#inspired by god of war! heavily! there are SEVERAL references in this piece

[buttfrovski]

barbarian tweek!

lots of close-ups cuz i don't trust tumblrs upload quality

[geekygoo]

Finally gathered up the courage to post this!! I had a major autism moment and reimagined Dragonforce's current members as WOY characters! This is my first finished piece with a background in a LONG time.

There's so much I can say about my process... and that's why I'm gonna do that below!!

This is the original concept lineup!! From left to right: Herman Li, Sam Totman, Marc Hudson, Gee Anzalone, and Alicia Vigil (they'll have silly woy-i-fied names eventually I just gotta think of em)

Herman and Sam are the only dragons in this lineup since they're the only ones that've been there since the beginning! they're also kind of the founding members of dragonforce lol

Herman's design is heavily based on DF's mascot! I forgot his name but he's this super awesome metallic dragon who tells jokes

I'm a bit sad I didn't get to show off Sam's golden teeth in the final image, but they're there because, in the band he was in before co-founding Dragonforce, he was known as Heimdall, a Norse god that had golden teeth himself. (Or maybe they just reflect this WoYified Sam's addiction to Thunder Blazz.)

Marc's design was somewhat inspired by one alien design in their "Troopers of the Stars" shirt, hence the eye shape, pink shirt, and mouth scar! I picked that character specifically since it's the one with a speech bubble saying some of TotS's lyrics-- fitting since he's the vocalist!

I had a few ideas in mind for Gee. Originally, he was gonna be a tree monster with several arms and bushy (literally) hair, but I decided to go with a fluffy, cuddly demon vibe instead

I knew I was gonna give Alicia some kind of jellyfish motif ever since I looked at some of the hats she's worn. I even included some references to the Portuguese Man o' War since she's the lead singer/bassist of her own band, Vigil of War!

[singular-yike]

Got anything on either of the Adagumos?

Most certainly~! Yaorochi and Saragimaru are quite interesting characters, we see them at the very end of their personal stories, right as they settle into their final states. So I'll be analysing them along with their backstory, here we go!

Descendant of Orochi — Adagumo no Yaorochi

Final Eye — Adagumo no Saragimaru

Origin: Ancient Clan Leader

Yaorochi and Saragimaru were born from the corpse of a leader of a powerful clan that once ruled over several states. This clan was even granted the Tasouken by the heavens, a sword of immense power forged by Yago Ametsukana, which further boosted their power.

Jealous and fearful of them, some other clans threw a false celebration for the clan's leader and gave them extremely strong saké. Once they had gotten wasted, they seized their chance and slayed them. Even dead, they refused to let go of the Tasouken, so they cut the body into pieces and stole the sword along with the arm.

It is from this severed corpse, that the seven Adagumo siblings spawned. Yaorochi transformed from the arm that held the sword, and Saragimaru from an eye. The siblings vowed to recover the Tasouken, exact vengeance upon their enemies, and finally revive the clan. Then, they went on their separate ways.

Serpentine Inspiration: Yamata no Orochi

This story, along with the characters of the clan leader, Yaorochi and Saragimaru themselves, is heavily based on the famous Japanese monster Yamata-no-Orochi (八岐大蛇 eight-branched great snake). A fearsome, eight-headed and eight-tailed serpentine monster who was slain by the Shinto god Susanoo.

Depicted below: Susanoo (centre panel) slaying Yamata-no-Orochi (mainly left panel) and saving Kushinadahime (right panel)

In order to defeat Yamata-no-Orochi, Susanoo had the serpent drink a potent saké that put it to sleep, after which he cut it up into pieces.

When cutting open one of its tails, he found within a sword, Ame-no-Murakumo-no-Tsurugi (天叢雲剣 heavenly sword of gathering clouds), which would later be renamed Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi (草薙剣grass-cutting sword).

Both of these are, according to Yaorochi, misnomers given to the sword by the people who stole it and the humans later down history, and that its one and only true name is the Tasouken.

Yamata-no-Orochi's association with the number eight is played with in the case of the Adagumos, there are only 7 of them and Yaorochi themself only has 7 tails, a point that Kuroji Shitodo uses to taunt Yaorochi, calling them a "Yamata-no-Orochi wannabe" and a "defective product".

Curiously, this does seem to imply that our version of the Yamata-no-Orochi tale exists in the world of Len'en as well, and is treated as a warped telling of true history.

In one account of the tale in the Nihon Shoki, Japan's second earliest chronicle of its history, it is said that clouds constantly gather above Yamata-no-Orochi. This is likely where the Adagumo's get their association with clouds from, seen in their cloud-related abilities as well as their surname Adagumo (徒雲 fleeting, vanishing clouds).

In addition, the Kojiki, Japan's earliest chronicle of its history, uses the less popular 八岐遠呂智 to write Yamata-no-Orochi, which is what the name Yaorochi (八尾呂智) is based on.

Separation: Lost at Sea

In the seven Adagumos' searches for the Tasouken, all but Yaorochi and Saragimaru lost their lives. While Yaorochi stayed ever-focused on their quest, Saragimaru, distraught at the loss of all their other siblings, turned to obsess over Yaorochi instead.

One day, the Tasouken fell into the ocean, and that presented Yarochi with their first chance to recover it. Without hesitation, they took the plunge after the sword and was lost to the sea.

Saragimaru, having lost their reason to live, sat idly by the very ocean Yaorochi drowned in. Years had past when suddenly, Yaorochi emerged from the ocean, the Tasouken in hand, though rusted.

Historical Inspiration: Jishō–Juei War

Now for the more obscure reference in the two's story, the Jishō–Juei War (治承・寿永の乱). More commonly known in English as the Genpei War (源平合戦), it was a national civil war fought between the Taira and Minamimoto clans over who would have control of the Emperor.

Most famously, this conflict along with other stories surrounding it was made into an epic known as The Tale of the Heike (平家物語), Heike being another way to refer to the Taira clan.

What's important to us is the climax of the war at the Battle of Dan-no-ura, when the Minaminoto had cornered the Taira at sea. The Taira refused to let the then-Emperor Antoku (安徳天皇), a young boy at the age of 5, fall under Minaminoto control.

His grandmother, Taira no Tokiko ordered the three imperial regalias to be thrown into the ocean, the Kusanagi among them, took the young boy and jumped into the ocean. This event is likely the same one where Yaorochi dove into the ocean after the Tasouken.

Depicted below: Young Emperor Antoku, playing with a diabolo

Yaorochi was indeed partially based on Emperor Antoku, the obvious dive into the ocean aside, Antoku's familial relation to the Taira is also referenced with Yaorochi. Yaorochi claims that they are indeed related to Fumikado through Masakado, whose mother is said to have been a giant serpent. (By the same logic, the rest of the Adagumos should be as well.)

Historical Inspiration: After the War

After the conclusion of the war, Antoku's death left the throne to be filled by his half-brother, Emperor Go-Toba (後鳥羽天皇). His immediate ascension left him as the first Japanese Emperor at this point in history to have ascended the throne without all three regalia.

Depicted below: Emperor Go-Toba, Antoku's half-brother

Emperor Go-Toba is wildly rumored to have developed a complex over him not having ascended the throne with all three imperial regalias, in particular in regards to the missing sword.

This obsession with swords is believed to have fed his later enthusiasm for swordplay and swordsmithing. His patronage of the latter was so great that he is said to have given rise to Japan's "Golden Age" of bladesmithing.

This obsession with swords, in particular the Kusanagi, is likely referenced in Yaorochi's obsession over the Tasouken. (Although in the latter's case it was because they were born out of the arm that they were obsessed with the Tasouken)

Go-Toba's patronage of and obsession with bladesmithing may also have inspired Saragimaru commissioning Sukune Katano for the replica Tasouken, as well as their seemingly extensive knowledge about the sword.

Mugenri: Settling Down

Just to wrap things up, let's take a lot at the end of their stories. True to the Tasouken's ability to "sever relations", the Adagumos' separate search for the sword had completely torn the siblings apart, with Yaorochi even having almost completely forgotten the existence of their siblings.

Yaorochi, despite having found the sword, was left with a void in their heart, and abandoned the rest of their mission: To exact revenge on the clans that killed the original clan leader and re-establish their old clan. Yaorochi simply lived the rest of their days idly.

Saragimaru continued watching over their last sibling, seeing their change from hollow and lifeless right after retrieving the sword to their refreshed state after letting go of their mission. However, they would lose sight of them one day.

They both managed to separately wander into Mugenri, and upon seeing Yaorochi again, Saragimaru noticed that the void left in the latter's heart by the Tasouken still remained and commissioned a replica from Sukune. Instructing them to include a magical inscription they bought from Tenkai to seal the Tasouken's power, if ever it was to be transferred into the replica.

Scared to collect the replica and present it to Yaorochi, this left Yaorochi to chance upon the sword themself, realize that all they ever wanted was the sword and nothing else, and the rest is history.

Ending Things Off

The tale of Yaorochi and Saragimaru is a bit of a bittersweet one. They never have, and likely never will, truly reunite with one another Even still, they have each found their own, perhaps slightly twisted, happiness.

Yaorochi finally reunited with their beloved sword in its full glory, and Saragimaru can finally watch over a Yaorochi with the void in their heart filled. This will likely be the status quo for them for a very long time, but, as we've seen in their long history, nothing is ever quite set in stone.

Yaorochi, now fulfilled, is once again starting to open up their heart to others, becoming good friends with Sukune. (Although the war in BPoHC did flare up their paranoia a bit.)

As for Saragimaru, though they're content to single-mindedly watch over Yaorochi for the rest of time, fate seems to have different plans in store for them, having been snatched up by Kuroji Shitodo to do their bidding.

Though they may protest, it would seem that somewhere in their heart, they do enjoy the new company, and think the Shitodos to be a good way to kill time, at least.

It would seem that they are both coming to slowly open their hearts up to others, no longer letting their respective obsessions be their entire existence. We can only hope, that this leads them to a better, happier future :)

[kaiawrites]

Satisfied

James Potter x fem!reader

Word count: 1.5k

Summary: You go to a party and meet the man of your dreams, but James Potter seems way to good to be true, there has to be a catch.

Warnings: kind of angsty, my bad writing as usual

a/n: This is a weird post Hogwarts au where Lily has a huge crush on James instead of the other way around. This is also heavily inspired by the song “Satisfied” from the Hamilton musical.

I also had a few more ideas for this so if anyone wants a part 2 just say so :)

—————————

You knew you shouldn’t have come to this party, but Lily had roped you into it, saying this guy who she had gone to Hogwarts would be there. You had heard countless things about him despite having never met him, you had grown up in France and had attended Beauxbatons, and had met Lily upon arriving in London, she was your flatmate.

She had been invited to this fancy party, but as soon as you both had arrived, Lily had been whisked away by her school friends and had left you all alone in this enormous ballroom illuminated by dream like candle light. You were used to these types of parties, you were from a pure blood french family after all, and your parents loved showing off their wealth and the well mannered daughter you were. You were usually quite comfortable in this setting, often seen dazzling around the room, but today was different, as you knew absolutely nobody here. You started walking around, keeping an eye on Lily so that you could find her again once she was done with the group of giggling girls who were fawning over her beautiful teal gown.

You had been so preoccupied with keeping Lily in your line of sight that you hadn’t noticed the person right in front of you.

“Oh god i’m so sorry notice you, all my apologies sir,” you said after bumping into the man in front of you. You looked up at him and all breath left your lungs. He was beautiful. He had beautiful intelligent hazel eyes, unruly curly dark brown hair, and smooth dark golden brown skin.

“No worries, I wasn’t paying attention either,” he said and, merlin even his voice was perfect. You racked your brain for something to say, but you were left speechless by the man in front of you.

“You strike me, as a woman who has never been satisfied,” he added, and you might have come up with a better response if you weren’t still so shocked.

“Pardon me?” You said making him chuckle deeply and making blood rush to your face.

“You’re like me, i’m never satisfied,” he repeated.

“Is that right?” You answered tauntingly.

“I have never been satisfied,” he declared.

“My name is y/n l/n,” you said.

“James Potter,” he answered, gently taking your hand in his bigger one, bringing it up to his lips and kissing your knuckles lightly, making your heart skip several beats.

“Where are you from? I’ve never seen you around here, and Sirius has definitely never mentioned you because i’m sure I would’ve remembered you,” he said teasingly, and it set your heart aflame.

“Sirius?” You questioned him.

“Oh yeah, Sirius Black my best mate, I reckon you’ve heard of him, he’s the one who threw this party,” explain James. Indeed you had heard of Sirius Black, the disowned blood traitor of the noble house of Black. Your father was acquainted with Orion Black, and he had gone on for days about how much of a disgrace Sirius was to your siblings and you and that if one of you ever ended up like him, you would be much worse than disowned. You, of course, didn’t think less of him for that, you frankly couldn’t care less about blood statuses.

“Oh yes I've heard of him, but i’m actually here with my flatmate,” you turned around gesturing towards the general direction of Lily and her friends.

“I’m actually from France, I've just moved here a few months ago,” you explained to him, still abnormally quiet, you weren’t usually one to get flustered, but this man had you tongue tied, like you would forget your own name any moment now, and you felt like every part of you was aflame with some blissful feeling.

Too soon, James had to excuse himself and left to go talk to his group of friends in which you recognized Sirius Black.

You felt like you were on cloud nine. Your conversation at lasted two, maybe three minutes but you were absolutely infatuated with the man. James Potter, even his name sounded great. Still slightly dazed about your encounter with the charming man, you didn’t notice Lily make her way towards you.

“Y/n there you are!” she exclaimed cheerily making you smile, Lily had to be the sweetest person you had ever met.

“Oh look! There he is, James,” she said excitedly pointing towards the place James Potter had just left, and then it clicked. James, James Potter. He was the man Lily was always going on about. All the blood rushed out of your face, and you felt your heart plummet to the bottom of your stomach, breaking into a million pieces at the impact. She had only ever referenced to him as James, and even if James was a fairly common name, you felt stupid to not have realized it was that James.

“Oh god i’m so helpless,” said Lily, looking towards the man of your dreams with adoring eyes. “I wish he would notice me,” she said sighing.

“Do you want me to go talk to him for you?” you asked before mentally slapping yourself. What were you thinking? Nice going y/n you thought to yourself. This man may very well have been the love of your life, were you really willing to give him away for Lily?

“You would really do that for me?” Lily asked, her emerald eyes full of pure hope, and you knew by the look in your eyes that, yes, you were willing to to let him go for Lily. You would never find anyone as trusting or as kind, and you could tell she loved him, probably more than you did, or at least differently.

You gave her a warm smile, behind which you were hiding a broken heart, and you gave her a wink before heading towards James Potter.

You breathed in deeply before placing your hand on his shoulder to notify him of your presence. When he turned around and noticed you, he gave you a grin that somehow made your heart break even more.

“Miss y/l/n, how can I help you?” He asked charmingly.

“Mr Potter,” you said with a polite smile.

“Do you like it?” He asked suddenly.

“What?” you answered confusedly.

“My last name, I was wondering if you liked it because it might be yours someday,” he said with a wink and a teasing smirk, and you choked on air.

When you didn’t say anything, the smile slipped from James face.

“I’m sorry, i’m coming on to strong aren’t I?” he asked with a disappointed look you hated seeing on his face.

“Oh no it’s alright,” you assured him, desperate to erase the look from his face.

“I- uh- would you just follow me?” You asked him, a little embarrassed.

“Of course, where are you taking me?” He asked as he took your arm.

“I’m about to change your life,” you said as you lead him towards Lily who’s face was tinged pink from seeing James head her way.

“Then by all means lead the way,” he said with a smirk.

“Hello James, it’s been a while, how are you?” Lily asked cheerily when you and James arrived to her level.

“Lily what a pleasant surprise, you must be y/n’s roommate yeah? I’m good, how are you?” Asked James, slightly befuddled.

He turned towards you, and you gave him a smile, one he clearly saw through. He seemed to understand everything you were feeling by that one fake smile, and he gave you a look, like he was asking if you were sure. You nodded and felt a hot tear roll down your cheek.

“Yes, thank you for your service in this war,” Lily said, probably referring to James’s work as an auror.

“If it takes fighting a war for us to meet again it will have been worth it,” he said before placing his lips upon Lily’s knuckles, just like he had to yours a few moment prior, though it felt like so long ago.

You knew it had to be done, Lily loved him and you knew he would grow to love her too even if it wasn’t as much. James was also friends with Sirius, and in your parent’s eyes he would be a blood traitor. As much as you hated your family’s ideals, you didn’t want to disappoint them.

“I’ll leave you to it,” you said cheerily, though inside you were starting to break far beyond repair. You turned around and briskly walked away, not looking back at the wonderful future you had just given up on, knowing you would never be satisfied.

[cassercole]

the one where he has a kid (pt. 3/?)

SHIP: Q PROCTOR/STEVE ROGERS (QUEVE), PROCTOR-ROGERS FAMILY FEELS RATING: TEEN WORD COUNT: 1,677 PROMPT: INSPIRED BY @emiliachrstine‘s DRABBLE // An AU where Steve doesn’t know he has a teenage daughter. TAGGING: (permanent tag list):@whindsor @fraysquake @elenacarinandherfandoms, @peplumsandpitches, @editsbyjenny , @sgtbuckyybarnes​ , @chuck-hansens (those who encouraged it): @thegalanerd (WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST?)

( PART ONE ) ( PART TWO ) ( PART FOUR )

Thank God Bonnie wasn’t around to see him punch a hole in a large slab of concrete. That would’ve given her the wrong impression. But fuck was he angry. So angry. So goddamn angry. He couldn’t believe Q had kept it a secret for seventeen years. How had she managed to do so for so long? Why hadn’t he picked up on anything before that?

Sure, there was that time they didn’t see each other for a year, but that was because he was in a war-torn country and it wasn’t safe. Then there was the time she disappeared in the middle of the night during one of their summer rendezvouses, but that was because there was an emergency at work. Right? He began to second guess all the excuses she had given him over the years or the slight things that were off about their relationship that he had ignored before. Maybe they were all lies and maybe it was because of the kid -- Bonnie instead. He should’ve known, should’ve seen it. Definitely shouldn’t have taken everything at face value. God, she should’ve told him. 

On the other hand, he could almost see why she didn’t; he had been to some pretty rough places, done some very dangerous things in the name of justice and peace. It almost made sense as to why she would have kept it a secret. Almost.

“Everything alright?” he heard Nat’s voice from above him. He had settled himself on the slab of concrete he had punched a hole through, hanging his head in between his legs. He still wasn’t sure if he was going to throw up or not, so he figured it was a good precaution to take. 

“Did you know?” he asked back, not being able to take any more lies. Q had said only Dawson knew, but Dawson was connected quite intimately to Nat. There could be a chance that she had been in on the secret too.

“Know what?” Nat’s posture changed: stance widening, arms coming to cross over her chest as she waited for a response.

“That Q was pregnant?” he clarified, lifting his head up so he could see her reaction. She was a spy, she was good at lying, good at staying neutral, but they had known each other long enough now that they knew each other’s tells. Her eyebrows rose out of genuine surprise,

“No shit, Suit’s pregnant?” she used her nickname for his wife fondly, even though he was pretty sure Q hadn’t worn a pantsuit in at least a decade. 

“Yeah, about seventeen years ago.” he let out a dry chuckle which then turned into a heavy sigh. For once in her life, Nat wasn’t able to control her reaction. Her eyes widened and brows rose up even more in response to what Steve just told her.

“What the fuck?” she managed out while trying to compose herself. If anything, it was enough to let Steve know that she was just as in the dark as he was, “What -- when -- did she say why?” she settled on, knowing he knew what she meant.

“She hasn’t given me an explanation.” he sighed, running his hand through his hair, “Fuck.”

“Fuck.” she agreed before letting her hands settle at her hips, “I mean, obviously you’re not okay but…”

“No, I feel like I’m gonna throw up.” he cut in with a dry laugh, “And I want to cry or scream...or all three.” he listed out his options, not being able to decide on which was the best way to handle the situation.

“I will only judge you for doing one of those.” she lifted her chin up a bit as his gaze met hers. He figured she meant the crying part, “Throwing up, obviously.” she made a face and shrugged. A desperate laugh escaped from his lips and he shook his head, still trying to wrap his mind around what was happening. “How did you find out?” Nat asked after a moment of quiet. 

“She’s here.” he said seriously, not realizing how his voice dropped a bit at the reminder that his daughter was sitting several feet away from him.

“Suit?” she glanced around the immediate area as if she was going to be able to pick out Q right away. She could, had done it countless times before. But she wasn’t who he was referring to.

“No, my --” he tried to finish his sentence, get the word out, but it got stuck in the back of his throat. Like a bad taste. Except it was the furthest thing from it. His kid. 

“What? Did she say something to you?” Nat asked, trying to piece together how exactly he found out. 

“No, no.” he sat back a bit, hand going to rest on his knee while the other elbow rested on his thigh, “She was in the museum.” he nodded his head back to the building where Sam and Bucky were helping officers take care of survivors and the wounded, “School trip.” he continued before giving a brief summary of what happened afterward. 

“Do you want me to kill Suit?” she offered without a hint of humor, “I can make it happen. I love her, but this is bad.” she shook her head, red curtain of hair swishing as she did.

“I know.” Again his head found his hands in between his legs. His fingers dug into his forehead as if trying to pull his brain out of his skull. Maybe that would help him deal with what was going on, “God, my blood is on fire, Nat. I might be able to understand her reasoning behind it later, but this...I don’t know what to do.” he finished dejectedly. Nat tossed her hair over her shoulder and surveyed the area, working through the news herself. 

“Take a walk, okay?” she instructed with a glance back at her best friend, “Take a walk and clear your head. Everything’s taken care of here.” she assured him. He lifted his head back up and then let it fall back so his face could look up to the sky. 

“Jesus Chris.” he blew out a heavy breath, “Okay, yeah.” he agreed, realizing that the further he got from Bonnie, the better it would be when it really settled on him that he had a kid. He couldn’t let her see his true reaction. It wouldn’t be a good one. Even if it was directed more so at her mother rather than Bonnie herself, he couldn’t risk her interpreting it differently. If he could get his anger from boiling to simmering before he saw Q again...it would probably be a bit helpful. 

Watching Steve walk away, Nat turned to the med tent where her quasi niece (at least goddaughter -- she was owed that much) was sitting inside. She crossed her arms over her chest and paused for a split second before beginning to walk toward the tent without thinking about it twice. She told herself she was checking in on everyone, making sure the doctors were doing their jobs. 

As soon as she stepped into the tent, her eyes immediately searched out the teenager. Since she was now privy to the heavily kept secret, she was able to pick out the teen in a matter of moments. Based solely on her dirty blonde waves with those bright blue eyes -- not to mention the stick straight posture and the similar mannerism she had seen on both her friends, there was not a doubt in her mind that she was Steve’s kid. And while she was so angry for Steve, and even more so at Suit, her heart softened a bit at the sight of the teenager who was an equal combo of two of her closest friends. 

Putting on her friendliest smile -- which wasn’t always easy for her, Nat stepped over to the group the teenager was in. Bonnie, Steve had called her. A sweet name for a sweet girl. At the mere presence of her, all of the teens shut up rather suddenly. Something that Nat relished in for a moment, still enjoying the sense of respect she commanded however many odd years later. 

“How are we all holding up here?” she asked casually. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bonnie’s eyes widen at the sight of her -- not in fear or terror but in disbelief, then she immediately straightened up even more so than she already was. Obviously, she was unaware of the connection between the two of them. Still, Nat tried to hide her smile; just in the expression and reaction alone she saw both Steve and Suit all in one go.

“Uh, yea -- yeah, we’re good. All good.” she stuttered out a response then flushed and winced a bit at the answer she gave and how she gave it. Clearly, she wanted to come off as a bit more cool and casual. Goddamn, she really was Suit’s kid, wasn’t she?

“Good, you kids did great out there.” she addressed the group, but her eyes darted over to Bonnie once more, wanting to see her as much as possible in case she didn’t get another chance to. 

“We did our best.” another kid piped up and Nat let her gaze slide over to him and gave him a warm smile. Then, without meaning to, her eyes flicked back over to Bonnie and lingered on her for a long moment. Longer than she should’ve let them. 

“Okay, well, be sure to let someone know if you need anything.” she took in a breath, remembering her training as she refocused on the entire group. If you were compromised, you removed yourself from the situation as quickly as possible. And boy was she compromised. 

With a final look to Bonnie, she took a step away from the group of teens and moved on to a different group -- ignoring how she just wanted to gather up the blonde in her arms, hug her tightly and tell her everything. 

But she couldn’t. Not yet.

[wzly]

So, Rock Isn’t Dead After All: Sam Fender’s Hypersonic Missiles

By Isabel Pless 

Whether planned or just by dumb luck (perhaps a mixture of both), Sam Fender’s Hypersonic Missiles hit the music industry with perfect timing, and with great gusto. Amid political turmoil in the UK, an impeachment process in the US tinged with collusion and international interference, as well as general societal discord just about everywhere, a multitude of topics have fallen into the spotlight, simply awaiting discussion. Fender saw his opportunity for commentary, took it, and hit the ground running. Fender is a true newcomer, only 25 years old and from North Shields, England, he writes and sings only as an observer speaking to other observers, yet his remarks feel overwhelmingly astute for a bystander. The album-- Fender wrote all 13 tracks solo-- not only comments on highly contentious political and social issues permeating the world today, but also includes odes to the everyday young person, and does all of this with heavy electric guitar, booming drums, and rough, soaring vocals. The album is reminiscent of past rock albums; Fender clearly draws much inspiration from Bruce Springsteen-- ah, how they both love a good saxophone solo. Still, Hypersonic Missiles maintains its individuality with its undeniable relevance and keeps its integrity by breaking rank with classic rock by experimenting with more current sounds and techniques.

The title track, “Hypersonic Missiles”, fittingly references the deadly weapons that can travel at speeds of at least 1,150 MPH and which are nearly impossible to shoot down with modern defense systems. The perspective of the song presents itself as simultaneously pessimistically aware, and yet also hopeful. The first verse addresses complacency with the possibility of war (“I am so blissfully unaware of everything, kids in Gaza are bombed, and I’m just out of it, the tensions of the world are rising higher, we’re probably due another war with all this ire”) and yet the second verse and chorus move into a more hopeful place, professing love in a time of crisis (“But I believe in what I’m feeling, and I’m falling for you, this world is going to end, but until then, I’ll give you everything I have” and “when the bombs drop darling can you say that you’ve lived your life? Oh, this is a high time for hypersonic missiles”). With the relatively simple verses-- Fender’s consistent strumming on his electric guitar and the thudding drums in the background-- the high energy choruses, and the explosive instrumental after the second verse, the song builds up to introducing some political and social themes which Hypersonic Missiles explores in more depth with other tracks.

As the name would suggest, “White Privilege” takes some punches at the current social state of affairs. The lyrics move from one topic to the next with lightning speed, and Fender puts a strong emphasis on his words (a personal favorite of mine from this track: “Everybody’s offended, the joke that just keeps on giving, I’m not entirely sure the nitpicking can count as progression, I’m chewing popcorn, sitting in the back row, watching while the whole damn thing implodes”), as the track only uses electric guitar to back up the heavily layered vocals and Fender uses a tight rhyme scheme for the first half of the song. Admittedly, the song title sounds cliche and obtrusive, almost too on the nose to be accurate, yet the surprisingly fast pace at which the lyrics flow allows Fender to cover so much ground that by the time the song ends, the track feels rounded and whole. Interestingly, while Fender takes a clear stance, aggressively condemning the subject matter-- the lyrics have a sarcastic tinge to them-- there is no call to action; Fender crafts his point of view and presents it as his observation and interpretation of the truth.

While “White Privilege” tackles social issues, “Play God” speaks to the paranoia and fear surrounding people in positions of power, specifically those in a government office. The track is delivered in a minor key and along with the muted and distinctive electric guitar strumming pattern backing Fender’s vocals, the song carries a tense sense of suspicion and neuroticism throughout its entirety. The lyrics are intense and direct, highlighting scenarios and conspiracies with careful repetition--especially with the litany of the hook (“he will play God”). The verses address current events as well as the overwhelming and shared feeling of accumulating dread, building up to the bridge which explodes in the fearful realization (“Am I mistaken? Or are we breaking under weight from the long time that he played God”). The repetition and minor key mimic the underlying fear and tension, all while using careful analogies to address the question: how much is too much power?

As Fender moves away from impending doom and power struggles, he turns inward, describing a childhood friendship gone awry in “The Borders”. The sound doesn’t match the words-- the bright guitar, the fast tempo, the crash of the drums layered underneath a story of diverging paths-- but the juxtaposition evokes a sense of melancholy, personifying the overwhelming nostalgia of an old and familiar relationship which ultimately fell to pieces. Similar to “Hypersonic Missiles”, “The Borders” seems to emulate Springsteen with its rock characteristics, yet there’s a modern quality to the song that separates it from classic 80s rock. The bright filter over the guitar and the enormous, almost white-noise-like, sound amalgamation at the end of the track diversify the song from its rock counterparts, as the ending seems to take over the song and bring it to a crashing halt.

“Dead Boys”, perhaps the deepest song on the album lyrically, attempts to describe the utter whirlpool of confusion and grief surrounding suicide. Fender wrote the song after losing one of his good friends to suicide, and the track certainly plays like an ode to lives lost, but also feels like a manifesto. “Dead Boys” calls attention to the astounding number of male suicides that seem to permeate every community and addresses the expectation that men shouldn’t talk about their mental health. With the repetition of the song’s chorus and the constant quick strumming of the guitar-- almost like a fast heartbeat-- Fender makes his message astoundingly clear and pushes for much-needed change even without a set solution in sight.

In its totality, Hypersonic Missiles feels complete. Not every song appears as a stand out, and yet as a whole, the tracks sonically and lyrically fit together like a puzzle. Fender presents his take on several political and societal issues through his music, and his voice comes through loud and clear. He simply offers a narration and lends his voice to younger generations who are observing the world carefully, and then calculating a response. In recent years, the industry hasn’t seen much rock, and there’s been chatter that perhaps the genre is dying out; however, as a newcomer, Sam Fender poses a revival to rock, and to the music industry in general: he’s a force to be reckoned with.

[darkarfs]

Street Hunter

A film so mired in obscurity it doesn't even have a Wikipedia page. One of several films I own that never even got a bootleg DVD release, and you can probably only watch it if you find a Portuguese subtitled version on Dailymotion, or own the VHS and requisite VCR. Before we dive into this film, I should mention that the only reason I own this movie in the first place is that, around 2010-2011 (a simpler time, really) I became stone-cold obsessed with the career of one Reb Brown. Reb, for the MST3K set, played David Ryder in the South African railing-kill-fest that was Space Mutiny. You know, that guy. Tall, beefy, had all the acting range of an airhorn, looked kind of like a retired football player? He's actually had a storied, odd career, one that traverses a lot of genres and a lot of roles. Mostly, he did Italian knock-offs of movies like Terminator, Predator, Rambo, that sort of thing. A lot, and I mean a LOT of war movies, mostly ones taking place during Vietnam. But then he was also in things like Uncommon Valor with Gene Hackman, the Howling 2: Stirba Werewolf Bitch with Christopher Lee and Sybil Danning, and was actually the first ever Captain America, even before that really goofy one with Matt Salinger in 1990. And for some reason, I was more than entertained by watching him do what he does, and what he tends to do more often than not is...well, yell and fire machine guns into the jungle. He does that...a LOT. And he's in this film! But first, if I may reflect for just a moment. As soon as I put this into the VCR, it gave me the sneak previews of other movies made by the same distributor. I'm not a nostalgia sucker, I don't agree with things being better in the old days. But I genuinely, truly miss these. The previews on DVDs are always for the big blockbuster releases, but the ones on VHS? Who fucking KNEW what you were getting! The previews on B-movie VHS tapes are often how I found the next movie I was gonna watch! Turns out, tho, that the first preview was for the aforementioned 1990 Captain America with Matt Salinger. The 2nd was for a movie I really wanna check out now, though, and it's a ream of unconnected nonsense called the House of Usher, with Oliver Reed! This was before bad movies became that self-aware kind of bad. As a friend of mine once said; anyone can knowingly shit their pants, that's not funny. A person *not realizing* they shit their pants...that's comedy. The hero's name is Logan Blade, a name up there with Snake Plissken and John Matrix for "most action-hero name of all time." Not played by Reb (he's actually the weird, semi-warped villain in this piece), but instead by the late Steve James, who usually ended up playing the hero's sidekick in a lot of movies like this one. And you'd probably recognize ol' Frank Vincent, aka the White-Haired Guy with the Black Eyebrows in Every Movie About the Mafia. The movie starts with a bunch of heavily-armed garbage men raiding a gravesite to steal a mountain of cocaine from a guy’s casket. And they’re led by...John Leguizamo?? Yeahp. That’s him.

The guys kick over a tombstone that is 100% made of styrofoam...(one guy’s foot is all it takes, and I wish I could gif it, because it bounces)

and then are suddenly flanked by a bunch of Italian mobsters. Turns out Leguizamo’s gang are Colombian drug lords, and they’re here to steal the mob’s cocaine from this grave. The Italians have them surrounded, until Luigi’s group is flanked by 7 more dudes, led by...

Ah! There’s my dude. He immediately shouts and he and the goons shoot them all dead. THEN Logan Blade shows up, and I gotta admit, he looks like a seriously legit, badass dude.

You know, you’re kind of destined to become a renegade cop or bounty hunter with a name like Logan Blade. You don’t run into many wedding photographers with that name. He takes out all of Luigi’s goons and takes him in alive, and then maybe the weirdest, most sincerely funny thing about this film to me.

An 80s action movie where the police chief and the renegade bounty hunter...get along great! Like, uncharacteristically well! “Dammit, Blade! The mayor’s been all over my ass about those 6 bodies you left in the cemetery! You’re making my WHOLE department look great! You keep this up, and I’ll promote your ass to lieutenant so fast it’ll make your head spin!” Then we meet Blade’s friend, an avuncular grey-haired guy who may as well say “I’ve reunited with with my wife after 3 years and the guys at the precinct are throwing me a giant retirement party tomorrow” for how quickly and seamlessly he telegraphs the fact that he’s next to die. He calls Blade “paranoid” and insists that he “worries too much.” Gets shot in the next scene, and frees Leguizamo’s character (named Angel, should have mentioned that.) Reb cautions Angel that he should “always follow orders.” Y’see, Reb his basically a mercenary who stone-facedly pines for the days of the greatest generals, your Alexander the Great, your Genghis Khan, your Napoleon. He even tells Angel that “you should be as Philotas was to me, Alexander the Great.” (Alexander the Great had Philotas falsely accused of an assassination attempt and then had him beat to death with fucking rocks. Your references won’t get past me, movie!) Then we get to maybe my favorite scene in the entire movie. The Diablo gang send a crew of 3 guys to assassinate Blade’s girlfriend, which will either make him surrender in terror, or drive him into an insane murder fury.  Now, I have real issues with this in films, when someone kills the girl to get to the guy. Happens in all the big action films where the good guy is muscling in on the rival gangs or the mob or whoever. She’s being held by one guy, and defiantly spits in his friends’ face. My face fell the first time. “Oh, no.” I thought.

He goes to slash her face with a switchblade...

...she ducks, and he accidentally slits the other guy’s throat. She then takes out the one guy with a candle holder, and the third...well, thank God she was using a cast-iron pan to cook...something...when they show up. She throws the hot food in his face and then bashes his head in with the pan. ...my man Reb has not trained these men well.  But it turns out, a cop was on the mafia’s take! (This guy was in one scene, eating a donut, not a single line. You’d never have guessed a man you’d assumed an extra would be working for Don Hermano!)

So they take his girlfriend, and then Blade gives chase...

...in what looks like a 1979 Ford Econoline. Not exactly great for catching bad guys.

...unless he had a fucking HYPERDRIVE installed. What?! Yeah, okay, I’m on board! Blade closes in on the corrupt cop and Reb, who are...where else? A warehouse on the outside of town. Blade brings his dog, a nameless Doberman (he never calls it anything but “boy”) to help the fact that he’s outnumbered. Reb then tells one of the bad guys to “shoot that mutt!” I again braced myself to be disappointed and sad. The bad guy fires three shots and misses with all three as the dog runs away. He turns to Reb. “Sorry, jefe,” he says.

Reb immediately shoots him in the head. Got a genuine laugh out of me. A thing used by the villain 3 times in Sudden Death as a punchline just made me sad. Here, actual laugh. Dunno how these things work, but I imagine it’s a matter of tone. There’s some weird, “what we saw in ‘Nam” undercurrent through the whole movie. It’s what hardened Blade and made him a bounty hunter, but also what made Reb the general-worshipping lunatic merc he ends up being. It’s not but touched on, but I guess it’s as good a theme as any for a hero and a villain in one of these movies. The problem I have with this now...is that the movie ends really anticlimactically. Blade disposes of the goombas and the diablos in basically one fell swoop, and then challenges Reb to a one-on-one fight. He handily whoops Reb’s ass (a little disappointing, seeing how all he does is talk a great big heaping game about how the generals inspired his military tactics and how he fights) and then...leaves. No, really. Blade wins the fight and then leaves Reb behind. Reb goes to find him, but it turns out Blade has, for no reason, a block of C-4. Dunn where he got it. Reb trips over it, and it literally makes a squib-like “PUFF!”

and he falls through what amounts to a perfect square hole he was standing on. Blade essentially set up a trap door for him, and then Reb just stepped on it.  Blade punches Angel, restrains him, and then...the movie just kind of ends.

A movie with a lot of promise, but with an ending I couldn’t help but find flat. But they used by boy Reb real well, and that’s got to account for something. 

[dangolding]

Spec Ops: The Line and the fine art of subversion

Every writer has a piece that they never quite got placed with a publication. I wrote this many years ago now when Spec Ops: The Line was first released and showed it to a few friends and editors, but it was never published. Now that the game is five years old, I thought I’d just put it online.

///////////////////////////////

And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there

 The first thing you encounter in any videogame is its menu. People generally spend very little time on menus—they are doorways, the thresholds of videogames, ready to set the tone but quick to get out of the way. Despite their importance, they are often relatively disposable for the player, and quickly forgotten. Press Start. Hit A to begin. Now here’s the real game.

 But the first thing you notice about Spec Ops: The Line is its menu. It is not here to get out of the way, to be an open door between the player and the ‘real’ game. It is here to make a statement. A dilapidated American flag takes up much of the screen, flying upside-down, either a sign of distress or a deliberate desecration. In the distance sits a Dubai in sandy ruins, the contemporary symbol of capitalist expansion and reach destroyed.

 Playing over the top is Jimi Hendrix’s famous 1969 Woodstock performance of “The Star Spangled Banner”. The sonorous, roundly distorted notes signal its arrival half a phrase in; the manic, free-form drumming of Mitch Mitchell barely audible in the background. Already, The Line is in many ways radically different for a standard military-themed videogame. In the place of the usual proud flags and dutiful trumpet calls, The Line populates its menu with complicated and troubling symbols.

 Of course, The Line is a deliberate attempt at subversion. Military shooters have long been at the core of the videogames industry (the latest installment in the Call of Duty franchise, for instance, grossed over $400 million in its first 24 hours on sale late last year), and while sometimes technically innovative and exciting, few of these games have very much to say. Some, like the Modern Warfare franchise, will occasionally look to have the appearance of philosophizing on war, but generally, the most generous conclusion to take from these sorts of games is something like this: War is hell. War is also spectacular. The people who choose to go into it and come out alive are amazing.

 It’s in this context that The Line presents itself as a sweeping counter to the traditional claims of the military videogame. It isn’t all just upside-down flags and Jimi Hendrix, either. The game’s plot is for the most part, a fairly reasonable appropriation of the general thrust of Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness and Coppola’s Apocalypse Now. We follow three soldiers—Sergeant Lugo, Lieutenant Adams, and Captain Martin Walker, the last of whom the player controls—as they journey into a Dubai of the near-future, one that has been destroyed by dust storms. A battalion lead by a Colonel John Konrad (in the game’s most guileless reference to Heart of Darkness) has disappeared in the city, and as we find out, has of course gone rogue.

 Throughout your journey to look for survivors, Spec Ops continually throws horrifying experiences directly in the face of the player. Needless, limitless bloodshed, civilian massacres, warcrimes.

 But The Line’s most unexpected move is its bold indictment of the player in this context. You did this, the game says. Not us, the designers, not the characters, but you. It’s all your fault.

 *

 When Jimi Hendrix performed “The Star Spangled Banner” at Woodstock in 1969, many, if not most onlookers assumed it was an antiwar statement of sorts. Hendrix’s unorthodox performance was not the first controversial appropriation of America’s national anthem (Jose Feliciano had played a folk-ish version a year earlier at a Baseball match, the fallout of which he claimed stalled his career for a number of years), but it was certainly its most violent. Strewn between the heavily distorted, oppressively bland notes of the anthem were Hendrix’s own embellishments. He threw his plectrum up and down the strings, smashed away at the pitch-bending tremolo arm, and deliberately induced piercing feedback.

 The fact that most of these embellishments coincided with the lyric, “and the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,” just reinforced the idea that the performance was about the Vietnam War. The rockets’ red glare was being broadcast on television screens every evening in 1969. It was hard not to take it literally. Hendrix’s slides became missiles, his muted strumming became gunfire (much like his later song, “Machine Gun”), his distortion became bombs, destruction, and cries of the innocent. Played into Jimi Hendrix’s guitar were the nightmares of a generation of disillusioned Americans, his instrument an orchestra of national disaster.

 Hendrix’s Woodstock performance is often mythologized as a kind of paradigmatic moment of counter-culture appropriation, of culture jamming fifteen years before anyone had thought of using the term ‘culture jamming’. Here was a noble and patriotic song being roughly hewn back into the militaristic fires from whence it came, Hendrix’s bloody tableau mirroring the war of 1812 that served as inspiration for Francis Scott Key’s original poem.

 But it’s not usually remarked on that “The Star Spangled Banner” was actually a British song to begin with. The tune was first known as “To Anacreon in Heaven”, and was written by organist John Stafford Smith as a constitutional song for the Anacreontic Society, a British gentlemen’s club dedicated to “wit, harmony, and the god of wine.” Despite the notorious difficulty in singing the Anacreontic melody (one wonders if the Bacchanalian nature of the society made the task even less viable), the tune was a popular fit for a number adaptations (known as contrafactums) at the time, of which “The Star Spangled Banner” was only one. It also served as a vehicle for Robert Paine’s ode, “Adams and Liberty” in the late 18th century, for example.

 The themes of appropriation and reappropriation are perhaps the one constant in the life of “The Star Spangled Banner”. Whoever knows what Hendrix meant when he played it at Woodstock. It does seem likely, after all, that there was some kind of protest meant, but if Hendrix saw what happened to Feliciano a year earlier, he’d have good reason not to push it further.

 Curiously, Hendrix himself never said that the performance was meant particularly as a protest. In fact, he never really explained the meaning of the performance at all, except for a brief remark at a press conference a few weeks later.

 “We play it the way the air is in America today,” Hendrix said. “The air is slightly static, don’t you think?”

 *

 One of Spec Ops’ central villains used to write for Rolling Stone. Robert Darden, a bearded, Hawaiian-shirt wearing reporter taunts the player over a city-wide broadcast system for much of the game, earning him the nickname of the ‘Radioman’. He also has pretty good taste in music, and through several key scenes in the game blasts out Deep Purple, Martha and the Vandellas, and The Black Angels.

 Having an antagonist like Radioman allows music to come to the fore in The Line. Rock music is often blasted diegetically through the game’s Dubai, sometimes as a complement to the action and sometimes as a counterpoint, but always as a reminder of the foreignness of the American presence in Dubai. The music writes over the Emirati landscape, reminding players that it is American against American in this game, and that Dubai is only present insofar as it is an immutable reminder of America’s foreign entanglements. This is, by and large, a game about America and American culture: whatever the problems are of sequestering Dubai for thematic ends, The Line is not interested in it as much more than an emblem.

 In one early sequence that announces the game’s engagement with popular culture, a lengthy firefight is set to Deep Purple’s 1968 hard rock hit, ‘Hush’. In the context of The Line, ‘Hush’ should act as an ironic counterpoint to the action—“Hush, hush, I need her loving,” sings Rod Evans, “But I'm not to blame now.” When Alfonso Cuarón used the same song in his terrifyingly bleak Children of Men, the Los Angeles Times called it “a sly lullaby for a world without babies.” When Spec Ops makes other similar allusions with its music, as with Martha and the Vandellas’ 1965 Motown classic, ‘Nowhere to Run’, the point is clear enough, even erring on overstating things. “Got nowhere to run to, baby,” runs the Holland-Dozier-Holland lyrics as the bullets fly over our protagonists, “Nowhere to hide.”

 But right then, in the heat of the Deep Purple battle, the unsettling point is lost in the haze of cover-to-cover sprinting and pop-and-stop shooter mechanics. The lyrics might say one thing, but the cutting backbeat and the powerful bass line says something else entirely. All this shooting, this strategy, this chaos, this music—this is a little bit cool.

 “Hey, you guys hear music?” asks one of The Line’s protagonists.

 “Who cares?” answers our character. “Just shut up and keep fighting.”

 The tension between critical commentary and surface level enjoyment lingers throughout The Line. When, later in the game, a slow-motion escape from a missile blast is set to Verdi’s ‘Dies Irae’, this unease is amplified. Like the Wagner helicopter attack sequence from Apocalypse Now (which was undoubtedly the scene’s inspiration, as the blast comes from a helicopter here, too), The Line runs a real risk of its intended commentary being literally drowned out by a one hundred person orchestra. The ironic juxtaposition of dead white European classical composers with macho violence is subsumed by the grandiloquent power of Verdi and Wagner, a tension that Coppola played with in Apocalypse Now but that has eventually been defeated by Hollywood iconography. Though Wagner-and-the-helicopters has now entered into the pop culture lexicon, how often is it used to invoke the madness and the masculinity of war, as intended? How often is it instead used to illustrate military elegance and the iconographic power of the Vietnam war?

 This is the fundamental problem of The Line, one that is clearly reflected in its use of music. Does it matter that the game offers up a heartbreaking critical commentary on war and videogames, if from moment-to-moment, all I can do is enjoy the mayhem? Does it matter that my enemies are screaming at me that I’m a murderer, that their radio chatter becomes increasingly fearful of me as I move forward through their soldiers like some sort of nightmarish Superman, if the game has also been perfectly calibrated to give me pleasure from discharging my weapon into the faces of oncoming, depersonalized enemies?

 “Shut up and keep fighting.” The context of that terse comment is one of maintaining control in the heat of battle, of blocking out pain and trauma until later, when it might be safe to reflect on your horrific deeds. Yet it could equally also apply to the naive player, the kind not interested in The Line’s plot but in its thrilling action; not so much a remark on a lack of time as a lack of care. “Shut up and keep fighting.”

 *

 Of course, the simple fact that players are not likely to miss The Line’s critique does not automatically mean anything at all. Earlier this year, the Australian army released the Chief of Army’s Reading List for soldiers. Conspicuous on the traditional list were books like Joseph Heller’s Catch-22 and Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse Five, while films included the likes of David O. Russell’s Three Kings, Ken Loach’s The Wind that Shakes the Barley and of course, Apocalypse Now.

 The presence of these works on such a list appears, at first, to be inexplicable. What use could Catch-22—a book that coined the anti-Vietnam war slogan, “Yossarian Lives!”—have for army bureaucracy? Why would army officials want soldiers to watch a film like Three Kings, a film that tracks three soldiers’ attempts to steal gold in the wake of the first Gulf War, a film that was described by the Los Angeles Times as “one of the defining antiwar films of our time, a scathing and sobering chronicle of U.S. misadventures in the Middle East”?

 In commenting on the success of The Hurt Locker at the 2010 Oscars, Slovoj Žižek offers this: “In its very invisibility, ideology is here, more than ever: we are there, with our boys, identifying with their fear and anguish instead of questioning what they are doing there.”

 Perhaps it is impossible to make an anti-war film. Perhaps there is always the possibility that despite context and framing, the exhilaration and terror of combat will always translate into romance for some. The strategy for most so-called anti-war films is still one of audience identification: here are innocent characters, thrown into a terrible scenario so beyond the realms of civility that we feel for them even as they commit heinous acts.

 Even when characters are allowed some complexity, or are even pushed to become monsters, we can still see glimmers of our own collective guilt, our tortured souls played out within these people. There but for the grace of God, go I. Anti-war films are the best recruitment tool for fascists who still believe in their own soul.

 And so it goes with The Line. No matter how hard the game tries in being anti-war, or even just to be a confronting critique of its genre, it never fails to also re-articulate the pleasures of the military videogame. Subversion is frequently too enormous, too clumsy, and too delicate a task to undertake meaningfully. Too much is pulled in too many directions; too many elements left unaltered. For every player who gets The Line’s Joseph Conrad references, another handful will simply find pleasure in the game’s tactical gunfights.

 Subversion, especially in a medium as commercial and unwieldy as the videogame, is an imprecise art.

 *

 In 2000, the virtuoso guitarist Joe Satriani opened a Baseball match between the Giants and the Mets with his own homage to Hendrix’s performance of ‘The Star Spangled Banner’, a moment that was in turn recreated in last year’s Moneyball. His version was nearly identical to Hendrix’s, even down to the guitar tone and layering of effects. What was not recreated, however, was the crushing, distorted sounds of machine guns, bombs, and cries of terror. Why, after all, would you bring that sort of subject matter up at a baseball match, a time where national disgraces are usually tactfully concealed behind layers of professional competition?

 What Satriani was left with was just a somewhat stylish, metal-cool version of the American national anthem. He played it, the audience stood, some sang along, and most cheered when it was over. Hendrix was back in the patriotic fold, the ambiguous and potentially subversive elements of his performance smoothed over by a modern rock star. There were no rough edges anymore.

 Somehow, between 1969 and 2000, the context of playing the anthem on an electric guitar had shifted from disruption to celebration, from national anthem to rock anthem. There’s something telling about the fact that the only videogame to feature Hendrix’s version of “The Star Spangled Banner” before The Line was Guitar Hero 2.

 Look at this page on Answers.com:

 The question: “Did Jimi Hendrix mean to dishonor the Star Spangled Banner?”

 The answer: “He would never disrespect our country. He played the song that way to honor the troops that were fighting in Vietnam.”

[gentlemansaurusrex]

Dead Men Do Tell Tales, and so does History

While I was growing up, my mom and others in my family would heavily invest time into studying where our ancestors came from. One of my ancestors came to the United States from Wales, mainly because he was escaping the British who had accused him of being a pirate. I do not know if this is true or not, but it has become a family legend of a sort. Pirates, in general, are surrounded by myths and legends. With the popular film franchise of Pirates of the Caribbean, you have notable pirate legends such as Davie Jones (not the lead singer of The Monkees), Blackbeard, The Kraken, The Flying Dutchman, and honestly so many other cool legends of pirate lore. I will also be debunking some myths and explaining why it is either true or false, which is what I will start off with.

One of the best examples of a pirate and treasure is a big ol’ red X that marks the spot for buried treasure. The myth of buried treasure is essentially the goal of almost every single pirate related movie. The big red X on a map is the designated spot for the buried treasure of gold, silver, stolen goods, or whatever the heck else could be valuable. This was not the case. Usually, the treasure, “booty”, swag, or goods was a mixture of items stolen off of trade ships like lumber, cloth, spices, honestly anything that could fetch a good amount of coin. Pirates, however, did not bury their treasure because it would ruin the lumber, spices, and cloth. The only notable pirate who really did this was Captain William Kidd, but the act of burying treasure to get it later was very rare and honestly strange.

The next myth is walking the plank. This was a method of execution during the golden age of pirates, but it is not very effective. Why make a person walk the plank when throwing them overboard, marooning them, shooting them, or my personal favorite, keel-hauling is easier. Keel-hauling is where a sailor is tied to a looped line that goes through the ship, thrown overboard, then dragged through the keel of the ship. The area of the ship where a sailor was usually keel-hauled was covered with barnacles which would result in the person being seriously cut or decapitated. If the ship was going slowly, the weight would eventually crush the person. This was not a fun way to go, but with the brutality of being keel-hauled, it created the myths for Bootstrap Bill in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

Before I move onto legends of pirates and lore, I would like to talk about two last myths that were true. Pirates did have peg legs and eye patches, as well as a code which was followed. Peg legs and eye patches were typical when trying to hide an injury, except a peg leg would make it obvious that you had lost your leg. Let’s be honest, when you have a peg leg you can’t really hide the fact that you lost your leg because it looks nothing like a leg. Naval battles were costly. Cannons would blow a gaping hole into the ship sending pieces of wood, metal, anything sharp really into the air. People would lose eyes and body parts. I honestly wonder what went through pirate and naval doctors’ minds when they saw injuries like this. It probably went like “Hey Doc Hook, a cannon crushed this dude’s leg. Think you can shove a piece of wood in his hip and make it look like a leg?” or “He lost his eye, let’s get a piece of cloth to cover his injury to hide the fact that he’s half blind.”. There are many myths and truths about pirates, but that could be a whole post on its own.

For legends, I am going to start off with the spooky stuff first. Two monsters in pirate or sailing lore is that of the Kraken and the Luska. Everyone knows the Kraken because it was under control of Davie Jones in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise or from Greek mythology, being the pet creature of Poseidon, the God of the Sea. To those who do not know, the Kraken is usually depicted as a monstrous squid or octopus. It was rumored by sailors or pirates to live in the deep waters of the Caribbean Sea and the Atlantic Ocean terrorizing ships that crossed its path. The Kraken myth was most likely the results of pirates and sailors trying to find a scapegoat for the unexplained phenomena. The Luska was a different monster myth and was more believable than the Kraken. People sailing the Caribbean believed it more than the Kraken. The Luska was believed to be a beast that was half giant shark and half giant squid/octopus. It lived in dark blue circles that were rumored to have a tunnel system where the Luska would hide. There has been no definitive proof of whether this is true or not, but a half squid/octopus and half shark hybrid sounds like something from a cheesy sci-fi movie. Legendary pirates, on the other hand, were not as ridiculous sounding.

For this section, I am going to be breaking down the stories of legendary pirates or mythical figures. The figure of Davie Jones is a lot darker than what most people think. Davie Jones was in fact, not a real person. The name was sailor slang for the devil. The term Davie Jones’ Locker referred to the bottom of the ocean. This gives me a new perspective on some Spongebob episodes now. 

The first pirate I would like to discuss is Jean Lafitte. Laffite was born either in the Basque region of France or the French colony of Saint-Dominique. He and his brother Pierre both became pirates and smugglers in the Caribbean but eventually bought warehouses in New Orleans, Louisiana. When tensions became high towards the up and coming Napoleonic France, the United States, and England resulting in the Embargo of 1807, they moved to another part of Louisiana. In 1815, Lafitte was recruited to help the United States fight off the British during the Battle of New Orleans during the War of 1812. After getting a taste of the privateer life through that, he was then a spy for the Spanish during the Mexican War of Independence. The rest of Lafitte’s life is mainly running from the law and shrouded in mystery. Historians are not sure of how or where he died, and there are rumors that he was Napoleon Bonaparte’s main man for getting him out of exile then, but this is just a rumor that has no substantial proof.

The next pirate that is speculative and has more legend than fact is Henry Avery. Avery was well respected among sailors and other pirates giving him nicknames such as The Arch Pirate or The King of Pirates. Avery was a big deal. He inspired many to take up a life of being a sailor or a pirate. He is one of the most successful pirates in history mainly because he could retire with his vast fortunes. Avery had no specific target for plunder, he targeted the British, French, Spanish, and even sailed to India attacking Mughal ships (not to be confused with the Harry Potter term, they were a Muslim Empire in India). When Avery retired, many who took up his legacy in piracy claimed to have parts of his treasure. This caused his old fleet and crew to go all over the world.  Many people believe, due to the amount of treasure Avery had, that his treasure is still hidden around the world. This has inspired many legends and is also the premise of one of my favorite video games called Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End. Finding Avery’s lost treasure was the main premise of the game taking the story from Panama, Scotland, Madagascar, and eventually a pirate haven where Avery’s treasure was hidden.

I could do another post about famous pirates and their deeds, but before I conclude, I just want to briefly mention a few more pirates. One of my favorite pirates from history is a guy named Stede Bonnet. Bonnet was a wealthy landowner before he decided to trade everything in to become one of the most famous pirates. Like most pirates, he had a cool nickname which was The Gentleman Pirate, mainly because he was not cruel like most of his counterparts. He terrorized the American colonies, specifically North and South Carolina. Near the end of the Bonnet’s life, he failed several times to acquire more ships for his fleet and ended up becoming a part of Blackbeard’s crew temporarily. Eventually, Bonnet was hung for piracy in South Carolina.

Earlier, I mentioned the Uncharted video game series. The main character is a descendant of Sir Frances Drake. Drake was an explorer as well as a pirate. His nickname was personally given to him by Queen Elizabeth the First, which was simply “my pirate”. Back in the 17th and 18th century, the world powers would heavily rely on pirates under the military’s payroll. These pirates were given the name of privateers. Privateers were paid to undermine the enemy of the country who hired them. Drake was often hired to do damage again the Spanish and is rumored to be a key player in the defeat of the Spanish Armada.

Most famous pirates came from England but, like Lafitte, some came from France. Jean-David Nau or more commonly known as Francois L’Olonnais was one of the cruelest pirates to sail the seas. L’Olonnais would cut men to pieces or hang them until their eyes would pop out. There were stories about his brutality which caused him to be one of the most feared pirates. One story was that he had heard about being betrayed, went to the leader of the men who was plotting against him and publicly executed him. This execution consisted of cutting out the man’s heart and taking a bite in front of his crew. Ironically, L’Olonnais was killed and eaten alive by a group of cannibals.

The last pirate I would like to talk about before conclusion is Blackbeard. You cannot simply talk about pirates without mentioning, probably the most famous pirate in history. Blackbeard’s real name was Edward Teach who came from England. Blackbeard was often referred to as a demon of the high seas and practiced in magic. This magic and so-called demon nicknames were just Blackbeard using different dramatic techniques to frighten his crew and those who hated him. One famous technique was inserting gunpowder and fuses into his beard, lighting them on fire. The flames and smoke in his beard would create this effect that made him seem more menacing. His ship, Queen Anne’s Revenge was custom built from a slave ship and contained roughly 40 guns which was essentially a floating fortress. He would also carry multiple pistols and daggers on his chest, giving the impression that he was not one to mess with. At the end of Blackbeard’s life, he was living in North Carolina. While in North Carolina, he got into a fight with the British where he received 20 stab wounds and was shot 5 times before killed. Lieutenant Robert Maynard took Blackbeard’s body, decapitated it, and mounted Blackbeard’s severed head onto the mast of his ship as a warning to all pirates. With the death of Blackbeard, the golden age of piracy had ended. Eventually, pirates would die out and there was nothing left but romanticizing the idea of pirates.

The life of a pirate and a sailor was harsh, but people still romanticize that life. I do it on occasion, seeing boats and the ocean as an adventure. Video games and movies do a great job expressing this romanticism. The stories that come from this are interesting, showing how people during this time had made their lives. I highlighted some of my favorites, but they were either British or French. Not all pirates came from England or Europe. Several came from the Barbary Coast (Northern Africa, I have a blog post about that too), the Caribbean, other African ports, and Asia. No matter where they came from, they all had swashbuckling stories, and remember, dead men do tell tales!

P.S.: I highly encourage you all to find out about your ancestors!

Next Week: I will be at a conference from Monday to Thursday. I will do a short post, but hopefully, I can get it done and post it!