bedding the same person twice. And Eli…well, she can't remember anything, frankly. Her memories of past lovers are nonexistent…at least… At least until today. Today, when they’d finally met the infamous Enver Gortash.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Ongoing Work:

Head Full of Ghosts: On Hiatus Current Rating: M Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 Eli has spent a lot of time combing through her fractured psyche, trying to piece together any semblance of facts about who she was before she awoke on a mind flayer nautiloid. In all that self-reflection, she has concluded there are two things she is very good at. Killing people and drinking. Neither of which is proving very useful as she tries to navigate interpersonal pitfalls after being appointed leader of a ragtag group of maladjusted misfits who are trying to source a cure for the illithid tadpoles in their heads. As if that isn't problematic enough, she's also having to contend with the growing affections between herself and the group's resident vampire spawn, Astarion. Between fanatic cultists, goblin raids, murderous urges and cryptic memory loss, Eli figures a relationship is the last thing she ought to get herself wrapped up in. And from what she's seen of Astarion, the cavalier rogue seems to have his own breeds of specters haunting his steps. Neither one of them has any business mucking about with romance. But, neither one of them is particularly good at staying away from things that entice.