#is2g he drives me up the wall

[umilily]

pls keep your fingers crossed for me that after finishing this course i will never have to talk to this dude who took it with me ever again, bc otherwise i'm about to do something drastic.

[abirddogmoment]

What are your hashtage heel hacks? 👀

These #heel hacks are going to be SO basic for anyone who actually knows how to train a heel, but for me training my first sports dog, they were so helpful.

**A note that these worked for my dog, a brittany spaniel. These #hacks might not be the best course of action for a dog with different engagement, focus, or drive. Don't @ me, I stand by my methods for my dog.**

In no particular order, here are my foundation hashtag heel hacks:

decide what you want your heel to look like before you start training. prancy? jump into heel position? touching your leg? eye contact 100% of the time? all valid, but decide what you want before you start and keep that picture in your brain. be realistic though.

train a pivot right away. we (shoutout to miles who actually taught it) used the bowl method. mav has zero rear end awareness, but you need a pivot for a truly nice heel and the bowl method works great.

train a stationary heel position. treat SO MUCH when it looks like your goal (hard eye contact, touching leg, tight sit, whatever). i used the pivot bowl to start but faded it really quickly so he didn't depend on it.

train a "get into heel position" (finish). start with one side and get it fairly solid before working on the second side. i personally think a right finish is easier than a left finish. i give different cues (get around / get in) but you don't have to. i shaped it but you can lure it with a hand touch.

give treats generously and consistently when the dog is giving you the heel you want. mav has received literally thousands of treats and kibbles for offering a nice heel position.

watch where and how you're treating. you can very easily throw off your dog's position and cause crowding or forging by giving treats in the wrong position. (at the beginning) i hold treats in my left hand and bring my hand to mav's nose so he doesn't move from heel position. i have not had any issues with treats affecting his position, but i know this is one of the most common issues people face.

if the dog is distracted, pause training. i usually ask for something easy like a nose touch, then release so he can go check out whatever was distracting him. i don't care enough to force him through his distraction (although i used to, and it made him not want to engage with me at all).

teach heel off leash if you can, but practice heeling with the leash on a variety of gear too!!! treats in your left hand, leash in your right hand, and keep the leash loose. i don't use a leash to teach heel position but i do practice at least once or twice a week with a leash on.

(this #hack sucks but) literally practice every day. we live and train mostly in a tiny apartment and we practice 5-15 steps of nice heeling every night for dinner kibbles.

I don't use body pressure to teach heel, it just doesn't interest me and i don't mind spending extra time shaping it. with that in mind:

i don't use a wall to keep the dog straight (EXCEPT when i was teaching back up, because mav has no rear end awareness). i shape it with hundreds of reps and treats. if he heels askew, i just ask him to fix himself and he does.

i don't use a platform or the edge of the carpet or anything. i don't want a slightly crooked mat in a trial to throw him off so i don't (purposefully) train any association with lines on the floor.

i only work on heel for tiny, tiny portions of time in a session (45 seconds at a max). for example, I'll do 10 seconds of heeling, then some spins, then some position changes, then a bow, then a jump, then 10 more seconds of heel, then pivots, then fronts, then stays. i keep it SHORT and heavily rewarded and that's how i get nice dependable engagement.

For my next dog, here are some things i'll do differently than mav (mav was my first puppy and my first sports dog, i simply did not know better):

rear end awareness. that dog will know where her butt is is2g.

pivots and stationary position much sooner - mav didn't have this until he was almost 3 years old.

more turns. not even pivots, just working on keeping my dog's attention when i change direction. this was a battle with mav since he was a baby and i only fixed it a few months ago.

That's really it! These are extremely basic foundations and tips (not even hacks) but i didn't know it until i tried it. It takes a long time to get a nice heel, and even longer if you're getting prancy with it, and even longer if you're lazy like me and only do 45-60 seconds of heeling a day.

Be generous with treats and be patient with the both of you.

[inexchangeforyoursoul]

Hey... hey @transhawks ​,,, happy afterbirthday :D

(I “finished” something,,, the DabiHawksTwice thing. The one that is spicy. Something that’s positively not for small beans’ eyes, shoo, little ones.) Also it’s one of the v few things I have that are of this nature and the first I’m legit publishing, so sorry if it’s awkward (not a single beta has seen this either asfasfds)

(And to anyone who may not know, this is to go with the art I already have on my blog, but especially the one that I had to put elsewhere bc of the policy lmao: dA tweet) (babies don't click is2g)

Hawks' consciousness phases back bit by bit, blissful oblivion turning into the itch of drying tears in his eyes, the press of warm bodies against his, and the rhythm of their soft panting. The perfect peace after a cascade of wonderful, wonderful feelings, noises and sensations. He could stay like this forever.

"Welcome back, angel," purrs Dabi's gravelly voice next to him; Hawks can feel every vibration underneath him and his fingertips as he lays on top of the man. The golden irises slide into focus and look upwards to meet smoldering blue ones. Another pair of lips brushes against his cheek, tickling his face with the surrounding stubble. He turns to have them press against his in a deep kiss; his holes twitch at the sensation, and even more so at the fingers tugging at his hair. So full… so filled. So whole.

"You are all ours now," the fire user continues as Hawks lays his head back down panting, Twice doing the same on his shoulder while his hand slips back down from the blonde feathery locks to caress both the hero and Dabi's sides. "All mine and Jin's. Nobody else's."

Something blooms in Hawks' chest upon hearing that while Dabi's fingers replace the previous ones and rub into his scalp. Something dangerous, terrifying, awe inspiring, something that cannot be anything else but his heart singing in utter joy.

His sex and anus twitch around the half hard dicks again.

Claimed.

"Really?" Is it really true?

He's been claimed.

Dabi shifts to pull him into a kiss of his own, excessively hot and wet and all kinds of right. Whether he's humming into it in pleasure or as a way of agreement is questionable; perhaps it's the reason why he reiterates upon breaking apart. Twice's arm has slid in meanwhile and is supporting their heads, making sure that they don't lose each other from sight. "Really."

A small, but all the more genuine smile appears on Hawks' exhausted face; this time around, it's his wings that want to flutter, smushed as they are under the comforting weight of Twice. "I'm glad," he squeaks in a small voice, earning him another kiss on the temples as he basks in the sensation warming his chest.

Dabi sighs as the sandwiched bird's hips sway a quiet minute later in an attempt to get him balls deep in again. "Eager for more, aren't you."

"Need you… deeper," Hawks mumbles through a pleased sigh as the blonde behind him accommodates the voiced need to be filled proper and kindly shifts him lower to have Dabi bottom out as well. He could… he can go again.

"Dabi… you ready for round two? I have a couple more in me," Twice says as if reading Hawks’ mind, pulling out halfway only to slam into the hero, making him whimper into the crook of Dabi's neck. Hawks would love to have him fill his heated cunt with his own cum as well, but doesn’t want to waste time with cleaning up, and neither does he want to do something unsanitary. "Need a timeout?"

He’ll also gladly take another load of Twice's up the ass, though. And a clone’s down his throat, if it comes to that.

"As long as you two stop using me as a chaise-longue, I'll be fine," moans Dabi as Hawks pushes himself on shaky elbows (was sex always meant to be so exhilarating?), minding the staples that came loose somewhere down the line, a few of them still bleeding. He can feel stains of fresh rust on him, too.

He sighs a soft “oh dear” and leans back down to kiss and lick the wounds better, relishing the metallic taste he laps up. It satisfies another, entirely different carnal need of his- he can practically feel the invisible shackles inhibiting him snap off by the dozen as his heart starts racing again. Warm, sticky liquid pools around Dabi’s cock inside him as his walls tighten around it once more. The man acknowledges this with a shaky sigh, a tentative hip roll and one of those thigh squeezes that drive Hawks mad for more.

It's then that Twice starts moving to set a slow pace; oh, he’s just so good to him… knows exactly what his body needs. Hawks lifts his ass a little so they can return to the intoxicating rhythm of pounding into the hero in quick turns of never ending pleasure, just like they did a couple minutes ago. The fact that his legs fell asleep in the awkward position and he cannot actually feel them apart from the prickly needles of blood pressing into his veins doesn't bother him in the slightest; the boys can just take the reins if he can't keep up.

He can feel everything that matters, anyway; this includes the piercings of the fire user that are escaping in quick succession until barely more than the head remains.

The eyes of a predator meet a ghastly, pristine sea again. “Your blood is so sweet,” Hawks says with a smile that is way too sharp to be taken lightly. “I could eat you right up,” he clicks away then, impaling himself on the game ready villain with a lewd smack. Just in time for Twice to pull out and ram the monster of a dick he sports back inside, making that pierced wonder escape once more- almost out, but never entirely. The push and pull of bodies, working in wonderful tandem.

“With a look like that in your eyes… I’m certain you would,” grunts Dabi, slamming him down by the thighs himself this time around; it pulls Hawks’ feral grin even wider. “You look as fucking gone as the little freak does when high on blood.”

His initial answer is a trill of a giggle that is stopped by a throaty little moan when Twice hits a sweet spot, bumping him forward into the pyro’s face. "Then you better make sure I can’t move an inch afterwards,” he breathes in an airy voice, then plants a butterfly kiss on Dabi's lips. Not having anything to say, the fire user slams him back down which is much appreciated. Yes, all Hawks wants is this. His brains to be thoroughly fucked out of him. Wants to be bred into an incoherent, twitching mess filled with bodily fluids. Suppose the fact that he is even thinking of such things is proof of them doing a damn good job already. Maybe this round will draw out an even higher note of him as he screams out in orgasm.

The world is already becoming little more than static background noise and he’s beyond excited to find out.

[sunshinechii-scenarios]

Spin the bottle

✿ NCT’s Mark x Female!Reader ✿ College AU ✿ Fluff, making out ohoho, maybe slow burn? ✿ 4.7k words ✿ Not requested ✿ Written by Chii ✿ Masterlist! 

TW: Drinking, DONT UNDERAGE DRINK AND DRINK RESPONSIBLY NERDSSSS IS2G IM UR ONLINE MOTHER I WILL GIVE U AN EARFUL-

This is kinda my goodbye to Mark from Dream. He was the best Dream leader we could have asked for and a cherished member of OT7 //imsoemo - Chii

✿ Description: Mark Lee, one of the most sought after boys in your school. People saw him as this mega hot, overly cute, super smart person. You saw him as that little kid who cried when you accidentally spilled his milk in the 3rd grade. All throughout elementary school and most of middle school, you didn’t see the hype around him. That's because you’re his best friend. It wasn’t until the end of middle school, when you two had to go to different high schools was when you noticed your infatuation with him. When you two reunited in college, he was still the same person except that every week he had a girl in his arm. You let those old feelings fade or so you thought. You two still acted like best friends which meant a lot of playful touches, shared giggled and unspoken feelings. 

✿ Bonus excerpt: “Because I care for you like friends should, maybe a little bit more than I should,” you say the last part at a whisper, under your breath. Half of you hoping he would hear it and half of you hoping he wouldn’t. 

“Friends?” He barely croaks out, the alcohol must have dried out his throat for him to sound so hoarse.

“Yeah, Mark. Friends.” The word felt bitter on your tongues. Both yours and Marks but neither of you know that. 

“Right, friends. Is that all we are? All we’ll ever be?” 

         “Mark, do I have to go in? I can just drive you and pick you up after.” You try to negotiate with Mark. He wants you to go with him to this party, as in, go inside. You aren’t a party person. It’s not your scene.

“Come on!” he gets up off your bed and holds onto your arm, “you’ve never been to a party and all the testing is over. Take this chance to unwind!”

You look at his big eyes and pleading expression before sighing out, “fine.”

A smile is plastered on his face as he gets up and starts to go through your closet, “um, Mark Lee what are you doing?”

He doesn’t respond but continues to look around the hangers for something specific, a dress you bought out of sheer impulse one day. Mark was the enabler for the purchase. His hands came across the familiar fabric and took it out of the closet. Your eyes land on the dress and you gasp, “oh no. Mark I can’t wear that.”

He shrugs, throws the dress on you, takes your phone and slams your door shut, “the dress goes on or I tweet out every meme photo you have of yourself!”

“Mark Lee!” You scream out at him. You try to open the door but his hand was on it and preventing you from turning it. You eventually give up and walk to the dress. You bunched the fabric into your hands and slip it on. Once it was on, you look at yourself in the mirror, feeling more self-conscious than usual. You scurry away from the mirror to knock on the door to let Mark know that you were done.

“You look great,” Mark says almost breathless but you didn’t catch it as you went back to stare at yourself. The sound of springs meant that Mark sat back on your bed and the clack meant that your phone was back on your nightstand.

“Can I wear something over this? Like a cardigan?” You say as you start to walk over to your closet in hope of finding something that could cover up your entire body from the world.

“It ruins the vibe you have going on!” Mark exclaims as he stands up. You see him strip off his denim jacket and drape it over your figure. You sigh and put your arms through the holes before shuffling it on and bringing your hair out of the back.

“This looks much better,” you say into the mirror. The size difference made the jacket land at your lower hip area and it was a men's box cut which diverted away any attention from your waist. You noted the faint smell of Mark which wasn’t anything bad. You could pick up the apple shampoo you had to use at his house whenever you guys had a sleepover back in grade school. So many years and he still used the same one. The thought of how many other girls carried the scent as they walked by you in the halls caused a tinge in your chest.

“You look good!” he happily says as he stares at you while you look at the mirror. He sees the frown on your face grow into small smile on your lips, something he wishes he could keep on you forever. The look of confidence glowed on your skin.

“Should we go?” Mark says. You nod, still unsure but push through with it. Maybe you could find someone to make out with to forget about Mark for one night.

         You park your car outside of the house Mark gave you the directions to. You were careful enough to try to leave space between your vehicle and others but it didn’t look like anyone cared once you stepped out of the car. You pull the skirt of the dress down, Mark catches sight of this.

“You look fine, it’s not that short of a dress and you have my jacket.” He says as he pulls out his phone to call someone.

"Hey, we're here," Mark says into the phone. You hear the other side from your distance from Mark. It was loud and you could hear another voice screaming for you two to wait at the front door. Mark's eyes lit up and laughed as he agreed and hung up.

“It’s cold, aren’t you?” You ask him. He nods his head but you see the bumps on his arms forming.

“Liar, I see the goosebumps.” You took off the jacket and drape it over his shoulders. He complied to putting it back on until he overheard some whispers about your exposed back coming from some random guys on the lawn. He quickly put it back on you.

“I’ll be fine, promise.” You tore your eyes from Mark and to the front door, as you two wait, you felt an unsettling mood.

“Mark, I might stay back.” You announce, you start to turn and walk back to your car but Mark hold onto your hand before you could take one step away from the door. His hand feels warm and comforting against the cold night air.

"Sorry for dragging you here, I know you aren't a fan of parties," Mark apologizes to you with a guilty expression on his face. You melt under his apology.

"It’s okay, I’ll just stick by the walls in the back," you say as you check the time on your phone. 12:05 AM.

Mark was starting his sentence when the door flung open quickly. Someone happily greeted you two as you walked through the door. He and Mark did some handshake before Mark introduced you two.

“This is-,” Johnny cut Mark off by handing him his drink before going to hug you.

"This must be the best friend!" Johnny says as he went in for a hug. He was so tall that you needed to go on your toes to properly hug him.

"Yeah, that's me,” you weakly say.

“I’ll let you guys get acquainted. I’m gonna find the others.” With that and a shove of Johnny’s cup back to him, you could already see Mark walking off to find his other friends. You sigh and look at Johnny.

“Do you think you could lead me to any part of the house that isn’t too crowded? Parties aren’t my thing.” You pull on the hem of your skirt and look at the ground before looking back up at Johnny.

“My parties are great! Do you want a drink, maybe?” Johnny was being very friendly towards you, you know that he just wants you to have a good time but you just weren’t fond of parties in general.

“No, it’s fine.” Johnny nods and guides you to the area that leads to the backyard. You thanked that Johnny was so tall, there was such a crowd as you two walked through the house. Once you two reach the area, you scan it. There was only a few other people, all on their phones or chatting someone up.

“Thanks,” you say to Johnny as you lean against a wall.

“No problem. Find me if you need anything else okay? I don’t know what Mark would do to me if you anything happened to you.” Johnny says as he takes a sip out of his cup.

“Probably not much,” you scoff before pulling out your phone, ready to scroll endlessly until someone would ask who came with Mark and you’d have to drive him home.

Johnny felt a bad taste in his mouth at your words. He held back from edging you to explain yourself, “I’ll be around if you need me.”

        You had scrolled through every social media there was at this point. Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, even Facebook. You were getting bored and getting tempted to ask Johnny if you could knock out in someone’s room upstairs. Your eyes scanned the room, looking for Johnny’s head to be standing out above the rest but you didn’t see him. You let your feet start to guide you to push through the crowd and find a room. Your phone dings, it was a mass text to everyone at the party. ‘All rooms are locked! You’ll have to hook up somewhere else. #Sorrynotsorry’ You scoff and sigh. You find yourself a comfortable chair instead of finding a room. Lucky you, it was one of the sofas that was by the dance floor.

         You see girls grind up on Mark and bat their eyelashes at him. You can't blame them, if you had half the balls they did, you would do the same. You lean on the wall and tore your eyes from him to direct them towards your phone. You continue to endlessly scroll down your Instagram feed. You didn't like parties, didn't like drinking hard liquor. Hated the loud music and inability to see.

"Liquid courage?" You lift your head to see Johnny in front of  you with a red cup in his hand. It was halfway filled with something Yuta whipped up. He wasn't even entirely sure what was in it but he thought you might need something to calm your nerves. You were wall flowering hardcore.

"Sorry Johnny, I don't plan on drinking tonight," you point to Mark on the dance floor, "designated driver."

"You can crash at my place, one drink won't hurt. You look like you need it." Johnny moves the drink in his hand forward towards you. You sigh and take it. You take a sip before gritting your teeth at the burn down your throat. Johnny watched you react and laughs loudly.

He takes a while to calm down but when he did he took one last laugh and looked at you, "you like Mark don't you."

You choke on your drink and hit your chest before looking up at Johnny. He looks back down at you with a small smile, "I haven't known you for long but I can see the jealousy written all over your face."

You sigh and trace your thumb around the rim of the cup before looking out at Mark having fun and laughing. It’s been so long since you've realized your feelings towards him and it's hard to ever mention them, not with all the girls he talks about all the time. He's so sweet and kind. Sometimes he's like a prince charming, saving you from anything and everything. Johnny took another look at you and practically reads your mind.

"You've got it bad, huh?" Johnny takes another sip from his cup. He uses your shoulders as an armrest.

"Yeah, I know to keep my distance. I'm no good for him," you lowly say. You shake Johnny off and shove the cup back into his hands. You feel your mood sour. You want to leave.

"Thanks for the party, it was great. Tell Mark that I'll be in the car," you quickly say to Johnny. He looks at you in shock as you weave through the crowd and out the door. His face shifts with worry as he downs both drinks and walks up to Mark who was in the middle of the dance floor.

        "Alright, alright ladies back off Mark," Johnny says as all the girls around Mark whine before going off to find someone else to dance with. Johnny watched as the girls made their way to Lucas, Sicheng and Taeyong.

"What's up with that?" Mark asks as he stares back at the girls he was dancing with.

"You know you've got a perfectly good girl waiting for you," Mark's face shifts with Johnny's words. Everyone in their friend group knew well of his crush on you. It's almost painful to Johnny as he's stuck in the middle. He just found out that you two share the same feelings for each other and has no way to telling anyone in the group.

"She's not interested in me, told me I wasn't her type," Mark paused and looked at Johnny, "keep her company for me," Mark left Johnny in the middle of the dance floor as he went to get another drink. Johnny flings his arms up in defeat before rushing out the front door. Johnny needed to think of something quick. He quickly texted Lucas to ask for a party game. Once he responded, Johnny ran up the stairs and looked over at the crowd.

         "Let's play a game!" Johnny suddenly shouts from the top of the staircase. He walks down as people follow him onto the patio in the backyard of the house. People start to follow him. He walks up to you and slings an arm around you, forcing you to walk with him and the crowd. You look back and saw Mark with Yuta. Your eyes met, he smiles but you didn’t and instead look away. You look at Johnny, unsure but want to go along with it. He keeps you at his side as he grabs an empty bottle off the patio table and tells everyone to sit in a circle. You instantly know what was going on, you wanted to bolt out the door but Johnny held you down.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine." His voice was hushed, lowered in attempts to calm you down. It did until he decided to open his mouth again.

"Spin the bottle, kiss the person it lands on or take a shot. Simple enough." You yank at Johnny's arm, looking up at him with pleading eyes. Mark was right, it was hard to say no to you. Johnny remembers one time when Mark let you win in Dance Dance Revolution because you used your pretty eyes to your advantage but he isn't Mark.

"Let's start with you!" He pats your back harshly. It was enough to send you forward and on all fours in front of the bottle. Thank god Mark wasn't in front of you and was luckily about six people to your right. You take a deep breath as you flick your wrist to spin the bottle. It spun and spun until it stopped. Multiple oh's came from the circle. The mouth of the bottle found itself face to face with a girl that you've had class with once. You didn't have anything against kissing girls but you didn't feel right, you didn't know her as well and she looked uncomfortable.

You look back at Johnny and spoke, "I'll take the shot."

Johnny's eyes widen and so did Mark's. One of the girls next to you pours a shot for you and hands it to you.

You look at it nervously before taking it, "bottoms up."

You tilt your head back and down it. The drink stung but people started to cheer and you felt on top of the world.

"Your turn," you motion towards the girl and sit back next to Johnny.

"Impressive," he lowly says. You roll your eyes and nudge him. You look up at the wrong time and find Mark staring at you in shock. His mouth started moving but no sound came out of it. Something along the lines of when did you drink hard stuff? You shrug and bought your attention back to the bottle.

         The bottle spun and spun, some people kissed and some took the shot. It didn't land on you more than a few times. You opted for the shot every time. Mark did the same. His eyes followed the bottle in hopes it would land on you but it never did. He took the shot every time. Mark was now leaning on Yuta next to him, obviously not okay. It was Johnny's turn. He had just been kissed by Taeil rather passionately and wanted someone to erase that feeling or something to forget it.

         You weren't paying attention when Johnny elbows your side. Before you know it, his hand is cupping your cheek and he pecks you quickly on the lips. Your cover your mouth in shock and look at him. He grins and eyes Mark in his peripheral view. Johnny lean into your ear and whisper for you to go. You slowly take the bottle into your hands until someone shouts loudly. Turns out that Mark took the bottle of tequila from someone's hands and chugged half of what was left of it.

"Let's go," he says as he looks at you. Johnny nods and tsks at him while waving his finger.

"No driving for either of you," Johnny says as he gets up. He walks over to Mark and picks him up.

"Keep playing guys. I'll be back," he looks at you, "come on."

You get up and stumble a little bit but catch yourself. You step out of the circle and follow Johnny up the stairs. Halfway up, you look back downstairs. They kept playing and drinking as you three left.

"Catch," Johnny suddenly slings Mark around your shoulders and gives you a key.

"You two can sober up in my room. It's the one with the knob on the left side of the door, just don't fuck in my bed." You hit Johnny's upper arm as hard as you could.

"I keep the rooms locked during parties," he says as he walks back down the stairs and waves to you. He could have at least helped you with Mark. You hold Mark up as best as you can while you unlock the door to his room. You turn the key and the door opens, you use your foot to keep the door from shutting on you while you lead Mark inside.

         You sit Mark down on the bed. The mattress shifts as your knees dig into it. After you sit Mark up against Johnny's headboard, you got on the bed and then you cross your legs. You were about to ask him how he was feeling until he started to say some dumb stuff. You giggle and throw your small side bag on the ground.

“Why did you drink that stuff Mark? You have the worst tolerance.” He didn't respond with any words, just incoherent babbling. His head falls forward and slowly lands on your shoulder. You want to record some of Mark being totally out of it to show him later but you weren’t in the mood to anymore when you see a purple mark on his neck. You let the hand holding your phone move towards your face to start endlessly scrolling until Mark was sober.

         It took him an hour to get up by himself. His head lifted off your shoulders, immediately threw himself at you and hugged you. You were now laying on the bed and it took all your strength to support your weight and Mark’s.

“You’re such a good friend,” his hands tangling themselves in your hair as he buries his head in between your neck and shoulder. You two stay quiet for a while. He starts to let go, he was sobering up finally but you did miss the warmth of his skin when he sat back.

“I’m sorry I made you come to this party with me. I’m sorry you always have to drive me and that you can’t have fun,” he says as he looks at you and frowns. You can hear the genuine guilt in his voice. You couldn’t count on two hands the number of times he’s asked you to go inside with him. You did it to save your own heart if you were being honest but you push it aside and knew that you would worry all night if Mark didn’t have a way get home safe.

“Mark,” you pat his shoulder and his eyebrows furrow even more, the warmth of your hand was all he could focus on, “it’s okay. I just want you to have fun and be safe.”

“Why would you want that for me but not yourself?” You hold your breath at his response, you aren’t sure if it’s the alcohol talking or not.

“Because I care for you like friends should, maybe a little bit more than I should,” you say the last part at a whisper, under your breath. Half of you hoping he would hear it and half of you hoping he wouldn’t.

“Friends?” He barely croaks out, the alcohol must have dried out his throat for him to sound so hoarse,

“Yeah, Mark. Friends.” The word felt bitter on your tongues. Both yours and Marks but neither of you know that.

“Right, friends. Is that all we are? All we’ll ever be?” Mark sounds desperate, he pleads for an answer that would either crush or lift the world on his shoulders. He was a little tipsy, you were a little tipsy. You figure that if you needed to say it, it would be now. All those held in feelings, daydreams of you confessing that you thought would stay daydreams, all had to get out somehow. Now was the chance, not exactly how you imagined it but maybe it was the low buzz and the slight bitterness of alcohol on your lips that pushed you.

“No, Mark. I was us to be so much more than that. Mark. I love you.” You regret saying that as soon as the words left your mouth. Your whole world stops and you freeze.

"I'm sorry?" His voice was low and unsure, a trait you rarely see in Mark. You look at the expression on his face, he’s shocked beyond belief. You couldn't tell if he was about to reject you or accept you. Right now, both of those seem like situations in which you would start crying.  The tears started to blur your vision and you quickly turn your head. You feel him move on the bed and hear his voice call your name.

"No wait, oh my gosh, hold on." You take a deep breath. Not wanting to look at him, you push him away but his hands find your wrists and hold onto them. His neck cranes down to try to meet your eyes that found sudden interest in Johnny’s bed sheets. You look up at him with teary eyes. His heart gets hit with guilt. Looking at him made you cry, hard. The tears stream down your face. Your eyes start to burn and your breathing is shaky.

"Just please be my best friend right now," you say in between weeps and hiccups, "not the guy I just confessed my love to."

Mark takes you back into his arms. He lungs himself forward, his knees digging into Johnny's bed. His arms take you into his comfort as he keeps you close. His face on your shoulder as one of his hands holds the back of your head. You hesitated to touch him, so you didn’t. He mentally sighs when you didn’t. He pulls away and looks at you.

“I never stopped loving you since elementary school,” he says loudly. You know for sure if someone was outside the door, they would have heard him. Your heart felt like it was being squeezed and you needed to be pinched. Was this happening because he's still under the influence? No. Mark was sober.

“But all the parties, the girls you would introduce me to?” You say while using the sleeves of Mark's jacket to wipe away your tears. The denim felt rough on your skin but Mark's hand didn't. It came up and cupped one side of your face, it was warm and a little bit wet feeling as the tears kept falling.

“Bad rebounds,” he sighs out, you could smell the alcohol from earlier but let it pass.

“You really never stopped?” Mark’s eyes could see your lips shake when you asked that question. He didn’t know what came over him but he used the pad of his thumb to trace over your lips, almost free of lipstick.

“I thought you did, back in middle school. You told me I wasn’t your type,” Mark says as his voice lowers. Mark thought hurt a lot more to say it out loud. He feels your body stiffen up. You quickly move his hands away from your face and look at him dead on. Mark’s breath got caught in his throat. The moonlight from the open window was the only light in the room. It cased a shadow on the left side of your face, your features out for Mark to admire.

"Oh my god,” you start to say. Mark knocks out of his bewitchment.

“You absolute idiot that was in middle school when I knew no better!" You smack his shoulder as you cried even harder. Mark panicked, you were crying the same way you cried back in middle school when you found out you two were going to different schools. Mark comforted you the same way he did back then. He let his forehead touch yours. He looks into your eyes and sends a mental message. You steady your breathing but still hiccuped every now and then.

“You really listened to me in middle school.” You say in between catching your breath. There was laugh at the end of your words. Mark was about to laugh with you until you looked up at him with those eyes that he fell so hard for. The laugh that bubbled at your lips died down and you were looking at Mark, if possible, with more adoration than you ever had before.

The question that formed in your head, came out without you thinking, "do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now?"

Mark didn’t answer as his hand came forward to cup your cheek, the other on your waist, holding you close. He wipes away the last bit of tears from your face before moving loose strands of your hair away from your face.

       The world stopped when you and Mark locked eyes. There was a whole novel behind the meaning of the look in your eyes. He leaned forward, so did you. Your eyes flutter shut as his lips touch yours. You moved your head to mold them with his, the perfect fit. He doesn’t go beyond your lips. You only have imagined this moment before but to be living in it was a dream. You let your hands tangle in his hair as he pulls you into his lap. The kiss gets deeper and deeper. The two of you losing yourselves in each other. So much that you don’t realize Johnny opening the door. He stands at the door frame, watching you two like lost lovers for a second before coughing.

“We weren’t going to-” you start to explain.

“I know, now either come back to the party in each others arms or you can stay in here tonight and rest up,” Johnny paused, “but still don’t fuck.”

The three of you laughed. Mark asked if it was okay to stay in the room, he had a pounding headache that he didn’t realize he had before. You agree and bid Johnny a nice night before he closed the door.

       When the door closed, everyone of your friends were outside waiting for Johnny to give them news. Happily cheering in silence that you two finally said something.

       “I think I have an Advil somewhere in my bag.” You say when Johnny closes the door. You crawl off the bed and look for your bag on the floor. You feel the zipper and start to open it, looking for the small bottle you carried around with you because Mark was prone to headaches. Mark looks at your figure on the ground, looking for the Advil you carried for him. You didn’t see it as anything major but Mark did. He always did.

“I love you.” You smile but wipe it off your face before getting up and throwing the bottle at him.

“It’s just an Advil, Mark.” You say as he takes the necessary dosage and dry swallows it.

“You know what I mean, girlfriend.” You smile back at him before pouncing on him. He lands back on the bed with a low grunt that gets silenced by a quick peck on the lips.

“I know, boyfriend.”

THIS IS MY LONGEST FIC YET YO- THE JAEMIN HARRY POTTER AU WAS ONLY LIKE 3K IM SHAKING THIS IS SO MUCHBFDNSM, I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT! I’LL SEE YALL NEXT TIME UWU - Chii