#instead of fearing death they can cherish life. at least for a moment. hmm

[nikoisme]

you ever think about the fact that those were the burial rites of hector, breaker of horses? not hector of the shining helm? In that moment, they didn't bury the terror of the achaeans, they buried a son, a brother, a husband, a father. Not only will those hands never spill blood and protect the walls again, but those hands will also never cradle his baby son or hold his wife again. That face will never send fear down the enemy's spine, nor will it ever smile or gleam with pride again. The helm will slowly be eaten away by rust and grow dull, and so will the horses without hector to rein their spirits or andromache to gently feed them wine and wheat. They didn't bury him for who he was to the achaeans, they buried him for who he was to the trojans. The laments over his body started with his ferocity in battle and ended with his gentleness. Yes, they grieved the future (death) he left them with when he fell, but maybe they also grieved the past (life) he took with him to the grave.

[khalessiofthefandomworld]

Against the Odds- Cal Kestis x Reader

Wow… so this is a new thing I’m trying. Quarantine has me bored so here you go, hope you enjoy!

“Against the Odds”

Cal Kestis x Reader

Warnings….NONE!

________________________________________________________________

Life has an excellent sense of humor, at least in your opinion.

           During the hardships of war, when mundane moments such a laying in the sun, laughing at a good joke among friends, or even something as simplistic as reading a book to oneself, somehow still manage to find a place in one’s everyday life.

           You were no stranger to the harsh and often cruel realities that plagued the galaxy. Ever since the destruction of Order 66, your life had become a series of uncertain events. You could remember those nights, those terrible, awful nights, when you’d lay your head to rest, wondering if it was safe to close your eyes for even a moment.

           Was this it? You thought to yourself; was this how you would live the rest of your life, in constant fear and distress, ready for death to strike at any moment’s notice?

           There hadn’t been many, but you had to wonder, of those few who managed to escape death’s fate during the Order, did they too live with this relentless shadow hanging over them? At this point you usually sit up, shaking your head, rubbing fingers along your temples. Dwelling on the past didn’t solve anything for you; in fact, you were luckier than most, you had Cal Kestis.

           It was Cal who kept your morale up; Cal, who made you feel safe, feel strong, who managed to make you laugh, even in the most peril of situations. And even after everything, after Order 66, after Bracca, the holocron, Cal had remained by your side.

           So, it’s no surprise the two of you ended up where you are now, lying together in your shared bunker aboard the Mantis, limbs tangled, faces inches apart from one another. You reach across the small space between you two, tracing your fingers against the side of his face, causing Cal’s green eyes to stare into your own.

           “Can I help you?” He joked, a small smile creeping onto his face.

           “Shhhh, I’m counting.”

           Cal’s brow quirked up, “Counting?”

           You rolled your eyes before pinching his check, smiling at his slight wincing as you tugged on it lightly, “Your freckles, silly boy.”

           You giggled as Cal bat your hand away, only to catch it between his own. You sheepishly smiled as he began tracing the lines along your palm; against the many, many scars you’ve earned during the better half of your life, all earned with Cal by your side.

           Cal remained silent, but you could tell his mind was a work.

           “Whatcha doing there, Cal?”

           The red-haired jedi didn’t even try hiding that smug smile of his, “Counting.”

           “Oh really,” you respond playfully, “What number are you on?”

           “Shhhh,” Cal hushed, “You’re distracting me.”

           Distracting? You thought.

Leaning closer, you managed to catch Cal by surprise, noticing how his brows rose slightly before bringing your lips to his.

           Cal immediately melted into your touch, shifting his weight so he was now hovering over you. Eyes shut, you grinned into the kiss, feeling one of Cal’s hands tangling itself into your hair, while the other rested beside your head, still clutching your scarred hand.

           You never got tired of this. Kissing Cal, tasting him, feeling the heat radiate from his body, it was intoxicating.

           You couldn’t help but think back to the first time you and Cal kissed. It was back on Bracca, back when you felt endlessly tired each and every day, a direct result of the hard work you both endured there. During your time as scrappers, you and Cal had grown closer. And despite what your former jedi masters may have thought on the matter, Cal and you could no longer hide the way you felt about each other. For years you had pushed and pulled, pushed and pulled, but the feelings never subsided. The two of you were like magnets, no matter how hard you tried to pull apart, you always found a way back to each other.

It was strange, but you often found yourself missing the privacy you had on Bracca. While you loved the cozy space given to you abord the Mantis, Cal and you were both extremely aware of how thin the walls were. On Bracca, the small dwellings you had called your temporary home did allow you and Cal the luxury of being with each other without any interruption.

           Cal moaned into your mouth as you bite down on his lower lip, a sound that was music to your ears. In retaliation, Cal moved his lips lower, trailing a path from your jaw to your neck. You could feel his tongue against your skin, as he began nipping the surface lightly.

           Threading your hands though his red locks, you began to laugh, pulling his head back.

           “Cal?” you began, pulling a little hard, which only seemed to encourage his actions.

           “Cal,” You repeated, trying not to give him to satisfaction of sighing his name as you finally managed to lift his head.

           “Hmmm?” He managed, his eyes dazed and glossed over.

           “I’m sorry,” you say, definitely not sorry whatsoever, “Am distracting you?”

           Cal’s green eyes practically sparked as he let out a husky laugh, “You know what, forget what I said earlier, you can distract me anytime you want.”

           Now it was your turn to laugh, smiling at his light-heart, yet serious demeanor as he attempted to return to his work on your neck, causing you to push back against his shoulders.

           “Cal,” you whined, “We have to be quiet.”

           The look Cal gave you was enough to make your toes curl, “What if I don’t want to be quiet?”

           “Cal,” you repeated, pushing yourself up on your elbows, “Do you really want Greez coming back here again? Remember what happened last time?”

           Cal groaned, running a hand through his hair before leaning back onto his knees, “Don’t remind me.” He mumbled, shuttering slightly at the memory.

           Looking up at him now, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for the jedi boy you’re lucky enough to call yours. Rising to your knees as well, you gently laid your hand once more to Cal’s face, this time bringing your lips to his cheek. Pulling back, you smiled warmly at him, resting your foreheads together.

           Against everything, all the horrors you’ve faced, the force led him to you, brought him into your life. Memories began to play in your head, memories your cherished more than anything else. The first time you saw Cal on Coruscant, both of you shy younglings hiding behind your respected masters. Another time, of you and Cal on Bracca, holding onto one another after Cal awoke from one of his nightmares. And your favorite memory, of you simply watching him as he tinkered at his work bench, talking softly to BD-1 about what he was doing. You let all those images of him and more flood into your mind.

           You could feel Cal’s hands wrap around you, squeezing slightly as he leaned into your touch. Because of his unique gift, you knew he could see it, see all you wanted to share with him. You smiled as you heard his chuckle, which caused you to finally pull back and look at each other properly.

           “What is it?” you ask.

           Cal’s eyes crinkled slightly, his smile brighter than ever, “It’s just nice to know I have that sort of effect on you.”

           You gasp, lightly hitting his shoulder, “Cal Kestis! You smug son of a-”

           But he didn’t let you finish your scolding, instead his lips found your once more, giving you a quick peck before whispering against your lips.

           “(Y/N), we need to be quiet, remember?”

           You narrowed your eyes at him just for a second, and after a few moments, you soon found yourself back in your same position of tangled bodies, your back against Cal’s chest as he rests his chin above your head.

           “Hey, Cal?” You whisper, sleep already coming to you.

           “Hmm?” he response, sleep definitely on his mind.

           “I….” but you pause, not sure how to say the words.

           But Cal’s hands found yours, giving them a squeeze, “I know.”

           You feel him press a kiss into your hair, and you smile, drifting off to sleep in the arms of your best friend.

[space-princess-genesis]

Caged Bird. Chapter II (Kabal x Genesis)

(Chapter 2 on how the two met!! A little bit longer than Chap. 1 but not by a lot. I wanted this to be more fluffy because this contains their first date. But enjoy! Next fire will be their first time so get ready!)

Pairing: Kabal x Genesis (OC)

Warnings: Small mention of verbal abuse and physical, angst, and fluff.

Word Count: 4,495

“Princess! Stay away from him!” Raiden sternly said. He had seen what had happened in the past few minutes. Now he realized where she had gone all those times. And he was not happy about it. Genesis gets up from the sand and begins to plead with Raiden. “Raiden! He’s not like the others! I promise!” Raiden didn’t know the whole story about him. Kabal was an amazing guy. Clearly Raiden was judging Kabal by the cover. “You should never trust a member of the Black Dragon Princess!” Raiden was furious. He knows what the Black Dragon members can do. Raiden looked like he was ready to fight Genesis, but she was still pleading with him. “I don’t want to fight you! Please!… Let’s talk.” It took a few moments for Raiden to cool his thunder. Whatever Genesis had to say, he listen, but he’ll mostly likely not agree with the things she’s have to say. “How long have you been seeing him Princess?” He asked. Genesis could tell in the tone of his voice - he was angry. “A long time Raiden.” Raiden was taken back. She had said this with pride. Who cared if Kabal is a mercenary? Genesis had seen past the bad in Kabal and found the good in him. He wasn’t Kabal, member of the Black Dragon, he was Kabal, a sweet, funny, and handsome man. But Raiden had thought differently. A member of the Black Dragon was certainly not fit for someone of the royal family, especially one from another world. “I expected more from you Princess.” Raiden honestly though Genesis would have met with a man of higher expectation, not a mercenary. Especially Kabal. “In all my life Raiden, I’ve been talked down to and locked up. Kabal is the only person who I have met who doesn’t even come close to doing any of those things to me. He’s the only person whose made me feel like a person and not an item! He makes me feel whole! I…I’m in love with him Raiden…” She said it out loud. Both for Kabal and Raiden to hear and take in. “Gen….” Kabal is star-struck. But he smiles up at her. He gets up and holds her hand. “I know you aren’t happy with that Raiden, but it is my choice. I can’t live behind a cage anymore. I want to be set free.” Genesis had started to tear up. All those years of her life, being locked up in a cage, waiting to be set free.  Raiden was in disarray. “Princess, I… can’t believe it has come to this.” Raiden is still in disbelief. Genesis had walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. “I know you aren’t happy with my decision, but you need to understand Raiden. I can make my own decisions. I don’t have my mother, father, or brothers here to make decisions for me. I’m my own being now…” Raiden thought for a moment. She was right. She finally is her own being. Who was he to revel in her life and decisions? Raiden took a deep breath before speaking. “Princess…you do have the right to make your own decisions. Whatever decision you make, I will stand by it. You have my word.” Raiden quickly comes to terms with her decision, even if it was one he didn’t like. Genesis gives Raiden a big hug. He’s taken back and stumbles backwards a little bit but holds his composure. He hugs her back. “Thank you Raiden…” Genesis says softly. “My pleasure Princess…”

Genesis is the first to break away from the hug. “I’m leaving to go live with Kabal too.” Genesis had walked back to Kabal, who was standing there watching the two talk. Kabal puts an arm around her shoulders. “When will you be leaving?” Raiden asked. “Right now. I know it’s so short notice, but, I need to do this Raiden.” Raiden doesn’t expect this answer, so did Kabal, but he went with it. Kabal had thought if she did accept his offer, what would it be like to live with her? He’s gotten to know so much of her over the whole year that they have known each other, nothing could go south. He’s fallen in love, deep love with Genesis. “If this is what your heart desires Princess, then let it be.” With that, Genesis gives Raiden a smile. “I’ll come and visit you. Don’t you worry, I’m not that easy to get rid of.” Kabal and Genesis give a small chuckle. “Goodbye for now, Princess.” With that, Raiden had teleports back to the Sky Temple.

“Wait…don’t you need your clothes?” Kabal asked Genesis due to the fact that Raiden just left. “This is my only article of clothing Kabal…Wait a minute…you’ve known me for a whole year and hadn’t realized that I was just wearing this!?!” During the whole span of their relationship, Kabal never took notice that Genesis was wearing her battle suit all the time. The only thing he could focus on was her. “Oh…” Genesis begins to laugh with Kabal joining in a few seconds later. Soon enough, both of them are laughing because of Kabal’s unawareness. The laughter dies down, and Genesis explains to Kabal that due to her belongings being destroyed in the destruction of her home world, Genesis basically only had her battle suit with her, well, on her.  “Geez…” Kabal thought on what he could do for her. “Hmm…how about I take you somewhere I think you may enjoy…” Kabal had an idea. A fun one, and risky one - well, more so for his credit card.

~

Later in the day, Kabal took Genesis to the mall. Reason being is because Genesis needed clothes. Not tournament suits, REAL clothes. After realizing she had only one outfit basically, he had to do something about it. “Kabal what is this big scary place?” Genesis held his hand as they walked into the entrance. It was a new place. Not home, not the Sky Temple, something different - and bigger. “You’ll see Gen.” Kabal reassured her. He understood her fear, but he worried more on how people would react to seeing a girl like her. Black body, white eyes, and purple-tipped hair. You know what…why should they care? They should instead be bowing her. She’s a gorgeous fucking princess - his princess for a matter of fact. But no one seemed to care as the two are walking through the mall. Kabal did catch some other man gawking at Genesis, which led to Kabal giving him the death stare. They are about to walk into a store nearby - Nordstrom’s. Why? Only the best clothing fit for a princess like Genesis. “So here’s how it works. You pick whatever you want, try it on in those fitting rooms over there, like what you see on, show me, and I’ll buy it for you.” With his Black Dragon coin, he could probably buy a whole city, no the whole world for her. “But Kabal! I can’t do that! I don’t have the mon-“ Before Genesis could speak further, Kabal interrupted her. He holds her hands in his own. “Look, I didn’t get to tell you this earlier, but… I love you Genesis. I consider you to be more than just a friend of mine.” Genesis knew what he was going to say but wasn’t sure of it. But he finally got the courage to say it. “What do you consider me Kabal?” She questioned the man who stood before her. “My girlfriend.” Genesis softens her expression. She never would think to hear that word in the course of her lifetime said to her. Girlfriend…has a nice ring to it. Genesis smiles after hearing that. “Also, I have the right to spoil my princess as much as I want to.” Genesis give out a short giggle. “Hehe okay.”

So, Genesis picks out a wide variety of clothes to try on. Shirts, shorts, jeans, shoes, dresses, you name it. It took over an hour for Genesis to try on clothing items. Kabal would sit in front of her dressing room and wait for her to try on each piece. If he liked it he would thumbs up, if he didn’t, thumbs down. It’s funny because whenever Kabal would thumbs down, Genesis would leave the dressing room and go find something else to try on, making this process longer. “This is kinda fun!” Kabal smiles. She just looked so giddy and adorable. “I knew you’d like this.” Kabal was waiting in the dressing room waiting for Genesis to try on her last clothing item which was a dress. She walks out and shows Kabal it. “So…what do you think of this one?” She gives a 360 degree spin of the dress. He is shocked. His heart stops. He runs his hand on his head. She is absolutely stunning. “Wow…” The dress is white, but more of an off-white. It shows off her a lot of her perfect back. But the best part isn’t that; It hugs her body in the right places, like it perfectly fits her. “I’m guessing that’s an audio cue for thumbs up?” Kabal nods when she asks the question. “Oh yeah! Hehe. You look so beautiful in that. I’m just blown away. And it’s perfect for the date I’m taking you on.”  “Date? A date?!? When?!” Genesis was wide-eyed and surprised. She never thought in all her life she would go on a date. “Soon. But I’m not giving you any more details. I will say it’s a date.” Genesis crosses her arms and smirks at Kabal. How dare he not give her any details. Oh well, at least it will be somewhat of a surprise. The two finally finish in Nordstrom and go on to other stores. H & M, Zara, Cotton On, Urban Outfitters, Victoria’s Secret (She was too shy to show Kabal what she tried on because of how exposing it is), she wanted it, he bought it. But it was getting late, and it was time to go home.

The two come home to Kabal’s apartment, more like their apartment now. They walk in with all these bags of clothes, and Genesis is met with a mess, but more of a neat mess of an apartment. “So, this is where you live?” She looked around the apartment. Standard couch, TV, kitchen, bookcase with these little books. “Yeah, it’s your home now too, so make yourself comfortable.” Kabal said. “Your bookshelf, it has…” Genesis did not know what word to use. It wasn’t a book or magazine, or maybe it was something in-between those. “Comics. I’m a big fan, it was one of the few good memories I had growing up and I cherish every single one of them.” Kabal had a huge collection of old and new comic books, some worth a lot. “I love that.” Kabal was surprised that Genesis had said that. “Really?” He doubted that she was being honest. “Yes! Its what I’ve figured about some Earthrealmers here. They all like collecting something. Whether it be books, or bottle caps. It really makes you cherish the little things when you collect something.” Kabal smiles at her words. Wow, she was right. How could a girl with so little knowledge of the outside world know so much? “So, you hungry?” It was late. Most good places were closed right about now. “Quite a bit actually.” In that moment, her stomach growled. “Actually, I’m very hungry.” “Well, I’m a shit cook, and I really don’t feel like putting any effort, so let me be the first to introduce you to Earthrealm’s greatest invention. Pizza.” Pizza was Kabal’s life. Literally in his freezer, he only has his favorite frozen pizzas. The best ones that don’t taste like cardboard. Plus, pizza was the on of the few things he couldn’t screw up. “Oooo. That sound wonderful!” Genesis was excited. Brand new foods. At the Sky Temple, there wasn’t a large variety of foods to choose from. So to experience something new, she was pumped for it. “Sick! So, go change into whatever pajamas I bought you and I order something alright?” He would order and then give Genesis a chance to get used to regular clothes. “Ah okay.” Genesis quickly grabs something out of the bags of clothes and changes in the bathroom while Kabal orders the pizza. After Kabal orders the pizza for delivery, Genesis walks out. She’s wearing a lavender velvet camisole and matching shorts. And bunny slippers. “You. Look. Fucking. Adorable.” Well, she does. “Really?” She doubted it, oh how she doubted it. “Yes! Fuck, I love you so much!” He goes to pick her up and twirls her around. He kisses her on the forehead and walks her over to the couch and shows her how to play old board games as they wait. They get their pizza and eat on the small dinner table Kabal had in his apartment. “So what do you think?” He asked as Genesis had already took a bite of this Margherita pizza he ordered. “It’s wonderful! It’s flavorful and seasoned wonderfully!” It wasn’t like anything she’s had before. Most food that she had was very upperclass, but this was totally different. “Hehe, okay Gordon Ramsey.” He had to make the comparison. “Who?” Oh no, she had to say ‘Who’ . After dinner, Kabal showed her a few episodes of Kitchen Nightmares. To Kabal’s surprise, she enjoyed it. She laughed and commented on some parts in which the walk-in fridges were unkept. “Are you SERIOUS?”, “Ewwww…”, “ Why is she obsessed with cats?”. It was these little things that made Kabal love her so much.

Some cold pizza and a few Kitchen Nightmares later, it was time for bed. “Okay, sooo, it’s 2:11, time for bed.” Kabal had to go into work tomorrow not to early thankful, but still, he had to.  “Okay! So, where will I be sleeping?” Genesis asked with curiosity. His apartment was big, but not big enough for two bedrooms. “With me.” She raises her eyebrows at the thought of sleeping with Kabal in the same bed.  “Oh, I will…” The thought of sleeping of someone was completely new to her.  “You seem scared? Why Princess?” The sound of that name calms Genesis down. “It’s just, I usually sleep alone… I have been for my whole life.” She furrows her brows of the memories of her mother yelling at her that she will be alone forever as a way to keep her in her room. It was an awful memory, but it creeped back up on her. Kabal puts his strong arms around her in a warm embrace .“Well I’m not going to pressure you okay? I want you to feel comfortable okay?” Kabal wanted his princess to feel safe and secure, and the best way was to make sure she was comfortable. But the feeling of being in his arms, the warmth, the comfort, it made her feel warm to on the the inside. It was nothing like she’s had ever before. Gosh she loved him. “I love you Kabal.” The way it came out of her mouth, full of sweetness and love. “I love you too Genesis.” Genesis grabs his hand and walks him over to his bedroom. She walks into what she assumes is their bedroom and has a quick look around. “Quite cozy.” Kabal smirks at her quirkiness. He lifts her up in his arms and walks over to his bed and lays her down in the sheets. He rolls the comforter on her and goes on his side of the bed. After he lays down, Genesis cuddles up to him and lays a hand on his chest. It was a little weird at the moment for Genesis as she’s never slept with someone, but the feeling of his heartbeat under her hand makes her feel whole. He wraps an arm around her and the two exchange goodnights and fall asleep in each others arms.

~

A couple weeks past and Genesis has already gotten used to her new life outside the Sky Temple. It’s a lot more fun here than it was there. She could do a lot more things than she was able to do before. Whenever Kabal was at work, she would teach herself how to cook some new dishes, read some of Kabal’s comics, and so much more. It was the early evening and Kabal had just gotten home. “Gen! I’m home!” Genesis was reading a random book that she found in their bedroom. “Hey babe! How was work?” Genesis was wearing an oversized thermal with some high waisted shorts. “Usual. Kano was on my ass, killed a couple people, and fucked around. Same old same old.” There was nothing interesting ever in the Black Dragon, except for killing people. And money. Don’t forget about the money. “Hehe. I guess some things never change.” Genesis giggled. “Yep… Say, you’re not ready.” Genesis got confused after he said that.“Ready for what?” They didn’t have anything planned out for tonight. So what could he have planned? “Tonight.” Genesis was REALLY confused. “Well, what’s tonight?” Kabal smirked in this instance. A bulb lighted up in her head. “Oh my gosh really?!?” Genesis was ecstatic. A date! And their first one! “Oh my gosh. Uhm, let me get changed!” She ran over to her closet wooing on the way there. “What should I wear? Oh yeah…that one…” She grabbed the dress that Kabal loved. The last dress she tried on from Nordstrom. She undressed from her current garb into the dress and looked at herself in the mirror. Not like the dresses from Kosmos, but still beautiful. While she was doing that, Kabal changed into a matching suit, but without a tie. He too looked in the mirror. “Nice…” Self-confidence was key for Kabal. If he looked good, he felt good. The two walked out of their closets as the same time and stared at each other in awe, just like the first time they met. “Wow… I knew I was stunned then but now…” Kabal was in total awe of her again. Just the look of her it sent him to the moon. “I can say the same for you handsome.” Kabal blushed at the sound of that. “Well…I…” he couldn’t say the right words. Genesis then kisses his cheek. Which made Kabal utter complete gibberish.  “Hehe, come on. Let’s go.” Genesis took his hand out the door on the way to their destination.

He took her to this very pretty restaurant by the beach. It was filled with fairy lights, plants and flowers, and it was overall magical. “Wow. It’s so…beautiful!” Genesis could not keep her joy in. She was enthralled by how amazing the place looked. “Wait until you try the food.” Because Kabal was a shit chef, anything that tasted better than what he made was a masterpiece. “Ooooo, I’m excited! And, I’m excited to spend time with you… In a more…how do I say…intimate matter.” Genesis had said this because every night Kabal would come home they would watch TV, play board games, or go get some fast-food. This was different. “Same here. I love you so much Genesis. I know I’ve been saying that a lot, but I truly do so-“ As Kabal was talking the waiter comes over and takes their order. They put the previous conversation to the side and talk about more fun things like what Genesis would do on her free time and she would ask the same to him. The two then eat their meals and have drinks. This was Genesis’s first time drinking Earthrealm alcohol, so her face was priceless when she drank it. Kabal couldn’t keep his laughter in. “It’s so much stronger than my worlds liquor.” The liquor on her world was very light. For example, the darkest beer for them would be Earthrealms medium beer.  The two finish up their meals and Kabal asks her on how the food was. “It was wonderful! I’ve never had food so delicious and yummy from my time being here!” The food she had tonight had been drastically different from the food she had been eating. This was seasoned beautifully and cooked with love and warmth. “I’m glad you liked it. Now, shall we?” Kabal paid and they left. They got out of the restaurant and Kabal held out his arm. “Uh, what are you doing?” Genesis got confused by the gesture Kabal was making. “Men on your world didn’t do this?” He then realized the Genesis has never had a boyfriend. This was her first time experiencing everything that couples do. “Uh well, Earthrealm men usually do this as a way to show…gentlemanly-ness! So, you put your hand on the crook of my arm and forearm and we walk.” Genesis did as Kabal said and put her hand where he told her to put it. “Like this?” Kabal smiled. “Yeah, just like that.” They began walking towards an unknown destination. Where? Only he knew. “Where are you taking me now Kabal?” She was interested and a little confused. “You’ll see. Close your eyes.” He smirked. “Okay…” She closed her eyes and hung on to Kabal tightly as her guided her to her destination.

He took her to the beach at sunset. It’s really gorgeous, the sunset, perfect for a gorgeous princess. “So what does that sound like?” Kabal wanted to quiz her before she opened her eyes. “The ocean?” What else would it sound like? “Hehe, open your eyes.” She’s had her eyes closed for a while now, she had to blink with the remaining bright sunlight out. But what she had saw, made the wait worthwhile. She smiled and ran out closer to the ocean but not into the water. She stood there and took in the ocean smell. She loved that smell; so inviting and clean. She began to think about the times that she would sneak out of the palace just to come to the beach. The beach was always empty, so she would have it to herself. It was the only place she could be free and away from all the verbal abuse of her mother. Mother… Just the thought of her made her sad. We’re talking about a woman who was jealous of her own daughter for having powers more powerful than the whole world of Kosmos, a woman who made her daughter feel low by making her feel so worthless, a women who kept her locked up for her whole life. All these thoughts began making Genesis shed quiet tears. Kabal, thinking that she’s just basking in the ocean air, walks up to her but sees her sad expression when he noticed the tears. “Hey. Are you okay?” He was worried. “Uh…well…I just…” She was twiddling her hands and looking down at them, she didn’t want to look up at him and show him her tears. “I was…thinking about my mother.” She wasn’t lying. What else could she tell him? “Okay, what about her?” Kabal knew about her mother and how he would yell at Genesis for trying to leave the palace, but Genesis was going to tell him more. Genesis choked on almost every word as she would talk. Just saying the awful things her mother would say, broke her. “She… would throw me in my room very rough… and slap me… and tell me that I had no potential and how I was weak…” Kabal had a softened facial expression, but he wasn’t having it. “I don’t know about you, but having someone say how worthless you are especially having it said by your mother, really hurts!” She began to let the tears out. Kabal had not seen Genesis this vulnerable since the first time they fought each other. He grabs her arms and turns her towards him. “Listen to me Genesis. When I first met you, you kicked my ass. Most people can’t do that. But what I’m trying to say is you’re stronger than anything imaginable. You are a literal QUEEN in my mind. You are the most talented, strongest, and beautiful girl Earthrealm has even seen…and I’ve seen as well.” Kabal’s words of endearment weren’t lifting Genesis spirits up. She still was crying. “Kabal! It just hurts so much! I never got to see the city, travel farther inland, or do anything! I’ve been locked in a cage for my WHOLE life!” As she bawled out, Kabal just can’t stop looking into her eyes, they were pure white, just like snow. And they glistened in the dying sunlight and with every tear she shed. He loves her. You could tell it in his eyes. The way he always looked at her when they would do anything together. Something about her…no, it was just her. “I've just been wanting to be set fr-“ She stopped talking. Kabal had put her lips on her. Did he, kiss her? Genesis was shocked. Her eyes are wide open and her eyebrow muscles were furrowed. Her eyes kept tearing down as she closed her eyes and accepted the kiss. He ran his hands down her arms and onto her lower back. Gosh her skin was so soft. He pulled her in closer. It was quiet, with only the sun setting and the sound of the ocean, it was perfect. Kabal was the first to break away. He wanted to see her reaction to what he had just did. Her eyes were still closed, her mouth was slightly parted, and she had a small smile too. “That…that was…wow…” She had calmed down a lot. But Kabal didn’t do that to calm her down, he did that because he loved her. He looks her hands in his. “Genesis, I want you to know, that I will always protect you no matter what situations happen. I love you so much, from the bottom of my heart.” Genesis took one of her hands that was occupied by his and put it on his chest where his heart would be. She also took his hand and put it on her chest where her heart would be. They both could feel each others heartbeats. It felt as there was a connection. “I love you Kabal.” She reached up and kissed him. He smiled underneath the kiss and hugged her. Throughout all of Genesis’s life, she never thought she would have this. A new life, seeing a whole new world, and a loving boyfriend. After everything that seemed to have happened to her, this was the honestly the best thing to happen to her. Her whole life she was a bird locked in a cage. Kabal was the key to the lock, and he had set her free.

[opalmothnightingale]

6- 7- 18 - I want to soon write about my first priorities, ...  My first priorities, ... reviewed, refined and narrowed,... And, the first questions I want to ask to spirit and seek guidance and also to study and collect my own ideas that come to me, from wherever, that I search or that just arise to me, from wherever,...  From my memory, and from my life, people, etc...  

I like to think of the ordinary, and simple garden plants and weeds make me think of this,...  Reminders of times, places, stretched out, repeated, and simple places, times, spent with people,...  My daughter, my family, and whoever,...  I know it’s a blurry pic at bottom, couldn’t get a good one, but I love those weedy flowers, so whatever... 

I want these questions to just be new and fresh and every little moment to cherish them, to let them be vibrant and nourishing, grounding and simple, humble and centered, a feeling of home, within, and from without and from spirit to hold me there, all over, wherever it may be coming to me from,...  

All this supports me and my life, and my daughter, and all those I affect, and she affects, and every time I am given love and blessings and help and ideas it comes to me fresh, cleansing, and sparkling clearly, with vivid colors reflected from the light shining through, that very simple moment, held in the danger, held by spirit who protects and catches me when I fall, holds my hand, when the danger is right with me, because it is in that time that I am most humble, open, and wanting the help, ego is dismantled, a little or a lot, in the humility of the lack of certainty, the sheer fear and confusion and need and lack but trust and using what’s available, searching among the shards and the ruins for what I can use, and being grateful and mindful, in wonder of awe at each thing that is good, and holding on with faith in what I’ve learned and gained to use, protect and guide us, ...  

Which is a lot,...  It’s quite exciting kind of,...  Because the chance to fall is like a free fall, a sky dive, exhilerating and daring and rejuvenating and adrenaline coursing, like here is the chance to see what will happen, to really try, to really give spirit a chance to swoop in with grace in my life and show me what I need to learn or believe and to trust and have faith in these things,...  I hope and if it’s not like that then I don’t blame spirit but just thinking sometimes things have to happen that even spirit can’t stop, ...  

Not “meant to be” but still inevitable, because we are players in this game, in my view,...  Still power and freedom and miracles do have a place, grace and salvation, protection and upholding the right,...  These have a place, I do feel...  I have had it happen to me, too often in my own life, to doubt the power of those things,...  And so I am ecstatic in a sense, sometimes, when I get to free fall and see if I land ok, or do some stunt and see if I am caught by spirit, instead of destroyed,...  Yes, call it crazy,..  

But life is too,...  If you have no choice, then sometimes you have to make a mad dash for freedom,...  To seize the power back that is really your own if you can,...  if you have a decent chance to try,...  Human nature has evolved for enjoying things like this,...  Nature is like this,...  Risk, danger, life and death, decay, suffering, atrophy, the destruction and distortion of things,...  It is life, truly,...  If you can know it, and then put it aside, and move on, then it can feel exhilarating, ...  At least, as long as you’re ok enough,....  What doesn’t kill you can make you suffer miserably for the rest of your life, wishing you were dead instead,..  Sorry, it sometimes is like that...  Reckless bravery is not always rewarded or worth it but when you have no choice enjoy it while and for as long as you can, hoping it will turn out ok...  Ha

And how did I go from humble simple present moments to this?  Well that’s how it feels in my energy, trauma, imagination, sometimes...  Little decisions can feel life threatening sometimes,...  Even though they might really be, but I know that part of it is my mind catastrophizing or whatever,...  Except part of it is like the saying about not being paranoid, it really is that bad, etc.  Yes, some of my problems really are that bad, that it’s not really catastrophizing, so much,...  

a little, but not as much as it seems, to someone who hasn’t had the illnesses, mental illnesses, behavioral issues, and abusive situations and being a complete outcast that can easily slip through the cracks of life and society to die and be left to die by all who can’t find any way to help me, that will really work,...  No, no it’s not so exaggeration after all,...  It’s not so far fetched, ...  but, just a little bit. I am the only one who acknowledges this because for anyone else to do so is kind of like telling someone, Hmm...  Lol  ...  Like, something along the lines of, “Yeah, you really are doomed.”  

Many would be so defeatist as to use terms like that if they were to be honest, open, about it all...  They don’t want to say such a “negative” thing about someone to their face, so they refrain from saying anything oftentimes or make it seem sweeter, easier, more optimistic,

They would do this, again and again it surprises me,...  They do this, 

...  but I wonder, why?  I guess, in hopes that will encourage the person.  Or it’s denial, too, too painful to face the pain others have to face, even vicariously by acknowledging it’s real,...  Quickly brush it aside,...   Out of mind,...  And I know it’s true...  

And, so, yeah my family was like this,...  I could just tell they wanted to put it out of their minds, not to hear about my problems, which were too painful

... I guess, just far too painful for them,...  too much pain, to be open and real about, too shameful, taboo,...  So they all went into collective denial about my illnesses...