#is the name of a project I'm still in the brainstorm phase

[mayiwritesomething]

Love is An Unfamiliar Name (Pt. 1)

You’re a sucessful and methodic award winner music composer and producer, that after working on a few movies got invited to coordinate the sound department on a TV series, by your busy and controlled schedule, it will be just another project on your portifolio… but life sometimes has a funny way to surprise you.

Wordcount: 1,6k

A/N: guys just be nice to me since this is my first fic haha, that i decided to write just for fun. I apologize if there is any mistakes since english is not my first language. In this first chapter i tried to give a little bit of our main caracter background (she may seem a little stupid at first, but she’s got a big heart and is just scared of showing too much affection). And since this is a real person celebrity fic i tried just to write a fun story. Hope you like it :)

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Dinner

"Goodbye, boss! Could you please brief me on how the meeting will unfold?" Jennifer says with a smile.

"Stop calling me that! Jesus!" you respond with a less than welcoming expression, that might scare those unaware of your kind nature.

Jennifer continues to laugh, saying, "Oh, come on! I'm just getting into the spirit. I've already gathered the entire team for the project and sent you the email with the details. I heard this guy Craig is as methodical as you."

She takes another sip of a drink, the contents of which are unclear due to the image quality, but you assume it's some kind of energy-boosting juice. "I also discovered he's a fan of your work, so you're all set! The brainstorming session you organized for the plot is fantastic", she adds, concluding with a laugh, "Bye, good luck, bossy!".

“Bye Jenny!”

Jennifer, has been your assistant of nearly a decade and a friend for much longer, understood your aversion to titles. Despite this, for the next ten months at least, you were going to assume the role of a boss. Coordinating an entire sound team was no easy feat; having experience on both sides, you were well aware of the challenges ahead. However, in this case, you were not just a regular composer working on a typical project. You were a fan adapting one of your favorite games for the big screen, something that filled you with anxiety.

As Jenny had predicted, the meeting was a success. Time seemed to fly by as you delved into your passion for music and its transformative impact on a serie. This phase of your career gave you the freedom to choose your collaborators, and Craig was someone you wanted work with for some time. Over the course of a three-hour Zoom call, you found that you connected well, not only with Craig but also with the rest of the team. Together, you had a productive briefing, establishing the desired atmosphere that would align with both the essence of the game and the script you held in your hands.

As life began to regain its rhythm post-lockdown, you still felt a hint of anxiety about going out and mingling with more than four people. However, this evening called for celebration with your friends, primarily because Jenny wouldn't let you be, insisting that you only pretended to enjoy being by yourself. She believed you needed "some drinks, good food, laughter, tears, and maybe getting laid."

Following your last breakup, you had made a promise to yourself to not date anyone for a year, a vow you upheld not just for one year but for the following one as well. Suddenly, all the men and women you encountered seemed uninteresting, but you still had some fun in one night standings, which by the way made some of the people you met quite angry, as you would just leave without saying anything.

As soon as you arrived at the bistro booked by Jenny for you and the girls, Maria said out loud, “Here comes THE GOAT!!”

'”Shhhhh, Maria! This is a private place,' you whispered, glancing over your shoulder, although people were imerged in their own worlds and conversations, allowing you and your friends to enjoy a pleasant girl night.

“Come on, girl, you're the award winner here, not to mention THE SOUND COORDINATOR! Aren't you thrilled?” Jenny attempted to lighten the mood.

“Of all the episodes, by the way” Amy chimed in.

“Yes, girls, of course, I'm happy”, you replied with a smile. “I am a bit nervous and overwhelmed. It's going to be a year-long project, surrounded by a considerable number of people, that might include some famous individuals whose crazy egos I definitely don't enjoy working with.'

“But hey, you’re not a jane doe honey” Jenny added.

You went on to explain the challenges of dealing with ego driven actors. 'I don't even know what the Game of Thrones guy is like in real life, we only spoke via Zoom. He's an actor; he could portray niceness on screen and be difficult in real life. We all know that's a possibility.'

Jenny and Maria appeared surprised or apprehensive you couldn’t understand the reason, so you kept going, 'He's an actor; he can pretend to be nice and be a dick off-screen; we all know this can happen.'

“Girl… just…” Amy interjected, her expression showing concern.

'What?!” You interrupted her “ Amy, I'm not lying... I'll have to talk to him a lot,' you retorted, visibly frustrated by the thought.

"Stop!”, she continued.

“Why?” Judging by the expression on the girls' faces, you knew you had messed something up. Were the HBO executives present? Where anyone that shouldn’t be there listening to you? Damn it.

Resignation.

This time, Jenny spoke in a hushed tone, “By the 'Game of Thrones' guy, you mean the one sitting right behind you?” She attempted to maintain calm so you would’t crack. She said something else, but you were so flustered that you couldn't make out her words or anyone else's. Should you turn around to face the person behind you? Should you chuckle and say you were joking? Should you just...

“Well, I assure you I'm not a dick, even if someone who doesn't know me may think so,” a male voice behind you interjected. Damn the Game of Thrones guy.

You turned to face him, and he continued, “Hi, pleased to meet you in person, award winner sound coordinator. Well… I'm the Game of Thrones guy, or Pedro, whichever you prefer.” His words made you reflect on how snob you must have sounded. He had heard everything. You felt awful.

“Oh, well, pleased to meet you in person too, Pedro! I didn’t…” You struggled to form a coherent sentence in your head. Damn, he smelled good. “My name is... um… I am…” Nothing seemed to make sense in your mind anymore. Why say your name when you had spoken to him before?

“Never mind,” he said, smiling. “I know your name and who you are. We met before. By the way, I'm a huge fan of your work.” He knew how to be cirurgical yet polite, which made you chuckle, even though you just wanted to vanish.

Pedro was undeniably good-looking, not exactly your cup of tea, but you couldn't deny his charm. The way he responded to your stupid remarks made him seem more intriguing. You felt a bit woozy. What had you gotten yourself into?

“Pedro, I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m sorry,” you apologized, attempting to clarify. “I'm terrible with names.” You were being honest. Now he appeared more serious, and your voice began to tremble. “I mean... I'm only making things worse, aren't I?”

“A little bit,” he chuckled softly, sounding genuine. Glancing over his shoulder, you noticed a beautiful brunette lady at the other end of the table. You waved, receiving a forced smile in return. Back to Pedro. Stop behaving like a teenager. Pull yourself together. Jenny said something, but you didn't catch it. Keep. It. Together.

"I guess I'm the one who came off as a jerk... I know I sounded pretentious, and I apologize," you began, finding your voice. "I've had some really bad experiences with certain actors and their egos, so I was worried you might be like them… so i…" All those therapy sessions seemed to be paying off; he was listening to you, paying attention not only to your words but also to your uncomfortable gestures. You pushed past the discomfort and continued, "I'm truly sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." Your voice dropped to almost a whisper in the last sentence.

"So you might want to think twice before mentioning someone’s name in a private restaurant in Los Angeles, don't you think?" He spoke with a hint of irony, almost provocatively. You took the bait.

"Not tha-" You were about to respond when Jenny interjected, "Hey! I believe Pedro here has a date to attend to, right buddy?" He nodded smiling, and Maria chimed in, "And you, girl, promised us a night out and turned it into a work-related gathering." Those girls were true diplomats.

"I don’t want to take up any more of your time, Pedro," you said, maintaining a serious expression as you locked eyes with his dark gaze, your usual impenetrable poker face firmly in place.

"Never mind," he replied. "By the way-"

"Hey babe, do you want to call your friends to join us?" the attractive lady accompanying him interjected, her tone dripping with irony.

"It won't be necessary," Maria retorted, clearly annoyed. She was hungry, and anyone who knew her understood how irritable she could get when hunger struck. You KNEW she was on the verge of losing her cool.

"I'm sorry for this disruption; we didn't mean to interrupt your date, guys."

"Sorry... you do seem to like that word, don't you?" The pretty brunette girl knew how to be ironical.

"Yeah, thanks for the heads up," you responded, laughing almost manically and subtly holding Maria back, knowing she was on the brink of saying something that could have gotten all four of you kicked out of the restaurant. Jenny steered you to another table far away from them, while Amy engaged the waiter in conversation. Your hands felt as cold as ice.

"See you soon, sound coordinator... oops, AWARD-winning sound coordinator," he said with a chuckle as he returned to his table. "Hopefully, we can prove to each other that we're nice people."

"I'm looking forward to it... Game of Thrones guy." You waved and smiled more than necessary as you both returned to your respective dinner conversations.

You replayed this encounter in your mind all the way home. How could he not be angry with you? There were still a few months until filming begins, and yet you felt an unfamiliar sense of anxiety creeping in. Opening your door, you continued to mull over his ironic parting words: "Hopefully, we can prove to each other that we're nice people," you repeated with a grin.

"Well, I suppose we'll have to wait and see.” You said.

Wait. And. See.

[projectastray]

August Q&A with Questions from Patreon!!

hello hello & welcome to the

🎆 PROJECT ASTRAY QUESTION & ANSWER EXTRAVAGANZA : AUGUST EDITION 🎆

i asked my patreon discord for questions about project astray's development and, given the limited amount of info out there about the game (intentional), i was curious to see what kind of curiosities folks would have!

and now i'll share those here, too! enjoy~

Q from Raccoon:

Q: What was the kind of original idea for Project Astray, like how did you come up with the main idea?

A: This is gonna start way off target, but: Back when I was working at ArenaNet on Guild Wars 2, I designed a story quest that involved a sort of passive stealth system where you were invisible at all times to enemies, unless you wanted to interact with something, in which case you revealed yourself. I thought it was a fun way to solve the 'challenge' problem with stealth in an MMO, where there weren't real systems in place to do stealth that felt 'fun' in a traditional stealth game sense... but still let you feel sneaky. So it became an order of operations problem: if I open this gate with a switch, there's an enemy looking my way, so I have to knock them out... but another enemy is looking at THEM, so I have to wait for them to turn their back, knock them out too, then the way is clear to open the gate.

Anyway that was a fun little mission, but years and years later I still looked back on that design process fondly. I was also starting to think about thematic material for a 2nd game project after ESC... and I kept brainstorming various systems ideas for games centered around my experiences with social anxiety & social stealth. And so I thought that would be a fun idea to explore.

The actual systems that have come out of that initial spark of an idea are very different, but you can probably see some of the origins in there once I reveal the full game's mechanics.

Qs from Nicola:

Q: Are you composing all the music 100% yourself or are you collaborating with someone else one a song or two?

A: Mostly, yes! It's what I'd probably call at 99% me game, where I'm leaving room for possible collaboration or assistance if it sounds fun, but the vast majority of the music will be all me. Naturally! I do have one or two possible collaborations, though, which I'll think more about once I'm in the music phase of development.

Q: Are you still spending time on coding the core mechanics or have you already finished those for the most part, and are starting to assemble the game more? (Iirc in the last update you wrote about working on combat mechanics, so kind of related on its progress)

A: The core mechanics are about 75% there! Everything is in a place now where I can primarily build out content, and the remaining 25% is all stuff that is coming from any time I can't do something specifically as I'd like to, in which case I have to start adding more scripts or actions to enable me to do more with the systems. But the core is solid! I'm still on track to get 'chapter 1' fully realised this year, which is exciting.

Q: What kind of Ashtray is this? Is it a plain metal one, maybe a colored glass one, or a decorated painted ceramic one? (I think you've written something about the working name of the project, but I can't remember what exactly and where.)

A: One of those really old ones with the sort of bubbly glass texture, fully transparent, with a frosted crescent moon baked into the bottom of it.

In all seriousness, Astray!! Thematically it'll always feel relevant. Lots of things are astray in the game, its characters and setting. "Away from the correct path or direction". But who defines what is 'correct'? Where are they going? All important key words and concepts to think about.

As a bonus fun fact: the final game title also starts with 'A' but doesn't involve the word 'Astray'.

Qs from LaurentDS:

Q: what are things that you learned from your years of experience making music that helped you in the non music related aspects of Project Astray

A: Pacing, mostly. I always think of storytelling and gameplay and transitions in games in terms of the pace they take in a musical sense. What tempo is this all running on? How will it feel if it takes X seconds to happen, can I speed it up? Slow it down? Getting it all to feel right and 'in tempo' with itself is a really important part of design for me. And it also makes composition a lot easier, or even composition can help make finding the tempo easier. Because once it all meshes, nothing will (hopefully) feel out of place or rushed or sluggish.

Q: Your music and Project Astray are done in parallel. How do you juggle between those? Do you see it as a way to break artist block (work on one when you need a break from the other, etc)?

A: Yeah, absolutely. I still think of my music work as my 'main' job because it's for folks that have hired me for my time, so I always place a priority on that and fitting the development schedule. But when I do have a choice between game design work & music work, one absolutely helps me bounce back and forth if I'm feeling stuck in one area or the other.

Q: What has been the most fun aspect or detail of its development that you want to share?

A: Honestly, getting all the gameplay elements into a state where it's actually super fun to just sit down and play for a bit... There's still a lot of work to do, but seeing the possibilities now that it's in a state where you can play for a bit, it's so exciting to potentially get more friends in and testing it out so I can see how it feels for real people that aren't thinking about it every single day.

Qs from Jodie:

Q: what parts of Project Astray's development do you plan to share in things like teasers or update posts, if you choose to share anything? Will it be limited to character showcases and some screenshots or will we also get the occasional technical post if that interests you?

A: I'd love to delve into technical aspects once I am at a place where it makes sense to talk about those things!! Obviously not until I've revealed more about the game, but coding is a fun troubleshooting game that I'm always game to share anecdotes about.

Outside of that, yeah absolutely character showcases are among my next things to share... There's a lot to get into.

Q: Once it gets close to release, are you planning to release Project Astray as an early access title and release the game in chapters or do you plan to release it all once its 100% complete?

A: I definitely won't be doing early access. I don't think it plays well with a linear story game. The only early sort of thing I'm considering is doing a 'demo' of the 1st chapter before releasing the full game, but the timing & decision on that are pretty unknown until I get far enough along that I feel confident about it. And especially with a personal project that will be many years in the making, showing stuff earlier might help build excitement for the final thing. None of that is final, though, it's just me thinking out loud.

Qs from Aeris:

Q: What are your inspirations for the game's setting/world? And are there any aspects of magic/otherworldliness to the setting?

A: There's so much about this question that I can't quite share yet, but I will try to answer it without revealing everything: The sense of 'otherworldliness' is going to be very high. While there will be a concrete world to explore, not everything might seem logical or real. This has a lot to do with the setting itself. As a normal person in this world, things might change one day and leave you wondering if what you remembered is really true, or if it's always been like this. Time might suddenly advance with a gap in perception. You might dream of another state of existence, so real and tangible, and then wake up and go back to your usual routine. But there's a nagging in the periphery of your mind that it isn't right. That you were supposed to do something else. Our main characters have felt this deep down and have pushed past the instinctual drive to return to normalcy. They've chosen to EXIST, and whatever that might entail.

Q: also, not super important, but what engine are you using for the game?

A: GameMaker Studio!

Thanks so much to all my discord dreamers for their really thoughtful questions!! I had a lot of fun answering these, and hopefully they give you even more insight into the game at this early stage.

Until next time~

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

Cruz

To whoever is reading this: I hope whatever holiday you happen to celebrate this time of year is going fantastic for you! Best wishes, and Happy New Year!!!

I personally celebrate Christmas (and even if I didn't, gift-giving would still be my primary love language to friends and family), so I figured it would be fun to create a fanego as a present for my amazing buddy @sammys-magical-au! Just a little something to show my gratitude for all the times they've helped me brainstorm for my stories!

(I might try to do this for more of my Tumblr friends next year; I'll admit that this instance was kinda last-minute 😅)

So, since this character is for Sammy, he's obviously a LixianEgo

Cruz is basically my headcanon name for the character that Lixian voices in Late Night Mop. (I actually brought up the idea of making said character into an ego in an ask I sent to Sammy a while ago.)

When I watched the Let's Plays of LNM roll out, I grew attached to the theory that the whole last-minute cleaning job was actually just a trap/long-con to appease the demon that had been summoned.

So. . .yeah. Cruz may not be part of a cult, but he's still what most wannabe cultists like to pretend they are. As for why Cruz chose to make a hobby out of summoning horrific abominations. . .well, I'm not really sure, but I know he's not gonna explain himself anytime soon.

I won't say Cruz isn't a bit of a misanthropist, but he still knows how to interact with others. I.e., how to put on a personable facade in order to "make friends" until he's gained enough of their trust to lure them into his escapades. You can't just mingle with outer monstrosities without making a sacrifice or two, after all.

On the other side of the coin, Cruz has a shocking knack for taking mind-melting eldritch vibes in stride. Honestly, he's way more casual and collected when hanging out with atrocities against nature than he is around his fellow humans.

He's grown a decent collection of occult books/artifacts over the years. Most things in this collection have been acquired through less-than-legal means, because duh. Cruz has long-since learned to navigate the more paranormal side of the Dark Web/Black Market.

He's picked up several languages in order to translate for his projects. Some are human (such as Latin/Pig Latin). Others. . .not so much (the pronunciation is difficult for someone without multiple forked tongues, but Cruz is nothing if not a determined bastard, so he manages).

He's also musically-inclined (inspired by the fact that there's a violin hanging on the wall in LNM's master bedroom). The majority of summoning rituals don't require music, but he'll be over the moon whenever he manages to find one that does.

If LNM didn't make it obvious, Cruz isn't phased by gory stuff. Hell, the bloody mess in that game is small potatoes compared to some of the other offerings/rituals he's set up in the past (and in the future. . .😈)

That demon from LNM wasn't the first ungodly creature Cruz has summoned, and it certainly won't be the last, either. In fact, his latest schemes may or may not involve. . .ah, what's his name again? Oh yeah! The terrifying EldritchPlier himself, as well as Lunky and Co. (*cough-cough* Cruz has also probably entered a contract with my very own LeviathanPat on the side *cough-cough*)

Thanks to all the surreal shenanigans he's experienced, Cruz has developed a literal sixth sense. Though it takes concentration/mental strength, he can see/hear/feel/smell/taste all kinds of things that most people are better off not being aware of.

While Cruz operates with little regard for his own sanity or the well-being of other people, he still has enough morals to not sacrifice babies/kids.

Happy Holidays, Sammy!!! I know this isn't much, but I hope you like this guy! Please feel free to write about him whenever you want! (No pressure of course, but still!)

[goose-books]

i read your wips intro/masterpost, they all look super cool (!!!) but the status sections look like they haven’t been updated in awhile—any updates?

first of all, THANK YOU!!! means a lot whenever anyone checks out my posts! i have a tendency to forget this blog exists, which i can only blame partially on my being in school; i'm part of a thriving community of writing discord servers, and so i've gotten into the habit of sharing more writing there than here. also, from the bottom of my heart, i never have any idea what to post. so thank you x2 for asking for an update, because i can certainly do that!

in the order of the intro post, shall we? (which i have now updated, because it was bothering me.)

The Mortal Realm & Quark: "starting second draft summer 2021," he said (about the first). so that was a fucking lie. summer 2021 i spent working at a children's summer camp, which, while i love kids, sapped my sickly-victorian-boy strength like tuberculosis. and then i went off to college! so quark didn't happen in the fall, either.

both of these are on indefinite hiatus for now, but not shelved! as my oldest long-running projects and the ones that saw me through some specific parts of my life, they're very important to me, and i think about the characters and plots frequently. that said, i've grown a lot since i began each one, so some of my old plans no longer align with the sort of things i like to write now... both are probably due for a rehaul, and as i'm focused on other projects atm, i'm not sure when that will be! but they idle in the back of my brain like screensavers.

A Modern Tragedy: the scripts for AMT are entirely finished! (barring the intermission episode i never wrote, i suppose.) i wrote the last words and immediately encountered some issues, namely: i know how to write, but not how to record and produce a podcast. plus, a podcast-enjoying friend of mine who read the scripts pointed out that honestly, AMT has too many characters to work as an audio drama; i have written a TV show in audio form. and speaking of things i know how to do less than producing a podcast--producing a TV show. so at present i sort of just... have this. sitting on my computer. i've half a mind to just post the scripts on this blog; if you're interested in seeing them... you can certainly shoot me a dm.

darkling: this behemoth is fully drafted, goddamn it, and i did do a round of beta readers over summer 2021. that said, this thing scares me. i am far better at drafting than i am at editing, and approaching a 200,000 word book (yes. i know. i know) to rip the seams out and kick that word count into shape intimidates me. i think perhaps we should all be very mean to me until i acquiesce to sniffing the draft through the bathroom door (??? <- will being mean to me work? unclear)

Valentine van Velt is Dead: oh now this is ridiculous; have i really not updated the intro post in over a year? i suppose not. valentine van velt is out! i posted the book in full in google doc, pdf, and epub forms; you can read it right now today!

love, h: finally something on the intro post is true. this is still in brainstorming mode, less because i haven't figured it out and more because i need to enter another intense hamlet phase to be able to write it properly. it'll happen.

godsong: ah, and we approach the reason the rest of these projects haven't gotten done. my silly little lesbian aeneid is eating my brain. in the past year and a half, i have 1. plotted an entire trilogy 2. written a book and a half 3. spiraled into related AUs for literally over a hundred words. the problem with writing a project that combines multiple hyperfixations is that it will crawl into your brainstem and never ever ever ever leave you alone. ever.

...which is to say that i've written a godsong! i've completed a first draft of the first book and i'm currently drafting the second; i've learned that editing scares me and bogs me down, so i'm riding this hyperfocus as far as it'll take me before i do a beta-reading round. this may come as a shock, because i've posted very little about godsong compared to my other projects, and again, this is because i have no idea what to post. every now and then i get frightened about posting real excerpts, in case it somehow fucks me up copyright-wise. this is a largely irrational fear that i have anyhow. i'm dicking around trying to make character moodboards for intro posts, but i keep running into the moral quandary of whether i can knowingly use unsourced pinterest images, like, morally. unrelated, yeah i do have OCD, how did you know?

thank you for asking after my projects, anon! ^_^ this was a very nice ask to receive and it reminds me i really ought to post here more often... if i ever scrounge up enough pictures from fucking unsplash, we'll see about those intros. if anyone has questions, opinions, or suggestions for future maxblog activities, feel free to shoot me an ask!

[sleepyowlwrites]

story behind your stories tag

invented by @writingonesdreams who did not know she was making this tag for me. this is exactly the kind of stuffs that I love! mmm delicious introspection.

Rules: go over your favourite creative projects and reflect on how they were influenced by your real life at the time

I'll go chronologically to help my brain out.

Somewhere Else/Sky Earth/Walking Through Shadows - this wasn't my first "novel" but it was my first project that actually got worked on for a long time. it's pretty typical fantasy with choice vs destiny, responsibility vs/and loyalty, family bonds, magical items, an expansive world and a lot of allegory (I was 14 when I started this, and had come upon the revelation that I was meant to be a writer. whatever else I did, I had to write. the MC is a girl who has to start making decision about her life, just like I was doing. I lost the plot between all the worldbuilding, which also was happening in my life.)

Lands of Colors series - I did so much brainstorming for this but never wrote it. based around element controlling teens in adjacent magical kingdoms, it was all about people coming together as friends to solve problems. (I worked on this in high school and deep into my "I'm weird I'm a weirdo I don't fit in and I don't wanna fit in" phase in which my friends were all like "yeah sure you're weird, let's play video games" and it was great. ish.)

29 Days of October - this title has belonged to two totally different stories, and it showcases how I changed my preferences for what type of stories I wanted to write. it was fantasy both times, but one time it was really generic, and one time it was generic but I was starting to get the hang of "tropes can be twisted around in many directions" (my mom found this curriculum for One Year Adventure Novel and I tried to do it with this. we might still have it, I don't remember. this was around the time I was realizing that I could never write what I was told, only whatever I felt like.)

Every Other Star is Silent - this is anxiety story! lonely college freshman gets adopted by some friends and there's a lot of anxiety and crying but also hugging and healing. (I thought this up in 2016, right before I remembered I had a tumblr account, and knew that this was something I had to write about, because I've done the anxiety and crying thing and I wanted to talk about it. I wanted other people to feel seen, and to understand, and to make it something between escapism and horribly raw reality. according to the comments on ao3 - because I borrowed a fandom to help myself write it - I did achieve that.)

Twisted - this was 2018, I think. seven mercenaries from wildly different background - two assassins from different "schools", a soldier, an everyman, a weapons expert, a clairvoyant and a kid get hired to retrieve a princess to take the throne of a kingdom. turns out the nobles want to kill her so they become her guardians. the kid is discovered to be a prince so they help him take the throne instead. (this was in my "oh I can borrow a fandom to let me write? sweet" phase and everything I wrote started out with names of existing characters and then I gradually worked it back into my own thing. around this time I was feeling extremely suffocated by work and just wanted to escape and not feel like a failure all the time. so did every. single. character in this wip.)

It's a Big Universe - I dreamed it up. I woke up with the taste of this vivid dream on my tongue and I wrote it down as fast as I could. lonely alien flies around in his spaceship until an oracle tells him where he can find friends. he does indeed find them, and they adventure around the universe before ending their story together/starting a new one. (if you would like to read this, lmk. it's about 2K ((the short, finished version)) and bittersweet, I think. I can't say what it was mirroring, but I was fully established as a "friendship over literally anything else" writer.)

Youth - 10 teenagers have emotions and sometimes talk about them. or, "what if all the other stuff that happens in your life like school and jobs and family and random events weren't really a thing and we were just busy experiencing all those chaotic teenage emotions" the novel. (I think most of what I write will fall under NA, but I have such a soft spot for YA and for the teenage years and all the tumultuous feelings that come with them. this is not really a story. it's an extended experience, a group of vibes, a season, a dream. but it means so much. it means SO MUCH.)

dirt in the doing - I've had this wip for not even two months but it already holds my heart. angsty young people are keen on rebelling against a society that seems to always be against them but they are continually pausing on that long term goal to work on shorter, more personal ones, like dealing with their respective traumas and punching some people. there is introspection, and metaphor, and friendship, and casual affection/intimacy, and banter, and PAINFUL EMOTIONS - all my signatures faves. (in between 2012 and 2016 I figured out that I just want to write WHATEVER I want to write, and maybe I should just do it. by 2018 I completely conquered any last reservations about showcasing my raw, unedited or unfinished creations to the world, I had become extremely positive about my art and writing, and I had quit the job that was destroying my mental health. now, in 2022, I write what I want, I share what I want, I have developed a style and skills, I don't make promises to myself or anybody, and I don't insist that I stick with anything or throw away anything. I don't give up on my writing, I just sometimes give up on particular pieces of it. but it's never a waste. never a waste, always a gain. I wrote dirt in the doing and posted it unedited and never felt bad about doing something new or not fixing typos. I'm "pushing 30" and I've grown up. so has my writing. so has my attitude. I wonder what new trope I'll become obsessed with next. probably nothing can top hugging.)

thanks for curating this game for me, Dreamy. you're a true friend. 😊

tagging @woodhousejay @writingamongther0ses @blind-the-winds @mecharose @talesofsorrowandofruin or anybody and of course no pressure (this is probably not everybody's cup of tea)

[javybewory]

Novel Progress Pt. 1

I recently posted a "Brainstorm With Me" YouTube video that doubles as a Pomodoro Method video. I thought it would be fun to do a small post where I break down where I am at in the process of writing my novel.

You can see in the video that I blurred out my main screen. There are crucial plot and character details that would spoil anyone interested in reading it in the future. I have just started working on this story, so brainstorming has taken most of my time. I am using Milanote to organize my ideas which has been a great tool thus far. There are many useful programs out there that I should familiarize myself with, but for now, I'll just go with what I know.

It's crazy how early on in the story one can start to find plot holes and confusing character arcs. You'll see me close my eyes and concentrate many times throughout my video, which is me trying to find creative solutions to any concerns I have about the story. I love the setting and the characters in my arsenal, but the power system I chose to go with has been a little complicated to figure out, so I still have some progress to make on that front.

It will be difficult for me to move forward from this brainstorming phase; I tend to over-plan and obsess over small details. I often get derailed from one aspect of my book to another. For example, I'll be thinking about characters and suddenly get a great idea for the plot or the power system. This novel is a character-driven story so every aspect feeds into each other, but sometimes I wish I could finish one thought before moving on to the next.

At certain points in the video, you'll see me use Pinterest on my second monitor. If you haven't used Pinterest to get an idea of what your characters or your settings look like, let me be the first to commend you on being different. Is it an unnecessary step to create Pinterest boards about your story? Probably. However, I enjoy that process; it adds saturation to my brainstorming phase.

Another common experience among writers is chasing the perfect name for your characters. Thankfully I have so many dead stories with names that I love, so I often borrow from my past projects. It is always a struggle to balance the unique names that I come up with and the common names in the world; I don't want my readers to have a hard time pronouncing or remembering my character's names. In the video, I often pulled out my notebooks to come up with names inspired by people in my family or someone I admire. I typically change the arrangement of the letters to make the name look or sound different. It is always so fun seeing a new name unfold from an old one.

I did make a major change in the story while I was recording. It was in regards to how a group close to the main character portrayed themselves, and the change had a great impact on the tone and theme that I am trying to achieve. Changes like that inspire me to move forward with the story; it restores faith in myself and my ability to solve problems. Self-esteem is hard to come by over here LOL.

Overall, it was exciting creating a video that I would use, and I will be making more like them in the future. I am thinking about doing a read-with-me vlog next. If that is something that is interesting to you and you like writing and reading content then you should follow me on here and on YouTube.

If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading this post. I'm trying to make more friends and connections with my same interest so I would love to chat with anyone about your projects!

[ddarker-dreams]

hello ! this is my first time sending an ask and i had to say i love your writing and im excited to see where deep sea is going <3 the world youre building is so interesting and i cant wait to see whats going on with maiko darling!! i wanted to ask, whats your planning process like for longer fics like this, or how do you normally write fics in general? ive been lowkey wanting to get into writing fanfic, but im not sure how to start, especially since i worry abt writing a character wrong 😭

OMG this ask,, thank you so very much!!! deep sea ended up turning into more of a lengthy project than i originally anticipated, not that i'm complaining. i think there's a lot to explore there and i'm excited to get to everything that i have planned. as for my writing process... i learned a lot from hell within reach, which i started last year, since it was my first venture into novel length territory hrjtmkg (i still need to finish the last chapter but i'll get to it eventually). i think the main thing i learned is that organization, my greatest weakness, is vital for long fics/stories in general.

deep sea's development has been a touch cleaner than HWR since i've been trying to apply what i learned. to give some insight into the process, it looked like:

early early planning phase: getting a rough idea of what i wanted, mostly the reader’s story and how it relates to scaramouche. not very structured. just lots of ideas that didn’t even play off each other yet. i messed around with various possibilities, just kinda throwing stuff at the wall to see what would stick. brainstorming and such. 

research phase: basically what i talked about in this post! i did reading, watched interviews, the like. took a bunch of notes, made a vocabulary list, the works. this is also where i came up for the name of deep sea’s okiya, shinju-an. i ran the name through a good friend of mine who is fluent in japanese to see if my research on naming teahouses was correct, which it apparently was. phew.

plot outline 1.0: a bare bones outline. breaking down every character’s motivation, how that would move the plot along, etc. i ended up scrapping like 80% of plot outline 1.0, but the core elements remained the same. 

writing chapter 1 and crying: basically what it sounds like... kinda a rough test to see how well i could (or couldn’t) pull all these various concepts together into something coherent. 

plot outline 2.0: at this point certain things go on the chopping block. i shed a tear for each idea i liked that i must get rid of so the story makes literally any sense to anyone who isn’t me . this is where i changed misato’s role in the story (very drastically), started fleshing out maiko darling’s backstory more, along with how keiko and ishioka would impact the overall narrative rather than making them like. forgettable background characters. it was mostly the very middle of the story/the end that gave me trouble... i’m still slightly undecided on the specifics of the ending, but the general idea is figured out.

back to chapter 1 with Mostly everything figured out: most of the first chapter was finished, i just went through and cleaned it up. added lil hints that made me feel sneaky. started wondering why i put so much effort into yandere genshin impact fanfic and not my schoolwork. 

some important things to note — every time i felt discouraged or blocked by not knowing where the story should go next, i forced myself to take a break rather than soldiering in. this was kinda a new technique for me. i normally like to have everything Nice and Clean and Finished as soon as possible. i feel as if this mindset helped me a lot in the long run! a good night’s sleep is sometimes the best remedy to feeling frustrated when the story isn’t coming out like how you pictured. there’s nothing wrong with taking breaks. 

as for how i write my regular, non multi-chaptered fanfic... i kinda... just wing it. 😭 i’m sorry that probably sounds very disappointing. i wanted to challenge myself with deep sea, but for my other fics, i consider it more of a fun outlet. i’ll get an idea i like, start writing without ceasing, get to the end, and then look back/edit through the mess i just typed. it’s a lot more simple.