#instead im fucking MOPING
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im not going to be messy im not going to be messy im NOT going to be messy.
#not going to tell that boy i like him just cause that girl is going after him. that's toxic af#toxic AF STOP IT STOP BEING LIKE THAT#literally this sucks so much i should be excited about that girl im seeing in a couple weeks and instead#instead im fucking MOPING#i fucking hate feelings.#like. i Never like people like this#people like ME i don't like them back. that's how it's supposed to be#as. self-centered as that sounds too#but anyways. every time he texts me i'm : D#and i need to stop it. we're friends. I'm his Close Friend that he confides in#and saying literally anything would be such a betrayal of trust or whatever#and NOT COOL to anya#but also it was p uncool of her to go for him when she knew i liked him lmao#esp when she does this with most of the boys any of us like#ughhhhh#im going to be unselfish. and not make his life harder and more awkward#idkkkkkkkkkkk#we live in the same building. we work in the same building. we have the same friend group. i am Not going to blow that up#2 weeks into a 14 month lease.#ok thank u to the void this helped#typing that out made me realize how much i would be fucking us both over#so let's </3 not#UGH#im getting arrange married actually#that'll fix all my problems i think#im getting over this boy. he's just some guy#he's LITERALLY just some funky little guy what is wrong with me#what if i quit my job and move to a new city and like. get a phd or whatever#i don't mean that i fucking love my job. but also what if. then i wouldn't have to think about fucking feelings
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