#is this a bad time to admit I haven't watched Frozen since it came out

[eluxcastar]

Okay this might not be reauest but I just imagine that Shneznaya has connection with sea and every time it is almost completly frozen there is a thing like on behgining of "Frozen".

It's all I wanted to say.

~🇵🇱Anon

I think a lot about the idea of Snezhnaya being connected to the sea and how it would work, this is such a thought 🧐 I like it

[imagitory]

Hey all! So recently Wish was added to Disney+, and I thought it might be a good opportunity for me to watch it again for the first time since I saw it in theaters. I asked you all what I should write about after watching it, and in the end, the top answers were an analysis of the criticism surrounding Wish and something focusing more on the positive aspects of the movie, rather than just the usual mindless bashing.

So that's what I intend to write! A look back at some of the common criticisms I've heard about the film, and how much weight they actually have.

Now, before we begin, I should put in a disclaimer -- I don't particularly like Wish as a film. I think it had ridiculous amounts of potential that were likely hampered by corporate decisions, but I personally find it to be one of Disney's weaker animated films. That being said, as promised, I will make any critiques I do include as balanced as I can, and I will try to include praise where I can too.

So let's start!

"Asha is a badly written character because she has no character arc."

This is a critique I actually found on a list also discussing valid criticism of Wish, and I knew I had to include it, because even BEFORE I rewatched the movie, I thought it was a bit unfair. Because here's the thing: there are plenty of good films, Disney or otherwise, where the main character doesn't have/need a character arc. All of Walt's original three princesses, Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora, don't have character arcs. Ariel doesn't have an arc either -- instead her father Triton is the one who goes through a change of heart. Neither does Pongo, or Basil of Baker Street, or Robin Hood. Indiana Jones doesn't go through any real character development in Raiders of the Lost Ark, yet he was interesting enough to inspire a whole movie series! with mixed results. The important part is that even if a main character doesn't develop personality-wise, we should still be able to root for them and want them to achieve their goal. We don't want Cinderella to be abused by her stepfamily -- we want her to find someone who loves her and will take care of her the way she takes care of others. Although it can be more interesting to give your characters an arc while they pursue their goals, it isn't necessary to tell a good story or write a compelling character. Sometimes a story can be more focused on how their life circumstances or environment changes around them.

Another criticism this leads into is the idea that Asha is just another "quirky female lead" a la Rapunzel, except without any background that justifies it. And well...plenty of people griped that Anna was too much like Rapunzel, when Frozen came out. I saw people compare Moana to both Rapunzel and Mulan, when her film came out. Mirabel was also compared to past Disney heroines like Anna and Rapunzel. Even before Wish came out, people tried to argue that Asha looked just like Isabela Madrigal, which was just ridiculous. There's plenty of bad-faith criticism out there that'll shallowly associate one character or story element with one trope exclusively without looking at any nuance or detail. And I think most people would agree that truthfully, none of these female characters are the least bit "the same," no matter how much someone might try to all boil them down to "the quirky Disney female lead." And, like the others, Asha has traits that set her apart. The big one for me is her bent toward social justice, which is something we haven't really seen in a Disney leading lady since Esmeralda in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Even so, I admit that Asha's quirkiness isn't as justified by her backstory as the trait is by Rapunzel's isolation or Mirabel's "outcast" status in her family, and that does make it so that her characterization has less depth than those of some of her counterparts'. Does that make Asha a bad character? Of course not. If you like Asha as written, that's totally fine. Underdeveloped doesn't have to mean unlikable.

"There are too many characters in this movie!"

Even I've been a bit guilty of thinking this. I still feel as though the film would've saved a lot of space if some aspects of Asha's friend group had been redistributed to other characters. Like okay, you want to reference the Seven Dwarfs in Asha's inner circle, but give them all distinctive personalities? Have her mother fill the Bashful role, and cut Bazeema. Have her grandpa be Happy, and cut Hal. Have Valentino be your Grumpy role, and cut Gabo. Have Star play your Dopey, and cut Dario. Suddenly you only have three characters -- Simon, Safi, and Dahlia -- to introduce in that kitchen scene instead of seven, and you've also now given Asha's mum, grandpa, and sidekicks more personality as well!

That being said, the amount of characters truly isn't the problem. The real problem is time. Because let's be honest, we can ALL think of media with a large cast of characters we've become strongly emotionally invested in. The Lord of the Rings -- The Avengers -- Hazbin Hotel...but the difference is how much time the audience is given to get to know all of these characters. Even Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which has a cast of eleven, ends up leaving the Prince and the Huntsman rather underdeveloped compared to the Dwarfs. We don't ever learn the Evil Queen's whole deal or even her name, and she gets a lot of focus! With Wish only being ten minutes longer than Snow White with a cast of fourteen, it's little wonder the filmmakers struggled to have all fourteen of them leave a strong, unique impact. Even when I first watched the film, I didn't feel anything negative toward Asha's friend group -- if anything, I was happy to see a Disney animated female lead with a friend group of her peers, since the closest we'd gotten to that previously was Hiro in Big Hero 6 and Mei in Pixar's Turning Red. All of Asha's friends had the potential to be very interesting people, and that's why it's sad that we didn't get to see more of them and have the chance to become invested in them as individuals.

"Magnifico was actually right the whole time! Asha is the REAL villain of the story."

I see this one a lot, both from people who disliked the movie and fans who stan Magnifico, and as much as I won't give anyone a hard time for liking Magnifico, I think this view isn't really fair to either character or to the story the filmmakers pretty clearly wanted to tell. And sadly, as much as I want to be positive, I think this interpretation comes about partly because of inconsistent writing on the filmmakers' parts.

In Welcome to Rosas, there is this utopic vision presented of the island -- one that only reinforces the story told to us at the beginning by Asha, of how this man who loves wishes learned powerful magic so he could found this idyllic island kingdom with his wife where he could make wishes come true. Unfortunately, for some viewers, I think that propaganda works a little too well -- making us see Rosas as a place that truly is that happy and content and peaceful. And yeah, that does make it so that when Asha sings about how she wants "more than this," that could make her come across as rather selfish and entitled. But I think there are a few things that are good to remember --

Welcome to Rosas is framed as an advertisement of sorts -- like one of those commercials you see promoting Disneyland and how magical it is, without ever bringing up how much money it costs or how many lines you'll have to stand in. Asha's guiding some new people around with the goal of convincing them to stay and give their wishes to Magnifico, so of course it's going to sanitize the kingdom and make it seem like a place you'd want to stay in. There's blatant hyperbole thrown in there for dramatic effect, like the idea that you could go to outer space. Asha even sings that you're "unlikely to be unhappy": not that you'll be happy living on this island, just not unhappy. And yes, there is a difference between contentment and true, fulfilling happiness.

Simon's friends flat-out call him boring, after he turned eighteen and gave up his wish. This foreshadows what we learn about the wishes later, which is that they're a core part of a person that they're left a shadow of themselves without. At the wish ceremony later on, we can see this in the animation of the two "new citizens" giving their wishes to Magnifico. When they think of their wishes, they're full to the brim with joy, but when they've given them up, they're left looking confused and almost bereft, and even as everyone else cheers, they look unconvinced by the crowd's cult-like "forget without regret" chant. According to Wish's own canon, you're cutting out the "heart" of who you are, when you give up your wish.

Considering Amaya says that Asha will need to keep the tea hot, listen whenever and for however long Magnifico wants to talk, and never question anything, Magnifico didn't want an apprentice -- that would insinuate he'd actually be teaching them magic. If anything, it sounds more like he wanted a personal servant to cater to his whims. And when that person interviewing before Asha disappoints him, he's left running down the hall crying hysterically. This develops Magnifico as the film's future antagonist. Already long before he uses the evil magic book, we see that he wants a subordinate to do whatever he wants without question or complaint, seemingly for nothing in return except his own approval and, I would presume, some sort of paycheck. (I mean, I'm not saying Asha was right to expect favors from Magnifico so soon, or that that kind of quid-pro-quo stuff isn't corrupt as heck, but considering she and Magnifico did seem to connect over how important the wishes were, and considering Sabino's 100 years old, can you blame Asha for opening up about her hope that Magnifico would consider granting her grandfather's wish? She never framed it as a quid-pro-quo, and this probably would be the best chance she'd have to appeal to the King directly.)

Asha is seventeen! Of course her world view is going to be smaller and more idealistic than Magnifico's, and of course her family is going to be the center of her world. At the same time, even if Asha is young, it doesn't mean her perspective isn't worthy of compassion and respect. Sometimes the young do have a more meaningful view of a situation than their elders -- just look at David Hogg, or Malala Yousafzai, or Greta Thunberg...hell, even Anne Frank! However upset Magnifico was about Asha disagreeing with and contradicting him, it does not justify how pettily he decided to shut her down. He was an adult, and a ruler besides: it behooved him to act like one.

The filmmakers clearly envisioned Magnifico as the villain. Even if you want to ignore the promos where they compared Magnifico to the likes of classic Disney villains, Magnifico is portrayed as an arrogant, vain, vindictive control freak. He thinks only he knows what's best for everyone else, has decreed that only he has the authority to cast magic or grant wishes, and knows how beautiful people's wishes are, but prefers to hoard them away like trinkets, long before realizing that crushing them gives him power. (Not to mention he looked at Asha's hand-drawn animation and actually said, "Do we call that a talent?" I mean -- excuse you!) I've even heard some people theorize that Magnifico was based off Disney's "collect-'em-all" CEO himself, Bob Iger, and not in a flattering way. His main argument scene with Asha has been compared to how creatives have felt about their corporate bosses abruptly shutting down and locking away their incomplete films rather than let them be finished or released. Admittedly Wish also goes out of its way to try to make Magnifico sympathetic by giving him the slightest of tragic backstories, having him actually trust Asha enough to show her the wishes after only just meeting her, and (later on) not giving into the temptation of the random evil magic book because Amaya asks him not to, and that definitely muddies the waters. I still have to stand by the fact, though, that one's motivation doesn't excuse their bad behavior, however much one can explain the other. Magnifico having a sad backstory or trauma doesn't mean he's justified in treating people poorly, collecting wishes for his own enjoyment instead of truly loving them and the people they're attached to by sharing them with others, or not wanting people to ever question him or his authority. Magnifico's "nicer" moments don't mitigate these things either. Nor does his role as king. Even if yes, the story could've done well to add more nuance to the idea of wishes and make clear that not all of them are good -- and yes, the story could've either made Magnifico's villainy a bit more straightforward or followed through with the idea of Magnifico being a misguided anti-villain...in this film, we only see good wishes represented in Rosas. Magnifico even calls the wishes "the very best part [of a person]" -- and so one can only presume that all of the wishes Magnifico's collected are that way. Asha even suggests (before Magnifico interrupts her) that if a wish is dangerous, they could probably address that, while still giving back the wishes Magnifico won't grant. And the wish that Magnifico explicitly calls too "dangerous" to grant is Sabino wanting to inspire future generations, presumably through music. Paranoia on Magnifico's part? Perhaps, but also unjustified, in the context of the film. When Star comes down, every last person in Rosas -- including Magnifico's wife and queen, Amaya, who presumably must know something of his trauma and understand wanting to protect their people -- feels nothing but warmth, hope, and joy: all except for Magnifico, who immediately reacts in fear just seeing the wishes moving outside of his control. This insinuates that Magnifico's perception is the odd one out -- he's the only one who's afraid and not inspired, because that alternative magic threatens his absolute rule and control. Just like he's threatened by his people asking too many questions about the wishes he's taken. Just like he's threatened by the idea that Sabino could inspire the next generation in a way he doesn't approve of. And in the end, if that random evil book did corrupt Magnifico, it only magnified what was already there inside of him -- a greedy, obsessive need to hoard things away all for himself and to control others.

Again, for those people who see Magnifico more sympathetically than the filmmakers intended, I can understand why. Wish has two very conflicting ideas of who Magnifico is supposed to be, likely because it was compiled from dramatically different script drafts. But I feel demonizing Asha or ignoring the film's overall message about the value of people being free to chase their dreams to try to prop Magnifico up is misguided.

"Wish is bad because it's 'woke.'"

I almost wonder if I even need to say anything. This sentiment is so disingenuous, it seems like I should really be able to let it speak for itself. Ironically enough, though, I would actually argue that one of Wish's biggest shortcomings is that it isn't as revolutionary as it clearly wants to be.

For one, the culture of Rosas -- inspired largely by Spain and the Mediterranean -- is really never explored. We get no real influence of either of those cultures on the soundtrack aside from a few mandolins and a flourish of castanets now and again, unlike how Encanto embraces Colombia or how The Princess and the Frog celebrates New Orleans with their music. There's a lot of diversity in Wish's cast with a biracial lead and her colorful friend group (including Dahlia, who has a crutch!), but that would be a lot more meaningful if that diverse cast of characters had had fully fleshed-out personalities and relationships that made us emotionally invested in them, such as how Turning Red handled Mei and her friend group. We have aspects of social justice in Wish's storyline, sure -- but as much as you can draw parallels to Wish's story and the writers' strike that had been going on earlier that year and I think those parallels are striking, a film that clearly dealt with so much corporate oversight and meddling almost couldn't commit to making their villain a True Evil sort, and in the end, Rosas doesn't even do away with the absolute monarchy at the end of their supposed "revolution": it just shifts leadership from its King to its Queen. (And yes, I acknowledge saying "no more royalty" is a message that Disney, of all companies, would be hesitant to put out there, but you can't deny, it would've been both ballsy and different.)

Does this mean Bob Iger was right, that Wish is proof its creative types are focusing too much on message and not on entertainment? No. I'd say the bigger problems with the film were more likely caused by corporate interference -- you know, like hiring some popular pop composers to write songs that can be repackaged into other projects easily rather than primarily tell the story and develop the characters. Or deciding that our main female lead has to be able to do everything on her own without "too much help" from her main co-star (LOL, pun) because "feminism." Or defanging the villain with similarities to the company's CEO so he won't scare the kiddos. Or even animating the film at the exact same time as you're writing it like you previously did with Frozen II, to save time and take advantage of the 100th anniversary timing.

Even so, I sadly can't help but feel that Wish is "woke" largely in a performative sense. It features people who look different from each other and it talks about revolution and positive change, but it really doesn't go far enough to depict diversity in a way that people can get really excited about it or inspire deep thought and even maybe positive change in its audience. That's not focusing too much on message and not on entertainment -- if anything, it's more indicative of not giving the relevant and timely themes and the diverse culture enough focus.

"The meta Disney references are awful."

This one I think really is much more subject to personal taste. I've heard quite a few fans say how fun it is to find all the Easter eggs for other Disney projects or even to theorize how Wish could be connected to those movies in some kind of Disney Cinematic Universe. Personally I'm not in this camp, but that doesn't mean that I hate all the references included. The film opening with the exact same kind of text from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs actually made me smile. The Sleeping Beauty-esque drawing style in the storybook was pretty. Even the Seven Friends as an idea I thought was cute, when I first saw the concept art for them.

By and large, the references I tend to see more favorably are the ones only hard-core Disney/animation fans would pick up on. This might make me sound snooty, but I still personally enjoy references like Star's design being based on one of the star cherubs from a discarded Snow White sequence far more than I do the more blatant ones like Magnifico crushing a dream about a "perfect nanny" or the boy dressed like Rosasbound!Peter Pan. I guess for me, the first kind of references feel more like homages, rather than things that are deliberately supposed to make you think of other Disney movies you could be watching instead of this one. For other people, though, thinking of different Disney films while watching Wish is fun, and it reminds them of how much they enjoy those other movies too. It's good, clean, nostalgic entertainment. And well, Disney has put plenty of Easter eggs in its work before, though usually a bit more sparingly.

So yeah, I think ragging on the flood of Disney Easter Eggs in Wish is a bit unfair. As much as most of them aren't for me and I would've been happier with a lot less of them, I know there are other people who find joy in them, and I'm happy they do. The animators working on this film undoubtedly had a lot of fun including those references too, and I don't blame them! It's fun to create art celebrating what you love with like-minded people.

"Wish's songs are all terribly written."

Now up to a certain point, I could just say exactly what I said against the last criticism -- that this really comes down to personal opinion. Unlike meta Easter eggs, however, music is an art form, and there is real craftsmanship to it -- hell, people study music theory for a reason. And as several Youtubers have discussed before, there are real structural problems to how a lot of these songs are written. In some cases, it's an issue of cadence, where the way the words are sung don't sound like how they'd be naturally spoken aloud. In Knowing What I Know Now, for instance, sometimes the singers use the wrong emphasis on certain words, just based on where they land in the song, such as when Asha sings about Magnifico showing his "TRUE col-ORS in SHADES of GREEN," even if people don't naturally emphasize the second syllable in the word "colors." In other cases, it's over-stuffing a line with words so that the melody line isn't as memorable, such as in This Wish where the amount of syllables per line are all over the place and sentences get cut in weird places --

Isn't truth supposed to set you free? (9) Well, why do I feel so weighed down by it? (10) If I could show them everything I've seen, (10) Open their eyes to all the lies, then (9) Would they change their minds like I did? (8) But when I speak, they tell me, "Sit down!" (9) But how can I when I've already started runnin'? (8) Oh, this is where we've been, (6) But it's not where we belong, (7) And I may be young, but I know I'm not wrong... (11)

There are also cases where the songs barely use any actual rhymes in favor of half-rhymes or worse twist themselves into pretzels just to make an actual rhyme, such as in I'm a Star, with lines such as "When it comes to the universe we're all shareholders // Get that through your system! (Solar!)" and "Ooh, I'm a star! // Watch out, world, here I are!" (Excuse me while I cringe.) And then of course, most infamously, there are the redundant and otherwise weird lyric choices, most commonly cited in Magnifico's And This is The Thanks I Get?!, such as "I got these genes from outer space!" and "I let you live here for free and I don't even charge you rent!"

By and large, people have not responded as well to Wish's soundtrack as they have for many other Disney musicals. It could also be argued that the songs don't tell the film's story as well as they could've. The most egregious example of this is At All Costs, which is supposed to be our villain and hero singing about the beauty of the wishes the first has collected, but was literally written as a love song first, just because Julia Michaels wanted to write a song that could be played at people's weddings even if the movie in question didn't feature any romance. Even This Wish was written well before the script was finished, and this is when we can tell from all the concept art released by Disney that this movie had been dramatically rewritten at multiple stages of development.

And yet even with this, I still see people making animatics for At All Costs featuring their own characters or Asha and the discarded Starboy concept. (And yes, we'll come back to that.) I still see fan-made music videos featuring This Wish. Hell, even I have some of Wish's songs on my IPhone, and I listen to them actively! Knowing What I Know Now, as much as I see what's technically wrong with it, is still a bop for me. However much I had to take a full-on sanity break after listening to I'm a Star a second time, I do enjoy This Wish and At All Costs, just on their own. I don't think This Wish (reprise) is a bad musical or thematic climax, especially if one considers Magnifico's fear that Sabino's wish was to inspire the next generation through music, and it ends up being a song -- sung by his loving granddaughter -- that ultimately defeats our antagonist. I don't think any of Wish's songs really help tell the story as well as other Disney songs do for their films, but I still think there's room for personal taste here. Music -- like all art -- still has an element of subjectivity. It isn't a science -- yes, there is talent and skill involved that can only be mastered with practice and hard work, but there's still a bit of magic that comes with the finished result, and as much as it might not be popular with the masses, that doesn't necessarily make something worthless, or that public consensus can't change. Tchaikovsky famously hated the work he did for The Nutcracker, as did the critics of his day, only for it to go on to become a staple of holiday entertainment and ballet productions overall. Plenty of cult classic films like Labyrinth and Heathers didn't make a lot of money or get lots of praise when they first came out, but soon enough they found their audience.

"The animation is lazy!"

There's actually a much better video discussing this, made by a real professional animator, and I think I'll just let him handle this.

One thing I want to touch on, though, is Jennifer Lee's commentary about why Wish ultimately wasn't done in 2D animation --

"What happens in hand-drawn is that you have the incredible hand of the artist, but also limitations in what you could do on screen. What happened in CG is you'd have incredible, boundless opportunities, visually, that elevated it — even to the point for some — into realism, which is not what we wanted to do. The more important thing to us was to have a way to find technology that can do everything. Connect to the true vision of the artist, but bring in technology that could finally take away limitations."

-- and yeah, I'm not going to lie, this sentiment leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. The idea that hand-drawn animation somehow limits what art you can create is mind-boggling for anyone working in animation to think, but especially for someone working in Disney animation. I can't help but feel like Uncle Walt would've been ticked if he'd heard anyone suggest this. Anyone who loves animation I think would be annoyed by it, and I'd say people like Hayao Miyazaki continue to prove that Lee's thought process isn't true, considering that his hand-drawn film won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature the same year that Lee's Wish was passed over by the Academy altogether. To be fair, though, this is more a reflection on certain Disney leaders' dismissive attitude toward the medium that built their company as well as the vast majority of the films they're supposedly celebrating, rather than any condemnation of the hard-working animators who worked on Wish. And yes, although no one can argue that Wish ultimately doesn't look as good as its animated peers like Sony's Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse (which was made with half the budget Wish was), that's more the fault of a flawed vision on the part of the filmmakers than anything. It's certainly not indicative of a lack of talent, resources, or caring from the animators themselves.

"Wish would've been so much better if it had featured a love story between Starboy and Asha!"

Okay, let me pop this bubble right now --

None of Disney's official releases have ever indicated Star was going to be Asha's love interest.

The concept art featuring Asha and human!Star? Yeah, that exists, but there's nothing strictly romantic in any of those concepts, like them kissing or even hugging. At All Costs originally supposedly being a love song for Asha and Star? As touched on above, nope, it was even more of a cynical corporate decision than that -- the songwriters just wanted to write a love song that they could repackage and use elsewhere, even if there was no love story to go with it. The thing about Asha and Star supposedly being soulmates? That's derived from a comment in the artbook from Wish co-writer Allison Moore, talking about Asha and Star in their current forms, and so therefore the sentiment was intended platonically --

"Now Star and Asha have an emotional journey. They are soulmates."

And well, just based on a good chunk of the Disney animated films that had come out prior to Wish featuring male and female leads -- Zootopia, Moana, Big Hero 6, Wreck-It-Ralph -- there was really nothing definitive to suggest that our two central characters were going to be romantically linked. And even if Star and Asha were going to be love interests, that still would've been no guarantee of a better movie -- you'd still need compelling, well-developed characters, if you want to likewise have a compelling, well-developed relationship between them. And as I've argued in the past, a movie doesn't need romance to be good. If someone could feel sincere platonic love between Star and Asha as their actual movie selves, then any romance between them wouldn't be needed. I truly believe the only reason that so many people have gotten so hung up on the idea of a Star/Asha romance is because that original platonic "soulmates" idea Allison Moore and others envisioned just didn't ring true for them. They saw more love and interesting chemistry between the original concept art versions of Star and Asha than they did between any of the characters in the finished film...and so they've built upon those flickers of love with their own imagination and then built that mental image up into something that I don't think the filmmakers probably ever intended.

I must be honest, it was kind of a slog, watching Wish for a second time. I stopped multiple times to take notes, unable to just sit back and let the movie wash over me. Even so, I truly appreciate how much time you must've spent to skim through this way-too-long analysis, as well as the votes you all cast in that one poll of mine! I love analyzing Disney, and as much as I don't love Wish, I do think it provided great fodder for new fan creations and has amazing potential as an educational tool about both good storytelling and film-making. And if there are more criticisms of Wish you'd like me to discuss, please feel free to reblog this post with them! Thank you for your support!

To close us out...if you love Wish, then keep on loving it! Don't let anyone -- including me -- tell you otherwise. I don't think a film that was truly the worst thing ever would've attracted as much attention or overanalyzing as Wish has received. And for those of you who are still dissatisfied with Wish, here's a list of films I compiled that you can watch and enjoy instead!

For Starboy/Asha stans...Stardust!

For both Starboy and Chris Pine stans...Rise of the Guardians!

For those of you who love the idea of storytelling magic...Whisper of the Heart!

For those of you hungry for a diversely cast, "woke" fairy tale...Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella (1997)!

For people looking for a colorful, family-friendly musical...Wonka!

For avant-garde animation fans...Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio!

For modern CG animation fans...Puss in Boots: The Last Wish!

And finally, probably most obviously -- for those Disney fans looking for a loving tribute to 100 years of Disney Animation with a bunch of Easter Eggs and good humor...Once Upon a Studio!

Much love to you all! 💛

[lunarflux]

"i felt your arms reach for help, and not a muscle in my body could keep me from holding onto you so tightly"

lee felix x reader

genre — fluff!au

tw: suggested abusive relationship

suggested background music: x

note: i like to put a bit of my life into my writing - i had a dream the other night that i saw my abusive ex and hid behind a member of skz lol

You never usually went out on the weekends. It's always been that way. Maybe once a month, you'd entertain the occasional invite out for dinner and drinks, but it had been a while since you'd gone out so casually with your small group of friends.

Clubs were always dark, and you were never the type to run into the crowd. So there you stood by the bar, watching your friends as you nursed your beverage, the sweat from the glass dripping down to the floor. You wanted so badly to have fun, but this just wasn't your scene anymore.

After the departure of your ex-boyfriend, you realized just how much you missed out on. Your friends no longer waited for you because they'd just expected you to say no. It took over a year to realize your relationship had grown toxic, and no partner should ever keep you from experiencing life. Being in a relationship meant sharing a life - not becoming someone else's.

The need to be alone washed over you, remembering the last argument with your ex over reprioritizing your life. To him, friends came second. You just couldn't live like that anymore.

You're free now - and you still haven't adjusted to that feeling.

Club patrons would stand next to you and try to strike up a conversation, but as cold as ever, you avoided their gaze and sipped from the now watered down beverage, still dripping down your hand.

One in particular didn't try to talk to you. In fact, he stood at the bar much like you did, checking his watch, his phone, whatever he could to seem occupied. He glanced at you every now and then. Through the chaotic lights, he'd catch your eye, and he'd smile.

All you could see were the faint hints of the freckles scattered across his cheeks.

After about the fifth time noticing him check his phone, you leaned over. "Did your date bail on you or something?"

He chuckled. "No. I'm just killing time, so my friends stop bugging me about hanging around their apartment so much."

The conversation died as soon as it started, but you two stayed in place. You'd toast with him to every new glass, and then you'd go back to how you were - standing by the bar, killing time.

"y/n - "

Steadying yourself, you looked past your freckled partner only to find a familiar - unwelcome - face.

Staring your ex in the face for the first time in three months, the only thing you could do was stare. Your legs locked in place, and it felt like this club was just another nightmare.

"What are you doing here -" The familiar stranger took a step towards you.

It was a reflex.

All at once, you dropped your glass and found yourself gripping onto the denim sleeve of your drinking partner.

The blonde looked down at you, noticing the vice grip on his arm. He swore he could feel the tension built up within you as you just stood there, holding onto him like a scared child even though he was nothing but a stranger for the night.

Your view changed, and now you were looking at his back. Your drinking partner stood in front of you, his hand holding yours protectively.

"Can I help you?" He said to your ex who merely examined the sight before him like it couldn't possibly be happening.

"You her boyfriend?" Your ex spat with a matching sneer.

"I said, can I help you."

Trying to maneuver around your shield, he laughed, and it was a cruel sound. "So two years just in the fucking trash, and now you've moved onto this guy?"

You whispered into your protector's sleeve. "Please leave."

"Go - " The still nameless blonde nodded his head towards the crowd. "Before I call security for harassment."

"No need." Your ex took a swig of his drink. "You can have her."

The interaction only lasted a minute, but you swore you couldn't breathe. They never tell you about this kind of aftermath from a bad breakup. You were supposed to feel elated that this villain was out of your life after years of over-controlling behavior and manipulation tactics. This was supposed to be your new life.

Still stuck in place, you followed robotically as your protector pulled you up the stairs and out into the street. It was only then that he let go of your hand to cradle your face, wiping away the tears from your cheeks with his thumb.

"Are you okay?"

"I -" You let out an uneasy breath. The fresh air almost hurt to inhale. "Yes, I'm fine. I just didn't.... expect to see him so soon."

"What's your name?"

"y/n"

"y/n, my name is Felix. Have you eaten yet?" He took off his hat and placed it on your head, securing it tightly like it was a new shield to keep you safe.

Shaking your head, you let him lead you down the street to the closest night market. It was a little past midnight, but it was still crowded. Bumping into patrons, Felix grabbed your hand again and led you through the crowd.

Stopping in front of a dessert cart, he guided you to stand next to him. "Well?"

"It's fine, I should go."

Felix squeezed your hand. "Come on. It's late. You're clearly shaken up. I don't think anyone should be alone like that."

He was right though it pained you to admit it. Your fun Friday night went from decent to shit in less than five minutes, and now this handsome freckled stranger was the one to try to comfort you.

"I have a thing about sweets." Felix looked up at the selection of ice cream. "Brownies and ice cream - it's like my comfort food."

"Mine, too." You finally noticed how warm his hand was.

He held up two fingers to the part-time worker before letting go of you to grab both of the treats.

"I can pay you back." You took a spoonful of vanilla. "I'm sorry. I think I ruined your night out."

Felix shook his head, clearly enjoying the frozen treat. "You didn't ruin anything. I'm just sorry your night got cut short because of... your ex, right?"

You nodded quietly. "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"Well, I - "

"I've only known your name for ten minutes, and you've apologized to me twice already." Felix's freckles were much more visible now, and it suited him. He looked kind, and his smile was bright before softening to concern. "Did he make you feel like you had to apologize for everything?"

Poking your spoon around your ice cream, you couldn't find the words. Felix took your silence as a 'yes.'

"That doesn't seem like any way to treat your girlfriend."

"I mean, some of it might have been my fault - "

Felix interrupted your excuses with a spoonful of chocolate. "Stop."

"But I -"

"- am single now. And I am not him." He grinned again. "So just erase everything he made you feel like you needed to do, and just be in the moment with me. Okay?"

"It was just," you tried to find the words. "I don't know. I haven't done this in a really long time, and I know not everyone is like that. But I don't even really know you."

Felix placed his hand on your head, his smile still comforting and genuine. He pulled you close to him. "Well, I guess we're going to have to change that."

**

It was another Friday night, but now these nights were taken up by Felix dropping by your apartment with freshly baked brownies and a new movie.

He never passed the boundaries of holding hands and hugs. It almost made you wonder how you ended up here with this person who was nothing more than a fellow bar patron at some point.

"Can I ask you something?"

Felix was scooping ice cream onto the brownies. He offered you a spoonful, "What's up?"

The words got caught in your throat again. It's only been two months. You hadn't returned to the club since, and you were finally sleeping well again. It was almost like having Felix kept the nightmares away. Simply knowing he was there did more healing than anything else ever did.

You didn't want to ruin it.

"Never mind." You grabbed your bowl and settled in front of the TV.

Felix looked back at you. Lately, it was like you always started out tense in front of him, and he was dying to know why.

An hour into the movie, Felix finally noticed that you weren't paying attention. Your dessert was left half unfinished which was unusual. You just sat there beside him, staring at the floor.

He poked your cheek before reaching over to pause the movie. "What's on your mind?"

"It's nothing."

"y/n, come on." Felix sighed. "What is it? Are you having nightmares again? Did you see him again?"

It shouldn't feel odd, but you didn't expect him to find you so predictable. "No, I just have a lot on my mind."

"Okay, so tell me."

The silence filled the room again.

"Is this something you can't tell me?"

"That's not it, I just don't know how to tell you -"

"Try!" Felix laughed. "I haven't seen you this speechless since the night we met."

Thinking about that night brought so many mixed feelings. It was like seeing the evil witch and meeting your prince charming all at once. After your ex said those things, it was like something just held you back. It just always seemed too soon to say anything - no matter how much you liked Felix, no matter what he did you help you heal and just be happy. If this is what a relationship is supposed to be like, you didn't know how to operate. This was a book on love you'd never dared to read before.

"It's nothing." You said quietly.

Felix almost looked disappointed. He looked down at the floor, shuffling his feet together. "Should I leave?"

"What? No -"

"I just feel like I'm bothering you."

"You're not bothering me!" You grabbed his hand. There it was again, one of the two romantic gestures that wouldn't be pushed any further.

Felix held your hand gently, stroking your thumb with his. "So do you want to tell me what's on your mind?"

You leaned forward, resting your head against his arm so he couldn't see how flustered you were.

"I just don't know when the right time is."

"Meaning?" Felix had every right to be confused.

"How long is long enough to be over someone and move on?" You kept your head down. You didn't want him to see you crumble like this. You felt so weak and tired at the thought of exposing yourself like this.

You and Felix sat in silence for a moment. His grip on your hand was tighter than usual, but his demeanor was difficult to read.

"Is that what's been bothering you? You don't want me to think you've moved on too quickly?"

You nodded against his arm, still hiding your face.

He pulled you up and into his arms again, holding you securely. He smelled like vanilla and musk today. He hid his face in your neck, and you stayed like that. This was the safest you've ever felt, and being here with him finally stopped that awful feeling of not knowing what it was to want to share your mornings with someone. Felix wasn't a burden. He was the sunshine, and his warmth was your safety.

Taking a deep breath, Felix finally sat upright nodding to himself. "Okay, so let's talk."

"Talk away." You almost giggled at the flush on his cheeks.

He brushed the hair away from your face, keeping hands cupped on the sides of your neck.

"There is no time limit for being ready, okay?"

Felix's eyes stayed on yours.

"If you're over him, then you're over him. Fuck that guy, he was awful. And I know you think that with the timing - meeting me that night - it was a burden, wasn't it? Because there was no way you could ever tell if you were ready or if you'd just found a distraction." Felix smiled softly. "Do you trust me?"

You nodded quietly, eyes feeling awfully heavy.

"Well, I trust you. And I trust you know that this burden of never knowing will go away on its own, okay?"

"I just don't want to hurt you." You tried to pull away with no avail.

Felix released another heavy sigh.

He searched for something in your eyes before making his decision.

His kisses were like his hugs - warm and comforting. He was gentle, rubbing the edge of your face with his fingers. The small pitter-patters of his breath against your cheeks tickled.

Felix kissed you sweetly in silence. The moonlight had already set on the apartment, but he just stayed with you in the moment, feeling like if there was ever a time, it was now.

Leaving a final kiss on the tip of your nose, he sat back.

"Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

[julyarchives]

Meant To Be

You didn't think you would have to deal with past feelings until you meet your ex-boyfriend Hongseok, right after your current boyfriend proposes to you.

→ Pairing: Hongseok x Female Reader

→ Genre: Angst to fluff.

→ Words:  1.7K

→ Contains: very light angst; low key cheating; Unrequited Love

→ A/N: Thank you so much for the anon who requested this story. The writing process flowed so easily that it was really nice writing it. We hope you like it!

When the anxiety was too much to handle, you decided it was time to gather with your friend and ask for her advice.

You've been in a steady relationship for two years, and your boyfriend is not a bad person - you like his company and he's always treated you well. But when he proposed to you last night you couldn't bring yourself to say yes.

"It's not a 'no' either," you told him "I just need some  time to think"

He wasn't too happy about your response, you could see his disappointment, but he agreed on giving you space.

And that's how you end up with your best friend in your living room, drinking mimosas made of the champagne that was supposed to be celebratory from last night.

"What?!" She asked when you showed her the wedding ring resting perfectly intact in the little velvet box. "Why didn't you say yes?!

"You  know me since high school, you can take a guess" you said, sipping your drink

"It just doesn't make sense" she shook her head "you seemed happy with him."

"I am, I guess." You bit your lip, struggling to put your feelings into words "but don't you think it's too soon?"

"If you love him and want to keep the relationship, it's not." She shot straight back. "Do you?"

"He's a nice guy, there's no downside to being with him." You wondered out loud.

"Yes, but do you love him?" She insisted, realizing you were dodging her question.

"I like staying with him"

"The way you are avoiding the question says it all, y/n."

You kept quiet, not really sure how to answer that. She was not wrong, the relationship was good and there was nothing bad about it. Except for that little something that is missing. There weren't butterflies on your stomach when you thought of him. You missed that euphoria of being with someone, that good anxiety before a date where you wonder if he will like your new dress. There wasn't that sparkle.

"What if I say no and regret? I don't want to realize too late that I like him, and end up alone with 12 cats"

"Y/N," put her glass down and straightened her back "you are a wonderful woman and you will not be a crazy cat lady, I'm sure of that. But you can not marry someone you don't love."  She took the ring from your hand and placed it on the coffee table.

She was about to say something else when the doorbell rang, interrupting her.

"Did you order food or something?" You asked her, confused.

"I guess this is a bad time to tell you that Hongseok texted me he's in town and I invited him over because I didn't know your love life was in a crisis?" She smiled a little too sweetly

"You what?!" Your eyes widened "why?!"

"I don't know, I missed hanging out with you two, and he's never in town anymore, so I thought it was a good opportunity for a reunion." She babbled nervously. "Surpriise…?"

The doorbell rang again.

"Okay." You took a deep breath "let's do this."

You stood up and fixed yourself, thinking that you would have dressed up a little better if you knew he was coming. You weren't ready for what you saw when you opened the door.

He was looking way more handsome than you remembered, and the gentle smile that lit up on his face when he saw you threw you off guard

"Y/n, hey" he said shyly.

"Hey!" Your voice came out softer than you intended. You two just stared at each other for a while, not really sure how to proceed "y/f/n told me you were coming, come on in."

You stepped aside to make room for him to go through the door. It's been years since you last saw him, and the awkwardness of it showed a little. He entered and received your friend with an enthusiastic hug.

You watched him, not helping but noticing his strong muscles showing through his shirt as he held her tight.

"I missed you, you little devil." he said to her, his eye smile always so charming, then turned towards you again "I hope I'm not intruding."

"No way," you said promptly "it's good to see you, it's been so long."

"Too long." He said, eyes fixed on yours'.

Your breath got caught in your throat, and you felt your heart beating a little too fast. You definitely weren't ready to see him.

The morning was spent catching up. Mostly your friend asking questions about Hongseok's busy idol life and you listening, but it was a good distraction to all of your current problems. The only issue is that seeing him brought back some past problems that you didn't think you would have to confront again.

Eventually, the drinks ended, and you headed to the kitchen to grab some more, but it was really an excuse to catch a breath. You leaned against the counter and checked your phone, noticing there was a lost call and a voice message to it

" Good morning, beautiful. " Your boyfriend was saying " just reassuring that I'll give you as much time as you need. Are we still up for our lunch date tomorrow? Love you! "

"Is that your fiance?" Hongseok's voice startled you, even though he was soft-spoken "sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine, I just didn't see you coming in" you turned around and got yourself busy making more drinks, but really just hiding your embarrassment.

"I just came to warn you that y/f/n got a call from work and had to leave. She asked me to tell you."

"Oh. Okay." You said, putting things back in the fridge. "Do you want anything else to drink?"

"Nah, is fine." he stepped into the kitchen and leaned on the counter by your side "and I swear I wasn't prying on you. I saw the ring on the coffee table and assumed…"

He didn't finish the sentence.

"Yeah, that." Was all you managed to say.

The room fell awfully quiet.

"I missed you." He blurted, voice so soft that you almost didn't hear it.

You bit your lip again, dreading the words you've been thinking all morning.

"I missed you too." You confessed.

"I swear I'm not trying to break you and your fiance up, but I haven't stopped wondering what we would be like if we had never broken up."

You took a deep breath, not having the guts to admit out loud you've been thinking the same.

"You would have never gotten to fulfill your dream." You said. "You were born to be an idol, and you did what you had to do."

He turned around and held your waist delicately, silently asking permission to hold you. Your hands automatically fell on his shoulders, and the next thing you knew your foreheads were pressed together, both of you having your eyes closed just feeling each other so close.

"Then why do I still feel like there is something missing?" He whispered. You couldn't bring yourself to answer, nor to hold back a single stubborn tear running down your cheek. "You should've been mine, not his."

You two were so close together that you could feel his warm breath hit your face and all you could think of was how much you missed feeling his soft lips against yours, but you had to stop yourself.

"Is not that simple." You said, stepping back. "I have a whole another life now. You have another life. Everything is different"

You turned around, trying to hide your small sniffle and composing yourself.

"You're right." He took a deep breath. "I don't know what's gotten into me, I'm sorry."

At that moment your phone started ringing, the screen lighting up with a picture of you kissing your boyfriend's cheek, with his name right under it. You saw Hongseok noticing it, and you couldn't deny the clench in your heart at the sad expression on his face.

"Anyway, you should take that call and I should get going. I can show myself out. It was good to see you again, y/n"

You froze in place, torn and frozen at the same time. Everything was clear, yet you were so scared of making a decision, but you knew what you had to do. You turned your phone so the screen was facing down and you couldn't see it anymore, and ran towards the front door.

Hongseok was almost closing it behind himself when you arrived.

"I didn't say yes." You said it loud enough to catch his attention, making him stop on his track.

"What?" He turned to face you, stepping into your house again.

"I'm not engaged, I didn't say yes to him." You exclaimed

"You didn't?" The shy smile peeping on his lips was the most adorable thing you've ever seen.

"I couldn't bring myself to accept the proposal. I told him I needed some time to figure myself out and now…" you stepped closer, and he received you in another hug, holding you close to him, but looking into your eyes this time. "I think now it's clear why."

Hongseok didn't say anything. He pulled you into a passionate kiss, you two pouring all the bottled-up feelings, all the need for each other into it. You held each other close, trying to end any space between you two. All you needed and wanted was to be together.

"How is this going to work?" You tried to bring yourself out of the bubble. "We can not do this like it never ended. Though I…" you gulped, gathering courage "I loved you so much"

"I don't think I ever stopped loving you."

You couldn't find words to respond, choosing instead to put your feelings yet again on another kiss. You felt like you were in the clouds and you could spend the rest of the day just kissing him like this.

"We'll make it work." Hongseok didn't seem to be trying to let you go, still holding you tight.

You finally felt like you found the butterflies you were missing.

[booobeary123]

It’s Always Been Her For Him, But It’s Always Been You For Me// JEAN KIRSCHTEIN X FEM! READER X REINER BRAUNN

Modern AU!

Words counted: 2365

~~~

She knew it wouldn't have lasted, she can tell that he still has feelings for her but she loved him to much. Y/n L/n, she's in love with the horse face boy, Jean Kirschtein. The way he looks at her, the way he treated her, the way he talked about her to her and his friends, was nothing the way he did with her. The fact that it's her best friend, and she knows that her best friend doesn't like him. The girl I'm talking about is Mikasa Ackerman. Y/n boyfriend is in love with her best friend and she didn't feel the same.

And that day hit her like a pile of tow trucks. Y/n went to go surprise Jean for his birthday, and from that plan went down hill when she arrived at his house. His mom let her in, telling her that his best friend Marco is here and they both will be happy to see her.

As the h/c girl walks to the outside of her boyfriends room, she hears his confession. "I feel so awful! I been dating her for almost two years and I'm still in love with Mikasa." His voice booms on the other side of the door. "Just the way her hair flows, the way her eyes glow, the way she can take charge and just everything about her." One tear falls from the girls face. "I don't know how- I don't know how to break up with Y/n... I mean I do care for her but it's different, I don't know if it's more than Mikasa or less... I should tell her..”

"You should, you been leading her on for about two years." A voice that didn't sound like Marcos, which is in fact Reiners. "It's kinda of a dick move."

"Haven't you done it?" Marco questions it.

A huff escapes from the blondes lips, "for a few months, not two years. Look man, she's probably coming over later and you should tell her."

"We been telling you for the past year." Marco agrees with their other friend.

A soft knock is heard from Jean's door. "What is mo-" The three boy's face drops to see Y/n standing there in tears.

"Happy birthday." With that she drops the things she bought him and ran out the house. Jean stood frozen, he couldn't believe that she was there listening to that.

He grabs the two bags to see what were inside, his widen to see the new game system he's been wanting since it came out, along with a few games he also wants. "She's really in love with you, just like you are with Mikasa." Reiner states after seeing what she got him.

The first thing Y/n did when she got home was call her friend. When she came over, she brought over some f/f(favorite flavor) ice cream and the two of them watch her favorite movies. "Do you want me to beat his ass?" Her best friend bluntly states.

Y/n shakes her head, "If you do like him, Mikasa, it's okay."

A small giggle escapes her lips, "Even if I did, I wouldn't. For one, you know who I like. Two, you bought him the new game system that cost over four hundred bucks, along with some games, I deserve to beat his ass. It'll be my birthday present to him." A sigh escapes Y/n lips, "You don't deserve him, he didn't realize how much you love him."

"It doesn't matter now, now does it?" She questions her friend, stabbing at the ice cream with her spoon. "Am I heartbroken? Yes. But am I surprised? A little, but I'll get over it. It might take a few days...or weeks... or months... eventually I will." She places her best fake smile for Mikasa, so she doesn't have worry.

~time skip~

Y/n walks into her last class, and only class she shares with her ex boyfriend. Jean tried to speak to her but she has most of her classes with Mikasa, and she refuses to let him talk. And with the classes that Y/n doesn't share with Mikasa, she shares with Eren and he tried to get into a fight with Jean a few times when he walked into class trying to talk to you. But of course, this is the only class you didn't have with either of them.

Luckily, she has Historia and Ymir in her last class too. "We heard what happened..." the blond female asked.

"I'm okay." Y/n flashes a fake smile, a smile that Jean notices as he stares at her instead of listening to the teacher. His heartache after you left, he even told the two friends he had in his room.

Ymir lets out a laugh, "You're not. He admitted his feelings for your best friend yesterday."

"I mean..I'm still in love with him, but I- if he wants to chase after Mikasa when she clearly has feelings for Eren as everyone knows it, he can. If he's happy with it, then I'm happy. I just want him to be happy, even if it's not with me." She rants to her two friends.

"Class!" Their teacher shouts, causing everyone to get quiet.

After class, Mikasa, Eren, and Armin stand next to Y/n last room door. When she walks out, the four walk to their lockers. "You should switch classes-" Eren started off.

"-I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to loose this class because of him." Y/n stated, then sighs. "I know you guys are looking out for me."

This went on for months, "We can always tell your dad-" once again she cuts off Eren.

"That's not right, just because he's the principal doesn't mean I'll use the power of it." She states.

Mikasa sighs, "Why do you even still love him?"

"Why does he even still love you?" Y/n snaps back, giving shock to the trio. "Sorry.. I just... it's been hard to get over him. We been together for almost two years... I don't think I'll ever get over him."

As the tension rises of jealousy, Armin spoke up to cut it. "Are you going to the Christmas dance?"

The e/c girl shakes her head, "I don't think I am."

"Come on, lets go together." Mikasa offers, a sigh escapes the girls lips before agreeing. "Great." After school, Mikasa and her go to Y/n's house to get dressed. "I know that you don't want to go because you know who will be there, but I'm glad you are. It's been a while since the four of hung out."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't let Jean get to me to much. Tonight it won't happen." After those sentences, someone knocks at the door. This causes both her and Mikasa to quickly put shirts back on(since they were changing).

Both girls walk to the door, opening to see surprisingly Reiner with flowers and chocolates, blushing looking away from the two girls. "H-hey." He clears his throat. "Can I talk to Y/n?" A smirk appears on the the raven haired girl before walking into a different room.

"Reiner? Wha, what are you doing here?" A blush comes across her face as she looks at the flowers he brought. Her favorite, along with her favorite chocolate.

"I know that you're not really over Uh Jean, but would you like to go to the Christmas dance with me?" He asks, handing her the flowers and chocolates. Before she can answer, he spoke once more, "It's okay if you don't..."

"I'd like to." She cuts him off with a smile.

"I get that I'm his friend but- wait you said you will?" Y/n gave a nod, holding the smile on her face.

"Of course. Where are we going to meet?" She asks him.

"I'll stand outside the school, waiting at seven." He smiles widely, wrapping his arm around the small girl. "See you later." He pulls away then walks off to his car with a huge smile on his face. Even though he has admit he has done what Jean has done to Y/n, but it was because he's in love with her. Reiner Braunn is in love with Y/n L/n. And he hoping to change her mind of his friend and have her fall in love with him.

Once y/n closes the door, a blush and smile is stuck on her phone. "Does someone have a date to the dance tonight?" Mikasa asks as she notices the smile on her face. 

She giggles, "Yeah..." she spoke in a loving tone, something she hasn't done in months. Y/n always had a liking in Reiner but hasn't really spoke to him only when he was with Jean. "Let's watch a movie? We have about five hours-"

Mikasa shakes her head, "I have two hours, Eren and Armin are going an hour after it opens." Y/n gave her sad eyes, trying to have her stay for the five hours. "Your puppy eyes won't work on me like the other two. I'll see you later. Maybe you'll kiss Reiner, I heard there's a lot of mistletoes." Mikasa winks before walking out the door.

A groan escapes the only person in the house, "What to do..." she whispers to herself before going to her room and turning on Netflix. As she watch a her favorite show, she started to drift off the sleep, so she quickly set an alarm in two hours before knocking out.

Once she woke up, she felt pain through out her stomach. Y/n quickly ran to the bathroom, only find it was her time of the month. Tears fall down her cheeks as the pain was so bad, she takes some aleve to light up the pain.

After she got dressed into her (color) dress and black wedge, the pain stayed as it's only a few minutes before she has to leave to meet up with Reiner. "I need to tell him I can't go.." she mumbles to herself. Y/n takes out her phone and clicks on his name, calling him.

"Y/n, are you on your way?" His voice sounds excited.

As tears falls from her face she spoke, "I-I'm Sorry." She stutters our.

"What's wrong?" He asks in a concerned tone.

She shakes her head, "N-no. My st-stomach hurts so much. I don't th-think I can make it. I'm s-so sorry."

“It’s okay, I’ll swing by-” Y/n cuts him off.

“-You don’t have too. I’ll see you Monday.” She sniffs before hanging up. The e/c girl climbs onto the bed, curling up into a ball of pain and tears. Still with her (color) dress on and heels.

After thirty minutes her door opens, “Dad please not now.” She mumbles, pressing her head against the pillow with pain going through her stomach.

“It’s uh, not your dad.” A familiar voice spoke.

She lifts her head to see her date. “Reiner? Why are you here?” She spoke with glossy eyes.

He chuckles before sitting next to her, “Well, since your stomach hurts, and as you always say that for your period, I wanted to make sure your okay. Here,” he hands her some of her favorite chocolates and candy.

A blush runs across her face, “Reiner, you didn’t-”

His finger goes to her lips, “I wanted to-I wanted to tell you at the dance. But since you couldn’t make, I’ll tell you now before you find someone else.” A confused look runs across the girls face after he removes his finger. “I’ve liked you for a while. Well, more like love you for a while. Before you were dating Jean.”

“But the other girls- the girls you used-” His places his finger on your lips once more.

“When Jean dated you, and kept tell Marco and I how much he loves Mikasa made my blood boil. But I also did that when I was dating those girls, I kept talking about how much I love you to Bert but you were dating Jean.” He sighs as the blush goes to his cheeks, “I really wanted us to be under the mistletoe tonight so I had a reason to kiss you.”

As it’s a very emotion roller coaster for y/n, her response was to cry. His eyes widen trying to figure out what to do to fix this, apologizing. “Don’t apologize, I’m just emotional right now.” She wipes her tears away before grabbing Reiner hands. “Well, um, I kinda painted the ceiling above me with a mistletoe when I was dating Jean so we could always make out for a reason.” She points above him, with a blush on her face. “There’s a mistletoe.” His head tilted up, to in fact see a painted mistletoe, not a very great painting but it was the thought that counts. “I wanted to take it off because of the memories every night, but you can help me make new ones.” Blush burns into both the their faces.

“You sure?” Reiner asks as his face is red, but luckily is dark enough to not be able to see it.

“Yeah.” Y/n smiles as does he. “I’m guessing that you’re going to help me get over him?”

“I hope so, but this will sound harsh, but you need to understand that it will always be her for him, but it’s always been you for me.” With that he captures her lips in his with his hand holding her cheek and other holding her back.

She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. She loves the way their lips move together, like nice and soft clouds. Reiner slowly places her back on the bed, with him hovering above her, without breaking the kiss. The more they kiss, the less clothes they kept. “I’m so in love with you.” He mumbles against her lips.

“Good. I may be in love with you.” She says back, bring their lips back together.

[mrsedmercer]

Steamy Love (A Tom Hiddleston x Reader) Part 24:~That Feeling~

Summary: During your big date night, Tom brings up a rather forward request as the night takes a turn for the worst.

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, medication and panic attacks.

Read it on my Wattpad: wattpad.com/HiddlesStar

Word count: 1909

Tags: @theoneanna @midnightdragonzero @drakesfiance @kcd15 @ihthr @deviantsendbyreallife @bookgirlunicorn @cherrygeek86

Your cheeks heated up some, gazing back at Tom, who was still sitting across from you, still waiting for your answer.

"..Wh...What?..." You finally spoke up after a couple minutes. You couldn't believe what he was asking you. He...wanted you to move in with him!

"I...I want you to come with me.." Tom spoke. "Back to the UK."

"You...want me to..." You tried to speak, but soon trailed off. You really couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"I know, I must sound crazy.." Tom smiled a bit. "But you could come back with me, watch me perform in my play every night, meet some fans, meet Bobby." Tom's smile grew as he talked. "I know, m-maybe normally it would be too soon, but...I...I really love what we have."

You continued to gaze into his big blue eyes, watching as his pupils grew a little bigger as he looked at you and talked to you. He seemed really sure about this, like he was truly ready for this next step.

The thing is, were you?

"And..." Tom looked down, gently taking your hands on the table, holding them in his.

"...I...I think I..."

Oh God.

He's gonna say it.

"I think I l--"

"Hey, we're closing in about 10 minutes!" The man behind the counter spoke up, breaking you and Tom out of your trance.

"Ah, we should head out..." Tom spoke, letting go of your hands to stand up. "We can talk about this more at home.."

Truthfully, you were still a little...frozen, and it wasn't because of Tom's request.

As you exited the building with Tom, you noticed it was already past 12, and you hadn't taken your pill at all. You didn't even bring them with you. You didn't want the drowsiness side effect to slow you down, but now you could feel the withdrawl start to creep in. Tom had no idea you hadn't taken them, or brought them at all. You thought you'd be fine. You didn't expect to stay out so late.

When you got outside, it was pouring rain. This just made your anxiety worse. Your new dress was getting soaked.

"B-Bloody.." Tom muttered, looking around some. He noticed you were getting cold, quickly taking off his jacket to hold it over your head.

"Come on, darling. Let's get you out of the rain.." He gave you a smile, his gaze comforting you momentarily and he led you back to his car. He got you in the passenger side safely, closing the door and getting in the drivers side.

Once you were both safely in the car, he turned to you.

"Are you alright, darling? Are you cold?.." He asked you, noticing how tense you had become. You had completely frozen up, and you were shaking.

"I-I...I didn't take my pill..." You finally admitted with a shaky voice, looking back at him.

"You--You didn't?" He asked, already sounding worried. "You haven't?"

You shook your head.

"At all?"

You frowned, shaking your head again.

"Oh darling, why would you do that to yourself? That's an important thing for you.." He frowned, quickly starting the car.

"I-I'm sorry.." You whimpered quietly.

He turned back to you just after getting the engine on.

"No no no no, darling, I'm not--i'm not upset with you. I'm not mad.." He spoke softly, reaching a hand over to caress your cheek. "We need to get you home. Just try to keep your body calm, all right? Take deep breaths."

You gave a little nod, leaning back against the seat as he drove away from the diner. You really tried to stay calm, but it was harder since you weren't home. You just kept focusing on his voice.

"It's alright darling. It's alright. We're almost there. We're almost there. Just breathe."

He spoke over and over, as often as he could while he focused on the road. The rain had let up the closer you got to the house. By the time Tom had parked outside of it, the rain had stopped, but you were close to crying. You felt so cold and shaky. So anxious. This feeling sucks. You're on the verge of a panic attack and it sucks.

Tom got out of the car and immedietly moved around to the passenger side to help you out. He closed all the doors and locked the car, quickly bringing you back into the house. He brought you into your room and quickly got your pills and some water. He didn't want to be away from you for even a second now.

"Here you go, dear. You're going to be alright.." He gave you your pill, watching you place the pill on your tongue, then take a drink from the water to swallow it down. Your nerves were making you shake like crazy. The wet clothes certainly weren't helping.

"Okay, good girl. Good girl.." Tom smiled at you. He was trying his very best to comfort you, to help you through this panic. "Let's get you into some warm pajamas, alright?"

He helped you out of your wet clothes, bringing you some freshly cleaned PJ's. Once you were dressed again, he helped you get under the covers.

"I'm going to change into clean clothes, and then I'll come hold you and cuddle those nerves away, alright?" Tom smiled at you, gently kissing your forehead before moving to the dresser to change. You let him change into pajamas. He actually wore a white t-shirt this time. It has been colder lately. You missed him sleeping shirtless. You understand why he doesn't, though.

He turned off the lights and crawled into bed next to you, immediately pulling you into a cuddle, holding you close to his chest so you could listen to his heartbeat. You were still shaking even after his warm arms wrapped around you, but it wasn't as bad as it was before, thankfully.

"Th-Thank you.." You whimpered quietly, wrapping your arms around him. His heartbeat comforted you. He was so warm, and the rain hadn't washed his cologne away. "I-I'll...t-take my pill next time, I-I promise.."

"Shhh, darling, it's okay.." Tom spoke softly, petting your head with one hand. He kissed your forehead. "Sleep, my dear. Get some sleep. You're okay now. I'm here."

You gave a slight nod, closing your eyes as you laid by his chest. His warmth and comforting scent slowly lulled you to sleep, your nerves finally calming. That could've gone much worse. You were so happy that Tom wasn't mad at you for not taking your pills. Even while he was driving in the pouring rain earlier, you were his top priority.

Even so, you're shocked he wants you to move in with him. That's such a big step for a relationship, and you've only been together less than 3 months. Has your connection really grown that strong? Is that something you're really ready for? You haven't been in a serious relationship in a long time, but you could already tell that this was much different. You felt so happy with him. You loved being around him, having him in your streams, acting with him and sharing a bed. You loved being in his arms, making him laugh and gazing into his big blue eyes.

You...really are in love with him. As you fell asleep for the night, it hit you. He's treated you better than any man you've ever known, or ever been close to.

You love him.

You really do.

As you two were sleeping, though, Tom started to move a little more in his sleep, actually turning away from you entirely at some point. Feeling him pull away woke you up despite your grogginess. There was just something that told your body to wake up.

You opened your eyes to see Tom's back facing you, his body flinching slightly. You figured he was just having a dream, closing your eyes again to fall back asleep.

Until you heard him groan.

You opened your eyes again, watching as he turned to lay on his back. You got a look at his face, seeing his eyebrows furred and his eyes shut a little tighter than usual. You frowned. He didn't seem to be sleeping peacefully. That worried you.

You moved a little closer to him, gently placing a hand on his arm to at least let him know you were there. He's a bit of a light sleeper, though, as your touch woke him up. He immedietly sat up with a huff, panting heavily as if he had been running for hours.

"Tom, baby, what's wrong?.." You asked, sitting up with him. You placed a hand on his cheek so you could turn his head to face you. His eyes locked with yours, his panting slowing down some.

"What happened?"

"I..." Tom took a moment to calm his own nerves, letting out a deep breath. "I just...was having a bad dream.."

"You wanna talk about it?.." You asked, gently kissing the side of his head. He smiled slightly, laying back down with you

"You were just...in pain.." Tom explained, gazing into your eyes once again. "You were in a lot of pain. You were hurt, and there was nothing I could do to help. There was nothing I could say or do to ease your pain. I was...sort of forced to watch."

"Oh my god.." You frowned, caressing Tom's cheek once more, feeling his ginger beard on your fingers. "Was someone hurting me?"

"No, no one else was there.." Tom replied, his voice a little gravely. "You were...calling out to me, calling out for help, but I...couldn't get to you.." He frowned. "I couldn't help you."

"Do you have nightmares a lot?" You asked curiously, nuzzling him some to comfort him.

"No.." He shook his head slightly. "Not unless there's a reason.."

"Well...what could the reason be?" You tilted your head, seeing him turn his body up to the ceiling, thinking for a moment.

"...Perhaps part of me...feels guilty for last night.." Tom spoke. "For having you out so late.."

"No, Tom.." You frowned, turning him back to you. "It's not your fault. I'm the one that chose not to bring my pills. It's my fault.."

"I could've at least asked first. Yknow.." Tom replied. "I could've made sure. It hardly came to mind."

"I'm the one that didn't tell you.." You shook your head. "Please don't blame yourself. After I started panicking, you were right there to help me. You were so patient and caring and understanding. You took perfect care of me."

Tom listened to you, taking your words to heart.

"You've always taken care of me, since we first met. You've never done anything to put me in danger, and you've always been there for me when I'm in pain." You smiled warmly, moving some of his long curly hair back. "Please don't doubt yourself.."

Tom blushed some before smiling as well, cuddling up to you.

"Thank you.." He spoke, giving you a peck on the lips before laying close. "You always find a way to lift me up.."

You smiled, wrapping your arms around him once more. You were able to fall asleep once again rather easily, and so could he, having much better dreams for the rest of the night.