lunarflux - Tumblr blog

[lunarflux]

I use a generator for my characters, and Io was the first character I needed to see. When this iteration of a face appeared, I was instantly excited, thinking "holy shit it's her."

There were many other faces, but when this one showed up, it was so hard to see her as anything else. The only issue I had was the generator using the wrong eye color, but with some versions, I couldn't let the rest of the design go to waste.

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Altair is loosely inspired by a few characters - Lupin, Dumbledore, and, in some cases, Sirius. It was hard to imagine exactly how old he'd be, and I actually think these photos are aged up too much. In reality, I see him as a mustached Daniel Henney (ha, I wish). He has a very quiet demeanor, and he only ever smiles to himself and not very often.

He and Dumbledore's friendship and mentorship is not something I really dove into, but it'd be interesting to explore that more considering how Altair was willing to help Albus with the request.

[lunarflux]

Let's talk about this story while I anxiously try to get past my exhaustion and writer's block! (part 1)

Serpent on Fire as a title was a random thought that I somehow was able to work into the actual storyline. I would love to say that my planning ability was so impressive that I'd had this in mind from the start, but to show how this was just not the case, let's take this to the very beginning where this story was actually just an unnamed draft I wrote that sat in a Google Drive for over five years... and it wasn't even my Drive.

Back in college, my roommate and I would often talk about fanfiction. She and I wrote for completely different fandoms, but one of the few fandoms we shared was Harry Potter. We're both Slytherins and knew that together, we'd be able to plan something amazing since we'd planned something before (except it never made it to an actual story... I still have the full storyline written out in my notebook). This story was in her Drive as a shared document under the title "Harry Potter AU" and was initially built off a Draco story I tried to write back when I was in high school. This chapter actually never got used.

Anyway, the first two chapters were written out, and each OC was clearly meant to have each of our personalities - I was Io, she was Aster.

Last March, I unfortunately got laid off, and during my time trying to get back on my feet, I decided that I would finally try to get back into writing when I remembered that this draft existed and it had not been touched since around 2015 or 2016. I think it's important to mention that I wrote this - she and I worked on the plot together, but her part in planning actually stops very early on. I found the draft and did what I could to change things around, so that Aster was actually now a reflection of myself. If you see the contrast in Io and Aster's personalities, truly, Io is my true personality whereas Aster is who I would be if I wasn't so worried about what others thought. She's more impulsive and emotional, and Io thinks deeply and internalizes her heavy emotions to keep herself from feeling like a burden.

I always loved Draco's character even when I was younger. When I heard from one of the producers in a behind-the-scenes video that Draco was a foil for Harry in the way that Harry was always meant to make the right decision and Draco wants to but can't, I just grew more fervent in my opinion of him. I have always been the kind of person to want to know the depth of why someone acts the way they do and how the circumstances of our upbringings can help us to understand our personalities. That being said, it led me to further wonder where that threshold was for Draco - what would really push him to step away from his family and the Death Eaters? We saw small pieces of his redemption in the movie, but that was done purely out of the fact that he wasn't truly evil (an asshole, maybe). I wanted to completely see how it would play out if he had a personal reason outside of his family that could influence him to rip away from it all.

The second part of this was understanding what kind of person would be enough for Draco to want more. I struggled with this at first because I definitely thought I might have rushed Io and Draco's relationship, so I ended up sitting down and really thinking "why is he in love with her? how did he fall in love? when?" From that, I noticed that when he says he knows "enough," he really meant it. He didn't need to know more because it wasn't necessarily about what he knew about Io (and her personality, her upbringing, or her habits) because he was drawn to her based on what she didn't show. She didn't show weakness, but she showed a willingness to prove herself without expecting a reaction. She didn't try to get his attention (even though she already had it). She didn't flirt with him - instead, she invited him in to make his own assumptions based on the small things she was willing to show. In the same breath, despite her not knowing much about him, she felt naturally compelled to let him in because he was not aggressive, and he would only move forward if she allowed him to. I think Io looked at Draco like a severely misunderstood piece of art, and she couldn't understand why others couldn't see his beauty. And while there were definitely others who saw it, they tried to force more out of him, and that only made him recoil. She left the door open, told him that he could come in if he wanted to, and that openness and gentle way of giving him permission to be weak around her is why he loved her. No one else had let him be weak without ostracizing him for it. They gave each other permission to be weak and to see the other be weak.

Maybe one day I'll post a picture of that page where I broke down all these answers...

What should I explain next?

[lunarflux]

Finally getting around to writing...

As I mentioned in my previous post, I've been in the process of moving all week. At least, my computer is all set up, and I'm finally getting cozy in my new space. I'm so excited to get back to writing.

[lunarflux]

New Format

If you're here from my A03 - life has been hectic! I'm transforming this account into a place where I can post updates to my process and perhaps some teasers....

Right now, I'm in the process of moving, so there won't be any updates until I'm all settled in (Tuesday!).

[lunarflux]

Excerpt from my on-going Malfoy x OC / Hermione x OC fic Wattpad x FFN TLDR synopsis: Twins Io and Aster Visage transfer to Hogwarts at the behest of their uncle who witnessed a Seer prophesize Dumbledore's death. While at Hogwarts, Io catches the eye of Draco Malfoy who's more involved with the prophecy than she knows while Aster fights her desire for Hermione Granger after being torn between keeping her sister safe and holding onto the girl she's grown to love. Excerpt from Chapter 3: Two Blue Flames - Io and Aster attend their first Defense Against the Dark Arts class with Professor Snape who has them practice nonverbal spellcasting by dueling other students. Io and Draco test each other's strength, learning they match each other in determination and unspoken attraction.

"Tread carefully, Io." She suddenly sounded serious. "Harry and Draco are two sides of the same coin. Draco's family just got dragged through the mud, and Harry is the reason why. Even if Harry is only a friend... Draco could either think of it as a challenge or as a threat."

"There is no threat, no challenge, and no flirting." They stopped in front of the DADA classroom. "And besides," she pushed the door open, holding it without stepping forward. "Draco doesn't want to talk to me."

"And what makes you say that?" Aster pushed through. "It's only been a day. You should've seen him leaving breakfast right as you did. Even his friends gave it a second look. He's terribly pale, isn't he? Always looks so miserable. Then again, who can blame him? What a rotten year he's had. His father just got sent away to a very horrible place, he's had his and his mother's name plastered all over the Daily Prophet for walking out of the trial, and considering how little sunlight our common room gets, I seriously think he may be anemic."

"You got all that from one day?"

"You're the one trying not to look at him. I, on the other hand," she shrugged. "I have eyes. And so does Draco. He looks at you. Well, he looks at you when he's not sulking. Do you think Hogwarts students fool around every now and again?"

Io paused. "Aster, the entire sixth year just hit puberty."

"So, I take that as a yes?"

The conversation was cut short as Professor Snape entered the room. The room felt dark and gloomy, the walls littered with horrid, graphic paintings of what one might expect at the hands of a curse or something worse. At the corner of her eye, Io spotted the familiar shaggy dark hair of Harry Potter accompanied by Hermione and Ron Weasley. The redhead was impossible to miss.

Aster nudged her sister, noticing someone else. "You've got to be joking. They're all in this class - Draco is here."

The sullen scowl graced the front right corner of the room. It wasn't a surprise that this was his, along with a handful of other Slytherins, baileywick. She could tell just by the looks on their faces and the comfortable slouches that they felt at ease despite Professor Snape's effort to dampen everyone's spirit with his choice of decor.

"It's because this is their first N.E.W.T. year in DADA. D'you think they know we've already taken this exam back at Ilvermorny?"

"I seriously doubt it." Aster huffed, taking a seat in the center row, just a few tables back from the front. "And if Dumbledore did know, there's a reason why he put us in his class. I'll give you two guesses, and the answer rhymes with 'carry water'."

Io sat next to Aster, under the sly gaze of Draco who almost looked pleased to see her.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Professor Snape started his long, very eerie monologue about the perils and uses. The fatal dangers of coming face to face with Inferi. The soul-crushing pain of getting hit with the Cruciatis curse. Among other dreadful sounding curses, most of which were depicted on the walls, Snape laced his words with an authoritative caution, emphasizing the advantage of using nonverbal spells and counter-curses.

Aster found herself smiling as Hermione Granger answered Snape with hesitation despite being confident successfully quoting a line from their textbook. This classroom was a chaotic mix of excitement and fear. It was a playground for the twins, though they did well to hide it.

Uncle Altair taught them about nonverbal spells every year until last. It was paced alongside learning each spell, so that this lesson would not be batched all in one lesson but side-by-side with all the others. It was very beneficial, especially in this situation where no one else had dared to try.

Professor Snape instructed the class to pair up and practice. Aster felt the familiar twinge of excitement, giving her twin a 'good luck' pat on the back as they separated to find a dueling partner.

"Give it a go, Visage." Io stood across from Theo Nott who confidently pointed his wand right between her eyes. "Dueling club doesn't start until next week, and I want to see what you've got."

Without hesitation, Io whipped her wand in his direction, almost emitting a crack in the air like a crisp strike of lightning.

Theo crashed back into the wall, his chest heaving as he slowly slumped onto the cold floor. Io stood up straight, fixing her robes. "Get up, Nott. I'm not going easy on you until you know how to cast without your lips blubbering."

The class filled with snickers and sneers, mostly from the Gryffidnor students who relished in Slytherin house bullying each other for once.

Theo charged forward with weight in his steps. He mimicked Io's wand movement, but only managed to create a weak stun which Io knocked to the floor with her wand arm.

She raised her wand again, making Theo back up two steps, bracing himself. But instead of falling on his back again, his wand shot out of his hand into the air, clanking to the floor near the door to the class.

Snape grabbed Theo by the back of his shirt, dragging him out of the way. "Mr. Nott, I expected more from Slytherin house. Ms. Visage is merely showing off her Pukwudgie ego, but you're lucky she has somehow saved this house from embarrassment." He turned to face Io. "However, rebounding spells and stunning is much more difficult against a skilled hand."

Io thought for a moment that Snape was about to shoot a curse right at her chest but instead he called over a new partner for her.

Draco strutted over to where Snape stood, his wand ready at his side.

Clutching her wand, Io pulled her arm back, but before another crack could ripple through the air, Draco cast his stun, forcing Io back into the table behind her. Her pride dropped with the sound of the table dragging against the floor.

She gathered herself quickly, centering herself. Standing in a direct line across from Draco, she looked up. A menacing stare glazed over her face. "Again."

Draco smiled confidently, his wand arm ready to fire. "Not aggressive enough for you?" A few of the students giggled at his comment, unsure of how to interpret the tension between these two. It could've been described as magnetic - if the magnets were two raging blue flames trying not to join into one.

"I said, again, Draco."

On the opposite side of the room, Harry Potter noticed Io referring to Malfoy by his first name and chalked it up to Slytherin house familiarity. He expected someone like Io to hate Malfoy as much as he did, and he couldn't help but observe with Ron the brief duel happening on that side of the class.

Despite the brief conversation, Harry thought he'd made a friend, knowing fully well those were difficult to come by as the years went on. The girl who he'd had such a gentle conversation with this morning was suddenly this dark force to be feared. He couldn't have imagined having someone like her during the fight at the Ministry last year. The look on her face would've made a Death Eater question who she was, what she knew, and what she was capable of.

Draco started once more, his wand meeting an invisible target at Io's chest, but this time her arm was faster, rebounding the stun into the far wall. As soon as her hand fell, she brought her wand up, whipping around her head like a lasso before casting Incarcerus. The ropes flew through the air in Draco's direction as he hurriedly cast his protection charm.

There was a poetic battle between them, neither giving the other time to recover from casting. Everyone else in the room couldn't help but stop to observe in between their own exercise - Snape included. Io felt the ache setting into her shoulder, but her pride wouldn't allow her to waver, not even for a second. As Draco moved, his blonde locks gradually fell into his face, gently curtoning across his forehead. His eyes were determined, fiery yet playful and clearly amused. He was enjoying this, this kind of interaction didn't need words (nonverbal spells aside). He could feel her rage, her strength. The power in the air around her as she stared straight at him, her icy gray eyes meeting his blue like they were mentally connected. He could predict her moves, and every time she surprised him, he grew more intrigued.

Stepping out of his thoughts, Draco darkened his gaze, stepping forward and casting a particularly strong jinx in Io's direction. The force of Io's protection spell was enough to make his knees buckle.

But she didn't stop there, planting her forward foot down as her hand lashed back down, a roaring fire shooting out of the tip of her wand.

Draco stumbled backwards, his protection charm briefly failing, a flicker of fear disrupting the smirk on his face.

Professor Snape sidestepped in between them, his wand creating a void in between the flames before loudly declaring, "Enough! Sit down, Visage, before you start a fire in my classroom. 20 points to Slytherin."

He looked at the rest of the class who all, by now, were intently staring at the sapphire haired girl who was panting with adrenaline. Io calmed her breaths, walking over to Draco. She held her hand out as a sign of truce. Draco took her hand without comment, his palm was warm as he gripped hers for a second longer than she expected.

"Could almost swear you looked a little scared, Draco." She looked up at him, doing her best to steady herself. "I hope I didn't wear you out too much before lunch."

For the first time, Draco smiled genuinely. This sort of thing made his chest feel funny. Like he found a kindred spirit, though not as dark as his. She wasn't like Pansy, and she was tougher than some of his friends. It was less about impressing him and more about proving they were equals. His smile fell as soon as he realized he was doing it. Still holding her hand, he yanked his arm back, her cheek nearly meeting his shoulder as his lips skimmed the edge of her ear.

"You're going to have to try a little harder to tire me out."

[lunarflux]

For Harry Potter fanfic readers,

I just started a new Malfoy/OC fic on fanfiction.net! Please give it a read :)

[lunarflux]

unnamed characters

suggested background music: Just Pretend - Bad Omens

note: this is NOT a noah/bad omens fic, i just like to write about the emotions i pick up in songs

Today wasn't as bad as yesterday, but it was worse than the day before that.

When you try to forget someone, but you have to actively think about forgetting them - it's like needles in your throat or a fire on your spine. The feeling lingers and lingers until it just doesn't anymore.

Had it been months? Days?

Seconds?

Had it really been seconds since the last time I thought about you without such bitterness?

The bitter taste in my mouth was not a reflection of you, but maybe the absence of you. The feeling of the void tasted bitter, and it made me ache all over for days at a time.

But maybe it's better to have this taste than to think of the sweetness of loving you. That sweet, sticky taste coated my mouth, my throat, and trickled its way into my bloodstream. My lips swear they remember the way you tasted. It was all muscle memory - the spot on your neck, the twitch of your fingers, the flutter of your eyes before we sank into each other. My fingertips still feel you, and my limbs swear your body never left my bed.

You became the substance in me that I couldn't ignore, couldn't forget, and couldn't resist. Days of that sugar on my fingertips, is it better to feel it on my skin than to shrink down and accept the ache?

If we wanted to try again, we would, and if you asked me if I could wait, I would.

And if you told me to turn around and never look back, I would try - but only because it's you who told me to.

There are the days when the bitter feeling takes over everything I touch. Nothing looks the same because it's not with you. This was the feeling of needing to forget but not knowing how. The pressure on my chest was a reminder that even breathing felt sour.

Would it be painful to keep remembering? Would remembering hurt more than forgetting? And when I do eventually forget, would it hurt that much more to know I was able to forget you?

Sometimes I breathe in the cold summer air just to give my lungs rest from the fire, but the embers well up in my chest until all I can do is let the memories dissipate into "what was" instead of "what we are."

One day, I will forget you, and it will break me. But the version of myself who lives past you will pick up the pieces and build something new.

So when that shattered, but whole version of me inevitably crosses paths with you again, what will you have me do? You left me with the ache, and I ached until this was my new numb. And if you say, let's try again - now that we're both broken and pieced back together again - would I dare say yes?

Would I say yes, knowing that when I put myself back together, I found every piece of me except the one you stole when you said your last goodbye?

[lunarflux]

i thought i knew the truth of all, but to put it simply - you're all i need

bang chan x reader

genre — fluff!au

suggested background music: x

note: part 1 - in case you wondered how this personal situation of mine is going

You stared at the fridge door with shallow breaths. It was times like this when the single clock that hung above your living room cabinets seemed to tick extra loud.

The wedding invitation stuck to the door with a small magnet, and it'd been there for months. Even though you'd practically memorized it, it never got any easier to read.

He was getting married.

It wasn't like you and your ex had any lingering feelings, but knowing the one real love you'd ever experienced was suddenly gone from your life forever, it was an entirely new feeling. It felt the same as being lost - like you were standing in the middle of a room and someone turned off the lights without any warning. This was the feeling of "You're being forgotten" pressing down on your chest.

It hasn't gotten any easier.

You'd RSVP'ed two weeks ago, and you'd already forgotten that you'd scribbled a name as your plus one.

It was Chan; the coworker who was there the first time you found out your ex had moved on.

Chan always kept a comfortable distance. He'd bring you coffee on Mondays, and on Friday, he'd bring extra snacks. When the office would go out after work, he was always taking the shots you were too inebriated to take, and if you needed to drink your sorrows, he was always ready to drive you home.

You'd developed a soft spot for him, but knowing that you were still lingering in the bittersweet feeling of heartache kept you from getting too close. Chan was too kind, too good to ever be used as some kind of cushion for loneliness.

He hung around often now that he knew the wedding was steadily approaching. Maybe he thought you were likely to drown yourself in alcohol again.

Chan opened the fridge, interrupting your silent stare.

"Are you ready?"

You nodded quietly. "My dress is back from the cleaners, and the landlord said she'd check on the dogs for me."

He nodded, taking a sip of water. "But are you ready to see him? Like that?"

"I don't think I ever thought I'd have to see him like that, so - no. I'm not ready." You laughed despite feeling like your heart was still sore.

Chan grabbed one of your hands and massaged your palm.

Despite keeping a comfortable distance, it was little gestures like this that made you feel awful. He was close enough to just melt into, but it all seemed like it was too soon. He might think he was just a replacement - a pain pill to swallow because getting over your ex just hurt so much.

It was also little gestures like this that actually made the pain dissipate. It was confusing. You didn't know if you were really healing because of Chan or because you were just getting used to the feeling.

You pulled your hand away slowly.

Chan held his breath before sighing. "Are you sure you want me to go? Whenever I -"

"Yes, please, I really don't think I could do this without you." You stifled a smile.

"I just feel like you can't figure out if you're comfortable around me or not." He finished. "I don't want... to make you feel like you have to be around me or string me along."

"Do you think I'm stringing you along?"

"No - no, I just -" He laughed nervously. "Please don't hate me for saying this. I just can't tell where you've set your boundaries with me."

"My boundaries?"

Chan bit his lip as he tried to find the right words. "Look I don't want you to think that I only look after you because I'm trying to date you, but I would also be lying if I said I didn't... already like you."

The second those words passed his lips, the wedding invite fell to the floor and flew across the kitchen.

He met you by the floor, fingers grabbing the other corner of the invite.

In what seemed like a small game of tug-of-war, you both sat down on the floor, the invite separating your hands.

Chan's grip on the poor sheet of cardstock tightened. "I didn't want to just dump that on you, but I felt like I was going to burst if I didn't say it out loud. There are just some days where - I swear - I feel like I can't help but look at you like -" He paused.

It wasn't that you had nothing to say. It's just that hearing him say it made everything change. The air in the room, the way his voice sounded - the color of his hair, his eyes, his lips - it was all changing.

" - like you were everything I wanted." He dropped his corner of the invitation. "And I know how shitty my timing is, trust me, I get it. We're literally going to a wedding tomorrow for a guy who shattered your heart into pieces, and, to be honest, I fucking hate the guy for how he made you feel so it will take everything in me not to punch him just because it's his wedding."

He paused his rant to take a breath and let out a chuckle.

"But every time I see you give in and then pull away, it makes me think you don't want me to get the wrong impression. So I'll say it first. I like you. And I know you're still hurting. I just need you to know that if giving in is making you feel like a burden - "

He wasn't making eye contact with you, and it drove you crazy.

Dropping the invitation, you leaned in, practically sitting in his lap. Your lips landed on his. The scent of his cologne trailing off his collar and into your hair. He was keeping you steady, keeping you close, and it just felt like drifting into a dream.

The kisses were small, imperfect, but sweet and genuine. And when it was time to catch your breath, he left more imprints of his lips on your cheeks before kissing your nose gently.

You readjusted, still sitting in his lap on the kitchen floor.

"I think I'll be okay tomorrow." You kissed his forehead. "Please just stay with me. And if, after the nightmare is over, you decide you still want to... be here, messily on the kitchen floor with me, then I would like that."

Chan returned the kiss, letting his lips linger on the base of your neck.

"This is the only place I want to be."

[lunarflux]

like dust coating the books, unread on your shelf, my love grew and gathered around you ever so quietly

hwang hyunjin x reader

genre — fluff!au

suggested background music: x

note: hi, this has been reoccurring in my head as a daydream while listening to this song for the past month

Sunlight hit Hyunjin's eyes first before he realized that his face was warm. The sun had risen half an hour ago, and he'd missed the dawn. It took a moment for everything to come into focus.

As his eyes adjusted, he was met with the strangest thing - a black ceiling fan. And pale blue sheets.

This ceiling was not his, and he knew his sheets were white. This was not his room.

Rubbing his eyes, careful not to strain, Hyunjin took deep breaths of foreign air. He turned over towards the windows.

There you were - sleeping soundly, quietly, and heavily in the Saturday morning sunlight.

Hyunjin almost released an audible gasp, but he didn't know how heavy of a sleeper you were. Your eyes were still fluttering.

Looking around again, the calendar on the wall caught his eye.

October 12th had a red mark around it, and slowly, some memories came back.

You two met that Tuesday. It was the day you'd moved into your new apartment in Itaewon, and you looked so innocent and so lost. Hyunjin caught you trying to find the bookstore around the corner.

It was on that Friday that he realized he was looking for you and expecting you to turn that corner. Straight to the mystery novels, but you'd always come in with a notebook and pen as if you were writing a novel of your own.

On Saturday, he asked you out on a date.

The dates were slow. Sweet.

And at the end of every night, he'd walk you back to your apartment. You'd kiss him sweetly and say -

"See you tomorrow."

A dozen dates, and it was always the same. You'd place your hand on the line of his jaw, your fingers tugging ever so gently just below his ear. The kisses were always simple - impactful. And at some point, he wondered if it'd always be like this.

A tug, a kiss, and a see you tomorrow.

The notion terrified him, but it wasn't enough to discourage him.

He'd still show up to your office with coffee and flowers, patience on his lips. You'd still reciprocate - a tug, a kiss, and a tomorrow.

On the thirteenth date - lucky thirteen, Hyunjin wondered again.

He walked you to the outside entrance of your apartment just as he'd done for the past three weeks - not as your boyfriend or as your lover, not as a friend but not as a stranger.

Your fingers tugged him again - another kiss and a tomorrow.

Hyunjin turned his heel to grab a taxi home, but this time was different. This time you stopped him. The tug wasn't that of your fingers on his chin but of your gasp on the hem of his jacket.

The rest of his night - that was all a blur, a jumble of memories that hadn't yet pieced themselves together yet in his mind. Blips of holding your hand in the elevator - your hand gripping his so tightly. Your fingers trembling with the lock of your apartment door. The uneasy silence as you pulled him into you as the door shut.

He followed your pace - slow, steady, but so sure of the next move. It was all natural with you. When his lips met the supple skin of your neck, your fingers tangled through his hair, but when your eyes met his, it was a maddening silence, seconds ticking through heavy air and tempered breaths.

It was coming back now. Hyunjin's jacket was by the front door, and his jeans were in the hall. Your blouse was thrown near the couch, but his shirt was -

You stirred.

His shirt was on you. Your bare shoulder peaked through the collar.

This is how the night ended. Well, this is how the morning began. As each step of your dance completed itself in Hyunjin's mind, the flush rose to his cheeks. This was the tomorrow you'd teased him with and the morning he didn't know he was waiting for.

Grabbing his phone, Hyunjin ordered two americanos and milk bread for immediate delivery.

On time, as he came back into the room, your coffees balanced in his arms, you sighed awake.

A tug, a kiss, and a forever in the bed beside him.

[lunarflux]

"how could i forget the feeling of falling in love with you"

hwang hyunjin x reader

genre — drama!au

for @simp-alert

suggested background music: x

note: soooo i've been in a funk for a few months. i didn't expect people to still find my fics, so i'm very grateful. this fic has been in my drafts for a week or two, and the end originally was different because it mirrored the way i wanted my situation to end. after healing some more, i realized that this is the way it should end.

It had been a while. That was really all you could think to describe the situation you and Jinyoung had been through for the past few years. While your relationship was nearly perfect, life pulled him away, and it was just a matter of time before one of you moved on first. It wasn't like you expected him to wait because, hey, if he really was as wonderful as you thought he was - who wouldn't fall in love with him?

It was the part where he fell in love that made it so much worse. It was like seeing the possibilities of you two reuniting like some cheesy romance novel just burn away and float into the air.

While you two remained friends, this was the week you were dreading.

Jinyoung was moving back, and now it was time to face the beautiful demon you'd worked so hard to forget.

Checking your makeup and hair in the mirror, you thought you'd put little effort into your looks. This wasn't a date. Let's make that perfectly clear. This was simply two friends reuniting after not seeing each other for a few years. By now, you were comfortably single and not looking for anything anymore. Relationships were exhausting, but being in love with Jinyoung was a marathon.

You walked to the bar, peeping at your phone every now and then.

And there he was on the other side of the glass. He didn't look too different. His skin was just as clear though his face looked a little slimmer. Somehow his hair still looked the same despite the time away.

Taking one step towards the door, you hesitated. Truly, he was there. But suddenly, the years of realizing that you'd let yourself wait for someone who wasn't waiting for you came flooding back like a reality check. He was here waiting for you for the first time in years. Did it really seem fair that he didn't have to wait that long?

You took two steps back. It didn't feel right anymore. The daydreams didn't seem so sweet, and your brain went into flight mode.

"Oh - " You ended up backing into someone else. "I'm so sorry!"

The stranger steadied you with both hands and a warm smile. "It's fine - are you okay? You look a little in shock."

"I'm... uh..." You took one last look past the bar patrons. Jinyoung was still there. "I'm okay."

The handsome stranger nodded. "You sure? I've had a couple of beers, so I don't mind playing therapist if you need to talk."

You held up a finger with every intention of shutting him up. "Actually. Okay, fine. Let's talk."

"Let's talk." He nodded.

"If your girlfriend broke up with you because of work and said you two might get back together in the future -"

"Move on." He hung his head back with a cackle. "Move the fuck on."

"But -"

"Okay, fine." He held up his hands in surrender. "Continue. Why didn't you move on?"

"I didn't say it was me!"

"Okay, fine - why didn't your friend move on?"

"If she broke up with you and then dated someone else, but now she's back and she wants to see you - what would you do?"

Your for-the-moment companion's smile lessened, and he placed his hand on your head, patting slowly. "I'd realize that I'm being a fool. If she really loved me, she wouldn't have made me wait. And if I was smart, I would have known that no one waits forever. Yeah, shit happens. She might have been serious. But would I really have been able to get back to loving her the way I used to knowing she gave her love to someone else while I stood here and waited?"

You pushed passed the stranger, nearly knocking him over in the process. "I'm going home."

"Hey, wait - " He grabbed your arm. "Look, I'm sorry, I can be an asshole when I drink -"

"It's not you." You took a deep breath. "You're right. I'm being stupid."

Running his hand through his hair first, he held out a friendly gesture. "Before this conversation continues, my name is Hyunjin. I'm sorry you had to see me... not at my best."

"y/n. And don't worry, this isn't exactly my best look either." You shook Hyunjin's hand.

"Do you maybe wanna go for a walk?"

**

"So are you still in love with him?" Hyunjin walked slowly beside you, sipping on a strawberry milk.

Piercing the straw through your coffee milk, you shrugged. "Maybe. I don't really know. I thought seeing him again would make things fall into place, and it wouldn't have felt like I waited so long."

"What'd you like about him?"

"He made me laugh, and I felt safe."

Hyunjin poked your cheek. "Yeah, well, a good comic and a lock can do the same thing."

You pushed him away. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. It's just hard to forget."

"What you liked about him?"

"How it felt to be so sure that I was in love with him."

Hyunjin stopped walking and sat down. The moon was full tonight, and it made your heart feel heavy. This stranger made the weight feel a little less like a burden.

"I remember that feeling." He sighed, laying his head back on the grass. "Though it's been a while, you don't really forget. It's like everything that ever stressed you out, every secret you kept under your collar - it all goes away. You're just happy."

You joined him, seeing the moonlight glistening in his eyes. "Are you a poet or something?"

"No, I'm just a romantic." He turned to face you. "I could say that right now being here with you is making me feel like I shouldn't need to drink. Or... that being here with you is making me forget about how awful my day was. How I wasn't expecting to bump into someone so beautiful yet sad."

Hyunjin's words put a bug in your throat, and you couldn't bring yourself to look at him. Turning your attention back to the moon, you just let him continue.

"You don't need to walk around with the perfect stranger to forget about him. You just need to move on."

"Easier said than done, isn't it?"

"Of course, it is. But feeling happy and feeling safe is something anyone - it's something I could give you."

You smirked. "Why - you gonna make me fall in love with you?"

Hyunjin turned one more time, his face directly above yours. His hand cupped your cheek. "Depends."

The scent of strawberry trickled down your cheeks. Hyunjin truly was the definition of a hopeless romantic. He was making your chest feel heavy and the world feel small.

"O-On what exactly."

"I'm ready to fall in love again. Are you?"

[lunarflux]

Hey ^^ I'm one of the anon requester, and I just wanted to ask if everything is alright with you? why are you sad? :(

FNLABDLANDOS I'M SO SORRY

Basically the thing in my last Chan fic happened (-': it's been a few months and I'm finally better

[lunarflux]

Hey, can u write story about song mino?

Bruh I haven't written about him forever - I can try!!!! Any genre or....?

[lunarflux]

Hi, I've been really sad lately, I'm sorry

[lunarflux]

"i promised i'd forget, but you're all i see when i dream the night away"

bang chan x reader

genre — drama!au

suggested background music: x

note: like i said - i put a lot of my life into writing. something similar to this happened to me today, and i'd like to think that music is getting me through it. i wanted to add more of a "post credits" scene for chan and o/c, but this is how my day is going and how this situation ends.

The world never felt so heavy.

You'd never thought that scrolling through social media could create this bleeding ring in your ears, yet somehow here you are, unable to look at your phone. The photo you stumbled across had already been burned into your memory. There were times when you could forget what song you'd just listened to, and yet this one image had suddenly been burned, a permanent nightmare in your mind.

Your ex looked happy. It wasn't a bad breakup, but after a year, you couldn't expect him to stay single forever. You'd both agreed to move on, and while you swore you had, seeing the photo of him with a beautiful girl kissing his cheek made your shoulders heavy. Staring at your blacked out screen, it was like the photo was still there, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't keep yourself from seeing it. Every time you closed your eyes, there he was.

Happy.

You fumbled with your cell phone, placing it face down on your desk before your boss could catch you. It was hard to hide the look on your face. It was pain, sadness, and confusion. How was it that after all this time, you hadn't succeeded in moving on, but he had?

Was it you? Or was this girl really so special that you were worth forgetting?

The feeling of being forgotten - it's seeing the dust gather on photos and the doorknob that he will never open again.

It's over.

"Do you have the paperwork for the meeting tomorrow?" Chan popped into your office, placing a fresh mug of coffee on your desk. You'd started here only six months ago, but he already knew that you liked your coffee light and sweet. "Jisoo wants to make sure we're not missing anything before -"

"Yeah, I have it." You said curtly, looking back at your computer, typing away at your report. "I'll bring it to you later."

"I mean, I can wait for it if you have it ready."

"Chan," you looked up at him. "I said I'll bring it to you later."

Chan looked at you with mild concern. Sure, there were a lot of women in the office, and the men had eventually learned when not to step on toes in the case of any mood swings because of work stress. You weren't one of those people though. You were the type of person who'd rid the stress with a bar of chocolate and be done with it. You'd never snapped at him before.

"Okay." Chan backed out quietly. He ducked into the next office over. Knocking on Minki's office door, he peered in.

"Hey," Minki stood up. "I gotta bring these to the fourth floor, can you watch the phone for me?"

"Yeah, no problem." Chan smiled before taking a seat.

Ping

He knew that you and Minki were office best friends ever since you got hired. While he didn't mean to see it, Minki left his messenger open and slowly your messages came flooding in.

x: he moved on x: am i supposed to be upset? x: we broke up a year ago, so why do i feel so defeated haha x: maybe i'm just decomposing. why do i feel like this x: can we get drinks later? i know you hate it when i drink to drown out my sorrows, but i just can't be here right now.

Damn.

Chan swore he didn't mean to see all that. That would explain the mood though.

x: i didn't think i'd miss him this much. i just want to forget about it.

Taking in a deep breath, Chan pulled out his phone and made a call.

**

"Chan, why did you need me for this stupid client dinner? And who the hell has dinner at 4PM?" You continuously complained as he drove you down the road into the next district.

"Just relax, it'll be fine."

You rested your head against the passenger side window. As your breath fogged up the glass, you scribbled little hearts, peppered over the skyline as Chan drove. It wasn't until you started seeing signs that you realized you were at Banpo Bridge. Chan pulled into the empty parking lot.

"The client wants to have dinner here? What are we doing - getting takeout?" You jested.

Chan opened your door. "Go sit over there, I'll be right back."

You took your seat right by the edge of the water. The weather really was perfect today. The fresh air helped clear out your thoughts. Even though the breakup was a year ago, seeing that photo really made it feel like it just happened yesterday. Your heart broke twice, and yet you couldn't bring yourself to think that you hate him now. You loved him as a memory - a beautiful, happy memory, and it was time to let go now.

Chan re-emerged next to you, a bag with four bottles of soju and piping hot ramen in his hands.

"Um -" You nearly laughed at the sight of him struggling to carry everything. "Am I missing something? Are the clients your drinking buddies?"

"Sit, sit, please." Chan arranged everything down on the ledge.

"Not that I'm ungrateful, but I am confused."

"I, uh." He sat down next to you, removing his jacket. "I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me."

Stopping halfway from opening a bottle, you looked up at him.

"y/n, Minki had me watch over his desk, and I... I'm sorry, I saw your messages."

"Chan, that was private." You looked down at your shoes, feeling the heaviness in your chest again.

"I know. And I'm sorry." He grabbed the bottle from you and opened it himself. "Minki had to run to another meeting, and I saw how sad you were. I just figured I'd help you escape for a bit. I called in a favor from the interns to watch your stuff, so we could... do this, I guess."

You'd always known Chan was a softie. He was that guy in the office who never forgot about birthdays and important events. He was never late, and he would do everything he could to help out the new people. Even to you, he was a big help whenever you needed it.

"Again, I'm sorry." He poured two shots and handed you one. "But you looked like you needed it, so - cheers."

You watched him as you threw back your soju. You stifled a smile, "Pitiful, isn't it. Still feeling like you've been dumped even after an entire year."

Chan winced as the alcohol hit the back of his throat. "Not at all. Who said that a year was the right time to get over someone? There's no rule for that."

You continued to sip slowly, watching him open up all the snacks.

"I haven't had a girlfriend in years, and I swear, after my last girlfriend and I broke up, I couldn't stop thinking about her even because of the littlest things. It wasn't a bad breakup, but when you have so many happy moments with someone, you can't help but feel sad when you see that person making new moments with someone else. It makes you wonder if that could've been me, y'know?"

It couldn't be stopped. One deep breath and suddenly all the tears started pouring out. You couldn't control your breathing, and it felt like the weight of the world finally came crashing down on your chest, reminding you of every little happy memory that had to be released into the ocean like confetti.

Chan rushed over, placing his jacket on your shoulders. He hushed you, rubbing your arms to warm you up. Crouching down in front of you, he pulled you up and brought you into his chest.

"Wait, I'll get makeup on your shirt -"

He laughed at your childish worries. "It's just a shirt. Just go ahead, it's okay. I can get it dry-cleaned, and you're worth more than some shirt."

Feeling your tears soak up in the cotton, you just cried, and Chan let you until it felt like there was nothing left. You chest was still heaving, but you felt the weight lift slowly. The sea air started filling your lungs again like an icy burn.

"I'm sorry." You finally looked up, mascara stained on your cheeks. You smeared what you could from your face before sitting.

"Stop apologizing." Chan sat down beside you again. "Do you feel better?"

"A little."

Placing his hand on yours, Chan smiled. It was a warm gentle smile. He squeezed, "It will get better. I promise."

"I just feel like everyone keeps moving on, and I'm just stuck here."

"Where is 'here' to you? 'Here' to me is existing with a good job with good friends and a good life. 'Here' is anything you're doing happily without him." He reached up to cup your cheek. "I know you feel miserable, but your body won't let you feel this way forever. And neither will I. Please don't feel as if 'here' is an awful place. 'Here', you have me, and I'll stay until you're not sad anymore."

Peering up at him with red eyes, you smiled with whatever energy you had. Sadness still sat on your shoulders, but it didn't feel so awful anymore.

Chan nodded towards you.

"Until you're not sad or until you ask me to leave - I'll be here for you."

[lunarflux]

@ my anon requesters

Please leave an emoji with your requests! I add all requests to a writing queue since I don't like leaving things unread in my inbox.

[lunarflux]

Hi! I saw that you are still accepting astro based requests, so I would like one with Felix. And I'm a Virgo. thanks.

WHY DIDN’T I SEE THIS KJSAHGLKAJHGLAK

Virgo/Felix is a lovely match 💜 added to the queue!