#it feels so evil and fucked up its great
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making a modpack is so much fun until you realize a mod you wanted to use is only for versions 1.12.2 but you were making a modpack for 1.18.2 and its so fucked up
#i love the freedom of being able to just add things to my game#it feels so evil and fucked up its great#but i will never ever be ok again#because bibliocraft and thaumcraft are only for 1.12.2 and earlier#so fucked up#i cannot play thaumcraft and have cool humongous caves#minecraft#modding
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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FALLEN IDOL WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! THE BROTHERS ARE FIGHTING!!!
#FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!#MY HEART#EVIL EVIL EVIL JAIL 100 YEARS#I always love an episode where Hawkeye crumbles under the pressure#me when the jokey coping mechanism facade falls away#me when its easy to be confident in your abilities when you’re operating on people you dont know#but as soon as its someone you love you’re reminded of the gravity of your work and what could happen if it goes wrong#PLUS knowing you’re the reason he was out there to get hurt in the first place#and even though everything goes well the guilt makes you act as badly as you feel you are#leading to my next point. I love when character’s perception of another also crumbles#Ah Radar sweet naïve starry eyes Radar#Hawk always has a joke a comment a remark. he laughs in the face of the war#even if he’s scared he doesn’t let it get to the steadiness of his hands. nothing could rattle him#and that makes it all easier to keep going to not be scared yourself#but thats a lot to put on someone’s shoulders to be fearless at all times#so its a cold shock when he snaps after you try to uphold him to your idealised view of him. showing hes just as scared as you are#maybe even more so#this whole episode was so thich as thieves brother’s first fight#God… GOD!!!!#Fallen idol….. hawkeye…. radar…..#literally head in hands#its all so human…. putting someone on a pedestal helps no one….#all because Radar has no rizz…#the way everyone went to yell at Hawk after he snapped at Radar was classic#Mulcahy really put his whole christussy into kicking that heater#Potter and Margret’s whole how dare you yell at your little brother like that dont you know he looks up to you?!’ shtick was great#urgh…#they’re brothers your honor#theyre so important to me#mash
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totk really is one of those games that make me go "ok thanks for the characters, setting, and general plot, but ill take it from here <3" because the entire historical timeline had so much potential for interesting and nuanced story telling but they just went with the old zelda story formula and YES thats how theyve always done it but botw was such a reset in terms of gameplay that they couldve overhauled how they handle story in totk. but they didnt
#ramblings#all the races swearing fealty to rauru made me so uncomfortable#like yeahhh ganondorf evil or whatever but also. hey. why is the one leader fighting for the independence of his people. the evil villain#am i just not getting something here am i insane#my first thought when i heard about ganondorf returning was 'wow they could turn him into an actual character' AND THEN THEY DIDNT#its been half a year i feel like the honeymoon period is over. totk was kinda mid. im sorry#it was alright but it just. didnt grab me. at all#botw was interesting because it was new but totk made me yearn for the older zelda formula#though tbh. im always yearning for the older zelda formula. i grew up on oot & twilight princess#you hype up ganondorf so much you make him look like THAT (no im still not over this) and then you just. do what weve always done#this happened in twilight princess. it happened in oot. it happened in ww. hell if you count demise it happened in skyward sword#IT HAPPENE.D IN THE FUCKING HYRULD WARRIORS SPINOFF#'oooh noooo the great evil has returned' WEVE BEEN HERE EVERY TIME. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH POTENTIAL#heres the gerudo having a man born and making him king as is their custom but they spend years in fear that he will be monstrous#here they are after all these iterations of ganondorf afraid to even have kids out of fear that SOMEONE will bring the new great evil#heres a child recently given the throne despite being barely more than a baby always treated with fear by everyone around him#ARE YOU SEEING MY VISION????#the curse is right there. do something with it. oh my god#i KNOW zelda games are just simple heros journeys but pleaseeee i need food#you dont have to make ganondorf nice just. do something with him im so tired of the evil guy caricature#i like guys who are plain evil but i like them more when they have some fucked up motivation beyond taking over the world
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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ok so MAYBE I need to make a doctor's appointment because my birth control is fucking with me literally whatever
#ok so like looking like third period is about yhe happen in a row#last ones were a week apart and its veen exactly two weeks since my last one finished#this is so evil because this birth control DID WORK it was great and then i took a fucking three month break#because of all those 'i went off my birth control and feel like myself for rhe first time in 20 years' videos on Instagram made me paranoid#but now that im starting up because i realized that actually i wasnt experiencing bad evil stuff while on it its being evil now 😭
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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im back on my 'never shutting up about animatics i cant make' bullshit but like, orv and changgwi by ahn ye eun anyone
#i think this is like the third time im talking about this song on my blog but consider: its REALLY GOOD#ive seen many wildly different translations of this song (both english and chinese bc this song went a bit viral on cn internet a while bac#so yknow. not great. cuz i cant speak korean. but anyway#i call it the evil spirit tricks you into getting eaten by a tiger song but like idk i feel like some of the lines work rly well#got introduced to this song via absolutely incredible arknights chongyue animatic on bb so yknow#add this to the pile of 'potential animatic songs that also constantly make me think of other (better) animatics'#oh but thanks to that animatic for the idea of every time the lyrics go 'come lets dance' the visuals is just a fight scene LMAO#idk im just constantly coming up with new animatic ideas because the longer its been since i finished my last one the more i realise how#god AWFUL it is like idk if other people get this but i sometimes get youtube videos with like 200 views recommended to me for no reason#and a while back i was looking for like. an ado song or something and i got my own animatic as a sidebar recommendation???#like youtube what the fuck? anyway yeah my god its really not good#im not like. blaming my past self for it necessarily i planned that with the editing power of IMOVIE in mind thats why it looks Like That#but my god i want to make a new one so bad just to prove that i can make something better#like i got capcut now i can actually fucking edit.#asto speaks#orv
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I bring it up because I just wanted to know no I can be proud of Daigo too!!!
i think it's ok to be proud of daigo dojima for getting this far with The Nastiest deck of cards he was dealt :) good for him :)
#snap chats#real shit tho#like first his parents are negligent if not potentially abusive#then his dad dies and listen Sohei Was Uber Cringe but still youre always gonna feel weird bout bad things happening to your parents#well not me my mom evil im built different but this aint bout me anyways#then daigo goes to juvie because he didnt know how to manage his emotions well and took it out on a baseball team#then he just wanderin the streets trying to fill the void until he gets sent to prison under false charges#and as soon as he's out BOOM. Do You Want This Burning Organization#GG he seemed just fine running it for three years but then Politics Happened and he Got Shot#lost his bestie (after bestie got guilty bout wanting to 'mercy kill' him)#and then not even a year later The Burning Organization is bankrupt because UNFORTUNATELY bestie was a GREAT accountant#and bros scrambling hes trying and he is fucking up but hes learning#Kinda he did run off in Y5 to make up for the whole baseball thing. not throwing hands with a baseball team- ok partially that kinda#and then he GETS SHOT. AGAIN.#then he got sent to jail in 6 for false arson charges... son please stop getting false charges...#and after his New Dad Number 3 'dies' he and his homies gotta get outta town less than a year later cause some twink said so#and THEN he gotta dissolve That Burning Organization and find everyone a new home and new way of life#and would ya look at him... he's still going strong.... im so proud of him and the fact he's not dead yet#tl;dr im very proud of daigo dojima even if he does silly things sometimes its honestly relatable#hes trying to hard to navigate this new path himself- not because he doesnt have anyone to help him (ok partially that)#and he just wants to prove to himself he's capable of doing this and he wants to make kiryu proud and do him right#UGH i love him.... im so proud of him thats all i can say i love him
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Dude.. my ex boyfriend totally did get me into conspiracy theory shit, even if unintentionally (i think its intentional im sure he believed in that shit. Would not surprise me at all.) At the time i was already pretty isolated from anyone online who mightve countered any of my dumb spiritual or alien related beliefs because of some dumb shit i said online making most of the friends and followers i made online generally avoid me, depending on who it was. I was just a regular pagan and then he showed me this weird video with all this weird conspiracy theory symbolism in it. I looked it up later on and looked up the meaning of the symbolism and came across a whole bunch of stuff posing itself as Secret Information The US Govt Doesnt Want You To Know About, etc. And then i just fell deeper into the conspiracy theory pipeline, traded my paganism for new age beliefs, and goddamn dude. Like we both got suspended from school bc he had a dumb idea to dumb shit there and i spent my time in detention fucking. Trying to read "the emerald tablets" or whatever tf. Its all coming back to me rn.
#anyways im not about to let yall make me feel guilty for falling in this direction anymore bc i was fuckin 14 and didnt know SHIT about us#politics aside from lgbt ppl deserve rights and to live like everyone else and same w all the other minorities (even tho i probably still#had issues i needed to work on around those things. still generally i wouldve considered myself progressive but apolitical)#and i was already at the time rejecting my christian upbringing and trying out satanism and paganism and such and so#i had a very rebellious mindset at the time. i also hated authority so the first antiesrablishment thing i saw i clung to bc it was#*close enough* to how i felt. none of that shit ever outwardly stated (at the time at least) that anything was abt jewish ppl and i was#filling in the parts about 'child sex rings' to be about christians bc thats how i knew them to be like. it just like. seems so obviously#something a christian would try to do. like a creepy priest or something. i imprinted my own meaning onto it#im not saying it was good but i definitely didnt go into it and stick to it for reasons some ppl might wanna believe#i was way more on the spiritual leaning side and the ~secret spiritual meaning~ of the world. like the flower of life or fuckin.#shit like how theres. idk. a fucking disc or something thats supposed to go on top of the great pyramids that super enlightened#people can only navigate like a spaceship or some shit?#idk the mythology of it all really fucking enraptured me. and i still liked the reptilians even tho they were supposed to be evil and#apparently an antisemitic dogwhistle. i thought it was the annunaki or whatever i was supposed to hate. at least.#the opinions were pretty mixed back then. admittedly i didnt really look up other ppls opinions on that stuff other than articles ppl wrote#like no forums or anything really. which is probably a very good thing i avoided those lol. regardless i thought of the reptilians#as being more neutral but generally looking out for themselves kinda like. the way a reptile would ig. but now that ik its a dog whistle#it really took a the magic out of all of that stuff for me :/ im disillusioned to say the least lol.#all that new age shit was appropriation. christianity rebranded. or weird shit people made up about atlantis or whatever sjjsksks#my favorite was the oceanis one where theres a star system where whales and dolphins come from#like that one was my favorite to believe in dhdjjsksksbdhs#imagine being on a star planet diving around in the sea of light u_u anyways it still sounds fun shsjskskwne.#i hope that one is at least more tame. though im sure its still somehow connected to everything else which im p sure it is#dude all of this information is just resurfacing about all of this shit. i could totally write a whole thing about all the conspiracy#theories i learned about. i might if only to make fun of it all sjdjksksks#yall ever heard of FUCKING david willcocks????#his willing cocks???????#his fucking ass#and gaia FUCKING tv#all that dumb shit
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Btw only today I remembered the time a Baki character crawled thru and out a man's asshole.and his only explanation was I could do that because I'm very small (he's 160cm).
#luly talks#he's an incredible characters actually brace yourselves time to speak of one of.my fave baldies#but he's great. he is a system and for a manga that came out in the 90s it is handled rather fucking well#bc the guy who did that gaia isn't like. evil. in the fucking slightlest.#he's just a mercenary! he's a fighter and a soldier!! but hes a fair and nice man.#nomura the other one is ALSO a soldier but its very cute bc he's just a medic#and like. the way everyone is so fucking nice about this?#like his comrades are tots ok w that like they're scared of gaia bc WELL I MEAN. THEY KNOW WHAT HE CAN DO#but its ok bc he's a baki character of course you'd fear him KQGAJSHWNDG#anyway gaia is also a big time faggot HQYWHDHEHVD but again unsurprising he's a baki character#but he loooves fangirling over older stronger men its very cute he LOVES his master#and made him lose the pants. its epic. love motobe cock#another thing about gaia is the fact that he severely traumatized a man. literally insane shit he did to him#do i feel bad? yes. should i feel bad? no. because that man kicked igari's ass so hard he left the manga permanently#igari being My Beloved Wrestler with a Canoe Shaped Face based on that one japanese wrestler w the huge chin#antonio inoki i think?#anyway. that man he traumatized? he's doing yaoi with him now.#straight up yaoi. they're living together and they act like a fucking married couple#i have yet to read it but it's insane#also gaia is also friends with this very tall dude very tall as in 210cm i think? hes up to 240+ now he keeps expanding his bones#anyway and the guy he tortured was first being tortured by this giant who upon seeing him scream at the top of his lungs was like#lol that's hot you're so my type#well not verbatim but he did say something along those lines jack hanma LOVES russian guys its crazy#anyway after that he was like hot but im not gonna kill you and then gaia comes in and i remember someone mentioning in the comments of the#place i read the manga from how insane their heighr difference was and saying that Gaia could suck his cock while standing#which is absolutely fucking true. but i can't get over it.#anyway that was my infodumping of the day#as you might've noticed gaia is way more relevant that Nomura but that doesn't say a lot#bc gaia shows up w nomura in one arc at the very start of the book then appears again as gaia to traumatize this man#I HIT TAG LIMIT FUCK anyway he shows up in 2 major arcs only super little idk about the spinoff i have yet to read but he's a bit irrelevant
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amazing how funie pizza guys can give me so much joy.
#Cade.Txts#havent been posting much cus i've been rly spacey lately n not feeling good.#but the funie pizza guys making me feel better.#shout out 2 server im in. n the comfort au we made. its great.#its not called tht but it is v much a comfort au for me for variety of reasons.#anywayts. been dealing w some family bullshit. i can't wait until i never have to see my#dads one sister ever again. i hope she dies alone w fucking nothing.#might sound harsh but she's a evil- awful- human being.#for variety of reasons.#Mom says she isn't going to die w nothing because she has all sorts of money n i just hope she fucking#loses all of it. afterall she's stolen so much money from us.#Anyways enough of that. wayching holly play pizza tower and she pointed out when pep is in#his ghost powerup- when u mske him fly up it looks like he has bunny ears#and i have not recovered from this news. bunie....
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i can't be trusted to take breaks bc i'm now on day 4-5 of "doing no school work at all" since it's the winter semester break and i said i'd take monday off for myself. i have the second section of my essay technically due tomorrow and i'm absolutely not going to be done on time. fuck me man
#the problem is im not doing awesome rn. im gonna be ok but yk its february it happens#so i said 'ill take a day off see if that helps. no work for one day and then back at it tomorrow'#but i didnt get back at it. bc my stupid fucking adhd ass brain hears 'do no work' and will then refuse to turn back on#i NEEDED a break genuinely. but i cant turn my attention/focus on and off like everyone else so now its fucking. broken#i have shit i need to get done!!#and make it worse bc i wasnt doing great to begin with now that im not doing anything i feel guilty for that which makes me feel worse#and makes it harder to do anything at all#the only options for me are working until i drop which is bad for me or taking a break and getting completely off track#levi.txt#vent tw#its not even that i dont WANT to work bc i like what im doing. i just cant make myself fucking do it#doesnt help that bc im on break my routine is all fucked up. i always start to work idly during class between taking notes#it helps me focus and not get bored and then i can work up to full focus hard work after class in the library#and since im not going to class this week... i dont start work#whoever came up w the idea that school breaks were for finishing/catching up on work: youre fucking evil#what do you think a BREAK means#companies arent allowed to make me work on my lunch so why are you giving us a 'break' and forcing us to work through that#anyway. im going to try to finish a paragraph of my essay today and email my supervisor to tell him itll be in late#fucking sucks but yk. im really not making this deadline. id have to get like 10pgs done today plus major revisions
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when people say "ok but x bug has no benefit to nature" I bet they can't even name 5 facts about the bug they're shitting on. so how could they Possibly know what its function is in the environment and if it's "useless" or not
wasps being the perfect example, I still get people saying "oh bees are cute and pollinate :) yay. but WASPS ARE EVIL and they don't contribute ANYTHING!!!" and it's like buddy. wasps pollinate too. they also control spider populations. they do a lot of great valuable things. but even if they didn't, they're still worthy of being here. I see SO much hatred toward wasps and I wish people would try to learn a little more about them.
I'm mainly talking about paper wasps here because these are common ones we run into in daily life and most commonly deemed "aggressive". but wasps have body language. and if you learn to read this language and learn how to properly act around them, things will go a lot better for you! wasps can be curious creatures and they may come up to observe you, especially if you're wearing something brightly colored. this can be startling for sure, but my best advice is to just be still, DO NOT SWAT or wave your arms. try to just back away or sidestep so it loses interest and leaves. swatting is just gonna make them feel as if they are being attacked and increase your chances of being stung.
many stings happen due to unfortunate but accidental circumstances. unknowingly getting too close to a nest, stepping on a wasp on accident, one getting stuck in clothing, etc. I got stung once while gardening, went to pull a weed and the wasp was on it, so I grabbed her without knowing and she stung me because she was scared. this doesn't mean "oh wasps are AGGRESSIVE and EVIL" it means you stumbled into an unfortunate situation where the wasps felt threatened and defensive. instead of being like "FUCK all wasps" go forward trying to learn about common nesting areas, be wary of holes in the ground, wear gloves while gardening, and if you do have to be around a nest, try not to make a lot of noise. if the nest absolutely needs removed, call a professional.
#michaelpost#bugs#insects#wasps#another bug rant post but this time i dont think people are ready to hear it#I see MORE hate lately toward wasps than I see toward spiders#and its very annoying bc wasps are an extremely diverse group of insects and have many functions and benefits#it sucks badly to see bees get adored but wasps get shit talked
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Ok so good news I have finished unlocking all the oni lore, bad news there wasn't as much left as I was hoping. But on the bright side, Jean and Nails got to do more stuff hell fucking yes
#rat rambles#oni posting#also the nails log is So fucking interesting Im obsessed with it#also rip olivia made the brain stuff hc but Im perfectly ok with this#oh we also got more nikola stuff in the same logs which is fascinating#mostly because it has continued to pile onto the weirdness of the 'evil' log#because evidently managing the time bow wasnt his job for most of his time at gravitas#or at least not a primary responsibility of his#as for nails I find them to be such a delightful character theyre another great example of oni's ability to give its characters such strong#characterizations without letting us know much about any of the cast on a personal level#in particular I love that nails is a part of the 'yeah they totally know' club while also being the closest thing we get to someone's#perspective on the project on a more personal level even if it's not super directly#nails is a person who was very optimistic and admiring of jackie who was all for less regulation until they weren't#they were perfectly fine with the deaths of duplicants for science but smth abt that data crossed a line to them#idk what sort of thing is so horrible that it made someone go from not minding the deaths of a being to going behind their company's back#in a desperate attempt to try to help them even if it ultimately doesnt add up to much#oh and they did at least one test of the memory transferal on a human. we dont know who it is all we're given is a subject number (901)#but well. I kinda feel like theres one option the game may be pointing us towards#theres only one character weve seen with an added number to their work id#anyways hiiiii olivia hows it going over there are you failing to free yourself from the being involved with duplicant stuff allegations#like I was getting real close to admitting that it is possible that she wasnt at all involved with the duplicant program but uh nvm lol#rly the one thing that made me start cracking on my belief that She Knows is thats he never directly talks abt duplicants by namr#she talks abt 'printed subjects' a whole lot but technically speaking that doesnt inherently mean shes talking abt duplicants too#but at the same time. the way she talks abt these printed subjects a lot of the time sure as hell doenst make it sound like critters#like hell the reason she initially quit was not wanting mind control to be implemented into printed subjects#and then theres the email where she requests that the microchips in the 'colonists' are given non survival data too#so like. she knows she totally does she just doesnt call them duplicants#which tbh makes sense given that by all means they basically are humans theyre literally meant to be exact clones#so maybe she never started calling them duplicants when the name was concieved for some reason or another#most likely because of how dehumanizing it is even if she probably doesnt mind other methods of dehumanization on them too much
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Makes me so so sad that my first relationship was bad for me even though nothing explicitly bad happened. I see all these things about first loves or firsts in general and how fun it is but all I felt was obsessive, scared, confused, very rarely good. I only had fun when I was drunk (and he always made sure I was safe when I was drunk ofc) but the rest of it-- and even that-- was so tense and fraught, like trying to make unoiled gears turn
#i HATE that i now associate this w him because that was a friend and now i dont trust him in the slightest and i cant think of him too long#without developing all these unsubstantiated worries. i said i want to be friends again at some point but i really dont know if i can do it#i want to because i miss what was there before but like he as a person is now a trigger for me. its odd because we spoke once since the#breakup and it was good for me at least. it felt good. it felt relieving like having that friend back but if his absence inspires so much#worry (not worry for him but worry about him (who is he really? am i safe around him? is he safe around me? I don't feel safe)) then no.#i need so so so much time to even understand what happened and why it feels so bad and i need an ''after'' to play out to get a real#picture of who anybody involved actually is.#i dont trust him at all even though i want to. what sucks too is i have a great intuition around these things so i know intellectually ther#'s likely nothing that off about him but that he as he currently is is just very bad for me as i currently am. and vice versa. but that fee#like world ending panic if i think about it too much. god i cant wait for september to be over. if he brings up trying to be friends again#(which I hope he won't) I'll have to show him this or some other thing I've written during our time apart so he gets just how much time i#need bc in the moment ill be so relieved to be talking again that ill forget this feeling#we’re working on a show tgt about the devil and in those panic moments that triggers me a bit bc ive had sparse and easy to shut down but#still scary moments where i reflect on very very specific instances and think oh yeah the devil possessed him in that moment. and then im#like girl nooooo it fucking didnt what happened was actually [X] but the fact that my mind even goes there is INSANE#not unprecedented unfortunately. but insane. i was telling my mom some of these things and she was like ‘’that poor kid’’ and i was crying#like ‘’I KNOW he thought he got someone normal and he got ME’’#its so funny hes sad about the breakup in like a normal way meanwhile im like i dont care about the breakup but i think ive committed some#cardinal sins i think there is evil in the water and i may be exhibiting mild psychotic symptoms that ive been suppressing for many years.#i did really leave bc i was just not into it though#this is all like side effects. honestly issues ive been having for years and years but which were triggered and which id been suppressing#since like may/june#i just was not into it and i wanted to be but i wasnt and i got confused#this’ll be a fun memory that i sort of can’t talk about one day
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