confrases

[unknown-jewel]

One of these days I’m just gonna fucking snap and make all the Skipper/Marlene AMVs my 12 year old self dreamed of making. What will you do then, huh?

[goldengirlchrissy]

social media exhausts me….

[severeprincesheep]

I stumbled upon a group of women on this site who, to this day, are still worshipping Jeremy Brett, the actor who played Sherlock Holmes in the Granada version of that character.

I appreciate him, don't get me wrong. He most certainly deserves to be remembered. It was at his insistence that the producers decided to stick to the original material and the world finally got a serious, quality adaptation of the Conan Doyle novels. Bless him. Men like him are very hard to find.

But the same thought crossed my mind that always does when I see women fangirling and raising their pom-poms in the air to cheer for some guy: men would never do the same for you.

So many women gush over actors, sometimes new talents, some legendary names long deceased. Entire fandoms rise and fall because of women's ability to spend endless amounts of time and money fawning over some guy, defending him from critics to the hilt, being endlessly loyal and devoted, sometimes for decades. And not just because of how hot he was either but over his intellectual and moral qualities too (either real or merely perceived by them as such).

Show me the fandom about a famous woman, alive or dead, whose members are male. Where are the male fans of the beautiful and saintly Audrey Hepburn (and no, gay men and female impersonators don't count).

Show me the men online or in real life who - sometimes decades after a woman's death! - are still defending her from slander and undeserved criticism, valuing her both as a beautiful person and as a virtuous, intelligent, great human being that they look up to as a role model who encourages them to do better, like women do in fandoms.

It never happens. The famous male loyalty that supposedly only men are capable of and women never doesn't exist. If it were up to men all women would be flavours of the month and then forgotten forever. Men don't care about women and will never be curators of their legacy.

In fact it's rule number one of misogyny: women must not be allowed to leave a legacy.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Pom!!!!! Just wanted to stop by and tell you how loved you are here in the criminal minds community. Even if you aren’t around as much, you still keep the fandom alive and I personally appreciate you a lot and every writing challenge you share. It speaks very well about you, encouraging people to write and participate and share their writing is a very nice thing to do ♥️ hope you’re doing well and I’m sending you big hugs!

-🐈‍⬛

Thank you so much, friend. Your kind words carry further than you think! Even though I've been quiet, I am still here enjoying the fandom in the little ways I can. Including interacting with lovely people like you ♥️ Thank you for being nice to some random lady on the internet for no reason. I hope you have the best day.

[nguyenfinity]

I don’t know if it’s showing up for y’all on my other Pokémonstars post ‘cause it’s getting cut off for me but. Anzu has Delibird (to help her with work) and a Chansey (to keep her alive when she does too much work)

ANYWAYS HERE’S SOME MORE ON A SEPARATE POST ‘cause the other one’s getting much longer

Rinne has a Talonflame, Hiiro caught it as a Fletchling for him when they were kids and it’s the only Pokémon he brought with him from home

Eichi and Tatsumi each have Audinos as support Pokémon for their health; Tatsumi’s is shiny and he likes saying that it looks like a mini Mayoi

I think it’s adorable when people put food Pokémon in Niki’s teams but I’d be so scared of him accidentally eating them when he’s super hungry— I mean I guess they can feed him when he’s hungry but I think he’d also have a Chansey ‘cause of the egg

Tsukasa’s Cherrim is named Blossom and he makes a point of saying it in English

Rei and Koga both have Toxtricities but Koga’s is the amped up one while Rei’s is lowkey

I was gonna say each of the Ra*bits have a different Oricorio but none of them really fit, but Mitsuru would definitely have the Pom Pom one

Subaru Gimmighoul. That’s a given. He also has a Dottler ‘cause shiny lights while Makoto has a Charjabug (to charge his electronics but also it evolving into a Vikavolt would be cool)

I can’t decide if it would be funnier for Wataru or Kanata to have a Wailord ‘cause on the one hand it’s kinda like a blimp and Wataru would have it just for the sheer ridiculousness of it, but on the other hand it’d be a Pokémon that Kanata would actually have; he’d be like “this one’s actually quite small for its species~” and it’s still the size of a building.

Eichi has an Empoleon (emperor penguin and all that) while Hokuto has a Prinplup named Polaris (prince penguin) and they’re training to be stronger out of spite

Ritsu Komala. Yeah.

@/that-fandom-lurker brought up that Arashi would absolutely have a Sylveon and my addition is that Izumi would have a Glaceon (they’re besties)

Mika would have conventionally “ugly” Pokémon but love them all the same, like he’d have a Trubbish

[underratedbananawerewolf]

Fictober 2023 Day 8

Prompt 8: “Give me that, before anything happens.”

Fandom: Honkai Star Rail

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Dan Heng couldn’t help but sigh at the two women with him. It was bad enough when he had just March to look after but then Stelle joined the party. Now he had two to watch out for. And unbelievably, Stelle was even more wild with what she got into than March had ever been. Still, he couldn’t say he hated it either. They were, after all, his best friends and the Express wouldn’t be the same without either of them. 

There were times when they tested his patience, however. Now was one of those times, the trio wandering around a ruin to find the requested item deep inside. Of course plans had never been easy when the Nameless were involved but shouldn’t have been this hard.

Stelle tossed a hand sized stone ball they had found from hand to hand, looking about her as they moved deeper. Runes had been engraved in the ball indicating that it was probably used for something here. True to her nature, the peculiar girl had managed to find it in her perpetual search for trash and chose to bring it along.  

“If you keep doing that, you’ll drop it.” Dan Heng intoned.  

“It’s fine.” She answered as calmly as ever. None of Dan Heng’s stares or warnings ever seemed to rile her. “I’m not March.” 

“I heard that!” March protested. “I’m not that clumsy.”  

“The juice on the floor at breakfast would disagree with you.” Stelle replied distantly, clearly distracted by the carvings on the wall. “Pom-Pom too.”  

“There was hardly anything left in the glass.” March grumbled before turning the corner to find a stretched hallway that led to a dead end. Or what seemed like one. “Ugh, what is that down there? Some kind of face?”  

“Probably a door.” Dan Heng squinted at the distant carving. “Or a chamber that has what we’re looking for. One of the eyes seems to be missing.”  

“I hope so. I’m tired of wandering in these creepy ruins. It’s way too much like a horror movie where some ancient curse is waiting.” The rasp of stone on stone caused the archer to jump, looking behind her with wide eyes.  

“Sorry. I kicked a rock.” Stelle apologized.  

“Don’t frighten me like that. I’m too cute to die like this.”  

Another stone grating and Stelle stumbled as the rock she stepped on shifted. Quick as a snake, Dan Heng reached out. One arm caught her, the other hand snatched the ball out of her hand before she could drop it. “Let me have it before something happens.” He sighed, making sure she was steady on her feet again.  

“Uh...guys?” March pointed as another wall opened up the way they had come and something dark came slithering out. “I think that something happened.”  

Stelle didn’t even bother to answer. With a quick glance behind her to see the creature, (Was it even something alive? She couldn’t tell) she pushed Dan Heng forward and grabbed March’s hand as she took off towards the carved face. The rumbling of the walls around them didn’t bode well for their sturdiness and she had no desire to get caught in a fight and a cave in.  

As they moved closer the carved face they had seen before began to sink, the wall above it crumbling. It was clear that the intent was to trap them. Even with the burst of speed that he put on Dan Heng knew he’d never make it in time before the hole that seemed to be the key disappeared. With a flick of his wrist and perhaps even a subconscious prayer to whatever Aeon would listen that he wasn’t dooming them all, he sent the engraved ball in his hand forward. 

Time seemed to slow down in that instance as the sphere sped forward and then with a sharp crack, slipped into the hole that seemed made for it. All went still. The rumbling of the temple quieted, the black shade freezing behind them and then slowly, a door grated open to take the face’s place.  

Safe. 

[rollforjackass]

WHOOOOOO MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!! dead reckoning spoilers under the cut

what mission impossible does in terms of fucking with my PTSD, it makes up for with hot women. amen

VERY funny chase sequences, 2 new characters who pulled their weight in gold from the second they stepped onscreen. the airport scene was immaculate, from luther & benji trying to solve shit on their own and roping ethan in in the most cryptic way possible (the bomb scene with benji broke my fucking heart) to the constant sleight of hand that reminded me of the first movie. kittridge and the white widow's semi-familial relationship was very unexpected and sweet

also, AI AS A VILLAIN!!!!!!! bitch i did not have my brain chemistry rewired by person of interest and a warforged dnd character i made just to not enjoy that. benji's voice being used to misdirect ethan fucked me up in so many ways, and its insistence on stories was very fun because as we all know, there are many different stories out in the world, and many different versions of each one. i loved that pom fulfilled the AI's prophecy that she would betray gabriel NOT BECAUSE OF THE REASON IT THOUGHT, but because it betrayed HER over a possible course she hadn't even taken yet

i AM very worried about benji for the second part, they made a point of showing him on EVERY line of that epilogue that referenced death. "the closer someone is to you, the harder to keep them alive" > benji's face (watching ethan, which says as much about benji as it could foreshadow for ethan); "should your agents be captured or killed" > benji's face. it also showed his face on a line similar to "do it alone", which makes me TERRIFIED that he'll take on the entity in the sevastapol sphere by himself and have to make a grand heroic sacrifice in the process, at which point i'll fill my pockets with stones and toss myself bodily into the nearest lake

that said, dead reckoning might be my least favorite of the franchise, and not just because it was overblown and grandiose and a two-parter. it feels like they saw the john wick movies and went 'That's what the people want', when the reason people love mission impossible in the first place is because of its rock solid ensemble cast and the elaborate deceptions that make it a Spy franchise, not just an Action one.

now the big issue. ilsa my love. i don't think ilsa is actually dead - she simply would Not lose to gabriel, she has been fighting to stay alive every second of her life - but i do think her sacrifice was necessary to get grace on their side. so i think that's a plan that we'll see pay out in the second movie.

but if it's Not a plan and they just killed her like that........girl what the fuck is happening on this day

(also the way that benji reacted to her death, and the way he hid it from the team and slapped the tears away to get back to work, thanks i hate it)

like i won't be generous with the franchise and say it's always done its female characters right - in fact i feel like 90% of the praise i see for characters like jane carter and ilsa faust comes from the fact that we as a fandom scooped them up and said 'you deserve better' and created art and fics and meta that fleshed out the parts of them that weren't created to add sex appeal/romance tom cruise. but the franchise has at least done Better for them than dead reckoning did. they didn't even give pom's character a name, dude (EDIT YES THEY DID I’M A FOOL HER NAME IS PARIS)

i think their problem is that they are Very Very good at creating wonderfully complex and obviously flawed female characters, but when they don't know what to do with them anymore, they fall into a box that says Ethan's Love Interest. and by god i will wrest grace from that box so long as i am breathing i can tell you that

that said, i can see why they made the creative choices that come across to me as bad faith. pom being a nameless henchman but ethan Still goes out of his way to save her life hammers home the ways that humans are different from AI, and how unique ethan is as an agent. grace's name being a random throwaway alias that she is then trapped with bc she keeps being chased by the people she used it with is reminiscent of her stealing the key and then being trapped in an epic struggle she never wanted. even ilsa dying is a way for her to take her story into her own hands: after so long of being treated as dispensable by MI-6 and the syndicate, she is the one who decides when and who she dies for, and why she dies. (even though she's not dead)

anyway, complaints aside, always a fun movie. extremely funny car chase. women are hot. pom klementieff is feral and i adore her. i have thoughts for days and that mission impossible fic i've got going is about to take OFF

[prolix-yuy]

LJ my love.

the ending of this past academic year ATE me alive but i’m back. i’m back and i’m writing a sequel to my longfic and i’m thirsting over our man and i’m mourning the end of Mando season 3 because i expected so much better from the showrunners and i’m in the fucking MOOD to write something more satisfying myself.

but anyways i jsut wanted to ask if you have any fic reccs to help inaugurate me into the fandom again 🙏🏼

missed u lots,

eash

Lovely Eash! Welcome back! School is a beast and I'm waving little pom-poms for you getting through it!

A sequel? Do tell... ;)

Ohhhhh Mando S3. I was just bemoaning it with @lowlights and how fic writers would have done such a better job of making a cohesive and emotionally impactful story. I still enjoyed lots of parts of it (space Lizzo, IG-11's return, the fucking CAPTURE SCENES GAHHHHHH) but there's a lot to be desired with the emotional impact. I am so very excited to see what fic writers do with the crumbs we were given - we're very good at making a story out of nothing after all ;)

Ahhh fic recs! I have so many! There has been a TON of Joel fics of course. A few quick recs would be @fuckyeahdindjarin's Seams series and @ezrasbirdie's Surrender series (both ongoing), but there are heaps and heaps out there. I've got a handful of series waiting in my queue to read, but for everything I've devoured recently you can always check out my Prolix Fic Recs tag! I tag everything I read and reblog with this, oneshots and series alike!

Welcome back my darling, I hope you enjoy diving back in to the fun!

[kermit-coded]

If There Was Ever Anyone To Get Through This Life With Their Heart Still Intact, They Didn't Do It Right (6768 words) by pop_and_lock Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Young Justice (Cartoon) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bart Allen/Jaime Reyes Characters: Jaime Reyes, Bart Allen, Other(s) Additional Tags: Speed Force, Not Really Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Friends to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV Alternating, Eobard Thawne | Harrison Wells Being an Asshole, background spitfire, Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Future Fic, my knowledge of reverse flash is limited to a couple arrowverse eps, i watched like 2 plus yrs ago, so like probs ooc but idc, Wally West is Alive, Coming Out, Catholic Character of Color, Internalized Homophobia, Reunited and It Feels So Good, First Kiss, Making Out, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Together, pre-bluepulse ot3 Summary: The Speed Force takes Bart. Or a story told in intervals, including pom pom sweaters, long-awaited family reunions, and grief.

[highsviolets]

OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

The absolutely beautiful, poetic filth you put into the universe is beyond redemption and I am looking, I tell you.

I am so happy you ran with that idea because it is so unique, and don’t get me started on caliber of work because it is a 7 gauge needle directly into my freaking veins, dude.

I have been so happy to talk with you about fandom in the past, and now all things writing and life, and I have so much support and love for you, know that I’d be waving pom poms if I had them.

Love & yearning, bby

-mother of yearning (LTB)

my dear, you flatter me with your kind words. 

and speaking of talent -- can we talk about yours for a hot sec? because you have taught me so much, your vision is so clear and precise and there’s so much joy I read in your words. You enjoy writing, and it always comes through. 

I see your proverbial pom-poms, and know that if I could do one of those cool cheerleading routines I would, cheering you on in all things. 

and voice actor!ezra would NOT still be alive without you -- thank you from keeping me from throwing that idea out the window. 

[siverwrites]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 英雄伝説 閃の軌跡 | Sen no Kiseki | The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel (Video Games) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Towa Herschel, Angelica Rogner Summary: The civil war is over and they'll all be leaving soon but that won't stop Angelica whisking Towa away one more time.

Done for Trick or Treat exchange. Gift for the the_exile

Dreichels plaza was as bustling as always. Towa stood in a bubble of her own by one of the two fountains and watched the water, glancing up every now and then toward the street. The tram arrived, but it wasn’t what she waited for and she watched passengers leave and board before it departed again.

It felt strange to watch the hustle around her while having no part of it. Of course she had been quite busy that very morning with last minute preparations for the train tomorrow and her schedule would fill quickly again, but for now this was a rare and quiet moment of waiting.

She didn’t have to wait much longer before the familiar mechanical hum reached her ears accompanied by the gasps of awe and admiration. Angelica rode in, her orbal bike drawing appreciative gazes and she slowed to a stop near Towa.

“I didn’t keep you waiting, did I?” Angelica asked. “It took a little longer at the bakery than planned.”

“Oh no,” Towa said. “It wasn’t long at all and it was nice to just take this all in again one more time.” She looked over the bike; while it was very similar in a lot of respects there were also some noticeable differences in the sleek darker colours. “The new bike looks really good!”

“Yeah, she’s a real beauty,” Angelica practically purred. “Reinford’s still got it. Even Alisa got her hands on it in the end. Ready to see how it feels?”

Towa clambered up behind Angelica and shifted around until she was comfortable and holding on. After passing smoothly through the streets of Heimdallr they were soon out into the highway, wind whipping through their hair and trees speeding by.

How long had it been since Angelica last took her out like this? It hadn’t been so long, Towa knew, but it felt like a lifetime ago. In some ways maybe it was. So much had happened the past year. So much had changed and of course they all knew things would be different, but not like this. George had already set off on his factory tour. And Crow… Towa found herself leaning against Angelica’s back. She was here, alive and shining, straightforward and true.

Angelica turned off the road and slowed just a bit as she drove them over the sloping more rugged path up a small hill. Soon they reached the top and left the bike parked to sit on the grass overlooking the highway and the fields below. Before Towa could react Angelica sat behind her and gently pulled away her hair-tie letting her hair flow loose.

“Angie…”

Her hands rested on Towa’s shoulders. “That’s what I thought. You’re wound up tighter than old Heinrich on a festival day.”

“I’m okay, really.”

“Not what these are telling me,” Angelica retorted as her hands rubbed over Towa’s shoulders.

Maybe she was right as Towa felt some of the tension she’d stopped giving any notice fade a bit—tension that had been there for how long? Since the funeral? The end of the civil war? No, the Courageous? And what of before, when Trista came under attack and they all had to part ways in retreat? Or the attack on the trade conference… or…  What of now when everything felt balanced on a knife tip?

Her eyes stung. Angelica’s arms suddenly came around her and her voice was low in her ear. “I’ve got you this time.”

With a nudge from Angelica Towa turned in her arms. She’d tried, she really had, but now no matter how she blinked and swallowed, she couldn’t stop the swell of tears or the rising lump in her throat, and Angelica pressed her closer, and her hands ran through her hair, and she couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“I knew it,” was all Angelica said as she wept against her.

I’m sorry, she tried to say but the words wouldn’t come. She had to be strong; there were so many others suffering worse things… but Angelica’s warm embrace cracked through all her barriers and maybe, just this once, this was okay.

When Towa finally regained control of her breath she pulled back while wiping at her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You brought me out here to have a nice time and I…”

“Hey, none of that. I brought you out here to take care of you. You’re always looking after everyone else; it’s your turn now.” Angelica stretched out a hand to reach for the large basket she’d brought. “Besides this isn’t going anywhere and if you can enjoy it more now all the better.”

Towa gave a watery smile. “Thanks Angie… I-I guess everything hit harder than I thought…”

“You just held it all in,” Angelica said dryly before rising to return to the bike. She quickly returned with a blanket that she then laid out on the grass and before they knew it they had everything from the basket placed—thick sandwiches on freshly baked bread, fruit and cakes—and Angelica poured from a thermos into a cup and passed it to Towa. “Still warm too.”

It was tea and one of Towa’s favourites, she knew immediately by smell, before even tasting it. It was a comfort as she cupped it close.

They sat beside each other, eating and passing each other different treats to try until their food dwindled. A light breeze blew through the grass and the sun was warm. Fluffy white clouds dotted blue skies and Towa abruptly lay back in the grass to stare up that sky.

“Grandpa used to take me out sometimes to watch the clouds. Stargazing was our favourite, but he used to ask me what shapes I saw in the clouds and I really liked that too.”

“Yeah?” Angelica flopped next to her. “So what do you see today?”

“Hmm. That one,” she said pointing at a round puffy cloud, “is kind of like a pom, right?”

Angelica chuckled. “Well, I see a bit of a cat over there.”

They spent the next several minutes picking out lopsided shapes in the clouds before their conversation turned to their plans for the future and to their past memories and everything and anything in between. She was going to miss this, Towa thought in a pause in their conversation. But, they would do this again. She’d be so busy time would fly by and Angelica would be back before she knew it. She would sweep in on that bike and whisk her away again and they would trade stories of all they’d done over the year. And this lightness Angelica brought would come back. She greatly looked forward to it, but right now, she decided, was just right too.

[brianna-lei]

Anonymous Butterfly Soup asks, batch 6

IT’S RIGHT NEXT TO THE BIG TOBLERONE I’M ALIVE

Being covered by a big gaming news site was one of my fantasies, so I’m elated this happened. The article is here, for anyone curious! 

More asks under the cut!! 

A note before I start -- if you submitted a bug, I saw it!! Thank you for reporting them!

Yes, she did! Her Facebook profile pic is her posing in front of a store at the mall, and you can see Jun’s reflection taking the pic in the store window

Akarsha didn’t realize, but Noelle totally heard it. Noelle kind of had a sense of what was up already, but actually hearing it worried her. She was debating whether or not to intervene when Min showed up. 

On a small note, Min trying to cheer Akarsha up slightly improved Noelle’s opinion of Min (even though Min and Akarsha almost end up fist fighting again afterward).  

Min plays video games too, imagine them playing Team Fortress 2 and later Overwatch together... Diya, Min, and Noelle have all seen some basic anime like Pokemon, Digimon, and Yugioh, but Akarsha’s the only real hardcore anime fan. I’m glad she met “Sakura”, “Yuki”, and Ester through the baseball club, because now she has weeb friends to talk about that stuff too. 

(Ester is less obvious about liking anime than “Sakura” and “Yuki”, but you can still tell by her outfit’s style. Lowkey but not lowkey enough)

I can totally relate to all of them, but I’d say Diya!

Yes, they grow close over the course of the year and Noelle has to try really hard not to cry LMAO They still keep in touch afterward. 

Yep, they both feel this huge gulf between themselves and their parents due to cultural differences. Many Asian immigrant parents are extremely conservative so it feels like they’re on a completely different wavelength from you, and at the same time they have complete power over you. It’s kind of a bad feeling.  

...Also, shadowing their faces saved me the work of drawing their different facial expressions. 

Min was actually out of town when the fire happened, so Diya had to call her and tell her what happened :( Diya (and eventually Min) sleeps on Noelle’s couch for a bit. Noelle and Akarsha aren’t living together at the time and Noelle has the nicer/cleaner apartment  

It sounds really miserable, but they’re ok in the end

Noelle's passion is math and science, so she definitely ends up doing something in STEM that she likes, just not what her parents were expecting. Akarsha is similar and becomes a software engineer -- They’re actually both naturally interested in those subjects, which says a lot about how bad the parental pressure really is.  

I like to think Diya and Min actually manage to break into minor league baseball and eventually MLB

Most of my outfit inspiration comes from my tumblr/twitter feeds. I wish I could recommend you fashion blogs, but I’m not following any?! They’re all just fandom mutuals who randomly reblog cool clothes sometimes. 

I used to have trouble deciding what clothes characters should wear, so every time I see an image of a cool outfit I save it for reference. After doing this since high school I now have...uh...

And those are just the unorganized ones, the ones i have in folders are like...

Now if I’m stumped for what a character should wear, I just browse these massive folders for inspiration. I can actually pinpoint the omocat jacket that gave me the idea for Min’s:

I thought, “it should be a warning: high voltage sign on the back!”, and then I just went on Google images and looked them up. 

Sorry if this isn’t helpful! 

I don’t think Min really minds, but The Squad is even better! Deke squad

Yeah, Akarsha’s parents wouldn’t approve either. Out of the main four, Diya is actually the only one whose parents are fine with it 

Ooh thank you this is an awesome compliment to receive!! 

I REALLY want to make merch some day! I’ve never made physical merch before and I’m a bit intimidated not knowing where to start/how to handle shipping, so it may take a while, though :( 

I didn’t give anyone last names and I doubt I ever will, sorry! Feel free to give them your own if you want 

This was intentional, but at the same time I can’t believe everyone IMMEDIATELY noticed. You guys are so in tune with 4/20

Diya and Akarsha are Indian, Min-seo is Korean, Noelle is Taiwanese, Chryssa is black, Liz is…mostly Irish, I think? “Sakura” is Pakistani, “Yuki” is Filipino. I’ve heard a lot of guesses for Ester, but she’s half black and half Chinese!

i got u son!!

Thank you, I really love hearing this because the feeling that this narrative was missing was what made me want to make this game in the first place! 

you might feel a bit more sympathetic to min when you reach her part of the story! Your mileage may vary, though

If you want to make a game like Butterfly Soup, try the program Renpy! It doesn’t require programming experience to use and there’s a lot of guides online on how to use it.  My NUMBER ONE BIG ADVICE IS MAKE A REALLY, REALLY SMALL GAME FIRST. My first game, Pom Gets Wi-Fi, was only 30-45 minutes long. If you make it any bigger than that, you almost guaranteed will never finish it. The dream game that you want to make is probably longer than that, so don’t make your dream game first! That’s kind of why I was so alarmed when Pom Gets Wi-Fi took off -- I’m very proud of that game and still love it, but it was like my test for the games I dreamed of making like Butterfly Soup. (Also, 17 is a great age to start making games, good for you!) Other stuff I’ve learned:  Programming: I mostly learned super specific things that can’t be easily applied to other situations. If you want to know how I did a specific thing in Renpy, message me! 

Writing: If you’re struggling to write something, it might be for a good reason. Maybe the scene is unnecessary or boring, your mental image of the scene doesn’t translate well to the format of your work, or the character motivations aren’t convincing enough. Deleting a scene altogether isn’t defeat, sometimes it’s the best path forward! Give up more! 

Artwise: Drawing for non-pixel art games takes FOREVER. The sheer amount of time it’d take to draw all the characters and backgrounds was so demoralizing that I found myself procrastinating because I didn’t want to tackle it. Not only did I have a large cast of characters (9 in the baseball club alone), but because of flashbacks, I had to draw half of them again as kids!

To anyone thinking about making a game by themselves, SERIOUSLY consider making it a pixel art game. If you’re that set on making a non-pixel art game, SEVERELY limit the number of characters and backgrounds you have to draw!! I’m begging u...learn from my mistakes... 

You’re welcome!!! :> 

I loved USC! The Interactive Media major was cool and fun -- I met a lot of good friends through the program! It was probably the best few years of my life. 

Unfortunately...I felt like it did nothing to prepare me for finding a job. There are very few classes for aspiring game artists and game writers. There wasn’t a single professor who worked as an artist at a triple A studio while I was there, and only one who was a major writer. I get that you gotta be self motivated, but I wish I had someone in the faculty I felt comfortable discussing my career path with. Some of the professors had clear favorite students and if you weren’t one of them, they’d make very little effort to reach out to you or interact with you. I know I'm introverted, but I never got this feeling with my general elective classes -- I had plenty of chances to talk to my writing professor, architecture lab professor, art teacher, etc., yet I came out of a lot of my Interactive Media classes wondering if my professors even remembered me.  

If you want to be a game designer or maybe a writer, and are really focused/outgoing with your professors, it could be the major for you, but if you want to be a game artist I’m not sure it’s the best place to be. 

I was actually crazy stressed out when it came out, so nope! It’s happening this weekend  

I was super nervous right after it came out because I was worried people wouldn’t like it! I put a lot into it, and actually teared up writing parts of it, so it was a ridiculous relief to see that people were touched by it. I’m really happy now and really want to make a sequel.  Also, I’m beyond grateful to my friends/mutuals/fans spreading the word and tweeting/posting about the game and making fancontent ;~; I really owe everything to them!  A few people wondered about how I was holding up attention-wise, and actually...as a fanartist I sort of thrive on this, haha. Also, this is much less intense than when I released Pom Gets Wi-Fi. For perspective, it took Butterfly Soup a week to reach the number of downloads Pom got in one day. 

Good!!! You’re welcome! 

you’re welcome!!! 

[aestherians]

There are no journals, scientific papers, or studies on otherkin. It’s all junk science. Meaning, it’s fake science used to discredit all scientific research and studies. Otherkin is just emo kids with too much time on their hands, it doesn’t exist.

“no journals, scientific papers, or studies on otherkin”

But you know what? I’m feeling generous today. How about I give you a list of resources instead of a link to the list, since a lot of you guys seem unable to click links. Here you go:

Academic Book

Bronner, Simon J. and Cindy Dell Clark, Youth Cultures in America. Santa Barbara: Greenwood, 2016.(Furry Fandom pages 274 -277 and Otherkin pages 530-533)

Johnston, Jay. “Chapter 42: Vampirism, Lycanthropy, and Otherkin.” In The Occult World, by Christopher Partridge, 412-423. New York: Routledge, 2014.

Johnston, Jay. "On Having a Furry Soul: Transpecies Identity and Ontological Indeterminacy In Otherkin Subcultures,” Animal Death, edited by Jay Johnston and Fiona Probyn-Rapsey, 293-306. Sydney: Sydney University Press, 2013.

Kirby, Danielle. Fantasy and Belief: Alternative Religions, Popular Narratives, and Digital Cultures. Bristol: Equinox Publishing, 2013.

Kirby, Danielle. "From Pulp Fiction to Revealed Text: A Study of the Role of the Test in the Otherkin Community." In Exploring Religion and the Sacred, edited by Christopher Deacy and Elisabeth Arweck, 141- 154.  Burlington, VT: Ashgate, 2009.

Kirby, Danielle. "Readers, believers, consumers, and Audiences: Complicating the Relationship Between Consumption and Contemporary Narrative Spiritualties." In Australian Journal of Communication, edited by Roslyn Petelin, 121-133. St. Lucia: The University of Queensland Press, 2012.

Laycock, Joseph P. Dangerous Games: What the Moral Panic over Role-Playing Games Says about Play, Religion, and Imagined Worlds. Oakland: University of California Press, 2015.(Pages 169-176, 199-200, 204-205 mentions otherkin, real-life vampires, and therians)

Laycock, Joseph. Spirit Possession Around The World: Possession, Communion, and Demon Expulsion Across Cultures, Santa Barbara, ABC-CLIO, 2015.(Pages 265 to 266 is a section on otherkin)

Nelson, Victoria. Gothicka: Vampire Heroes, Human Gods, and the New Supernatural. Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 2012.(Briefly goes over otherkin and fictionkin on page 58).

Plante, Courtney N., Reysen, Stephen, Roberts, Sharon E., Gerbasi, Kathleen C., FurScience! A Summary of Five Years of Research from the International Anthropomorphic Research Project. Waterloo: FurScience, 2016.

Shane, Margaret. “Chapter 16: Some People Aren't People On The Inside.” In Educational, Psychological, and Behavioral Considerations In Niche Online Communities, by Vivek Venkatesh, 260 - 271. Hershey: Information Science Reference, 2014.

Academic Dissertation & Thesis

Allan, Troy D. Other-Than-Humans: A Qualitative Narrative Inquiry Into The Spiritual Development of Therians. Argosy University, July 2014.

Altmann, Eric Stephen. Posthum/an/ous: Identity, Imagination, and the Internet. Appalachian State University, 2010.

Bricker, Natalie. Life Stories of Therianthropes: An Analysis of Nonhuman Identity in a Narrative Identity Model, Lake Forest College, April 2016, http://publications.lakeforest.edu/seniortheses/63/  .

Getzler, Melanie. Othering Among Otherkin: the discursive negotiation of the face-threat of exclusionary othering in a demarginalizing Internet community, Bloomington: Indiana University, 2013.

Academic Article

Coudray, Chantal Bourgault Du. "The Cycle of the Werewolf: Romantic Ecologies of Selfhood in Popular Fantasy," Austrailia Feminist Studies, Vo.l 18 No. 40 (June 9 2003): pp 57 -72.http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0816464022000056376?journalCode=cafs20 (accessed March 18 2016).(Article in general deals with people using werewolves as a way of delving into the connection between  "nature and spirit" and directly talks about therianthropy (with a specific focus on those who identify as werewolves) on pages 67-68.)

Cusack, Carole M.. "Spirituality and Self-Realization As 'Other-Than-Human': The Otherkin and Therianthropy Communities" https://www.academia.edu/12572512/Spirituality_and_Self-Realisation_as_Other-Than-Human_The_Otherkin_and_Therianthropy_Communities (accessed March 2016).

Feijó, Pedro. "Doctors Herding Cats: The Misadventures of Modern Medicine and Psychology with NonHuman Identities,"  University of Cambridge, 2016.

Gangadharan, Tara. "Social Network Sites as Evolving Subculture," Discourse. Vol. 3 No., 1 (March 2015): pp 234-246.(Defines otherkin in passing on page 236 as "people who believe they are non-human and take on imaginary characters such as vampires, elves or fairies.")

Gerbasi, Kathleen C. et al, "Furries A to Z: (Anthropomorphism to Zoomorphism)." Society and Animals, Vol.16 (2008): pp 197-222. (accessed January 28, 2013).(Goes over the topic of "species identity disorder")

Grivell, Timothy, Helen Clegg and Elizabeth C. Roxburgh. “An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis of Identity in the Therian Community.” Identity: An International Journal of Theory and Research. Vol. 14, No. 2, (May 2014): pp 114-135. 

Hendrickson, Kate M., Teresita McCarty, and Jean M. Goodwin. “Animal Alters: Case Reports,” Dissociation, Vol. III, No. 4 (December 1990) https://scholarsbank.uoregon.edu/xmlui/handle/1794/1854 (accessed March 27 2015).(Article is about animal alters in cases of people diagnosed with MPD (now called DID), but as the alters do identify as nonhuman animals the article might still be on interest to some.)

Keck et al, “Lycanthropy: Alive and Well In The Twentieth Century,” Psychological  Medicine. Vol. 18, No. 1 (Feb., 1988): pp 113-20. http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=4990600&fileId=S003329170000194X (accessed August 29 2014).(Article includes discussion about a man who identified as a cat since childhood and whose identification did not change with treatment over the course of over six years)

Kirby, Danielle. “Alternative Worlds: Metaphysical Questing and Virtual community Among the Otherkin.” In Through a Glass Darkly: Reflections on the Sacred, edited by Frances Di Lauro, 275-287.Sydney: Sydney University Press, 2006.

Kulick, Aaron, Pope HG Jr, & Keck PE Jr. “Lycanthropy and Self-Identification.” The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, Vol. 2 ( Feb. 1990): pp 134-137 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2405100 (October 14 2014).(Case Report of a man who had identified as a cat since childhood, whose identification did not change with any treatment given, and simply identified as a cat and did not have the delusion of physically being one.)

Laycock, Joseph P. “We Are Spirits of Another Sort: Ontological Rebellion and Religious Dimensions of the Otherkin Community." Nova Religio. Vol. 15, No. 3 (Feb., 2012): pp. 65-90 http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1525/nr.2012.15.3.65 (accessed November 24 2013).

O’Callaghana, Sean. "Navigating the ‘other’ world: cyberspace, popular culture and the realm of the Otherkin," Culture and Religion. Vol. 16 No. 3 (Nov 2015): pp 253-268.

Probyn-Rapsey, Fiona. "Furries and Limits of Species Identity Disorder," Society & Animals, Vol. 19 (2011): pp 294-301 https://www.academia.edu/2903078/Furries_and_limits_of_species_identity_disorder (accessed January 28, 2013).(Goes over the topic of "species identity disorder")

Riley Elizabeth A, "Adolescent Gender Diversity Assessment: An In-depth Collaborative Conversation," Journal of Child & Adolescent Behavior. Vol. 3, No. 5 (September 4 2015): pp 1-6. (accessed January 3, 2015).(Mentions otherkin on page 4 though only in passing)

Roberts, S., Plante, C., Gerbasi, K., & Reysen, S., "Clinical Interaction with Anthropomorphic Phenomenon: Notes for Health Professionals about Interacting with Clients Who Possess This Unusual Identity," Health & Social Work, Volume 40, Issue 2 (February 2015):pp 42-50.(Mentions therians as well as touches on the topic on identify as and with animals.)

Roberts, Sharon E., Courtney N. Plante, Kathleen C. Gerbasi, and Stephen Reysen. "The Anthrozoomorphic Identity: Furry Fandom Members’ Connections to Nonhuman Animals," Anthrozoös. Volume 28, Issue 4 (December 2 2015): pp 533-548.(While the article is focused on furries, the article does touch on the topic of identifying as and/or with animals.)

Robertson, Venetia Laura Delano. "The Beast Within: Anthrozoomorphic Identity and Alternative Spirituality in the Online Therianthropy Movement." Nova Religio, Vol. 16, No. 3 (Feb 2013): pp. 7-30 http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1525/nr.2013.16.3.7 (accessed November 24 2013).

Robertson, Venetia. "The Law of the Jungle: Self and Community in the Online Therianthropy Movement."Pomegranate: The International Journal of Pagan Studies, Vol 14, No 2 (Dec., 2012): Pp 256-280 http://www.equinoxpub.com/journals/index.php/POM/article/view/17911 (accessed January 28, 2013).

Robertson, Venetia Laura Delano, “ Where Skin Meets Fin: The Mermaid as Myth, Monster and Other-Than-Human Identity.” Journal for the Academic Study of Religion, Vol 26, No 3 (2013): pp 303-323. http://www.equinoxpub.com/journals/index.php/JASR/article/viewArticle/18597 (accessed October 1 2015).

Smith, Stanley G. “Disorder With Human and Non-human Subpersonality Components,” Dissociation, Vol. 2, No. 1 (March 1989) https://scholarsbank.uoregon.edu/xmlui/handle/1794/1415 (accessed March 27 2015).(Article is about a case of someone diagnosed with MPD (now called DID) of mostly animal alters, but as the alters do identify as nonhuman animals the article might still be on interest to some.)

Williams, Emyr. "A Quantitative Investigation Into The Paranormal Beliefs of Contemporary Vampire Subculture," Paranthropology, Vol. 7, No.1 (2016): pp 33-39.

Lecture

Addie, Trevor. “Therianthropy: A State of Being,” ANTH-331 "Taboos," American University, March 5th 2013, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMEkuOW5pjs (accessed August 20 2014).

Podcast or Radio

Amber, Ashlee, Branden, and Dave. “Episode 6: Otherkin,” Pagan Centered Podcast, May 30 2006, http://pagancenteredpodcast.com/episode-6-otherkin/

Ashlee, Dave, Jason, and Sam. “Episode 50: The Pagan Taboo (Otherkin Episode),” Pagan Centered Podcast, December 9 2007, http://pagancenteredpodcast.com/episode-50-the-pagan-taboo-otherkin-episode/

Amber, Ashlee, Barbara, Branden, and Dave. “Episode 131: How Can we Study Otherkin?,“ Pagan Centered Podcast, December 23 2009,  http://pagancenteredpodcast.com/episode-131-how-can-we-study-otherkin/

Amber, Branden, Dave, and Joe. “220: Otherkin - The Power of Names,“ Pagan Centered Podcast, December 14 2011, http://pagancenteredpodcast.com/220-otherkin-the-power-of-names/

Archer, S.A., Sherri Semine, and S. Ravynheart. “Real Life Vampires and Werewolves,” Ultimate Urban Fantasy Podcast, June 30, 2013, aprox. ~ 1 hour, http://www.ultimateurbanfantasy.com/tag/therian/

Bell, Art, Father Malachi Martin, and Lance Foxx. “Lycanthropy,” Coast to Coast AM, July 11 1997, aprox. ~ 4 minutes.

Daoust, Phil. "G2: Radio: Pick of the day" The Guardian, 30 Aug 2001 2:15 PM.

Emshir, “Podcast 1.” To Be Unicorn Podcast, 2006, aprox. ~ 30 minutes.

Emshir, “Podcast 2.” To Be Unicorn Podcast, 2006, aprox. ~ 50 minutes.

Fickerfly Zara, “Always Believe,” Always Believe, August 2008, aprox. ~ 20 minutes

Jones , Dave, Savage, and Night FireWolf.  “Werewolves: The Truth From Those Who Are,” KAPS Radio, Para-X, October 18 2009, aprox. 2 hours, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86_dZoZNXRk

Kimmijae, Jody, Werewolf of Waldor, and SerrpentineZebra.  “Therianthropy,” The Reign, ParaX , April 31, 2011, aprox. ~ 1 hour

Madrid, Bob. “WolfMage’s Radio Interview,” News Radio, Uath County, October 31 2000, aprox. ~ 24 minutes.

Polson, Willow. The Veil's Edge: Exploring the Boundaries of Magic. New York,: Citadel Press, 2003.(Pages 91 - 115 deals with otherkin)

Punnett, Ian. “Otherkin Calls and More,” Coast to Coast AM, January 5, 2007, aprox. ~ 3 hours, http://www.coasttocoastam.com/shows/2007/01/05

Punnett, Ian and Jason The Horse.  “Man With Horse Soul” Coast to Coast Live, January 20, 2007, aprox. 2 hours 30 minutes

Punnett, Ian and Jason The Horse.  “Horse in a Human Form,” Coast to Coast AM, June 10 2009, aprox. 2 hours,  http://www.coasttocoastam.com/show/2009/06/20

Punnett, Ian and Jason The Horse.  “Horse in a Human Body,” Coast to Coast AM, December 18 2010, aprox. 2 hours,  http://www.coasttocoastam.com/show/2010/12/18

Punnett, Ian and Jason The Horse.  “Ian’s Farewell Show,” Coast to Coast AM, July 14 2013, aprox. 3 hours,  http://www.coasttocoastam.com/show/2013/07/14

RevKess and KaliSara. “Dark of the Year & Other Kin,” Pagan Musings Podcast Channel, BlodTalkRadio.com, November 19 2011, 2 hours 2 minutes,  http://hosts.blogtalkradio.com/pagan-musings/2011/11/20/dark-of-the-year-other-kin

RevKess and KaliSara. “Other Kin Encore” Pagan Musings Podcast Channel, BlodTalkRadio.com, January 8 2012, apex. 2 hours,  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/pagan-musings/2012/01/08/other-kin-encore

Tsunami and Pirate, “T.T.K.,” Luna Sanguinus, BlogTalkRadio.com, February 11, 2012, 30 minutes, http://www.blogtalkradio.com/luna-sanguinus/2012/02/11/ttk

Ward, W.B. and Jason the Horse. “Jason - A Horse In a Human Body.” WXBX Ward, BlogTalkRadio.com, August 6, 2009, 1 hour, http://www.blogtalkradio.com/wb-ward/2009/08/07/skeptic-beliefs-with-wb-ward

Survey Result

Asikaa, ">>> THE GREAT AHWW SURVEY! https://groups.google.com/forum/?fromgroups#!topic/alt.horror.werewolves/OcrxF8eZxKQ [accessed May 18 2013]

Cheetah, “Therian Census,” Werelist. August 14 2013. https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B4uX28ws5wsHLWpMWEJjWXhYeHc/edit (accessed August 18 2013).

Kin-spiration,  “2014 Tumblr Otherkin Census,” Tumblr. June 26 2014. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1smXR1D_oAq8udYyrLoF8juLUeOHgHBhszmqDGFjGhiE/edit#gid=0 (accessed August 25 2015).

Utlah, “AHWw Poll'97 - The RESULTS!” alt.horror.werewolves, November 9 1997, https://groups.google.com/forum/?fromgroups=#!searchin/alt.horror.werewolves/results$2097/alt.horror.werewolves/lYqSQB2DVQM/FGPjBFzqarQJ (accessed August 18 2013).

White Wolf, “2012 Therian Census Results. Werelist. June 21 2012. https://www.dropbox.com/s/ythgrrx7ez25f6l/TSurvey.pptx (accessed June 25 2012).

White Wolf, “2013 Therian Census Results. Werelist. March 17 2014. https://www.dropbox.com/s/y8vmmanknlvqpek/2013%20TSurvey.pptx (accessed March 30 2014).

Other

"A Proposed Diagnostic Definition for Species Dysphoria," THETA, http://theta.kinfire.org/?page_id=7 (accessed July 1 2013).

Buxton, Alex. "Why be human when you can be otherkin?," University of Cambridge, July 16 2016,  http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/features/why-be-human-when-you-can-be-otherkin (accessed August 10 2016).

Donovan, Laura. "4 People Who Don't Consider Themselves Human," ATTN, February 2 2016, http://www.attn.com/stories/5609/otherkin-therian-people-see-themselves-as-animals (accessed May 26 2016).

Gorath, “The Wilde Side: A Therian’s Perspective,” Psionics Institute, October 20th 2012,  http://psionicsinstitute.org/classes/miscellaneous/the-wild-side-a-therians-perspective/ (accessed December 29 2015).

Proyen, Mark Van. "Robin Ward at Lisa Dent," Art in America, Vol. 93, No. 9, (Oct 2005): 189.

Robertson, Venetia. "Therianthropy," World Religion & Spirituality Project VCU, 11 October 2015, http://wrs.vcu.edu/profiles/Therianthropy.htm (accessed December 13 2015).

Webster, David. "What is meant by the term 'Otherkin'?," July 22 2014, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNs0mZh7fkY (accessed March 28 2016).

[an-exhausting-existence]

[redacted]

I don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage to admit this to anyone, but I’ve seriously considered it twice in my life.

First, I was probably in 6th grade. (Yeah, I know that’s pretty young.) I felt invisible. I felt alone. I couldn’t relate to any of my peers. I felt like my existence meant nothing, and thus, neither would my disappearance. I knew I wouldn’t kill myself then, but I had thought that I for sure would at least attempt to when I got older. I had hoped that when the time came, i would have someone in my life to stop me. Funny, how I thought I’d be sad even when i was older.

My life did get better after that. I found people like me. Maybe not in person, but online. It gave me comfort to know that at least somewhere out there, someone was feeling the same way I did or liked the same things I did. It was validation that I wasn’t an anomaly in the world. Not going to lie, I really think my fandoms a saved me from life lived alone. I did not mind the lunches I spent alone reading a book or a fanfic. I enjoyed disappearing into these worlds. And then I found friends in school who I could share these worlds with, and suddenly I wasn’t alone anymore. Well, at least for a while.

Looking back, I’m surprised I didn’t consider it in freshman year here at Ateneo. That year was tough. There were times I was crying every other night, feeling like a disappointment. I can’t imagine how faithful and enduring I was. Go 2016 me! But I guess the years wore me down. I thought I was getting better, but here I am in my senior year, more insecure than ever. Failure after failure, rejection after rejection. It finally got to me.

The second time was pretty recent, so the memory is still very vivid. I had just come from my POM LT1. I bombed the test. As if my feeling of failure was not enough, I had to go to recollection, where I had to re-live my Immersion experience basically cueing my feelings of unworthiness and guilt. I got into a fight with my sister. I was angry that she was not prioritizing time we could spend with our parents. They give so much to us and she couldn’t give them a bit of her time.

On the car ride to Makati, I was deep in thought. I hated myself for failing the test. I didn’t put enough effort. I deserved to fail. I made time format errors, and that made me feel worse. I couldn’t even do that right. And then came in the post-recollection feelings. I didn’t deserve to be at Ateneo. I am not the smartest, not the most hard-working, not the kindest. There were kids who deserved to be here more than me. Kids who could make a difference given the opportunity. I was wasting my chance. I was a waste of time and money. I was a waste of space. I didn’t deserve to live the life I was blessed with. I only thought it for a faint second, but I thought jumping off a building. A quick end.

I wanted to write this piece in the past-tense voice, but I couldn’t, because I still think about it. Although I quickly quashed that thought, it keeps on coming back. I think about it every now and then. I’m a burden to the people I love. Or I’m taking up opportunities for something more deserving. It’s still something I’m considering. For now, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll stay alive, not because I want to, but because I can’t put my family through that. My existence is burden enough. I don’t want to add grief to the load they already carry. So, for now, I live for them.

(Look at me. I’m still too scared to even mention the word. I know naming gives you a power over it, but I guess I’m not at that stage yet.