#is it fair that that's just half of AFI? maybe not

[cannibal-of-god]

Announcement to my following to listen to Blaqk Audio.

You won't regret it.

[introvertguide]

Influential Directors of the Silent Film Era

Upon hearing that I am a fan of silent era film, people will ask if I have a favorite actor or movie from the time period. However, when I am asked about my favorites from other fans of silent film, it tends to involve my favorite director. This is because silent film actors had to over gesticulate and performed in an unrealistic way and could not use their tone or words to convey emotion. The directors also did not have a way to review as they shot and would have to use editing skills and strategic cover shots to make sure that everything was done properly and come out the way they imagined it. It was up to the director to be creative and they were forced to be innovative and create ways to convey their vision. Luckily for many average or poor directors of the time, audiences were easily impressed. However, today's more demanding and sophisticated audiences can look back at some of the genius behind the films of silent era Hollywood.

Alice Guy-Blache: Matrimony's Speed Limit (1913) and The Fairy of the Cabbages (1896)

Art director of the film studio The Solax Company, the largest pre-Hollywood movie studio, and camera operator for the France based Gaumont Studio headed up by Louis Lemiere, this woman was a director before any kind of gender expectations were even established. She was a pioneer of the use of audio recordings in conjunction with images and the first filmmaker to systematically develop narrative filming. Guy-Blanche didn't just record an image but used editing and juxtaposition to reveal a story behind the moving pictures. In 1914, when Hollywood studios hired almost exclusively upper class white men as directors, she famously said that there was nothing involved in the staging of a movie that a woman could not do just as easily as a man.

Charlie Chaplin: The Kid (1921), The Gold Rush (1923), City Lights (1931), Modern Times (1936), and The Great Dictator (1940)

It is unfortunate that many people today think of Chaplin as silly or for screwball comedy when, in fact, he was a great satirist of the time. He created his comedy through the eyes of the lower economic class that suffered indignities over which they had no control. He traversed the world as his "Tramp" character who found his fortune by being amiable and lucky. The idea that a good attitude and a turn of luck could result in happiness was all that many Americans had during the World Wars and the Great Depression. He played the part of the sad clown and he was eventually kicked out of the country for poking fun at American society. Today he is beloved for his work, but he was more infamous than famous during a large part of his life.

Buster Keaton: Sherlock Jr. (1924), The General (1926), and The Cameraman (1928).

That man that performed the most dangerous of stunts with a deadpan expression, Buster Keaton was a great actor, athlete, stuntman, writer, producer, and director. It is amazing that you could get so much emotion out of a silent actor who does not emote, but Keaton managed to do it. He was also never afraid to go big, often putting his own well being at risk to capture a good shot. Not as well known for his cinematography or editing as many of the other directors of the time, he instead captured performances that were amazing no matter how they were filmed. Famous stunts include the side of a house falling down around him, standing on the front of a moving train, sitting on the side rail of a moving train, and grabbing on to a speeding car with one hand to hitch a ride. If you like films by Jackie Chan, know that he models his films after the work of Buster Keaton: high action and high comedy.

Cecil B. Demille: The Cheat (1915), Male and Female (1919), and The Ten Commandments (1923)

Known as the father of the Hollywood motion picture industry, Demille was the first director to make a real box office hit. He is likely best known for making The Ten Commandments in 1923 and then remaking it again in 1956. If not that, he was also known for his scandalous dramas that depicted women in the nude. This was pre-Code silent film so the rules about what could be shown had not been established. Demille made 30 large production successful films in the silent era and was the most famous director of the time which gave him a lot of freedom. His trademarks were Roman orgies, battles with large wild animals, and large bath scenes. His films are not what most modern film watchers think of when they are considering silent films. That famous quote from the movie Sunset Boulevard in 1950 in which the fading silent actress says "All right, Mr. Demille. I'm ready for my close-up," is referring to this director.

D.W. Griffith: Birth of a Nation (1915) and Intolerance (1916)

Griffith started making films in 1908 and put out just about everything that he recorded. He made 482 films between 1908 and 1914, although most of these were shorts. His most famous film today is absolutely Birth of a Nation and it is one of the most outlandishly racist films of the time. The depiction of black Americans as evil and the Klu Klux Klan as heroes who are protecting the nation didn't even really go over well at that time. Some believe that his follow up the next year called Intolerance was an apology, but the film actually addresses religious and class intolerance and avoids the topic of racism. At the time, Griffith films were known for the massive sets and casts of thousands of extras, but today he is known for his racist social commentary.

Sergei Eisenstein: Battleship Potemkin (1925)

This eccentric Russian director was a pioneer of film theory and the use of montage to show the passage of time. His reputation at the time would probably be similar to Tim Burton or maybe David Lynch. He had a very specific strange style that made his films different from any others. The film Battleship Potemkin is considered to be one of the best movies of all time as rated by Sight and Sound, and generally considered as a great experimental film that found fame in Hollywood as well as Russia.

F.W. Murnau: Nosferatu (1922), Faust (1926), and Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927)

I think that most people would know the bald-headed long-nailed vampire Nosferatu that was a silent era phenomena. It was so iconic that the German film studio that produced the movie was sued by the estate of Bram Stoker and had to close. Faust was his last big budget German film and has an iconic shot of the demon Mephisto raining plague down on a town that was the inspiration for the Demon Mountain in Fantasia (1940). Also, Sunrise is considered one of the best movies of all time by the AFI and by Sight and Sound as well as my favorite silent film. Fun facts: 1) more of Murnau's films have been lost then are still watchable and 2) he died in a car wreck at only 40 when he hired a car to drive up the California coast and the driver was only 14.

Erich von Stroheim: Greed (1924)

Maker of very strange German Expressionist films, Stroheim films are often listed as Horror or Mystery even though he considered himself a dramatic film maker. His most famous movie Greed was supposed to be amazing with an 8 hour run time but it was cut drastically to the point that it makes no sense and was both critically and publicly panned when an extremely abridged version was released in the U.S. Over half the film was lost and a complete version no longer exists. Besides this film, Stroheim was even better known for being the butler in the film Sunset Boulevard as a former director who retired to be with an aging silent film star. He also made a movie called Between Two Women (1937) that told the story of a female burn victim that was inspired by the story of his wife being burned in an explosion in a shop on the actual Sunset Boulevard.

Victor Fleming: The Wizard of Oz (1939) and Gone With the Wind (1939)

Although not known for his silent films, Fleming did get his start during the silent era. He was a cinematographer for D.W. Griffith and then Fleming directed his first film in 1919. Most of his silent films were swashbuckling action movies with Douglas Fairbanks or formulaic westerns. He is the only director to have two films on the AFI top 10 and they happened to have come out the same year.

Hal Roach: Lonesome Luke films starring Harold Lloyd, Our Gang shorts, Laurel and Hardy shorts, and Of Mice and Men (1939)

It is not really fair to put Hal Roach in the silent era directors because he was influential at the time but he had a 75 year career. He was a producer and film studio head and even had a studio named after himself. His biggest contribution to the silent era was his production of Harold Lloyd short comedies and he continued to produce films in the early talkies including Laurel and Hardy shorts, Our Gang shorts, and Wil Rogers films. Roach was the inspiration for the film Sullivan's Travels, in which a famous director who only did frivolous comedies goes out into the world to find inspiration to find a serious drama. Roach did direct a single serious drama, Of Mice and Men, but it came out in 1939 and was buried underneath the works of Victor Fleming. The wealthy cigar smoking studio head that many people think of when they picture a film studio suit is based on this guy. The man would not quit and stayed in the business into his 90s and lived to the ripe old age of 100.

[rosecorcoranwrites]

Villain Motivation and the Banality of Evil

Motivation in Fact and Fiction

As you know by now, I am a huge true crime fan. I've read books by FBI profilers and crime historians, am addicted to the Investigation Discovery channel, and have even attended a semester of my local police departments "citizens police academy". This is a professional as well as a personal interest, given that I am currently outlining a mystery WIP set in an alternate version of our world. Thus, I want to understand crime investigation, different types of evidence, and, of course, motive. It's this last one—the motivation behind a villain's acts—that many authors, not just those who write mystery—concern themselves with. And, after examining hundreds of real-life crimes, I'm here to tell you that it's not that important.

Ok, it's a little important, in that a villain needs a motive, but it's not important that it be extremely groundbreaking, or extremely relatable, or extremely anything. Motives tend to be common place, not extreme, no matter how shocking the other aspects of a crime.

For example, the excellent book The Father of Forensics: The Groundbreaking Cases of Sir Bernard Spilsbury and the Beginnings of Modern CSI, which I raved about previously, contains a number of sensational cases where the bodies were either hideously mutilated or, conversely, found without any scratch on them. To add intrigue to injury, the murders happened in the early days of forensics, when procedures for dealing with evidence were still being worked out and when more modern investigative tools like AFIS, DNA testing, and psychological profiling were still decades away. Every case was fascinating in its details and in its eventual solution. Almost every case had, as a motive, either money or getting out of an unwanted relationship. That was it. The oddities of the bodies were the killers' attempts at not being caught, but the reasons for there being bodies in the first place were as average as could be.

In fact, the three main motives, according to Lt. Joe Kenda, of ID channel fame, are money, revenge, and sex. The more headline-catching serial-killer crimes happen, it seems, due to a desire for power or a thrill. I would say these five motives sum up most murders, maybe even most crimes. Once you cut away the mystery and the gore, all you're left with are some pretty average human desires: money/stuff, vengeance/justice, sex, power/control, and thrill/excitement. When people talk about the banality of evil, this is what they mean.

Take the motive of "money". We're all familiar with the idea, in real and fictional crime, of robbing banks or killing someone for their life insurance. Writers seem to find this an acceptable plot point: villain wants a lot of money and thus does very bad things. Yet, if you watch enough crime TV, you will know that real murders happen for sums as low as $400 or even $40. There was an episode of Homicide Hunter: Lt. Joe Kenda where a man was shot and almost killed over an argument about 25 cents!

It also needn't be money, but material possessions. In one of the citizen's police academy classes, we learned about a local case where three teenagers broke into a man's house and stole, among other things, his corncob pipe. This pipe was the item he was most upset about, and often discussed in subsequent weeks. So the man lured one of the teenagers out to the woods and shot him execution-style. He was planning to do the same to the other two, and blame the whole crime on his teenaged lover. So that was one life ruined—and it would have been three others, had he not been caught—with the motive of revenge for a lost corncob pipe!

The Gap Between Good and Evil

I thus wonder why it is that we, as writers, tend to overlook such commonplace motivations. There's an unspoken assumption that the motivation of a villain must scale with their actions, so while sub-bosses or henchmen might get away with being in it for the money or the thrill, the Big Bad needs a more exciting or deep motivation. There's also a more recent idea being bandied about in internet circles that the villain should think he's the hero. I think both of these concepts are flawed, but let's take them one at a time.

Although I personally love "True Believer" villains that really do believe they are doing what is right, I don't think it's fair to say that all villains must be this way. After all, a great many real-life villains don't think they're doing something good; they just don't care. They want what they want and do what they can to get it without worrying about morality. I think the reason that this second sort of villain--the thrill-killer, the evil sorcerer, the bully--get a bad rap is that people (both readers and writers), don't understand evil. Yes, a villain who only desires evil is unrealistic, because, in fact, it's impossible to desire evil. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.

In the Catholic tradition, we hold that evil doesn't exist; it has no metaphysical reality. Evil is a privation, or absence, of good, similar to how a shadow doesn't exist, but is a privation, or absence, of light. Thus, a person cannot desire evil in and of itself, because they would be desiring nothing. Every evil act is done because someone is desiring something good, but disproportionately, or in a way that removes part of the good from that thing. Again, look at the five motives for murder. Each of those is a good, in and of themselves, but none justifies violating another person.

And thus we come to the other assumption about villains, that their actions must scale with their motives. I think, in fact, the opposite tends to make a more interesting villain. The motive can be something small--wanting revenge for some slight, or a peaceful life, or to be like everyone else. These might even be the same goods that the hero desires. What makes the villain villainous, and what can make them even more interesting, is what they are willing to do to fulfill these desires. Who or what are they willing to throw away? What rules are they willing to break? That distance, between what they want and how they get it is what separates them from the hero.

Types of Villains

This principle, that a villain must desire a good, but desire it disproportionately, can work for any type of villain.

Take the True Believer types: those that believe they are doing what's right. In this category, I would put people like Thanos (Avengers: Infinity War), as well as A.I.s like Agent Smith (The Matrix), VIKI (iRobot), and the Terminators (Terminator... obviously). Thanos is widely lauded as one of Marvel's best villains because he really does think he's doing the right thing. He is willing to throw away half of all sapient beings, plus the one person who he actually cares about, in order to save the other half. What he wants--peace and prosperity--is understandable, but while the gap between that and his genocidal actions is mathematically non-existent, it is morally huge. Similarly, the three A.I.s I mentioned are trying to save either robot-kind or human-kind, but are willing to murder thousands or even billions of humans in order to do it. Essentially, these villains are doing the classic Utilitarian trolley problem, but on a massive scale. They think they are the heroes, and truly do desire a good outcome, but the actions taken to bring that about are inexcusably evil.

Similar to the True Believers are a type of villain I will call the Desperate. These people are also trying to bring about good, but know that what they are doing is wrong. Mr. Freeze (Batman) is a classic example, as he commits crimes to get money and technology to save his wife. Actually, there are a whole slew of villains, mostly in anime and JRPGs, whose entire motivation is to save or resurrect a dead wife or girlfriend. They're trying to save someone they love, but they rarely brand themselves as saviors or heroes; Desperate types hold no such illusions. Sebastian, in my own series, is such a villain, in that he is willing to betray his friends and ally himself to bad people in order to save Chiaroscuro and make up for his past sins. He's willing to do evil that good may come of it, and actually uses the "I'm a bad person anyway" excuse as a justification for his actions.

On the flip side are those who don't care about whether or not they're doing good, which I will divide into three types: Dark Lords, Thrill Killers, and Egoists.

Dark Lords, obviously, include literal Dark Lords, such as Sauron and Voldemort, but I'm also going to throw in your average serial killer into this category. Why? Because they all want the same thing: power. The books I've read by FBI profilers chronicle the most gruesome crimes with motives ranging from rage to lust, but there is an ever present need of the killers to control, whether that's controlling their victims, the situation, or the police and firefighters (in the case of arsonists). Control is related to power, and power, in and of itself, is a good. This, in fact, is why it's wrong for these villains to take away the power or freedom of their victims. While a True Believer like Thanos sought balance, Dark Lords seek an imbalance, and want everything for themselves in an attempt to prove to themselves that they are more powerful, and thus better, than everyone else. These types of villains are, sadly, very realistic, but don't lend themselves to stories requiring a strong interpersonal conflict between hero and villain. They tend to act as a force of nature the hero must work against--whether in a fantasy against a Dark Lord or in a thriller against a serial murderer--and thus don't do much in the way of interpersonal conflict.

Better, in my opinion, are the Thrill Killer types, who see the world as a game, and are willing to do whatever it takes to have fun. Example of this are The Joker (Batman) and Mr. Sato (Ajin). Though The Joker is a bank-robbing thug, he's mostly in it for the laughs, and cares very deeply about whether or not things are funny. That doesn't make him any less abusive or violent, but the gap between his humor and his barbarity is what make him an interesting character. Mr. Sato, similarly, sees the world like one huge videogame, in which he has been given extra lives. Fun and games are a normal and natural good, but his villainy stems from what he is willing to do in this "game". Mr. Sato has absolutely no concern for human life, even his own, and kills hundreds of people (including himself, on multiple occasions!). The interest in this type of villain comes from watching their crazy schemes and then trying to figure out how the hero can possibly beat them. These villains are similar to Dark Lords in that they are something like a force of nature, but different in that the hero usually has to face off against them personally, outwit them, and deal with them as an individual person.

Finally, there are those who want something personally good, but have no regard for others. Technically, this could also describe Dark Lords and Thrill Killers, but here I mean really personal, as in specific to that person. Rather than something big like power or a crazy thrill, they tend to desire the utterly ordinary. Take the robot in Ex Machina. I'm not sure everyone would classify her as a villain, though she certainly did some evil things (it's up to interpretation whether she understands good and evil, though). What was her motivation? She wanted to go watch a crowd. She was, essentially, created to gather information, so that's what she went to go do. It makes sense that that's what she wants, but it doesn't justify what she did to the main character (even if he was kind of a doofus). Or Rezo the Red Priest (Slayers), who, in my opinion, has one of the best motivations of any villain ever. He was born blind and wanted to see. That's a totally understandable motivation. But he's willing to sacrifice the entire world to a demon lord in order to get that wish. Now that is a heckofa gap between a good desire and an evil action! And yet, is it really all that different from the sort of selfishness present in a man who would murder three teenagers over a corncob pipe? Real evil motivations are banal, and real evil actions are completely disproportionate to those motivations. Art, in the case of these last villains, is simply imitating life.

Asking What the Villains Want

Obviously, there are a million different ways of combining these villain type and motivations. Some villains want money so they can save a dying loved one. Some villains desire revenge because they truly believe they have been wronged. A Thrill Killer might find excitement in killing criminals. There is no one right way to write a villain, and there is no one motivation that is the only interesting kind. To anyone trying to write a villain, I suggest reading about or watching shows on real life criminals, from the Big Bads like Hitler, Stalin, and Mao to famous killers like Jack the Ripper and Ted Bundy to run of the mill criminals in your local newspaper. People don't become mass murderers or even petty thieves for no reason, but they also don't just do evil because it's the evil thing to do. Even the most gruesome atrocities were rooted in the desire for misplaced revenge, or disproportionate control, or a false belief in some so-called greater good. Then, I suggest reading and watching your favorite stories and asking what makes these villains tick. Is it the same as in real life? Is it different? What makes a great villain so great? You'll may just find that it's simply a matter of proportion.

[blahehblah]

Six Months Of Waiting

Cashton Smut!!!!!!!

Friday Night 1:30 a.m

It was atypical of Beata’s neighbors to be up this late. The wall of her bedroom was being thudded against, and she could only guess at what her neighbors were up to.

This happened every Friday night. The two men that had lived next to her for the last six months had always brought a lady friend back to the apartment complex around Midnight, and then had fun with her for the next four hours.

It always baffled Beata how the two men next door had lasted so long in bed. None of the men that she had been with hadn’t lasted nearly as long as those two did. It made her a tad bit jealous.

Beata sat up on her bed, having heard enough of the two men’s moans, and the lady friend that they had brought along with them.

None of the guys that she had been with hadn’t been as attractive as the two of them either. The two were built like gods, and Beata was sure that they knew it. Cocky bastards.

‘They’re lucky I don’t have to be into work early on Saturdays.’ Beata thought. She stood up from her bed, and trudged into the living room to sleep on the couch, as she did on most Friday nights.

The living room wasn’t much better for the noise, Beata could still clearly hear the wails of the female that was being tag teamed by her two unreasonably attractive neighbors, but at least she couldn’t hear the banging of the headboard on the wall anymore.

Saturday Morning 6:30 a.m

Beata woke from her slumber to hear her alarm clock going off in her bedroom. She groaned, and fell back onto the pillow that she had dragged with her to the couch. “It’s too early to be awake.” She said to no one in particular.

All she wanted to do was to climb back into her bed, that she left in the middle of the night so that she could maybe get a decent night’s sleep. Knowing fully well that she couldn’t fall onto her bed like she wanted to, Beata got up from the couch.

She walked into her kitchen, and grabbed the cereal from the counter, and the milk from the fridge. Beata opened up the small dishwasher and pulled out a bowl and a spoon.

Having made herself some breakfast, she went back into the living room to open her computer and go through her emails from her professors. This is usually around the time when the wails, and the groans started up again.

Beata sighed as she prepared for another onslaught of her neighbors having one last sexual endeavor with the woman from the night before. Only today, it didn’t come.

Beata didn’t even want to know why.

Saturday Afternoon 12:30 p.m

Work had been slow for Beata. But lunch rush had cleared out around half an hour ago, so she had been expecting it.

“Hey Beata, two guys just walked in,” Her boss Leslie said. “Can you get them for me?”

Beata smiled and nodded. “Yeah,” She turned around and pulled her notepad out from her apron. She walked toward the table that had two familiar heads of hair sitting at it. Beata could feel the irritation spark in her as she recognized the two men. “Hi,” she said as calmly as she could. “My name is Beata, and I’ll be your server today! What can I get for you?”

The one with honey blond curls looked up from his menu, and his hazel eyes widened. “A coffee with pancakes please?” He asked. His voice was deep, but not unpleasantly so.

“Of course,” Beata said in a chipper voice, clearly faking it. “And for you, sir?” She asked the dark haired one.

His head snapped up, and he looked at her with wide eyes. “Same as him.” And he’d slouched back in his seat, as Beata wrote down coffee and pancakes on the notepad. “I know you from somewhere.”

“Maybe you’ve been into Leslie’s before.” Beata hinted. Not wanting the both of them to know that she was their neighbor that had heard every single one of their sexual encounters for the last six months.

The dark one nodded. “Yeah, maybe that’s it.” He said this, but his tone suggested that he didn’t believe it.

Saturday Night 7:00 p.m

As soon as Beata was in her apartment she toed off her shoes, and dropped her bags onto the counter by her front door. She made a beeline to her bedroom, and immediately ran to her closet for more comfortable clothing.

She pulled an old AFI shirt out, and her favorite grey sweatpants from her dresser. She pulled the comfortable clothes on, and not even two minutes after she was dressed a knocking was sounded from her door.

“Ugh, why?” Beata muttered underneath her breath. “I just wanted to eat, and go to bed.” She walked out of her bedroom, stomping slightly, not caring that the people below her might get irritated with it.

She really should’ve checked her peephole before opening her door, because then, she might’ve been more prepared for who was on the other side. ‘IDIOT!’ Her brain screamed at her. There on the other side of the door, was her two neighbors.

‘You fucking idiot.’ She closed her eyes and prayed it was all a dream. Unfortunately, her dreams were never this vivid. She really wanted to bang her head against the wall.

“Cute bra.” She eyes snapped open, and looked to the tall, dark haired one. He was smirking, and not for the first time since the two had moved in, she wanted to wipe it off his face. Beata squinted her eyes, and looked down at her shirt.

Once again, she wanted to bang her head against the wall. Beata had completely forgotten that she was wearing her holey AFI shirt, and underneath it was her baby pink bandeau. She cursed under her breath.

The blond one was leaning against the door, smiling slightly. “Hi,” He said. “In the six months we’ve lived next to each other, I don’t think we’ve ever properly met.” he extended his hand towards her. “I’m Ashton.”

“You already know my name,” Beata said to him, also extending her hand. “But, I’m Beata.” He grasped her hand in his much larger one, and Beata couldn’t help but notice the callouses scratching against her own hand, and the warmth his exuded. She held back a shiver.

Not wanting to get caught up in her thoughts about Ashton’s hand, she turned to the one with the smirk still planted on his face. She reluctantly pulled her hand away from Ashton’s, and held it out towards him.

“And you are?” She prompted. His smirk faltered at her false confidence. But, quickly seeing that she was faking it, the smirk returned only more genuine than the last.

“Calum.” He said. His hand reached out, and took her hand in his. Keeping the smirk on his face, he brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it.

His mouth was warm, supple, and soft. She wanted it on hers, immediately. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ashton’s adam’s apple bobbing. Once Calum’s lips hand left her hand, she knew exactly what was happening. Calum’s hand dropped hers, and she missed the pressure of his hand in hers.

She cleared her throat. “You guys want to come in?”

“We’d love to,” Calum said before Ashton could say anything about it. Beata saw Ashton glare at him. Calum just smiled back at Ashton, and Beata was having a hard time controlling the smile gracing her face.

Ashton’s own face softened at her smile. “Okay.” he conceded. The two walked into her apartment, and started looking at the miscellaneous pictures on the walls. Some were of her family, some of were of friends.

Beata excused herself from the living room and into the kitchen. As soon as she turned the corner that cut off the kitchen from the living room, she took a deep breath.

She placed her hand on her chest, as if that would calm her racing heart. She scoffed. Of course it wouldn’t. She peaked around the corner, and saw the two men still ogling her pictures.

She smiled. ‘Family men.’ Beata turned back to the kitchen. “Do you guys want anything to eat or drink?” She semi-yelled.

“Beer?” Calum asked. She heard him muttering to Ashton. “Two beers?”

She giggled. “Coming right up,” She opened her fridge and pulled out three Coronas. When Beata went back into the hallway she saw the two men sitting on her couch.

She saw Calum’s gaze drift over to her, and she suddenly wanted to hide her face in her hands. Calum smiled slightly at Beata’s flustered appearance. His eyes trailed down her body, appreciating how the light pink accentuated her skin.

Beata watched as Calum nudged Ashton’s side, and she watched how Ashton turned to face Calum. Calum flicked his eyes over to her, and Ashton’s eyes followed. Beata took a chance and walked in front of the guys’ vision.

She handed Ashton his Corona, and sat on her couch between the two. She turned to Calum to hand him his Corona. Her hand brushed his, and he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. Honey brown eyes darting up to meet her own.

She turned on the TV, “What do you guys want to watch?”

“You,” Ashton said. Beata whipped her head around to see him. His face was so close to hers. Their noses were brushing, and she vaguely felt Calum moving behind her. She felt the warmth radiating from his hands on her waist.

Ashton moved his mouth closer to hers. “Can we kiss you?” He asked.

She didn’t know how she answered, because within the next second his mouth was on hers, and Calum’s was on her neck. Ashton’s hands moved from his lap to her face.

His hands on her face prompted her to move onto his lap. Doing so caused Calum to whine when lips detached from the skin of her neck.

“No fair,” He said. “Her skin is so soft.” Beata was barely paying attention to him. All she could focus on was Ashton’s lips on hers, and his hands traveling up her shirt.

Ashton heard Calum’s whines, and removed his lips from Beata’s. “Come here and kiss her then.” Calum easily obliged.

Calum stood from the couch, and made his way over to Beata, who was still sitting on Ashton’s lap. He stood behind her, and placed his hands on her shoulders. He Calum dragged his hands up from her shoulders to Beata’s neck, where he squeezed lightly. His hands left her neck and Calum grabbed Beata’s jaw and pulled her head back so he could place his lips over hers.

Beata moaned into Calum’s mouth at the feeling of him finally kissing her, and that Ashton’s hands had made their way up to her breasts. They were gripping her so good, and she wanted more.

Calum’s lips trailed from her mouth to her neck, and started sucking, and placing hickey’s wherever he could. “Please,” Beata said breathlessly. “Please, I need you.”

“Which one of us, babe?” Calum cockily said in her ear, before biting her earlobe.

She huffed, fed up with the teasing. Wanting to get back at the both of them for the last six months and for the teasing they were unleashing upon her now, she decided to tease them right back. Her hips grinded down onto Ashton’s hard on, and her hands left his shoulders to grab onto Calum’s hair.

Whispering particularly low she said, “Both of you.” She removed her hands from Calum’s pretty curls and pulled her holey shirt over her head, and tossed it.

Ashton’s hands gripped her breasts harder, as he groaned loudly. “Fuck baby,” he panted. “Gonna make me cum if you keep doing that.”

Calum smirked at his friend. “She’s got you cumming like a virgin.” He laughed slightly.

“I’d like to see you do better,” Ashton said challengingly. He turned to Beata. “Can’t want to feel you around me, bet you feel so good.” His hands traveled down her stomach, and rested on her hips.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom,” Calum said. His hands took place of Ashton’s on her hips, and lifted her off of his lap.

As Calum carried Beata to her room, Ashton not too far behind the two, her hands were wrapped in Calum’s hair and were tugging lightly on his curls. A silent plead for him to hurry up.

He smiled against the skin of her neck. He turned the corner into her bedroom, and threw her onto the bed.

“Hands and knees sweet thing,” Ashton said. Beata hurriedly placed her hands on the bed, and lifted herself onto her knees.

She couldn’t tell whose fingers were digging into the waistline of her sweats, but at this point she didn’t care. Before she could even guess whose hands were on her, her sweats were dragged down her legs, along with her panties.

“God look at that ass Ash,” Calum said quietly. Hands touched her ass gently, and gripped the swell of it. One hand let go, and smacked her left cheek loudly.

Beata whimpered. They both let out breathless laughs at her neediness. “She’s so ready for us.” Ashton said to Calum. “You gonna get over here?”

Beata felt her wetness drip down her thighs. She heard a shuffling behind her, and the hands on her ass were replaced with hands much warmer. Beata felt a warm breath on her pussy, and she let out a gasp.

“God, can’t wait to taste you.” Calum groaned, and placed his mouth on her awaiting pussy.

“Fuck,” Beata moaned. “Feels so good, love your mouth.”

Ashton walked around her bed, and sat in front of Beata’s face. She didn’t even notice Ashton’s movement, he was removing his shirt and his pants, she was focused on Calum’s tongue on her cunt.

Calum was licking Beata’s clit, his nose brushing her opening. His hand that was placed in her ass, moved to her folds and slipped into her opening. His fingers quickly finding a pace that she liked, and were curling into her.

“Jesus fuck,” Beata cried out. “Cal - oh my God - please!” She didn’t know what she was asking for, but she knew she was enjoying his mouth on her cunt.

Ashton laid down in front of Beata’s face and grabbed her jaw, turning her to look at him. “Open your eyes doll.” She opened her eyes, and looked at Ashton, in all is glory. “Gonna suck me off, yeah?”

She nodded. Beata looked down at Ashton’s cock, and she saw it pulsing with his heartbeat. The tip was red and swollen, leaking precum that was trailing down his length. She leaned down, as Calum moaned into her pussy, and placed her lips around the tip.

She made sure to lightly drag her teeth along his tip, and it had him bucking off of the bed and thrusting his cock deeper into her mouth. She gagged lightly, and sucked on him harder. 

“Oh shit,” Ashton said, throwing his head back. His hands were in her hair in an instant. “Cal, her mouth feels so good.”

Calum hummed in response, not wanting his mouth, or fingers to leave her pussy just yet. His fingers had trailed out of her opening and were now teasing her clit with little figure eights. His tongue working its way into her.

He felt her jolt at the muscle that was opening her up. The one hand that was still on her ass smacked it. She groaned around Ashton’s cock, and Calum heard Ashton’s cries for her to get off his cock.

“If you keep sucking on me like that doll,” He had to pause to catch his breath. “It’s gonna make me cum.”

Calum moved away from her aching pussy, and chucked. “Told you,” He said before latching himself back onto her cunt. “She’s got you cumming like a virgin.”

“Oh fuck off,” Ashton replied.

Beata smiled slightly, but it was quickly replaced by a gasp. Calum’s fingers had plunged into her, at a painstakingly slow pace. “Please, Cal, please!” She cried out. Her walls were fluttering around Calum’s fingers, and she was nearing her end. “M’gonna cum.”

“Cum for me baby.” Calum said before placing his mouth on her clit. His tongue was sucking slightly with little licks.

She cried out, and came all over Calum’s face. “Oh god.” Her arms gave out, and she fell against the fabric of her blankets. Her orgasm was working it’s way through her body, and it left her feeling helpless. Calum’s mouth continued working on her until she was feeling needy again. Ashton lifted his head to look at Beata.

She was fucked for them. He smiled at Calum, who lifted his head from her pussy. Calum smiled back, before he removed his shirt.

“Can you take a couple more doll?” Ashton asked her. Beata nodded. “Good.” He kissed her lips softly. “Gonna wreck you.”

Behind her she heard the dropping of Calum’s shirt, and the unzipping of his pants. She shivered. She felt the bed dip down in front of her.

Warm hands gripped her jaw, and lips touched her own. Another pair of hands grabbed at her hips, and she waited as patiently as she could. Calum’s mouth moved fluidly with her own. His lips easily dominating hers.

“Good girl,” Ashton said from behind her. “Bet you’re gonna take me so well.” Ashton leaned down over her back, and kissed her shoulder blade.

Calum separated his lips from hers. Beata offered, “I’m on the pill.”

Both men groaned. “Tryina’ kill us, baby?” Calum asked. “Gonna kill me,” he sighed. “Know you are.”

Beata shook her head. “Jus’ tryin’ to get you both to fuck me.”

“Gonna fuck you so good, ‘kay doll?” Ashton told her. Beata nodded. She was so ready for them.

Ashton grabbed the base of his cock, and lined it up with her. Preparing himself with her wetness, he rubbed his tip against her opening, causing Beata to gasp in anticipation. He smiled slightly, and pushed himself in.

Ashton groaned out, “God, Cal she feels so good, so tight around me.” He had started thrusting into her slowly, wanting to build her up to the fucking she was about to receive. Her pussy was clenching around him every so often, and it would cause him to speed up just a tiny bit. “If you keep squeezing me, I’ll make it really hard for you to walk tomorrow.”

Beata was having a hard time controlling herself. All she wanted Ashton to do was to wreck her, but he was taking his time. She was half tempted to flip the two of them over, and ride him until she saw stars. But Calum had changed her mind pretty quickly.

He had laid down in a similar fashion as Ashton had, and his cock was right in front of her face. His too was pulsing with his heartbeat. Beata’s tongue rolled out of her mouth on it’s own accord, wanting to taste him. Calum had ahold of his base, and slapped it against the slick muscle.

His stomach tensed at the feeling. His eyes were closed when her mouth enveloped him. One hand shooting out to grab at the sheets, and the other moving from his base into her hair. The hand in her hair curled against her scalp, as her tongue swiped across the vein underneath his tip. “Ash, buddy,” Calum cried out, his hips bucking into Beata’s mouth. “Her mouth is so warm, so warm. Feels good, so good.”

Ashton laughed slightly. “Imagine how her pussy feels,” He replied. Ashton thrusted faster into her opening. Hearing her moan slightly around his best friends cock was enough to make him a little crazed. His hands that were previously on her hips moved to her lower back, and pushed her down into the mattress.

His hips were driving into her faster, and harder. “O-oh shit,” his hips stuttering slightly, her walls closing around him tighter and tighter. “Gonna make me cum.”

Beata had to release Calum’s cock from her mouth in order to cry out. She dug her fingers into Calum’s thighs, and he moaned at her fingers digging into his skin.

“God Ash,” She bit her lip. “Feels so good, so full.” Her words came out slurred, and breathless. “Filling me so good.” One of Ashton’s hands lifted from her lower back, and smacked her ass cheek.

She clenched around him at the pleasurable sting. He groaned, “Yeah? Like me filling you?” He leaned over her body. “Like me fucking you this good?” One of the hands on her lower back moved up her back and around to the front of her neck, and grasped it in his calloused hand.

All Beata could do was let out a strangled moan. Her hands needing something to hold one reached out and grabbed the sheet, while the other grabbed at Calum’s cock. Her hand stroking it, as he groaned into his arm.

He had flung it over his face once she had his cock in her hand. He wasn’t expecting it, and that made his muscles tense in his stomach. Her hand was nothing compared to her mouth, but with how worked up he was he was surprised he didn’t cum on the spot.

Ashton was so close to his end, and he could tell that Beata was as well. Her walls were clenching around him so deliciously, and he was having a hard time with holding himself back. He wanted to last long enough to feel her cum around him.

“C’mon doll, show Calum how pretty you look when you cum.” His hips were fucking into her faster now. “You gonna cum around me?” She was clenching around him so tightly that it was almost hard for him to continue fucking her, but it made every stroke of his cock in her walls feel better than the last.

Beata’s toes were curling, she was so close. “So close, Ash.” She moaned out. “Gonna cum, gonna make me cum.” She bowed her head as much as she could, seeing as Ashton’s hand was still on her throat. Her hips started to grind back into Ashton’s thrusts.

His thrusts were starting to stutter, his hands on her neck and hips started to squeeze her tighter. “Fuck, I’m cumming,” Ashton said into her ear.

Beata let out a loud moan at Ashton’s confession, and she came around him. “Oh God!” Her body was spasming, and within a few more thrusts, Ashton was cumming inside her. His hands let go of her body, and she fell forward onto the sheets. Her whimpers at being filled with Ashton’s body.

“Fuuuuuck,” It was long and drawn out. His hips stuttering a few times as his body calmed down from one of the most intense orgasms he’s ever had. “Shit,” He laughed as he pulled out. He leaned down and kissed a straight line across her shoulder blades. “You did so good for me doll.”

Beata nodded. She felt Ashton’s cum leaking down her thighs. She heard Ashton leave the room, and walk into the bathroom. He walked back in and cleaned up the mess he made of her cunt.

“Can you take one more?” Calum asked, genuinely concerned. He didn’t want to push her if she couldn’t take it.

Beata nodded again. “Want you too, Cal.”

Her words went straight to Calum’s cock. He was so hard for her. He groaned and fell back against the mattress.

Ashton was kissing her thighs, working her body up for Calum. He smiled against the softness of her skin as she shivered at his touch. When he felt she was worked up enough he kissed the swell of her ass once and stood from the bed.

“Lay on your back for Cal, doll.” Ashton said to her softly. “He’s gonna be gentle with you.”

Beata turned over on the bed, and pushed herself up to the pillows. She sat up from the pillows, and removed her bandeau, revealing her breasts.

Calum moved up to Beata, his hand stroking her leg softly. His mouth kissing her collarbones, and her neck just as gently. Beata’s hands were in his hair, and pulling his mouth to hers. His hand on her leg moved up the length of it fluidly, dragging it to her pussy.

His lips worked hers open, and his tongue was dancing with her own. His hand that was on her cunt was stroking her clit softly, not wanting to overwork her spent body.

The two didn’t even realize Ashton had left the room until he returned from the living room with his beer in hand. He sat in her chair in the corner, and was prepared to watch Calum fuck Beata softly, until she was screaming.

Beata’s body was so responsive to Calum, her hips moving against his hand slightly. Calum’s lips had trailed down her neck, until he found her sweet spot underneath her right collarbone. He was making a hickey there. “Ready for me, baby?”

“Mhm,” She moaned. “Need you Cal, need you so bad.” Her hips moved against his hand again, hoping he would get the idea and hurry up.

He chuckled at her impatience. “Give me a second, baby.” He moved his body so that he was hovering over her frame. He placed her legs at his waist. “Are you sure you’re ready fo’me?”

She nodded. “Please Cal,” Beata lifted her hips just a tiny bit, but enough to grind down on Calum’s leaking cock. “I’m so wet for you.”

“Fuck, alright baby.” One of his hands went down to grip her hip, while the other reached up and gripped the headboard. The hand on her hip moved to his cock, and he stroked it once before lining himself up with her entrance.

He entered her in one motion. They both let out satisfied groans of pleasure. “Jesus, Ash you were right, she feels so good around me.”

“Now who’s gonna cum like a virgin?” Ashton teased, while chuckling.

“Oh shut up.” Calum said, looking down at Beata who was giggling softly. He tested the waters, and thrusted into her slightly. This stopped her giggles, and her hands went straight to his back clawing at the skin.

She mewled against Calum’s neck. Pressing her body closer to his, wanting to be as close as possible.

He sped up his hips just a bit, still not wanting to overwork her. “God, feels so good,” He moaned into Beata’s neck. “Like you were made for me.”

Ashton scoffed in the background. ‘If I remember correctly, she fit around me pretty good.” Neither cared enough to notice is muttering. They were too wrapped up in each other.

“Love your cock,” Beata cried out as Calum’s thrusts picked up in speed and force. “Please, Cal, please, need you so fuck me harder!” She was whining, and did not want to come off as desperate, but at the moment, she didn’t care.

“Yeah?” he said. “Think you’re ready for that?” His teeth nipped at her flesh as his hips rutted into her. “Ready for me to fuck you good?”

“So ready Cal,” She blubbered. “So ready for you.” Her words sparked something primal in him. He lifted her legs onto his shoulders, and put both his hands on the back of her thighs.

Beata didn’t care about the slight burn in her legs, not when she was getting fucked so good. Her hands reached behind her to the headboard, so she wouldn’t hit her head on the lacquered wood.

Her moans were coming out everytime he rammed into her, and Calum ate them all up. The coil in his stomach ready to burst. Her walls were fluttering around him, and it took everything in him to hold back his orgasm.

Beata was the same. Calum’s cock moving inside her so deliciously. One of her hands moved from the headboard to Calum’s curls, her fingers waving themselves into his hair, and tugging lightly at the ends.

He groaned. “Gonna come for me baby?” His hips fucking into her faster. “Fuck, so tight.” He groaned into her neck.

“I’m cumming Cal,” She whispered. “So close, so close.” Beata bit her lip. Her toes curling at the the coil in her abdomen about to burst.

Calum adjusted himself on his knees, her legs still over his shoulders, and he buried himself deeper into Beata. His hands on the top of her thighs, as he pounded into her pussy. Calum hit a particular spot in Beata, that had her crying out with her orgasm. “Calum!” Her hands flew out in front of her, and grabbed Calum’s hair, tugging harder this time around. Beata pulled Calum down to her lips, and kissed him feverishly.

“Oh shit,” Calum groaned after he moved away from her lips. “Feels so good, I’m cumming.”

Calum’s hips stuttered, and his cock twitched as he came inside of Beata. Beata’s hands that were previously tugging at Calum’s curls, were now running through them. The two looked at each other after they calmed down, and laughed.

Beata leaned up, and pressed her lips to Calum’s. Calum moved her legs off his shoulders, and moved closer to kiss her deeper. He pulled out from Beata, using the towel that Ashton had used to clean her up.

Saturday Night 9:56 p.m

“Alright,” Ashton said. “Now that we’ve got that out of our systems, what do we want to watch?” He was dressed in his boxers.

Calum laughed. “Mate, I think it’s best if we just went to bed. I’m sure Beata over here is tired.” He looked down at her, seeing that she was already asleep.

Ashton looked at her too. “That’s alright. You think she’ll mind if we stay the night?”

“Dude, we just fucked her into oblivion. I don’t think she’ll care all too much.” Calum replied, climbing into bed on one side of Beata.

Ashton didn’t want to just climb into bed without permission from Beata, but it’s not like he could wake her up and ask her. She’d probably sleep like the dead. He carefully laid on the other side of Beata.

Calum and Beata were already cuddling, all he did was turn over and wrap his arms around Beata’s other side. “Bro, why are you so warm?” Ashton asked Calum.

“The ladies love my warm hands.” He replied.

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.”

“Fuck off.”

[lovemesomerafael]

Cinderella of Chicago             Chapter 1:  The Ball

His outfit was sheer genius. The wings could actually lift and wave, and fold back to their resting position smoothly and silently.  They worked on servos he’d spent way too much for, but it was worth it.  You couldn’t even see him toggle the switch that controlled them, because it fit perfectly within his palm.  Brilliant.

Not only that, but the workmanship on the suit itself was perfect.  His Baba had asked no questions, just taken the pictures he’d given her, drawn up a pattern, and sewed holy hell out of it.  It fit like a glove and made him look pretty damn good, if he did say so himself.  He’d had to make a few concessions here and there on fabric and trim, mostly because the real suit was undoubtedly butter-soft leather that cost about a million dollars a yard, but he’d done superbly there, too.  Well worth the number of days off he’d spent haunting every fabric store in greater Chicago.  

Which is why Brian Zvonecek could not be blamed for maniacally bouncing his foot and checking the clock every seven seconds as he sat ignoring the morning talk show on the common room TV, waiting for this shift at Firehouse 51 to end.  When ChicagoCon started in approximately three hours, he planned to be there, and he planned to be the best Sumendi anyone had ever seen. Including, hopefully, Anthony Lang, the guy who actually played Sumendi in all three movies, and was going to be on a panel talking about the upcoming movie that would have all the Planetary Saviors in it.  Brian couldn’t wait.  

************

At this stage of her nursing career, not much bothered Meg Armstrong, but this was a bunch of shit.  Literally, the largest amount of feces she’d ever seen, which had issued from a homeless woman who had come in to Chicago Med’s Emergency Room after not being able to “go boom-boom” (her phrase) for a week.  Well, they’d solved that problem.  And now, here was Meg, four years of college and fifty thousand dollars in student loans later, dealing with the aftermath of their success.    

At least her shift was almost over.  The minute she had Mrs. Carlsberg cleaned out and cleaned up, she could, at long last, catch the El to her friend Karen’s apartment where the girls were meeting to get ready for ChicagoCon.  After all the planning and all the work to make it, Meg was dying to put on all the pieces of her Tabiti costume and hit Rosemont.  

 ************

The hall was huge. Actually, if Brian was being honest with himself, it was a little overwhelming.  Half of Chicago was here, and a good third of them were in costume.  He’d get used to the crowd, and the more people in costume the better, because he knew he looked good.  He’d already lost count of the number of people who’d asked for permission to take his picture, or to be in selfies with him.  He graciously agreed every time, while his roommate Joe Cruz rolled his eyes and made annoyed faces.  Well, Cruz could be getting this kind of attention if he’d chosen to dress up, but he’d absolutely refused.  So there he was, wearing a T-shirt and jeans and absolutely invisible next to Brian.

“C’mon, Otis, we’re not gonna get a good place in line for the panel.”

Brian accepted yet another high five on his costume and joined Cruz for the short walk to join the throng in front of the doors to the main auditorium.  The panel wasn’t for another hour at least, but if they didn’t get in line now, they’d have lousy seats.  Brian wanted to be sure to get great pictures and – although he didn’t admit it to Cruz – he hoped someone on the panel would notice that he was looking crazy good as Sumendi.  

For the next hour, Brian and Cruz stood cheek by jowl with an odiferous mass of Planetary Saviors fans, many in costume.  There were a fair number of Sumendis, but none that could approach Brian’s costume, even without the real, working wings.  Unfortunately, there weren’t many women in the vicinity of Brian and Cruz to make the wait more enjoyable.  There were a few mediocre Tabitis and one group of all the female Planetary Saviors, but they were all too young to be interesting.  

Being taller, Cruz could see further into the crowd.  He mentioned a few particularly cool costumes, but Brian couldn’t see them.  It would be easier to check out the costumes when they were released from the horde into the auditorium.  For now, he was stuck among a mostly-male group of younger fans, all of whom smelled like they needed either a shower or a lesson in moderation when applying Axe body spray.  He wished he was wearing his SCBA apparatus.  It would’ve ruined the look of his costume, of course, but no one could really see it in this crush, anyway.  

At last, the doors opened and Brian and Cruz were propelled into the auditorium by a suddenly frenzied mob, having all they could do to keep upright.  But they had a plan.  Cruz was pretty big, and could use his arms and elbows to basically swim through the crowd. All Brian had to do was stay tucked right behind him, and Cruz would get them to the front.  Which he did with a minimum amount of elbowing teenagers and a very clever “accidental” de-helmeting of a Boba Fett.  

 ***************

Meg and her friends were not as successful, mostly because they didn’t have a plan beyond “get great seats”, and they didn’t feel like waiting in a huge, jostling melee for the auditorium doors to open.  Still, they got in for the panel and had seats.  They counted that as success, especially since all five women were seated together. Karen was determined to get to ask Ken Terhune, who played Sumendi’s wicked brother, Adranos, a question.  He was so hot, she was sure she would have an instant orgasm if he actually spoke to her, and she was going to do whatever it took to make that happen.  

The first thing she’d done to get his attention was to come dressed as Afi, wife of Adranos.  Another thing she’d done was to make sure that her boobs looked spectacular in her Afi costume.  Not that much of her boobs were in her Afi costume, but that was kind of the point.  

While they waited for the panel to start, the women looked around the auditorium, admiring all the costumes and looking for cute guys.   Liz saw one cute guy, right down front, in a really great Sumendi costume.  She elbowed Meg and pointed.  

“Look over there! That guy’s Sumendi is almost as good as your Tabiti!  You should totally get a picture with him,” Liz told Meg.  

“Whoa!  That is a good costume.  He’s cute, too.  But I’m not going down there.  What would I say?  ‘Hey, dude, I see we’re dressed as a couple, so let’s get our pictures taken together?’  I’d die of embarrassment.”

“Then I’ll say it.  You look really good, and it doesn’t look like he has a Tabiti with him.  Come on.”

“Not happening, Liz. Thanks, though.  Hey, look over there.  Is that dude supposed to be a zombie from The Walking Dead?”

“I don’t think so.  I think he just needs to eat some vegetables or something.”

“Unfortunate.”

“Highly.”

 *******************

“Cruz, Cruz… look at that Tabiti up there!”

“Whoa, dude, she’s checkin’ you out, too.  You should go meet her.”

“I can’t go meet her – we gotta… protect these seats.”

“You’re such a weenie, Otis.”

“Are you really willing to give up these primo seats just to -  Oh! They’re starting!”

 **************

The panel was awesome. Nobody on the panel said anything about Brian’s outstanding costume, but he was sure they saw him.  Both Brian and Cruz were hoping to get picked to ask their questions, which would have given Brian a perfect opportunity to show off his Sumendi wings, but that didn’t happen, either.  Still, it was a great panel.  Well worth the hassle of getting in and getting these seats.

After the panel, it was time to cruise the main exhibition hall.  That was going to take some time and coordination, because Anthony Lang was going to be signing autographs and taking pictures at three O’clock, and Brian had pre-paid for his photo op.  He was not going to miss out on that.  Cruz had thought that the $75 price tag was too high, but that was ridiculous.  How could you put a price on getting your picture taken with the real Sumendi?  

 ***********

Meg and her friends needed a break after the excitement of the panel.  They’d do the Exhibition Hall, but right now coffee was a must.  Karen was bummed that she didn’t get to ask her question, and that Ken Terhune hadn’t commented on her Afi costume (or her boobs). But they all thought a little caffeine would fix her right up.  

They’d been right, and for a while, they’d had a great time shopping the booths and checking out the costumes.  But after lunch, Susan and Lita were getting a little tired of the Con.  The others wouldn’t say it out loud, of course, until after they’d gone home, but Susan and Lita weren’t really “fans” so much as just there for the experience itself.  Maybe Susan and Lita wouldn’t even understand that was an insult.  But best not to say it out loud anyway.  

“Come on, you guys, we’re only halfway done with the Hall!  We’re never gonna see everything if we take another break,” Meg urged, pulling on Lita’s arm.

“We’re getting smoothies. We’ll meet you after.  We know the pattern you’re following around the Hall, we’ll just find you.”  And just like that, Susan and Lita ducked into the crowd and were gone, leaving Meg, Karen, and Liz (wearing a Sumendi T-shirt, which was closer to being in costume than her friends had thought they’d get) to shop the rest of the booths.  

The next booth they came to sold nothing but hoodies – from traditional ones printed with pictures and logos from all sorts of fantasy franchises to ones with attachments on the hoods that made you look like your favorite character.  They spent a long time looking through them all, especially trying to find one with Adranos’s crown in Karen’s size.  They were ultimately successful, and she waited in line to pay more than Meg ever would have for it.  Liz continued to hunt through every hoodie with a Dr. Who theme, afraid she would miss The One if she didn’t look at every single one to make sure she hadn’t missed a design.

Meg’s feet were starting to hurt in Tabiti’s signature stiletto-heeled red boots, so she took the opportunity to lean against one side of the booth so she could stand on one foot at a time, giving the other a rest.  

“That is an outstanding costume,” a voice at her ear said.  

Meg turned to face the cute guy in the really good Sumendi costume they had seen at the panel.  

“Oh, hi,” she stammered, immediately embarrassed at the overzealous squeal in her voice.  “Yours is great, too.  I saw you, at the panel.  It’s really… great.”  Could I be more of an idiot?  

“Thanks.  Your headpiece is awesome.  Isn’t that heavy?”  He asked. They had to practically shout to be heard over the jostling, milling throng hemming them in.  But it was worth it.  Brian couldn’t believe his luck finding the Tabiti they’d seen at the panel, who was even cuter up close.  

“It isn’t that bad,” Meg answered, self-consciously touching her headpiece and knocking a shower of glitter onto her shoulder.  “It’s papier-mâché, mostly.  So not that heavy.  You can, you know, touch it.  If you want.”

Brian touched Meg’s headpiece, knocking on it a little with his finger.  “Wow.  I’d swear it was metal, from a distance.”  From a distance?  Nice one, moron.  She’s gonna punch you.

“Thanks.  What did you use for the red streaks in your hair?”

“That?  That’s natural.”

Meg laughed, but then began to cough as she inhaled a bit of spit down the wrong tube.  Oh, for fuck’s sake.  Kill me now.  You, Aquaman over there, if you could just impale me with your trident, that would be great.  He’s gonna think I have fucking tuberculosis.  

The problem was that he had smiled.  This Sumendi, who was pretty cute to begin with, and had made a very funny joke, had smiled after he said it.  And his smile was… electrifying.  He had gorgeous, white teeth and, with his dark hair and dark eyes, and the little moustache and soul patch he wore (which Meg usually hated), it was just… well, it was enough to make her choke on her own spit like the gargoyle she was.  

He patted her on the back. “You gonna be OK?  I’m a firefighter.  If you need CPR, just say the word.”  

Meg flapped her hands around, trying to signal that she would be OK, and desperately tried to control her cough.  She could feel the tears smearing her mascara and knew for a fact her face was beet red. Yeah.  Some Tabiti.  She’s supposed to hold Sumendi spellbound with her charms, which I’m dead certain don’t involve hacking up a lung at his feet.  

“I’m…  I’m OK…”  Meg choked. The taller guy behind Sumendi handed her a bottle of water, which she gratefully accepted.  He was kind of cute, too, she noticed.  The water helped.

“I’m sorry.”  Meg covered her face with her hand.  “I just… something went down the wrong way, I don’t know…”

“As long as you’re OK.” Sumendi was looking at her with a sort of serious expression.  That looked good on him, too.  Did he say he was a firefighter?  Meg really, really liked firefighters.

“Yeah, yeah.  I’m fine.  Thanks for the water,” she said to the taller guy, handing back the bottle.

“Keep it.  Just in case,” he said, smiling.  “Hey, would you mind if we got a picture of you guys? You know, together?”

Sumendi smiled again. “Yeah, that would be great!”  

Meg was still working to calm her spasming trachea, and knew what her makeup must now look like.  “I’d like that, but…  Can I just…”  She pointed to a mirror in the jewelry booth next to the hoodie booth.  

“Oh, sure!”  Sumendi said excitedly.  Could I sound more like a fourteen-year-old?  Damn it!

Meg went over to the next booth, bending down to survey the damage to her eye makeup.  It was bad.  She pulled her small backpack off her shoulder and rummaged inside.  People kept bumping against her in the overcrowded Exhibition Hall, making her work much harder.  She was eventually pushed over to the other side of the booth, where there was another mirror.  She had to wipe a lot of smeared mascara off her cheeks, which messed up the rest of her makeup, which meant she had to re-do that, too, before she could re-apply her mascara.  It took a solid five minutes, with added time to deal with all the pushes and shoves from the crowd and those wanting to get closer to use the mirror themselves to try on jewelry.

“You ready to go on?” Meg heard Karen’s voice at her elbow. She looked up, surprised.  

“Oh, well, we’re gonna get a picture together, me and Sumendi.”  She looked over to where Sumendi and his friend had been, but couldn’t see them in the seething crowd.  

“What Sumendi?”

“The cool one, the one we saw at the panel.  They were right there-“

Liz stepped up beside Karen. “They didn’t have any good Dr. Who shirts.  Let’s go.”

“No, but… wait-“

“Meg, I don’t see any Sumendi around here.  Maybe he bailed.”

“He didn’t bail!  They were right there!”  She moved toward the hoodie booth as best she could, but there were so many people crowded around it was difficult to maneuver.  Pushing a bit, she got further into the walkway but couldn’t see Sumendi or his friend.  

“Damn!  They’re gone.”

Karen and Liz hustled Meg along to the next booth.  They still had a lot of ground to cover.  Meg was crushed.  That Sumendi had been really cute.  And he said he was a firefighter.  And that smile!  

Meanwhile, Brian and Cruz had been shoved into the hoodie booth, and were trying to get back to the walkway, but it was taking forever.  Finally, Joe used his elbow-swim move to escape the booth, with Brian in tow. By the time they got out to the walkway, Tabiti was nowhere in sight.  Brian sighed. He had really liked the deep copper color of her hair, especially with her green eyes.  Plus, she’d remembered him from the panel!    

 ****************

“OK, this is where I leave you,” Cruz announced as Brian joined the line for his picture with Anthony Lang.  It was only two thirty, but he wanted to be sure to get his picture and autograph.  

“You sure, Cruz?  This is Anthony Lang we’re talking about.”

“I know, but I’m not paying seventy-five bucks for a picture with a dude I can see in a movie for less than twenty.  You’re crazy. I’m going back in, to finish the Exhibition Hall.”

“Fine.  You’re missing out.”  

Cruz gave a little wave and disappeared into the crowd, just missing colliding with Meg as she maneuvered through the crush of people to join the line for pictures and autographs with Anthony Lang.  Looking around, she figured out where the end of the line was and stepped up behind the last person, who happened to have a really good Sumendi costume –

“Hey!  It’s you!”  Brian greeted Meg, again giving her that blinding smile.  She blinked a bit, momentarily confused by his sudden reappearance and by the effect that smile had on her.

“Oh, hi!  We got separated.  I’m sorry, I really wanted to have a picture with you.”  

“Yeah, so did I.  But we can do it now.  You know, if you want.”

Meg’s face fell a little. “I’d like that.  I guess you’ll have to text it to me, though, because my phone died.”

Now Brian’s face fell. “You are not going to believe this.”

“What?”

“I don’t have a phone, either.   I gave it to my roommate, because there’s no place for it in my costume, and I didn’t want to be bothered with it.  He has it in his jacket.”

Just Brian’s luck.  Here he was, looking great as Sumendi, with a long wait ahead next to the best Tabiti he’d seen at the Con, who seemed genuinely excited to have their picture taken together, and neither of them had a phone. His choices were laugh or cry.  Or swear a blue streak, he supposed, but he didn’t know this girl and she seemed really nice.  Maybe she would be turned off if he swore.  But he was brutally disappointed.  

Meg laughed, so Brian joined her.  She was no more thrilled than he was not to have a camera, but maybe they could find her friends, or his, when they were done with Anthony Lang.  Or maybe they could get a picture taken in the booth with Anthony Lang.  That would be really cool.  In any event, she was pretty happy to get to spend the next hour or so with this cute Sumendi while they waited.  They were going to get a chance to actually talk.  To get to know each other.  She wondered whether he was single.  She also wondered, based on the excellent craftsmanship of his costume and his obvious closeness to the guy he’d called his “roommate”, whether he was straight.  She really hoped so.

“I’m Brian, by the way,” he introduced himself.

“Meg.”

“Meg.  Nice name.”

“Short for Margaret. Call me Margaret and you’ll get Tabiti’s scepter up your nose.”

Brian held up his hands. “Meg it is.  That tip looks like it could do some real damage.”  

Meg smiled and took a look at the tip of her scepter, which had a lampwork glass flame at the end.  It was fairly pointed.  “Just letting you know the rules.”

“That scepter is great. You’re really talented.  How’d you make that?”

Meg explained the rather simple process of fabricating the scepter.  The basic idea wasn’t too complicated; she’d started with an old baton. But she made Brian laugh with her story of the lengthy and heated negotiations she’d had to conduct with the friend who made the tip.  

The friend, Alice, made lampwork beads, which was a fairly expensive hobby that required a great deal of practice to master.  Besides that, the flame tip had to be both intricate - woven of several different colors of glass - and strong enough to withstand whatever abuse it would get at the Con.  Alice’s initial price had been far too steep for Meg to afford, so Meg had offered to clean Alice’s apartment in addition to paying what cash she could.  No deal. Meg had added a week of cat sitting, but still the price was more than she could pay.  In the end, Alice had agreed to accept the price Meg offered, along with the apartment cleaning and cat sitting, plus one more, hideous cost.  

Alice had a cousin named Harold.  Harold’s mother, Alice’s aunt, was very concerned that Harold, who was going on twenty, hadn’t met the right girl yet.  Alice’s aunt kept pressuring Alice to set Harold up.  So Meg had ended up having to accept a date with Harold.  

There was a reason Harold hadn’t met the right girl.  Several, in fact.  First and foremost, Harold had the worst breath Meg had ever experienced.  He was also extremely shy, but only at first. Once the lights had gone down in the movie theater, suddenly he was all hormones and hands, and Meg had spent the next two hours ignoring the movie in favor of fending off almost-continual frontal assaults.  

In the end, the guy behind them in the theater had actually leaned forward and hissed to Harold, “Dude, even I can see you’re not gonna get there with her.  Give it up and let’s all leave with what little dignity we have left.”

After the movie, Harold had taken Meg to a bar he said he frequented.  Meg was completely uninterested in Harold, but after what she’d been through, she was very interested in a drink, so she’d agreed.  “They know me here,” Harold said proudly.  

They didn’t know him there. And, apparently, he didn’t know them, either, because the bar’s clientele, while sparse, was mostly female, and entirely gay.  When they had their drinks (Meg didn’t usually do shots, but it was an emergency), Harold had once again begun relentlessly trying to grope her.  Meg was usually a very nice person, but she’d had enough. So she said, quite loudly, “Listen, I have asked you more than once to stop trying to touch me like that.  No means no.  Knock it off.”

Harold was very unceremoniously escorted from the bar by a lovely woman named Bud.  Meg had enjoyed getting to know Bud over a few drinks, and they’d had a few laughs at Harold’s expense, but Meg was honest about her preferences when Bud handed over her phone number.  Bud didn’t seem to mind that Meg wasn’t planning to call, which Meg actually found pretty attractive.  She kept Bud’s number.  She didn’t even mind having to pay for the cab home.

Brian liked that story a lot.  He had really appreciated the opportunity to simply stand there, listening to Meg and appreciating the way her green eyes sparkled when she smiled, and the cute way her nose wrinkled when she laughed.  Meg was funny, and Brian especially liked that the story indicated quite clearly that she wasn’t seeing anyone.  Which, of course, was part of Meg’s reason for telling it, in addition to introducing the topic of lesbians in hopes that Brian would share something that would let her know which team he played for.  

“Now it’s your turn to tell me an embarrassing story about you,” Meg invited.  

“The problem with that is there are so many choices,” Brian mused.  “Stuff seems to… happen to me.”  He hemmed and hawed for a few moments.  He needed to find a story that would let her know that he, too, was single, and preferably one that also reminded her (in case she’d missed it the first time) that he was a firefighter.  Women loved firefighters.  

“Well, there was this one time on a fire – did I mention I’m a firefighter? – when this really, really huge guy was stuck in a hammock.  We never did learn why he had a hammock in his living room, but…”  

Brian told a very funny story that ended with the man being rescued (if not very gracefully) and the man wanting to reward Brian with a date with his sister.  He had tried valiantly to get out of the “reward”, explaining to the man that it wasn’t necessary, and that it was really a little frowned upon for firefighters to be rewarded for just doing their jobs.  Baked goods or something, sure, but…  Brian had been entirely unable to talk the man out of it. The entire firehouse had given him endless shit about it, because all of them imagined the sister as, basically, the brother in drag.  

Until she showed up at the firehouse for their date and was one of the most beautiful women any of them had ever seen.  

“So?  Did you marry her and live happily ever after?”  Meg asked, laughing (on the outside, at least – she was finding that she cared more by the moment whether he liked girls).  

“I’m afraid not,” Brian answered with a cute twist of his lips.  “She was about two feet taller than I am, and she was, um…  let’s just say we should set her up with your friend’s cousin.  They’d never be heard from again.”

“I thought guys liked women with, um, an appetite.”  

“Well, sure, to a point.  But that one… I don’t think I want to marry a woman if I’d be afraid to fall asleep around her.”

They both enjoyed a long moment of laughter.  Hmmm. So he’s single and apparently straight. Well, well.  

The conversation moved on to the Planetary Saviors.  For quite some time, Brian and Meg enjoyed talking about what they liked – and didn’t like – about the Sumendi movies thus far and what they hoped to see in the new movie that would include all of the Planetary Saviors.  The fun of that conversation was that they didn’t always agree – Brian thought Sumendi’s look in the movies was nowhere near as good as in the original comics, while Meg had to admit to not having read the comics themselves.  Somehow, whether because they were intentionally trying to humor one another due to their mutual attraction, or because they really didn’t mind, they found that their differences actually made them see the Planetary Saviors universe just a bit differently than they had.  Rather than being annoyed, they were each favorably impressed with the other’s slightly different take on the franchise.    

“Sumendi’s made of fire, right?  I mean, he’s basically the son of a volcano, so why doesn’t he have any glow to him? In the comics, he does.  He has a sort of inner light that makes him look sort of… molten inside, you know?”

Since Meg hadn’t seen the comics, they borrowed some comic books and a couple of artists’ renderings that people around them in line had purchased at the Con.  She saw Brian’s point.  He liked that she was interested in his thoughts, and was especially impressed when she began to think out loud about ways he could make his costume have that same lit-from-within quality.  

“That’s genius!”  He cried.  “I would never have thought of that.  I’m going to-“

The crowd noise, which had been fairly deafening, suddenly ceased entirely as the air was split by a scream.  All eyes turned in the direction it had come from, behind and to the left of the booth at which Brian and Meg were waiting for Anthony Lang.  A knot of people were standing around a woman on the floor, but the thick crowd had parted so that there was a few feet between the people with the woman and the staring mass just beyond.  The woman on the ground was jerking violently and appeared to be very pregnant.  

“She’s seizing,” Meg cried as she slipped quickly under the ropes that demarcated the line she and Brian had been in.  Running over to the woman, Meg dropped her belongings as she knelt on the floor beside her.  She reached out and took the woman by the shoulders, helping her to turn onto her side, and was surprised to find Brian kneeling next to her, bending one of the woman’s legs so that she rolled smoothly and easily.  

Meg whipped off her Tabiti headpiece and set it on the floor next to her, beginning to assess the woman quickly.  She determined that she was breathing shallowly and irregularly as she seized, and had a strong pulse.

“Who’s with her?” Brian asked loudly, using a tone that instantly commanded attention.  

“We are – she’s my sister. This is her husband,” a thin, terrified-looking woman in a pretty bad SuperGirl costume answered, pointing out the blank-faced teenager next to her.

While Meg commandeered a sweatshirt from a bystander to put under the woman’s head, Brian continued to ask the right questions.  

“What happened?”

“She just…  fell down.  She started jerking like this and she won’t wake up!”  

“How far along is she?”

“She’s thirty two weeks,” the sister answered.  “What’s wrong with her?  What’s happening?”

Brian looked at Meg, who almost imperceptibly shook her head.  

“We’re going to figure that out.  Who has a phone?”

Brian pointed to the first person whose brandishing of a cell phone caught his attention.  “OK, you.  Call 911.  Stand right here next to me, and when you get them on the line, put them on speaker. You-“ he pointed to a spray-tanned Superman.  “Go get help. Security, anyone with a walkie-talkie. Tell them what’s happening and get us whatever medical equipment they have here.”

The woman appeared to have stopped seizing for the moment.  Meg looked at the teenager who had been identified as the woman’s husband. “Talk to me, Dad.  What medical problems does she have?”

“N-n-nothing.  She’s been fine.”

“Has she ever had a seizure before?”

“No!  What’s wrong with her?”

“What medications does she take?”

“Nothing.  Prenatal vitamins.”

Meg took her pulse at her wrist again, and then felt for her pulse at her throat.  She leaned toward Brian and muttered quietly, “Her pulse is bounding – we’ll know more when we can get a BP, but I’m thinking eclampsia.”

“That woulda been my guess. Pregnant, seizing…  You a doctor?”

“RN.  We need help.”

“It’s on its way.  For the moment, it’s you and me.”  He looked up at the person he’d asked to call 911. “What’s the holdup?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t have much of a signal in here…”

Sharply exhaling in exasperation, Brian looked up at another person who was holding a phone and appeared to be filming the incident.  “You. Call 911.  And nobody else better be filming.  This woman has the right to privacy, same as you.”  

The second person got through immediately and handed Brian the phone.  He put it on speaker and, as Meg fed him information, he relayed it to the 911 operator.  They worked smoothly together, and Brian had time to notice the expertise with which Meg worked with the woman, who was beginning to regain consciousness.  They were both experienced first responders, so their teamwork was not entirely surprising, but there was also an element of natural communication between them.  They’d gravitated to their roles in this situation without thought or discussion.

Meg reached up and unclasped her cape.  Brian caught the movement and immediately understood.  He helped her remove it and cover the woman with it, then removed his own (which was a little more difficult due to the wings) and put that over her, too.  For the next five minutes, they did what they could to make the woman comfortable while Meg got as much medical history as possible and monitored her vital signs.  Then the woman began to seize again, and they kept her safe while she thrashed and jerked, making sure she didn’t hit her head and getting people to give them extra clothing so that they could keep something soft between her spasming limbs and the hard floor.  

Brian leaned in to Meg. “This is lasting too long.”

“Yeah.  And she’s stopped breathing.  As soon as she stops seizing, we need to be ready to do CPR.”

“Got it.”  

At that moment, three people came running through the crowd, pushing their way into the circle around the woman with cases of emergency equipment.  They were all EMTs stationed at the facility for the event, so Meg moved aside and reported to them that she was an RN and Brian was a firefighter, and told them what they knew so that the EMTs could take over.  She wondered what was taking the ambulance so long, since there were two hospitals within minutes of the facility, but she thought she was probably just dealing with the distorted sense of time that comes with an emergency.

“Do you have any medications in your kits?” She asked the EMT who appeared to be leading the team.

“No.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, don’t get me started.”  

“She seems to be coming out of it, and I think she’s breathing again.  Want me to get a BP?”

“Nah, I got it.  But thanks.”  

Not long afterward, the sound of a siren was clearly heard, even over the sound of the mob that was now getting back into the swing of the Con.  A fair number of people were still huddled around the scene, watching, but the circle around them was only a few people deep now, since beyond that, no one could really see anything.  The rest had decided to go back to their shopping.  As the ambulance crew hurried through the Hall, Brian could follow their progress fairly accurately by the disturbance in the throng.  He began to back people up so that the paramedics could get through with the gurney.  

The ambulance crew was one he didn’t know.  Their arrival caused quite a bit of excitement and hubbub in the area, and Brian lost track of Meg in the group of milling, pushing people.  He wasn’t needed to help lift the woman onto the gurney, so he stepped back a bit and tried to control the crowd, to give the paramedics as much room as he could get them in the press of curious gawkers.  Soon, the woman had been given some medication to stop her seizures, and the gurney carrying her was rushed from the scene, her sister and teenage husband in tow.  

The crowd flowed back together as though they had never been there, except for Meg’s Tabiti headpiece, which Brian saw on the floor and picked up.  He found himself unable to resist the tide of movement, and was swept closer to the booth where he was supposed to be having his picture taken with Anthony Lang.  He didn’t see Meg anywhere.  Without her Tabiti headpiece on, it was impossible to identify her head among the seeming thousands around him.  

He thought she would probably make for the booth again, though, so he fought his way over to it, only to see a large sign:

Anthony Lang Appearance Cancelled For Today.

The sign gave a website people could go to in order to try to reschedule or get refunds.  Meg wasn’t there.  

Brian carried Meg’s headpiece under his arm as he looked everywhere in the huge Exhibition Hall over the next hour.  There were simply too many people, moving in too many directions, and the Hall was just too big.  Meg was nowhere to be found.  All he had to prove she had been real was the papier-mâché headpiece she’d worn as part of her costume.

[effyoutrav]

I’ll get the lights on the way out.

On this, the last day before Tumblr turns into something completely different, I give you a lot of my thoughts.

I created this blog in March of 2010 under the first of many names -- effyoutrav begat futureslick, which begat whatwouldtravisdo, which begat travsucks, which begat bronamicode. This, surprisingly enough, started as a passion project of mine: I was going to watch every movie on the AFI list of 100 greatest American films (both versions) and review them, one by one. Obviously, my thoughts on American filmmaking in 2010 became the ramblings and photo journal of a kid in love in late 2010, then again in 2015, then again in 2017, before settling into a repository of butt pics, vine compilations, and non-sequitur memes-slash-general bullshit.

This blog, over the course of eight and a half years, has seen me go from the 23-year-old kid in the first two pics above (my first two Tumblr selfies!) to the...whatever the hell you wanna call the 32-year-old in these last two pics. Apparently all I’ve learned is to lean my head in the other direction for a selfie. Along the way, I’ve moved from western Maryland to Boston, gone back to school, switched careers, come out of the closet, dated three guys, gone through four breakups, and made a lot of friends.

That latter bit is the most important to me. Through the wonders of this here website, I’ve met and befriended so many amazing people. From New Mexico to Ohio, Michigan to Baltimore, Houston to right here in Boston, I can’t put into words how thankful I am for the friends I’ve made because of Tumblr. And hey, maybe that’ll continue through other social media means! Just because this avenue will be a lot different doesn’t mean everything else will.

And hey, a lot of my growth is because of the guys I’ve dated, and a solid amount of that had to do with this site as well. I know I’ve had (and caused) my fair share of heartbreak, but I also had a lot of really fucking amazing times and a *lot* of personal growth. Paul might read this since we’re back to friendly terms but to Brett and Kyle, if you ever end up stumbling upon this: thanks for helping me be the guy I am today. I wish you all nothing but the best.

When we were together, Brett introduced me to what has become my favorite webcomic ever: A Softer World. It’s the perfect blend of nihilism, nostalgia, wistfulness, and wit -- it’s honestly a creepily-close window into my stream of consciousness. On their last official day (http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=1243) back in 2016, the text went “The sun is shining/and the birds are singing/and because today is the very last day/they will sing forever.”

So, with that, this will be my final post on Tumblr. It’s been a good run, but I think it’s time to let the birds sing forever. I’ll probably leave this up for posterity’s sake for a while -- it did, after all, take a few years after my final LiveJournal entry to finally take it off the internet -- but this is gonna be it for me with regard to new material. I think I’ve said enough.

From, simultaneously, the closeted weirdo of 2010 and the snarky overconfident weirdo of 2018: Thanks for the follows, the messages, the reblogs, the likes, the love, the friendships, the laughs, the emotions, and everything else. Mostly, though: thanks for being completely fucking awesome, you guys.

Trav

insta: thetraviskingexperience

twitter: effyoutrav

switch: SW-0457-5409-7790

pokemon go: 9207 7673 7986

psn: thegood_tk

xbox live: theTKexperience

[poppyssupergirl]

Puppy Problems

@the-queen-of-the-light is my baboo and I love her and today is her birthday!!!!!! Happy birthday you beautiful human!!! I hope it is gay and good, just like you!!! It has been nearly a whole year since we really got to talking and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, so take a lil story about our favorite baby on the day you graced this planet with your presence! 

(You can also read it on AO3 if you prefer) 

“Sir…?”

“What is it Agent Homes?”

“We might have a … uh… problem?”

The golden puppy woofed up at him happily. The cape over her back slid further off with every wag of her tail. The other, black puppy growled and yanked at the ops clothes still hanging from her frame.

The agent sighed, it was going to be a long night for everyone.

J’onn twitched. He would not kill his entire platoon, he would not kill his entire platoon, he would not…

“Woof!”

He was going to have to dress up as Supergirl, again. 

He looked down at the golden lab, with her front paws on his leg, and reached out to pat Kara on the head. Kara woofed, gently, and nuzzled into his lap.

This did not make up for this catastrophe. Alex, a black lab at this time, hunkered next to his left side, growling at any who came near. J’onn gave her a pat too.

“We’ll get this figured out soon, Agent Danvers.” Alex just looked forlornly up at him with true puppy-dog eyes. J’onn stopped himself from scritching under her chin. Martian or not, he’d probably lose a hand.

Kara decided now was a good time to leap away from him and bound toward the doctors coming to examine them. J’onn sighed as she happily accepted any and all scritches she could get. He could hear Alex’s thoughts.

They weren’t appropriate to repeat.

One doctor stayed with Kara to work on her, muttering almost constantly that she needed to stay still, while the other approached J’onn.

“Sir.” She nodded and sat down to open her kit. “Agent Danvers if you wouldn’t mind coming over here, this will go much quicker.” J’onn would applaud her professionalism if Alex weren’t in hearing distance.

Alex huffed, even as a dog, and strutted over to the doctor before sitting down in front of her. Kara barked from in the arms of Agent… Ross. Alex rolled her eyes and J’onn shook his head before getting up. He needed these two out of the DEO if there was no immediate cure, most of his agents were taking turns passing Kara around.

Not that Kara seemed to mind. Agents Ross and Malone were attempting to hold her still while the doctor looked her over. It wasn’t going well.

“Supergirl! You have to hold still or I won’t be able to finish my examination!” The doctor hadn’t had this much trouble since a Troglen breached the containment area and subsequently gave birth. Kara didn’t seem to hear his call as she kept jumping up to lick at various agent’s faces.

Eventually, J’onn found who he was searching for. The doctors collected all of the information they could for the night and, just as J’onn had feared, there was no instant cure.

“Agent Danvers, Supergirl, you two are to go with Agent Vasquez until further news is- Supergirl, please stop leaping onto Agent Vasquez, you know better than that.” Kara deflated into a heap at their feet, whining pitifully.

Her eyes could have warmed the cold, dead expanses of space.

Vasquez nodded to J’onn and patted her own shoulder. “Come on, Supergirl, just this once though.”

Kara woofed with the delight only a truly good dog could and leapt straight up into Susan’s arms. From her new vantage point she could see all of the agents circling up to see them off. Her tail wagged hard enough that Susan nearly toppled over.

J’onn was inundated by thoughts of jealousy from the other agents. He was going to need multiple drinks. Even Vasquez let slip a small ‘cute’ before her thoughts returned to the paperwork she needed to sort for the night.

Maybe Vazquez needed a raise.

Alex walked out beside Susan, just close enough that they would bump into each other every third or fourth step. J’onn shook his head and brought up his hand to hide a smile, at least he’d chosen the right puppy sitter.

“Look, Alex, do you really think you can use a toilet?”

“Woof”

“Fine, but don’t come complaining to me if you fall in.”

The car ride was fairly uneventful. Alex forced Kara to ride in the back, which Susan was eternally grateful for, she probably wouldn’t have been able to drive well otherwise. Kara hadn’t stopped running from one side of the car to the other, occasionally barking at a child through the window, it was unfortunately adorable.

Alex sat in the passenger seat, silently watching the scenery rush past. She sniffed twice at the air vents before jerking back and pointedly not looking at Susan. Susan didn’t even try to hide her smile.

She pulled into her apartment parking garage and turned to Alex, “Is there any way you can keep her from running off? I’m technically not supposed to have any pets.” Alex only nodded before padding into the back seat and glaring at Kara.

Susan smirked, an easy way to keep them both under control. She popped open her door and climbed out, at least tonight wouldn’t be lonely. Not that Susan minded being alone, but some company every now and again was nice. “Come on you two, I hope you like ground beef.”

Kara launched herself from the car, circling Susan and woofing excitedly, at least she didn’t seem to have her powers as a dog. Alex followed, sniffing whenever she thought Susan wasn’t watching.

There were small blessings though, the trio didn’t run into anyone else in the elevator or the hallway. Probably because it was nearing ten o’clock and the tenants of her building weren’t known for their night-adventures. But no matter why, Susan was grateful.

She keyed the lock open and Kara rushed past to explore. Neither Danvers sister had been to her apartment yet, so this development didn’t shock Susan at all. Alex, however, stayed near the door, waiting for Susan to invite her in.

“Make yourself at home, I’m going to change and then start on dinner.” Susan watched Kara tear down her hallway. “Will you make sure she doesn’t destroy the place?”

Alex woofed, her tail wagging slowly behind her, and set off in pursuit.

Shit, she was so cute too. Susan closed her bedroom door and grabbed out some sweats, she was hoping Kara wouldn’t drool on her, but given her penchant for food and her current physical form, Susan wasn’t going to take any chances. Her old, college hoodie had seen worse things than an overly excitable superdog, it would survive the night.

“Well then,” Susan blinked at the mere scraps of the seven pounds of ground beef that she’d made, her own hamburger equally devoured. “If you two are done, I have paperwork we should look at, Alex.” She rose from her seat and Kara grabbed her plate between her teeth, gently, and brought it to Susan at the sink.

She didn’t know which form was more adorable, the dog, or the superhero. Both had multiple perks. Alex followed suit and brought her plate over too and okay, dog Alex was less kick-ass, but way cuter.

She didn't voice any of this though, just put the dishes in the sink and all three of them padded over to the couch. There wasn't that much paperwork, but hopefully it would keep them both busy until they fell asleep.

Alex and her were one step below J’onn in the bureaucracy of the DEO, but Alex handled the away missions and science side of things while Susan handled the prisoners and equipment and people and transportation and finances and yeah, Susan could continue. She needed Alex to make decisions on some of the lab remodeling that she'd obviously been avoiding.

She could put everything back just the way she liked it as soon as the modeling was done! Really, her stubbornness knew no bounds.

Kara took no time at all to snuggle up against Susan’s left side. She wouldn’t stop whining until Susan finally began scratching at her ear, then, blessedly, she actually calmed down. Alex stuck her nose on one too many paragraphs and wetted the paper so eventually she gave up too and flopped her head next to Kara’s on Susan’s lap.

Susan set her hand on Alex’s head and gave an experimental scratch….. No barking, or biting… she scratched again and, again, did not meet an untimely death.

Well, this was pleasant. She would have been alone with her finicky water heater if not for the dog-transformations. She looked up from her two fur-afied friends and listened to the traffic slowly fade from her window. Yes, a nice evening. Maybe she should move somewhere that allowed dogs...

There was warmth all around her. Seriously, too warm, hot in fact. Actually, Susan was convinced that a radiator had fallen onto her, she was going to start sweating if she couldn’t dislodge this massive thing-

Oh it was Kara. No longer dog-sized, Kara was sprawled out on top of her. The sun fell across her back, probably fueling the heat discharge. Interesting though that was, now was not the time for a heat stroke. Susan attempted to wriggle out of Kara’s hold only to freeze when Kara’s hold only tightened further.

She’d had her fair share of Supergirl-induced bruises, she’d take sweating over that. She heard Alex huff and oh good, maybe Alex could get them out of this. The sight she turned to see wasn’t filled with hope though.

Alex had somehow managed to free her arm and was pushing valiantly against Kara’s face, grunting with effort. It was always interesting, watching Kara’s skin move, but the rest of her stay in place, like some incredibly soft, immovable boulder.

It didn’t take long for Alex to give up, flopping back with a huff. She looked over at Susan and sighed. “Better settle in for the long haul. She ate a lot for dinner, so she probably won’t get up for another half-hour or more.”

Well, heat stroke it would be. She bit her lip and asked, “Any chance she’d move if I kneed her in the groin?”

Alex puffed out a laugh and Susan more felt than saw her shake her head. “Nope, I’ve tried that.”

“Crap.”

“Yup, welcome to the family.”

Susan blinked. “What?”

Alex tried to suppress a smile, but the corners of her lips kept ticking up. “She only does this to me and Eliza, you’re practically an honorary Danvers.”

Oh, that… Susan turned her head, it was just hot and stuffy and she was tired, no need for the misty eyes. Alex’s hand landed on her shoulder and squeezed, maybe she’d just lean in and try to get some more sleep.

Yeah, it was nice to have company sometimes.

“Oh, also, Kara… Kara… Kara you need to let us up so we can put on clothes.”

Oh god, she might have to do paperwork, damn it J’onn.

[cyclone-rachel]

@peskyshortcake @fire-night-sky

the Brainy and Alexis partners in crime AU playlist

Alone Together- Fall Out Boy

I don't know where you're going But do you got room for one more troubled soul? I don't know where I'm going But I don't think I'm coming home and I said I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead This is the road to ruin And we're starting at the end Say yeah (yeah!) Let's be alone together (yeah)

Dance, Dance- Fall Out Boy

She says she's no good with words but I'm worse Barely stuttered out a joke of a romantic stuck to my tongue Weighed down with words too over-dramatic Tonight it's "It can't get much worse" Vs. "No one should ever feel like..."

Dance, dance We're falling apart to half time Dance, dance And these are the lives you love to lead Dance, this is the way they'd love If they knew how misery loved me

Dangerous- Before You Exit

She's got a first time kiss that'll lock you in She's gonna break your heart but you can't resist I know that I just met her, I know I should know better Oooo she's so dangerous I thought she was just so innocent And from the start I was giving in She's such a wreck and I can't forget That ooo she's so dangerous

Dirty Work- Halestorm

Get on your knees and let the games begin Bow to your queen and I will crown your head 'Cause I can make you every inch a king Before I do tell me, tell me what's in it for me? I need someone young, willing and able You need someone old enough to know better

EVOL- Marina and the Diamonds

It only takes two lonely people To fuck love up and make it evil It only takes a drop of evil To fuck up two beautiful people L.O.V.E. L.O.V.E. L.O.V.E. E.V.O.L. L.O.V.E., do you love me? L.O.V.E., love is evil Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker Every kiss you give me makes me sicker A day in the dark, a day in a cloud of gloom, yeah

For Reasons Unknown- The Killers

With one deep breath, and one big step, I move a little bit closer. I move a little bit closer. For reasons unknown. I caught my stride. I flew and flied. I know if destiny’s kind, I’ve got the rest of my mind. But my heart, it don’t beat, it don’t beat the way it used to. And my eyes, they don’t see you no more. And my lips, they don’t kiss, they don’t kiss the way they used to, and my eyes don’t recognize you no more. For reasons unknown; for reasons unknown.

Heroes- All Time Low

Yeah this is moving in the same direction But I'm a little too spent to care Cause it's a battlefield till it blows over Keep your friends close and your enemies closer We're throwing stones though we live in glass houses We talk shit like it's a cross to bear You're only relevant until you get older Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, enemies closer

I Don’t Love You- My Chemical Romance

Well, when you go So never think, I'll make you try to stay And maybe when you get back I'll be off to find another way When you go Would you even turn to say, "I don't love you Like I did Yesterday."

I Forgive You- Every Avenue

From you, I could throw my cares away now I know how freedom taste and I thank you for the pain cause now I can deal with anything You, you had a way of keeping me on my toes I forgive you for the truth I liked you better when you lied, and I forgive you being you cause you were better when you faked every smile

I Miss the Misery- Halestorm

I've been a mess since you stayed I've been a wreck since you changed Don't let me get in your way I miss the lies and the pain The fights that keep us awake-ake-ake I'm tellin you! I miss the bad things The way you hate me I miss the screaming The way that you blame me! Miss the phone calls When it's your fault I miss the late nights Don't miss you at all! I like the kick in the face And the things you do to me! I love the way that it hurts! I don't miss you, I miss the misery!

Just The Way I’m Not- All Time Low

I'm a waste of chances, Full of bad romances, Your favorite enemy, And your most hated friend. When it hurts it hurts, You wonder if it's worth it. But when it works it works, When it's broke it's perfect. Woah oh! Never seem to please you, no, Don't you ever let me go, I know your heart is shut, shut, shut. And don't you know, Nothing's gonna change us.

Kiss With a Fist- Florence + The Machine

My black eye casts no shadow Your red eye sees no blame Your slaps don't stick Your kicks don't hit So we remain the same Blood sticks, sweat drips Break the lock if it don't fit A kick in the teeth is good for some A kiss with a fist is better than none Whoa a kiss with a fist is better than none

Love is a Suicide- Natalia Kills

You like the smell of blood When it's pumpin' like a factory Ooh, you like your words to cut You like to choose the best artillery I wonder who you're thinkin' of Who am I Am I the epitome Of everything you hate And you desire You love me like an enemy

It feels so surgical How you dissect every mistake I make

Love Me Dead- Ludo

She moves through moonbeams slowly She knows just how to hold me And when her edges soften, her body is my coffin I know she drains me slowly She wears me down to bones in bed... Must be the sign on my head, it says "Oh, love me dead!" You're a faith-healer on tv You're an office park without any trees Corporate and cold, gushing for gold, leave me alone

Love me cancerously Brrrot-dot-da-d-da-da! Brrrot-dot-da-d-da-da! How's your new boy? Does he know about me? You've got the mark of the beast You're born of a jackal! You're beautiful!

Lovefool- The Cardigans

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem You love me no longer, I know And maybe there is nothing That I can do to make you do Mama tells me I shouldn't bother That I ought to stick to another man A man that surely deserves me But I think you do! So I cry, and I pray, and I beg Love me, love me Say that you love me Fool me, fool me Go on and fool me Love me, love me Pretend that you love me Leave me, leave me Just say that you need me

The Luthors- Blake Neely

(instrumental)

Mama- My Chemical Romance

And when we go don't blame us, yeah. We'll let the fire just bathe us, yeah. You made us, oh, so famous. We'll never let you go. And when you go don't return to me my love. Mama, we're all full of lies. Mama, we're meant for the flies. And right now they're building a coffin your size, Mama, we're all full of lies.

Miss Murder- AFI 

With just a look they shook And heavens bowed before him. Simply a look can break your heart. The stars that pierce the sky; He left them all behind. We’re left to wonder why He left us all behind. 

Dreams of his crash won’t pass Oh, how they all adored him Beauty will last when spiraled down.

Mz. Hyde- Halestorm

Good girl gone bad, my poison is your remedy Better be scared, better be afraid Now that the beast is out of her cage And I know you Wanna risk it You know you Are so addicted Boy, you better run for your life

Never Surrender- Skillet

Do you know what it's like when You're scared to see yourself? Do you know what it's like when You wish you were someone else Who didn't need your help to get by? Do you know what it's like To wanna surrender? I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow I don't wanna live like this today Make me feel better I wanna feel better Stay with me here now And never surrender

Please Don’t Leave Me- Pink

I can be so mean when I wanna be, I am capable of really anything, I can cut you into pieces, When my heart is broken. Da da da da da Please, don't leave me [2x] I always say how I don't need you But it's always gonna come right back to this Please, don't leave me

Sometimes- Skillet

Sometimes I don't wanna be better Sometimes I can't be put back together Sometimes I find it hard to believe There's someone else who could be Just as messed up as me Sometimes don't deny That everything is wrong Sometimes rather die Than to admit it's my fault Sometimes when you cry I just don't care at all I don't know why I do the things I do to you but...

Starring Role- Marina and the Diamonds

It almost feels like a joke to play out a part When you are not the starring role in someone else's heart You know I'd rather walk alone than play a supporting role If I can't get the starring role Sometimes I ignore you, so I feel in control 'Cause really, I adore you, and I can't leave you alone Fed up with the fantasies that cover what is wrong Come on, baby, let's just get drunk, forget we don't get on

Stop Me- Natalia Kills

Darling, darling You know I never meant to drag you down Standing at the bar with your scars and your lonely heart So let's leave this dead-end town If I, if I run away with you tonight, tonight We could make the wrongs feel right, so right We could do some damage

Tell Me I’m a Wreck- Every Avenue

I could have been easier on you I could have been all you held onto I know I wasn't fair, I tried my best to care about you I know I could have been a better man But I always had to have the upper hand I'm struggling to see the better side of me But I can't take all your jabs and taunts You're pointing out my every fault And you wonder why I walked away

Toxic- Britney Spears

Baby, can’t you see I’m calling A guy like you Should wear a warning It’s dangerous I’m fallin’ There’s no escape I can’t wait I need a hit Baby, give me it You’re dangerous I’m lovin’ it

Villain- Hedley

I'm so cold and far away from home You're so tired and so damn alone It's darker and much harder to be me So far away from my reality I hate the way you look, I'm looking back I hate the way I look, you're looking too I think maybe I'm just falling, falling, falling And you kiss me like you know inside of me (let me lead you, let me follow) And you watch me fight my own insanity (let me lead you, let me follow)

You Can Do Better Than Me- Death Cab for Cutie

I'm starting to feel We stayed together out of fear of dying alone

I have to face the truth That no one could ever look at me like you do Like I'm something worth holding on to There's times I think of leaving But it's something I'll never do 'Cause you can do better than me But I can't do better than you

Young God- Halsey

He says, "Oh, baby girl, you know we're gonna be legends I'm the king and you're the queen and we will stumble through heaven If there's a light at the end, it's just the sun in your eyes”

But do you feel like a young god? You know the two of us are just young gods And we'll be flying through the streets with the people underneath And they're running, running, running 

[foundcarcosa]

ccxi.

1. Do your parents ever encourage you to hang out with people that you don’t like? >> He was invested in me making black friends. I wasn’t as interested in that when I was a teenager. I didn’t dislike them, I just didn’t have anything in common with the (alarmingly few) other black kids in my high school at the time. But by this time in my life, I think I understand what he was trying to do. It just didn’t work.

2. Would you think it was odd if someone got fabric paint to decorate their underwear? >> Well, sure, but I’m not one to judge.

3. Do you ever stalk old friends? >> Nah.

4. What year was your worst school picture taken? >> The one I remember best was in ninth grade.

5. What made it the worst? >> I... really don’t know what my face was doing. But I must forgive myself. That was a very tumultuous time in my life.

6. Do you think you could count all the freckles on your body? >> I don’t have any.

7. Do you ever crave a good cuddling? >> Sure.

8. Which of your friends has the coolest siblings? >> ---

9. Are you ever greedy? >> Sure.

10. How much would you pay someone if you never had to go to school again? >> You don’t have to pay me to do what I was already planning on doing.

11. Would you like to be home schooled? >> The opportunity for that is long past, but I want to unschool any child I raise.

12. Would you like to go to an all girls [or if you’re a boy then all boys] school? >> I wouldn’t want to go to any gender-segregated school.

13. Why or why not? >> I don’t see the purpose of dividing a student body based upon... well, the students’ bodies.

14. Is your school’s band any good? >> ---

15. Do you have a favorite lyric from any song >> I have a lot of favourites, but let me see if I can pull one up at random... Ah. “My soul brings tears to angelic eyes” is still a favourite of mine (God Called in Sick Today, AFI). Unfortunately, I just noticed that for some reason half of my digital copy of Black Sails in the Sunset is just... missing. So now I have to download a new copy, but TPB never completely recovered the seeder-ship that it used to have, so I’m stuck on “connecting to peers 0.0%”. :/

16. Who is the biggest attention whore that you know? >> I mean, probably someone in the Cluster B Discord.

17. Is your life no longer enjoyable? >> False.

18. Did you get to see your friends as often as you would have liked to? >> Aside from Sparrow, my entire social circle is online, so I guess I see them as often as they log in.

19. Does orange sherbet sound good right now? >> Not really.

20. Would black hair look good or bad on you? >> I’m sure it’d look fine on me. I’d prefer something more complementary to my colouring, though.

21. Are you on anyone’s hero box on myspace? >> ---

22. Who has the biggest eyes that you know of? >> I’m not sure.

23. Do your wrists ever hurt from typing too much >> No, surprisingly. Probably because I’ve been typing since I was very small.

24. What can you imagine as being the worst thing that could happen to you right now? >> Me falling violently -- like ER-level -- ill at any point today.

25. How many times did you go swimming this summer >> Zero.

26. Have you ever been to a hard rock cafe? >> I’ve been to the one in Times Square, back in 2006. I found it to be a sad sort of place -- overpriced and terribly commercial, lacking in personality. I’d rather go to literally any trashy bar on the LES. Or Duff’s, which boasts an extensive hard-rock history. 27. When was the last time someone called your cell-phone and you didn’t know them? >> The other day. I think it’s still people calling for whomever had this number before me. I haven’t even set up my voicemail on this phone yet because no one calls for me and I don’t feel like getting holiday-related voicemails meant for that other person.

28. Do you hate it when people overuse the phrase ‘lol?’ >> No.

29. Do you ever have those weird little dreams where you’re like half awake? >> Yes, all the time.

30. Do you ever push your pillow off the bed? >> No.

31. What’s more important to you living it up or getting good grades? >> ---

32. What do you think of little children? Annoying as hell or cute? >> I’m pretty fond of children, even when they’re annoying. I imagine it’d be a little different if said child was mine, since I’d never get a break. :p

33. Is there any song that makes you think of your dad? >> Anything by Marvin Gaye, since that’s his favourite singer. (I can honestly see why, his songs are timeless and his voice is lovely.)

34. Do you ever look for comfort in surveys? >> Not really. Mostly for space to think.

35. Do you like frogs? >> Sure, they’re neat as hell.

36. Have you had any really bad experiences while plucking your eyebrows? >> No.

37. Who of your friends acts the most like a prep? >> Can anyone even be a prep once they’ve long passed adolescence...

38. Is the whole prep thing overrated anyway? >> Probably. I wouldn’t know.

39. What’s up with Fergie’s song Big Girls Don’t Cry? >> I don’t know, I’m not familiar with that song.

40. Is it hard to stay friends with someone when one of your close friends hates them? >> It’s difficult when the hating friend doesn’t want anyone else to hang out with said hated friend, or when hating!friend trash-talks hated!friend all the time. When your social circle is closer to a single circle than a venn diagram (or two separate circles), it becomes messy after a while.

41. Have you ever read The Outsiders? >> I read almost all of it sometime in high school, then I dropped it and never picked it back up again. Maybe one day I’ll give it a try again, but it’s not a priority.

42. What did you think of it? >> I guess I didn’t much care for it, since I never finished it.

43. What does your backpack/messenger bag/whatever you use for school look like? >> I don’t go to school, but I have three backpacks. One is a tiny black Jansport for carrying small things hands-free, one is a tropical-print regular-sized backpack for carrying Normandy when I take it places, and the third is a heavy-duty black laptop bag (that one was for Heimdall, which is a fair bit bigger than Normandy).

44. Where did you last go shopping at? >> Meijer.

45. Would it be weird if a person’s real name was Cheeto? >> Well, sure.

46. Is there anyone you want to give a hug to? >> Aside from Xibalbans, I’m not sure. I haven’t initiated a hug in a very long time.

47. What is the difference between giving and receiving a hug? >> Initiation. Also, a hug you give is definitely one you desire. A hug you receive sometimes is just one you tolerate, lol.

48. What are you listening to right now? >> Christmas Canon Rock, Trans-Siberian Orchestra. God, I’m so hype for tonight. (I didn’t choose that song on purpose, though, iTunes is on shuffle.)

49. Do any of your friends have the same name as any of your family members? >> I mean, maybe. 50. Have you seen Talladega Nights? >> Yes.

51. If so what was your favorite scene in it? >> For some reason, “shut up, you little pot-licker, or I’ll put you in the microwave” is a line that punched me right in the funny bone, so I still remember it. I haven’t seen the movie in years, though, so I don’t remember any other favourite parts. I should rewatch it and see if I still find it as funny as I did.

52. How often do you paint your nails? >> Not very often. High effort, low return (the varnish starts chipping pretty fast because of how often and to what ends I use my hands). I might do them today.

53. Have you ever taken a picture of you kissing someone? >> Sure.

54. If you are one of those people who’s always single do you ever long for someone to sit around and take pictures of while kissing? >> ---

55. Can I buy you a ‘drank?’ >> ---

56. If you know what song I’m referring to, why do you think T-Pain says drank and not drink? >> Dialect.

57. How come boys never take surveys? >> They do. Just not as often, I suppose. I wouldn’t know why.

58. What is the last thing you did on powerpoint? >> ---

59. Do your grandparents know what myspace is? >> ---

60. When’s the last time you sprinted? >> I don’t remember.