#it is simply gnawing at me

[sophsicle]

okay probably actually what i should do is delete tiktok. i am truly the master of my own misery here and i know that. it is in my power to remove myself from the presence of the content i find so infuriating and yet i consistently choose not to. BUT. like. what is with this new obsession with canon? like someone explain? i have seen like 3 tiktoks (and ill be honest it really only takes one 2 get me ranting at my empty bedroom like a lunatic) where people are out here complaining about how fandom is mischaracterizing the marauders and how knowing canon is the bare minimum work someone needs to do to make a headcanon which. like. who are you people and why has the concept of silly fun eluded you??????? the bare minimum work??? bro. if someone wants to write a story about some lil wizard guys and all they know is that they are some lil wizard guys and they have never picked up an HP book or watched a movie THEY SHOULD DO IT. and it wont ruin anything. the fandom will be fine. it'll be chillin. heck, maybe it'll even enjoy this baseless story. there are no mischaracterizations in fandom, a space in which the whole purpose is for people to be creative with the source material, there are just characterizations you like and ones you don't. if you want nothing but word for word what JKR has written that's weird but go off king, u should go read her then and stop making it everyone else's problem. like. stop making up rules you fascists. fandom is anarchy. nobody has to know anything or do anything or follow any other rule besides don't be a mean guy.

[mythtiide]

guysss stop staring lovingly into eachothers eyes we have a facility to run omg guyssssssssssss

[tchaikovskygay]

"you do not sound like yourself." "i hope you know my care for you is not contingent on your aid." "that means a great deal to me." fuck nasty about it already

[crazymecjc]

does their praise cure it?

the loneliness?

[hangingslothcentral]

quietly, patiently reminding myself that I'm currently doing fortnightly releases for a REASON. I'm putting out an episode of SBRR one week, an episode of NQD the other week, looking for other work, developing a New Show, and trying to work out next steps for Twelvelms. I already have a VERY PACKED schedule.

but consider; want to release all content NOW.

is that content recorded and edited and ready to drop? no. am I actually behind schedule on SBRR scripts and New Show admin? YES.

buuuuut. I have written almost the WHOLE SEASON of NQD and it's killing me that I'm having to wait to put it out. it's not even done and I'm already chomping at the bit. I feel like I see a lot of fans talking about the agony of waiting for new episodes to release but I don't see a lot of creators talking about the DESPAIR of not just being able to have the whole thing done immediately so everyone can look at it and scream.

i'm trying to do other things and my brain is like 'vampires vampires VAMPIRES' and last night I finished an episode which has SUCH a reveal in it and I was like 'it's okay, Eira, it's okay, it feels like a long time now but if you look at the calendar, it's not long until this one comes out' but do you know when that episode is coming out? MAY. it's coming out IN MAY.

which is funny bc i MAY have combusted by then from sheer excitement.

just spent two hours proving to myself that no I can't just start putting episodes out weekly, I really can't, it would completely burn me out and I'm already pretty knackered by my production schedule as it is.

i am suffering the AGONIES. this is an entirely reasonable and proportionate response/j.

--- Eira xxx

[soldier-poet-king]

Made the most unhinged existentialist agony reading list for Lent and I'm not technically offline til Easter but I might just be mostly absent in practice bc I'm too busy having a mental breakdown since this seems to not be one of those one day and it's gone episodes

[jibunwo]

that post abt not caring that much abt the most popular femslash ship for a thing is me with immortal days like karl and asha had a whole entire onscreen wedding and im going insane over crumbs of ashas absent mothers toxic gay situationship

[glambots]

I just thought up the WORST fucking joke, y'all are gonna hate me for this.

---

An animatronic jester walks into the Parts and Service office.

"Engineer!" He cries. "I need your help!"

"With what?" Asks the engineer.

"I have been feeling awful." Says the jester.

"Why is that?" Asks the engineer.

"There is a terrible sadness brewing within me," replies the jester.

The engineer thinks for a moment.

"Go see the Daycare Attendant," they say. "He is always cheerful and has a smile on his face. He is sure to raise your spirits."

"But engineer!" The jester cries. "I am the Daycare Attendant!"

"In that case," the engineer replies, "let's try a Controlled Shock."

[girderednerve]

ugh!

had an argument with my partner over literally nothing & then suddenly & awkwardly started sobbing while standing outside by a creek (humiliating) & then we talked it out & it was completely fine (love is real) but for some reason my scalp? was like, twitching? i have had eyelid twitches before but like my whole upper face was convulsively twitching. is this like, aging or stress or something? because it sucked & i did not like it

[boyczar]

please listen to Nina Simone’s cover of Isn’t It a Pity. please remember that we all are suffering from the human condition. we all have veils that are dulling our ability do what we came here to do: love each other. your neglectful or abusive parents, the trauma you’ve endured, the stresses of work, your lack of communication & emotional regulation skills that you were never taught, your complicated relationship with religion, your self doubt and insecurity instilled in you by emotionally immature people who didn’t know what they were talking about. all of it. you are so much more. we all are. we all reveal our shortcomings in this life, often. even those who have “done the work” still fall prey to the ways of society. they want us lonely and broken. you are easier to control this way. don’t give them what they want. don’t give yourself away, it’s all you have. you are love-able. you are able to love. you are accountable for your actions and responsible for how you enact them, when, and who to direct them toward. empower yourself.

[qomrades]

the project has had like. 4 segments on t*ylor swift alone. must i recieve penance. can i experience rest.

[verdemoth]

tumblr live makes me aggressive

[scrawlingskribbles]

/giggles & kicks my feet & twirls my hair

[nachtwandeling]

.

[numbaoneflaya]

on my knees genuflecting sobbing ripping out my hair gagging grabbing hands and kissing the palms of my mutuals and followers for ovulating over this generic brand ass stupid fucking normie otome game man. Rolling around pathetically showing my belly with eyes so big and wet

[consciouschunkofmoss]

.