#it genuinely doesn't make my anxiety worse and she's never denied my anxiety in the past so idk what started it now

[emometalhead]

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[mechazushi]

Story Idea #3

So, this idea falls more into the category of a video game, but games are just interactive stories, so I'm counting it. Also, I've always viewed this through an Ib colored lens. 16 bit, top down, horror, puzzle, multiple endings, genuinely terrifying and anxiety inducing moments. That sort of thing.

So the idea goes like this. A mother and her child, definitely adult age as well, are discussing the Mother's living arrangement. Its not that mom's gotten old, its that her house could be on an episode of Hoarders. The Mom hasn't been dealing with a lot of things well emotionally. Husband dead, kids flew the nest, probably a few other things as well. The two of them fight and the kid storms off into another room... well.... as best they can really. The Mom senses that they need a moment and decides to get introspective, only to deny herself the truth and clarity and tries to go after the Kid. Only... was the hallway always this long? There seems to be more boxes than she expected. Ok, this room didn't look like this before, and she should of definitly caught up to her child by now. The house, although filled with stuff, never felt this big. OK, She was POSITIVE this house didn't have two bedrooms... AND another HALLWAY?!?!?!

She gets to the end of the hallway and sh*t goes off the rails. Now there's these shadowy humanoids reaching out and slithering across the floors and walls. She looks into the next room and sees that a cluster of them have her kid hostage. Struggiling and screaming, the shadows wrangle the child and mother away from each other, clawing the child with them into a pile of trash at the other end of the room. The room is silent now. All that there is to here is the wind, knocking branches into the thin glass windows and the mothers strangled, repressed weeping. Not sure if she can cry any louder at the moment, terrified that it might attract unwanted attention. The mission is clear now, however. Clean the house. Get the Kid.

What really makes this story in my head is this idea that I have for the core game mechanic. The only thing the mother can carry with her that doesn't seem to be affected is her purse, and its just as bad as the rest of the house. Absolutely filled to the brim with junk, one might be compelled to get rid of some of it right off the bat. Its sounds like a good idea, right? Start small, trash the used tissues, the foil wrapped ball of used gum, and find a better place for the box of thumbtacks. Easy enough. But this is where you would be making your first mistake. In order to get the good ending of the game, you have to pass every puzzle using the junk in the purse, and I do mean EVERYTHING. The puzzles can be solved in different ways, with a different combination of items. To make matters worse, you can trash (essentially perma delete) items from your purse and pick up different items in rooms. How much and what's left in the purse can determine the ending of the game. Obviously the good ending is you save the kid and get the Mom to therapy, but things could go wrong between here and there.

[jen-co]

Do you side with Amber?

Amber Heard? Amberlynn Reid? I figure it's Amber Heard because I mentioned her 😂 but I have this person who gets mad at me on youtube and calls me an Amberlynn/life by Jen supporter haha. I don't SUPPORT them, I just think some of the crap people say to them makes them even worse than Amber/Jen.

BUT ANYWAY, I assume you mean the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard lawsuit. No, I wouldn't say I support Amber but I'm not sone Johnny stan either. There is evidence to show that Amber hit Johnny (her own admission on audio recording). There's evidence that Johnny has an addiction and would do things like smashing cupboards which can feel very aggressive when someone does things like that. But they said his mum had just died around the time of that footage.

I definitely believe Amber was abusive but that doesn't mean she can't also be a victim of domestic violence as well. All signs point to her at least being the main abuser but I wasn't there, the evidence is limited and I know what it's like to go through that and not be believed so I don't like to make judgement calls on things like that.

Her behaviour in court is unusual - the tone of voice and certain facial expressions come across as strange and potentially ingenuine and people are having a field day with that. But some people speak in certain ways for various reasons and I completely disagree with people who state she can't be a victim because she appeared to go "heh" in a recording or smiled at a certain time, didn't appear afraid enough. I've seen people saying "a REAL victim would never record their abuser or provoke them, they'd run away and hide!!", which is incorrect and a very simplistic attitude. I have inappropriate affect as part of autism and PTSD and I've laughed plenty of times while recounting abuse, especially to my psychologist because she was acting really sympathetic and I get really uncomfortable when people show me sympathy, or give a compliment.

There were times I stayed in the room after being hit which resulted in me getting hit again. I was demanding my ex husband to tell me why he does it, to admit that he did it (he'd do it and then seriously deny it happened 5 minutes later sometimes, or at least downgrade it to something else but sometimes outright denial). I just couldn't understand why someone would act like that, why he hated me so much when all I ever did was try to help him and have a normal life together. I'm stressful because of my anxiety but I'm not nasty, argumentative, difficult, don't have unreasonable expectations etc. Anyway, it really annoys me when people think you have to fit some victim stereotype and a real victim would never be assertive because that's not true. I felt so broken that it's like I didn't care if he hit me yet another time, in that moment. I have PTSD and your behaviour and emotions don't always make straightforward sense when you're traumatised.

I don't know what went down with the actual trial in the UK, but the current case is a defamation case so all that could come of it is the jury believes Johnny didn't abuse Amber and he successfully sues her for 40 million, or not. I assume he'll win because the evidence does not look good for her and her legal team seems kind of incompetent. Plus her statements don't come across as genuine to the general public and the jury may reflect that as well.

I definitely don't support her and she very well may be the sole abuser. I think he admitted to pushing her which is domestic violence but I don't remember the context.

I don't think she's some manipulative mastermind that people are making her out to be. She's put her foot in it so many times and clearly hasn't rehearsed very well. I think she's one of those people that just can't control her emotions very well and takes it out on people, and in her mind, she possibly downgrades the things she's done or justifies them to herself in some way. But Johnny Depp is no angel either, so I could never state that either of them are guilty/innocent.

My abuser told everyone that MY story and the abuse that happened to ME, was his story. He literally reversed our roles and said I abused him unprovoked all the time and he retaliated in self defence this one time. That's exactly what happened except roles completely reversed. I don't know how some people can sleep at night. It's like it doesn't even register to them that they damaged an innocent person physically and mentally, for life. Spent 12 years with him and put up with all of that, spent all my money on him and that's what he has to say about me years later? That I cheated on him and was a violent abuser? I'm such a piece of shit that I deserve to be thrown, punched, palm struck in the temple as hard as possible AND have my character run into the ground years later? I could not live with myself. He always claimed to be Christian but I don't see how anyone could be that evil and maintain any actual relationship with God. I just do not understand people like that. Uhhh... gone off topic again there.

No, I don't support her but the worship of Johnny is concerning as well. But if it's the case that he was not an abuser and she was then he certainly deserves some sort of vindication.

I don't think it matters what sex someone is, all that matters is intent.

[bigfatbreak]

Okay I don't want to come across as salty but I really want to understand Chloé's role in your AU. I absolutely love the Feralnette AU, if I see you've posted anything I go to your page to make sure I didn't miss anything.

But in your AU, Marinette is the guardian, so some version of Miracle Queen occured. I saw the last ask where you pointed out she's still a kid and definitely a victim, but I'm just not sure how she can be redeemed after nearly causing a train wreck and siding with Hawkmoth.

I suppose trying to unmask him is a start, and you probably can't give details without giving your own spoilers, but I have trouble understanding Chloé redemptions.

Anxiety wanted me to ask as anon but I don't wanna seem like I'm not being genuine. Also your art is awesome your brain is big I love the blasphemous.

thanks for the question! I understand your thoughts here, so I'll try to lay mine out as concisely as possible.

the interesting thing is that for a redemption to start, the person in question simply needs to have the desire to change. Regardless of if anyone forgives them, the important part is that they take the next step forward in trying.

Chloe's part in this AU is that she's trying to get better. Yeah, Miracle Queen happened. It was terrible. and yet clearly, Hawkmoth was manipulating her emotions and her personality to suit his favor. There's no denying Chloe's done terrible things in being selfish, but (at least in my AU here) the point is that she's realized that Hawkmoth is a dangerous man, not her friend, and it scares her to realize he almost convinced her of that. They they were allies.

What kind of a grown man with possessive superpowers attempts to 'befriend' a child by transforming them into a tool?

Most people in this AU won't forgive Chloe for the part she played. And that's fine, really. Chloe doesn't need their forgiveness to continue living - but to instead try to be the person she wanted to be, not be the person that made her feel good, feel like she was in control and powerful. Because that wasn't real. It was just an illusion, and she convinced herself that she could get what she wanted if she just, kept being awful.

The first step is that she wants to unmask Hawkmoth not for Paris, not for Ladybug, and certainly not to be the good guy. But for herself. Simply because he was grooming her to be someone she realized she didn't want to be. It's scary, to realize someone older than you with much more power and experience is attempting to coerce you into something, and nearly convinced you that its what you wanted. At that point, you don't feel like a victim - you feel like you were asking for it. That you deserved it, that you definitely wanted to do that thing - when coercion is no basis for consent.

Chloe knows she's done awful things and that her classmates and in fact most people in her daily life won't forgive her - but she won't be able to get better until Hawkmoth is out of the picture. For that, she needs his identity - and she knows Marinette is still Marinette, even if she's acting absolutely batshit.

Marinette would forgive her if she asked for forgiveness.

But Chloe is not going to ask. She's going to show, not tell, by getting Hawkmoth's head on a plate and making sure she never has to be afraid that her own emotions are going to be used against her ever again, and that no one else has to go through what it feels like.

The point of chloe's 'redemption' here is for herself. She's still selfish. She'll do things that are, honestly, pretty bitchy - but in the end, there's tons of students, highschoolers, etc that act that way. The reason she suddenly became enemy number one was because she was convinced she could only get what she wanted by being worse.

(This is something I wanted in the AU simply because most 'redemption arcs' in media these days have an all or nothing look to them, that people aren't shades of grey, that if they do something then they have to live in guilt and misery for the rest of their days as repentance. That's simply, in Chloe's words, utterly ridiculous.)

The most important step of a redemption arc is the first, and then the second, and then the one after that.

I'm not going to have Chloe throw herself onto the sword for forgiveness, because that would accomplish nothing, and she would never do that anyway. The best thing Chloe can do right now is support the people she thinks can help the world, like Marinette, and to try and get to the bottom of things. You have to admit, Chloe is terrible - but she was never a public terrorist, just super fuckin' annoying.

That's Hawkmoth. Literally, Hawkmoth is the source of every elevated problem in this series. Things go from annoying to life threatening critical because everyone is a tool for him to use.

Chloe won't say sorry because no one would accept it as being genuine. She certainly isn't going to have a big moment where she suddenly saves the day, because that just feeds her ego instead of makes her humble about the role of being a superhero.

But. Chloe can certainly invest in a future she wants to live in,

and the future she wants to live in has no Hawkmoth.

tdlr: Chloe's redemption arc isn't about redeeming herself for everyone else, and convincing them she's good. Because she's not. And she doesn't plan to be. Her redemption arc is about supporting those she knows ARE good and staying out of their way.

She has no desire to be a nuisance or a tool anymore.

[sarcasticgaypotato]

It is possibly angst, but what if, as GLaDOS and Chell's bond becomes stronger, the AI starts to feel despair because she wishes Chell to stay by her side forever? GLaDOS doesn't want the woman to grow old and die, but at the same time she doesn't wish to be like Cave Johnson, who forced Caroline into a fate of unwanted immortality. Maybe she could map human's genes and find the one responsible to old age and use idk nanotechnology to stop it.

(( Oooh, very angsty anon! I like. ))Only a madman would try to defy the passage of time. Something so unknown, yet so profound. Something that no one fully understood, yet everything abided by. From plants, to animals, to the very earth that they lived on. Everything bent to the will of father time.But if there was someone, a person or an entity confident or foolish enough to try and stand up to such a force, it would no doubt be Aperture Science.They had tried to meddle with time at least once in the past, but they hadn’t been even remotely close to fully defying it.  The experiments failed, their attempts barely making a dent on the fabric that they so wished to rip.Those men were driven by curiosity, the need to play with things that were deemed off limits, wanting to control forces they couldn’t even begin to understand. The second attempt however was much, much different. The forces behind it were no longer mere curiosity and a need to prove one’s abilities, but something much stronger. Love.

GLaDOS didn’t like to think about the passage of time.  What did it matter? She would live forever. Time was something that affected living beings, and she was not alive. Not in the traditional sense.  And so, for the longest time, she hardly even thought about the ticking of a clock.But that all changed with Chell. A human. A foolish, foolish human. She had wormed her way into GLaDOS’s heart, grabbed onto it, and wouldn’t let go.  Trust and affection came slowly, but before she knew it, the AI found herself caring for this girl with every fiber of her being.She checked, and it had been years since they put down their weapons and called a truce. Quite a few years actually, almost fifteen.And, upon looking back on old footage, GLaDOS could not deny that Chell changed somewhat with age.  She was not an old woman by any means, but little changes were noticeable. A small crease in her brow, formed by how much the girl furrowed it. The traces of lines under her eyes and at the corners of her mouth when she smiled.  Not counting her time in cryosleep, the ex-test subject was only almost middle aged, but it was enough to get GLaDOS thinking.Chell aged like any human would. Slowly but steadily, she would get older. Eventually, she’d be weaker, unable to do the athletic stunts that she pulled today. Her body would fail, and she would die.She would die, and she’d be gone, and GLaDOS would be alone once again.GLaDOS could not let that happen.That night, she held Chell closer than usual.  She didn’t loosely drape her arms over the human’s body while they both rested, she held onto the woman like an anchor, keeping her body as close as she possibly could. Chell had let out a small, surprised chuckle, murmuring a questioning comment towards GLaDOS’s sudden clinginess.  For a moment, the core debated voicing her thoughts. But… she didn’t. It was late, and perhaps it would just be better for the both of them to get some sleep.  Surely she’d just forget about this whole aging thing for a while when morning came.She didn’t.Unfortunately, the core had a bit of a bad habit when it came to over thinking things like this. Worries and ‘what ifs’ would bounce around in her head, getting worse and worse and building her anxiety until one of two things happened. She cracked under the pressure and Chell noticed, often helping to calm her down and work out the issue, or she continued to hold it in, and furiously try to find a solution to the source of her anxiety. Sometimes it worked, but frequently the situation would get worse and the former would end up happening regardless.This time, however, GLaDOS didn’t think Chell would be able to help.No doubt if she knew the AI’s worries she’d simply give that bittersweet, knowing smile that came up whenever the topic of humans came up, and respond with something that should’ve been soothing, if GLaDOS could only listen to sweet nothings.‘We have plenty of time.’‘Let’s just enjoy what we do have.’‘Well then, make sure you make the most of my youthful energy.’Somehow, these were all responses that GLaDOS could easily see coming from Chell, and each one caused a deep pang of hurt to bury into her chest.Chell didn’t understand the feeling of immortality. You could not live in the moment, you could not simply enjoy the now. Constantly the thoughts of the future haunted.  Chell could live her life to the fullest, and be content when she passed.  GLaDOS could not have that. She would be forced to remain the same while Chell changed, and eventually died.  How could she enjoy the now, when what seemed so far away was also creeping up so quickly?She had to fix this.  She knew not how, but she had to.  GLaDOS could not let Chell slip through her fingers, it would hurt too much.And so, the core got to work. So many humans had searched for immortality throughout history, surely it must be possible that one of them was at least a little close to being on to something?Unfortunately the answer was, not really. ‘Magical spells’ and mixtures of herbs, weird chants and something to do with virgins and moonlight did nothing for GLaDOS.  She needed something tangible. Something with cold, hard science.She threw herself into her work. She researched, she poured over any piece of information she could find. She tested her theories on any animals she could snatch off the surface and breed for mini test subjects, hoping to find some good signs.Throughout all this, Chell had noticed the AI’s odd behavior. She had confronted GLaDOS about it, but the core quickly became defensive on the matter and refused to talk about it. Chell, understanding that the topic was not one that GLaDOS was ready to share, was patient.  She stayed by the robot’s side, and treated her no differently.In turn, GLaDOS found herself desperately trying to juggle working as hard as possible, while still trying to dedicate as much time to her human as she could.  After all, if her experiments failed, she would have wasted all this time that she could’ve been spending with Chell.It was a mental war, constantly waging in her head, pulling her at the seams. And it was not made any easier by a lingering thought that persisted in her mind whenever she felt hopeless in her endeavors. If she could not stop aging itself, if she could not find a way to keep Chell’s mind and body alive and healthy forever, there was one other option.She could end up like GLaDOS.  She could be put into a machine and made to live forever.  GLaDOS could even make her an android body that looked exactly like the one she had now. It would be so… easy.  She’d never have to worry about losing the girl again.… The thought alone made her sick.  Despite having no gag reflex in her body, thinking about doing something like that to Chell made the core want to vomit.  Perhaps when they first met she might’ve wished that fate upon the human, but not now. Not after all they had been through.  GLaDOS cared for a precious few things in this world, and those she did, she would never want to see destroyed.  While the transfer to a robotic body could technically work, GLaDOS knew first hand what it did to you. How it felt. The violation she had experienced as a result.Chell would not be the same after that.  And even if the girl did it willingly, GLaDOS knew she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to do it. So, the core kept searching. She kept studying, working, desperately searching for an answer, refusing to answer the little voice in her head that reminded her of the easy way out of this.Finally, when it seemed she was at her breaking point, she found something. Nanotech, used to alter the makeup of human genes. Creating a perfect replica of Chell’s DNA, and training nanobots to recreate the correct cells, and take the place of damaged and weakened ones.  She tested it on creatures with very brief lifespans, as short as a few days.  After tinkering with it, she found the life of an insect expected to live no more than two days could survive nearly two weeks in good health.  She was stunned. Thrilled, nervous, almost ready to cry.  She’d no doubt need hundreds more tests done to make sure it would be safe and effective for humans but… she might’ve found the cure to time.That night when Chell entered her chamber, GLaDOS practically ran to the girl, sweeping her up in her arms and peppering her face with excited kisses.  Even if just for tonight her anxiety faded. A possible solution was in sight, practically in reach.  This was the happiest she had been in months, and it showed.  Chell, despite her confusion, beamed just as brightly as GLaDOS, seeming to be over the moon that her lover seemed genuinely happy about something.  She had been worried about the core, and while that worry would likely still remain until she got an answer to GLaDOS’s odd behavior, for now she just seemed thankful for a ray of hope.However, when GLaDOS eventually did tell her what she had been doing, Chell hesitated.She frowned somewhat, seemingly torn.  Humans weren’t meant to live forever, and she was unsure if she even wanted to.GLaDOS was devastated.  She urged Chell to trust her on this.  She wouldn’t live forever, but her lifespan could be more than doubled in length.  Hell, if GLaDOS could figure it out, she might even be able to make the girl’s body feel even younger than she was now if she wanted.  But she begged Chell to, at the very least, let the core extend her life.Chell did not know how to react at first.  She stared at her lover, searching the core’s optics for the truth behind all this.  In Chell’s mind, this was coming out of nowhere. She was not old or frail; why did the AI worry so?“Please, Chell… I…I can’t lose you.”GLaDOS practically croaked this out, the weight on her heart finally crushing enough to cause her to break in front of the girl.  She no longer cared about holding an appearance of strength or indifference, not now.  She just needed to put this fear to rest. To tame the growing panic in her chest whenever she glanced at a calendar or clock.She hardly noticed that she had fallen to her knees, the cold floor not registering in her mind.  Instead, what made her look up was Chell’s warm arms wrapping around her.  The girl kneeled down, and pulled GLaDOS to her chest, letting the android listen to her heartbeat for a moment. The sound was something of a comfort to the core, but now more than ever. The soft thump of a living, beating heart.A strangled sob escaped her throat without warning, and she could feel the slight burn of tears forming in the corners of her eyes.  A pointless addition to her android form; she was going to stain Chell’s tank top.The human didn’t seem to care.  She ran her hand up and down GLaDOS’s back, murmuring soft words of comfort. Her voice was no longer alien to the AI, but somehow it still made her non-existent heart skip a beat.“…I’m not going anywhere yet, GLaDOS. And… I will think about your offer.”That was the closest thing to a yes that GLaDOS needed right now.  She would perfect her tech needed for the operation in the case of the girl saying yes, and in case she said no…GLaDOS’s hands fiddled with something, a piece of metal that looked a lot like a computer chip. On it, was a small, digital clock, able to be set to a number of years, months, days, and hours.   If Chell said no, GLaDOS would fix her problem in a different way.She would never ask Chell to live as an android and survive forever.   She would much rather live like a human, and give herself an expiration date.