#idkkkkkkkkkkk
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Mun Post.
Gen question ya’ll, should I traumatize myself to appease my inner child and therefore untraumatize myself or should I just stay where I am and not fix anything because at least I’m at a point where I’m not having daily mental breakdowns anymore?
Like actually.
Should I compromise my academics and something I’m really excited about (g11 pilots program) to go back to a place with less exciting academics but at least I’m not super depressed and isolated there?
#mun post#i need advice#my mental health is not slay anywhere#this is about moving from the city I’m in rn back to my childhood town for the last year/2 years of high school#‘cause all my family’s friends are there + my friends + cool extra curriculars#but I really like the school and program I’m in rn#and I’m not sure how moving back would affect my chances of getting into a good uni#but also I could move back in g12 and get all my academics + flight school out of the way before that#maybe I’m just scared to move back because moving here was the worst series of experiences of my life#idkkkkkkkkkkk
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its york. he looks like york. york sounds like him.
hes not not giving york...............
#asks#kitkat#IDKKKKKKKKKKK#i really like york and ares and ikarus but i feel like. that one name is still out there#maybe its just that nothing will ever measure up to my baby boys name#well maybe not measure up but rather i was so used to it and now every other name seems profoundly not right#in not entirely unrelated news still missing him like a phantom limb. still sick with it all
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i think i was just having an auditory hallucination or something it was so scary i want to die
#krestel speaks#IDKKKKKKKKKKK#I WAS HALF ASLEEP AND IT WOKE ME UP#I WAS LITERALLY SEARCHING FOR THE NOISE#UNTIL I REALIZED IT WAS IN MY HEAD. I HATE IT HERE#PRETTY PLEASE CAN I GO BACK TO JUST THE TINNITUS??
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#tdf made me have a lot of thoughts most of them negative about the sport#but i'll wait until it's less july to say something lol#maybe this season has just been a bit too weird in terms of injuries#(thoughts NOT about medical malpractice actually. only a small part)#some of the negativity is probably just me pmsing anyways#idkkkkkkkkkkk#rambling#it's like sky era but more sinister lmfao#it's all their fault anyways.
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not living with my ex anymore means having to face the realities of the terrible things that came out of my breakup/ex-relationship that i was ignoring for months………….. i am worried that it was worse than i have been thinking it was 😓
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Yesss you areeee darlingggg~ so so cute and adorable and so many think so~ which means? It’s very true~
(Good. Have to make you accept the truth… cause I leave in 5 minutes :p)
maybe a teensy little bitt
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im not going to be messy im not going to be messy im NOT going to be messy.
#not going to tell that boy i like him just cause that girl is going after him. that's toxic af#toxic AF STOP IT STOP BEING LIKE THAT#literally this sucks so much i should be excited about that girl im seeing in a couple weeks and instead#instead im fucking MOPING#i fucking hate feelings.#like. i Never like people like this#people like ME i don't like them back. that's how it's supposed to be#as. self-centered as that sounds too#but anyways. every time he texts me i'm : D#and i need to stop it. we're friends. I'm his Close Friend that he confides in#and saying literally anything would be such a betrayal of trust or whatever#and NOT COOL to anya#but also it was p uncool of her to go for him when she knew i liked him lmao#esp when she does this with most of the boys any of us like#ughhhhh#im going to be unselfish. and not make his life harder and more awkward#idkkkkkkkkkkk#we live in the same building. we work in the same building. we have the same friend group. i am Not going to blow that up#2 weeks into a 14 month lease.#ok thank u to the void this helped#typing that out made me realize how much i would be fucking us both over#so let's </3 not#UGH#im getting arrange married actually#that'll fix all my problems i think#im getting over this boy. he's just some guy#he's LITERALLY just some funky little guy what is wrong with me#what if i quit my job and move to a new city and like. get a phd or whatever#i don't mean that i fucking love my job. but also what if. then i wouldn't have to think about fucking feelings
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your voice it sounds familiar but you are not what you seem
#idk IDKKKKKKKKKKK#stranger is my everything idk why him in specific but i lurvvvv him#omori#sketches
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i don’t even UNDERSTAND the appeal of fandom hob tbh. besides the fact that he’s so far removed from canon as to be a different character entirely, what people think is interesting about him in their personal canon is just. not. and i KNOW that it’s PROBABLY just because he’s the easiest for other queer white people to project on but i don’t even have like, sympathy for that. relatability should not be a metric for your enjoyment of media. lol.
#idkkkkkkkkkkk i’m sorry i really really really really hate hob + fandom surrounding him!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the sandman
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Like maybe I'm the impatient bitch that hates fun but revealing a new dragon without having the ability to actually obtain them (assuming they will eventually be obtainable) or otherwise play around with them is soooooo annoying like ok. Give me a reason to care.
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Birthday in 17 days ☹️
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on a completely different note I've been running away from every single dragon roaming free on the map trying to chase me with the "arisen show me your power and face me", so imagine my face when I had to face that creepy dragon in the main quest
#I'm not going to attempt a fight against one until I unlock the archer mage but I got lost in the cave trying to get to that quest#soooooo idkkkkkkkkkkk#dragon's dogma 2#thoughts#― rea's thoughts 💭
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what should i drawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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sometimes people leave comments on my fics that make me physically unable to return to that work. lmao. lol even
#lovely combination of crushing anxiety + immense imposter syndrome + pure SPITE#like why r u as a person reading a fic solely to tell me how you would have done this or that differently. i'll kill you#idkkkkkkkkkkk. most of my fics were written during very distinct Bad Moments in time as a means to cope so like. it's hard to go back to#i'm pretty sure i'll never go back to rewrite soundless the way i wanted to bc despite having written it like 2 months ago#it's already in such a different time of my life that i don't think i can return to it. it's too raw lmao#maybe i shouldn't put so much of myself into my writing nglll i see the reasoning behind that#oh well. it sucks but it's fine. but also people who leave bad comments i hope you die i hope we both die
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i’m so nervoussss uugghhhhh
#zombvibes never shuts up#this is teammateswap related#idk i’m just nervous about the account…#like what if it isn’t 100% perfect or what if it’s not organized enough#idkkkk idkkkkkkkkkkk#………mmmmnnnnngghghhhhhghgh
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