#it did work

[winonaparadise]

Last night my gf left the discord call for a sec and said "sorry I'll put on cocomelon for you" and then tabbed over to a google image search for "gundam yaoi"

[daily-beau]

Day 50: Perfectly safe corridor

[dickgraysonsptsd]

can you respect me for literally a single day of my life.

[azultecnicolor]

I had to heat beans with fucking candles during the blackout in Spain btw

Girl dinner

[taurtistwo]

Parenting advice from my dad "Sometimes you've got a kid who you don't want harming themself, so you give them a sword." I am said child who my dad gave a sword so thanks dad

[betterbemeta]

@asklordcaptaincastronova

Sir, it's just like a Rogue Trader to flippantly refer to "applying money" as "using magic."

[catinfroghat]

I told my mom that the uniform trousers I'd ordered were waterproof teflon coated so she poured water over my leg

[yiffos-official]

this is assuming you need a cable. in college i worked on triggering an alexa 2 order things using a laser (which emulated the movement of the microphone that would happen with voice) through a window :3

computer security is really funny because it's like. "well. if the wrong pattern of electrons appears on the end of this cable, the machine will spontaneously tell someone my bank account details."

[fluent-in-lesbianism]

I took a 6yo boy to his placement and as soon as I got him situated in the back he saw my SpongeBob driver’s license air freshener hanging on my rearview mirror. He asked if that’s really SpongeBob’s driver’s license and I said yeah it’s real. Then he asked where I got it if SpongeBob’s underwater so I told him I wore a helmet like Sandy and stole it from SpongeBob when he slept, and without missing a beat he goes “That’s identity fraud”

[the-eccentric-eclectic]

Hey kid, look at me.

I want you to T-pose. Turn your right thumb up and your left thumb doen and look at your right thumb. Move your arms up and down a bit until you feel a nerve running from your armpit to your palm. Now turn your right thumb down and your left thumb up, and look at your left thumb. Keep your chest facing forward and your shoulders back. Move your arms again until you feel that nerve again. Keep alternating between these two for a minute, or look at each thumb thirty times each.

Now sit down. Put your left hand firmly under your left buttock, palm down. Keep your shoulders back and put your right hand over the crown of your head, very gently pulling it to the right. Do this for thirty seconds, then do it again but with your right hand under your right buttock.

These are stretches for the nerves in your arms, and are very good for people who sit behind a computer a lot, or fibre artists, or you name it. Do them daily. They will hurt in the beginning, but keep doing them, even after the pain has gone, or it will return and you'll have to start all over.

[beholdthemem]

My fellow bitches under 5'5. Whatever the money, do not take a job working at a middle school. A fellow adult tried to put me in detention last month and would NOT give up until I showed her my badge proving Yes, The School Hired Me To Work Here. It's not meant for people our height.

[rioblitzle]

working retail

[cafeyote]

me and gang at the haunted house

[barbaricjester]

Shout out to the little girl at my store today who had a shirt that said "skeleton mouse" and she was carrying around a plushie of a rat, had hair clips in her hair that had rats on them, and a necklace with a rodent skull on it.

As I was checking her mother out at the register she pulled out a handful of rubber rats from her pocket and put them on my counter, to which her mother sighed and said "no sweetie, he doesn't need rats" to which I just looked at her like this

[hansoeii]

A latte with lots of love!