#international building code
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thebookbash · 2 months ago
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International Building Code 2021 (ibc 2021) is a must-have addition to your book collection. It provides comprehensive regulations for building safety, covering structural design, fire prevention and lot more. Grab this book from one of the top known book seller "The Bookbash". This book is essential for architects, engineers, and code officials to ensure safe and compliant construction practices. Purchase this book now to get a higher discount that no one offer you.
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resdraft · 5 months ago
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High-Quality CAD Drafting for Construction & Renovation
We use AutoCAD, Revit, and Chief Architect to deliver top-tier drafts that adhere to industry standards and local building codes. Serving Arizona, Texas, and Florida, we provide builders, architects, and homeowners with the clarity and precision drafting services needed for successful construction and renovation projects.
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kagooleo · 5 months ago
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happy new years 2025! it's been nearly a whole year since I started posting about fluffyriceshipping here, and my art has changed a lot since then! what better way to start the new year than with some sweet potatoes with their partners 🍠🌅
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anonymusbosch · 6 months ago
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oh no, i established myself as Capable Of and Willing To Perform some minor annoying administrative tasks at work and now am being tossed additional requests to perform said tasks
i know that in a strict financial view it makes sense to spend 20 minutes of junior engineer time on mundane-annoying-task than 20 minutes of senior staff engineer time but have you considered: I Don't Like It
#something i am pondering whether it is wise or worthwhile to communicate#my internal terminology is 'I'll do it for a Scooby snack' 'this is a two Scooby snack request minimum“#this is not what i articulate externally. yet .#the upside is learning how to use a variety of different systems and making connections with more people#both in a human to human perspective and in a like#the downside is I'm Being Asked To Do Things That Are Annoying.#there's also a like. gendered aspect of this that rubs me the wrong way a little#in so many mech eng spaces I've seen a tendency for organizational/logistical/annoying work to be disproportionately uptaken by women#women (and bosch) (trans)#getting clocked as trans for my object-organizing + project management + administrative task tendencies. or something.#the tendency maybe esp of senior engineers to consider the organization/admin/logistics not ... 'part of the work' or 'part of their job'?#or smth best handed off to someone more secretary-coded#idk i view org/pming/admin as crucial to Making Things Get Done and also everything is an opportunity to connect with someone#both in a human to human perspective and also like.#if i do need to call in a favor it's coming from me as someone who has had positive interactions + will lend a hand with something in return#like. the mycorrhizal network.#it's 4 AM and i am Not sleep. take this all grain of salt style#maybe the temporary view I can take is that i am getting more chances to build that myconet#the upside again is that if person-who-asks-tasks says “oh such and such can't be done/will take forever” i am sometimes able to#*jean luc picard voice* make it so#we'll see
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aeolianblues · 20 days ago
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comp sci is still a great field to get hired within, provided you magically already have 5 years of experience, then the amounts of money they want to pay you are obscene. You’ll make more in an hour than my min-wage part time friends will make in a week. Also everyone’s willing to take you for free. Which is why there are ‘jobs’ in the US tech market. Ask those ‘interns’ how much they’re making. No-pay jobs are illegal in Canada and that’s why no one’s hiring. That’s why the stories about how programmers and otherwise thinking roles in software development are ‘obsolete’ and ‘can be done by AI’. They can’t actually. Firstly because having your AI write your code would require you to give someone like OpenAI, Google or Meta, third parties that are not between you and your clients, protected data, which is insane. Secondly the one non-tech guy you retain or the tech lead you’ve asked to double check the AI’s work but is in Teams meetings from 6 AM to 7 PM, is not going to catch an AI’s various security vulnerabilities. So have fun. “We don’t need software developers anymore” my whole entire sat-in-an-office-chair-for-8-hours ass. Private companies will crumble without us. This is purely a cash thing.
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weirdmageddon · 8 months ago
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this is the biggest pokemon leak weve ever seen. holy fuck.
a gamefreak employee got phished in a dev portal. i feel really really bad for them. but at the same time so much of this is amazing. i love cut content. i love seeing the process of making stuff. so i have mixed feelings, but i’m going to set that aside.
ive been here for multiple beta leaks since the spaceworld gold demo in 2018 and the diamond and pearl beta leak somewhere after that. this is by far the most intensive leak of beta pokemon stuff ive seen.
source code and beta builds for gens 3, 4, 5, and later 6 and 7. it is MASSIVE.
there is so fucking much and you can see coverage here
edit: if you dont have twitter (elon is a shitbag i dont blame you) you can go on r/PokeLeaks
this document from junichi masuda made in 2005 is the highlight for me, the symbol used in the hgss arceus event. it seems the legendaries are like a greek pantheon of deities
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but we got more
internal development and discussion. universe creation lore, character profiles (e.g. skyla is a sexy latina pilot inspired by jennifer lopez and isabella fontana), never before seen designs, seen-before designs (latiken had a fucking sprite!), concept art, gen 3 had some darker looking discarded dev art. WHAT IS THIS IT RULES
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here are compiled beta sprites from gens 3, 4, 5
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littlestickfish · 2 years ago
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Edit: I fucking. Said "us" in the notes. I am not even Catholic anymore
I just grew up so immersed in the culture and theology (3rd generation Sicilian-American) that even after 6 years as a Gnostic I still cannot stop using the first person plural
Roman Catholicism is the Hotel California of religions
Being raised by areligious jews with 0 exposure to christianity outside pop culture is so fun. One time I asked my ex-catholic friend why a picture of jesus had a bristle crown and she looked at me like I was insane. One time I heard someone mention the "lance of longinus" and responded, word for word, "Like from Evangelion?" One time during a history lesson my professor described an important monk and scholar as "Dominican" and I spent the rest of class super confused and hung up on it because I was very sure that the Dominican Republic didn't meaningfully exist as an entity back then, maybe she meant he was a native Taino or something but that's a weird way to say that and I'm pretty sure this was pre- European contact? Really fucks people up when they realize I genuinely have no idea.
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neverendingford · 8 months ago
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#tag talk#watching media not in English is honestly so fun. my brain loves trying to pick out sentence structure and individual words#as someone who was obsessed with writing and learning codes as a kid it's unsurprising#I've realized that I very well could finally become multilingual and it's a really exciting thought#I just wish language learning apps didn't suck so much. I very well might have to start keeping a notebook for vocabulary#but I've been watching Puerta 7 and listening exclusively to music in Spanish for about the past week#and next year my brother and I are gonna take Spanish together at the community college once we move#cause he wants to travel internationally and maybe live abroad so language learning would be super useful#he's not as good with language as I am but that'll just mean I get to help him with it#anyway. I think I'm gonna dig out a notebook and start planning how I'm gonna do this#I really really wanna get good enough to read books and articles in Spanish. cause reading is cool and great and builds vocab#I think this is only possible now that I've been medicated for a while.#like. I wish I could have done this years ago but I accept the fact that I've been on a journey#and chasing your dreams is only possible once you're in a position to do so. my brain was too fucked before.#so external motivation was the only way I could make progress. whereas now I have the ability to internally motivate.#I can do dishes. clean my room. fold laundry. make food. and finally learn a language in my own way.#I wish language learning apps didn't fucking suck so doggamn much. they're really the worst. even as a kid I hated Rosetta Stone.#I needed to find my own way to learn and I'm still figuring it out but I will. I know I will.#I will be successful and I will chase the things I love in life and even if things go wrong I will work to improve my life#and part of that self actualization is learning the language I've grown up with and yet never learned. and then I can learn other languages#because I genuinely wanna learn a lot of languages. hell I taught myself a little bit of spoken elvish as a kid. it's in my blood I guess.#being monolingual is genuinely distressing for me tbh.#shit I should ask my sibling for book recommendations and I can buy something to start pulling vocabulary from.#for now I can pull words from songs or tv. that's a good starting point. even if I prefer the aesthetic of studying a book#except first I'm gonna fold my laundry and change my bedsheets#bye y'all
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bonediggercharleston · 5 months ago
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I am very wary of people going "China does it better than America" because most of it is just reactionary rejection of your overlord in favor of his rival, but this story is 1. absolutely legit and 2. way too funny.
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US wants to build an AI advantage over China, uses their part in the chip supply chain to cut off China from the high-end chip market.
China's chip manufacturing is famously a decade behind, so they can't advance, right?
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They did see it as a problem, but what they then did is get a bunch of Computer Scientists and Junior Programmers fresh out of college and funded their research in DeepSeek. Instead of trying to improve output by buying thousands of Nvidia graphics cards, they tried to build a different kind of model, that allowed them to do what OpenAI does at a tenth of the cost.
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Them being young and at a Hedgefund AI research branch and not at established Chinese techgiants seems to be important because chinese corporate culture is apparently full of internal sabotage, so newbies fresh from college being told they have to solve the hardest problems in computing was way more efficient than what usually is done. The result:
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American AIs are shook. Nvidia, the only company who actually is making profit cause they are supplying hardware, took a hit. This is just the market being stupid, Nvidia also sells to China. And the worst part for OpenAI. DeepSeek is Open Source.
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Anybody can implement deepseek's model, provided they have the hardware. They are totally independent from DeepSeek, as you can run it from your own network. I think you will soon have many more AI companies sprouting out of the ground using this as its base.
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What does this mean? AI still costs too much energy to be worth using. The head of the project says so much himself: "there is no commercial use, this is research."
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What this does mean is that OpenAI's position is severely challenged: there will soon be a lot more competitors using the DeepSeek model, more people can improve the code, OpenAI will have to ask for much lower prices if it eventually does want to make a profit because a 10 times more efficient opensource rival of equal capability is there.
And with OpenAI or anybody else having lost the ability to get the monopoly on the "market" (if you didn't know, no AI company has ever made a single cent in profit, they all are begging for investment), they probably won't be so attractive for investors anymore. There is a cheaper and equally good alternative now.
AI is still bad for the environment. Dumb companies will still want to push AI on everything. Lazy hacks trying to push AI art and writing to replace real artists will still be around and AI slop will not go away. But one of the main drivers of the AI boom is going to be severely compromised because there is a competitor who isn't in it for immediate commercialization. Instead you will have a more decentralized open source AI field.
Or in short:
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kaiist · 1 month ago
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𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄 ⋯ 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐈𝐍𝐉𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐃
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𝐗𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑
The forest was silent. Too silent. Xavier felt it in his bones before the emergency signal even reached his com-device. His muscles tensed, lowering his sword as the vibration against his wrist sent ice through his veins.
He abandoned the trail immediately, feet pounding against the earth as he raced back to the location informed about the injured hunters. His knuckles whitened as they dug into the skin of his palm until it almost bled. Despite never doubting your abilities for a moment, he was consumed by a desperate wish that he had been there to prevent this from happening.
When he finally reached the hospital, the fluorescent lights overhead cast harsh shadows across his face. The sight of you, broken and bloodied on the stretcher, caused something to fracture inside him. He stood paralyzed in the doorway, watching as medics rushed around your unconscious form, their voices fading to white noise.
“Hunter down, multiple lacerations, possible internal bleeding...”
One step. Two. He was beside your bed now, his hand hovering inches from yours, afraid that his touch might somehow hurt you more. A nurse tried to usher him away, but the look in his eyes made her step back. He was trying so hard to pull himself together, but the facade was crumbling.
“I’m staying,” he said simply, the words leaving no room for argument.
Days passed in a sterile blur. Xavier didn’t move from the uncomfortable chair beside your bed. He didn’t eat. There was a day when he slept like he was dead, with your hand clutched tight in his to feel your pulse. He’d just watched your chest rise and fall, as if his vigilance alone could keep you tethered to this world.
When your squad members came to visit, they brought news—the mission area had been mysteriously cleared out. No Wanderers remained. Not one. The cleanup had been thorough, leaving no traces behind. Nobody had seen who did it.
One of your colleagues shifted uncomfortably under Xavier’s gaze. “Strangest thing. Like they vanished overnight. Even the nest we couldn’t breach was empty.”
Xavier simply nodded, his thumb tracing small circles on your palm.
When the doctor suggested he get some rest, Xavier simply shook his head, eyes never leaving your face. He wouldn’t leave your side until he was completely assured that you were going to be okay.
“I’ll be here when you wake up,” he promised, the words meant only for you despite your unconscious state. “I’ll always be here.”
Only when you stirred slightly, days later, did something change in his expression—a softening around the eyes, the faintest tremor in his steady hands. He leaned forward, close enough that only you could hear the whisper.
“I will always find you. Always.”
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𝐙𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄
The operating room doors burst open as another trauma case rolled in. Zayne was mid-consultation when his pager buzzed with the emergency code. Standard procedure—until he glimpsed your face beneath the oxygen mask. Despite his professional exterior, panic was building inside him like a storm, threatening to break through his carefully maintained composure.
His clipboard clattered to the floor. “Get Doctor Dean,” he ordered sharply, already moving toward the gurney. “I know this patient.”
“Sir, protocol states—” the resident began.
“Get. Doctor. Dean.” His voice cut like a scalpel. The young doctor scrambled away as Zayne reached for your hand, his practiced fingers automatically finding your pulse.
“BP dropping, multiple trauma, suspected hemorrhage,” the paramedic rattled off. “Combat injury, ambush scenario.”
Zayne’s mind raced. As a former combat medic who’d seen countless injuries, he’d treated soldiers under artillery fire, but this—this was different. This was personal. Seeing your blood soaking through the bandages twisted his insides in ways combat never had.
“Doctor Zayne, you need to step back,” Doctor Dean said firmly, already moving to intercept him. “You know protocol.”
“I’m her physician,” Zayne countered, his voice tight as he tried to get closer.
Doctor Dean blocked his path. “Your emotions will compromise your judgment. We’ve got her.”
Zayne’s fists clenched at his sides as they wheeled you toward the operating room. Every instinct screamed at him to follow, to take control, to fix you himself. Instead, he was forced to watch through the observation window, a spectator to your fight for survival, his mind a whirlwind of unbridled fear.
Hours passed like years. His colleagues offered coffee, suggested he rest. He didn’t respond. His eyes never left the monitors displaying your vital signs, gripping the observation window’s edge so tightly his knuckles turned white.
In your recovery room, Zayne sat perfectly still, your hand clasped between both of his. His thumbs pressed against your wrist, monitoring your pulse as if the machines couldn’t be trusted. Others who passed by the room hardly recognized the distinguished cardiac surgeon in the haggard man who refused to leave your side.
Yvonne entered to adjust your IV, giving Zayne a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Doctor Zayne, you should get some rest.”
“I’ll sleep when she wakes up,” he replied without looking up, his professional demeanor completely abandoned.
When your eyelids finally fluttered open, his composure cracked just enough for you to see the storm that had been raging beneath.
“Don’t you dare,” he whispered hoarsely, “ever scare me like that again.”
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𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐋
The gallery was packed for Rafayel’s showcase, champagne flowing as critics and collectors mingled among his latest masterpieces. Thomas beamed at the turnout, already calculating the evening’s profits.
Then Rafayel’s phone rang.
The transformation was instant. The smile vanished from his face, replaced by an expression Thomas had never seen before—horror and fear combined. All thoughts of the gallery, the collectors, his artwork—everything disappeared in an instant.
The champagne flute shattered on the marble floor. Rafayel was already moving, shoving through the crowd without a word of explanation.
“Rafayel! Where are you—the collector from Rome is waiting to meet you!” Thomas called after him, but Rafayel was already gone, racing down the steps two at a time, car keys in hand.
The sports car’s tires screeched against the asphalt as he tore through traffic lights, honking frantically at slower vehicles, his knuckles white against the steering wheel. When another driver cut him off, Rafayel slammed his fist against the horn, a string of curses falling from his lips. His hands shook violently on the steering wheel, heart racing faster than the car.
“Move!” he screamed, swerving dangerously into the next lane. “Get out of my way!”
The hospital parking lot wasn’t meant for the kind of turn he attempted. The car scraped against a concrete pillar, but Rafayel didn’t spare it a second glance as he abandoned it half in a disabled spot, keys still in the ignition..
At the reception desk, his hands trembled so violently he could barely hold your ID card. “Where is she?” he demanded, voice cracking. “Please, I need to see her now.”
When they finally led him to your room, Rafayel froze in the doorway. Tubes and wires connected you to machines that beeped rhythmically, monitoring the life still flickering within you. Your skin was ashen, eyes closed, chest barely rising with each shallow breath.
“No, no, no,” he whispered, approaching slowly as if afraid you might shatter. He sank into the chair beside your bed, taking your limp hand between his. “Cutie, please. Can you hear me?”
A nurse offered him a blanket as night fell, but Rafayel shook his head. Hours passed. His stomach growled, but he ignored it. There would be no painting, no eating, no sleeping—nothing until you were stable.
When his phone rang—Thomas, undoubtedly—he silenced it without looking.
As dawn broke, a doctor found him still awake, your hand pressed to his lips, whispering promises only you could hear.
“She’s stabilizing,” the doctor said gently. “But recovery will take time.”
Rafayel simply nodded, eyes never leaving your face. “Time is all I have to give.”
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𝐒𝐘𝐋𝐔𝐒
The notification from Mephisto came during a crucial meeting with the N109 Zone’s security council. The mechanical crow landed urgently on his shoulder, displaying the screen that showed what had just happened. Usually, Mephisto watched over your missions, keeping Sylus informed, but this time—something had gone terribly wrong.
He stopped speaking so abruptly that everyone at the table turned to stare. The blood drained from his face as the footage streamed directly to his personal display—you, surrounded and overwhelmed, fighting until you couldn’t anymore.
“Boss?” one of them ventured. “Should we continue with—”
“Meeting adjourned,” Sylus declared, already on his feet. “Indefinitely.”
No further explanation. No delegation of responsibilities. The council exchanged bewildered glances as the leader strode from the room, his coat billowing behind him, a storm of fury and fear brewing beneath his composed exterior.
Minutes later, the distinctive roar of his motorcycle echoed through the compound as he tore toward Linkon City, weaving through traffic at speeds that turned the world around him into a blur. The only clear thought in his mind was reaching you.
When he arrived at the emergency ward you were in, no one dared question why this person with an imposing, dangerous aura was storming through their halls.
The doctor who approached him looked nervous when Sylus started to ask questions, not bothering to mention who he was. “Mister, she’s lost a significant amount of blood. We’ve managed to stabilize her, but—”
“Show me,” Sylus commanded.
Your room was silent save for the mechanical beeping of monitors. Sylus stopped in the doorway, taking in the sight of you lying motionless, bandages covering much of your visible skin, an oxygen mask obscuring half your face.
Without a word, he pulled a chair to your bedside and sat, taking your hand in his.
“I need the names,” he said to the empty room, calling either Luke or Kieran. “Everyone involved. Every detail. Now.” Whether it was Wanderers or some shady people who did this, he would eliminate them all, leaving no traces behind.
As night fell, he remained at your side, one hand holding yours while the other tapped commands into his device, as he kept tapping his feet from either impatience or anxiousness. He wouldn’t let himself breathe peacefully until he knew you were okay.
Only when you stirred slightly, a small sound of pain escaping your lips, did his facade crack. He leaned forward, brushing hair from your forehead with such gentleness.
“Rest,” he murmured. “I’ll handle everything else.”
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𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐁
Caleb’s comm device blared the emergency alert in his office—a sound it was programmed to make for only one person’s vitals. The color drained from his face as he stared at the readout, the severity of your condition displayed in harsh red numbers.
Nothing else mattered. Not Skyhaven, not his duties, not anything except reaching you.
The hangar technicians scrambled as he approached, his expression sending them into immediate action. “Prepare my craft for immediate departure,” he ordered, already climbing into the cockpit.
“Sir, the preflight checks—”
“Now!” The word echoed through the hangar, silencing all objections.
The journey that should have taken hours was compressed into a white-knuckled descent that violated at least six safety protocols. As the craft touched down on the hospital’s landing pad, security personnel rushed forward, only to stop short when they recognized the Colonel’s insignia.
“Where is she?” he demanded of the first orderly he encountered inside, frantically searching for you.
His uniform opened doors that would have remained closed to others. When he reached the ICU, the attending physician intercepted him, datapad in hand.
“Colonel, she’s sustained significant trauma. We’ve induced a coma to manage the—”
“Take me to her.” It wasn’t a request.
The sight of you connected to life support sent a visible tremor through his body. This was worse than any nightmare he’d ever imagined.
“I should have been there,” he whispered, sinking into the chair beside you. His fingers brushed against yours, then curled around your hand. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
His mind was already calculating retribution. Whoever had done this—be it Wanderers or other enemies—they will pay for this.
Days passed. Nurses came and went. Messages from Skyhaven accumulated, unanswered. Caleb remained unmoved, his thumb tracing circles on your palm as if trying to coax you back to consciousness through touch alone. 
“Colonel, you should rest,” she suggested gently.
“I’m fine,” he responded, voice hoarse from disuse.
When you finally began to stir days later, Caleb was there, his face the first thing you saw as consciousness returned. Relief washed over his features as he pressed his forehead to your hand, shoulders shaking with silent relief.
“Welcome back, sleepyhead,” he murmured, pressing his lips to your knuckles. “I thought I’d lost you.”
Behind his smile, the knowledge that those responsible had already answered for their actions. But that was a conversation for another day. For now, you were awake, and nothing else mattered.
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Another draft out. Also based on this request.
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resdraft · 1 year ago
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High-Quality Drafting Services Securing Permit Approval
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Our drafting team adheres to the International Residential Code/International Building Code as well as all local City/County codes in Arizona, Texas and Florida. We deliver high-quality drafting services with the aim of securing permit approval on the first submission.
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elwenyere · 1 month ago
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Okay, much more to say later, but amid a final arc where I found a lot to love, it is a real bummerooski to have Andor end on the laziest final shot I could have imagined, as a culmination of what I can now say feels to me like the show's most fumbled character arc. I tried to withhold final judgment on this season's handling of Bix until I'd seen the full narrative, but having reached the end, I can say that very few choices the writers made for her felt either internally coherent or ideologically compelling. The whiplash between arcs two and three was wild, and while I held out hope we would see in arc four that Bix had actually left Yavin to get involved in the fight on a different front/in her own way, the move to return her to Mina-Rau makes her first arc seem even less continuous with the rest than I'd thought. And beyond being a cliché, the final shot of her holding a baby we take to be Cassian's is such a depressing turn to reproductive futurism that it makes other parts of the season retroactively worse for me.
To whit, Cinta's death. I was split on it when it happened, and again, I tried to leave myself open to my feelings shifting as it became contextualized in the whole; but the heteronormativity of ending the whole series on The Child as the final figure for hope makes killing off one of the show's queer lovers feel like a bigger failure of political imagination.
There is a small balm for this, for me, in the final scene between Vel and Kleya, where Vel, a cousin, offers Kleya, an adoptive daughter-of-convenience, the non-lineal solidarity of "having friends everywhere." I would have loved to end on a scene like that, which turns the code phrase of this season into a way of understanding how mutual care and resistance work fuel each other. But in a show that has otherwise been much more daring and thoughtful about the tableaux it creates to embody the hope of building a home, the final shot we got seemed to me to set a horribly conventional horizon for what could have been more radical politics.
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astroxrion · 26 days ago
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Get Rich with your 9H:
(Travel,Teach,Expanding in International business)
Aries in the 9th
Get up and go. Nobody cares about your plan they care that you move. Teach what you’ve lived. Sell bold energy and fearless choices. Your passport is your permission slip. Be loud be first be visible and monetize the chaos you naturally create.
Taurus in the 9th
Make the world look expensive and sell it like a lifestyle. Your eye for comfort and beauty is the brand. Show up soft but unbothered and build offers around what feels good. Partner with luxury and stay grounded. Lazy gets you broke. So don’t be lazy.
Gemini in the 9th
Open your mouth and monetize your brain. You talk for free now it’s time to charge. Build content systems and keep dropping game daily. Sell knowledge with style and speed. If you’re silent you stay broke. If you’re visible you win. It’s that simple.
Cancer in the 9th
Your pain is the offer and your healing is the hook. Travel with heart and show people how to feel again. Run retreats that save people. Share softness that costs. You lead through emotion and you profit through care. Start building your sacred business.
Leo in the 9th
Make your life the show. Cameras on confidence up. Sell visibility sell boldness sell being the center. Influence with flair and make the attention pay you. You want fame then act famous. No one will look if you keep hiding. Shine on purpose or stay forgotten.
Virgo in the 9th
Monetize precision. Make a plan. Package the plan. Sell the plan. Your structure is the product and your clarity is rare. Teach systems to messy people. Get paid to organize the chaos. No more hiding behind drafts. Perfect it then ship it fast.
Libra in the 9th
Stop being pretty for free. Sell the aesthetics sell the balance sell the lifestyle. Partner with brands that reflect your taste. Teach people how to see and be seen. Influence is your lane but only if you claim it. Charm is currency. Spend it wisely.
Scorpio in the 9th
Make your pain pay. Go dark go deep tell the story no one else will. People buy what cracks them open. Offer transformation not just advice. Build mystery. Build intensity. Sell the shift. You’re not here to play nice you’re here to change lives.
Sagittarius in the 9th
No excuses. Go global. Speak teach film guide. Your wisdom is your product. Your passport is your platform. Turn freedom into business. Market your journey like religion. People will pay to be near your truth if you finally stand on it.
Capricorn in the 9th
Make moves that print long money. Build business across borders. Consult strategize lead. Teach from experience not theory. Profit from the structure you live by. Travel with purpose or don’t travel at all. Results only. Legacy now.
Aquarius in the 9th
Invent and disrupt. Make digital freedom the product. Teach the weird way that works. Build community while you move. People are stuck in the past. Sell the future. Stop waiting for approval. You’re the blueprint. Drop it and charge for it.
Pisces in the 9th
Your spirit makes money. Sell the vision sell the healing sell the dream. Host retreats that feel like rebirth. Channel your gifts into something real. Build offers that move through energy. Stop being scared to charge for your magic. You are the offering.
Get an Astrology Reading With me : https://www.tumblr.com/astroxrion/784631769533136896/o-my-readings-the-rion-code-o?source=share
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leriexoxo · 2 months ago
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Pretty Boy, Asshole
Husband! Leeknow x Reader (arranged marriage au)
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Tags: Arranged marriage AU, Strangers to Lovers, Slowburn, Enemies(ish) to Lovers, Angst, Smut, Fluff, Domestic Feels. Jealousy, feelings realization, Minho is an asshole
Word count: 7.8k
Summary: You never even met Lee Minho before your wedding was arranged. Your parents’ companies had been tied together for decades, so it made perfect business sense—merge the heirs, secure the legacy. At first, you both thought it was a joke. But then came the legal documents, the moving trucks, and the cold stares from a man who’d just lost the love of his life. He hated you for it. And you? You wanted to burn the whole marriage down.
This work contains mature themes, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!
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You’d been on the plane for thirteen hours, and somehow, your anger had survived every single mile.
It burned low and hot in your gut, simmering as the taxi pulled up to the towering glass building in the middle of the city. The kind of place with concierge desks and private elevators and probably a robot that sorted your mail. All of it screamed money—his money, their money—not yours. You dragged your luggage through the marble lobby with a scowl stitched into your face and your earbuds shoved in deep, just to drown out the sound of your own thoughts.
The elevator opened on the thirty-fourth floor with a quiet chime. A long hallway stretched out in front of you, lined with pale wood and tasteful lighting. Minimalist. Cold. And then—
The door.
Suite 3401.
Your new “home.”
You punched in the code the assistant had emailed you—because of course there was an assistant—and stepped inside.
And there he was.
Lee Minho.
He didn’t even look at you when you entered. Just sat there on the expensive-looking couch, one ankle crossed over his knee, phone in hand, posture relaxed like he wasn’t currently ruining your life by existing.
You stood in the doorway, suitcase wheels stuck on the lip of the entrance, staring at him like a ghost. The place was massive, all glass walls and open spaces, but the air felt tight, suffocating even, with him in the middle of it.
He didn’t say anything.
You cleared your throat. “Hi.”
A beat passed. Then he looked up. Just once. Just barely.
“You’re late.”
That was it.
Not welcome or did you have a good flight or hey, sorry we’re both being held emotionally hostage by our families right now. No. Just you’re late, like you were a bad intern and he was your condescending CEO.
You stared at him. “Sorry. The whole being-forcibly-uprooted-from-my-life thing kind of threw off my schedule.”
Minho blinked, bored. “Right.”
You wheeled your suitcase past him with more force than necessary, the rubber wheels thunking hard over the lip of the living room rug. The sound echoed too loudly in the silence. You didn’t care. Let him be annoyed. You were annoyed too.
No—furious.
You’d had plans. You had a studio apartment back home, a job you didn’t hate, friends who didn’t make you want to set the room on fire just by breathing near them. You had a life. And now?
Now you had Lee Minho.
Stranger. Fiancé. Asshole.
“I’ll take the room farthest from yours,” you muttered, already dragging your luggage down the hallway.
“No one’s stopping you,” he said.
Of course he wasn’t.
The guest room—no, your room now, apparently—was spotless and cold, like no one had ever breathed inside it. You dropped your bags, sat on the edge of the pristine white bed, and buried your face in your hands.
You didn’t cry.
You didn’t even sigh.
You just sat there, skin prickling, spine tense, your body still humming with the quiet, ugly disbelief that this was real. That your life was no longer your own.
All because of a deal your parents made before you were old enough to spell the word contract.
A knock on the door frame.
You didn’t look up.
“There’s food in the fridge,” Minho said. “Don’t touch the top shelf.”
Then he walked away.
And you?
You smiled.
It wasn’t a nice smile.
If he wanted to play like that?
Fine.
Let the games begin.
It started with the oat milk.
Well, no. Technically, it started with the marriage contract your parents signed before you were even born, but the oat milk was the spark that lit the fuse.
You opened the fridge that morning, bleary-eyed and cranky, and stared at the single, sad carton sitting on the shelf. It was empty. Not a drop left. You shook it just to be sure, even though you already knew.
That bitch drank your oat milk.
You stood there for a second, hand still gripping the fridge door, mentally running through your options.
1. Scream.
2. Cry.
3. Commit a minor act of violence.
4. Be civil.
You chose none of the above.
Instead, you slammed the door shut and poured yourself a glass of water like a goddamn adult. Then you sat at the island counter and waited.
He appeared ten minutes later, fresh out of the shower, hair still damp, T-shirt hanging loose over his frame like he hadn’t even tried.
He glanced at you, then at the empty carton now placed—strategically—in the middle of the counter between you.
Silence.
“You drank it,” you said finally.
Minho looked at the carton like it was a science project he wasn’t particularly impressed by. “You didn’t label it.”
“It was oat milk.”
“So?”
You blinked slowly. “You think I bought oat milk for you?”
He shrugged. “I thought you bought it for the apartment.”
“The apartment didn’t drink it.”
He smirked, just a little. “Well, technically, I live here, so—”
You stood up, chair scraping back. “Okay. Ground rules.”
Minho raised an eyebrow, but didn’t argue. You grabbed a notepad from the drawer—because of course this penthouse had notepads—and started writing with aggressive, stabbing motions.
1. Do not eat my food.
2. Do not drink my things.
3. Do not speak to me unless necessary.
4. Do not assume anything is “for the apartment.” It’s not.
5. This is not a home. This is a hostage situation.
You slid the paper across the counter.
Minho didn’t even blink. “You done?”
“Rule six: Don’t be a smug little prick.”
He laughed. Laughed.
Low, amused, like you were a puppy nipping at his ankles. “That’s not very professional, fiancée.”
“Neither is stealing milk.”
He folded the paper neatly, tucked it under his phone, and leaned against the counter. “Alright. My turn.”
Your jaw tensed. “This isn’t a negotiation.”
“Too bad. I’m negotiating.”
He grabbed the pen and flipped the paper over.
1. Don’t slam doors.
2. Don’t use the speaker in the bathroom—I don’t want to hear your playlist at 7 a.m.
3. Don’t cry where I can hear it.
4. Don’t touch my closet.
5. Don’t mess with my routine.
You stared at the list, then at him. “You think I’m crying?”
He shrugged. “Heard something last night.”
“I was unpacking.”
“Right.” Another smirk.
You hated him. You hated him.
But not in the way you could do anything about. Not in a way that fixed anything. He wasn’t cruel, not exactly. Just… cold. Detached. As if he’d already made up his mind that you weren’t worth the effort of pretending.
And honestly?
You weren’t sure he was wrong.
“You’re a dick,” you muttered, turning away.
“You’re in my house,” he shot back.
Your house. The words rang in your ears long after you’d slammed your bedroom door behind you.
Not our house.
Not even the house.
Just his.
And that, somehow, pissed you off more than anything else.
You’d decided to make pasta.
It was a petty decision. Loud, messy, sauce-splattered pasta. Not some dainty meal for two. This was war food. Battle carbs. And you made sure to cook it at the worst possible time—right after Minho’s usual post-gym shower, when he liked the kitchen empty and the air quiet.
Too bad.
He walked in right as you started blending the tomato sauce. The noise ripped through the apartment like a chainsaw in a library.
Minho stopped in the doorway.
You didn’t turn around.
“Seriously?”
“Can’t hear you,” you said, raising your voice over the blender. “Domestic goddess things.”
He waited. You could feel it—the weight of his stare, the way his presence filled the room even when he didn’t move.
When you finally switched the blender off, the silence felt personal.
“You used my garlic,” he said flatly.
You turned. “Is garlic suddenly yours now?”
“It’s from my stash.”
“Oh my God, what is this, culinary class wars?”
He moved to the fridge, ignoring you completely, and opened it like he didn’t want to breathe the same air as you. But you saw it—the tightness in his jaw, the twitch of annoyance in his eyebrow. He hated this. Hated you, probably. And that should’ve stung, but—
Honestly?
You hated him too.
He grabbed a bottle of water, twisted the cap, and finally looked at you. Really looked this time. The kind of stare that peeled skin. “How long do you plan on sulking?”
You blinked. “Excuse me?”
“This whole act. Slamming things. Writing rules like we’re in middle school. Throwing tantrums over oat milk. How long do I have to deal with this?”
The rage came hot and immediate, crawling up your throat like fire.
“I didn’t ask to be here,” you snapped.
He leaned against the counter, cool and clean and somehow infuriatingly calm. “Neither did I.”
“No, but you’re acting like I ruined your life. I didn’t do this, Minho. Our parents did. Go be mad at them, not me.”
For a second, something flickered in his eyes. Something raw and real and unguarded. But it was gone before you could read it, buried under that same sharp indifference he wore like armor.
“I had someone,” he said quietly.
You froze.
“I was going to propose,” he added. “Two weeks before I got the call. I had the ring. We had an apartment lined up. She thought I was joking when I told her. She laughed. And then she cried.”
You said nothing. The room felt suddenly smaller.
“I didn’t have a choice,” he said, voice low now. “Just like you didn’t. But don’t act like we’re the same.”
And with that, he left.
Not stormed out. Just left, like he always did—quietly, cleanly, like emotion was something he refused to be caught feeling.
You stood there, spoon still in your hand, staring at the door he’d walked through.
And for the first time since you’d arrived, the anger didn’t feel quite so simple anymore.
It was past midnight when you came out of your room.
Not because you were hungry. Not even because you needed anything. You just couldn’t sleep. The walls felt too white, too quiet, and the sheets felt like someone else’s skin.
So you padded out barefoot, hair a mess, wrapped in the hoodie you’d “accidentally” stolen from Minho’s side of the laundry basket. (Sue you. It was warm. And it smelled better than your room.)
You didn’t expect to see him.
But there he was—on the couch, passed out, phone still in his hand and a drama paused mid-episode on the screen. A glass of water sat half-full on the coffee table. One sock was halfway off his foot. His hair was a mess. A real, actual mess—not the kind he curated to look effortless. And his mouth was slightly open.
He looked… normal.
No expensive cologne. No pressed shirts or glinting watches. Just a guy in sweatpants, legs tangled up in the blanket he probably tried to pull over himself and failed halfway through.
You stood there, blinking.
This man—this insufferable, rude, arrogant, milk-stealing demon—looked like a person when he slept.
That was the most annoying thing of all.
You grabbed the remote off the floor, turned the volume down on whatever he’d been watching (some crime doc with bad voiceovers), and went to walk away.
But something stopped you.
Maybe it was the frown between his brows, the kind you only got when something hurt. Not pain-pain. More like… emotional bruises. Things he didn’t talk about. Things that lived under his tongue.
Maybe it was the way his hand was curled slightly around his phone, thumb pressing against a message thread he hadn’t opened yet.
You inched closer.
The screen lit up just enough for you to see the name.
“Hannie.”
You froze.
She’d messaged him.
The girl. Her.
The one he’d told you about.
Your chest felt strange. Not jealousy. Not pity. Just… tightness. The kind that came from remembering this was real. That all this wasn’t a drama. That someone really lost someone else. That somewhere out there was a girl waiting on a message that’d never come.
You sighed, then gently reached down to fix the blanket over his chest. Not out of kindness. Not really.
Just because it was cold.
And because even if he hated you—and you definitely hated him—he was still a human being.
You turned back toward your room, hoodie sleeves too long over your hands, and whispered into the dark:
“You look like a person when you sleep.”
He didn’t hear you. Probably.
Minho knew something was off the second he opened his eyes.
Not just because his neck was stiff or the TV was still on. It was the blanket.
It had been over him. Neatly. Tucked up under his chin like someone had stopped, looked at him, and—
He sat up slowly, glancing around the dim living room. Nothing. No sign of you. Just the faint smell of tomato sauce lingering from the pasta war the night before and a hoodie hanging crooked off the back of the couch.
His hoodie.
Fucking hell.
You’d touched his blanket. His clothes. You’d touched him, probably. And he’d slept through it like an idiot.
He hated that he didn’t hate it.
By the time you finally emerged from your room the next morning, half-wet hair twisted into a bun and sleep still crusting your eyes, Minho was already standing in the kitchen—freshly showered, coffee in hand, and unreadable behind his black tee and tired stare.
You didn’t look at him.
He didn’t look at you.
But the air was different.
He cleared his throat. “You’re up late.”
“I’m always up late.”
Right. Of course. You two weren’t going to talk about it. The blanket. The hoodie. The fact that, for once, neither of you had gone to bed vibrating with rage.
So you sipped your own coffee and stayed on opposite ends of the kitchen. Separate islands. Cold continents. Two strangers with matching rings they didn’t ask for.
Then your phone buzzed.
You didn’t answer it at first, but the second buzz turned into a full-blown call. You picked it up, eyes narrowing as you glanced at the screen.
“Oh, fuck me.”
Minho arched a brow. “Don’t offer things you don’t mean.”
You glared. “It’s my mother.”
He took a slow sip of coffee. “You’ve said enough.”
You answered on speaker, too tired to pretend today. “Hi, mom.”
“Sweetheart!” her voice was shrill and sugary. “I hope you’re both dressed—we’re expecting you at lunch!”
You blinked. “Lunch?”
“Yes, darling, we’ve arranged a little brunch at the family villa. Just a few friends. And, well… a few investors. It’ll be casual, of course. Just something to show how beautifully our children are adjusting to married life.”
Minho choked on his coffee.
“Married life?” you mouthed at him.
“Lovely,” you lied into the phone. “Can’t wait.”
You barely had time to fight over what to wear. Minho had shown up to the front door in a gray button-down and slacks like he was filming an ad for luxury timepieces. Meanwhile, you stood barefoot, mascara wand in hand, in a half-wrapped dress with a look of absolute murder on your face.
“Don’t even start,” you growled.
He smirked. “I wasn’t going to.”
“Good.”
“…You look nice.”
You blinked. Looked down. Then up. “You trying to seduce me into not stabbing you in front of your mother?”
“I wouldn’t need to try.”
You threw your brush at his face.
The car ride was quiet.
But not cold.
Tense, yes—but not the same kind of tension as before. Something new. Something that buzzed low in your spine. Like your bodies were talking even when your mouths weren’t.
He kept glancing at your legs. You pretended not to notice.
You picked imaginary lint off your skirt. He pretended not to watch.
The world outside flew by in soft gray blurs, and still—you felt that shift.
The one from last night.
The one you weren’t supposed to think about.
The villa was a lie.
It looked like a Tuscan postcard and smelled like money. Overgrown vines curled around white stone arches, and the sunlight streamed through polished windows like someone had bottled golden hour.
You hated it immediately.
Minho hated it more.
You could tell because he didn’t hold your hand until someone was looking.
But when he did?
Oh.
That bastard sold it.
He slid his fingers through yours like it was natural. Tugged you closer by the waist when cameras popped out. Whispered things into your ear that made you laugh, even when he was threatening to strangle you under his breath.
“Smile,” he said through clenched teeth. “You’re making me look like a villain.”
“Gee, wonder why,” you said through your fake grin.
But God, he looked so good when he did it. Like a real husband. Like someone who knew your perfume by name.
And worst of all?
You looked good next to him.
There was a photo taken at one point—someone’s assistant caught it. You didn’t even realize. But it got passed around between the wives and board members, passed around with murmurs like:
“Look at how in love they are.”
“She fits him perfectly.”
“They’ll have beautiful children.”
And you saw it, later. On someone’s phone. A candid of you mid-laugh and Minho mid-glance—eyes soft, mouth twitching, hand grazing your waist like it belonged there.
You looked like the picture of a happy marriage.
And for a second, you hated how good it felt to pretend.
The real first shift started with dinner.
Just some leftover rice, a pan-fried egg, and the remains of whatever frozen veggies you’d tossed into a pot earlier. You didn’t cook it for him. You just made too much.
But then Minho walked into the kitchen, towel still on his shoulders, hair wet from a shower, and blinked at the plate you’d pushed aside like you weren’t saving it.
“I’m not eating your food,” he said.
You shrugged. “Didn’t ask you to.”
“…But that egg looks good.”
You didn’t answer. Just sat down at the counter and kept chewing.
He stood there awkwardly. Then grabbed a fork. And sat down next to you like it wasn’t a crime.
The silence wasn’t heavy. Not even thick. Just… quiet.
Like both of you had run out of excuses to hate each other loudly.
Then came the next slip.
The couch.
It was late. You were scrolling through nonsense on your phone, half-dozing to a playlist you wouldn’t admit was full of sad lo-fi love songs. You didn’t even notice him sit next to you until his shoulder brushed yours.
You didn’t flinch.
That was the worst part.
You just let it happen.
You told yourself it was fine. The couch was huge. You were tired. It wasn’t a thing. He wasn’t even talking. Neither of you were.
And then, you woke up.
Warm. Comfortable. Safe.
Your cheek was against his chest. His arm was around your shoulder. Your legs were tucked under a blanket you definitely didn’t pull over yourself.
You froze.
He was still asleep. Breathing steady. Mouth parted again, hair fluffing against the pillow like a halo he didn’t deserve.
You moved slowly. Too slowly.
And he blinked awake the second you shifted.
His voice was low. Sleep-rough. “Don’t freak out.”
You already were.
“I didn’t mean to stay,” you whispered.
“I didn’t mean to let you.”
You stared at each other in the dim glow of the TV.
Nothing moved. Nothing breathed.
Then his phone buzzed.
And the bubble burst.
He looked down at the screen. His jaw locked. The softness vanished.
You saw it. You felt it.
Because you recognized the name.
Hannie.
Three words.
“Can we talk?”
Minho didn’t say a thing. Just stood up, grabbed his phone, and walked away.
He didn’t even look back.
You didn’t sleep.
You didn’t eat the next day either.
Minho wasn’t in the apartment when you woke up. No note. No text. Not even a plate of passive-aggressive toast crumbs to let you know he’d been there.
The silence was suffocating.
The warmth from last night? Gone.
Your hand kept drifting to your phone, but you had nothing to say. What could you even say? Sorry for sleeping on your chest and pretending you weren’t still in love with someone else?
You sat in the kitchen for hours.
He came home after sundown. Quiet. Unbothered.
You hated him for that.
But what broke you—what really split you in half—was the fact that he looked at you, said nothing, and headed straight to the shower.
Like you weren’t even worth a fight.
The front door slammed.
You didn’t even realize you were waiting for it until the sound made you flinch. Made your fingers clench around the glass in your hand.
Minho had come home.
Past midnight. Again.
Third night in a row.
And this time, he didn’t pretend to be quiet. He stomped around the kitchen without a care. Tossed his keys too hard on the counter. Opened the fridge, stared, closed it again. Then turned to find you standing there at the edge of the hallway, arms crossed, eyes tired.
You said nothing.
He said less.
And that was it. That was the moment something snapped.
“Don’t you wanna go back out?” you said, voice sharp. “Or was three nights with your ex enough?”
Minho froze.
Slowly, he turned to face you, and his expression made your skin crawl.
Cold.
Hard.
But this time, mean.
“You spying on me now?” he asked.
“You left your phone on the counter the first night. You think I wouldn’t see her name?”
He scoffed, like you were the one being ridiculous. “It’s none of your business.”
You stepped forward. “Really? That’s funny. Because you made it my business the second you decided to disappear without a word while I stayed here, alone, pretending everything was normal!”
“I never asked you to pretend.”
“No, you just let me.”
Minho’s jaw ticked. His hands were fists. “So what? You want a gold star? For playing house for three days like you actually give a shit?”
Your chest seized. “I did give a shit.”
Silence.
You said it. You couldn’t take it back.
He stared at you. Unblinking. Breathing heavy.
And then he laughed. Soft. Cold. Mocking.
“Oh, that’s rich,” he muttered. “You act like the victim, but let’s not forget—this is your parents’ idea. You’re just as much a part of this mess as I am.”
That hit.
Hard.
But you weren’t done.
You stepped closer. Eyes blazing. “Don’t you dare act like I had a choice in any of this. I left my life behind. My friends. My career. My freedom. For what? So I could be treated like a stranger in my own house?”
“It’s not your house.”
Those four words.
Like knives.
You didn’t even realize you’d thrown the glass cup until it shattered against the floor two feet from his head.
And still—he didn’t flinch.
He smirked.
“That’s more like it,” he said. “There’s the brat my parents warned me about.”
You stepped forward. Your voice dropped.
“You’re such a coward, Minho.”
The smile fell.
“You’d rather run to the past than even try to make this work. You don’t want a wife? Fine. You don’t want to play pretend anymore? Neither do I. But don’t fucking punish me because your little fairytale ended and now you’re stuck with someone who didn’t beg to be here.”
His mouth parted. But he said nothing.
Coward.
He turned.
Started walking away.
And something in you broke.
“You’re so goddamn cold,” you said. “Do you even feel anything anymore, or are you just playing numb until she takes you back?”
He stopped.
Didn’t turn.
Didn’t speak.
Just walked into his room.
And slammed the door.
You left that night.
No text. No calls. No dramatic slamming of doors.
Just your phone on the kitchen table, screen facedown like a corpse.
You packed a bag with nothing but essentials—some cash, a few clothes, your favorite perfume. The soft hoodie you slept in when you actually felt safe here. Just a few things to remind you that you were still you.
Then you got in the car and drove off.
Minho never saw you leave.
The hotel was three towns away. Coastal. Quiet.
The concierge didn’t ask questions. Just smiled when you booked the penthouse suite for a week and asked if you wanted a bottle of wine sent up. You said yes. Then requested a second.
The view was stunning.
The ocean glittered like it didn’t know how to be cruel. The room was wrapped in clean linens and silence. There was a rooftop pool. A bar with men who looked like they’d never heard the name Hannie in their lives.
It was freedom.
For three days, you existed like you were never married. Never shoved into a life you didn’t want. You slept with the balcony door open. Drank rosé for breakfast. Let strangers flirt with you in the elevator. Let a bartender ask for your number and smiled when you didn’t give it.
You lived.
And for the first time since this all started—you didn’t cry.
Minho, on the other hand?
He unraveled.
The first morning, he found your phone and rolled his eyes. Thought you’d storm back in eventually, full of righteous rage and a tantrum he could ignore.
You didn’t.
By evening, he’d checked every room in the apartment.
By midnight, he’d texted you twelve times even if your phone was turned off on the kitchen counter, he hoped you had your ipad or something with you.
By the next day, he was on the phone with your mother.
“I don’t know where she is.”
“Well, maybe if you treated her like a human being, she wouldn’t feel the need to vanish!”
Then came his father.
“If you screw this up, Lee Minho, so help me God—”
“Dad, she ran off—what do you want me to do?!”
“Get her back. Or don’t expect a damn cent when I die.”
That one stuck. So he stopped sleeping.
Started calling your friends. Your old number. Even checked your socials, which you hadn’t posted on in weeks. He scoured local hotels under fake names. Drove around aimlessly, gripping the wheel like it might help him understand where the hell this all went wrong.
He missed the scent of your hair in the hallway.
The hum of your voice talking to yourself in the kitchen.
The sound of the apartment feeling like someone lived in it.
And he hated himself for noticing.
But what gutted him? Was the dinner plate in the fridge.
The one you left by accident.
The rice and egg and veggies he didn’t eat.
Still there.
Still waiting.
Like you.
The door clicked open at 2:17 p.m. on a Wednesday.
No announcement. No warning.
Just the soft creak of hinges as you strolled in like you owned the place—like you didn’t leave it barren and echoing for four days straight.
Minho was in the kitchen.
He froze mid-step, glass in hand, mind blank.
Then he saw you.
Hair soft and glowing. Sunglasses perched on your head. One of those stupid seafoam shopping bags swinging from your fingers. A small, content smile on your lips like you didn’t just drop a goddamn nuke on his life and disappear off the grid.
You didn’t even glance at him.
Just breezed past like summer wind. Like perfume. Like a woman who hadn’t spent a single second wondering how he felt.
Like you hadn’t missed him at all.
He followed you. His jaw tightened. Voice low.
“Where the fuck have you been?”
You stopped. But didn’t turn.
“I went out,” you said, breezy. “Needed some air.”
“For four days?”
You finally looked at him and smiled.
“Oh, you noticed?”
That was it. That was the match.
Minho slammed the glass down—hard. Sharp enough to crack.
“You think this is funny?” he snapped, storming after you as you made your way to the bedroom. “You think disappearing without a word is some kind of fucking joke?”
“I think disappearing was the smartest thing I’ve done since saying I do.”
You tossed your bags onto the bed.
His eyes were on you—scorching. Dark. Possessive. And furious.
“Do you know what I’ve been through looking for you?”
You raised a brow. “Did you try your ex’s place?”
Minho exploded.
“Don’t fucking bring Hannie into this!”
“Why not?” you shot back. “Thought she’d already in our house.”
“She never came here. She only wanted closure—”
“Closure? You couldn’t send a goddamn text, but she gets closure?”
“You ran off!”
“BECAUSE I’M SICK OF THIS, MINHO!”
Silence.
Breathing. Heavy. Yours trembling, his uneven.
Your hands curled into fists at your sides.
“I didn’t sign up for love,” you said, quieter. “But I also didn’t sign up to be humiliated. To be ignored. To be left behind like a mistake.”
Minho looked at you, really looked.
And for the first time in days, his voice dropped to something that almost sounded like regret.
“You were never a mistake.”
You scoffed.
“Funny. You’ve been treating me like one since the day we met.”
Another silence.
And then—
“I looked for you,” he said. “I fucking panicked. I called everyone. I barely slept.”
You stared at him.
And something in your voice cracked, finally.
“Why?” you whispered. “Because your little doll went missing? Or because your inheritance did?”
That hit home.
Minho stepped forward.
Eyes sharp. Wild.
“I looked for you,” he growled, “because the silence was louder than the fights.”
You didn’t blink.
“I left because I needed space.”
He stared at you. Unmoving.
“And now?”
You met his gaze and said nothing.
You didn’t say anything else that night.
You’d stood in the middle of that bedroom—his fists clenched, your expression empty—and said absolutely nothing. Not “I forgive you.” Not “I understand.” Just… nothing.
And for Lee Minho, that silence was worse than screaming.
The next morning, he cooked breakfast.
Not well. Not gracefully. But enough that the scent of burnt toast and eggs greeted you when you walked into the kitchen at ten a.m., still in the hoodie you’d brought back from your coastal escape.
You blinked.
He stood at the counter. Jaw tight. Hair messy. A single plate waiting at your spot.
You stared at it.
He didn’t look at you.
“I didn’t poison it,” he muttered.
You sat. Ate half of it. Didn’t say thank you.
He didn’t ask why you only took one bite of the toast.
Later that day, a package arrived.
Shopping. Another one.
You’d clearly picked up the habit while you were gone.
He watched you slice the tape with a box cutter and pull out the sexiest red dress he’d ever seen.
You looked at it like it was an old friend. Then walked off humming.
Minho sat on the couch for three full minutes staring at the now-empty box like it personally offended him.
Then he googled the brand.
It cost more than his last pair of sneakers.
You hadn’t even flinched when the bill hit your card.
That night, you wore the dress.
Not for him. Of course not.
You didn’t even tell him you were going out. Just strutted through the apartment like a model on her way to kill a man with her bare hands. Hair done. Lip gloss gleaming. Legs out. Eyes sharper than any knife he owned.
Minho nearly choked on his water.
You grabbed your purse.
He stood.
“Where are you going?”
You didn’t stop walking. “Out.”
“With who?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
He gritted his teeth.
“You’re married.”
You glanced over your shoulder.
“So are you.”
The door clicked behind you.
And Minho?
He stood there, fists clenched, heart thudding, and for the first time in his life—
he felt like he was chasing something he’d already lost.
You didn’t go far.
A lounge downtown. Some live music. Some harmless flirting.
You didn’t give anyone your number, didn’t accept the free drinks—but you smiled. You laughed. You felt something. Even if it wasn’t joy.
It was freedom.
And when you came home past midnight, heels in your hand and a lazy smirk on your lips, Minho was waiting.
Still dressed. Still awake. Eyes dark.
“What, did he not take you home?”
You blinked, unbothered. “Did you want him to?”
Minho moved so fast you barely saw it coming—slamming his glass down on the table, shattering it instantly.
The sound echoed through the apartment like a gunshot.
You didn’t flinch.
“You want to be angry, Minho?” you said coldly. “Then be angry. But stop pretending you have any right to be.”
His voice dropped. Low. Dangerous.
“You think I don’t care?”
You scoffed.
“I think you care about the idea of me. You care about your control.”
He stepped closer.
“You’re my wife.”
You took a breath.
“And I was yours. Until you treated me like furniture. Until you let your ex back into our home. Until I left, and you didn’t even call—”
“I DID.”
You paused.
That… stopped you.
“I did,” he repeated, quieter. “I called. I looked. I… I panicked. Okay? I couldn’t sleep.”
You stared at him.
“You called because you were worried?”
“No,” he bit out. “I called because I thought I lost you and I didn’t even know when you became something I didn’t want to lose.”
Silence.
The air was thick with heat, fury, confusion.
His chest heaved. Your lashes fluttered.
And then—
“Too bad,” you whispered. “You already did.”
You turned.
Walked down the hall.
Closed the door to the bedroom behind you.
Left him with nothing but guilt.
And the sound of his own breathing.
Minho stood in the hallway like he was losing it.
Because he was.
He’d asked. Nicely. Calmly. Even with that aching thing in his chest that he refused to name.
“Dinner with me. Just us.”
You hadn’t even looked up from your phone.
“No thanks.”
Just that. No explanation. No hesitation.
And that might’ve been fine—should’ve been fine—if you hadn’t left the house an hour later in a goddamn silk top, with your lips glossed and your earrings dangling, smiling at your phone like you were excited.
Excited for someone else.
Minho snapped.
He didn’t think. Just grabbed his coat, keys in hand, following the subtle perfume trail you left like it was instinct.
He wasn’t even trying to be sneaky.
He wanted to see.
He needed to see.
And when he found you—sitting at a trendy restaurant downtown, laughing across a table at a guy in a slim black button-up who wasn’t him—he felt something inside him break.
Minho stood outside like a ghost.
Watching.
Your smile looked different here.
Your laugh was real.
Your hand brushed the guy’s wrist when you reached for your wine glass and he laughed too—and Minho? He was already crossing the street.
You saw him before he reached your table.
That same thunderstorm scowl, the same black shirt he wore when he was ready to fight fate itself. You blinked, caught mid-sip, and your date raised an eyebrow.
“Friend of yours?”
“Unfortunately,” you muttered.
But it was too late.
Minho was there.
Next to your table.
Looking between you and the man across from you like he was barely holding himself together.
“Hi,” you said flatly.
He ignored you.
To your date: “She’s married.”
The guy blinked. “She said she was separated.”
“She’s not.” Minho’s voice dropped low. “She’s mine.”
Your jaw dropped. “What the fuck—Minho, you can’t just—”
But he didn’t listen. Didn’t care.
He grabbed your wrist. Not hard, not rough—just firm.
Like he was anchoring himself to you before he drowned.
And then he leaned in—and kissed you.
In front of everyone.
In front of him.
Not a soft kiss. Not a question.
A statement.
Minho kissed you like he was starving. Like he hated you. Like he loved you. Like you were air, and he’d been suffocating.
You pushed him back.
Staring. Shaking.
“What the fuck was that?”
He exhaled hard. “I ended it.”
You blinked.
“My ex. I ended it. For good. She never came to the house. She never stayed. I didn’t want her. I just didn’t know how to let go of something that already left me.”
You stared at him.
“That wasn’t fair to you. None of this was. But if you think I’m gonna sit back and watch you fall for someone else, you’re insane.”
The guy at the table stood awkwardly. “I should probably—”
Minho looked at him once and he quietly slipped out of the table and headed towards the exit.
You bit your lip, eyes blazing.
“You don’t get to be jealous.”
“I am, though.”
“You don’t get to kiss me.”
“I did.”
“And you don’t get to—”
He kissed you again.
This time, slower. Fuller. Like the world was ending and your mouth was his salvation.
When he pulled away, breathless, voice shaking:
“I get to love you. If you’ll let me.”
And for the first time, you didn’t have an answer.
The silence in the car was loud.
Unbearably loud.
You stared out the passenger window, heart still racing, brain trying to make sense of anything. You were vaguely aware that Minho had parked a few minutes ago, engine off, but neither of you moved. Neither of you spoke.
You were still dazed.
Still feeling his lips.
Still tasting him.
You brought your fingers up, brushing against your lower lip in disbelief.
Because what the fuck just happened.
Lee Minho—Mr. Iceman. Mr. I-hate-you-and-this-marriage. Mr. This-isn’t-what-I-wanted—had kissed you. Twice.
In public.
In front of your date.
And worse… You let him.
No. Worse than that— You wanted more.
Minho, on the other hand, sat in the driver’s seat, watching you like he was trying to solve a math problem. Like he couldn’t figure out if he’d just destroyed something or unlocked it. His jaw was tight, his hands still gripping the steering wheel.
Inside his head?
Chaos.
Why did he kiss you?
Why did it feel that good?
And why the fuck did he want to do it again?
He exhaled harshly through his nose, eyes flicking to you. Still staring out the window. Still lost in your thoughts. Still tracing your mouth like it betrayed you.
Something snapped.
“Fuck it,” he muttered, and before you even realized what was happening—
He leaned across the console.
Grabbed the back of your neck.
And kissed you. Again.
But this time, it wasn’t to prove a point.
It wasn’t angry.
It wasn’t performative.
This time, it was heat.
It was raw and hungry and messy.
His lips crushed against yours, mouth parting without hesitation, and your gasp disappeared between his teeth. His hand stayed at your nape, thumb brushing your jaw as he kissed you like he needed it. Like you were the only thing keeping him tethered.
You froze for a second—confused, overwhelmed—
Then you kissed him back.
This time with fire.
Your hands gripped the collar of his coat, yanking him closer across the gearshift. His tongue slid against yours and you moaned before you could stop yourself—and that only made him growl low, deep in his throat, and tilt your head so he could kiss you deeper.
He pulled back just enough to speak, voice ragged.
“I shouldn’t have done that.”
You were breathless. “Then why’d you?”
His eyes searched yours. “Because you’re my wife.”
“That didn’t mean anything to you before.”
“It does now.”
That stunned silence settled again—but this time, it pulsed with electricity.
You sat back slowly, lips swollen, heartbeat slamming against your ribs.
“What changed?”
He was quiet for a moment.
Then, quietly, “You left.”
You blinked.
“I woke up and you weren’t there. Left your phone. No note. Nothing. And the house was just… quiet.”
You waited.
“And I didn’t realize how much I hated the quiet.”
Your throat tightened.
Minho leaned his head back against the headrest, staring up at the roof.
“I told myself I didn’t want this. That it wasn’t supposed to be you. But then it was, and I just—” he paused, eyes squeezing shut. “I don’t know how to do this. I’ve been angry for so long, I forgot how to feel anything else.”
Your voice was soft. “So what now?”
He turned his head slowly. Looked at you like he hadn’t stopped thinking about your mouth since the first kiss.
“What do you want?”
You swallowed hard. The air between you was thick with unspoken things. With need. With possibility.
You opened your mouth. Then closed it.
Because the truth was—
You didn’t know.
You just knew one thing:
Minho was finally looking at you.
And you didn’t want him to stop.
The morning light spilled across the room in soft gold.
You blinked awake slowly, disoriented at first. Sheets tangled around your legs, the faint scent of clean linen and cologne still lingering in the air. It was quiet. Peaceful. Too peaceful.
Until it hit you.
Last night.
The car.
The kiss.
Both kisses.
His mouth on yours like he couldn’t breathe without it.
Your fingers instinctively touched your lips again, brushing over them like you could still feel the imprint of him there. And you could. It was annoying how vivid it all was—the way he grabbed your neck, the groan that slipped from his throat, the way he said you’re my wife like that meant something now.
You sat up too fast, the motion tangling your thoughts even more.
There was no note. No coffee waiting. No sound in the hallway. If you hadn’t known better, you’d think last night was a dream. A delusion you conjured up from all the tension snapping in your spine since this marriage started.
You padded out of the bedroom barefoot, oversized tee hitting just below your thighs. You didn’t expect to see him. You were just headed to the bathroom, like a normal person, to brush your damn teeth and try to reassemble your scrambled dignity.
You reached for the door.
Swung it open.
And there he was.
Minho.
In the bathroom.
Shirtless. Toothbrush in mouth.
Eyes going wide like a deer caught in fuckery.
You froze. So did he.
Toothpaste foam halfway down his lip. Water still running. The mirror fogged from his recent shower and his hair slightly damp, sticking to his forehead in soft, tousled strands that were so unfairly hot you actually wanted to scream.
It was like time stuttered for a second.
Your eyes met, and neither of you said a word.
Not about the kiss. Not about last night. Not about how this exact bathroom was where you’d once screamed at each other just weeks ago—and now you were both standing in it like strangers with secrets on your skin.
He stepped aside slowly, giving you space to reach the sink. “Didn’t know you were up,” he said finally, voice rough with sleep and awkwardness.
You cleared your throat. “Didn’t know you were either.”
A pause.
He spit.
You grabbed your own toothbrush, avoiding his reflection in the mirror.
You could feel his eyes on you though. Like heat.
“So…” he started, voice quieter now. “About last night—”
“Nope,” you said quickly, mouth full of mint. “No talking until after brushing.”
It was a lame excuse.
But you were panicking.
He didn’t argue.
The next two minutes were filled with brushing. Swishing. Spitting. Rinsing. You were trying to play it cool, but your heart was going insane because his arm had just brushed yours and oh god, was that a shiver?
He reached for a towel to dry his face. His fingers passed yours again.
“About last night,” he said again, this time firmer. “I don’t regret it.”
You froze mid-rinse.
He glanced at you, towel hanging around his neck.
“But I get it if you do.”
Your gaze finally met his in the mirror.
“I didn’t say that.”
“So you don’t?”
You were quiet for a second.
“I don’t know what I feel.”
His jaw twitched. “Fair.”
You wiped your mouth and turned toward him, crossing your arms over your chest. “But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to pretend we’re suddenly okay now.”
“I wasn’t going to pretend,” he said evenly. “I just—meant it. That’s all.”
A pause.
“And if I kissed you again,” he added, “I’d still mean it.”
Your stomach flipped. “You’re not going to kiss me again.”
“I’m not?”
You looked up at him, heart hammering, voice barely above a whisper. “You’re my husband, Minho. Not my boyfriend. This isn’t dating. This isn’t normal. You don’t get to just kiss me like we didn’t hate each other last week.”
His eyes darkened. “I didn’t hate you.”
You blinked. “Could’ve fooled me.”
He stepped closer. Not close enough to touch—but close enough that you could smell the clean spice of his skin. The kind of proximity that made your breath catch.
“I hated the situation,” he said quietly. “Not you.”
And for the first time… you actually believed him.
You stared up at him, blood rushing in your ears.
And then, before either of you could speak again—his phone rang in the hallway. The sound broke whatever spell was swirling around you. Minho stepped back, exhaling hard through his nose.
“I’ll get that,” he muttered.
And just like that, he was gone.
Leaving you in the bathroom.
Staring at your reflection.
And still tasting his kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Authors note: part two is linked at the top of the fic, for my new readers 😏 WELCOME
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drill-bits · 2 months ago
Text
Carriage
A guide to stages and movements and terms of carrying a sparkling to term (with supplemental diagrams)
Creation Types
Edited June 3, 2025: Carrier bulking and strengthening
First Event: Spark Merge
Merging of sparks, forms the sparklet (extremely early stage sparkling which is incapable of sustaining itself beyond the carrier’s corona).
Demonstrated below in figures 1-4
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Term One: Sparked
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Sparklet is attached to carrier’s spark, held within the corona (see fig. 5). At this time, carrier becomes lethargic and sensitive to any sort of spark strain (physical or emotional).
During this stage, the sparklet can be reabsorbed without issue if the carrier is under too much stress (basically, if physically unwell, carry will not proceed and terminate itself).
Ex. Effects of war would prevent sparkling from developing beyond first term
Carry is undetectable beyond very precise medical scan at this time. If reabsorbed/self-terminated, carrier may experience mild and temporarily abnormal spark rotations.
First Movement: Separation
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Sparklet separates from carrier’s spark and enters orbit around it.
Carry is now obvious to carrier.
Term Two: Orbit
Sparkling begins orbiting carrier’s spark (see fig. 8)
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Gestation tank and forge begin building the sparkling’s protoform, initiating creation protocols to take in more fuel and repair nanites necessary to manufacture sentio metallico. In some cases, referred to as “primordial gestation”.
Orbit continues until protoform is fully built.
Carriers begin to develop reinforced armor and “bulking up” in legs, back, and waist struts to carry the load.
Carry can be picked up on regular scans.
Second Movement: Descent
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Sparkling leaves carrier’s orbit and descends into the waiting protoform.
Detachment is extremely painful. Movement is excruciating and carrier is at high risk throughout duration of descent.
Term Three: (final) Gestation
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Carrier’s T-cog freezes, preventing full transformation (beyond cosmetic/external movements such as panels, ports, and weaponry). Carrier protocols enable freezing without risk of carrier going into shock.
Sparkling’s frame begins developing features and qualities as ascribed by spark coding and coding taken from construction nanities.
Depending in frame type, sparkling may develop certain features first. (See above graphic)
Carrier begins craving minerals and additives to assist in building sparkling frame and armor. Materials are specific to sparkling frame requirements.
Carrier’s back and leg struts are reinforced to support the sparkling’s increasingly dense and heavy little body (eating for two). Carrier also becomes more armored (immovable object) and gain strength disproportional to their size class.
Event: Emergence
Sparkling emerges from carrier’s body. The carrier’s t-cog reactivates suddenly and forces the carrier into a position of rest where they can then open their internal casings so that sparkling can be removed/extracted or ejected.
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formulakracing · 3 months ago
Text
i. now or never - t.w.
pairing -> student intern!reader x toto wolff
word count -> 1.7k
warnings -> cursing, age gap relationships, power imbalance, a little bit of toxicity, toto being sexy (as always), world-building, mentions of marijuana use, mentions of alcohol use, allusions to sexual fantasies, SLOW BURN (fr this time) yadayadayada (if i missed somethin’ lemme know)
a/n -> i apologize in advance if the internship i write about is nothing like an actual internship for mercedes LMFAO also, bear with me. i know it starts slow but it will pick up!
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"oh, great. you're bringing up this fucking internship again. why are you always going on and on about this stupid program?"
swallowing thickly, you drum your fingers on the table, shrugging ever so slightly, "why not? i think it would be a great opportunity for not only grad school, but for career advancement. do you know how many doors that would open for me if i—"
"you'd be gone for an entire year. that's why i don't think it's a good idea."
⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺
inhaling sharply, you bite down on your tongue, suppressing a sharp retort.
why does it matter if i have to leave for a year? it's not like you care enough about my interests anyway.
he arches a brow, cocking his head, "why aren't you saying anything?"
"because it's not worth bickering about," fingers curling around the misty glass, you swirl it around, watching as the bubbles float to the surface, "you're right. i'd be gone for a year. it's such a competitive program. i don't even think i'm good enough to get in. they probably prioritize european students anyway. the deadline for the application is due in a week. there's no way i could get everything together in time. it's not worth all the hassle."
"good girl," he hums in approval, shoving a few fries in his mouth, "you know i support you throughout everything you do. i just don't want you to pour all of your energy into this one project just to be rejected. i know you. you'd be devastated. you wouldn't leave your apartment for weeks."
do you know me though? do you really?
the waitress slips by the table, sliding a receipt toward the middle of the table, "here's the bill, as requested. have a great night! be safe getting home!"
gnawing on the inside of your cheek, you wait until her back is turned. exhaling, you pick up the bill, "i'll get it."
"you sure?" he presses, "i'll cover the tip then."
"sounds good."
fishing your phone out of your pocket, you let it hover over the qr code. typing in your card information, you can't help but notice him fumbling with his pockets, searching for his wallet.
puckering your lips, it's your turn to tilt your head, "did you forget your wallet at home?"
"yeaaaaahhhh," his lower lips quivers, forming a pout, "would you mind? i can just venmo or cashapp you later."
"sure," clicking your tongue, you select the tip percentage on the screen, ensuring that the waitress receives a few more dollars than suggested, "okay, it's paid for. let's go."
he follows in suit as you slide out of the booth, shoving your arms in your jacket. pulling his phone out, his attention is fixated on the dim screen, fingers a flurry as he types away.
"hey, one of the boys is going through some shit. you mind if i catch an uber over to his place? i'll be home later."
"like how late?"
"i don't know," he shakes his head, gaze glued on whatever he was possibly reading, "it's matteo. his girlfriend cheated on him. it looks like he could use cheering up."
"i don't care," your eye twitches, yet you wave a hand, "as long as you don't wake me up when you get back."
"of course baby," he coos, placing a tender peck on your cheek, "get some safe, okay?"
"i will," you nod, "love you."
"love you too!" he beams, pulling you in for a quick embrace, "i'll be back before midnight."
"okay."
it's a quiet trek through the parking lot.
a breeze rolls through the cars, promising of frigid weather. tangerine rays filter through the trees, the sun making its descent toward the horizon. the sky is a blanket of a tranquil blue, with traces of lavender and magenta as dusk transitions to night.
clicking your key fob, your vehicle chirps, the engine roaring to life. opening the door, you nearly collapse into the seat, your vision blurred by tears. sniffling, you ensure your seat belt is on, shifting the gear into reverse.
as you pull out of the parking lot, you catch a glimpse of your boyfriend as he clambers into the uber. you try to wave, to muster some sort of smile, but he is not paying any sort of attention as your car soars by.
at that, the tears erupt into sobs.
by no means was your boyfriend a terrible man. he was more than adequate, actually. however, the sheer disdain in his voice over the idea of your pursuing this internship left a sour taste in your mouth.
to be honest, it was more like an awful, putrid taste, bile rising up in the back of your throat as you wallow over the interaction, knuckles turning white as you grip the steering wheel.
the internship in question?
well, it was more like a job opening.
you left that part out, just so that your family and boyfriend would be more apt to the idea. after all, they did not need to know all of the particulars.
all they needed to know is that you were prepping for the opportunity of a lifetime.
an opportunity overseas to work with the mercedes amg petronas formula one team as a member of their media crew.
the internship spanned over the course of several months, following the team throughout the season. from what you could make out from the application, you would start just shy of the season opener in melbourne, around march third. the end date was unclear, but you figured it would end around the time the season was over in december. in all, you would be away from home for nine months.
and your internship duties? all you had to do was travel to luxurious cities, meet fans, promote the team across their social media platforms, and most importantly, film the races.
and the best part? it was a paid internship. mercedes would not only pay you for working with them, but they would also cover travel costs, food, and even software upgrades. additionally, you would receive a monthly stipend for your own personal spending, just so that you could "enjoy your time with us to the fullest."
it was everything you could have dreamed of and more.
so, what was holding you back?
well, there were a few things.
one, was your boyfriend. he was not keen on the idea of you leaving the country, even if it was only for a few months. he was very adamant that if you were to take this internship, then he would end your relationship.
according to him, nine months was too much for him to do long distance. although, the two of you had temporarily engaged in a long distance relationship before he transferred back home.
two, was your family. similar to your boyfriend, they were not happy about the idea of you leaving. they felt that formula one was too flashy. too extravagant. you would not fit in with all of the wealthy moguls and influencers.
you belonged here, in your mediocre college town where no one ever left. you would fare much better spending every weekend frequenting the same bars over and over again, running into the same people, making awkward, monotone small talk. besides, what if the internship was a scam? what if it wasn't everything you hoped it would be?
and the third reason?
well, it was a bit more complicated.
you had a bit of impostor syndrome, as you felt your skills were not good enough. your editing was too choppy. your transitions were not quite neat enough to fit the speed of the cars. since you were an amateur, your work was mainly posted across your instagram and tik tok accounts. your resume was nowhere near as elegant as the other potential applications.
so, why even try? why apply to something like this?
well, ever since you were a little girl, you dreamed of working in motorsports. you weren't quite sure of what you would do at the time, but you knew that it was your calling.
every time you watched a race or posted an edit, there was a shiver that ran down your spine, goosebumps appearing all over. there was a pull at your heart, nearly tugging away at you.
it was enticing, begging you to keep watching. to keep compiling clips together. to keep creating material that was crafted by you, and only you.
it called to push your creativity to the limits. to chase that dream.
to satisfy that hunger deep in your soul.
with graduation only if a few months, you were running out of time. it was now or never. make it or break it.
it was time to push yourself. it was time to break free from the clutches of your college town. it was time to take the leap, one that you had been putting off for so fucking long.
it was time to finally put yourself first.
to choose something that would bring you nothing but pure, immense joy.
and as you pulled into your driveway, you threw open your car door. scurrying inside, you made your way to your room, pushing the door open. tossing your bag on your bed, you hunker at your desk, locating that bookmarked tab.
everything was in order. you had the letters of recommendation. the personal statement was attached. the resume was completed. the portfolio was uploaded.
all you had to do was press that final square.
submit.
your index fingers hovers above the button, nearly trembling.
squeezing your eyes shut, you apply pressure, a clicking ringing in your ears.
within seconds, a new message appears across your screen.
thank you for your interest in this internship with the mercedes amg petronas formula one media team!
after receiving your application, our team will diligently look over your application and submit it for review.
a decision will be made in approximately six to eight weeks. once we have made our decision, you should receive an email in your inbox. make sure to check your spam, as it may be sent there.
we wish you the best of luck!
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