#it at least would make sense why she would at least question if travis is the spy

[utilitycaster]

@couldhavebeenevelyn replied to your post “Do you think the new book announcement makes it...”:

True, Laudna having a novelization does feel different. With Vex and Vax’s, the audience could easily tell how they felt about their childhood and father from their characterizations. And Lucien’s made sense, since he and Mollymauk were different people and we knew a bit of his motives but not much beyond the basics about his group in Shady Creek Run. With Laudna, however, we got a muddy view in how she views Delilah and how others call her a witch. Does she hate it, revel in it? Not sure

​

Yeah, I think the best way to put it is like this. I actually haven’t read Kith and Kin despite my love of Vex (and enjoyment of Vax) because that’s just not the story of the twins that interests me - Laura and Liam conveyed who they were and why beautifully in the campaign, and so I don’t feel a need to know a specific story of their younger years (or rather - if it had been a comic I would have read that, but I don’t need a couple hundred pages). I loved the Fjord and Yasha origins comics (which are the Nein comics that had significant new information; Jester, Veth, and Caleb’s comics were great but mostly covered what we already knew with a few extra details) but I love them specifically because they slot neatly into the empty space that Travis and Ashley deftly built into their portrayals; reading them is satisfying because you feel like you always knew this about them, even if you didn’t know the specifics.

The Molly comic was a bit of a miss for me, but I think that was a combination of the stylistic choices (I really think it would have benefited from being in the first person) and the fact that he simply wasn’t a character I ever connected to; on the other hand the Lucien novel was great even though Lucien had the worst vibes, because it also fit into the well-signaled but not explicitly laid out space left for it and answered questions I was curious about.

Basically: making a tie-in novel really is a case of threading the needle. I’d consider myself a pretty heavily involved fan! But for me to care enough to read a whole prequel book requires that I be invested in their present story, and that the story covers something in their past that it both made sense not to cover in the campaign, but also appeals to my curiosity about them. For Vex, I feel like Kith and Kin covers what I'm least interested in - I am so much more invested in the woman she was at the start of the campaign (and have enjoyed the VM Origins comics; I am the rare Colville apologist Vex fan) and how she develops and who she is afterwards than her adolescence, which isn't a knock on it, just an acknowledgment it's not for me. But for Laudna...again, why should I care about the history of a character who more often than not feels disconnected from the backstory I already know?

[jennyboom21]

And you replied: "Of course it is." You knew this was a a lie and it landed you in therapy but you want to believe.

This is the fakest moment in American history. Not since the moon landing has anything been so fake.

But you know what?

It's OK. This moment is actually interesting and fun. A certain sort of goofy obsession has seeped in. No, it's not real, but who cares? We all love this phony love affair. We will continue to love it. We will keep loving it until this spectacularly fake relationship dies and Kelce becomes a cautionary lyric on one of Swift's future albums.

For now, however, despite knowing this relationship isn't real, and likely some type of marketing ploy, we're all going to treat this like it's a true love story. The question is why do we like something that we know isn't real? The reasons, I believe, go beyond some of the obvious and superficial ones. It's not just our societal obsession with stars. It goes deeper than that.

Kelce and Swift represent a fleeting moment where we can all be a little nerdy and little obsessed and maybe even laugh at ourselves a little bit. I'm not talking about Swifties or Kansas City fans. Both of those groups are already hardcore and infatuated. This is about the rest of us. The people who don't have time to get obsessed about anything. The people who normally don't care about football, or how many stadiums Swift has sold out, can feel like they're part of something everyone else gets.

There's a more cynical view that says we're infatuated because our own lives are so boring. It's less that and more that our lives are so full. We don't just have our jobs and loved ones but the world seems chaotic and dangerous. There are threats to democracy, financial stress, a rise in white nationalism and extremism, and a general sense that things could go awry at any moment.

It's not simply that Swift and Kelce are a distraction. It's that sometimes we desperately need one.

This story is also about something else. The ability for all of us to laugh at ourselves. It's likely Swift and Kelce are laughing about this, too. So is Kelce's mom, Donna Kelce. Remember that scene in Kansas City when Travis scored a touchdown and Swift wildly celebrated but Donna, well, was just chill? That wasn't because she's seen her son score dozens of touchdowns. It was because she just didn't want to play along. Donna Kelce doesn't play that.

Yes, this is a conspiracy theory, but it's one of the few accurate ones.

I also believe we like the idea of Kelce and Swift as a couple because, at least as far as we know, they both seem like good human beings. We never truly know the people we follow as celebrities and while I don't know much about the singer, I do know the football player. He's known on the team as a diligent and decent person. He's been described to me by a former coach of his as "laid back" away from football.

Swift herself continues to do things away from her day job that have a considerable and positive societal impact. In a recent Instagram post, Swift pushed her 272 million followers to register to vote. The group Vote.org says it recorded more than 35,000 registrations.

"I've been so lucky to see so many of you guys at my U.S. shows recently. I've heard you raise your voices, and I know how powerful they are," she wrote on Instagram. "Make sure you're ready to use them in our elections this year!"

This, along with other things related to Swift and Kelce, caused the heads of right-wingers to explode. One wrote on X, formerly known as Twitter: "Taylor Swift hates America. Taylor Swift hates President Trump. Taylor Swift loves communism. Maybe Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift would be good together.”

Their anger was another reason to love this relationship.

The last time the public had such an infatuation with a couple was Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley. There was a belief that relationship, like this one, wasn't real either. That one felt weird to watch.

This one feels great to watch.

For the people who hate this story, don't worry, you're not alone. "I'm already over it," Chargers running back Austin Ekeler told the Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz. "I'm over the Taylor Swift stuff. Can we move on please?"

No, we cannot. We will not. How dare you even ask?

And for those of you who say you don't care about any of this, well, you've read this far. You obviously do. Just like the rest of us.

Even if it is totally, without question, completely fake.

[docholligay]

Ep 7: Nat

Hello! This is about up to Episode 7 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 7 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the seventh episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

Oh Nat, what the fuck can I say about you that I haven’t said a thousand times before? Actually, i will say that I love that they are really giving Nat a bit of a heel turn here, because I was so prepared to be like, “Ah yes, the disconnected,cynical alternative girl is the only real one. Groundbreaking.” and I think the show has taken pains to show that, no, Nat doesn’t know jack shit, and she is a codependent asshole who seems to care only about Travis and refuses to let herself stop being hung up on that. But no, even her involvement with the blackmail, trying to shoot a man, suggesting that she is going to be able to figure out who did this and save it all, it’s all about Travis, it’s always about Travis, and as long as nat is fixed to that spot, it doesn’t actually matter what she learns because it will never ever be enough. She cannot let herself see other worlds. 

It’s a great and fun development for me when we show Travis about to go with the other girls, out of a sense of chivalry or whatever, and Nat straight up asks him not to go. Now we can debate all day long and off into the night whether or not it would actually be helpful for Travis to go or stay, but none of that has anything to do with Nat’s calculation here. It has everything to do with the fact that she’s selfish, that she wants him, that she is pinning so much to the two of them. She’s like an extreme opposite of Taissa’s lack of emotional engagement with Van. Travis is the only part of her future she can see, and it’s equal parts compelling and pathetic.I suppose I will grudgingly admit that I like where she tries to generically sexy-talk, and Travis rejects it. He wants Nat to be Nat, even when they’re fucking. 

 I wasn’t sure where I wanted to put this, such things that straddle the girls are always difficult to handle, but when Tai talks about how they got home lives, and Nat got nothing, I want to point out that this was always Nat’s choice. I have my own feelings about Tai and Shauna’s marriages and children and why the exist, maybe for another time, but Nat literally just…opted out of all of that in order to bum around with Travis and get drunk and do drugs togerher, and even after he disappeared on her, perhaps sending a bit of a signal, she kept pursuing the same path. Nat is to blame for at least 75% of Nat’s problems. Ma’am you are in your 40s. 

I don’t disagree with Nat, really, when she says they are just as fucked up as she is, but where I do disagree with her is where she says they’re lying to themselves. I don’t think that being able to figure out how to behave in public and keep from setting yourself on fire for at least 20 years is lying. I think it’s choosing to move on despite it all. Nat is very much not doing that. And, don’t mistake me, I think Shauna does a pretty bad job of it, and Taissa certainly has the wolf coming to get her, but I think both of them have TRIED more than Nat, who it feels like very much decided the nightmare she was gong to live in and then made that her reality. But this is part of convincing herself that she’s ‘real’ while the others are not. That she alone has a clear eye. 

Even the momentary realization that Kevyn is nice to her, and that Kevyn is stable, and that maybe, with him, she could have some semblance a normal, together, reasonable life, does less than nothing for her. He is a means to an end: she found our about Travis, she got to use his gun, it wouldn’t matter how much she got away with, with him, she would always try take more because she doesn’t know how to be happy and she doesn’t trust it. She has be outrightly cruel to Kevyn because she has to fucking convince herself that this is somehow still all her idea, that her isolation is a function of desire, and not a function of something irrevocably broken in her, that she has never made a real effort to fix. 

I’m wondering if it was Natalie who came up with the whole pit idea, as Tai suggests they wouldn’t be here without her, and Shauna even directly references being dragged into her “pit” of guilt. Could this be part of why Nat is so fucked up, is she knows she was directly responsible for murder? Does she ever wish it was her?

[somewhereinthepines]

between travis and du'met, who trapped their damsel of choice inside the basement better?

i assume, that by du’met’s damsel you mean charlie, since i’m not interested in him locking up anyone else lol. but uhh, it’s a matter of preferance really.

i loved that ending for the quarry. it’s deeply unsettling, esp with how laura’s voice breaks toward the end. it contains such a raw pitch of despair.

all while travis just casually walks away with that dry, bitter chuckle of his. it was A+. and honestly, there are a lot of disturbing things in the quarry, if you will just look a bit deeper and look past how they show you a lot of those things. not to mention, that i’m glad that travis got to keep the girl inside the basement, it sounds like such travis hackett thing to do lol. esp bc in that ending, he’s kinda fully done with that shit. so done, that this just makes sense for him to do it and have this disturbing reaction.

with du’met on other hand…..

his intentions are just as creepy, but there is a lot of stillness to that whole segment with charlie. unlike, laura he’s being watched (no doubt) and goes around the creepy place, barely knowing what the hell, he’s even doing.

tbh, you can even feel the difference in tone by colors. both have a lot of flashy, ‘scary’ red, but with charlie there are also hints of decaying green. like even here.....it's very different, while similiar.

but if i had to pick, which bit or situation i like better. well, i love the gen implication in both scenes. but with laura, it feels more final. like you just feel, that she won’t escape again. or at least, you’re no longer in control of it, bc this is where you leave her as a player. with charlie, it’s a bit less tense, bc you know, that you can save him. 

and then if we shift to the topic to a more shipping, naturally, du’met trapping charlie would win in my book. i like the concept of laura & travis together, but i don't ship them per say. besides, there is always smth very homoerotic for me, when one middle aged dude does smth like this with the other middle aged dude. for me, it’s more thrilling to think about. like, fictional situations wise. and it's more my cup of tea. i very rarely ship het, or if i do, it's usually in very non-sexualized way, kinda.

so y'know, haha.

and ahhh, it was very fun question. like part of why, i really love supermassive games is bc they present very interesting set-ups/dynamics. sure, they can mess up in the plot aspect or elsewhere, but idk, usually, the characters or visuals are their strong point. they're also doing great with locations, which is important. bc to a degree, a location will always be a character in the horror genre as well. at least, if majority of the actions happens within the same place.

[fandommissingmoments]

New Counsellors (Travis Hackett)

Travis sat in the car, watching as the young couple pulled away, their rear lights beacons in the darkness. He doubted they would actually head to the motel, but he wasn’t willing to arrest them simply to ensure they got somewhere safe for the night. What could he have arrested them for, anyway? It was hardly trespassing and whatever had made them run off the road was long since gone, he couldn’t viably pull them in for questioning about that. All he could hope was that they wouldn’t somehow stumble across the lodge, or Silas.

‘Shit,’ he cursed softly. Maybe he should have arrested them. At least that way they would have been safe, they wouldn’t stumble across the others as they hunted down Silas and find themselves in the middle of a shit-show Travis was still trying to wrap his head around.  

‘T, you there?’

‘I’m here, Bobby,’ he assured his brother through the Walkie Talkie. 

‘We think Silas is by the scrapyard.’

‘OK. I’m just gonna check on Chris.’

He could practically see his brother scrunching his nose up at the comment; see his father rolling his eyes. Chris, and the others, took their precautions in the hopes of keeping out of trouble. Occasionally they ran wild, but never this close to there being people around. A dry run, that’s what Chris had always called the transformations before camp season. Not that Travis really understood why he was still running the camp while there were monsters stalking the woods. 

‘Meet us there,’ his father said simply, before the Walkie Talkie’s background buzz cut out. 

With a sigh, Travis pulled away. He just hoped he hadn’t made a mistake with those kids. 

 ...

Travis saw the car before he realised that something was wrong. Already he knew that tonight was going to be a long one, and his sense of foreboding only increased the closer to the lodge he went. He’d barely stopped before he was out of the car. A low roar assured him that his worst fears were realised. 

He grabbed the syringe he kept in the door pocket, just in case, and ran to the gaping mouth of the storm shelter entrance. The blonde was crouched outside, her yell still echoing around the space. He could only assume that the young man was still down there, that he’d been attacked by Chris. At least he could save one of them, though.  

Travis didn’t hesitate, he pressed the needle into the side of her neck and pressed the plunger. She tried to turn to face him, but he pushed her aside before standing. Now he hesitated. His gun was filled with silver bullets, reserved for killing Silas. There should have been no need to shoot any of his family, but he couldn’t leave the young man down there. He needed to know what had happened. To take stock of the situation just in case.

He shot into the darkness, three times in the hopes that he might just wound Chris rather than making the fatal shot he was so terrified of. And then, slowly, he lowered his gun.

‘Does this look like the god-damned Harbinger Motel to you!?’ he snapped. 

He waited a moment, listening to the soft whimpering that assured him he had injured Chris, and started down the steps. Travis raised his gun again, just in case, as he slowly entered the storm shelter. The boy was at the bottom of the steps; he’d lost consciousness, and given the extent of the bite to his shoulder, Travis wasn’t all that surprised. Had the shots stopped it from being worse, or was Chris not in the mood to kill or maim?

‘Fuck,’ he cursed, not allowing his thoughts to stray too far from the moaning figure of his brother’s transformed state. Chris didn’t move. ‘Sorry.’

Travis cautiously turned his attention towards the young man. He didn’t want to tuck his gun away again, but he didn’t have another choice if he was going to get him out of there. He grabbed him under the arms and hauled him up the steps.

He would have to do something about the young couple. He couldn’t kill them, couldn’t even just leave them somewhere because what would happen if Silas found them? Or Chris if the storm shelter lock was busted? What if the boy turned? No, he’d have to make sure there was no way they could come to harm or harm others. 

In the morning, he could figure out what to do. For now, he just needed to get them to the station. To make sure the car wasn’t there for Chris to see before he could figure out what his next move was. 

‘Fuck,’ Travis cursed again. It was going to be a long night, and it was only really just beginning for him.

[clarabowmp3]

Mildly stalked your blog and I’m curious if you have thoughts on the whole Taylor never really being single thing. As a 25 year old exiting a 5 year relationshio myself I feel like I need 6 business months on my own at the very least

Interesting! That’s so real tho, I’ve never been in a relationship anywhere that long so I can’t say for sure but I imagine it makes a lot of sense to take a breather and focus on yourself.

After the breakup news dropped, I felt like it would have been really easy for her to play into the whole #girlboss thing, loving being single etc, esp with the man as one of her eras tour songs. Maybe she wanted people to stop talking about joe/start gushing over her and her new boyfriend/stop talking about how sad she looks every night, like it could be anything. It could also be that she just went along with Travis shooting his shot, so as of today I’m not sure just how attached she is to having a partner yk. Part of it could also be that she wants to get married soon, since she talks abt marriage on you’re losing me and loml, which is why she’s jumping from relationship to relationship, but obviously this isn’t healthy.

So basically my point is that as a huge celebrity today, there’s so many factors that could motivate her actions and ofc we only know what we can observe, we don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes, so in terms of actual irl events I don’t really know what to say.

Based on her songs tho, yea I think her never being single thing has taken a toll on her personality/sense of self. Almost her entire discography revolves around her relationships, and the issue with that is certain lyrics reveal how she doesn’t seem to have sufficient self esteem (at least in my opinion) to let herself get so badly fucked up by the most mediocre guys. I mean the whole of ttpd?? Over MATTY HEALY???? Even if I was that down bad you could not waterboard all that out of me 😭😭

I think we see this in but daddy I love him especially, like she seems to romanticise this whole narrative of loving someone so hard against all odds. I don’t think it’s healthy to ‘burn your whole life down’ rather than listen to what others have to say. Of course, it makes sense that she couldn’t logically evaluate what others were saying at a time when she was so emotionally vulnerable, but I think that’s all the more reason she needs to have some time to herself, and learn to have a partner that is a part of her life rather than someone who becomes her whole life.

Also, even though this isn’t the actual meaning of the lyric, I think ‘old habits die screaming’ kind of point to how it’s a pretty deeply ingrained habit for her to get so unhealthy invested in her relationships/the idea of being in a relationship that it clouds her judgement. I understand her skepticism to listen to others/“snarkers” after being so badly cancelled in 2016, but I rlly think she needs to have some voice of reason to ground her. Right now, given the kind of questionable decisions she’s made over the past year or so, it feels like she’s surrounded by a lot of yes men which isn’t good for anyone.

Even in the archer, the whole bit about ‘you could stay’ and pointing to the fans thing makes me a little uncomfortable. It’s a song that’s very dear to me cuz of how visceral the anxiety and insecurity is in the song, and it came out at a time when I was soooo very insecure, and I can get the romantic element of having someone who helps you through those kinds of thoughts and feelings, but I don’t like how she rewrote it from being about joe to it being about the fans. It makes me feel like she’s floundering and just needs someone cheering her on, regardless of how close she is to that someone, which again isn’t healthy. This also contributes to parasocial relationships but that’s a whole separate topic.

Also, I don’t want this to come across as me criticising/blaming taylor, especially given the culture of the era she grew up in. I’m so grateful every day that I grew up in a time and place where feminism was picking up, I had those values/ideals instilled in me in a girls’ school during my most formative years as a teen, and because of that I’m so confident/self-assured (except on my bad days) that I’d never let anyone let alone some guy shake my sense of self. Taylor clearly had different life experiences which moulded her into the person she is today, just like how everyone is in some way or form a product of their environment

[idfendyr]

What are you if you listen to Taylor Swift songs but don't like her as a person.

Because I can't be swiftie, don't with what that fandom has become. They literally justify bullying, harassment, stalking and literal death threats as "defending her" and then wonder why people don't like them. You are giving people as reason to hate on you and your artist.

And Taylor not stopping or calling them out even once is also the reason they go running around rampant. Unless it directly involves her, personally, she won't say anything and then they think they have every right to do what they do.

You sent his ex death threats. Stalked him. All because they broke up?? How insane can you get. It baffles me that people switch up so quickly just because they break up, then feel the need to "defend" Or "support" their artist, as if they were a part of the relationship and knew everything that happened.

And I'll be honest, in my opinion, I don't like Taylor as much anymore, one because she doesn't call these unhinged lunatics out because at least Selena Gomez calls her fans out to try to stop them. An effort. Second, the whole Joe Alwyn and Matty Healy situation was so fucked up to me.

IN MY OPINION, WHAT I THINK, emphasis on my opinion because you aren't allowed to have one in swifties eyes, Taylor going to matty healy so fast after they broke up was so weird and sus to me I think she may have been thinking off him or something while she was with Joe. I don't care what anyone else has to say, but the folklore theory of her being james and Joe being Betty and Matty as Augustine makes a whole lot of sense to me.

If that is the case, the fact that she tries to victimise herself is baffling to me. And all the swifties without critical thinking following along is just ugh.

Joe Alwyn didn't deserve all the shit swifties put him through. Taylor can write songs see 2 guys after they broke up but God forbid Joe answer the question the interviewer asked him during and interview. God forbid he answered respectfully. The swifties didn't like that he was talking about it now. You people act as if they both didn't want their relationship private. Like he isn't comfortable with his private and public mixing.

If Joe answered one question back them about him and Taylor, more questions would pop up and he didn't want that. That wouldn't be keeping it private. He didn't want that. Respect his decision about his private life.

And I don't like Travis Kelce.

I don't like him. I don't know why, I don't like the vibe. I don't care if they are happy and supportive. I don't like him.

And all those people shading and comparing Joe and Travis, grow up.

You can't compare a gentleman and a man child.

You can't compare someone who speaks up about Palestine and someone who is living in ignorant bliss with his gf in their own world.

You can't say Taylor and Travis dont know. The whole world knows. Taylor knows what's happening on the internet. If your excuse is that she's doing shows and safety, one can have a million excuses.

And of your excuse is that she's not a politician, grow up, she gets into plenty of politics, not that you need to be a politician for speaking up about Gaza. And everyone around her supporting Palestine doesnt count as Taylor supporting. It doesn't count that she went to one fund raiser sges ago and gave 500 at most for the ticket out of the billions she has. It doesn't count if she's friends with Lana who's a Zionist. There's more I'm sure. But you get the point.

There's other artists on tour who are speaking up.

And the donations to food banks and speaking up about rights? If you care about people's rights and conditions, you care about EVERY persons rights. If you nitpick who you want to help and not then you're doing it for show in my eyes.

And her bf is just unbelievable. I don't even want to talk about that man child.

And frankly I've lost a little respect for Taylor these past months.

My gosh that's a lot but I said what I said.

All the unhinged swifties that want to go off are just going to prove a point, I'm sure.

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E116-119 (Dec. 15, 2020)

Hi! I missed the first three minutes or so and opened the stream to Brian giving an absolutely incoherent ...ad? for some jewel game? Six thousand jewels just for logging in? Some app in the app store and he’s literally been talking about this now for six minutes and I don’t know what he’s talking about. He finally wraps up, Laura brings the show to a close, and we’re all a little worse than we were before.

Ashley tries to get us back on track and Henry bays over her. Brian tries to ask the first question and breaks off into feigned sobs halfway through. This is chaos incarnate.

Tonight’s guests: Laura Bailey & Ashley Johnson.

How’s Yasha feeling right now about Molly? She and Jester both are desperately curious about whether there’s a spark of Molly left in Lucien that can be brought back. It’s not the same as when Yasha was controlled by Obann; this seems more like just the way this is now. They’d settle for even finding the good in him, like they did with Essek. Brian jokes that they can monitor his mental state if Matt’s Irish accent starts to slip a little bit.

Jester is a little wary about scrying on Lucien now since he’s able to see her back.  She’s interested to try again now that Fjord’s given her the necklace.

Ashley has to run and grab a replacement set of headphones from Brian after hers get “crunchy.” It’s pretty cute seeing them run around and smooch on another screen. Brian teases that he doesn’t have any more questions for Jester since Caduceus has been doing all the healing lately. Laura tells us indignantly that she had Heal prepared for Caduceus in that last big fight, but Fjord got to Cad first. Brian explains how this is the same as all the good jokes he always lines up for Talks but never tells. Ashley’s crunchiness continues and we go briefly to a technical difficulties screen while Brian hops up to fix it.

Dani pips in to get this show back on track. Save us, Dani!

Ashley hadn’t thought about the aspect of Lucien controlling his friends’ minds, but finds it really creepy. It’s a cool game dynamic, and it’s a little different because they’re there willingly, but it’s really weird.

Jester thinks that “the tarot cards know all. She wants to buy into it real hard.” If it doesn’t make sense now, it will later. Laura has an Idiot’s Guide to Tarot Reading.

They’re super interested in why Aeor is like it is. Were they more advanced than us? Did they evolve along a different line? Ashley loves sci-fi and is all about this, especially since she wasn’t there for Happy Fun Ball time & hasn’t been able to get caught up on some of the things she missed in between, so she’s using this as an erstwhile replacement. She can already tell there are some things from this campaign that will bother her the way the unopened box did from C1. She and Laura both seethe at the camera about having to leave the spider behind.

Cosplay of the Week! Harland3r on instagram with a gorgeous winged Pike with a shield & mace. It’s an incredible photo and the wings look great.

Travis distracts Laura by dancing like a Trex offscreen. That seems right for this episode.

Jester’s encouragement of Yasha pursuing Beau was important in a lot of ways, not least because Ashley considered herself as uninterested in D&D romance as Travis & was a little unsure of activating a romance among her friends. However, it felt really natural within the game and it was really helpful to have Jester’s in-game encouragement. Yasha’s grown a lot and is in a much more positive place and is ready to find out what’s possible. Laura: “Jester from the get-go has seen Yasha as this wonderful soul from the beginning, and has seen how sad Yasha’s been through everything, and to see the difference that she exhibits when talking about Beau is drastic and wonderful. Jester’s joy in life is helping others find joy.”

Ashley points out it’s also so fun to “yes-and” with Laura because you’re like a little kid being dragged along by the hand - you don’t know where it’s going, but you know it’s going to be fun along the way.

Ashley does have a sense of “thank goodness Marisha isn’t jumping right into this” so she can coax herself into it, but when she tried to figure out the poem she had a lot of drafts that didn’t survive. She intentionally crafted the letter to give Beau an out if she didn’t feel the same way. There’s a lot going on with Lucien right now and there’s constantly a running thought in the back of her head about “maybe Beau is not into this.” Even the last couple episodes with Jester & Fjord have had Ashley finally understand shipping.

Brian brings us to the moment “almost as romantic as the pre-season finale of the Bachelorette.” Jester was “goo” afterwards. Early on in the campaign, Jester was very forward with her flirtations with Fjord & he shut her down. And then he kissed her underwater and immediately went and slept with Avantika, and Jester automatically shut herself down, because she thought she was misunderstanding & would only be hurt by those emotions. She deliberately focused on just being there with her friends, making everyone healthy and happy. These last few episodes where Fjord was flirting back felt like “my teenage heart again, my first kiss, the boy I like actually likes me back!” and she was able to open back up.

Yasha definitely has some instrument plans for those bones. She doesn’t know if she’s going to add to her harp or create a new one.

Ashley and Laura cheer about Travis stepping out his comfort zone. Laura thinks it was really good that he was doing it with her, his real-life wife, to see if he likes that sort of stuff in his D&D campaign. “It was just so sweet. It was just so sweet.” Brian says he’s actually a really romantic dude & Dani is so glad he asked before the kiss. Brian: “It’s going to be so sad when he breaks your heart and goes back to the corpse of Avantika.” Laura: “It’s fine, Jester will be long dead by then anyway.”

Jester does believe the four-year time trade was worth it, but that the city leaves “a mark on your brain,” especially as in-depth as she saw it. “Jester’s always been reticent to talk about her age because she’s aware she’s perceived in a juvenile way by a lot of people, and she’s insecure about that. She grew up by herself without a lot of social interactions and is experienced in a lot of ways now and naive in others; she’s very aware of human emotion around her, but chooses to see it in a certain way.” Losing the time makes her wonder if she needs to grow up & become an adult about certain things now. Laura: “I think actually she’s closer to Fjord’s age now. Actually, I’m not sure about his age. I don’t know how old he is - I’ve never even asked Travis!” Brian: “I think he’s definitely fifteen.” Laura: “Travis, how old is Fjord?” Travis, off-screen: “Sixty-five,” but he’s had the Mask of Many Faces up this whole time. Later, he adds that he’s in his early 30s.

Ashley has really enjoyed digging into Yasha’s more humorous side lately. It’s how she gets comfortable as a player, making it fun and light in a way that this year needs. “It’s also really funny to think that Yasha doesn’t know how Message works.”

Brian congratulates Laura & Ashley both on their game awards nominations. Brian vamps trying to get himself in as the presenter, but incidentally refers to Laura as his sister in the conversation and it’s super cute. “I would like to be the one to give the award to either my fiancee, or my sister!”

Fanart of the Week: @ethanmaldridge with an illustrated page from the Katzenprinz book. It’s just beautiful.

Jester’s polymorph gambit was terrifying, but the stakes got even higher when everyone else got stunned. She does lament choosing a bunny at the start. “Frickin’ Fjord’s armor!”

Yasha loves being polymorphed lately. She thinks it’s kinda funny, especially given her rigid upbringing with such defined roles.

Laura feels like Jester and Vex are weirdly two halves of herself. Brian: “You see the very bargainy, I’m gonna use my wit & smarts to negotiate situations. But at the same time, you’re very open to what people are thinking & feeling and navigating that. What you end up putting out (though it comes across as innocent and naive) is something pure because she truly believes it.” Laura thinks Yasha and Pike are the same way for Ashley, though Ashley feels a little closer to Yasha right now. Sometimes you just feel really exposed. Laura compares how much idealism she put into Jester to her character from Fruits Basket.

Since Yasha didn’t belong to either side in the war, she’s not hugely concerned by the fallout; she more wants to make sure her found family are okay and safe. Jester is the same way, Laura tells us. Jester doesn’t have any greater vision of the Empire & Dynasty interacting; she cares about the people, and it hasn’t been until the vision with the city that she kind of woke up and realized they have to really stop this now. It feels bigger than the Dynasty/Empire. Ashley: “It seems more of a thing for Beau and Caleb to care about.”

Really, up to now Jester was mostly concerned about getting Molly back, but now the stakes seem much higher. “We have to do this. We have to complete this, to beat them, to keep them from doing this.” Yasha is just going with the flow for now. There’s a lot coming at them and they are ready to find out what’s next.

And that’s that for tonight! Brian thanks the crew especially for working incredibly hard on switching everything to home-based streaming. He then gets stuck halfway spinning around in his chair and the last thing we hear is him idly wondering “What’s Fjord taste like?” which seems pretty on brand for tonight’s show. Is it Thursday yet?

[utilitycaster]

I'm curious on how you would rank the CR cast in terms of how well they understand the mechanics of dnd. Because I agree with something you said a while ago, which is that Sam somehow has this rep as being "the mechanics guy", but I feel like that just isn't true honestly. Not that he's terrible, but I think he does tend to like having one "go-to" move like bigbys hand or sneak attack, and seems to be struggling a little now that he has more choice. And perhaps controversially, I think Marisha has come such a long way in terms of mechanics. Like, sure, Keyleth had some bad moments, but Marisha mostly killed it as Beau and she's killing it now as Laudna, yet she gets very little respect for it I feel.

(answering this along with this from earlier today):

So in terms of strongest, Matt. I think DM-ing is the fastest throw-you-into-the-deep-end way to get good at mechanics, and so an experienced DM generally is excellent at mechanics. We can see it from him as a player, as Dariax or in one shots.

In terms of the rest of the cast, it gets a little murky in that I think everyone but Sam and Ashley is very, very strong (and I have my eye on Ashley because she's catching up fast), and the people I perceive as strongest are in part a matter of my personal taste in how to play/their playstyle beyond just mechanics. As a result I explain a lot of things and this is going to get long so I've put it below a cut just to save your dashes.

Unsurprisingly for followers of this blog, I think Travis is among the top players. I remember sitting with my father watching the boys basketball team at my middle school play a match and he pointed at the team's star player, who I should point out had not hit his growth spurt yet and also iirc never broke like, 5'8" as an adult, and said "that kid has incredible court sense" and anyway Travis has court sense. He asks all those questions because he's thinking about the battle map like, well, an athlete. And as someone who in some small part plays casters because my spatial reasoning is adequate at best, this is really impressive to me. Like, there's a reason he's taken the mobile feat twice, and why he's confident in melee, and this is on top of the fact that he managed to build out a utility hexadin with so many short range teleports, swapping out spells thoughtfully and picking highly useful invocations that also tell the character's story, like, part of why I've been so outright derisive towards the people who have insulted his skills is because this guy recognized Vespin Chloras within seconds. This guy is reading the manuals.

Liam is also among the top players. Hilariously, he exclusively has played Core Four in D&D with two exceptions (Vax's multiclasses and the For Legal Reasons This Is Neither HP nor the Breakfast Club one-shot) so he knows what he likes but he is, to be fair, very good at what he likes, and what he likes is utility casting and fighters and that's the most valid. He is perhaps the strongest at the table at integrating mechanics and story, though Travis and Laura are very close, and like Travis he can handle a highly modular build skillfully and thoughtfully as we've seen with both Caleb and Orym.

Liam and Travis were also the two players I said who I think could at least take a reasonable stab at the Empathy Domain, in that they are both the pragmatists of the group. I think Ashley may be one as well, hence why she's one to watch, but: they are able to quickly make peace with tough decisions or a bad turn and see it through, which, with the finicky nature of the Transfer Suffering feature and the highly RP dependent Sympathetic Bond, is crucial. When will one of them play a cleric for more than like, a two-shot. Please.

I think Taliesin is extremely good at mechanics broadly and has a lot of DM-ing experience and so he's counted in the "very, very good" section with Laura and Marisha here mostly because I happen to also be more of a brutal pragmatist and so that gets extra points, and Taliesin is one of the more optimistic playstyle cast members. He also tends towards min-maxing (obviously for Percy; Caduceus is min-maxed for healing and perception) and I respect that but I prefer the broader utility that Liam and Travis tend to pursue - although Ashton is, mechanically, super fun and has a more diverse array of skills/abilities than many barbarians (though a lot of credit goes to Matt here for the subclass) and I'm excited to see more.

I do have to disagree with the idea that Marisha "got much better". I mean, she has improved at D&D as has the rest of the cast but she was one of the strongest players from the start and the narrative that she's vastly improved since C1 instead of being consistently excellent is outright incorrect. I think people do not appreciate that she was usually the only prepared caster on screen, she was the only person with crowd control while also trying to be the healer and the tank simultaneoulsly, or that druids in 5e are significantly different than in Pathfinder. Like, literally, the only example of a bad Keyleth moment that comes to mind was the Wind Walk in the purple worm fight, and not to keep dunking on Sam but if Sam got a rep for being the mechanics genius for two great moves 3+ years ago it seems, uh, mad fucked up that Marisha still has a reputation for not being great as Keyleth for one bad spell 6 years ago. (In fact, to stop dunking on Sam: most criticisms of Sam and Marisha from C1 should probably stop. If suddenly you're down a sorcerer and usually down a cleric? You get a GENEROUS leeway.) I also was more impressed by Beau than by Laudna in terms of story incorporation - like, eyes of the runekeeper is great but why does she have that, and also I personally believe no warlock should ever have higher wisdom than intelligence unless they multiclassed. A sorcerer/warlock should not be in the business of having a positive wisdom score. Which isn't a knock on Laudna in general - some of this is personal taste and some will be resolved as we learn more - but I need to say that your Marisha mechanics opinions seem really off to me.

I think Laura is quite good and I think everyone who insults Jester's healing is an idiot who listened to Laura complaining and forgot to keep in mind that Jester actually did a great job healing while complaining, up until Caduceus "the healing guy" Clay showed up at which point she pivoted. This is called "responding to what else is going on" and I highly recommend it because mechanics in a vacuum are mere thought exercises. I think Laura is mechanically good but she also I think knows what she wants to do, which is to hit big and hit hard - I think she's aware that certain aspects of mechanics (support casting, tanking) aren't her interests, so she's not quite as strong all-around, but she's very good at what she's interested in. She's also showing a lot of utility as Imogen. Sorcerer is a really good fit for her and she's killing it.

[anntoldst0ries]

None shall sleep (Ethan x MC)

Book: Open Heart 3, post Chapter 5 Pairing: Dr Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr Noelle Valentine) Word Count/Rating: ~1.8k, T Summary: In the privacy of the diagnostic's office, Ethan & Noelle reflect on recent changes around them. Category/Warnings: Fluff, None Trope: And there was a bit of Hurt/Comfort

A/N: This chapter reminded me of things that have never been addressed... so this is a story of how things left unsaid all collided in my head. Hope you enjoy.

Also - yes, Ethan Ramsey can sing arias. Is anyone still truly surprised by the fact that this guy can do anything?

There is something mesmerizing about watching the lights of day go out, overpowered by darkness, ablaze with colours - from the depths of blue, through indigo, navy and all the way to pitch-black.

About how, in a sense, it washes away all the bothers and allows you to start anew with the next rise of the almighty sun.

Ethan Ramsey was hoping for this exactly, maybe more than ever, but all the signs showed it wasn’t in the cards for him.

Or at least not today.

He stared into the void, interwoven by occasional human figures passing by through the front lobby. No voices of the day were able to reach him on the 7th floor of his kingdom. Behind the glass wall, he was almost in a different world.

It had been yet another day that brought him more gritted teeth, holding himself back and resigned sighs, than actual satisfaction from helping those who counted on him. All these ‘activities’ were not only annoying but also highly energy-consuming.

Bringing the index and middle fingertips to his pulsating temples, he started to compress and massage them in small circles, trying to soothe the pounding inside his skull. He could hear the blood rushing through the highways of his veins, the sound almost drowning out all external stimuli.

But there were certain sounds his expert ear was trained on, the ones he would’ve recognized even in his sleep.

Like the one reaching his ears right now, the sound of the door handle being pressed.

With his back facing the door, he couldn’t see who was trying to impose on his much-needed solitude. But since the unexpected guest did not precede their ministrations by knocking, the possibilities narrowed down significantly. There were only two people on the premises of Edenbrook who could invade his personal space without a modicum of manners.

“Can I help you?” He modulated his voice to ensure the tone was expressing two things: annoyance and irony in the otherwise polite question.

“I’m sorry.” From all the voices, this one he did not expect to hear now. A melodic tone was joined by a scuffle of retreating steps. “Do you want me to go?”

Ethan curled his lips in a tiny smile. They both knew she wasn’t apologetic and that he wanted anything but her to leave.

“No, it’s just that there are only two people in this hospital that wouldn’t bother knocking and I thought it was one of them paying me a visit.”

“Let me guess… Zaid and Baz?”

“No, but in terms of concept, you were actually close…just another type of evil ‘twins’."

“Oh, you mean his majesty King Bloom & his annoyance Dr Carrick?”

“Even as a joke, it sounds creepy and horrible.”

“Well, count me as a third now. Heads up though, I will only stop knocking after twilight.”

It was clear as crystal Ethan’s already specific sense of humor had less than ever space for amusement.

“I brought you this.” She put a brown paper bag on his desk, which immediately revealed the aroma of something delicious. “I figured you’re probably gonna stay here all night, so I thought I’ll pop over and check on you.”

He didn’t say anything, staring into the darkness. Not because he didn’t want to - he simply didn’t know what. This simple gesture was very touching and filled him with gratitude. But he was lacking the right words.

Then, for the first time since she’s interrupted his train of thought, he turned around to look at her. Tired and with puffy eyes, she’d still put everyone else to shame. Even on the worst of days, the light radiating from her turned heads and made the room brighter.

She extended a hand and when their fingers touched, he felt this weird, tingly feeling that has traveled from his palm, through his arm and neck, and then straight to his core.

Pressing him gently against the edge of the desk, she took his glasses off. Then loosened his tie and nonchalantly disheveled his hair. Ethan wouldn’t let anyone else in the world touch them, let alone put them in a state of such disarray.

With her, all the rules existed only to be broken.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on in this big brain of yours?”

“Smart move, Valentine. You’ve pacified me so that now I will have no choice but to tell you whatever you want to know.”

“You always have a choice, let’s just hope you’re gonna make the right one.”

Ethan nodded, no sound escaping his lips. She knew she’d have to take it upon herself to get any information out of her stubborn converser.

“So, how are you holding up? I want an honest answer."

“I’ve been better.”

“I thought so.”

“It’s just that… Tobias is driving me crazy. His presence really tests my patience… I don’t know if I would’ve stopped myself from punching him had it not been for you.”

“Why thank you, I didn’t know my therapeutic services were that good.”

“They are.” Ethan cleared his throat. “But it’s… not just that.”

Dead silence lingered between them and he knew he had no other choice but to continue.

“The only reason why I haven’t wiped this ridiculous smirk off his face yet is that whenever I look at him, I… I see you in that room with Travis. I’m trying to remind myself that, as much as I hate to admit it, he was crucial to finding the cure on such short notice.”

“Ethan…”

“I already told you” - he interrupted her as if not to stop the words from flowing, afraid they may be trapped forever otherwise - “that there was so much more at stake last time Tobias set foot in Edenbrook.”

She took a deep breath, her eyes going slightly wider.

“The truth is, for me… everything was at stake. I would’ve done anything he’d asked me to, I’d have forgiven him if it meant saving you.”

Elle turned still, all her body movements, her breathing and even her blinking ceased.

It was one of those moments that mean so much but leave you with so little to say.

Using the power of non-verbal communication and their deep affinity, she bestowed on him the most gentle, loving and grateful expression her face could muster after yet another exhausting shift.

Ethan extended his arm and before she realized it, her back was gently pressed to the older doctor’s chest. Having wrapped her slender frame with his broad shoulders, Elle inhaled his familiar aroma. He smelled of comfort and felt like a safe harbor. He nudged her hair with his nose and placed a featherlight kiss on the crook of her neck. She smelled of calmness and felt like coming back home from a long journey.

“So,” - he murmured directly into her ear - “whether you like it or not, I am using you to soften the blow every time I look at Tobias’ face.”

“I think I can live with that.”

“But I can’t guarantee it will always be enough, he is a cocky son of a bitch.”

“Let's make a deal then. I see how much it costs you and I’m not telling you to trust Leland or forgive Tobias, I still believe you should be cautious. Let’s just wait and see where this goes, I think we’ll know sooner rather than later. In the meantime, we should focus on what matters the most, our patients.”

“Where is the deal part?”

“If it turns out you were right, I will hold Tobias and you will punch him. Deal?”

“I believe it should be the other way round. Declan Nash’s face told me your right hook is exquisite, Rookie.”

They both laughed at the memory which seemed so distant now, almost as if it's happened in another lifetime.

But Ethan went quiet again and she felt his body tense up, his arms tightening gently around her. It wasn’t very obvious, but she knew. It still came as a shock how well she actually knew him.

“Ethan? What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Ethan.”

“I’m sorry, I am not the most cheery companion today. You’re probably better off not spending too much time with me before you turn into a cynic.”

“Dr Ramsey, what a pathetic attempt of trying to get rid of me. You’ve never been the most cheerful type and I’ve survived your gloomy companionship, hell, I think it grew on me over time. So I should be ok today, too.”

It looked like silence was very much their third companion today.

“I’m thinking about Francis.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I’m thinking about how hard it would be not to see. So many beautiful things, colors, all turning into nothingness.”

“I take it you mean the opera?”

“That too, but let’s just say I’ve learned to appreciate things that are right in front of my nose… literally and figuratively.”

The butterflies started somersaulting in her stomach.

“I didn’t want to add more to your plate at the time, but I’ve already felt this way… when we diagnosed Caroline and Leland.”

It was funny that, despite his obvious animosity towards Bloom, whenever his wife was in the picture, he spoke about both in an almost affectionate way. His doctor’s instincts were kicking in, because first and foremost he was a doctor who had his patients’ best interest at heart.

“The thought of not being able to touch you…it reminded me of touching you through the layer of hazmat suit. And now with everything Francis has been through, I just can’t be bothered to think about anything else but you. This is my true personal connection to this case.”

It was her turn to be speechless.

Ethan tightened his grip over her once again, this time protectively rather than out of stress. Slow hum started filling the air, the melody soon joined by lyrics, which he sang in fluent Italian; a private concert, performed for her and her only.

Tu pure, oh Principessa

Nella tua fredda stanza

Guardi le stelle

Che tremano d'amore

E di speranza**

She remembered their patient’s face, which seemed calmer once Ethan started singing the aria before the depths of illness contorted it with pain.

Francis' husband's words echoed throughout her head.

Even though the man holding her in his arms didn’t say it, there was no need.

She knew.

He will always be here.

And she will always be here, too.

-----

** Lyrics - aria "Nessun Dorma" (‘None shall sleep’) from the opera "Turandot".

Translation:

Even you, oh Princess,

In your cold room,

Watch the stars,

That tremble with love

And with hope.

Tag 🔖 list: @starrystarrytrouble @genevievemd @sophxwithers @maurine07 @lovingramsey @iemcpbchoices @oldminniemcg @schnitzelbutterfingers @archxxronrookie @jamespotterthefirst @the-pale-goddess @queencarb @fireycookie @qrkowna @coffeeheartaddict @utterlyinevitable @gryffindordaughterofathena @xxsugarplumfluffsxx @wingedhairstylemusicweasel @mrs-ramsey @tsrookie @fayeswiftie @mercury84choices @lisha1valecha @lucy-268 @stateofgracious @danijimenezv @alina-yol-ramsey

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[eelistolvanen]

Bruises that you left behind - Travis Konecny Pt.2

A/N: Well, I finally got around to write part 2. Thank you to everyone that reblogged, commented or like part 1. I hope you like this part and let me know if you want more :) The story definitely isn’t over yet ;)

Words: 4.3k

Warnings: Angst, some swearwords, no proofread (if i missed any let me know)

If you haven’t read Part 1 I strongly advise you to do so, otherwise this isn’t gonna make sense :) 

Italics indicate flashbacks

______________________________________________________

Once you finally calmed down, Nolan got up and made you a cup of hot chocolate. He knew it was your feel-good drink. He’d made you some before when you had bad days.

“Didn’t think you remembered. It’s been a while.” You nose was still running and you were sniffling quietly but the sobbing had stopped.

“You’re my best friend, of course I would remember.” He handed you the cup before sitting down next to you.

“But he’s your best friend too. And I didn’t want you to have to choose between us. After what happened I mean. So I let you go.” You knew it sounded bitter but you couldn’t help it, you needed to tell him.

“He’s not though. Not anymore.” His expression turned sad. “I will never be able to forgive him for what he’s done to you. Done to me. He’s the reason I lost my best friend. Both my best friends actually.”

“But you see him every day. You play together-“ The words died on your lips, you didn’t really know where you were going with this.

“He’s my teammate, yes. But I don’t consider him a friend anymore. And I don’t think many on the team do either. He’s changed, you know. He’s completely shut himself out. He doesn’t hang out with the team anymore. And to be honest I haven’t talked to him outside anything hockey related in months.”

Your heart felt heavy in your chest hearing about Travis.

“I don’t really care, Nolan.”

“No, I know. I just.. I guess what I’m trying to say is… I’m on your side. An for all it’s worth the team is too, y,know. And we all miss you, it’s just not the same without you.” He gave you a sad smile. You knew it was supposed to be comforting but it wasn’t working. Your eyes started to water again.

“Hey, hey, don’t feel guilty, okay? Everyone understood why you left. It’s just that you were a part of everyone’s life here too. And no one really understood why he did what he did. Ha, you should have seen G the day TK stepped foot into the locker room the first day back at camp. We thought he was going to rip him into shreds.”

You let out a shaky chuckle. “I miss the team too you know. They were like family to me. Believe me nothing was harder than leave my friends here behind.”

Silence fell between the two of you. You wanted to bring up that you had kept in contact with Ryanne and Maddie. Even if only sporadically. But you knew that Nolan would feel betrayed at that, with good reason.

You could feel Nolan fiddling with his hands, anxious to bring something up that was lying on the tip of his tongue.

“Just spit it out, Nolan.” You tried to brace yourself for what was about to come but you nothing could really prepare you for this conversation.

“Why did he.. I mean what was the reason, you know. He never told me the real reason…”

You felt your heart stop at his words, you had to take a couple of deep breaths before answering.

“I don’t know, Nolan. He just left me. No reason.”

“But I thought he left you a letter or a note or something?” His words were cautious, unsure if he was even allowed to ask.

“I… I never opened the letter, Nolan. I didn’t want to hear it back then.”

“So where is it now? I mean… maybe you need that closure.” His eyes were soft, searching for yours.

“I burned it. Right after the wedding. I didn’t care about his excuses. He left anyway, all it would do was inflict more pain. So I just burned the letter.”  

“Oh..” He fell silent, obviously not expecting this answer from you. The letter wouldn’t have changed anything. But now you couldn’t shake the thought out of your head.

“Why wasn’t I good enough, Nolan? What did I do wrong?” Suddenly everything felt too much. Tear running down your face again, the sobs were returning and you were having a hard time keeping your breathing steady.

“Why, Nolan? Why did he leave me? Why wasn’t I good enough for him?”

Nolan pulled you into his chest. No matter what he would say, this was going to hurt.

“I don’t know why he did what he did. I was as surprised as everyone else when he told me. I tried to change his mind, I swear. But he just didn’t listen.”

“What happened that day Nolan? Before you came to me?”

He pulled back to look you in the eye, agony evident on his face.

“I can’t do it, Pat.” Nolan turned around, Travis was wearing a pained expression on his face, shoulders slumped down, he looked absolutely defeated.

“What do you mean, Teeks? It’s gonna be fine, everyone gets nervous.” Nolan took a few steps towards Travis and put his hand on his shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. Travis moved away from his touch and turned his head away from Nolan.

“I can’t marry her! I just I can’t do it, Pat. I’m too young, I’m not ready!”

Nolan looked at him like he had grown to heads. Anger started to rise up in him.

“Yes you can. Now is not the time to get cold feet. You’re just nervous Teeks.” His tone was starting to get louder and more frantic.

“I… I can’t. You have to go and tell her. The wedding’s o-.” Before Travis could fully finish the sentence Nolan had grabbed him by the collar of his dress shirt and pressed him against the wall. His jaw was locked shut and his eyes were furiously glaring at him. Nolan took a deep, slow breath before speaking through gritted teeth.

“No! You’re NOT gonna do this to her! Get your act together Travis. You’re going to walk down that aisle and –“ “I CAN’T DO IT, OK?” Travis’ sudden outburst of anger left Nolan frozen. Slowly his grip on Travis loosened. The anger and fury on his face disappeared and was replaced by something else. An emotion Travis rarely had ever seen on Nolan’s face. Complete and utter disappointment. He let go of the fabric in his hands.

“Why?! At least give me a reason why.” His eyes bore into Travis’ soul. He had to face away.

“I can’t do it. It’s not the right thing to do. I’m too young, we’re too young. It was just a stupid hasty decision, this wouldn’t work. Nolan, you know-“

Nolan dismissed him with a quick hand gesture. He shook his head.

“Save yourself the cheap excuses. I know you better than that, you can’t lie to me…”

“It’s not a lie, Nol-“  “Yes, it is and you know it! You realise that this is going to ruin everything, right? God, the real reason better be something good…”

Nolan slowly turned around and started walking out the door. But before he fully shut it close he turned to Travis one last time.

“I’m never going to forgive you for doing this. And you’ll spent the rest of your life regretting this decision, I’ll tell you that!” An with that he was out of the door, slowly making the hardest walk he’ll ever have to do. To tell you that your fiancé has left you on your wedding day.    

 Once Nolan finished you stayed silent. How were you supposed to respond to this? Travis’ reasoning didn’t make any sense to you. After a while Nolan spoke up again.

“I know there has to be an other reason. I just know… I just don’t know what it is.”

You sighed deeply, defeated. “It doesn’t matter Nolan. It wouldn’t change anything.”

“Maybe it would. You don’t know.” His voice was barely above a whisper, unsure if you wanted to hear this. You didn’t answer and he knew you well enough that it was time to drop the subject.

 --------

Hanging out with Nolan more also meant hanging out with his girlfriend. Not that you minded. You liked her. She was nice, had a good sense of humour and didn’t seemed to mind that you and Nolan were so close. And you had to give her credit for that.

She lived close to you and since she and Hannah were neighbours you started to hang out with her more and more. Even if Nolan wasn’t around. Sometimes with Hannah as well, recently also without her. Only the two of you. You weren’t exactly sure how much she knew about your past but she knew enough about it to not bring it up.

Tonight was no different. Work was finished for today, Hannah was in her evening yoga class and Nolan was on a roadtrip.  Not long after dropping your things at your apartment you made your way to Kelsey’s apartment.  

By the time you arrived Kelsey had already started to prepare for dinner. After joining her in the kitchen you started to figure out just how much food she was preparing.

“That’s a lot of food Kels. Are you trying to feed an army, or what?” You jokingly asked, only was your smile swept of your face once you looked at Kelsey. The guilty expression on her face left you frozen.

“Please don’t be mad!” She quickly replied and before you could even question what she meant she had already dropped the surprise on you.

“I invited the girls. It’s the first away game of the season so some of the girls decided to hang out. And I know were really good friends with them, so…”

You stayed silent. You should have know that you couldn’t avoid them forever, especially after starting to hang out with Nolan again. She meant well, you knew that, but you were also incredibly nervous meeting them again. Kelsey took your silence as a bad sign.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to-“

“No, don’t worry. It’s fine. I’m just surprised that is all. And I don’t really know what to expect, so..”

She gave you a soft smile. “They’re happy to see you, if that eases your nerves.”

 And they really were. The girls engulfed you in hugs, telling you over and over again how happy they were to see you. You weren’t really sure if you deserved their kindness, after all were you the one that left. But they didn’t seem to hold you responsible for it and seemed understanding enough. You were also more than thankful that they didn’t really bring any of it up. And as you were sitting on the couch next to Maddie later that evening, you couldn’t help but feel like a missing part of you had returned. After all they used to be like a second family to you.

 -------

A couple of nights later you found yourself sitting between Ryanne and Maddie at Wells Fargo Centre. You initially pitched against going to a game with the girls but after seemingly endless messages from the girls, especially Maddie, Ryanne and Alma, you finally gave in. In return they promised to make sure you wouldn’t have to see him and if you would feel uncomfortable they would bring you home.

But you were actually enjoying the game. You used to love going to games and you realised now that even seeing him from afar couldn’t stop you from having fun with the girls. This was enough distance to tell yourself that he was just some hockey player, that just so happened to play for the home team. And there was enough distraction around to forget that he even really existed. Between catching up with the girls and entertaining Gavin, you barely had enough time to even pay attention to the game.

You were just about to lower yourself back into your seat after the second intermission, as a high pitched scream caught your attention. A couple rows in front of you was a bleach blonde girl screaming Travis’ name as the team made their way back onto the benches. You immediately recognized the type of girl she was. You turned to Maddie.

“Almost forgot about those girls, god I certainly haven’t missed seeing them at games,-”

“Or at bars, or literally anywhere near the team? Yeah, they still exist.” Replied Maddie with a humorless laugh. “Not my kind of crowd, but some seem to like it.”

You internally debated whether to ask her what she meant by that, but ultimately choose against it. The 3rd was about to start anyway. The rest of the game passed in a hurry and before you knew it you were walking towards Kelsey’s car. She offered to drive since the two of you lived close by anyway. And Nolan was one of the slower guys out there, so he would just drive himself to Kelsey’s once he was finished.

“Out of all the placed I imagined I’d run into you, this certainly was the last on my list.” You froze. You thought you left quick enough to make sure not to run into any of the players. Apparently you were wrong. You debated if it was best to just ignore him but decided against it.

“Hey, Kev.” You turned to face him with a shy smile.

“Hi Tiny” he replied with a beaming smile. You wanted to be mad at him for using this nickname, but quickly folded and accepted his hug.

“I can’t believe you were able to avoid me for over 2 years.” Although he was joking you detected a sadness that was laced into his voice. You scoffed.

“I didn’t avoid you, Kev. I-“ You defended.

“No, don’t. You don’t have to apologize Y/N, I get it. We all get it. I know you didn’t actively avoid me. I just wish it hadn’t taken us over a year of you being back in Philly to finally cross paths again.”

He wasn’t even trying to hide sadness this time.

“I know. Me too.” You gave him an encouraging smile.

“Can you do me a favor? Unblock me? So we can finally catch up.” His voice was light and you knew then that he wasn’t mad at you for blocking him. Well, you blocked pretty much everyone.

“I have a new number now. But I’ll text you. Okay?” He laughed silently. “Perfect.” And just as you were turning back towards the car he quietly muttered.

“I knew you blocked me and it wasn’t a broken phone like Ryanne told me.”  You looked over your shoulder back at him, a glint in his eyes.

“I had to, Kev.” You replied more to yourself than him.

“I know.” And with that you made your way towards Kelsey who was already waiting in her car for you.

----------

You were crying of laughter, embarrassingly loud in the middle of your favourite café as Kevin told you one of his many ridiculous offseason stories.

“No, Y/N, I swear this is how it happened.” He deep voice filled with laughter, his hands animatedly held up in the air.  

Once you recovered from your fit you looked up at him again, only to start giggling again as soon as you looked at his facial expression.

“I swear, I’m not kidding.” His voice was sincere, which made the story even more ridiculous.

“I believe you Kev. Ahh, it’s just so crazy.” You wiped the tears from your eyes as you continued “You always know how to make me laugh.”

He nodded and his smile turned wicked. “Are you going to admit now that you missed me? I can handle that you avoided me. But saying that you didn’t miss me hurt. It wounded me.”

You dramatically rolled your eyes at him. “Yeah yeah, I’m sure you nearly died from the pain.”

“I did! Like a dagger into my heart, Y/N.” But he wasn’t able to keep a straight face for long. You expression turned serious again.

“I did miss you Kev. So much. I misses all of you. You, Nolan, the girls, the team. You used to be my second family. I hate that I gave it all up because of him. I just thought everyone would be on his side, after all I only met all of you because of him. I know now that this wasn’t the case. That you’re on his side I mean.”

Kevin stayed silent for a bit, contemplating what he was about to say.

“We might have only met you through him, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t love you just as much. Or even more. You were probably the reason we loved him so much. You have always been the best part of him.” You felt something tug at your heart. It always felt so heavy talking about him, as if talking about some dead person. In a way that was what it felt like. Him leaving felt as final as a loved one dying. There was a part of you that you lost that day, a part that you wouldn’t get back.    

“Do you think if I’d done things differently that..-“ A lump started to form in your throat again. You didn’t want to go down this road, still somehow it always dragged you back into it as soon as he came up.

“Don’t Y/N. Don’t do this to yourself. It was him, not you. There was nothing you could have done.”

You bravely nodded. You were fighting the tears that were threatening to spill.

“Don’t blame yourself, ok? You have to move forward. What’s in the past is in the past. No one can change it now.” He took your hands into his and gave you an encouraging smile.

“Remember what you always told me? Whenever you used to do something that surprised me? That you’re a-“

“A total badass. I’m a total badass and can do anything.” You replied with a smile on your face. “Ah, I almost forgot about that.” You chuckled.

“Don’t forget it! You are too strong to let yourself break over some dumb hockey player.”

The two of you dropped the Travis subject and moved onto better things. You told him about work, your new friends, about home and he told you about Boston, his parents and everything else that he felt was somehow of importance. After a while you felt Kevin starting to get quiet and thoughtful. An indicator that something was on his mind.

“Can I ask you something?” He seemed slightly on edge asking you this. You laughed.

“I was wondering how long it would take you to speak up. What’s on your mind Kev?”

He looked at you for a second, taxing your expression.

“The team Halloween party is next week. And everyone has someone who does a costume with them, so…”

“No, Kev! I’m not coming to the Flyers Halloween party. Absolutely not.” You crossed your arms over your chest. You already let enough people back into your life. Turning up at a teams party was a whole new level. One that you didn’t intend to take.

“Please, Y/N! I can’t go alone. We go as friends, with some amazing costumes. You love Halloween, you can’t say no.” You rolled your eyes as Kevin started pouting at you. Him pouting like a puppy was the last thing you needed, you were basically screwed.

“I’m not part of the team, Kev. And it’s a team’s party.” You tried but deep down you new that Kevin had the better arguments. He was right, you loved Halloween.

“You used to be. And you still are. Everyone wants you to come. I need you to come. I will even let you choose the costumes. And I will be whatever or whoever you want. Please, Y/N.”

He basically had you trapped now. You couldn’t say no to that offer. Unless…

“He’s part of the team. He’s gonna be there and the last thing I want is having to see him.” This was your last resort. Really, it was the only good reason. Kevin let out a sigh of relief.

“He won’t be there, Y/N. I promise. He hasn’t been at a teams party in years. We don’t even bother to invite him anymore. He won’t be there, I promise.”

Game over, Kevin had won. You gave in. Nolan had already mentioned that Travis wasn’t part of any team’s event anymore unless it was officially required.

“Fine. But I get to choose our costumes.” You barely finished the sentence before Kevin swept you up into his arms.

“Whatever you want, princess.”  

--------

This was how you ended up at Claude and Ryanne’s house on Halloween. Kevin surprisingly kept his promise. Dressing up in the most ridiculous outfit. You wore matching 80s aerobics outfits. Only was Kev’s leotard probably two sizes to small and in combination with the pink leggings, the neon green legwarmers, the white sneakers and the yellow sweatbands the wildest thing you’d seen in your life. Your colour scheme was slightly less flamboyant. Still you felt like you’d just escaped out of a 80s sports magazine.

You weren’t the only one who was absolutely baffled by Kevin’s willingness to rock such an outfit. The entire team was hollering and whistling when you arrived and there wasn’t a single person who didn’t ask the two of you to pose in a photo with them during the evening. You couldn’t remember the last time you had so much fun. It must have been years. But from the moment you stepped into the house the team treated you as if you never left. They joked with you, danced with you, drank with you, just like old times. And you were beyond glad that not a single soul was bringing up anything Travis related.

Eventually the evening was drawing towards its close. Midnight not too far away, when Ivan got up to open the door to someone ringing. You weren’t even paying enough attention to realise until Kevin was whispering about somebody probably mistaking the house for an other. You expected Ivan to return quickly but it seemed to drag on and once he finally returned he wasn’t alone.

He looked at you before anyone else and mouthing a quick “I’m sorry” to you before revealing who had knocked on the door.

The moment you saw him you felt sick to your stomach, Kev quickly threw an arm around your shoulder and out of the corner of your eye you could see Claude standing up. Nolan followed shortly after.

“We were about to call it a night, TK. You should go home. And you should really ask first before showing up at a party. Especially if you bring a fan.”

It was only then that you realised that he wasn’t alone. A barely dressed, tall blonde was standing behind him. A felt a stab in your heart. He’d brought someone.

“She’s not a fan, she’s my girl.” His words were slurred, the alcohol he consumed evident in his voice.

You felt like you were about to throw up, so you quickly rose to your feet. Kevin was only seconds behind, already addressing the room. As you started to move towards the door you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d seen the girl before.

“Alright guys, we’re about to head out. It’s getting late.” He took your hand into his, moving across the room. The rest of the team started to move too. The tension in the room was unmistakable. You gripped Kevin’s hand thighter. You nearly made it past Travis without him making a comment. Nearly.

“Well, Hayesy brought a fan. No way that’s his girl. So why can’t I bring my-?”

Nolan cut him off before he could finish, his voice colder than ice.

“Shut up Teeks, you weren’t even invited.”

Your head had started spinning the moment the word fan left Travis’ lips. You knew you looked a bit different in your Halloween costume but this? Did he seriously not recognize you?  

Kevin was gently tugging at your hand, trying to maneuver you out of the house and out of this sticky situation. You knew that he was doing the right thing and was trying to protect you. But instead of allowing him to lead you out of the door, you ripped your hand from his grip. Anger had started to bubble up inside and as soon as you looked at Travis again it boiled over. To say you were angry was an understatement, you were absolutely vicious.

“ You piece of shit! You’re a fucking coward Travis.” You voice was laced with venom, nearly sitting these words into his face. Kevin put his arms around you again, this time without letting you go and pulling you towards the door.

“I can’t believe you switched me out for some puckbunny. You-“ But Kevin had already dragged you out of the door before you could finish your sentence. And before you knew it Kevin had led you to his car.

“Y/N, I swear he wasn’t supposed to show up.“ You knew he meant it, his voice laced with sincerity.

“Who is she? The girl. I know her from somewhere. Who is she?” Kevin looked at you for a moment. When he didn’t reply, your voice rose. “Kev!”  

“I don’t know, okay? Just… just some girl.” But his hesitation made you cautious. “But you’ve seen her before?”

It wasn’t really a question, more of a statement. He looked away when he replied.

“Only a few times.”

But his innuendo was strong enough to know exactly what he meant with that.

And then it dawned on you. She was the girl you saw at the game a few nights back. She was his new girl.

Part 3

[imagines-r-s]

sticking it - j. farabee

chapter 8

a/n: idk why this chapter took so long, but here it is. it’s very domestic and wholesome, so enjoy it. honestly i’m sad we’re so close to the series ending, but there will be more y/n and joel from the sticking it au i promise. and as always, lmk what you all think

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland @lovenhlboys @sortagaysortahigh @hockey-racing-fubol @oopsiedoopsie23 @iwantahockeyhimbo @dreamsndior @itsurgirlgracie @heartshapedkissxs @lwstuff

warnings: more high school musical references, a sprinkle of angst, friends fighting, idk if it counts as an innuendo or suggestive content, but some of that (not a warning, but Adrian content and ‘no thoughts, head empty’ Joel)

sticking it masterlist

wc: 6.1k

  “All I’m saying is that it doesn’t make sense that she’s the only one standing, singing to Troy about scoring a basket. Like what if someone showed up to the game late and didn’t get the memo to twist the signs around and stay seated, you know? And it’s not just Gabriella standing up,” you said, grabbing multiple outfits to choose from for the movie night that you had been invited to. 

“Well, I don’t think that it was really an ‘ok, everybody. One person is going to be staying up, but everybody else stay seated and lift your sign’ sorta thing. I feel like it was just a heat of the moment thing,” Joel replied as he walked out of the bathroom. 

“Yeah, but it still doesn’t make sense. And I’m curious to know if that mid-game duet actually motivated Troy or if he was just annoyed or something.”

“If you sang to me mid-game, I would honestly probably throw a stick at you. Out of love, obviously.” 

“That’s sweet of you, not really, but I’ll take it,” you said, turning towards Joel, “I don’t know what to wear to movie night.”

“It’s not really like you have to try to impress anyone, it’s just movie night,” Joel said, as he scrolled on his phone, “but you look hot in anything, so I’m chilling.”

“You’re definitely just saying that,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Yeah, you’re right. You in the mornings is kinda concerning, not your best look,” he said, pointedly.

“That was not an opportunity for you to say something like that, I will throw a chair at you.” 

“That’s concerning, but well deserved. I’m sure it would be out of the kindness of your heart, so I respect it.”

“You better respect it, Farabee.”

“Oooh, the last name. I’m shaking in my boots,” he said to which you immediately shot a glare his way, “actually, you’re very hot when you’re mad, not gonna lie.”

“Better watch yourself, Beezer, you’re on thin ice,” you said, jokingly.

“Good thing I know how to skate, babe,” he retorted, making his way towards you. 

“You’re annoying,” you huffed as Joel wrapped his arms around you in a bear hug, “Bee, you better stop.” He lightly pecked the top of your head before stepping back, “wait, what was that?”

“What? The hug or me kissing the top of your head?”

“Both?”

“It’s called a display of affection. I know you aren’t familiar since you show your love by threatening to throw chairs at the people you care about, but that’s what that was.” 

“Oh, it was nice,” you said, which caused Joel to chuckle.

“God, I love you,” he paused for a moment, clearly contemplating something, “this is kinda random, but have you ever thought about posting about our relationship? Or is that a no in the gymnastics world?”

“I mean, yeah, I have thought about it. I just haven’t because I didn’t know how you felt, but if you want to post it you can.”

“Why don’t you post it first?”

“Why don’t you? You brought it up?” you questioned. 

“You confuse me so much sometimes and I’m usually confused, so it makes it kinda worse,” he said honestly.

“How about whenever we get back here tonight, we post at the same time?” you offered.

“Sounds okay with me. Come on, we have to go if we want to make it on time,” he said, softly. 

…..

“Hey, it’s Short Stack and Beezer,” Travis said, as he opened his front door.

“I still don’t know why you of all people call me Short Stack, Tiki Bar,” you said to which he simply shrugged before opening the door more to let the two of you in. 

“Ooh, Short Stack, Karly has something for you. I think she went upstairs,” you sent a confused look to Travis, “it’s nothing bad, just go.” You rolled your eyes as you made your way up the steps.

“Karly?” you called as you walked closer to her and Travis’ room.

“I’m in here,” she called. As you walked into her room, you quickly noticed her shuffling through the things in her closet, pulling out a box that had clearly been wrapped in a hurry. 

“What’s that?”

“Just open it, I hope you like it,” she rushed. 

“Um, alright,” you tore off the wrapping paper and opened the box to reveal what looked like a regular denim jacket, “a denim jacket?” you said, earning an eye roll from her. 

“Take it out of the box, Sunshine.” You picked up the corners of the jacket to see that there were multiple patches with the flyers logo and bees on the sleeves, turning it around to see a number 86 and Farabee on the back.

“Karly, wha-”

“Look, I know you and him haven’t announced it officially yet or anything like that, but I figured that you would like it. I even got the bees on there for obvious reasons. I wouldn’t be upset if you didn’t wear it out, but you needed one,” she said, gently.

“I- Wow, I love it, Karly. Thank you,” you said, giving her a quick hug. 

“You should wear it downstairs or at least show him at some point.”

“Oh no, I was just going to keep it in a bag in my closet for a while until he inevitably finds it,” you said, sarcastically.

“No need for the sass, Sunshine. You should try it on though, I want to see what it looks like,” she suggested, her smile only growing as she saw that it looked amazing on you, “oh yes, the bee patches really add to it. Definitely a great choice on my part.”

“Always the humble one. Come on, we have to start the movies eventually.”

“Wait, you’re wearing it downstairs?” she asked, to which you simply nodded as you walked ahead of her down the stairs. 

Travis was the first to notice your arrival downstairs as he talked to Joel, smiling as he saw that you were wearing the jacket that his girlfriend had stressed over for days, “hey, y/n, I’m really liking this new look.”

“Hey man,” Joel started as he had his back turned towards you, quickly turning around after hearing that you arrived downstairs, “watch yours-” He immediately recognized that similar jacket that many of his teammates significant other wore to games, a perfect sign showing off their boyfriend or husband. “Wait, hold up.”

“Yes,” you answered, already knowing what he was going to ask.

“Swag,” he answered simply as he walked closer to you to examine the jacket. “Are those bees? Why are there bees?”

“Hmm, no idea. They’re just randomly there,” you retorted. 

“Beezer, did you get knocked in the head at practice or something? I’m very concerned, dude,” Nicole asked from beside Nolan. 

“Why are there bees? I don’t understand,” he asked, frantically.

“He’s hopeless,” Nolan whispered to Nicole.

“Bee, did you forget your own name?” you asked.

“Bee,” he paused, “ohhhh, that’s me. Those are for me, wait, turn around,” you rolled your eyes as you turned around to see the back of the jacket, “oh, that’s my name.”

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock,” Kevin said, concerned from the whole exchange. 

“He’s just having one of his moments. Be nice, Kev,” you said, holding back a laugh as you turned back towards your boyfriend who looked like there was something wrong, “Bee, you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just- you got my name on a jacket. You usually aren’t this nice, but this is something nice, so I’m just worried something is wrong with you,” he said, genuinely. 

You visibly gaped as the guys around you howled in laughter as Karly spoke up, “technically, I got her the jacket, she’s just wearing it.”

“Ohhh, okay, that makes more sense.”

“Damn, y/n/n, how badly do you treat the poor kid?” Scott asked from the couch.

“Better watch yourself, Scotty,” you said, shooting him a glare. 

“Let’s just get the movie started before Short Stack attacks someone,” Travis added. 

Drawing names to see who would pick the movie, Nicole picked out the movie, Stick It, which had always been one of her favorites. It was expected for people to be getting up during the movie, but when you noticed Nicole missing from seeing her favorite movie, you became worried that something had happened, “psst, did you see where Nicole went?” you whispered over to Joel. 

“No, did you see where Nolan went?” he asked you, which caused you to grow suspicious as you noticed both of them were gone. “Maybe they’re just making out in the kitchen or something?”

“Why would they be making out? They’re just friends.”

“Dude, they’re still friends in the same way you and me are still friends.”

“No, because if something were going on she would tell me and I think it would be obvious.” 

“Look, I know I’m oblivious, but you choose to ignore a lot of obvious details just because.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Fine, if we get up and find them together or doing something romantic? I don’t know, but either way, you have to post that we’re together first, but I choose the caption.”

“Is that a bet?”

“Yes,” to which the two of you shook on it. 

“Hey guys, how many of you think there’s something going on with Nolan and Nicole?” Joel asked the group. 

“Oh, yeah, I’ve noticed for months, they just haven’t done anything about it out of fear of what y/n will think,” Karly said like it was some simple statement. 

“What do you mean that they fear what I would think?” you asked, causing everyone to look at you. 

“Short Stack, you are literally this little spitfire that could attack at any moment, they just don’t want to upset you,” Travis added just as the pair walked back into the living room, “ah, here’s the two lovebirds now.” 

A flash of panic crossed Nicole’s face as Nolan blushed, “no, I just needed help getting drinks and Nolan was right there.”

“Okay, then where are the drinks and why does Nolan have a hickey?” Scott pointed out. 

“I forget them in the kitchen and Nolan burnt himself with a curling iron,” she offered. 

“Karly, did you leave your curling iron in the kitchen again? Silly goose,” Travis said. 

Joel quickly noticed how quiet you were from beside him, “hey, babe. What’s wrong?”

“I’m okay, I’m going to go and get a drink really quick,” you said, softly smiling before heading into the kitchen. Everyone’s eyes followed you as you retreated back to the kitchen, Nicole sighed, the guilt of not telling you finally hitting her. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Nolan offered.

“No, this is definitely between the two of us,” she answered before following you, “y/n/n, look-”

“Nicole, it’s fine,” you said, filling a cup with ice. 

“It’s obviously not, I know you better than that,” she said, gently, waiting for a response from you, “look, this honestly hasn’t gone to anything serious yet because I knew I needed to tell you. I know I shouldn’t have kept it from you and that you would have been fine with it, we just didn’t want anyone to know. No one really knew, Karly just picked up on it because she’s Karly and everyone else figured it out. And I know you knew something was going on, you just didn’t want to accept it.”

“I don’t have an issue with it, I would have rather you just tell me straight up what’s happening, but I had to find out because Joel made a joke and you couldn’t give Nolan a hickey where it wasn’t visible,” you said honestly, filling your cup with water. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to offer, there wasn’t really another reason other than we didn’t know how you would react,” she said, leaning back on the kitchen counter as you stared at the cup in your hand, “y/n/n, please say something. I’ll break it off if-”

“I would never make you break things off with him and you know that. How long has this been going on?” 

“Uh, we’ve liked each other for a while, but didn’t do anything about it until you had to go back on crutches, so maybe a few weeks.”

“Gotcha, gotcha.”

“Are you mad at us? It was my idea, Nolan said we should just tell you, but-”

“Nic, please. I’m not mad, I knew something was up, I was just more focused on other things. Does he make you happy?” you asked, looking back up at her, smiling at the small blush that had rushed up to her face. 

“Yeah, he really does.” 

“Then, I’m chilling. Come on, you already missed half of your favorite movie making out with Nols,” she laughed as the two of you made your way back. 

“You good, y/n/n?” Kevin asked as you sat by Joel again, who wrapped his arms around your shoulder. 

“Maybe you should ask Nicole, just to make sure y/n/n didn’t attack her,” Scott added. 

“Eh, I’ve known her for years, I have a few strategies,” Nicole said, simply. 

“Oh, shut up, Nicky,” you said, jokingly rolling your eyes. 

“I know damn well that you did not just say Nicky,” she said, shocked. 

“Oh, did I?”

“You want to take this outside, babe.”

“Hmm, maybe tomorrow.” 

“I’m concerned, but this is entertaining,” Travis said, to which everyone else agreed.  

“I’ll record it and post it on world-star,” Joel added. 

“Thanks, babe. Oh and Patty Lapone, if you hurt her, I will bust your kneecaps,” you said, faking sweetness.

“Understandably, so,” Nolan said, honestly. 

“Glad we’re on the same page. And Nicky, don’t hurt him either.” 

“Noted,” Nicole said.

“Hey babe, you know you have to post us first now, right?” Joel said, smirk growing on his face, “and I get to choose the caption.”

“You’re letting him choose the caption?” Karly asked, “good luck, Sunshine.”

…..

“So, do you know what picture you’re going to post? I have mine picked out,” Joel asked you as you finished your night routine. 

“I’m still upset that you won that bet, but probably the picture of us that’s my wallpaper,” you said, patting your face dry. 

“What picture?” Joel asked, confused as to what you meant. 

“Oh, Karly took a bunch of pictures the day we were at the lake and the one that’s my wallpaper is the one where you’re about to throw me in the water and I’m laughing at you. Or I might post one of the pictures Nicole took of us where I’m wearing your jersey,” you explained. 

“Ok, one, why haven’t I seen these and two, why didn’t you send me them?” 

“Oh, I don’t know, you never asked.”

“I never knew.” 

“Same thing?” you offered before walking out of the bathroom to sit on your bed as Joel grabbed his bag to start packing for the next day.

“Ok, well get the post ready and I’ll caption it,” Joel said, holding his hand out. 

“Please keep it reasonable, I am an example to tiny humans.”

“Kids?”

“Same thing,” you said, handing your phone over to him, already open to instagram. 

Joel had been thinking about what he would caption this post for the rest of the day after you had talked about going public. Quickly typing up the caption and tagging himself, he posted it, “okay, all done.”

“It didn’t take you that long?”

“Yeah, I know. I kinda figured it out earlier,” he said, shrugging and handing you back your phone. As you saw the notifications for the post, you opened it to see the picture of you two captioned ‘the bee to my honey’. 

“That is so incredibly cheesy and adorable,” you said, smiling at your phone, “Karly already commented upset that you didn’t give her photo credit though, but she said the caption wasn’t terrible.”

“Yeah, I’m so good with words, babe. We’ve established this.”

“You’re truly something. Wait, are you captioning yours ‘the honey to my bee’ because that way it’s just in reverse?”

“Yeah, we’re just that cool,” Joel said, handing you his packing list, “will you go over this with me to make sure I have everything?”

“Superstitious King, ok, um, your garment bag with your suit?” you continued down the list as you heard him respond to everything you said, “Glasses? Glasses? Why do you have glasses on this list?”

“Because I need them to see?” he said, confused by your question. 

“Since when have you worn glasses?”

“A while actually, I just don’t wear them all that often,” he shrugged. 

“Wait, what do they look like on you?” you asked, watching as he contemplated showing you before reaching in his bag and grabbing his glasses case. 

“If you make any jokes, I will never wear them around you again,” he said before putting them on. “Ok, one joke, and that’s all.” He was shocked by how quiet you were, “y/n/n, please just make the joke already while I’m prepared for it.”

“Oh no, I actually don’t have a joke this time. You look really good in glasses.” 

“Oh, a compliment?”

“Ha ha, yeah, I can be nice sometimes. But no, you genuinely look hot in those, you look hot in general, but like, now especially,” you continued rambling. 

“Awe, you’re being nice and I made you nervous,” he cooed. 

“You don’t make me nervous, Farabee,” you said, rolling your eyes. 

“Oh, I don’t? Okay,” he took steps closer to you standing in front of you and placing his arms on either side of you, smirking as he heard your breath hitch, “you sure I don’t make you nervous?”

“Y-you don’t,” you replied, watching his actions closely as he leaned his face closer to yours, placing his hand on your thigh before leaning beside your ear. 

“Okay, then,” he whispered before standing back up to finish packing, a smirk lacing his features. 

“That was rude,” you pouted, to which he simply shrugged. “Yeah, that’s not going to work, babe. Karma is a real thing,” you said, watching as he furrowed his brows.

“What do you mean?” 

“Karma,” you said, before just grabbing a longer shirt of his for pajamas and heading to the bathroom to change. Coming back minutes later to see Joel in bed, leaning against the headboard, already looking your way. 

“y/n,” he said, cautiously, “please say there’s something underneath my shirt.”

“I don’t know, Bee, is there?” you asked, pulling the comforter back on your bed as you laid down for bed. 

“I don’t like this game, it’s not that fun,” he said, moving down to lay his head on your chest, your hand instinctively going to his hair. 

“Karma is karma, pretty boy,” you said, chuckling when you felt him start to trace patterns on your thigh, obviously looking for a way to tell if you had shorts on. “You have to be up in a few hours and Kevin and Nol will barge in here tomorrow morning if you aren’t on time.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going to answer my question?”

“You didn’t ask a question.”

“You’re really annoying sometimes. Are you going to answer my statement?” 

“You still love me though and I won’t answer your statement,” you said, softly, knowing that he was ready to fall asleep. “Goodnight, Bee.”

“Goodnight, babe.”

The alarm for the start of Joel’s day went off way too soon, but he knew he needed to get up. Quickly turning off his alarm to avoid waking you up, he got up to get his shower and get dressed for his day. 

After getting a text from Nolan that they would be at your door in about 5 minutes, he decided to tell you goodbye, “y/n/n, baby, it’s time for me to go.”

“You don’t have to go, tell them you can’t go,” you said, half asleep, barely even realizing what you were saying. 

“As much as I wish I could, it doesn’t work like that, babe.”

“Well have you tried to see if it would work?” he chuckled at your question. 

“I love you and I’ll see you in a few days, alright,” he kissed the top of your head before grabbing his bags and heading out to the living room to wait on Kevin and Nolan. Taking a seat on the couch as he waited, he heard the bedroom door open with footsteps following, “you should go back to sleep.”

“I have to go to PT in a few hours, so might as well be up,” you said, “plus, I kinda want to say bye to Kev and Nols.”

“You have PT at noon, it’s almost 5am. Once we leave, please try to get some sleep.” 

“Awe, Bee, you worried about me?”

“Unfortunately I’m always worried about you and you’re such a chaotic person that it’s reasonable and the concern only ever grows.”

“That’s true, I am kinda chaotic,” you said, causing him to chuckle. 

“Just a tad.”

The sound of the key turning and door opening drew yours and Joel’s attention away from each other for a moment, “sup, bitches,” Kevin’s voice rang out. 

“What the fuck, Kev?” you asked, grabbing a blanket from your couch, wrapping it around you. 

“Rise and shine, y/n/n. Hope you slept well, now we have to leave, so say bye to your boy,” Kevin added, turning back to leave again. 

“Ok, I have to get going, shawty bae. Go get some sleep, text me how PT goes, and tell Adrian I said hi. Bye, babe,” he kissed the top of your head once more before grabbing his bag and heading on his way. 

…..

“So, no lover boy today?” Adrian asked as you stepped into his office. 

“No, not today,” you said, sitting down on the bench, “him and the boys have an away game tonight, so they left this morning and will be back in a few days.” 

“So, I assume things are going well?” he asked, rolling his chair over to you. 

“Yeah, things are going very well. We posted about us being together officially on instagram last night.” 

“Oh, wow. Instagram, that’s crazy,” he said, sarcastically. 

“Hey, shush. It’s a bigger step than you think.”

“Oh, yes. The power couple that you two athletes are, hmm. Forgot about that.”

“Stop, it’s not that crazy. It just kinda is a big step in my opinion.”

“Well, I am happy for you and I’m also proud of you for actually listening to me and staying off your knee.”

“Hey, that rhymed,” you softly interrupted. 

“Ha ha, so funny. Anyways, with how it looks now, I say you’re good to start training again,” he said, taking the time to examine your knee. He could tell that you had actually listened to what he had told you, just like he hoped you had. He was excited to see you back to where you needed to be. 

“Like training training? Or just training?”

“Training training. Just be careful and don’t overwork yourself. I am aware that there isn’t much time before you have the U.S Championships, but don’t rush it. Take your time. Quality over quantity. Okay, Superstar?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” you said, excitedly, jumping off the bench to hug Adrian, “thank you.”

“Hey, I didn’t do anything, this is all you. But if anyone can do this, you can. Just take care of yourself, alright? I don’t want all my work to go to waste,” he said, jokingly. 

“Wow, I see how it is. I see how it is.”

“You know I’m joking, Superstar. Don’t even.”

“Do I, Adrian? Do I know that?”

“Just leave already,” he joked, “you have a lot of work to catch up on. Good luck, y/n/n.”

Knowing that the boys were either at lunch, wrapping up morning skate, or getting settled, you shot Kevin a quick text to call you whenever he had the chance; your phone rang only a few minutes later. “Hey, is everything okay?” Kevin’s concerned voice rang through.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Adrian cleared me to train again.”

“Aye, let’s go. Alright, so you have like, what? Two weeks before you leave for the U.S. Championships?” 

“Yeah, Marcus and Michelle already figured out all my travel arrangements months ago, so no worries there. I’m just worried about the fact that I have about 12 practices, but Marcus will probably worry and have me practice less, so about 10 practices? And what if-” you rambled. 

“No, we’re not doing the ‘what if’ conversations right now. Or anytime soon for that matter. You’ll get it. And if you have to simplify it for now, then that’s how it’ll be, but you stressing out right now is not going to change the number of practices you have or how they go. Only you can be the one to determine how practices go.”

“Since when did you get all wise, Kev?”

“I read this really inspirational fortune cookie earlier, it caused me to have a whole epiphany on life. Same old, same old.”

“Alright, wasn’t expecting that one, but I’m here for it. What are you guys up to?”

“What are we up to? Or what is Beezer up to?” Kevin asked, knowingly. 

“I was honestly just asking in general, but since you brought him up-” the two of you took a little bit of time to catch up. Him filling you in on how morning skate went and how the lineups for the game were looking. He also told you how the team was looking good this morning and that if they played how they needed to, they could easily win. 

You were still on the phone with Kevin by the time you pulled into the gym parking lot, “hey, I have to talk to Marcus about training, but I’ll probably talk to you after the game. Tell Bee I’ll talk to him later too. Bye, Kev.”

“Stay safe, be careful, make wise choices. I’ll talk to you later, y/n/n.”

Walking into the gym this time was different, almost similar to your first time back after everything, but right now you had the ability to train and to work how you needed to. You just needed to get back into your element. 

Knowing that the only practice going on was for the younger kids, you made your way up to Marcus’ office. Knocking gently on the door, you opened it to see him and Michelle sitting near his desk. “So, what’s the verdict?” Marcus asked, expectantly. 

“Well, there’s two weeks until Championships and I need to get this dismount,” you said, watching as the two of their smiles only grew. As the three of you went over everything that Adrian said, the three of you planned out the next two weeks. 

“Alright, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning practices, you can spend the whole practice on beam, drills, and conditioning, but afternoon practices you need to do other events.  Then, Tuesday and Thursdays will be working on other events, and Saturdays is just a markthrough day for routines,” Michelle explained easily, which showed that they had already thought of this beforehand. 

“And we’re going to ease into it again, but this time from doubles. We both know you can easily get back to where you need to and we also believe that with how determined you seem right now, you’ll be fine. If you do okay with doubles, we’ll move onto triples as soon as we can. If anyone can do it, you can,” Marcus said, honestly. 

…..

Checking his phone after the game was over, the smile on Joel’s face quickly grew at all the encouraging texts he had gotten from you. Quickly replying, he looked up to see most of the guys sharing knowing looks, “what?”

“Nothing, we can just easily tell who texted you from the way you looked at your phone,” Nolan pointed out. 

“You don’t really hide it, so it’s kinda obvious,” Carter added. 

“Well yeah, I don’t have a reason to hide it. My girl makes me happy,” Joel said, turning to see Kevin giving him a pointed look, “okay, maybe one reason to hide it.”

“Didn’t she have a PT appointment today? Any updates?” Scott asked, walking towards the younger guys.

“Oh, yeah. She got cleared and starts training again tomorrow,” Joel answered, causing all the team to smile.

Rushing to finish getting ready, so that he could FaceTime you, he grabbed his bag and made his way to an empty hallway to talk to you. The phone rang only a few times before you picked up, “hey, baby. You did really good at your game.”

“Thank you, thank you. I was thinking of you when I scored,” he said, watching behind you to see you walking around the apartment. 

“That was really cheesy.”

“Yeah, I realized that after I said it, but it’s the thought that counts,” he retaliated, causing you to chuckle, “did you get everything figured out with your coaches to start practicing again?” 

“Babe, you just won a game and you’re worried about my PT and training schedule?” 

“Well, I don’t have an explanation, but I get hockey 24/7 for the next few days, so I kinda want to hear about your life and gymnastics,” he said, honestly, which only made you smile. 

“Yeah, we got my training schedule figured out. I start practice again in the morning, but luckily I was able to work it out to where I have a day of just beam work to mostly do the dismount and drills and then the rest of the week is for other events. But I will have to travel for this meet, which I haven’t had to do in a while.”

“Oh, it’s in Texas? Right?” he asked, causing you to hum in agreement, “and how long before you leave?”

“Well, I leave the Wednesday night before, podium training on Thursday, and then, competition Friday and Sunday. And then I’ll be back Monday.”

“Ah, so I get to know how you feel when I’m on the road.”

“Yep, and you’ll know much it sucks,” you said, rolling your eyes. 

You were happy that Joel was happy and playing the sport that he loved, but him being on the road often threw off the routine that the two of you had with each other. Waking up next to each other; either making or getting breakfast; him driving you to practice before going to his; jamming out to music as the two of you prepared for your day; the list goes on. 

“Awe, you just miss me so much. It’s understandable really.”

“Don’t get cocky, Farabee,” you said. 

“It’s okay to admit that you-”

“Bee, I will hang up on you,” you threatened.

“Babe, you would miss me too much,” he said, making you roll your eyes once again. 

“Bye, Beezer,” you said, hitting the end call button. 

He simply smiled at the action, knowing well enough that if he called back you would decline and that you were too stubborn to call him back. Quickly sending you a goodnight text, he made his way back to the locker room, not missing all the chirps the boys had to say in response. 

…..

You spent the Monday and Wednesday of that week working on drills to be able to do the dismount. With the boys still gone until Friday, you spent your practices wisely and used any extra time that you could at the gym. Your routines were getting back to where they needed to be and you couldn’t have been happier. The drills that you were doing to work your dismount were also working out very well. 

“I want you to try a few triple dismounts. Just a triple and by tomorrow I want you to go for the 3.5 twist. The drills you’re doing aren’t really doing anything at this point, you’ve basically mastered them. So, I do believe if you really work towards it, you could get the quad twist by Olympic Trials, you will compete a 3.5 for U.S. Championships, but with the way practices are going I firmly believe the quad is only a few tries away from you,” Marcus told you as you did your beam warm up.

“Marcus, I-”

“You’re doing the dismount,” Michelle added as she passed by. 

“Just go for a triple, that’s all I want to see today. Once you do one, you’ll get back in the groove of things and you’ll be able to do more than one today. You got this, y/n/n, I know you can, you just have to get past the mental block.”

You knew he was right. As you thought about the skill, you knew it was basically a step away from you. If you went for it, with the way the drills are looking, you would have it. And from there, it’s just the 3.5 and then more work towards the quad. You knew you had the skills, you just had to remind your body of that fact. 

Taking a deep breath, you started your beam routine. Hitting all the skills that you had, you made your way back and forth on the beam until you got the the start of your dismount. “C’mon, y/n, you got it. Just breathe,” you heard Marcus as you took another breath before starting the dismount. Going for the roundoff, you started for the twisting part of the dismount, watching and twisting three times, you opened up, shocked when you landed the dismount. 

“Twinkle Toes,” Marcus beamed, “you did it.”

“Huh?” you said, realizing what you did, “wait. I did it.”

“You did the triple. I knew you could. I need you to do a few more, just to create the habit. Land at least five and then switch to bars.” 

“Alright, yeah,” you answered, quickly realizing that you were one step closer to your goal. Doing the next five took a little bit of time, but you were getting used to the landing and the skill itself. After finishing, you moved onto bars. 

“Did I see a triple dismount?” Nicole asked as you walked over to the chalk box.

“Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t,” you said, shrugging. 

“Does that mean you’re trying the 3.5 again soon?”

“Most likely tomorrow. You will be seeing it soon, I promise.”

…..

When Joel noticed that he got home early enough to come surprise you at practice, he jumped at the chance. Quickly dragging Nolan and Kevin with him - considering they were his ride - he asked them to head to the gym. Once they entered, they got settled in the overhead seating area, he quickly found you standing with Marcus near the beam. 

“C’mon, Twinkle Toes, in order to get the dismount back, you have to get on the beam,” he heard Marcus say. 

“Look, trust the process. I’m mentally preparing for it before I go for it.”

“Are you actually going to get on the beam at some point today? Or will you still be mentally preparing by the end of practice?” 

“Shush, it won’t take me that long, I promise,” Marcus sighed. 

“Just get on the beam, that’s all I need.”

“Alright,” you got onto the beam, walking towards the end as you prepared for the dismount. 

“Ok, just keep the same habits, just twist faster and open up a little bit later, you got it,” Marcus reassured you. Taking a deep breath, you prepped for the dismount. “C’mon, Twinkle Toes.”

Joel and the boys watched closely as you went through your habit of mentally visualizing first, watching you go for the round off and start twisting. “Wait, she’s going for the 3.5,” Kevin said. The three of them all held a breath as they watched you go for the dismount, letting out the breath when you landed it. 

You landed it. “Wait, I did it. Marcus, I did it.”

“I told you so, your boys are watching by the way,” Marcus said, causing you to look up to see the boys smiling to which you simply waved, “I need you to do some more of those either today or tomorrow, but you can go see your boy.”

Rushing over to the stairs to go see Joel, he met you at the bottom of the staircase, “hey, honey.”

“Hey, Bee.”

“You did the dismount,” he said, smiling. 

“I did the dismount,” you reiterated, matching his smile as he picked you up and spun you around.

“I’m so proud of you, you have no idea,” he said as his lips met yours. 

[duggardata]

Highlights From Alyssa + John’s YouTube Q&A

Today (April 23, 2021), Alyssa + John did a Q&A on their YouTube Channel.  It’s really long...  Like 30 Minutes.  I watched it all, because I have a servant’s heart and live to serve.  Here are the highlights, in chronological order—

Which Birth Was The Easiest—Allie, Lexi, Zoey, or Maci?

Bafflingly, John takes the lead in answering, saying:  “I’m going to say Allie’s.”  Alyssa laughs and sort of gives him a look and says:  “No.  Zoey’s.”  She says Zoey’s was the “shortest and easiest.”  John then asks about Maci’s, to which Alyssa responds:  “I had an epidural with [Maci], so the end part of [that birth] was the best.”

Will You Continue Having Children Until You Have A Boy?

John and Alyssa both react by saying how often they get asked this, and how tiresome the question is.  John says it is “the dumbest question.”  They agree that, no, they’re absolutely not going to keep ‘trying for a boy.’  John correctly points out that the whole concept would be unfair to their girls, saying:  “How would our girls feel [about that]?  [If we were like:]  Oh, you’re a girl.  We don’t like you as much.  We really wanted a boy.”  He says they definitely don’t feel that way, saying:  “We love our girls. ...  So, the answer is no.  If we got a boy, great.  If not great.”  Alyssa agrees with him.  John then says, “Wouldn’t it be cool to have, like, six girls?”  Alyssa says:  “That would be pretty cool.”

Do You Think Maci is Your Last Baby, or Not Sure?

After saying how often she’s asked this, Alyssa says:  “We’re pretty sure yes, [she’s our last], but we want to wait before we make a permanent or final decision.”  She pauses, then adds:  “We’ll get back to you in two years.”

John has the last word, saying:  “You never know what could happen.”

Describe Each of Your Daughters in 3 Words.

John kicks things off, saying Maci is cute, cuddly, and ‘a grunter.’  He explains that Maci “grunts about everything.  When she’s eating, when she’s sleeping... She’s always grunting.”

Moving on, Alyssa says that Zoey is “playful and loving.”  John agrees.  (“She loves to snuggle.”)  Alyssa then starts talking about Lexi, but John’s like, “you have one word left for Zoey.”  So, Alyssa goes back, and says that Zoey is an ‘entertainer.’  “She entertaining.  She loves to entertain people.”

Alyssa then launches into how ‘entertainer’ also describes Lexi.  She explains: “Lexi loves to make people laugh.”  Alyssa then says:  “Lexi is our wild child,” and actually uses the word “crazy” to describe her.  John jumps in, and says: “But in a good way.  She’s so comical.”

Finally, they get to Allie.  Alyssa says Allie is “very obedient and very diligent.”  John adds that she’s “organized and diligent.”

Do You Breastfeed?

Always the comedian, John says:  “No, I don’t.  I’m a bottle only type of guy.”

Alyssa says:  “Yes, but I’ve had a lot of complications trying to breastfeed, so I’ve never ... been able to for a long period of time.”  (She adds that 3 Months was the longest she has been able to nurse.)  She shares that Maci is already done with nursing, saying:  “With Maci, I got mastitis and it dried me up.  So, yeah.  I’m not breastfeeding [anymore].”

How Did You Decide Which Girls Would Share A Room?

(ICYMI—Allie and Maci are sharing a room in the Websters’ New House.  A lot of Fundie Snarkers are taking this as a red flag that Allie is on the Sister Mom track.  Honestly, Alyssa’s answer only confirms this, which is so sad...)

Alyssa says:  “Lexi and Zoey are really close in age and ... are, like, best pals.”  She adds:  “They just love being together.”  Then, she states:  “And, with Allie being older and a little bit more, like, responsible and mature, she is going to share a room with Maci because it seemed like [Allie] would be the most help with her [Maci] as a baby.”  Then, Alyssa somehow manages to make what she’s saying even worse by revealing that, eventually, she’s planning for Allie and Lexi to share, and Zoey and Maci to share.  (So, it’s really not about Lexi and Zoey being best pals.)  “As they get older, Lexi and Allie will share a room and Zoey and Maci will, but for the time being, I put the oldest with the youngest just because it made a little bit more sense.”  

(Seriously, what the fuck, Alyssa?)

When is Katie Getting Married?  Will Katie Move to NJ?

Alyssa stated that Katie + Travis have picked a date, but didn’t reveal it.  (“We won’t share it until she does.”)  She says that Katie is planning to move to NJ, after the wedding.

Did Y’all Kiss Before Marriage?

This was apparently the most–asked question.  Alyssa says:  “Yes.  We kissed before we got married.  A lot, actually.”  They told their parents about it, so “it wasn’t like some big secret.”

I’ve included a full list of all the questions after the jump, in case anyone wants to watch the video to get a specific answer.  They’re in chronological order.

Most / Least Favorite Part About Being On TV?

Advice for First–Time Moms?

Which Birth Was The Easiest?

Will You Keep Having Kids Until You Have A Boy?

How Do You Juggle Homeschooling w/ 4 Children?

What’s The Best Age Gap Between Kids?

Do You Think Maci is Your Last Baby, or Not Sure? 

Is John A Hands–On Dad?

Describe Each of Your Daughters in 3 Words.

Are You Overwhelmed Having 4 Children Age 6 And Under?

How is Zoey Adjusting to No Longer Being The Baby?

Why Did You Buy A House and Remodel w/ A Newborn?

Will Your Children’s Courtship Rules Be Like Yours Were?

How Long Did It Take to Remodel Your House?

Do You Breastfeed?

Alyssa Used To Have A Mole On Her Cheek.  Where Did It Go?

Do You Have A Nanny?

How Did You Decide Which Girls Would Share A Room?

Do Your Girls Have Friends Despite Being Homeschooled?

Do You Feel Compelled To Have A Big Family Like Your Parents?

Does John Help w/ Nightime Feedings?

Do You Like Country Music?

What Marriage Advice Would You Give A Young Couple?

Tips On Keeping A Clean House w/ Little Kids.

Do You Sleep Train Your Daughters?

How’re You Adjusting from 3 Kids to 4?

When is Katie Getting Married?  Will Katie Move to NJ?

What’s A Common Misconception People Have About You?

What Name Would You Use For A Baby Boy?

How Much Weight Did You Gain w/ Each Pregnancy?

How Tall Are You?  How Much Do You Weigh?

Alyssa, Which Sister Are You Closest With?

What Were Some of Your Biggest Struggles As Newlyweds?

What The Best Gift You’ve Received from Each Other?

If You Could Live Anywhere, Where Would You Live?

Do Y’All Live The Furthest Away from Kelly + Gil’s House?

How Long Do You Plan to Stay in Your New Home?

What Position Does John Play in Softball?

How Much Sleep Do You Get Each Night?

How Are You Going to Furnish Your New House?

Do You Guys Ever Argue?

Before You Met, Did Either of You Court Anyone Else?

What’s The Most Annoying Thing People Assume About You?

Did Either of You Ever Consider Breaking Up Before Marriage?

Which One of You Spends More Money?

What’s Your Dream Vacation?

Why Doesn’t John’s Family Appear on Bringing Up Bates?

Did Y’all Kiss Before Marriage?

[trashforhockeyguys]

Don’t Hold Me -8- Carter Hart

A/N: Hi I did things. So um Warnings in this chapter: Lots of talk about abuse. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, just skipty skip on over this. Or like, scroll all the way to the end, that’s the big part ;) But other than that, enjoy my loves.

You woke up late the next morning. Late enough that it was almost afternoon. Carter’s spare bed was so comfortable that you didn’t want to move. You found yourself wishing that you had this mattress in your dorm room, maybe you’d never complain about that place again.

Until you remembered why you were staying here, and then the dread set in. He was here, in Philly. And Carter….Carter knew enough, but at the same time not enough. He couldn’t understand why you were like this, why you were so afraid. Yet, you got the feeling that he just wanted to protect you either way.

You were surprised to find Carter sitting at the bar in the kitchen when you finally pulled yourself out of bed. He had two large cups of coffee and two seperate breakfast plates in front of him. He smiled when he heard you walking into the room, and patted the seat next to him.

“I got us some food.”

“Oh,” You mumbled, sitting down next to him, “Thanks.”

“How’d you sleep last night?” He asked as you took a sip of your coffee.

“Good actually. The bed is really comfortable.”

“Yeah, that’s what my sister said last time she was here.”

You nodded and took a bite of the biscuit he’d gotten. There was something strange about sitting with him, yet it felt like the most comfortable thing in the world. Like you’d spent many mornings with him.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he suddenly said, “I shouldn’t have asked what I did. It’s none of my business.”

You sighed and put down your coffee, you were going to have to talk about it anyway. At least you were able to get a little coffee and breakfast in your system before you did. When you turned to look at Carter, you couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under his eyes, he looked like he hadn’t slept at all.

“You had every right to ask whatever you wanted,” You told him, “I made it your business the second I showed up last night.”

“I crossed a line.”

“Carter, you asked a simple question. It’s not your fault this situation is anything but simple,” You assured him, “No lines were crossed. I wouldn’t be eating breakfast with you if they had been.”

There was a sense of calm that settled over both of you. You wondered if this was what it would be like to actually be friends with Carter, and spend time with him. Nice little breakfasts in the morning, quiet afternoons. You liked the idea of it, even if you told yourself you couldn’t. He wouldn’t see you the same way after you told him everything. No one ever did.

“I was fifteen you know,” You suddenly said, “Not to be all Taylor Swift, but at fifteen, when someone tells you that they love you, especially when they were someone like that, you can’t help but believe them.”

He looked up, somehow there was understanding that spread across his face.

“He was older than me, you know? And popular, a fantastic hockey player. So when he picked me… anyway, it didn’t last long, the happy phase. Everything changed after a bad game, and I had the bruises to show for it. I was still playing my own sports, so I lied and said I got them from practice or during a game. I lied for years to cover for him. Until I couldn’t cover for him anymore, because he’d done too much.”

“My brother, Ethan, found out because Travis saw it happen, the cops were called and it was so bad they had to take me to the hospital,” Your breath shook, “He kept coming back. I..I had to stop playing sports, and there was so much emotional damage from all of it… from everything he’d done, that I just kind of retreated. That’s when art became a big deal for me.”

“Why here?” His voice was soft, but raw.

“Because Philly is far enough away. I almost died in that town… and i’m not so sure that I wouldn’t have if Travis hadn’t been there that day. They were there for the court hearings, and everything else. He got off easy, they kind of always do, but there was a hefty restraining order. But he’s been a model citizen since, so it’s no longer in place. They didn’t see how we could file a new one.”

“And now he’s here?”

“I saw him last night, at that little diner just off of campus, not far from all of the frat houses,” You confirmed, “I don’t know why I’m so calm right now. You’re the first person I’ve told any amount of this to, aside from my roommate, who just knows the legal bits.”

“How bad was it?”

You took a deep breath and rolled up the sleeves of the sweatshirt he’d given you, so he could actually see the few scars you had on your arms. A few of them were from the accident, but they’d still been caused by him. He’d done all of it.

“They would be covered in bruises, my shoulders too. It was pretty bad.”

“Y/N...I-”

“Don’t say you’re sorry. I’ve had enough of that.”

He was silent for a minute before looking at your coffee mug, “Do you want more coffee?”

You sighed in relief, “Yeah, that would be nice.”

He didn’t say another word. Like whatever you’d just told him rolled off, like rain on a windshield. You weren’t sure what was going on inside his head, but from the outside he seemed okay. You couldn’t exactly understand any of it. Nor could you process the fact that you’d just told him everything...or close to everything. But, you felt comfortable and safe with him. There wasn’t a thing you could do to try to understand it all, but you did. Like you’d known him for years, like he’d already seen the darkest parts of you.

“You can stay here for as long as you need,” He suddenly said, “I don’t mind. It actually gets a bit lonely here on my own. And if you don’t feel like you can go back to campus...well I’d just rather you feel like you’re safe.”

“No..No I can’t do that to you. We’ll figure out what to do. I’ve got to call my brother later on, maybe the lawyers. There’s got to be some order or something that I can lean on.”

“You could water my plants while I’m gone.”

“Carter, you don’t have any plants,” you had to bite back a laugh, “I’ll be okay. I promise. I can handle myself.”

His shoulders slumped a little before he looked back over at you, “It’s just not fair. Despite the fact that you acted like you hated me for months...you’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. It’s not fair.”

Your heart broke… but for a different reason. Yet another thing that you couldn’t even understand thanks to Carter. The way he looked, the way he sounded, you just felt the need to comfort him. So, without even really thinking about it, you got up and walked over to him, before wrapping your arms around him. He tensed for a minute before finally giving in and hugging you back.

You hadn’t exactly imagined that this was something you’d do. Yet, you knew that he needed it. He was trying to process a lot of things, and understand how any number of them could’ve happened. For him, in this moment, you could set aside your fears and do your best.

“I’m okay. I promise. I’m alive...and I’m okay.”

He held you tighter and rested his cheek on the top of your head. And that’s how you stayed. You weren’t sure how long you two were like that. But you stayed in the arms of a man you didn’t want to know, a man you fought against, and yet a man you couldn’t imagine not knowing now.

It was much much later when you finally made your way down the hall towards your dorm room. The soft sound of the footsteps following you made you smile. There wasn’t anyone else in the halls, which made it really easy to sneak him up to your dorm. No one was there to question why he was with you.

“Oh thank fuck!” Your roommate all but yelled when you opened the door, “I got a call from Travis FUCKING Konecny saying the asshole was here in Philly. Next time fucking call and let me know you’re okay! Please!”

“I’m sorry...it’s been a little hectic.”

“Fucking call me next time. Jesus you had me worried half to death,” she hugged you, more for her benefit than yours. But then it seemed that she realized someone else was with you, and backed away very slowly.

“Oh uh. This is Carter,” You said awkwardly, “Carter, this is my roomie.”

“If you fuck with her, I’ll make whatever you face on the ice look like child’s play,” she warned, “Her brother and Travis got nothing on me.”

“I uh. Just wanted to make sure she got home okay. So uh, I’ll see you later?”

You eyed your roommate, hoping she’d get the message. You just wanted a second, just one second where you could just be a girl alone with a boy. Nothing else. No strings, no history, no expectations. Just a girl and a boy saying goodnight.

“I uh, I’m gonna go grab a snack. You want anything? No? Okay cool. Nice meeting you,” She hurried out of the room, much like a tornado.

You couldn’t help but laugh a little bit before turning your attention back to Carter. There were so many emotions that were swirling around. So many things you were afraid to feel, but you knew you couldn’t hold off anything. Whatever you were feeling...it would all come to the surface eventually.

“Thank you,” You said quietly, “For everything. And I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, “No sorry. You’ve had enough of sorry. Just call me if you need anything, okay?”

There was a strange feeling blooming in your chest. You could try to push it down and keep ignoring it, or you could just give in. You could finally let yourself feel it all. For once, just jump and not be afraid of the fall.

For the second time, you wrapped your arms around him. Only this time, it wasn’t to help him. It was because you wanted to. You wanted to feel him, you wanted to be close to him. So much had changed over the last twenty-four hours. And you just wanted to hug him.

“I never hated you.”

You couldn’t see his face, but you somehow knew he was smiling, softly like he did when he was around you. His cheek was against the top of your head again. You didn’t want him to move. You weren’t sure if you ever wanted to move from this spot.

“I know. It’s okay.”

“You’re a really great guy Carter...and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that.”

He hushed you, “Don’t worry about it. You’ve got a lot going on in your life. I should be the least of your worries.”

But then, you did something you didn’t even think you could do. You pulled away from him, just enough to see his face, and then you kissed him. In the middle of your dorm room, with your life close to exploding around you....you kissed him.

[myhockeyworld87]

Bubble Wrapped - Part 1

Word Count: 2,683

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language

Notes: Ok so here is basically our introduction to the Bubble Wrapped story. I have no timeline for this thing or even if it will continue, you guys let me know. As a background, this story will be about life inside Hotel X. In case you don’t know the teams inside Hotel X are the Bruins, Capitals, Flyers, Penguins and Lightning. So here we go, Happy Reading!

You'd been shocked when Hotel X had been picked as one of the hotels for the NHL to stay at when they resumed play in Toronto. Even more so when you were asked if you would take over the management of the place over the next several weeks. "Listen (Y/N) we know we are asking a lot. You'll have to live at the hotel with all the players as the NHL is really trying to keep everyone in this little bubble."

 "I understand. I've already talked to Carly about putting different measures in place when the Maple Leafs came to us before submitting their proposal." Carly was another member of the hotel staff, that served as one of their concierges. She knew the ins and outs of the city and could get tickets or dinner reservations on the drop of a dime. That was all before COVID though. Now, some restaurants were still closed and shows hadn't resumed yet. What once was a bustling city, had come to a dead stop over the last several months, though things were starting to get back to normal; well the new normal that is.

 "So we heard." You hoped the blush that crept up your cheeks couldn't be seen on the zoom call as that had become their new form of communication with you. "You've dealt with the players before, we know you can handle it. Though this time it'll be completely different with five or six teams staying there." Most of the players had always been super nice to the staff, though there were a few that could be demanding at times. You prayed they'd all push their egos aside, at least while in the hotel, though somehow you doubted that. "I think you're familiar with the NHL's protocol on their reopening, but we'll email you everything once we get it. Start putting together the staff that you want. Just some core people that you'll need."

 "I've got the right people in mind, don't worry."

 The call went for a bit longer going over specifics. The only benefit out of the whole thing was that they were giving you the Presidential Suite to stay in. Honestly, it was the least they could do; you thought. Of course, the called ending with them saying, "Don't let us down."

 As soon as it ended you called Carly making sure she was on board. "I'm just saying Car that many hockey players in the hotel; the testosterone is going to be flying around."

 "So what you're telling me is you've already packed an extra-large box of condoms."

 "Carly!" You shouted at your friend. "That's not what I was saying at all."

 "Come on (Y/N), I know you're one of Seguin's regulars when he's in Toronto."

 "I'm one of them because I can keep my mouth shut." It was true that when Tyler was in town during the summer or on a road trip the two of you always hooked up. Sort of a no strings attached relationship, though you did talk from time to time. "Besides he's not even going to be in Toronto. He's in the Edmonton bubble."

 "Oh, I didn't realize." Carly despite being from Canada was not a hockey lover, though she did appreciate the men who played the sport. "Well, maybe you should call him and get the scoop. You know find out who we need to be aware of."

 It wasn't a bad idea, not that you were going to ask him who to sleep with, but maybe it would help get a handle on who was going to be problematic, as there was no way you wanted to let the owners of the hotel down. You had a lot riding on this and after all, you couldn't put bitter rivals in one hotel and not expect some drama. "You're right. I am going to call him."

 "Ooo good, let me know what he says and if we should get more than one box of those condoms."

 You shook your head at your friend before hanging up and dialing Tyler's number. "Hey beautiful, long time no talk," Tyler said and you could almost hear the smile in his voice.

 "Hey Ty, how's quarantine life going?"

 "Ugh, don't get me started. I was not meant to be locked in my house without hockey for this long." Tyler wasn't meant to stay put anywhere too long, including relationships.

 "Well, hockey's almost back so there's that."

 "Yeah, I'm pumped about it, though I wish I was staying in Toronto instead. I know some fun that we could get up to since I have to stay in the bubble." He paused and you could clearly tell he was running different sex scenarios in his head. "I'm assuming your working at the hotel."

 "Yeah, it's kind of why I called. I'm one of the ones trapped in the bubble with you guys."

 Tyler groaned. "So, you called to ask me who you should hook up with? Cause babe, I'm not sure I'm willing to share you like that."

 "Shut up Ty, you know we're not like that. You couldn't stay faithful to one woman if you tried." Part of the reason the two of you got along so good, was the fact that you called him out on his bullshit.

 "I might if I could drag you with me everywhere." You giggled at the insinuation of being taken everywhere just so you could keep him satisfied. "You're definitely gifted with many talents (Y/N)."

 "You're not so bad yourself, but we're getting away from why I called."

 "You mean you didn't call to have phone sex with me," and you could hear his pout.

 "No, I didn't call for that. I was just curious if you had any idea who was going to give me problems while we're in this so-called bubble. I'm trying to be preemptive here."

 "Ok, but if I give you some information you at least have to promise to send me a pic of your tits." You mentally rolled your eyes at him; the boy was a horndog.

 "Fine, now spill some tea."

 "Spill some tea, what is this a gossip blog or something."

 "You're avoiding the question Ty, and I'm putting on a sweatshirt." He groaned.

 "Alright, don't get your panties in a bunch…or maybe do." It never ended with him. "I don't know a lot about some of the younger guys that are newer in the league, but my guess is they're all horny little bastards. Hell, I was when I first got in the league."

 "You still are."

 "Touché." He answered before continuing on. "So, like I probably don't have to mention the rivalries to you, but like Caps and Pens hate each other, the Flyers and Pens hate each other. Doesn't everyone just hate the Pens?"

 "I think you either love them or hate them."

 "That's true," he agreed with your statement. "The Flyers and the Caps hate each other as well and don't get me started with who hates the Bruins. Wow, who really put them all in your hotel?"

 "I'd like to know that as well." It seemed like whoever did, had a warped sense of humor and you were now going to be stuck handling the mess that they'd made. "So, basically what you're saying is that it'll be an all-out brawl at times that I'll have to clean up after."

 "Sorry babe, but I think it could be. On the bright side, we're supposed to stay on our own floors."

 "Like that's going to happen." Maybe you should designate elevators or something because you could just see Alex Ovechkin and Claude Giroux getting in one at the same time and by the time, they got to your lobby they'd both be bloody and beaten. "Anything else I should know?"

 "You seriously want me to go there?"

 "I mean...if you want to." You certainly weren't going to ask but if he offered the information you'd tuck it away for later that's for sure.

 He sighed heavily, "You know I hate this, but like Tom Wilson gets around that's for sure and I've heard that Travis Konecny does as well. If I'm being honest there's maybe been a girl or two that's compared us."

 "Really?"

 "That doesn't mean you have to be one of them, though if you are…you better tell them I'm better."

 "Don't worry Ty, I'll sing your praises. I promise." Obviously, you wouldn't be doing that but it didn't hurt to stroke his ego a bit. "Anyone, to avoid?"

 "Marchy!"

 "Dude, he was like one of your best friends. Why would you say that?"

 "Because I know him. Stay away he's trouble." The fact that you could almost see the look on his face as he was telling you was comical.

 "Fine."

 "Oh and stay away from Carter Hart." The name sounded familiar.

 "The goalie from Philly? Why?"

 "Because you'll corrupt him." You burst out laughing and Ty joined you. "He's too innocent for you."

 "Dually noted, as I do not want to be known as the corruptor of innocents." You searched your mind thinking of anything else you could ask since you had him on the phone. "What about Crosby?"

 "Sid?" and he just couldn't stop laughing; you could even hear him try to catch his breath.

 "Why is that so funny? The man is hot Tyler, whether you want to admit it or not."

 He got serious as he asked, "Who's hotter him or me?"

 Thank god you weren't on FaceTime, so you could answer him without your features giving you away. "You are Ty, of course."

 "I thought so, but like the guy is hockey twenty-four seven. There's no way he's going to be thinking about getting laid."

 "That's disappointing."

 "He's about the only one that I'd give you permission to fuck, only because I know it would be impossible for you to accomplish, even given all your talents." You could hear the mischievous tone in his voice.

 "Hmmm, are you willing to bet on that?"

 "What? Like bet, you'll fuck Crosby in the bubble?"

 "Yeah." Did it really sound like such an unattainable accomplishment?

 "What's the wager?"

 "Winner flies out when this whole COVID shit is done and is the other's sex slave for twenty-four hours."

 "Oh, you are on, baby. I can already see you handcuffed to my bed in some skimpy lingerie." He cackled at the thought and it fueled your resolve to win this bet.

 "Don't be so sure about that."

 "And how am I to know that you actually slept with him?"

 Well, this would be tricky. "Well, it's not like I'm videoing it."

 "No, but that gives me ideas for when I win." Maybe you should be rethinking this gamble.

 "What do you want his underwear?"

 "Nah, you could get that in the laundry. But I'm sure you could sneak a pic of him sleeping." God that sounded creepy but if it meant you had Ty as your slave for a day, it'd be worth it and you'd never show it to anyone else but him and even then you weren't going to send it to him, though he didn't need to know that now.

 "Ok, it's a bet then."

 "Too bad we can't kiss on it."

 "Oh, you'll be doing more than kissing when I win, Seguin." Mentally you started packing sexy outfits to take into the bubble with you while thinking of all the things you'd have Tyler do the next time you saw him. "On that note, I better get my ass to work and make this hotel ready for these guys."

 "Fine, I'll let you go as long as you promise to FaceTime me at some point during this bubble thing."

 "I'm sure I'll have a night open for you at some point." You teased.

 "Woman, you better."

 "No worries Ty, you're still my main man; when you're in town."

 "That's right baby, good luck."

 "Thanks for all the info, Ty. We'll catch up soon and good luck in the playoffs."

 You were just about to hang up when you heard him yell. "Don't forget my titty picture."

 All you could do was shake your head and click end call, though you being a woman of your word, you snapped a quick pic and sent it off to him; to which he responded with a drool face emoji.

 The next couple of weeks were a literal whirlwind as you moved into the hotel's presidential suite and got things ready. Beds were moved out so that some rooms that had two queens now had one king in them. The hotel was disinfected from top to bottom. If felt like you were wearing a hazmat suit all the time during this process. A week before the players arrived the NHL staff did, making sure everything was in order and making sure you had things set up for daily COVID testing. Of course, you had everything well in hand and organized per their instructions, though with a few tweaks that made the process more efficient. Overall, they seemed impressed with everything that you had done.

 All that preparation lead up to the big day, July 26th, when the teams moved in. The league had them spread out so that no two teams were checking in at that same time. Tampa Bay was the first in as they traveled the furthest. "You look nervous. Why are you nervous?" Carly's voice came up from behind you as you saw the bus pulling in through the gates.

 "There's a lot riding on this Car, and if anything goes wrong; you know it's going to be my head that rolls."

 "You're going to do great; this whole thing is going to be smooth like a bubble." She started to giggle. "See what I did there…bubble." You rolled your eyes at your friend but did let out a little snort of laughter at her pun. "Well, here they come."

 You straightened your jacket and smoothed down your skirt, before throwing your mask up to go meet your first arrivals. "Gentlemen, welcome to Hotel X." You tried to speak a little louder than normal hoping the mask didn't muffle your words. "We're excited to have you all here. I'm (Y/N) manager here during your stay, anything you need, feel free to call me any time of day." More of the guys filtered in while you spoke to Coach Cooper and a few of the players.

 "Anytime huh?" you heard someone mumble in the background and a couple of the guys snickered. It was hard not to roll your eyes as you knew they were focusing on them with your face partially covered. Someone else said, "She can manage me anytime." That was until someone cleared their throat, effectively silencing them.

 "Now if you'll follow me, let's get you all checked in." Tables lined with a welcome packet and lanyard with their ID on it, were off to the side and you were able to shuffle them through with pretty good speed, then sent them off to their rooms before they had to head to testing. Your information was inside every packet, in case you were needed at any point during their stay. It seemed like you no sooner got them in and the area disinfected then the next team, the Capitals, were pulling in, and so the day went on until all five teams were safely ensconced in the hotel. Thankfully you made it through that process without any problems, even though the Bruins flight was late and the Flyers were pulling in right as you got the last players through.

 It wasn't until dinner, that you encountered your first dilemma, getting a text message from Alexis, who was coordinating the meals. It was a simple message, Get to conference room 3. NOW! As fast as your heels could take you, you headed down to where the Capitals were supposed to be having dinner if you remembered the schedule correctly. You never expected to see what you did though when you entered.

[mcd-ms-rants]

I wrote the whole post and TUMBLR DECIDED TO DELETE THE WHOLE THING

anyways it’s finally here

take

STUFF I DIDNT LIKE ABOUT MYSTREET SEASON 4:

• ok but the animations here are great. actually tho they're so fluid and clear. Credits to whoever made them!!

• and now let’s do the real thing

• ok so first off this is where the actual plot starts. I know that some people were getting bored of the monotony of the slice of life episodes so they liked it. Again there’s nothing inherently wrong with having it but you have to remember that these characters most likely weren’t written to be in a plot and I say this because their personalities are funny and lighthearted. Their clearly meant for comedy. This also makes them redundant for plot since most of them a few characters barely have any development which is probably why like half the cast was dropped. im not sure how far back jess had planned the plot but needless to say most of the characters wouldn‘t be able to fit there. Travis, Katelyn, KC and the sk’s just dipped for the whole season and even when kc, Travis and Katelyn do show up in s5 their personalities really took a beating

• WHERE DID LAURANCE AND DANTE GO?? We never see them after s3. its probably because their personalities were too funny for plot but laurance was a shadow knight in mcd and since the whole of mys is so hyped up on the whole ‘mcd and mys are connected’ thing by all means he should’ve been there too

• it makes sense that since the lodge is jointly owned by the Ro’meaves and the Lycans, Garroth, Zane and Aaron- and by extension, Aphmau- would come along. it make sense that they would ask Lucinda for help- she’s a skilled witch and has been their friend since high school. theyre literally neighbors. it makes NO SENSE to being Kim- a girl whom they’ve barely ever interacted with and whom they barely know- to a place meant for close family to go to. Ok from a plot perspective yes Kim needed to be there but Aphmau logically doesnt know that yet.

• how does ghost/emmalyn even exist?? We’ve seen emmalyn and kenmur in s1 and they’re ok. not dead or anything. Yes I know that this is mcd emmalyn and she is directly referencing mcd Zane when she says that’s the only name she remembers from when she was alive but that raises two questions- first, how can both mcd and mys versions of her exist at the same time?? and second, what exactly happened between her and mcd zane?? It sounds like she either hates him way more than she loves kenmur (or she’d remember him too) that it’s the only name she remembers or its Stockholm Syndrome.

• I feel that since the plot demanded a ghost vessel thing that was the only reason Aphmau brought Kim. it’s pretty clear that Dante and laurance wouldn’t fit the role because of their personalities so she just remade an older character and changed her completely right down to her skin to fit the plot. her whole personality changes with it- look at her I mean she even becomes more open when she talks. Again this only happened because none of the existing characters could fill that role because IT WASNT MEANT TO HAVE PLOT

• no one likes you michi girl take the hint

• seeing liochant brings back meMoriEs

• what was that potion that lucinda made and which Garroth threw on Zane?? its clear that it cured him from the effects of the forever potion but the bigger question is WHY DONT THEY USE THIS IN S6?? Ok yes in s4 Aphmau gets freed by the power of love(TM) but that doesn’t mean you do that for everyone

• as someone who liked Laurance’s character I miss him :(

• ok there’s WAY TOO MANY PROBLEMS with Ein and his villain shtick. Ein is basically some obsessive werewolf yandere boy who has an unhealthy obsession with aphmau and hates Aaron. and the cherry on top is that Aphmau is his HALF SISTER. THATS INC*ST. That’s GROSS. What is it with Aphmau antagonists and not having a clear motive or backstory?? mcd Zane and Ein both suffer from this and it shows. there were definitely better motives to give him- he doesn’t have to be centered around Aphmau all the time!! And even if you don’t want to go to all the trouble of rewriting the plot you could at least make it so that Ein knows that he and Aphmau are related. Maybe he wants a perfect sister instead and he’s willing to go to any lengths to get her there. it would still be dark and serious but it would be SO MUCH BETTER than the current plotline. Also showing the contrast between his pdh and s4 self and then not giving any semblance of an explanation really makes it difficult to imagine where it all went wrong. yes Michael definitely had something to do with it but to what extent?? How much is Ein actually in control of?? Is he under the influence of a forever potion when he turns Zane, Lucinda and Aphmau to his side?? Is he still under its influence when he fights Aaron?? look I get that they can’t reveal everything but leaving out THIS MUCH and not even revealing it in s6 makes it very difficult to accurately nail Ein’s character.

• how is Aaron even revived?? is that Irene?? how is she here and what is she doing here?? Can we have answers pls. also it makes no sense that she saves Aaron TWICE- once in s4 and second in s6. How does death even work here if Irene can just swoop in and bring them back to life. i feel like none of the villains ever count as threats then because you know that a cryptic mysterious goddess who somehow looks just like your girlfriend will revive you.

• how did Aaron even survive?? No seriously how?? We know that there’s no service or wifi up there at the lodge so using their phones is out of the question. i don’t think Lucinda would be able to conjure up a whole medical team for Aaron. and they're on a MOUNTAIN. It takes precious time to get down from it. for context, even if they sent Garroth (since he’s the fastest) down to get help they’d have to wait for him to reach the village area at the base of the mountain, get a phone, call for help, wait for said help to arrive and get Aaron to a hospital. meanwhile Aaron is bleeding out from multiple gashes on his chest made at like point black range that are critical at best and fatal at worst. (his only saving grace is the snow he’s on which would help to numb the wound because its cold but he has like FIVE deep chest wounds and the snow isn’t even on his wounds.) Ya sorry I don’t see how he manages to survive.

• did I mention that I miss Laurance?? • Why is Aaron not at a hospital I don’t even see a ventilator or oxygen mask near him. Listen I’m not a medical expert but those gashes landed straight on his chest which means straight on his lungs and dangerously close to his heart. how is he alive. how is he not choking on blood right now. we know he’s bleeding out- I’m pretty sure one of the doctors even says “Mrs Lycan, we need to draw more blood for your son.” yes he’s bleeding out why is no one trying to idk stop the wound through pressure with a cloth or something?? (Note: it’s been a while since I’ve watched s4, so if I do get anything wrong thats why!!) also why are the werewolf doctors so chill about Aaron’s ultima eyes? like yes they’re doctors they could’ve been sworn to secrecy or maybe they work for the Lycans but Derek is shown to be really paranoid about anyone finding out about Aaron being the ultima. how does he know they won’t tell it to someone else??

k imma head out now-

thanks for reading!! <3 <3