#it looks messy because i used the cheapest pen i could find

[fruitmenace]

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈✨

[tangledstarlight]

julie’s ready for a year away from home, studying and trying to refind the magic in music. luke’s about to start on a summer tour around europe opening for a band. they meet one night, sparks fly and emotions run hight. now they’ve just got to try and see if they can maintain a long distance friendship.

DAYS GO BY AND SEASONS CHANGE (LETS TRY AGAIN NEXT WINTER)

trigger warnings!! swearing and mentions of death (julies mum)

also on ao3 –– [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | extras 1 & 2 ]

autumn

There was a parcel waiting for her at the school's little post office building. It wasn’t a very big box, about the size of a shoe box, if she had to guess. It was just a little too big to fit in her bag at least. The handwriting on the label was hard to read, the ‘j’ in her name looking more like a ‘t’ and her last name practically blurring together. Julie suddenly understands why the girl working behind the desk had taken so long to find it and looked so unsure when handing it over.

Julie thinks back to her last call with her dad, tries to remember if he’d mentioned sending her anything. But it’s definitely not her dads writing or Victorias, and Carlos’ is messy but never this bad. It’s only when she puts it down on her desk when she’s back in her dorm room that she notices the postmark from France.

Which explains the who of it all, but not the what or the why.

With a frown, Julie tears the brown paper away and unfolds the flaps of the plain cardboard box that’s waiting for her. There’s a folded sheet of paper on top of something wrapped in grey tissue paper and she picks it up, carefully unfolding it.

Julie,

You gotta get back into music when you’re ready to, not before and not for anyone else. But, for whenever you do, I thought you might like these. And if you never do, you can always use them for school notes or something.

See you soon.

Luke x

She holds the note for a moment, staring at the words as if they’ll stop her heart from racing the way it is, because she’s pretty sure she knows what’s hiding under that tissue paper now. Biting her bottom lip Julie puts the note to the side and picks up the gift, gently peeling away the sellotape until she’s faced with two soft notebooks.

The first one is dark purple, soft faux leather with a cluster of stars embossed in the top right corner and the words ‘shine bright’ in silver lettering in the opposite bottom corner. Slowly, as if in a trance, Julie runs her fingers over the cover, opens to a random page to see the clean lined pages made of the thick sort of paper that you know won’t tear easily.

The second notebook is a dark blue, but this one has little music notes stamped in the corner. There’s no words or phrases written on this cover and for that she’s thankful because anymore words of encouragement might push her to the edge. She puts the two notebooks down on her desk, side by side.

Sitting back in her chair, Julie simply looks at them for a moment. Let’s herself think about how she feels about them. Because this is more than just some pretty notebooks and a kind message. She wonders if Luke knows, if he realises what that they might mean. But he must. She’s told him all about her struggles with music, how she’s lost that spark that wanted nothing more than to sing and play and write.

And he’d understood it. He’d got it. He’d also told her she was magical when she played, something she tried not to think too much about, but still remembered.

And he clearly remembered her mentioning once, in passing, how her favourite type of notebook are the ones that are slightly flexible, but feel solid when you hold them. She’s going to try not to think too much about what that means too. 

Her fingers slowly trace over the lettering on the purple notebook as she thinks over his note.

‘When you’re ready’, which is part of the problem really. Because Julie doesn’t know if she’ll ever be ready to play or write properly again without her mom.

But, she’d written with him.

The thought hits her suddenly and out of nowhere, a breath leaving her lips in a rush as she lets it settle within her. She’d been writing with him. She’d been sending him melodies over voice notes. She’d been scribbling lyric ideas in the margins of her work for weeks now.

Over facetime at 3am and on phone calls while she made herself lunch and silly little texts throughout the day. She’d been writing with him. She’d helped him finish songs without that all too familiar sense of missingmissingmissingmissing creeping in.

Tapping her fingers along the arm of her chair for a moment, she bites her lip, before shaking her head once and carefully wraps the notebooks back up in their tissue paper and puts them back in their box and pushes the whole thing to the back of her desk. Out of sight, out of mind. Sort of. 

It’s one thing to suddenly realise she’s been slowly edging her way back into music, it’s another to dive head first when she’s not sure if anyone will be there to save her if she goes too deep, too soon.

(It’s two days later and after a facetime call with her dad that she pulls the purple notebook out of the box, picks up a pen, crawls onto her bed and writes something that feels real for the first time in nearly five years.

She calls Luke at 2am her time and 3am his, tears on her cheeks and rasp in her voice from lack of use and asks if she can play him a song. It’s a little rough and the second verse feels unfinished and she rushes through the last chorus too quickly, but when she’s finished the last note she feels more centred then she has in years.

“That was-” Luke trails off, and she can hear him breathing and suddenly wishes she’d done this as a facetime call instead, so she could see his face right now. See what he was thinking, feeling. Instead she’s left with bated breath and chewing on her bottom lip.

“Fuck Julie, that was amazing,” he lets out a short laugh, light and breathy like he can’t believe something, “You’re amazing. And talented and beautiful and a goddamn star.”

He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, with so much conviction and surety in his words that for a moment, Julie believes him wholeheartedly.

“I think the second verse needs something, can you help me figure it out?” She asks after clearing her throat and brushing tears off her face. The simple ‘yeah’ she gets in answer makes her smile enough to think about the old notebooks carefully hidden in her suitcase and maybe finally looking at the songs she's avoided. )

//

It wasn’t until she’d started living in a different country, alone, that Julie realised how many different types of bread there were. Which was a weird thing to realise, she knew, but there were just so many to choose from. So many options. Too many options. She really hated having too many options. Decision making really wasn’t one of her special skills. And the longer she stood in front of the bread without Luke talking, the faster her thoughts seemed to loose all sense of focus. 

Holding her phone against her ear Julie picked up the closest loaf of whole wheat bread she saw, it was seeded and while she was sure Victoria would have had something to say about it, she didn’t. Seeded bread it was. Maybe next week she’d branch out and try the weird half and half down on the bottom shelf. God, she needed to get out of the bread aisle. 

Putting the bread in her trolley she pauses for a moment, head tilting to the side to try and hear if Luke had returned to his phone or if she was still on ‘hold’. His version of hold at least, which consisted of him saying ‘give me a minute’ and putting his phone down for much longer than a minute while he answered a skype call with his parents.

All she can hear is faint talking in the background, tone of voices but none of the words. Holding the phone with one hand and pushing the trolley with the other, Julie makes her way out of the bread aisle and mentally checks her shopping list in comparison to where she is in the store. She’s half way down the coffee and tea aisle, grabbing for the cheapest jar of coffee she can see, when a huff of air in her ear makes her jump. Clutching the jar close to her chest as she pulls the phone away for a moment and blowing out a breath. Luke’s already started talking when she puts it back, her mind filling in the blanks for what she’s missed.

“– that. Shit timing on their part. What were we talking about again?” There’s something off about his voice. She wouldn’t have noticed it a few months ago, but she can tell now, can hear the forced cheerfulness behind his words. And, if he wasn’t obviously forcing himself to sound happy, Julie would probably take a moment to appreciate she knows him well enough to know his different tones.

But there’s something wrong, and she wants to help him. So far, Luke’s been pretty quiet about his parents, so quite in fact that all Julie really knows about them is their names are Emily and Mitch, that they love him, they don’t get him and that the best way to describe their relationship is ‘strained’. All that she’d picked up from vague mentions and what Reggie had accidentally let slip.

Luke had helped her understand some of her feelings about her mom, listening to her cry at three in the morning, listened to her talk about her dad. She wants to do the same for him. She wants to make sure he knows she'll listen too. So she puts the coffee jar down and slowly starts walking out of the tea and coffee aisle while she talks.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asks, the call, the ‘strained’ relationship, all the unsaid emotions clearly at war in his head. It’s quite on the other end of the phone, all she can hear is his breathing and Julie starts to worry that maybe she’s wrong. Maybe he doesn’t want to talk about it, or maybe he does, but not with her. Not sure which option is worse, she’s just opening her mouth to take it back when Luke blows out a breath and a flat laugh that sounds loud in her ear.

“They just- they don’t get it. What music means. What I’m trying to do with it. They don’t get me,” there’s a pause where Luke laughs again, flat and hollow and so, so wrong, and Julie thinks that’s all he’s going to say, but then he starts talking again. It’s like he’s been shoving plates into a cupboard without stacking them and now he’s opened the door and they’re all crashing to the ground.

“And it’s like, they don’t even seem to try. Not really. They listen to me talk about all these shows we’re playing and how we’re making all these awesome connections all over the world and how we’ve started recording a fucking album. And they’ve gotta be able to tell I’m excited, because Alex is always saying I’ve got no subtlety, and I’m pretty sure I’ve even said in those exact words. That I’m excited. That this is a huge deal for us. And they just - they listen to all that and then they-” he huffs out a breath, and Julie can almost see him shaking his head, at his next words, “And then they ask about what I’m going to do when I get back home. If I’ve given college anymore thought.”

She doesn’t know what to say to that, because well. It is obvious how excited Luke is about the band, about the album they’re making, about music in general. You’d have to be blind not to see it, blind or just deliberately ignoring the obvious. And that’s even without ever having actually seen him play on a stage. If Julie could tell how good he is over staticy and unreliable voice notes and facetime calls, then anyone who’s seen him play live should know for sure.

“You know they’ve never seen us play?” He sounds small, and Julie wishes she was with him right now to give him a hug. 

That explained that, at least. They'd never seen them play. She’s standing in the fucking cereal aisle of a supermarket on a Wednesday afternoon, one hand gripping tightly to the handle of her trolley, and she can hear Luke sniff, wipe at his face and let out a wet laugh and it hurts. Julie thinks it’s almost worse than the hollow one and she feels tears spring into her eyes.

“Never?” She asks, because what else can she say? Her parents had never once missed an opportunity to see her play, she can’t even imagine standing on a stage again and her dad or Victoria not being in the audience for the first time.

“Nope,” he pops the ‘p’ and blows out a breath. “And I mean, I guess I could understand them not supporting the band and trying to push college on me if they’d ever actually fucking seen us. But they haven’t. It’s like they’ve just - they’ve decided we’re not good and that it’s all a waste of time. Without any evidence for it. Because, I- I don’t wanna sound egotistical here but fuck, we are good. We’re fucking awesome. And they won’t even consider that as a possibility. That this could work.”

“That’s their loss then,” is the first thing that comes out of Julie’s mouth, “Because I’ve only ever seen people's shaky phone videos of you guys playing and that was enough for me to know that you’re good. That you guys are amazing.”

They were more than good really, Luke was right, they were pretty fucking awesome, and if his parents couldn’t see that. Well that was on them.

“Yeah?” he sounds unsure for the first time, and Julie’s reminded that Luke might be a pretty confident guy but even confident people need a little reassurance sometimes. She relaxes her grip on the trolley’s handle and smiles a little.

“Yeah. And if they can’t see that Luke, if they don’t even want to try to see that, that’s on them. And they’ll either realise it soon enough and sort their shit out. Or they’ll try to deny it forever and end up regretting it.” She really hopes they sort their shit out, that his parents wake up and see that their son is gonna be a star, one way or another. And that they’ll want to be there for it, that he wants them there for it, to smile and clap and cheer for him.

“I can’t believe you’ve never seen us play,” his laugh this time is lighter, not quite up to his usual infectious quality, but maybe warmer. Softer. Julie doesn’t know how to describe it, but she wants to be able to hear it every day.

“I know, I’m a fake fan clearly.” Julie smiles, blows out a shallow breath as she blinks back the sudden tears that had found her eyes and lets him change the subject. She didn’t come to do her weekly shop expecting an emotional spiral in the cereal aisle of all places. The freezers with the ice cream might have been more appropriate.

“We’ll have to fix that when we’re back on the same stretch of land. Personal concert, just for you.”

The teasing tone is enough to make her roll her eyes and start moving again.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

//

“So we’re back in the UK on December 10th.”

The statement almost makes Julie choke on her drink. And she’s glad that she’d put her phone down while she’d reached for it so Luke couldn’t see her reaction. Theoretically, she’d known they were approaching the end of November, that the band had finished their tour last week and had been using their free time to do some exploring, that they’d be back in the same country soon.

That, despite all her worst thoughts and assumptions, they were still talking. They were friends.

Wiping her chin with her sleeve, Julie picks up her phone again, trying her best to keep her face neutral. There’s a chance Luke doesn’t even remember the sort of deal they’d made. It had been nearly twelve months ago and it had been late at night and they’d both been pretty drunk.

“Really?”

He just looks at her, an eyebrow slightly raised and she can see the way he’s biting down on his lower lip. He almost looks – Julie blinks, brow furrowing, he looks worried. Which she doesn't understand.

“Are you okay?” She asks, leaning forward to peer closer at her phone like it will be able to give her answers.

“Yeah, yeah I just –” Luke pauses and Julie watches as his eyes seem to circle around his screen (which is technically her face, her mind oh so helpfully supplies) in search of something, and whatever he finds seems to be enough because he blows out a breath and nods once, more to himself she thinks. “We’ll be in the same country again and you’re going home soon and I– I was wondering if you still wanted to try that um night again. Maybe just you and me this time.”

Julie isn’t sure she’s breathing. Her mind has gone blank and all she can hear is her heart beating and Luke is just looking at her. All wide worried eyes and bitten lips and curls escaping from his beanie.

He’d remembered.

And he was asking her – out?

That thought knocks her mind into action again. She opens her mouth to reply, to say something, anything, but all she can get out is a slightly strangled,

“I–” Because Julie had been so sure that if they’d made it to this point and were still friends that Luke wouldn’t want anything more then that from her. She’d cried on the phone to him, at least twice.

“I mean we don’t have to I was – it was just an idea y’know? But I mean it’s fine, we–” Luke starts, taking her silence for her trying to let him down gently and not just an internal freak out.

“No!” She doesn’t mean to shout it, but it comes out as a shout anyway, startling them both. Luke just looks at her, mouth still half open and looking confused. Julie has a flashback to seeing him look exactly the same way when she’d said she couldn’t kiss him and it almost makes her giggle. “I mean yes, yes, I want to – to – to see you. To try that night again.”

“You do?” She watches as his confusion morphs into relief and into a smile, lips tugging up and eyes brightening.

“Yeah,” she smiles back, it would be hard not to smile back at him. “So, December 10th. I’m free the weekend after?”

It takes them a while to make a plan, mostly because Luke keeps having to ask Alex or Bobby where they’re staying or when they’re in the studio or what day they’re flying home. And then they bicker over where to meet because ‘London is so cliche Julie! We’re not cliche.’ which she’s pretty sure their friends would disagree with, but Julie pulls up google on her laptop and they look through different cities and towns until they find one they both like the sound of.

Two hours later after they’ve said goodnight and shared giddy smiles, Julie lies on her bed staring at the ceiling and for the first time since that first night they’d met, she lets herself feel excited for what might happen between them.

[secret-rendezvous1d]

Could you do a blogmas piece around Alfie and Ellie like maybe a year forward from the miscarriage and maybe they have a baby now and are talking to their baby about the one they lost xx

Hello, hi!

Welcome to Blogmas 2020.

Many more blurbs, many more chats and a lot more festivities to come; my inbox willbe open all through December this year for blurb prompts for Blogmas so don’t feel afraid to pop in a prompt to get written for tis year; all I can say is that if you’re asking for a lengthy prompt, I’m not the right person right now, haha.

I’m welcoming absolutely anything for this year; any AU, any characters, any ideas.

Reblog, like, comment and share your thoughts with me. Please let me know what you think because feedback is always appreciated on here; much more appreciated now given that I’ve not written a lot in a long while. Please let me know what you think.

Enjoy!

* TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF MISCARRIAGE. *

“Peekaboo.”

Ellie looked up from her phone, her eyes adjusting from the bright December afternoon that had quickly turned into a dark and dismal December night, eyelids aching with every blink. She could see the faint silhouette of Alfie as he stood in the doorway to his bedroom, curls messy upon his head and a baggy jumper hanging down his upper body.

“You okay up here? Mum’s worried downstairs.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. I got a little tired,” she smiled.

The creaking floorboards signifying his gentle steps as he entered the room and walked towards the bed. His arm reaching out in the dark to flick on the bedside lamp on his bedside table, illuminating the bedroom into a deep orange light, causing shadows on the bedroom walls and revealing a cosy looking Ellie tucked under a blanket on his freshly-made bed.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“I closed my eyes for about five minutes but I couldn’t drift off,” she sighed softly, the bed dipping as her boyfriend climbed upon the mattress and laid beside her, elbow propping his upper body up and his head resting on his open palm, “I got bored so I went online.”

“Anything new?”

“Not really. The latest scandal, Twitter beef, all that kind of thing,” she gigged. A warming silence filled the room, his hand sliding underneath her jumper and cupping her hip, rubbing her skin with the pad of his thumb. Her phone, which had been sitting upon her clothed chest, fell from her body and onto the mattress as she rolled onto her side and nestled herself into his side. “Mum texted and wished us a Merry Christmas from Spain, tried not to make me jealous but, she did.”

Most Christmases, Ellie’s family would spend it abroad; somewhere hot, somewhere exotic and somewhere far from the dull and rainy English countryside they were used to for a good three hundred days a year. And, unlike this year, Ellie would accompany them with a suitcase full of bikinis and shorts and tank-tops that showed off the tan she’d been working on for the week - except the suitcase that she brought into Hampstead with her this year, to spend the Christmas period in Alfie’s childhood home, was full with thick jumpers and winter boots and the thickest socks to keep her toes from frosting on walks to the shops or on a wintery walk on a Sunday morning.  

“We’ll go next year,” Alfie grinned, pressing a kiss to her hairline, “I promise, we’ll jet off before Christmas and spend the day under the Spanish sunshine.”

“Don’t,” she whined, hiding her face into his chest.

“You make it sound like you hate being here,” Alfie laughed, “you live in a dull and rainy city for most of the bleedin’ year anyway so don’t you go complaining to me.”

“I’m not,” she huffed, shoving his chest with her fist and frowning up at him, “I love being here and I’m grateful for being here. Mum said it was best I spent this time with you, anyway, and I agreed because I couldn’t not take up the opportunity to see you for such a long while.”

Alfie cooed cheekily and brought her closer.

The bedroom silence brought all kinds of noises to their ears. Persephone was heard irritating Rose as they finished wrapping the last of the presents they’d hidden in their suitcases; Darcy could be heard playing ‘pat-a-cake’ with Persephone’s giggling baby; Harry could be heard grumbling outside because it was far too cold and far too late into the month to be putting Christmas lights up around the porch and YN could be heard encouraging him to hurry up so he could come inside and warm up with a cup of tea and a homemade mince-pie that she’d been slaving away over, that Ellie had started helping her with before she took time out and disappeared upstairs for a sleep.

Ellie took the time to really think about the year they’d had.

University had been a rocky start but she’d settled down just as well as she expected, met the friends she grew close to over the last few months and she gained a new routine that slowly became one of her favourite routines. She learnt how to cook ‘cheap uni meals’ and found her specialties in the cheapest food found in the corners of the cupboards, she found her alcohol tolerance and she found that when she was away from home,  she was a nightmare waiting to happen - and she rather liked that.

University had also started the journey of a long distance relationship that she hadn’t wanted to experience for a while - not with who she expected but with who she didn’t want to be apart from; her parents. She enjoyed being with Alfie, staying at his dormitory for most of her nights in the week and disappearing before he woke up for his own schedule to get to her morning classes, but she hated the fact that she wouldn’t see her mother making breakfast at the counter in the mornings or see her father at the kitchen table with the newspaper and a cup of coffee in his hand as he munched on toast before he set off for work. She became independent, spending most of her days in front of her computer and surrounded by notes and coloured pens until the early hours, running on cups of coffee and Redbull until she could feel herself waking up.

But, University had also started off as a fresh start for the two of them; having been a part of such a story as teen pregnancy, they had also been a part of a teenage miscarriage and it wasn’t something they took as easy as they wanted to take it, given the reasons why it wasn’t a good idea for them right now. Finding out she was pregnant before she was due to part ways in London and start her four-year course at University, and having it torn away from them, well... it was something they didn’t ever think about in the rush of excitement of a new chapter to their lives. A baby they would have spoilt rotten and taken everywhere with them to prove to everyone they could still parent and keep track of their lives. A baby that would have been the apple of their eyes, of everyone’s eyes, that would have brought joy to such a time in their lives.

“We would have had a baby to spoil this year, you know?”

“I know,” Alfie hummed, his heart aching because it had been a long while since he last thought about the possibility of being a father, “imagine that, Ells.”

“It’s not fair, is it? We would have been such good parents to our little bean,” she whispered, her voice cracking and her eyes burning with the refusal to not let her tears dribble down her cheek, “they’d have been spoiled rotten this year. Your dad would have been all over them, too. Seff’s little one would have a cousin to play with. Christmas would have been so different to what it’s like now.”

Alfie’s own eyes felt like they’d been slit with paper and he discreetly brought his thumb up to wipe his eyes, disguising it as a scratch to the curve of his cheekbone.

“We’ve got so much more time to have a little bean of our own though, baby. So much more time.”

“But I wanted them, Alfie. I wanted them.”

“I know,” Alfie moved his body and Ellie took that as a sign to sit up, leaning against the headboard of his bed and watching him as he twirled on his bum to look at her, “and we won’t ever forget them, okay? Our future babies, they’ll know all about them. And we’ll always celebrate them and think of them at Christmas and we’ll do everything we can do make them proud of us,” he smiled, linking his fingers with her fingers and squeezing her hand tightly, “they’ll be with us, guiding us to do the right thing, every day of our lives.” 

[futurewriter2000]

Coffee addicted

A/N: So this imagine has been in my drafts for so long but that is becuase I have been writing it for so long and I just wanted to make it perfect and even though I don’t like it as much as I do some of my fics I still think the idea is good and all of that. I really hope you guys like it and enjoy.

PAIRING: George Weasley x Muggle!reader

TAGS:  @siriusly-loves-snuffles, @slither-in-a-half, @nadinissavage, @shadyladyperfection, @geeksareunique, @ashkuuuu, @xinyourdreamsx, @maralisa124, @loserslytherpuff, @chloe-geoghegan1, @musekala, @moonysmilkshake, @crispyfrenchfrieschrusis, @unicorn-sparkles123, @queenofravenclaw05, @redhead-weasley, @fashionlive15, @quokkatrash, @bennie-badeend, @sly-vixen-up2nogood, @rosegoldquintis

(REQUESTS ARE CLOSED)

XX

It was another one of those days. Those dark days where he couldn't sleep. Torturous days where his other half kept reappearing, sometimes smiling and laughing with him and sometimes laying on the ground, cold and pale. He couldn't stop thinking about him. He could never stop. Not even after a year he still felt cold and alone.

That is why he wasn't home. He wasn't at the apartment he used to share with his brother. It just didn’t feel home without him. Nothing ever felt the same without him. Not the warmth that came from the fireplace, nor the comfortable sofa they came up with the ideas on and not even the sunlight that shone through the windows in the enormous living room. It was cold and dark.

So he walked the night, the streets of the Muggle world. It's better there. Nobody knows him and nobody stops him to ask how he was holding up.

Here, he was just a muggle. He was a person and only that.

So as he gazed up at the stars, thinking about his other half looking down on him, probably thinking he was being sappy, he simpered but the moment his mouth curved into a smile a girl appeared out of the corner and bumped right into the man.

"Oh my god. I am so sorry. " you quickly apologized, dropping the map from your hands and looking up at the boy.

"It's okay. I'm sorry. I should have been watching where I was going. " he smiled awkwardly, bending down to pick up the map you were struggling with.

" No, trust me. It is not your fault. " you reassured him, sending him another smile. " I have been wandering these streets for about 15 minutes and I think I am even more lost than before. "

Stretching his smile into a beam, he ran his finger through his red hair and chuckled. " You're not from here, are you? "

"Is it that obvious? "

" The accent gave you up. " he grinned and lifted the map in his hands. “ And the map.”

" Oh..that. " you smiled and took the map from his hands. " Anyways, since you are from around here, might telling me where to find the cheapest motel. "

" Yeah. It's just a few streets down. Don't worry, you can't miss it."

You turned around with your gigantic backpack on your shoulders almost knocking him off his feet. " Oh. Well, crap. " you cursed, narrowing your eyes at the distance and seeing a big sign few blocks down. " That's for not wearing my glasses. " you smiled at him and started backing away. " Anyways thanks for the help......"

" William. " he replied, waving at you.

" Nice to meet you, William. I'm (y/n). " you shouted back, almost falling over your feet before awkwardly smiling at him. "I'm fine! I'm fine."

He chuckled, shaking his head at you. A muggle, completely new to this world. New to his world to say the least. Due to the dark night, he couldn't see you but he knew you must have looked beautiful. To who else would that adorable laugh belong to. And that smile, that smile was gorgeous as well. It was the only thing that kept pondering in his head all the way home.

The memory kept pondering in his head the whole next month and he felt lighter, better. He felt like he should at least have done something to see you one more time. Get your number or walk you to the motel.

Ron, who has been helping him around, hasn't seen George crack a smile in a long time. There was still no joking but he was glad to see him smiling again.

Until the night came again. A terrible nightmare that made him walk back to the window and gaze upon the stars. A tear wanted to escape his eyes but he couldn’t. He couldn’t cry anymore. It was just a big sad hole in the pit of his stomach that wanted him to at least force himself to cry. To let it all out. 

But all of a sudden you appeared in his mind.

' (y/n). ' he thought, saying it out loud and remembering your smile.

He knew he should have used his real name but Bill didn't use his so why should he? Why should he be the sad, twinless brother while Bill gets to have such a wonderful life with his gorgeous wife and daughter? 

So he decided to walk the night again. To get some fresh air and clear his head but honestly, he kept roaming the night, hoping he might run into you.

But nothing happened. No smile, no giggle and no girl with the name of (y/n). Nothing happened until he was walking down the empty streets of London and looking for an open coffee shop. He was exhausted but he didn't want to sleep. Not tonight at least. 

He entered the only coffee shop with a light on, punching the bell a few times.

Nobody came. There were only a few groups of friends and drunks at the tables. Irritated, he punched the bell a few times until he became impatient and continued to punch it nonstop.

"I'm coming! Geez!" A familiar voice came from the back, causing George to turn his frown into a beam. A girl, your height and your messy (y/h/c) hair walked from the back of the shop, hair in a low ponytail while a few strands fell from your barista hat. The mascara was a little smudged under your eyes and the clothes you were wearing were overloose and covered with coffee stains.

Not even looking up at the man, you grabbed a pen and a cup. " How can I help you? "

" How about a direction to the cheapest motel in London?" He smiled and you quickly looked up at the familiar voice.

" William. " you stretched a smile, putting down your cup and taking off the stupid barista cap, throwing it somewhere in the back and trying to fix your hair. “ Uhm, wha- what are you doing here?”

He looked so much more handsome in the light. Stocky, tall and lovely brown eyes. Few freckles with matching ginger hair. " Hello, (y/n). I don't know you worked here."

" Well, my dreams are finally coming true. Becoming a barista was always a passion of mine. " you spoke sarcastically, earning another chuckle from him. " So what can I get you, Will? Can I call you Will? I mean it kind of feels wrong saying it-"

"Will is fine." He spoke softly, looking up at the menu and reading the orders.

That gave you a perfect opportunity to observe the man. He had a gorgeous smile. So bright and lovely just as his laugh. What made you more keen on your attention was his left ear. He didn't have one.

" I'll have a vanilla cappuccino." He looked down on you, catching you in your action and causing you to blush.

" Right! " you exclaimed awkwardly, searching for the cup you placed down before. " Capilla- I mean vanilla cappuccino coming up."

" How much?" He chuckled, reaching for his wallet before you stopped him.

" Oh, no, no. It's on me. It's the least I can do for the man who helped me. " you smiled, writing Will on the cup and filling it in a creamy mix of milk and coffee.” Here you go. “ you gave him the cappuccino, smiling. “ And thank you again. “ 

“ Thank YOU. “ he smiled, lifting up the cup and walking out the doors. 

‘ (y/n). ‘ 

Now, he can finally put a beautiful face to a beautiful name because just like you, he has been observing you as well. From the corner of his eye, as he pretended to read the menu, he caught your beautiful features and he was right; you were beautiful.

----

He became your favorite customer. He didn’t miss a day of his coffee. Mondays and Tuesdays was an expresso, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays was a latte, Saturdays was a strawberry and vanilla tea while Sundays were usually a hot choco. 

It was a routine but there came days where he would ask for a vanilla cappuccino. It happened twice, maybe three times a week but when he ordered it, you knew something was wrong. To be honest, there came days where you wanted to ask him about it but you couldn’t let your curiosity ruin the relationship the two of you had. 

“ Good morning. “ his voice was cheerful and loud, as it was unusual for a Monday morning. 

“ An expresso? “ you smiled, reaching for a cup. 

“ Actually give me two, my brother is being grumpy without his morning coffee.” he smiled and you turned around with a smirk. 

“ A brother? I didn’t know you had one of those. “ 

“ A pack of them actually. And the coolest sister might I add. “ 

“ And what is Mr. Grumpy’s name? “ you held up a cup and marker. 

“ Ron. “ he smiled. “ But Grumpy will be fine. “ 

“ Alright. “ you smiled, writing down the name and filling it with coffee, both of the cups before giving them to George. “ And have a nice Monday. “ 

“ Likewise, madam.” he bowed and exited the coffee shop.

---

He entered the shop, smiling and climbing the stairs to find Ron. “ Honey! I’m home! “ he shouted, finding his brother packing up the new toys. “ Brought you some coffee. Thought it might cheer you up a bit.“ 

“ The hell have you been, George. “ he got up, grabbing the coffee from his hand before grabbing another box. “ You’ve been gone for twenty minutes. “ 

“ It’s a whole new world out there, Ronikins. Had to go explore it. “ 

Ron turned around at his sudden change of mood, taking a sip of his coffee. “ Oh, this is some good stuff. Where did you get it? “ 

“ Up and down, here and there.” he wiggled his eyebrows at him.

“ Uh-um. “ he threw him a suspicious look before leaning back on the desk and taking another sip. “ Speak. “ 

“ Okay, there is this girl.” he smiled, throwing himself on the chair and giggling. 

“ A girl? “ another voice entered the room, revealing a beautiful young lady with a few bruises on her arm. 

“ Ginny? What are you doing here? “ Ron asked but was completely ignored by her. 

She sat down next to George and smiled. “ Who is this girl? “

“ She is so gorgeous Gin. “ George swooned, not believing the words he spoke out loud right now. “ She has this smile that just makes me smile. And an adorable laugh that just makes me want to kiss her. “ 

“ Than why haven’t you asked her on a date yet? “ 

The question got him thinking. Why didn't he ask her on a date yet? Maybe because she doesn't know about the wizarding world. Or maybe it was because he was not ready. Not ready to love someone, someone who he might love more than his brother. A brother he has lost.

" I can't."

"You can't?" Both Ron and Ginny spoke together, a shocked expression on both of their freckled face.

" I can't." George got up and walked through the door.

He walked slowly as the night crept in. This time he didn't walk the streets of the Muggle world. He walked the path to his brother.

He knelt down, looked at the gravestone for just a moment before glancing down on the grass.

"Freddie...I miss you." He spoke glumly, his finger playing with the grass. " I miss you quite a lot but I know you're here. I know you watch over me...and all of us." He simpered, fell back on the ground so that he sat opposite of his brother's gravestone. " And if you are watching over me then you probably know about her. The girl in the coffee shop. (Y/n) is her name." His simper turned into a smile. "Isn't it just a lovely name?"

' (Y/n) with lovely (y/e/c) eyes and the way, they glow up. The way they match her smile and the way they lurk around whenever he decides to sit and read a book.' He thought, smiling foolishly at himself.

' You're such a git, Georgie.' He thought of his brother's voice in his head, almost as he was there. 'You like her and here you are, sitting like a fool and talking to a ghost.'

"I know."

'Than what are you doing?'

"She's a Muggle, Freddie."

' Bollocks! She is a muggle. You are bloody right, George Weasley should never date a Muggle. Oh dear god no.'

"Okay, I get your point."

But there was nothing now. Not a single voice in his head that could reply to him back. The only thing he knew right now was, what the hell was he doing sitting here and talking to a ghost?

So he ran. He ran into the Coffeshop, stumbling over and dodging Muggles until he was back in the coffee shop.

Though you weren't there. Not in your usual spot, nor any other table. Where were you?

"Hello, hi." He spoke to a girl behind the counter, her barista hat on and one hell of a sad expression.

"What can I get you?" She spat out.

" Might telling me where (y/n) is?"

" She went home. Probably pack or something."

"Pack?"

"Yeah. She's leaving tomorrow."

Leaving? You can't be leaving? What about - you can't.

'' Wha- When? '' George realized his tone was desperate, something he hasn't heard in a long time since his brother's death.

'' I don't know, Red. You ask me too many questions.'' She turned around, leaving him behind in his own desperation.

He ran his hands through his hair, over and over again, pondering the thought of how to find her. Running back to the girl, he put his charming smile on his face and leaned on the counter, calmly this time.

---

You huffed, placing another T-shirt on the pile. '' I hate this.'' You grumbled, turning around, leaving for the living room and putting your hair in one shit of a bun. Grabbing the basket of unfolded clothes, you heard your back crack and you huffed once again, lifting the basket and heading back to the bedroom. '' I really hate this.''

Back down the hall, to the living room, this time heading towards the kitchen for a glass of water, you opened the cabinet to reach up for the glass but was interrupted by a knock instead.

'' Who is it? '' you shouted, closing the cabinet and walking towards the door.

'' It's Ge- I mean Will.'' George replied, hating to call himself after his brother.

'' Shit! '' you started to panic, looking in the mirror and seeing how awful you looked. Shit of a bun, sweaty top, unshaved, shorts. '' I'll be there in a minute! '' you bolted into the bedroom, putting down your bun and changing into longer sweatpants that fell down your hips perfectly. You rumbled through the clothes, looking for a nice sporty shirt but your ginger cat was getting in the way. '' Get lost! Shoo!'' you shooed him and the cat ran off while you ran back, putting your hair in a tight ponytail and opening the door.

' Fuck! I forgot to put deodorant!' you thought, hoping you didn't smell like a pig as he stood in front of you with those gorgeous brown eyes.

'' Hey.'' You smiled. '' Come in.''

''Hi.'' He beamed, coming in your apartment and try to pass you in a tight hall, causing the two of you to be closer by only an inch. '' Oh wow, this hall is small.'' He smiled awkwardly, trying to walk past you.

Blushing, you closed the door and reached your hand for his coat '' Here, let me.''

» Thanks.« he replied and walked into the living room.

It was small, old with clothes scattered all over the floor but you could still see it was quite a cozy apartment.

» Sorry about the mess. I didn't know I had this many clothes until I decided to clean my wardrobe.« you laughed awkwardly, walking into a messy living room and picking up the clothes from the ground. 

» I don't want you to leave.« he blurted out, turning around so you were faced with his back instead of those gorgeous brown eyes. He ran his hand down his face thinking of what to say to you after what he just said.

» Leaving?« you quivered, throwing the clothes in the basket and leaning on the kitchen table with your arms crossed. » What do you mean leaving?«

» Isn't that why you're packing? Cleaning your wardrobe?« he turned around, catching your confused gaze.

Uncrossing your arms, you walked back to the living room and grabbed the clothes from the sofa. » I told my boss I need some time off. I haven't cleaned this place since I moved in. I work every day and have no time for myself. I told her I want some time off.« you explained, walking back to the kitchen table and throwing all the clothes in the basket which sat on the chair.

And then it suddenly hit you.

» William?« you turned around, your voice soft and shy. » Wha- I mean, did you come here to prevent me from leaving? Or-.« you started to blush at your own words.

» George.« he spoke, lifting his gaze to meet your eyes and simpering. » My name is not William, it's George.«

» What?« you replied, this time louder and with a sharp edge in your tone. You crossed your arms once again, leaning back on the kitchen table as you did before and glaring at him.

»Don't be mad. Please.« he took a few steps towards.

» Well, I am mad, Will- I mean George.« you corrected yourself, uncrossing your arms. » I'm mad because I found myself liking you and now I just found out you've been lying to me for months.«

» You like me?« he smirked, taking another step closer so the two of you were only an inch apart. His hand took a hold of yours, causing your fingertips to burn from his touch and your cheeks turn red.

Avoiding his gaze, you kept your eyes on the ground and tried to brush off the burning feeling on your fingertips. » That's not the point.« you moved away, finally being able to breathe and look him in the eye. » Why did you lie?«

» I-I..« he sighed, took a deep breath then looked away. » More than a year ago, I lost my brother in a war.« he paused, turning around and walking to sit on a sofa. »  He was everything to me. Literally everything.« he smiled and finally looked up at you.

You softened your expression, uncrossed your arms and continued to listen.

» The worst part was that he was my twin which meant I shared my whole life with. It's not that I had to share my life with him, it's the fact that I wanted to. He was a nutter, I'll tell you that, but he was my nutter and my brother and my best friend. And I know my siblings kept trying to make me feel better after I've lost him, but they never truly understood my connection with Fred. And after Fred died, everybody kept asking me how was I holding up and that he's in a better place and all of that but honestly I just wanted them to leave me alone.« he kept his eyes on the ground, glancing at you from time to time but as he did you weren't in the kitchen, leaning back on the kitchen table. You were sitting beside him and held his hand on your own. » I met you that day after I had another of those dreams. Dreams of him. And he was laughing with me after we blew up that new project of ours for our shop. So, when I woke up smiling, I just felt sad immediately because he was gone and I was still here. And I went for a walk and I bumped into you. » he smiled wider and brushed his thumbs over the back of your hand. » And you were new and you didn't know who I was or who my family was or that I lost a brother and I needed someone to look at me normally, Not from pity or grief. So, I introduced myself as William.«

» And the vanilla cappuccino?« you asked out of the blue, though you pretty much knew what it was about after hearing his story.

» You noticed, didn't you?« he asked and you simpered.

» I'm a barista, of course, I noticed.«

» Yeah.« he chuckled. » Whenever Fred and I got into a fight, which was rare but it happened, mom made us vanilla cappuccino as some kind of peace offering between us. I don't know how it worked but we were kids and vanilla cappuccino somehow always made us forget about the fight. So whenever he was sad or I was sad, we made each other a vanilla cappuccino and it somehow got better.«

» Oh.«

» Don't feel sorry. Please don't. I get that from my family enough as it is.«

» I'm not.« you denied and he chuckled.

» Yes, you are. You're just trying not to.«

» Look.« you took his hands into yours. » I'm upset that you lied to me about who you are but I'm glad you told me the truth. To be honest I like George more than I like William.«

There was silence in the room now, only your cat's paws hitting the floor as she approached George. 

» Shoo.« you tried to shoo your cat away but he only crawled into George's lap and purred.

George removed his hands from your hold and started petting the cat, scratching behind his ears and down to his neck until he found it's collar. » Aren't you just an adorable little kitty.« he cooed and the cat turned on her back so he could scratch his belly. » What's her name?« he asked, placing his both hands on each side of cats head and massage it.

» Well…it's a he.« you chuckled and let your fingers wander to the cat's fur. » And his name is Jack.« you smiled and took George's hands from the cat and to your own hold.

He looked at you, grinning and letting one hand place itself on your cheek. Leaning in, he pressed his lips onto yours and started to kiss you softly. You smiled into it and let your hands run through his messy, dense, ginger hair. That was until a little furball at your feet started meowing and scratching both of your legs.

The two of you pulled away, chuckling and looking down at the cat. You smiled at George, giving him a soft peck on the lips and playing with his hair. » Anything else I should know?«

He smiled, prepared to give you a clear no but then there was something he clearly couldn’t hide from you. » Do you believe in magic?«

[kichimiangra]

For poor artists...

Okay so weeks ago I came across a post (That I can’t seem to find now...) that roughly went like this: “All you tumblrites with depression need some hobbies to help with depression because hobbies help.”

“Not everyone has the privilege of being able to afford hobbies!  Hobbies cost money!”

“You don’t need expensive stuff to draw!!!  Draw on scrap paper!  Napkins!  Go to the dollar store!”

Now for weeks since seeing that post it keeps coming back to me... almost hauntingly.  It’s not that I can’t comprehend that people can’t afford expensive art supplies, on the contrary I very much remember being like that!  But today you poor artists have access to something wonderful that I didn’t growing up:

Under the cut let me tell you a tale about a wonderful place that could have granted my wish for art supplies growing up!

And that place is called Wish.com!

(Disclaimer #1: Almost everything I’m talking about here are supplies that I myself have personally purchased and tried using AND STILL DO!)

(Disclaimer #2:  I don’t believe that good supplies make a good artist, but good supplies can help make a good artist better/ make their life easier!)

Now growing up I did not come from a wealthy family.  I had 3 siblings, all of us close in age so we were kids/ teens together.  My father worked in a warehouse and my mother was a stay at home mom because it was impossible to find an affordable babysitter considering that My older sister had trouble in school with bullies and a reading disorder, I was an un-diagnosed autistic devil-child, my younger sister had severe asthma and was always sick, and my younger brother was deaf.  We all kinda needed special attention.  As you can imagine we didn’t have a lot of money, and as I got older and more Artish meant I had to make due with what I could get.  That didn’t mean I went without, just often had to save and wait for what I could use, which followed me to adulthood.  Had Wish.com been around in my teens it would have been a godsend and I’m patient enough to wait a few weeks to get my order!

God I love these things!  These ball point pens with 10 colors are what I use for story boarding comics and note taking!  I used something like these when I was in college because notes were much easier to organize and read when color coded!

“But KC!  I like to sketch with blue/red pencil first!” Lookie here!  Colored pencil lead refills in all sorts of colors!  Cyan works great and so does the red!

Now I didn’t know they came this small until recently but I LOVE this 0.3mm Mechanical pencil!!!  The lines are so thin and small!!!  I have literally never seen anything smaller than a 0.5mm in a store!

Now I like mechanical pencils for their consistent lead size as you draw! They’re just a click away from being back to sharpness!  But you may want a 0.5mm and a 0.7mm and this 3pc set is soo sleek looking!  It’s good to have a 0.9mm too! I used to have a spongebob .16mm pencil I stole from my brother but it went missing!  I have never found another one that HUGE again! T_T

Speaking of pencils this nice little set comes with a mechanical pencil+lead+a white plastic eraser.  They work great though the eraser is not my personal fav...

THESE are my favorite erasers to use!!!  Not only are they cute colors but they’re a good consistency!  They’re softer than a plastic eraser but a bit harder than a gum eraser so they feel really good to erase with and do a good job!!!

If you really like working with Pencil you can prolly just get a cheap #2 pencil at a dollar store or a box of them at Walmart, but I Really like the feel of a 2B pencil!  This lead holder comes with some replacement lead too so you don’t have to worry about sharpening it to nothing!!

This set of Graphite sticks are a little messy but it comes with all kinds of lead hardness and you can use an x-acto blade to sharpen them to different size points!!!

This is a pretty basic but nice sketch set and has a lot of size options to pick and buy from!!  I’ve used the small 32 set and it has everything you need if you love pencil art!

FINE LINERS!!!  I have a story about Fine liners! Internet shopping hadn’t quite taken off yet for my family and the only store I knew that sold Microns/Fabercastelle fine liners was a local store.  They didn’t sell them in singles so the cheapest set you could buy was a $15 Faber Castelle set with 5 pens (Sm/Med/Lrg/Brush/Chisel).  Now $15 doesn’t sound too bad until you remember my family was poor.  How poor?  Poor enough where my sister and I would each get one of these sets for Christmas and store one away while sharing the other set in hopes of getting them both to last until June where I could get another for my birthday that will hopefully last BOTH of us until next Christmas.  I noticed when you buy Microns off of Wish.com you have a 50/50 chance of getting a knock off brand but these ones here worked pretty good for their price!

“But KC!  Not only am I a poor artist... I’m a poor HIPSTER artist! I wanna kick it OLD SCHOOL!” WELL This is a nice cheap little set of dip pen nib holders and nibs!  The pink one is cute but I have the black one.  I personally love my Cork nib holder more but for plastic this one is decently comfortable to hold and a good price!  I find Nibs are a bit of “You get what you pay for” but if I was displaced into an apartment somewhere without any of my stuff and I wanted some dip pens this set would do just fine!  Dip pens take some skill to get used to so even if you want to just cheaply try some this is a good set to start with!  And if you want better nibs later on they fit right in these holders!

I also have a very decorative (but functional) glass dip pen!  Unlike the metal nib dip pens above the glass one doesn’t really allow for a lot of variation in line weight, but if you want the line work to stay a consistent size then this one is pretty good for that, though depending on your paper it can bleed a bit... once again takes some practice to get used to it.

Now you’re gonna need some ink for those dip pens!  I haven’t really gotten to try any black ink from Wish.com because I have a few bottles of black ink that I keep getting for birthdays and Christmas and such, so I haven’t run out and gotten to try a new brand.  COLOR ink on the other hand...  These little 5oz bottles have gold sparkles in it!! And they look nice to boot!  They can get a little expensive because on THIS particular order you can only order them one at a time (And pay shipping for each bottle) but you really don’t need all 24 bottles as a lot of the colors look similar to each other.

Here’s a sketch of Keira Hagai from Jak and Daxter along with the supplies used to draw it (Notice the ink, glass and black nib pens and the 0.3mm pencil.  The only thing used not from Wish.com is the feather sweeper I made from sculpey and chicken feathers.)

The ink doesn’t work great as paint though but you know what does?

PAINTS!  I didn’t buy this one but it’s a nice little affordable starter set with pallet and brushes!

Now I’m a bit snooty, I prefer to buy watercolor paints in tubes and an empty paint pallet.  The paint pallet I have isn’t THIS one specifically but this one is a bit nicer than the one I DO have and a bit cheaper as well!  (Mine doesn’t have a lid the folds out into a paint mixing area)(Now I wish I had this one!)(Maybe when my current pallet runs out of paint...)

If you use watercolor paints you’re gonna need some brushes!  This is a pretty good deal!  You get 12 brushes and get to pick either flat or round tip brushes!  They’re also not too shabby!

I use a set like this though!  They has a water reservoir in the handle so you squeeze the water out and onto the paint!  The reason I prefer these is I have a lot of pets and they like to get into mischief, so having a pallet that can be closed if I get up for a bathroom break or water that can’t be knocked over is a must for me!!

“But KC I like more... dry mediums...” Lucky for you colored pencils are all over the place on Wish.com!  You can get all kinds of different sets and sizes and some even have nice carrying cases too!  I haven’t bought any because I own a LOT of colored pencil sets already and don’t use them frequently...  I’ve also tried some chalk pastels from Wish that worked well enough on their own but the way I use them is grinding them into a fine powder and brushing them onto paper and that didn’t grind well...

And What’s art without PAPER!?!?  Wish.com is tripping paper!  Whatever is in your price range look around!  I can promise you you’ll find a sketch book or two within your budget!  Some even name brand sketch pads!

And now some miscellaneous stuff:

I LOVE binder clips!  Great way to keep all my paper together and in some places hang stuff up so I can stare at it a bit before continuing working on it!

I like art markers and not many truly can fill in the shoes left by Copic brand markers.  I have tried a handful of copic alternatives (And watched even MORE comparison videos by other people who own said markers.)  I feel like there is no such thing as a GOOD CHEAP QUALITY art marker.  There are lots of sets on Wish.com that (For their prices) are what I consider “Cheap enough to tinker with”  When I was in highschool back in 2007-9 I really really really wanted Copics and was resentful that I was poor and couldn’t get any.  I would get so angry when I saw 14 year olds on deviantart who drew like ‘14 year olds on devintart’ but had no less that two 72 sets of copics. I know, it was rather petty of me to be resentful of younger more fortunate artists... The trade off with my parents was that I would settle for Prismacolor markers, bought 1 per week with a 40% off coupon provided I did all my chores and kept my grades above failing.  That was the closest I ever had to an allowance.  Throughout the years I’ve settled with ‘Tinker Markers’ (Cheapish alternative markers) and Ohuhu, Prismacolor, and Touch New seem to be the better alternatives.  Just don’t go looking for a brush nib >.<!

MASKING TAPE!  Always good for taping things to other things!!  Unfortunately I feel like Walmart gives you bigger rolls for better deals so if it’s going cheap I’d say you don’t need tape from Wish...

Aaaah!  A light board!  And another long trip down memory lane!  Last October going into Inktober I noticed there were people throwing little fits about Inktober itself and if it’s okay to do it with a digital medium.  One persons comment stuck out (And echo’d in my brain) where they said (And I’m paraphrasing): “How am I supposed to focus on my ‘self improvement’ with traditional art if I just can’t draw from the anxiety of knowing that every pen stroke is permanent and I could completely ruin my drawing at any second without the CTRL+Z and layers!?!?!?!” To which my first knee-jerk reaction was: “Wow kid... I think you have waaaay more problems than inktober if your anxiety levels are THAT high that you can’t just accept an oopsie doodle and try again...” But then I do remember a time when I was like that.  In college I scheduled a really bad semester with too many classes, mostly art classes.  One was a classic Pen and Ink class which I did fear screwing up, not because of anxiety of failure but because I would have to start over on my homework, and that would take time from all my other homework.  Time I didn’t have.  I found a large sum of money on the ground ($100.00) one day, waited a month (Nobody claimed it), donated half to my local animal shelter (As is a karma thing in my family with ‘found money’) and used the other half to buy a light board (With a 40% off coupon.)  It was the size of a shoe box, thick and clunky, and didn’t get very bright, but it did what I needed it to.  If I screwed up on ink homework I’d throw a new paper over it and start again.  You can be cheap and use a window on a sunny day, but light boxes (or light boards now) are so affordable and sleek and thin and wish has a lot of them!  I have a cheapish but large A-Line tracing board that sits on my drawing table and fits well and honestly saves 40% of what anxiety I would have putting pen to paper (If I hadn’t been drawing freehand so long that I just don’t get that kind of anxiety over it)

If Wish.com was around when I was a teenager art supplies would have never been THAT big of a deal and I wouldn’t have had to ‘Carpool’ 3 fine liner sets per year with my sister!

Really, I know there will still be people out there who still can’t afford some of the things listed above, but if you have an inclination to try art whether it’s with pencils, paints, markers, pastels, ink, dip pens, fine liners, whatever you lean towards, Wish.com has a cheap affordable version that may not be the best quality out there on the market, but thinking back 15 years ago little KC would have loved to save up some money, order some new supplies, and wait a month for them to arrive so she could use them.

Once again most of the supplies listed above have been bought and used by myself.  There are some great materials at mostly affordable prices on Wish.com so if you are poor like Little KC was you probably know the patience of putting aside a dollar here and there and having to wait, or if you are well off but don’t want to spend too much on a hobby you haven’t tried yet and don’t know if you’d like Wish.com has you covered!

And if you’d like to, Reblog this for other poor artists so they know they don’t have to share their fine liners!

[assholemurphy]

The Poets Are Just Kids Who Didn’t Make It

Also on AO3

Stranger Things

Steve/Jonathan

Summary: Steve Harrington is an out of work actor who's just starting out and has agreed to let one of Nancy's friends photograph him for extra cash. Jonathan Byers is a broody, asocial photographer that just wants to finish he project. Steve isn't used to photo shoots and Jonathan isn't really used to people like Steve. But, Steve is hard to dislike, and Jonathan opens up to him about his reasons for his art and why he has to make it mean something. Steve thinks he's a little pretentious, but he's cute and honest, and really? Steve's a sucker for anyone that calls him beautiful.

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 7045

Warnings: Referenced Child Abuse, Reference Drug Use

Steve sat in the cab toying with his phone, double checking the address to make sure he had the right place. He did. He was over thirty minutes late and he didn’t think Jonathan would be pleased, but he wasn’t sure he was even going in. He knew nothing about the man waiting for him inside except his name and that he was a photographer and Steve was being paid a hundred bucks to let him photograph him for some project. He needed the money, sure, being an out of work actor wasn’t going to pay his bills. Rent was due in two days and the money from his last job was running thin, so he needed this, but staring up at the decaying building where Jonathan’s studio was made him feel a little bit nervous. What if he was some creep who was just trying to get him naked and then take advantage of him?

Granted, he had gotten a reference from his ex, who had apparently gotten her start modeling for this guy, so he doubted he was too much of a creep. ‘A bit asocial and shy, but otherwise nice’ had been the way Nancy had described him. So, he probably wasn’t some predator, and Steve had dealt with worse people who hadn’t come so highly recommended.

“You getting out? I’ve got other places to be, kid,” The cabbie spoke, gruff and tired, shaking Steve from his anxious thoughts. He was going in. He had to.

“Yeah, sorry.” Steve handed over a few bills and exited the cab, stretching as he looked up at the high rise. It looked like it had been built a couple centuries ago, but this district wasn’t that old, so it wasn’t ancient, just decrepit and crumbling. Not at all what he’d expected when Nancy had told him about the photographer that had launched her career. Apparently, he had connections and was somebody important here in LA, but if that was the case, why couldn’t he afford a better part of the city?

He took a deep breath and walked up to the front doors looked over the list of names above the speaker. There, fifth on the list, scrawled in fading felt pen, the label peeling ever so slightly from age, read ‘Jonathan Byers.’ That was the guy. He pressed the button and waited.

“Yeah?” A tired voice came from the speaker, crackling with static and slightly distorted.

“Uh, I’m Steve Harrington? I have an appointment with Jonathan Byers?” Steve answered.

There was no reply, but the door unlocked, so Steve assumed that meant he was supposed to go in. He took hold of the door’s handle and pulled, half afraid it would break off in his hand. It didn’t, and he entered the building. It was just as old and worn down on the inside as it was on the outside. The décor was dated at best and tacky at worst. The mailboxes looked antique and could have been considered pretty, in some odd way, but the metal was tarnished and two of the doors hung open on broken hinges. This was not the type of place Steve was used to going. Hell, he hadn’t even known places like this existed in LA. Even his apartment wasn’t this crappy, and it was the cheapest place he could find. Not that he was judging, okay, yeah, he was judging, but could he be blamed? This place was a wreck.

He shook his head as he passed the elevator, not really trusting it to carry him up four flights of stairs. He’d rather walk, even if it meant being a few minutes later than he already was. Aside from a newspaper and a few crumpled flyers, the stairs looked to be solid. It only took him a few minutes to climb them, and another two to find the right door. He let out a sigh and knocked, promising himself that if it looked shady, he’d make up an excuse to leave, even if it meant not getting paid.

“You’re late,” Jonathan greeted him as the door swung open. He stepped out of the way and ushered Steve through the doorway and into a room that didn’t quite fit the rest of the building. The walls were clean and white and covered with photographs and magazine articles that Steve assumed were about exhibits Jonathan had done. The room smelled of smoke and lavender incense, which was a nice change from the musty hallway. Camera equipment was scattered on top of a wooden table next to a half empty mug of coffee with a happy looking rainbow on it and a pack of cigarettes, lighter balanced on top. In one corner of the room there was a back drop, grey, plain, with a darker grey chair in front of it and a few lights positioned around it with a camera on a tripod in the middle. The room wasn’t very organized, but Steve figured it was more of an organized chaos than general messiness. Two over-stuffed, faded blue chairs were next to the table, but that was the only color in the room besides the mug. It wasn’t homey, but it was better than he had expected.

“Yeah, sorry. Traffic was a bitch.” Steve winced at how cliché that sounded. It wasn’t even a good lie. The truth was that he’d needed the full half hour to work himself up into even hailing a cab in the first place.

Jonathan only hummed in response and Steve doubted he cared enough to call him on the obvious lie.

Steve took a moment to take in the man before him. He was shorter than Steve, and his hair was fairly long and messy, but it framed his angular face quite nicely. Steve watched as he took a drag from his cigarette and blew the smoke out. He was attractive, Steve guessed, not what he’d expected, either. He wore a long sleeved black sweater, which Steve found odd, considering LA’s heat, but it fit his frame well. Dark wash jeans hung loosely around his waist, not purposefully loose, but more like they just didn’t quite fit right anymore. Steve frowned, wondering exactly how he could get away with dressing like that when the second Steve so much as forgot to wash his hair, somebody had a comment for him. It took him a second to realize he wasn’t the only one staring, but unlike his gaze, Jonathan’s was much more intense, looking at him like he wasn’t quite a person, but more a painting and he was deciding whether he’d look better above the mantel or in the hallway. It was a little unnerving, Steve was used to being looked at like he was an object, it came with the territory, but it didn’t feel like Jonathan meant to be rude, more like he just didn’t know how else to view him.

“Uh, so-”

“You can undress here or in the bathroom, whichever you’d prefer,” Jonathan told him, taking another drag.

Steve nodded and the nervousness was back. He wasn’t used to undressing in front of strangers. But, he’d agreed, and now he had to make good on that. “I’ll just- Uh, here’s fine, I guess.”

Jonathan looked him over once more before putting out his cigarette in an ash tray and starting towards his camera. He paid no attention to Steve as he began to fiddle with it. Steve figured that was his way of trying to give Steve some semblance of privacy.

Steve bit his lip, deciding once and for all that he was going to do this, and pulled his shirt over his head. He wasn’t sure where to put it, so he threw it over the arm of one of the chairs and kicked off his shoes, tucking his socks inside and unbuttoning his pants. He pulled them off and laid them with his shirt. He hesitated a second before ridding himself of his boxers, deciding that, well, Jonathan probably saw a lot of naked people, so he most likely wasn’t going to be a creep about it, nor was he likely to judge him too harshly, not as harshly as some of his lovers in high school had, anyway, so there was no point in being shy about it.

He was thankful that the room wasn’t cold like the last one was when he’d filmed his last unclothed scene. That had been quite uncomfortable and he’d been sure the whole time that he was going to catch a cold.

“Where do you, uh, where should I stand?” Steve asked, absentmindedly rubbing his arm. Shy, no, but still nervous. It wasn’t everyday he stood completely naked in front of an attractive man, especially one who was so focused on anything but him.

Jonathan looked up from the camera and suddenly Steve found himself on the receiving end of one of the most intense looks he’d ever gotten. Jonathan wasn’t appraising him this time, no, this time he was flat out staring. Well, Steve could work with that. Just a deep breath and turn on the charm, that always worked.

Steve smirked, “I know, I look good, right?”

“Don’t. Nancy said you’d do that. Don’t,” Jonathan stopped him in his tracks.

“Do what?” Had he done something wrong? He didn’t think so, but maybe Byers had a different opinion.

“That thing where you get nervous and act cocky because of it. You don’t have to impress me. I’m not here for your personality.”

“You just like me for my body,” Steve teased, not dropping the act. It was what he did when he got nervous, it was his way of controlling the situation.

Jonathan pursed his lips and looked like he was about to say something but thought better of it and simply pointed to the gray chair. “Sit.”

Steve wondered if he’d done something to piss Jonathan off, and before he could think better of it, he asked, “You mad at me or something?”

“I just don’t like fake people,” Jonathan shrugged.

Steve scoffed, offended, “I’m anything but fake.” He made his way over to the chair and dropped down into it, drawing up in on himself. He didn’t know what Byers’s problem was, but he could get over himself and his hashtag deep nonsense.

“You’re putting on a front because you feel like you aren’t in control of the situation. It’s fake confidence and it’s annoying. I didn’t ask you here because I wanted you to force yourself to flirt with me. And if it helps, you are in control of the situation. You tell me to stop, I stop. You want it to be over, it’s over. I’m not going to do anything you aren’t okay with, alright? I don’t know what Nancy has told you about me, but that’s not how I work,” Jonathan told him, frowning. He didn’t mind nervous, everyone seemed to get nervous when they were naked, but it just bugged him that Steve was pretending to flirt with him. He didn’t need that. Yes, Steve was pretty, and not just from an artistic standpoint, but he didn’t like the idea of Steve putting on an act for him. It wasn’t necessary, and, frankly, it was annoying.

“Alright.” Steve had to admit, it did make him feel better knowing that he was more in control of the situation than he’d thought. “And I’m not pretending.”

“You’re pretending to be some cocky little-”

“Well, yeah, but I’m not pretending to flirt with you.” As soon as he said it, he regretted it. Did he really just come on to Jonathan? After all his worry that Jonathan would come on to him? Way to be a hypocrite. That being said, of course, that was before he’d met him when he was still imagining a forty-year-old blading guy in sweatpants.

Jonathan wasn’t sure how to respond to that, but he felt his cheeks get hot. Well, that wasn’t what he’d expected from this encounter. He was pleasantly surprised, but it was a distraction and he didn’t have time for that. “Whatever, just, don’t sit like that.”

“How do you want me to sit?” Steve asked, not really sure how else to sit that wouldn’t put the spotlight on the fact that he was, well, naked.

“Normally. Just relax, okay.”

Steve shifted, trying to ignore the fact that he was naked and just sit like usual. It didn’t work and he sighed in frustration before trying again, knowing that no matter how he sat, he was still on display. Or maybe he should work with that. He was naked, that wasn’t going to change, but maybe he should stop trying to pretend he wasn’t and just-

“For fuck’s sake, it’s not a porn shoot, Harrington!” Jonathan snapped, frustrated.

“Well, what do you want me to do?”

“Sit naturally, like you would at home.”

“Oh, yeah, because I sit around my house naked all the time,” Steve snarked. This was awkward enough without Jonathan’s help.

Jonathan pinched the bridge of his noise, annoyed. This was usually easier. Usually, he had people who had already done a few photoshoots who knew what the fuck to do, but no, he couldn’t go with someone with experience, he just had to do what Nancy asked and help her friend. Her really hot friend who was obviously clueless about everything. “Here, just let me- I’ll show you, okay?”

“Fine.”

Jonathan made his way over to Steve before stopping and looking a little pained, “I’m going to touch you, okay? Is that alright?”

“Go for it.” Under normal circumstances, having a cute guy touch him while he was naked would be cause for celebration, but Jonathan looked so awkward about it that Steve doubted it would be much fun for either of them.

Jonathan nodded before placing his hand on Steve’s shoulder and gently shoving him back into the chair. “Turn so your back is against the arm of the chair.”

Steve did as instructed, letting Jonathan move him into place.

“Good. Now put you leg up. No, the other one. Yeah, like that. And your hand here.” Jonathan moved Steve’s hand to his lap and let it drop, not wanting to be inappropriate. “The point is to show the human body as a work of art, you know? But nobody’s gonna want to look at it artistically if all they see is your dick.”

“Fair enough,” Steve accepted it and covered himself as instructed. “Now what?”

“Now don’t look directly at the camera,” Jonathan instructed, walking back over to his place behind the camera.

“Where do I look?”

“Just anywhere but directly at the camera,” Jonathan told him with a shrug.

“Can I look at you?”

“Am I behind the camera?”

“Yeah?”

“Then no.”

Steve rolled his eyes but scanned the room, looking for anything interesting enough to stare at. He finally settled on a few pictures on the wall across from him. He couldn’t quite make out what they were, but they looked like buildings. Well, at least he knew Jonathan took photos of more than just naked people.

The camera clicked a few times before Jonathan came back to help him adjust his position once more before taking a few other photos. It felt like it took forever to Steve, who was doing his best to keep still and the effort clearly showed on his face.

“You can move, you know. You’re not a statue and I’m not going to yell at you if you move a bit. Just don’t start flailing about and you’ll be fine. The world won’t end if you move your arm a few inches,” Jonathan chuckled.

Steve smiled. He liked Jonathan’s laugh. It was honest and quiet. It struck him that, while Nancy had seemingly told Jonathan all about him, he knew very little about Jonathan. “So, uh, why’d you get into photography?”

“Hm?” Jonathan looked up and shrugged. “There’s so many moments that should be preserved. Life moves on and forgets them seconds after they happen. Sometimes things are worth immortalizing.”

“Like naked people.”

“No, like buildings falling down or broken things that look so surreal, so imperfect for just a moment until someone fixes them and the world goes back to turning without even noticing it was ever anything less than perfect. Those things.”

“So, broken things and collapsed buildings.”

“Chaos and ruin, society’s biggest flaws laid bare for any that care to look hard enough.”

“That’s deep,” Steve snorted.

“Shut up.”

“So, you like ruin.”

“I do.”

“Is that why you chose this building? Because in all honestly, it should probably be condemned,” Steve said, letting Jonathan adjust him once more.

“Probably. And yeah, it was a good place to shoot when I don’t feel like going anywhere, there’s plenty of things to photograph here. Like the water stains on the sixth floor, or the broken mailboxes, or the broken window in the lobby that should have been fixed months ago but somehow isn’t in the budget.”

“So, flaws.”

“Yeah, flaws. I like them. People think they’re inherently bad, but they’re not. They’re what make things different, special. I find meaning in things like that. Some kind of proof that things aren’t as perfect as we want to pretend they are.”

“You could find meaning in a crack in the sidewalk.”

“I actually have several photos of various cracks in the sidewalk,” Jonathan told him. “Alright, on last one and then we’re done.”

“Of course you do,” Steve laughed. He didn’t know much about him, but that seemed very true to character. “So, I take it you like photographing people because of their flaws?”

“Yeah. Especially ones they try to hide, features they don’t like, scars they wish they had better stories for, things like that.”

“Things people don’t like. Like scars. And freckles?” Steve asked, looing up at Jonathan, slightly vulnerable. He’d gotten used to having them, they were easily hid beneath his clothing, but when he was younger he refused to even go swimming without a shirt. They’d been something different, something to be teased about, so he’d learned to hide them. Now, he didn’t really care. They were there, he didn’t like them, but they were there and he’d almost embraced them. There was no way to remove them without extensive treatment, anyway. But if Jonathan thought they were worth photographing, maybe they weren’t so bad.

“I like your freckles,” Jonathan smiled at him, raising a hand and tracing a path between a couple of them on Steve’s shoulder. “Makes you special, unique. Anything but perfect.”

Steve’s mouth went dry. He’d never felt so complemented by being called imperfect. And Jonathan’s hands were so gentle, so steady, and they had been the whole time. Every time he touched him Steve was struck by that, and every time he touched him, Steve wanted to tell him to never stop. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. They’re beautiful. You’re beautiful,” Jonathan said, his voice low. He let his hand trail across Steve’s skin to his neck. This wasn’t the first time he’d been attracted to one of his muses, but it was the first time he’d ever acted on it. Swallowing hard, Jonathan asked, “Can I?”

Steve wasn’t too sure what he was asking, but in that moment he would have let Jonathan do anything he wanted. “Yeah.”

Jonathan leaned down, cupping Steve’s face in his hand, and pressed his lips against Steve’s for a moment before pulling back and straightening up. Steve stood with him, fully aware that Jonathan would have to adjust him again, but dammit, that was not enough.

He let out a small laugh, “That’s not how you kiss someone, Byers.”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow at him, but smiled when he felt Steve’s hand on the back of his neck, pulling him in for another, much longer kiss. Steve’s lips moved against his and Jonathan found himself kissing back with just as much force, his free hand finding Steve’s waist and pulling him close. Steve bit at Jonathan’s lower lip and Jonathan obliged. Steve licked into his mouth, his hand tangling in Jonathan’s hair and pulling gently. Jonathan finally broke the kiss after a few moments, pulling back and taking a deep breath.

“That’s a kiss,” Steve informed him, smirking at him. This time the confidence wasn’t fake. He felt completely comfortable with Jonathan, despite his state of undress, and given the opportunity, he’d do his best to get Jonathan unclothed, as well.

Jonathan just smiled at him for a moment before gently shoving him back down into the chair. “Sit. One more, then we’re done.”

“And then what?”

“You could leave? Or we could, I don’t know? What do you want?” Jonathan wasn’t used to people staying, he wasn’t sure what he could offer Steve, but whatever he asked for, Jonathan was willing to provide it. Well, almost. “I’m not going to fuck you, though. I like to keep my professional life and my private life separate.”

“That’s disappointing.” But fair. “Any chance I could be part of that private life?”

Jonathan was taken aback. He hadn’t expected Steve to allow him to kiss him, let alone want anything more to do with him. He was pleased, though, as Steve was everything Nancy had said he was. He was a little concerned about dating one of her exes, especially when he, himself, was one of her exes, but somehow he doubted that would be a problem for them.

“I have no objection to it,” he shrugged, stepping back into place behind the camera. “This time you can look at me, if you want. It’d be better for the shot.”

Steve did as he was told, looking up at Jonathan and asking, “Can I still stay, though?”

“Sure?” Why would he want that? “What would we do?”

“You could show me your photos and tell me about them. They look interesting. And, if I’m going to be part of your private life, I should probably get to know you, right?”

“Right, sure.” Whatever you want. “Now, shut up so I can take your picture, alright?”

Steve snorted but did as instructed, waiting until Jonathan looked up from the camera to speak again, “So, why photography? Why do you do it, aside from because you like taking pretty pictures of broken things? What do you get out of it?”

“Why acting? What do you get out of it?” Jonathan countered, removing the SD card from the camera and pocketing it. “We’re done.”

“That was fun. And I chose acting because I like to pretend I’m someone else.” Someone better, someone more confident, cooler, smarter, just better. He’d been a very self-conscious kid, but the second he’d stepped on stage for his second grade school play, he’d felt like he could do anything. It was like coming home. Like he’d finally found a place where he could fit, and if it ever stopped fitting, he could just become someone else. Sports were nice, too, his father had pushed him into those, but theatre had been where his heart was. He’d never forget the fight he’d had with his old man when he found out he was doing theatre. Their relationship had been failing for years, but that had been what really broke it. “It just felt right. On stage, I wasn’t me. I was whatever the script said I was, I didn’t have to worry about my problems or my shitty parents or the fact that I was failing English. It was just an escape, I guess, and I got addicted to the feeling of being someone other than myself for a few minutes.”

“Escapism. Understandable.”

“Your turn,” Steve told him, heading towards his clothes.

“I do it because I need an outlet. I need something to make sense of things. I find flaws and I highlight them and I make them look beautiful, and I guess, in doing that, I figure that if those flaws are beautiful, maybe my own are. And I mean, it gives purpose to the pain, so, there’s that.” Jonathan wasn’t used to talking about his reasons for doing what he did. Sure, he had them, but to put them into words that didn’t sound cheesy or overly emo was a feat. He did it because he needed to. He needed to make art to make himself happy, to keep himself sane. If he didn’t, then he had no purpose, and therefore, neither did all the pain he’d gone through to get where he was today.

Jonathan went towards the kitchenette, hidden behind the back drop to retrieve some of his work. If it wasn’t on the walls, it was in an album or a box, but he figured Steve had had enough nakedness for one day, so he went with the box instead of his current project. Maybe he’d show the full finished project to Steve after he got his photos printed. If he stuck around that long, but Jonathan hoped he would. “These are just random shots that don’t have a particular project attached to them, but you’re welcome to look through them. I’m not sure what all of them are, I just printed them and tossed them in here, so my apologies if you find something horrible.”

Steve, fully dressed and sitting down in the chair, reached up for the box, happily taking it and setting it on the table in front of him. “And you took all of these?”

“Every one of them,” Jonathan nodded, taking a seat. “Some are from abandoned projects, some were just opportunistic, I think there might even be a few family photos in there from the last time I went home, too, but those are boring.”

“I don’t think so. I don’t have any family photos. I left them all at home when I left. Not that there’s any particular sentimental attachment to any of them, they’re just stiff posed photos where we pretended to like each other long enough for the photographer to snap a photo.” Steve was well past caring about his family. He’d learned a long time ago that trying to make sense of what went wrong would only end up hurting him more. It wasn’t his fault, but that didn’t make it sting any less.

“That sucks.” Jonathan wasn’t sure what else to say. He knew what it was like to have a shitty relationship with a parent, but he had his mother, at least, he couldn’t imagine what it would have been like without her.

Steve just shrugged and picked up a photo. A black and white image of a broken clock, the glass cracked and scuffed like it had fallen on the ground. “You weren’t kidding about liking broken things.”

“Broken things are interesting, especially when they still function. It’s like a testament to what we can withstand and still pull through. We might not work the way we should, but we work, and really, that’s all that can be asked of us.”

“You’re really into this deep, emo artist thing, aren’t you?” Steve asked, teasing. He found Jonathan to be a little pretentious, but not in a bad way. He didn’t seem to be saying the things he said because he thought he was somehow better for thinking them, but rather because he truly believed them. He was open, honest, even at the risk of being mocked. It was like he didn’t really care what Steve thought, didn’t care if he judged him. He was at peace with himself, knew who he was and wasn’t ashamed of it, and Steve was a little envious.

Jonathan snorted and shook his head, “If that’s what you want to call it.”

“It is what I want to call it. Oh, my god, I’m dating an emo kid,” Steve laughed at the thought. It was like high school all over again. He was getting flashbacks of self-dyed black hair and way too much eyeliner. He could just imagine Jonathan wearing all black and listening to My Chemical Romance on repeat whilst writing angsty poetry.

“Dating? You’re dating me?” Jonathan raised an eyebrow, not objecting to the thought. He hadn’t really thought about it, but he wasn’t adverse to the idea. Dating Steve might be fun. He was certainly unique, not just physically, but personality-wise. Jonathan couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such an honest and revealing conversation with a total stranger, but Steve made him feel comfortable, like he wasn’t going to judge him for anything. Steve was certainly odd, but Jonathan liked that.

“Well, I mean-” Steve blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, “If you’ll have me?”

Jonathan smiled at him, “Sure. Who wouldn’t want you?”

“You’d be surprised,” Steve told him.

Jonathan shook his head, Steve seemed to have some self-worth issues, but that was alright. Jonathan wasn’t exactly the most confident person, either. “I took that one my senior year of college. Someone threw a rock through the cafeteria window and instead of shattering, it broke in this spiral of cracks, like safety glass but sharper.”

“What? Oh,” Steve looked down at the photo in his hand. “Is everything you take in black and white?”

“I use color when the occasion calls for it, but I find most things look better in grayscale. It highlights the lines, the abstract beauty of it.”

“You really are an artist, aren’t you?” Steve didn’t meet too many artists outside of actors, but he had to admit, he liked their viewpoints.

“Art is everything to me. Without it I probably wouldn’t be here right now,” Jonathan admitted. “It sounds cliché, I know, but it’s true. Without an outlet, without a way to make sense of all the suffering, I don’t think I would have made it through college, let alone this far.”

“And the suffering has to make sense, right? It’s got to have a purpose?” Steve asked. Obviously, Jonathan had been through some shit. Steve understood that. He couldn’t say he had the easiest of times getting to where he was right now. He couldn’t imagine who he’d have become without theatre giving him a way to express himself. He probably would have ended up like his dad. Working a job he hated, married to a woman he didn’t love because she ended up pregnant with a son he didn’t want. No, Steve couldn’t live like that.

“That’s what art is. Giving purpose to the suffering. What’s the point of it if it doesn’t make us better? Better people, better artists,” Jonathan told him, feeling more open and vulnerable than he had in years. This was why he was on the other side of the camera. He didn’t like to be splayed out and picked apart like someone was trying to make sense of him.

“Maybe it doesn’t have a purpose, though. Maybe it just hurts,” Steve shrugged, picking up another photo and looking at it like he was trying to find some hidden meaning in it. Really he just wanted an excuse to pry into Jonathan a little bit more. He wanted to ask him about his past, but he figured that was best left to another time, after they’d gotten to know some of the smaller stuff first. You couldn’t just dive first into childhood trauma, you had to learn things like how they took their coffee and what radio station they liked best first.

Jonathan was quiet for a moment before responding, “If it doesn’t have a purpose, then it’s just pain. Pointless, senseless pain. Like the universe just decided one day that ‘Hey, I’m going to fuck up this person forever for no apparent reason.’ How do you heal from that?”

“And that’s supposed to help you heal? That’s what this is?” He asked, raising his eyebrows. If this was Jonathan healing, he’d hate to have seen him before. He didn’t exactly scream mentally stable or put together now. Not that that was a problem, Steve couldn’t judge. He didn’t have the healthiest of coping mechanisms, himself.

Jonathan nodded. He’d tried a lot of things to make himself feel better. Drinking, drugs, running away. None of it had worked quite like this did. It was his way of making sense of a senseless thing. It helped. It didn’t make his past go away, it didn’t change all the shitty life choices he’d made, but it made them bearable. “This is me giving purpose to the pain, giving it an outlet. This is me healing, slowly, sure, but healing.”

“That makes sense,” Steve said, looking at another photograph. He wasn’t sure what this one was supposed to be. It looked like a bunch of bruises, but it was so close up he couldn’t tell. It was one of the few that were in color, though, so it caught his attention when he’d seen it.

“That one’s from a fight I got into about three years ago with Lonnie. He showed up at my mom’s house and wanted a second chance. It didn’t take long to see he hadn’t changed, and when he started in on Will for dating a boy, I lost it. Took Hopper and two other cops to separate us. Wasn’t a good night, honestly.” It had been the last time he’d seen Lonnie. As far as he knew, he hadn’t come around much after that. Jonathan didn’t like to fight, but after years of having to defend himself against Lonnie, he’d gotten pretty good at it. He knew it would have been easy to give into the anger that burned underneath everything, but he didn’t want to turn out like his father, so he avoided violence as best he could.

“Looks painful,” was all Steve could think to say.

Jonathan just shrugged. He wasn’t trying to be a tough guy, but after fourteen years of living with Lonnie, pain had kind of lost its edge. He reached over to rifle through the photos, looking for a couple he knew were in there. “But that’s the past. I think there are a few happier ones in there. Some stuff from a shoot I did back home. It’s a small town, but it’s got this aesthetic, like it’s stuck in a time loop and it’s forever the eighties. It’s quaint.”

Steve watched as Jonathan pulled a photo from the box and handed it to him. “That’s Will, my brother, and Mike, his husband on their first anniversary last year. They’re in front of the town’s theatre. I swear, it’s never shown anything more recent than Grease.”

Steve smiled at the photo. The couple looked happy and the town charming, if not a bit strange. “So, you can take happy photos.”

“Yeah, sometimes. It might not seem like it, but this does make me happy. It’s easy to get all brooding and dark about it, and the eighth grader in me loves to do just that, but I am happy. Most of the time.” He’d spent a good chunk of his life thinking it would never get any better, that he’d be stuck in a life he hated with no way out and that no matter what he did, he’d never feel that way, but he’d been wrong. It had taken a long time to get where he was, but once he’d finally made it, he wasn’t about to give it up for anything.

“Acting does that for me. I might not get a lot of work right now, but when I do, I’ve never felt so at home in the world. My dad wanted me to be a business man, and I was going to do that, up until my second year of college when I took intro to theatre and realized that I was about to waste my life doing something I never wanted just to please someone who was never going to be proud of me, anyway. So, I changed my major and didn’t look back and-” And while he wasn’t quite as happy as Jonathan seemed, he was getting there. It would take some time to stop living in the shadow of who he was expected to be, but eventually he’d learn to stop hating himself for what he wasn’t. “But, anyway.”

“You should try talking to Benny. He got me my first exhibit here. If he thinks you’re worth it, he’ll help you get where you want to be. I’ll give his number, call him, tell him I recommended you. He’s got a new project he’s working on and he needs a few actors for it. I don’t know how talented you are, but if he likes you, then he’ll probably hire you. I know a lot of people that got their real start through Benny.” Benny had saved Jonathan’s life, quite literally, when he’d showed up to his agency drugged out and on his way to burning out, fast. He’d stuck with him, got him cleaned up, gave him a chance to actually do something with his art. If anyone could help Steve get ahead, it was Benny.

“Let me just-” Steve dug in his pocket for his phone, handing it over to Jonathan. “Here.”

Jonathan took the phone and unlocked it, it didn’t take him too long to figure it out enough to add Benny’s number to it. He paused, “Do you, uh, do you want mine, too?”

Steve smiled and nodded, “That’d be nice, yeah. I can text you terrible lines from the scripts I’m reading. Film students are comedy gold, if they’d just learn not to take themselves so damn seriously.”

“Sounds good. I could use more comedy.” Jonathan entered his number and handed his phone back to him. “You’ve got a few messages, by the way. I wasn’t snooping, but they looked pretty frantic, but it’s like, half emojis, so I can’t tell.”

Steve snorted, “That’s probably Dustin. He writes in hieroglyphics and calls it self expression.” Steve took a moment to look at the messages, noting that, yes, Dustin did seem frantic, and that the photo of their stove on fire was probably a bad thing, but it was the photo of the fire truck outside their apartment that had the most impact, it was dated ten minutes ago. “Shit. I’ve got to go. Dustin tried to burn down our apartment again. He’s a great cook, but it doesn’t take much to distract him.

“That sounds daunting.” Jonathan stood as Steve did, unsure what to do now that he was leaving. They’d spent at least four hours together, with the shoot and talking, but Jonathan didn’t regret it like he usually did after spending a long time with people. He hadn’t felt this comfortable with someone since Nancy and it was nice to open up to someone who wasn’t going to judge him. He really hoped their relationship went somewhere, because Steve felt safe, and it had been a long time since Jonathan had felt safe with anyone.

“It happens like, once a week, honestly. I’ve just got to go, my name’s on the lease, so I’ve got to be the one to explain it to the landlord. I’ll uh, see you soon?” Steve asked, hesitantly.

“Yeah. Text me. We’ll meet up, get dinner or something. Actually, there’s a theatre not too far from here that shows a bunch of classics, maybe we could go? If you’re into that, you know.” Great Byers, you don’t flinch when seeing him naked, but now you get nervous? Way to go, champ, this is why you don’t have friends.

“That sounds great, actually. Maybe like, Sunday? Get lunch and then catch a movie?”

“Yeah. I generally spend Sundays walking around town and taking photographs, but I mean, I guess I could just photograph you?” Was that the best attempt at flirting he had? It was pathetic. Honestly, it was no wonder he hadn’t had a real date in seven months. Picking up random people at his exhibits didn’t count, because they were already interested in him, but it was rare he was actually interested in someone back.

“Don’t you have enough photos of me?” Steve asked, walking towards the door.

“No, not really. Most of them are of the same shot, just from different angles, and they’re all staged.” Jonathan shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe you could be my next muse.”

“Your muse? High praise,” Steve smirked, opening the door. “Does it come with perks?”

“Not really. It just means that I’ll be taking too many pictures and writing sappy poetry about you. Nothing too fantastic.”

“You write?” Well, looks like he’d been right about the angsty poetry bit.

“A little bit. I’m not like, good at it, but I do sometimes.”

“You’ll have to show me sometime. I’d like to read it.”

“I’m serious, it sucks, but, sure.” Jonathan didn’t generally show his writing to anyone. Nancy, Benny, and Will were the only ones he ever really shared it with.

Steve just smiled and stared down at Jonathan for a moment, waiting for him to make a move. But after a few seconds it became painfully obvious that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. He seemed to be a little socially inept, but Steve thought it was cute. “This is the part where you kiss me goodbye, Byers.”

Jonathan swallowed hard, “Right. Of course. Sorry, it’s been a while.”

“I can tell,” Steve laughed, not mocking him. He placed a hand on Jonathan’s chin and tilted his face up to him, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He felt Jonathan smile into it. The kiss only lasted a few seconds but Jonathan’s cheeks were burning by the time it was over. “You’re pretty when you blush.”

“Shut up,” Jonathan mumbled, shooing Steve out the door. He heard Steve laugh as he closed it, resting his back against it and trying to no avail to stop the blush from spreading. He wasn’t used to attractive people liking him back. He wasn’t used to anyone liking him back. Nancy had been right, he did like this one. He was going to do his best to keep him as long as possible. He’d have to buy her flowers or something as a thank you for sending Steve his way.

[sarsaparillaswords]

Winter Soldier Arm Made From Paper

I did a Bucharest Bucky cosplay last Halloween and I’m pretty proud of it. Here’s a close-up:

People have been asking me how I made it and it’s much easier to explain with pictures so I promised them a long tumblr how-to and here it finally is. This is just a forearm, meant to be worn with a henley to cover the upper arm and a glove over the hand. If you want to do a full arm and shoulder then I won’t be able to help you. I mentioned to my husband that I was considering making a full arm for next year and he gave me a look of panic, which is kind of funny because I was the one with glue all over my fingers. The house didn’t even get that messy but whatever. Husbands are still worth it and so is this arm. Here’s another close-up to show off my fake muscles:

Why paper? When I first decided I wanted to do a Bucky costume, I looked at some other examples online. By far the most popular method was thin craft foam manipulated with a heat gun, but the noise and smell would probably have disturbed my child, and I didn’t want to invest in a piece of hardware that would be used once and then contribute to my household clutter forevermore. Finally, although supposedly craft-foam technique is not that difficult, I found it a little bit intimidating whereas I built this forearm with a technique from kindergarten, when we all made papier-mâché* balls by pasting newspaper strips onto balloons. 

* I went to the trouble of googling the spelling for papier-mâché and it’s full of accent marks, so I’m going to cut-and-paste it into this whole post, even though it makes me look like a huge nerd. Which I am.

To make this fine, if somewhat time-consuming, specimen of cosplay craftsmanship, you will need a bunch of trash you already have and a couple inexpensive things:

1) some newspaper (a couple issues of one of those free monthly papers is probably enough, since nobody except my in-laws subscribes to the paper anymore)

2) some lightweight material for padding (more newspaper or old plastic bags)

3) an old pair of pantyhose, old t-shirt, or stretchy scrap fabric

4) tape (I used masking tape but duct tape would probably be better)

5) plastic wrap

6) a small (8 oz) jar of mod-podge ($4-$7, matte, satin, or gloss is fine)

7) a small (3 oz) can of chrome paint ($3-$6)

8) a short length of elastic or very stretchy fabric and some thread (~$2)

9) a small, cheap paintbrush. The cheapest you can find (<$1)

The complete how-I-made-it story is below the cut, plus more terrible cell phone photos and unnecessary brilliant commentary.

I spent about a month planning this thing and only 4 days making it. The whole time, I was screaming internally because although I had the whole thing planned out, I didn’t actually know for sure if it would work until I did it. But it did. Here’s how:

Step 1: make an arm-shaped form to build the papier-mâché over.

Back in my misspent youth, I successfully drafted a homemade dress pattern by having a friend duct-tape me into a T-shirt. This works on the same principle. You need some kind of flexible stuff (stretchy fabric is best) to make the base layer and keep the tape from sticking to you. I cut a leg off an old pair of panty hose and slid it over my arm. Honestly a plastic bag would have probably worked just as well. A piece of thin knit fabric (like a piece cut from an old T-shirt) would be even better. Just make sure you don’t have any exposed skin where the tape will go. Then wrap tape around your arm until the whole thing is covered in a shell like this:

You may notice that I used masking tape. I had this idea that I could capture some muscle definition by using a thinner, narrower tape. This was a mistake. Even while flexing to get the most out of my wimpy muscles, it didn’t really work. Also the panty hose wanted to contract and the tape wasn’t sturdy enough to counter that until I put a whole bunch of layers on. So save yourself a headache and use duct tape (tried and true). Your arm is widest while bent, so do most of the work in that position, but straighten it and move it around a bit to be sure that you will have room to move your arm when the thing is done.

Cut a slit in your crazy tape-sleeve to get it off and tape it back together, then stuff it with old plastic bags or newspaper so it will hold its shape. 

(At this point in my project, I looked at my sad  tape arm and decided by golly, it would have muscles if I had to make them up. So I taped two long pieces of crumpled newspaper where the most prominent muscles of the outer forearm would be. I don’t have a photo of this step, but I do have a nice forearm drawing tuturial and a muscle diagram in my art advice tag. Maybe those will help. Or you could be smart, unlike me, and skip the muscles.)

Step 2: use your arm form as a base to build a layer of papier-mâché

I covered the base with plastic wrap to make sure that my papier-mâché wouldn’t stick to it. Then I used Mod-Podge to paste overlapping newspaper strips over that base. If you aren’t familiar with Mod-Podge, it looks and smells just like white glue. There are probably a lot of different kinds of paste that would work here, but Mod-Podge is inexpensive and readily available. (Also, the hippy aesthetic really goes with my hairstyle.) I quickly discovered that it worked best if I applied the glue to the arm itself with a brush, then laid the newspaper strip over it and smoothed it down with my fingers. It took me a few tries to figure out the best way to lay the strips. As a result, that all-important valley between the “muscles” got papered over and I had to resort to cutting a slit in the paper and pushing it in a bit. It worked--just barely--but it was a real headache. 

Look! Muscles!

So what is the best way to lay the strips? Definitely not like the picture above! In my opinion, a diagonal spiral around the arm works best, allowing you to lay the strip evenly and also keep track of how much you’ve covered in that layer, like this: 

Start your strip near the wrist and let it lay the way it wants to go to stay smooth. This might result in a small gap or overlap with the strip next to it--don’t try to force them to line up exactly. 

Let dry 30 minutes between layers. I did about 3 layers, or roughly the thickness of a sheet of notepaper. I figured that my arm would provide a lot of structure, and I wanted to be sure I could cut it with ordinary scissors later!

Step 3: repeat the process to build a second papier-mâché layer

Once I figured it was thick enough, I let it dry overnight, then wrapped it in another layer of plastic wrap (IMPORTANT!) and started pasting again. About 5 layers this time, or about the thickness of a notecard. I wanted this layer to be very smooth. If I’d had the time, I might have tried to do a “build-up finish” as described on the Mod-Podge jar, but it was only 2 days before Halloween so I just didn’t have time. Instead, I made sure that all my paper strips were torn rather than cut, which made a much less visible edge. Also I finally figured out the diagonal thing. 

Then I coated it in a thick layer of Mod-Podge and let it dry for an hour or so.

Step 4: Draw lines for Winter Soldier Arm plates

The reference images I had were...not great...so eventually I had to shrug and make up something that made sense to me, for a very loose definition of “make sense.”

Was Zola high when he designed this?

You can kind of see the diagonal paper strips under the lines here.

I did this with different colored Sharpie pens. The purple lines are for cutting. Some of the red lines are guide lines, some are where the thinner grooves in the plates go.

I had planned to make those grooves by pressing hard with an old ball-point pen. However, I found it hard to get a good grip on this rounded thing so the line came out shakier than I liked. I panicked and decided not to do the rest, hoping no one would notice, which was a shame because the groove actually looked awesome once the paint was on. 

Step 5: Cut up the outer shell

Let me pause here for a moment.

If you are reading this, then you may be thinking “this sounds like a lot of work!” Which it was! But the worst part was I didn’t know if it was even going to work at all. I didn’t have those completed photos to reassure me. I had a backup plan which was “wrap aluminum foil around my arm and call it good enough” As I built up the structure, it was starting to look like the principle was sound, but I had a lot of work ahead of me and I could still screw it up.

It was late at night on October 29th and I had to make a cut. After that, there would be no going back.

I needed to cut the tube open so that I could get my hand through it. My plan was to cut just to the right of the row of narrow plates on the inner arm. So I did.

The cut itself was fine! I pulled out the stuffing and nothing exploded or stuck to itself. The problem was that it was way too big, probably because of that muscle padding I added way back in step 1. Near my elbow especially, it was maybe an inch too wide. This might not seem like a lot, but when you are trying to hide the edge under a pushed-back henley cuff, it’s frigging huge. 

Step 5a: PANIC

After I was done panicking, I had a pretty cool idea so I ended up doing this:

It’s weird now that I’m thinking about it, but I had no difficulty closing up that gap. Maybe I squeezed it a bit to train it but nothing fancy. It really wanted to curl up on itself already.

Step 5b: Cut up outer layer

This is a little tricky because I had to cut just to one side of the thick sharpie line, then just to the other side, which in practice means cutting a thin strip off the edge of every piece, to make the little gaps between the plates that give the arm its characteristic look.

I used ordinary scissors from an office supply store for most of this, new-ish but nothing fancy. For some of the fine details I turned to a pair of embroidery scissors that I had lying around and wasn’t too attached to (because this kind of thing is bad for embroidery scissors) Imagine my feeling of inverse accomplishment at achieving this:

Like a beautiful flower made of cosplay despair.

While I was doing that I was also waiting for the paint on the under-layer to dry as described in...

Step 6: Prep the under-layer

I needed some elastic to hold the join snug closed over my arm, but I had a bit of metallic stretch velour fabric left over from my kid’s R2-D2 costume, which I had saved every scrap from because it was so expensive. I figured it was stretchy enough to use in place of elastic so I did some estimating and hand-sewed in a panel and...I’m not going to go into depth here. It worked fine but honestly it was so not worth it. In the end, that overlap from step 5a hid most of the join, so I could have just stapled in some elastic and a little flap of cheap silver lamé or something. Then I painted it. I had to mask it so the fabric wouldn’t get paint on it which goes to show how poorly I was thinking things through by this point because it would have been so much easier to paint it first and then add the elastic/stretch fabric/whatever.

The paint I used was Testors 1290 Chrome Spray Enamel from a local store that specialized in model train supplies. I ran down there the morning of October 30, because of course I was doing everything last minute and panicked as is my way. Nor had I taken the time to check any reviews of paint brands. So it was that I found myself standing in the store holding a can of 1290 Chrome in one hand and a of 1246 Metallic Silver in the other. “Chrome.” I murmured to myself. “Metallic Silver. Chrome. Metallic Silver.” I eventually bought the Chrome paint because it “sounded shinier” and because I could use it to make Mad Max jokes.

WITNESS ME!

Chrome was probably the right choice, as this review demonstrates, but on the other hand I might have gotten an even better finish with a different brand, but maybe not in that convenient 3-oz size.

Remember how one of the reasons I chose papier-mâché over heat-treated craft foam was to avoid bad smells? Well, this stuff reeks like you wouldn’t believe. And, forgive me for being such a hippy, but this kind of paint is very high in harmful VOCs, so if you want to use this stuff, if at all possible, do your painting outdoors to minimize health risks. It’s not like you’ll die from painting one arm, but the more often you use this stuff, the more careful you should be.

Getting back to my Epic Forearm Story, I was concerned that some of the paint would have difficulty reaching the under-layer through the gaps between the plates so I gave the under-layer a single coat of paint to avoid any weird paint shadows. It was good practice getting a smooth coat and I was feeling pretty confident about my painting skill. Too confident.

Step 7: Glue cut-up pieces of outer layer onto under-layer

At this point, it was starting to look like my mad project would work, but only if I could finish it on time. This wasn’t reducing my stress levels any, because now I had sunk hours into this project and I had something to lose. I was also concerned that the mod-podge might have difficulty sticking to the chrome paint finish. I lined up the first piece and patiently held it in place until it had dried enough to hold its position after I put it down. Then I waited another half hour or so for it to cure. The resulting join was quite strong, but it was taking flipping forever.

Then I remembered that I didn’t hate life or myself and also that I owned a bottle of super glue. The rest of the pieces went on lickety-split.

(Super glue is not durable enough for extended wear, so if you want to wear this for more than a single Halloween, use the mod-podge)

At this point I had meant to apply another thick coat of mod-podge to seal the edges and make the foundation as smooth as possible but I completely forgot, and maybe just as well because I was rapidly running out of time. Instead I went on to...

Step 8: Apply Chrome Paint finish

The first coat went on beautifully. I was really getting the hang of this, I thought. I put the last coat on just before bed, but this one spot needed a touch more paint, I hesitated just moment too long and...bam. Saggy, bubbly finish. It was so bad it looked like it might actually start to drip, so I grabbed a piece of newspaper and kind of wiped/scraped off some of the excess paint were it was collecting at the points, hoping all the while that I wasn’t marring the finish even further. I was practically in tears but even if I’d had the time, it’s not like I was going to start over so I went to bed and hoped for the best.

In the morning it didn’t look so bad, but I was worried about the edge digging into my arm so I tried to put a strip of that silver fabric over the edge to cushion it a bit, except that fabric is really hard to glue and it only just barely dried enough to wear in time for the trick-or-treating event that afternoon.

Step 9: Wear to widespread acclaim

Or not. Most people didn’t notice that I was wearing a costume at all, which is what happens when you are out on a busy sidewalk with an adorable 3-year-old child. Or people noticed, but didn’t remember Bucky well enough to recognize it. I got a complement on my “nice bracelet” so I guess the metal effect wasn’t too bad. But then I insisted on going to my Friendly Local Comic Book Store to enter the costume contest, and even though it was out of our way and I didn’t win, it was worth it to see the look on the face of the woman working there, just one look of admiration from a fellow nerd and I was over the moon. Hours of work, justified.

In conclusion, this construction method looks great but is somewhat uncomfortable to wear. It would have been better if I had lined it with felt or something. Also this was probably way more difficult than craft foam in the long run. Still, it is very light-weight, relatively cheap to make and allows for muscle contours if you are into that kind of thing. It might have been the best Bucky forearm ever but I flubbed the finish. If anybody decides to make one like it, please show me a picture or something, and learn from my mistakes. Finally, don’t get in any fights with spider-lings.

THE END.

[beedalee]

Bee’s Modest Art Arsenal

I made a comprehensive list of all the stuff I typically use to make art as of right now. It’s not meant to be an end-all-be-all for art supplies by any means, just... stuff I like! And it’s largely affordable whenever possible, yay!!! Some of my favorite art products I find completely on accident or in unlikely places so never be afraid to give it a shot if it calls to you! My list is under the cut, and ofc, all photos are not mine and used purely for educational purposes.

Paper & Sketchbooks

Printer paper (the cheapest kind anyway) is absolutely fine if it’s what’s accessible and convenient, especially if you’re just doing warmups and concepts! I like to keep paper and recycle it in some way too- and some printer/junkmail paper is REALLY nice!! Typically though I prefer bound sketchbooks to keep track of my growth better. I seek specific textures and weights that are better suited to more aggressive mediums, like watercolor and marker. Printer paper is flimsy and really only for dry media!

So for more experimental mixed medium drawing, like markers, paint, watercolor, heavy inks, scrap-booking and collage stuff, I own these:

Shown above are: Strathmore Mixed Media 400 series, Canson XL watercolor paper, Canson XL mixed media paper. Each pad was between 5-9 dollars depending on the size you want, and you can find these at many stores; Joann’s, Micheal’s, Walmart, Staples, etc.

As for sketchbooks- I don’t swear by a brand but here’s what I look for: I prefer wire bound or coptic binding, because both allow the book to lay flat (unlike classic “book” case binding) Also, texture is veeeery important to me! I like very smooth bright white paper that isn’t too thin for sketching and inking. It’s a small personal thing, but because I’m left handed, the more textured paper is the more I smudge it to hell and back. (;￣ー￣川

Pencils & Erasers

For general sketching, I prefer mechanical pencils (but I always keep some wooden pencils around too just in case I need something softer) I’ll use just about any brand or size lead, but my personal favorite is 0.5mm lead, and comfort grips are essential for your artist’s finger bump!!! The two pencils I use the most are a Bic Velocity and Pentel whose label has been smudged off... but again, ANY brand is seriously fine. Some people like standard .7 or even .9 could be good for you if you’re prone to breaking lead!

(Disclaimer: I have virtually no experience with those fancy different lead size HB wood pencils because it smudges so i don’t want it.... (ʘ‿ʘ);;; )

Red and blue sketching pencils are useful because when you scan it, you have the option of editing out JUST the blue or red channel in your art program, leaving only the refined sketch or inks. If you don’t have easy access to an art store that carries these kinds (or just love rainbows like me) use erasable colored pencils for more or less the same effect.

95% of the time, I don’t trust erasers on the tip of any pencil. Ever. My family has a bad habit of hoarding pencils for years or buying cheap ones with cute prints, so the erasers ALWAYS suck. Instead, I use an entirely separate selection of erasers. 

Shown above are Faber-Castell eraser 3pack, Prismacolor kneaded rubber, and Pentel’s hi-polymer eraser. They’re relatively easy to find, though Pentel’s may be the easiest in a pinch, and you get a bunch for a low price!  Those pointy pencil topper erasers work as well if you want something smaller tho!

Kneaded rubber is really useful if not making a eraser crumb mess is very important to you or your work, effective and very gentle. (and gross looking after a while... like a grey poo... but it’s fun to play with?) I always have a big fat eraser like these around for erasing large areas- I prefer them a LOT over pink erasers, which occasionally do the dreaded smudge or dry out. and then smudge. HHNGGH

Pictured above are Papermate TUFF STUFF eraser stick (and a refill), Pentel’s Clic Eraser, and Clic Eraser refills. The refills are almost always exactly next to the product itself.

So you have a big eraser! But for detail work and hard to reach spaces, that fat nub might make you want to pull your hair out as you accidentally erase the face you spent 15 minutes perfecting. These are probably one of my favorite tools, and I’ve used them since I was 14! Pentel’s eraser is great for moderate to fine detailing, and then I recently found Papermate’s at a Dick Blick. It may be the most elusive (I mean.. we have the internet now so...) but it’s INCREDIBLE for detail erasing. I’m super finicky about precision, so these are heavenly for me.

Pens & Markers

For inking and lining, I turn to these! They’re pretty accessible in many stores now-a-days (Sakura used to be so hard to find). Shown here are Sakura Micron Pigma 8 pack and Staedtler Pigment Liner 4pack. Staedler was my first baby-bee brand and the quality is still good, even if I prefer Sakura now because of the wide variety of nib sizes. You can also find Sakura in singles in art stores like DickBlick or Jerry’s Artarama probably! Liners are waterproof and archival, and take a lot of punishment under wet media or on top (though I’d always encourage letting it dry first.)

Shown above are Sakura Micron Gelly Roll Metallic and Classic White Gel Pens! Gel pens were a super cool fad back in the 2000s for me but now they actually serve a REALLY handy purpose. You could use them to highlight or detail just about anything, but I especially find the metalic and white gelpens very useful. The metals are great to add a bit of bling to a drawing, shine your rendered metal, or just add sparkles. ✧☆✧ (و｡･｀ω´･｡)و  The white is GREAT for tan, gray, or black paper- or to highlight areas in hair or eyes- AND to white out small oopsies without having to use actual white out. I highly recommend getting a 3 pack of these guys!

I also recommend ballpoint pens. Yes, those random ones all over your house, given out for free at banks or offices- any old ballpoint pen (that isn’t on the verge of dying.) The difference between sketching in pencil, inking art, and using pen is that ballpoint pen is all the permanence without the refinement of inking. I looove using ballpoint to sketch messy stuff, to mess up and start over. plus, it also comes in a billion colors, and you don’t feel bad writing with them normally or losing them when you travel. It isn’t waterproof so it will bleed if you put marker or watercolor on it, but... sometimes i do it anyway! 8) 

I currently use Spectrum Noir and Prismacolor Alcohol markers. SN are in packs of 6 for 14.99, but if you’re like me, a joann’s 50% off coupon can net these sets for 7.50 apiece. I got the prismacolor 12 pack for my birthday, and I like to collect a few certain colors on occasion, but the money saved on the SN makes that splurge possible. I think the quality is really great for the price, even if I am still pretty novice at marker coloring. I write a bit more about these here!

Digital Art Tools

10x6.25 in Monoprice Tablet (and some AAA batteries) (You can probably find bigger or more updated models for the same price by now, as well.)

Love this tablet! REALLY affordable (70-80) and such a trooper- I’ve battered this thing with water and heat and cold and it’s still as resilient as ever. I think I’ve changed the single AAA battery in my pen like... 3 times max in the 4-5 years I’ve owned it. I’ve disabled the “close window” hotkey (bc I’m LEFT HANDED AND HIT IT ALL THE TIME) but otherwise it’s a really great tablet, does exactly what it should. Works with windows 7 well, but I can’t give a review of it on any other OS.  More about it here.

I use Easy Paint Tool Sai and Photoshop 7 for text/editing (though I’d like to upgrade to CS2 in the future), but free/purchased art programs are vast and endless, so it’s really up to your personal taste... and this post is already long enough!

So, that’s about it for now! Those are all the essentials I like at the moment- everything else is experimental, which is always encouraged!!! Expand your horizons!! Have fun!! Go draw a thing!

[jchichibu]

Everything about my exchange in Europe/Sweden.

Hej!!! (is it too long never hej someone already)

It’s been almost 4 months since I have been back from my exchange at Umeå University in Sweden and everything has been moving so quickly ever since I was back. Firstly, I was back on 16 January 2016, which means school in NTU has actually already started. My last exam in Sweden was 15 Jan :( Secondly, transitioning back to $tre$$fuLyf3 Singapore education isn't the easiest thing to do right after a 7.5-month break from NTU. Thirdly, having cleared very little/very lame AUs during exchange, I wanted to focus a lil more this sem. Hence I had to chuck the idea of wanting to blog something about my exchange till when I've got more time.

And now that finals are ended, LAO NIANG CAN SIT DOWN AND SAY WHAT I WANT 'CUZ EXCHANGE WAS THE DAMN BIG THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!!!!!!!

Ok that being said, I'm not going to make this like a travelogue/tips on how to travel on a budget because I really am not the best person travelling (but i do have a friend, buttergoesbudget) because I have literally forgotten many places that I'd been to and eaten at, and I wasn't the biggest/best saver. 

However having made quite a lot of mistakes during exchange, what I've got here are my experiences from exchange and I hope to share to whoever who wants to read, and hopefully will be useful for those heading to Europe/Sweden for exchange :) Also pardon my limited vocab and simple compo writing, I shall just pen my thoughts as if I'm talking to someone irl ok LOL

Some background story...

current major | Mathematics and Economics (NTU SPMS) year of exchange | Year 3 Semester 1, Autumn semester place of exchange | Umeå, Sweden host university | Umeå University (I took economics mods there, they do not offer many math mods) duration of exchange | 3 Aug 2015 to 15 Jan 2016

I shall skip the preliminaries such as how to go on an exchange, course matching etc 'cuz I've forgotten LOL and jump into my 10 things I think will be useful for those going exchange! Ok here we go.

1) Air tickets (from and to Singapore)

Vanessa and I actually got our deal from STA Travel, which mainly includes:

Qatar Airlines 

Stopover at Dubai

Ticket from Singapore to Rome

Ticket from Stockholm to Singapore

1 change of date back to Singapore FREE

40KG baggage limit

Max stopover was maybe at most 2 hours, wasn't long at all

We also got our ISIC (International Student Identity Card) done for FREE as a complementary (usual cost about sgd 25 I think). I thought owning this card was definitely not an essential but it was nice to have it as I did receive some good deals via ISIC card (you can check their discounts at different countries in their website).

I got my 2-way tickets for SGD 1440. I am quite sure this isn't the cheapest. But the 1 change of date and 40kg baggage limit were useful because I did change my flight back once and my baggage was freakin' on-the-dot 40kg. So don't underestimate these benefits included!

2) Pre-trip planning

I'm typing more for pre-trip because the time period is kinda more predictable than the trips in between school. Maybe some ideas to help you kickstart planning for your pre-trip! After your pretrip, I'm pretty damn sure your other trips will be much easier to plan (or even last min!)

Travel mates:Initially the pre-trip only consisted of Van and I, but Hui Cheng and Yi Jin joined in :)

It was just 4 girls and I think it was a good number because too many people sibei mafan, but too little people quite dangerous. My parents had concerns about only 4 girls travelling but I guess they were ok after a while. But of course, always nice to have some guys around!

Choosing where to visit: We all did not have any preferences to places to go as everyone haven't been to Europe before. Hence we simply followed the common route most people do, we planned on: Rome → Venice → Florence → Pisa → Cinque Terre → Milan → Paris → Amsterdam So basically there was no particular reason how we chose our route, but for those who are as new to Europe as us, I must say it was a doable and fun route. And for suaku me, being able to witness The Colosseum, Vatican City, Leaning Tower of Pisa, Eiffel Tower, Green light district of Amsterdam and Anne Frank House within 2.5 weeks was definitely sth familiar yet Europey to me! And can haolian to people you've been there seen those *flips hair*

However, the only bad part was probably the weather. On our first few days, it was super hot like 37°C during the daytime (early Aug) when we arrived at Rome (Singapore felt incomparable) (or was it) and I legit had a heatstroke-feeling-moment when I was in the Colosseum. But the nights are pretty chilly which was good. And then, within like 2 weeks or so, it was starting to get really cold by the time we were in Amsterdam (mid August). Cinque Terre vs Amsterdam within 2 weeks: From wearing like this...

to wearing like this.

So the weather changes up pretty quickly due to the how the seasons change, something not every Singaporean will understand (ie, me before exchange) and it gets quite unpredictable. Which means, you need to pack your summer and slightly warming clothing. But I managed through lower temperatures in Paris and Amsterdam with my baseball jacket and beanie (which I bought there). One note is that perhaps starting from lower parts of Europe (Spain, Portugal etc) can be a good alternative pre-trip route too, so as to get used to the temperatures in Europe and also the temperatures do not flactuate too much.

Duration of trip: We travelled from 3 August 2015 to 21 August 2015 (about 18 days). It was a good duration for me, not too long, not too short. But can I say I got a little sick of moving from place to place every few days :( Remember you are new to travelling for a relatively long time and travelling is not always rainbows and unicorns, it really gets tiring. 

This was the days spent in each city and my comments wrt the duration:

Rome- 5D4N: Had to adjust body clock, set aside time to settle my luggage matters and a full day in Vatican city. There were many things to see in Rome so duration was ok

Venice- 3D2N: duration was sufficient

Florence- 4D3N: too long LOL for me. I thought Florence was pretty normal only haha

Pisa- 3+HRS: too short LOL could have spent a lil longer but definitely less than a day. Although we only wanted to see the Leaning Tower in Pisa, taking the perfect shot of it took a loOooooOoong time and the distance by foot from Tower to train station was about 20min

Cinque Terre- 3D2N: loooove this place, wouldn't mind an extra day or 2 to properly visit all the islands! And even chill in the beaches

Milan- 8HRS: was a stopover so we did not do much actually besides eating and shopping at train station haha

Paris- 4D3N: would have liked an extra day to visit Disneyland!!! :( (which is quite a distance from the central Paris)

Amsterdam- 4D3N: duration was ok

Modes of transportation: For the route we took specifically, we took trains all the way. We used Raileurope to find the cheapest timings for each city. It is like a skyscanner for trains. And the trains were really great tbh!!!

So definitely take trains, takes about 2 to 4 hours between cities and they were ok priced I guess.

One of the perks will definitely be that the trains bring you to the city centre, which is always useful. 

Also, trains have no limits on baggage weight!!!!

We also got adventurous and tried the overnight sleeper train (Thello) from Milan to Paris. Comfort-wise, I was sleeping at the bottom deck in a 6-couchette, closest to the tracks, slept the entire night lol. I think they had blankets too! Price-wise, it wasn't the cheapest but definitely an experience! Safety wise, we were 4 friends in a 6-people cabin, and the other 2 being a mother and a young daughter. So we were lucky as they looked pretty harmless. I just placed my luggage filled with clothes in the unlocked storage area in the cabin and kept my belongings close to me like near my boobs when I slept. Also, the cabin door could be locked from inside. I advise to always have more of your own people than strangers in the couchette if possible, always safer this way! Initially we were wondering to try the eurail pass but I think we did not as it was only more worth it if we were taking the 1 month pass. But do compare the prices!

Another useful website to find out where are the best routes to take from a city to another is rome2rio.

Accommodations: We booked through airbnb. We mostly got a whole apartment to ourselves as we had 4 people, which was easier to find airbnbs for. Sometimes the airbnbs were for 3 people but had extra charge for extra person and worked out fine for us. So do consider that. We were looking for somewhere convenient, affordable and had good reviews. Tbh we just tried our luck with the area of the airbnb and basically was ok as long as the airbnb is near a subway or near some place of interest. It helps that airbnb now has the feature where the airbnbs are geotagged on a map with their pricing. 

Some better airbnbs/hostel that we stayed and were pretty decent in terms of location and airbnb itself were: Venice: link Florence: link Paris: link Amsterdam: link

In all, we basically we booked our train tickets, flight tickets and accommodation prior to the trip a few months before! Train ticket prices shouldn't change too much so tbh no need book so fast, same for airbnbs. But book earlier if you already have plans, try not to do last minute bookings as good airbnbs/train timings may not be available.

Administration: As there are travel mates with u and everyone may be paying/booking different things, do set up Googledocs with your travel mates for all the important documents, like train tickets, airbnb receipts and itinerary. This keeps accounting easier and ensures no tickets/receipts are lost. To be honest, it gets quite messy trying to split costs etc so it's always nice to write down who paid for what for future references when everyone needs to start paying! Don't care if your friends think you damn lame, IT JUST MAKES EVERYTHING NEATER because there will be so many tickets and receipts to remember. They will thank you next time lol. Another advise is to divide the workload if possible, so everyone in charge of finding accommodation/transport for different cities respectively. Divide the workload, lessen the mistakes, eliminate the possibility that one person has to tank all the errors LOL.

One mistake I made was to book the wrong month for our Paris airbnb, and to only realise after that and the cancellation policy was strict :( SO PLEASE CHECK AND CHECK TO ENSURE EVERYTHING IS CORRECT FOR YOUR TICKET, ACCOMMODATION EVERYTHING! DON'T TAKE CHANCES.

3) Packing list for exchange

I waited till the super last minute to pack my luggage as I returned from Japan just less than a week before flying off for exchange. And I was lazy (so Claria had to help me overnight haha <3). But really hor, I think if can pack earlier. Just start throwing stuff you think you need during exchange into your luggage as and when. You don't want to be rushing and be anxious about forgetting something important. 

Something I forgotten to bring was, MY FREAKING GRAPHIC CALCULATOR. And I am a Math and Econs student. *come I clap for you* So yes, just please remember to bring, you don't want to buy one there.

I basically followed this checklist for advise on what to bring. I thought it was useful to help me get started.

And after experiencing exchange myself,

These are what I think you SHOULD NOT bring:

Maggie mee/ cup noodles: It is damn ding dey (occupy a lot of space, esp the bowl cup noodles) The asians shops have it. And bringing 5 packets over wouldn't last you entire exchange lolol. For Sweden, ICA sells them!!!! So don't worry if you really craving for it.

Too much milo packets: tbh I wasn't craving milo too much, mostly gave milo away for my international friends to try. I mean, milo is really yummy (milo fan 5eva) everyone should try it. However, that being said, one big packet will do for your friends to share. I brought 2 packets and it was SUPER HEAVY. I carried all my food around during pretrip it was extremely troublesome. Will explain why below.

Too many Singaporean-y food: I know you miss your food but just bring some to cook for your international friends! Go enjoy the food over there since you're in Europe! And also, if you really need some oyster sauce or whatever, just buy it from Asian supermarkets. You definitely have one nearby you. 

New winter wear just for exchange: I did not have any winter wear prior to exchange, and I bought myself some Uniqlo fleece hoodie and 2 turtlenecks. Think those were neccessary, sufficient and pretty affordable. But if you do not have winter jackets and will hardly experience winter anytime soon after exchange like me, just buy them from thrift stores when you reach your city! There are usually a large variety and muuuuuch cheaper for a substantial one. Scored myself a reasonably warm black jacket. But also, thrift shopping is possible only if you are ok with wearing used stuff! :)

Boots: If you do not have those Timberland boots or whatever, no need to buy just to walk on snow. Because when the snow comes and it gets all slippery and shit, these boots still make you fall. If you have them already, bring them as they definitely are better than normal sneakers. But if you do not own them already, don't bother buying them. Get the detachable spikes when you are at a snowy place!

These are what I think you SHOULD bring:

Running shoes: You need to exercise in exchange. Lol

Wifi router: I stayed in a school dormitory hence I was glad I brought my router so I had access to wifi the first day there. It is cheaper to bring it from Singapore!

Coffee packets from Singapore: I'm speaking for people going to Sweden for exchange. Swedish enjoy coffee, so bringing some good kopi packets for them to try may actually be very useful and nice.

Party wear: Not chao clubber but there are parties and parties to go when you are on exchange, so you may consider bringing some dresses/skirts that will keep you warm for the girls so you look presentable and ready to party!

Extra credit card: My parents got me another UOB Lady's Mastercard, on top of my existing POSB card which I usually draw my money with. I put my POSB card in my wallet and my UOB card somewhere else in my bag. The POSB card is for normal usage while the UOB serves as a backup in the case when I lose my wallet/card. This will kinda of save all the trouble of your parents having to send you money from Singapore and you will never be penniless/have insufficient money. This UOB Mastercard merely serves as a backup financially, it's always good to have extra "capabilities" to pay up. lol

Body pouch: Yes, those lao kok kok one that your parents may force you to use. Surprisingly 3 out of 4 of us actually wore it throughout our pretrip. I kept some extra cash and my passport in it and strap it close to my body.

Sling bag: I carried my crossbody bag throughout my trip and put it in front of me ALWAYS. I kept my wallet, handphone and iPad in this bag and constantly checked to ensure these 3 things are in it. Do not put too many junk in your bag, so you can just touch your bag to know that these 3 things are inside. I check my bag like 10 times or more a day not even kidding, better be safe than sorry because some European countries can be really unsafe! Even when we were travelling in trains, this crossbody is always with me. I do not put my valuables in my luggage. I mean if people want to steal my luggage they can la, they can have my clothes lo. Do remind each other about checking your belongings too, am thankful no one I travelled with lost anything.

Wide angle lens/fisheye lens: Good for taking photos with your friends and the whatever chio thing y'all trying to take with, that is if you do not own a DSLR like me!

Some nice things that represent Singapore that you want to share with your international pals: For example, chicken rice paste, chilli crab paste, NTU shirt, NTU file, etc

This list is definitely not exhaustive. Refer to the post above for a more detailed one (I used that checklist to prepare for my trip!).

4) Transporting your hugeass luggage from Singapore to host university

I'm talking about the luggage with 6 months worth of supplies. As my university was in the northern parts (read: ulu) of Sweden, it was quite expensive just to get a flight ticket, fly there, leave my luggage, then proceed for  my pre-trip. Furthermore, my room was not ready yet and I would not have a room to store my luggage. And I did not have a friend living in Sweden or whatsoever.  What Van and I did was, we brought our luggage (we had 40KG baggage limit for our flight from Singapore to Rome) to Rome and from Rome, we hired a door-to-door bagagge delivery service, sendmybag.com. It was definitely cheaper to send it from Rome to Umea, than from Singapore to Umea. We liased with our host uni prior to flying off and they agreed to collect our luggage for us and safekeep it for us in the general office. We had to print this tag and paste it in on our luggage, so do bring some tape! We also managed to find a printing shop nearby to print our tags. One bad thing is that they do not deliver food items, which explains why I had to carry all my cup noodles and milo packets around, throughout my entire pretrip TMD. Ended up eating all my Hello Panda even before I reached Sweden LOL. And also, gels, liquids etc are not allowed. You can read more on their website! Another bad part is that they did not tell us when they were coming to our Rome airbnb to collect our luggage, but instead gave us a time range, which was pretty much the whole day. That was why we actually allocated more time in Rome. So we have decided to wait in our airbnb for the delivery man to come collect our luggages. And thankfully (I still rmb we shrieked) the man came to collect at about 12pm so this means more time to explore Rome!!! Apparently, our luggage got delivered safely to our host uni and to Yi Jin's and Hui Cheng's apartment. Do remember to lias properly with the person in charge of collecting your luggage, don't cock up! But once our luggage was delivered and received, ALL WAS GOOD FROM THEN!!! I think I paid about 160SGD for the service.

Other alternatives is to place it in a friend's house first then fly for your trip, place it in your apartment if it's ready then fly for your trip or send it straight from Singapore a few days before you get your room. Please don't think of carrying your bigass luggage around please, IT'S REALLY DAMN TURN OFF TO CARRY SUCH HEAVY THINGS AROUND.

5) Packing list for pre-trip

For pretrip, just pack what is required because heavy luggages really makes travelling very sian. I expect a pretrip to be around July to end August, which is the season of transition from summer to autumn and sometimes the weather change is drastic. You don't need your winter coat yet, a hoodie and thermal should be enough. For a rough idea, what I suggest is: Thermals, 1 jeans, 1 shorts, 1 long pants, 2 cooling tops, a dress, 2 warm clothes, slipper, sneakers, socks, a good hoodie/jacket, beanie, AND SCARF if you want. I swear a scarf keeps u sooooo damnnnnnnn warm. This was about what I brought for my pretrip of 18 days. I kept my clothes highly matchable with one another. HAHA and I think I was pretty ok dressed for photos ;)

6) Phone services and banking services abroad

Different countries have different SIM cards, so if you were to travel so many places it would be expensive to get SIM cards for every country you visit. I mean you can also la. For me, I did not buy any SIM card for any country/city I visited. I just relied on wifi and I did not have any problem. Wifi are usually available in food places you visit, Macs and sometimes even the public transport. So this makes marking out on Googlemaps where you want to go before leaving your house very important. I kept my Singapore number and phone service so I am always contactable by my family. For my solo trip, I constantly kept in touch with my family via SMS. My dad decided to keep the line too, so that if I ever need to call them or anyone, I can do so. And I also did not get a Swedish number. LOL. But my city was really tiny without metro whatsoever so I wasn't actually very bored travelling from one place to another that I needed to use my phone. The prepaid card wasn't that expensive but it only limited me to call within Sweden, which apparently is quite useless for me because I don't have anyone to call to. The data plan was slightly pricier and not so worth it.

I relied solely on wifi throughout my entire exchange and travelling.

With regards to how I got cash, I did not open a Swedish bank account because it was just for 6 months. Instead, I withdrew money (5000SEK was maximum, about 840SGD) each time using my POSB bank account from their ATM. This can last me for quite long if I did not travel. Sweden is also a highly cashless country, so you can just use Mastercard for the cheapest thing in the supermarket. I understand that I lose out in the exchange rate and all, but ya, just sharing with you guys how I did banking while on exchange. Of course, I do have many friends who open bank accounts in other cities/countries.

7) While travelling

This is just some (read: MANY MANY) random tips I have for travelling in general, like anytime you travel!!! They may be very random/small/common-sensical as I'm just typing out whatever pops up from my head.

1. Always keep your train tickets/air tickets/airbnb itinerary/impt documents in your ipad or phone before leaving your house. You do not know if you have wifi outside so please save everything before leaving home. 2. Some airlines allow for digital tickets (ie, just show your airticket from phone can already) but some strictly only allows for hard copy air tickets. 3. Train tickets are basically ok if in soft copies. And you can buy your train tickets on the spot for city to city. So don't worry if last minute you missed your train etc! Still same price I think. But buy beforehand if possible. 4. RYANAIR requires Singaporeans to do a visa check before boarding. So you need to get a stamp at the ryanair booth before going to the boarding gate. Leave some time for that! They will state you need to check your visa in the ticket, read carefully! 5. Always keep your bags in front of you. Don't ever put it behind you. 6. Always put minimal valuables with you, and always check for them. Remind your friends too whenever leaving a place. It's the time to be naggy and paranoid. Chances are, if you lose sth you will never find it back. 7. Do not be too kind and help other people. I think everyone has heard enough pickpocketing stories. Don't go dark alleys in the night, be smart! 8. Try to collect all dem geotags on Snapchat. I mean, why not since you there already! 9. TAKE MANY PHOTOS AND VIDEOS!!!! The photos of my travelling still brings back fond memories and You Are A Tourist Just Do Your Thang!!! Chances are, you will not come back anymore so just take photos. But do be mindful of the time you take to get that perfect shot la ok, I mean those who I travelled with were really just looking to take nice touristy step shots with our samsung or iphone. But if you are those into professional photography and wouldn't mind spending half a day to take that one perfect shot, do see if your friends are on the same page with u! 10. Don't be specially on a hunt to buy soveniers for your family and friends. You can buy some along the way but don't be like on a full force hunt for them. To be honest I could not find many good soveniers that I feel were useful and worthy of the price. If something looks nice and affordable for a large bunch of people back home, just get them. So at least you solved your sovenier issue because trust me, there isn't many good soveniers la LOL. For me, I got 1 thing from some cities I went to, which were mostly small and not too pricey. Then I put them into goodiebags for my friends, so they get a range of soveniers from different places. Some ideas are, chocolates from Belgium, Eiffel Tower keychain from Paris, chio keychains from London, teabags from London and Ikea meatball sauce from Sweden. 11. Try sandermans free walking tours. Book in advance although you can just show up at their meeting point if you did not book (however at Prague they only allowed people who book to join because the crowd was overwhelming). The tours usually give me insights and interesting facts about the city and most of the time I'm not disappointed!! They are free tours and you pay how much the tour guide deserves after the tour has ended. We usually each give 5 euros or more each, don't be cheapskate and pay nothing la!!! 12. Googlemaps is da bombz. Prior to the trip I did not really use googlemaps. So for those who do not know what it is, lemme tell you the greatness of this feature. Save all your locations that you want to go before you start the day (you need wifi for this) and you get all the pins to plan your day. Most of the places of interests are really walkable, so once you get a rough gauge of what you are doing for the day, head out. To know how to walk from point A to B, switch on your gps (no wifi needed) and follow the route. TADA. Ok you may think this is stupid but I really did not know about it till I was there. I hardly got lost with googlemaps. 13. Be flexible with the itinerary. Don't tire everyone out with a full day pack plan. Enjoy the company and the places, that's more important. 14. If you need wifi, go to MacDonalds!!!! You may need to buy something to get the wifi password but ok, worth it. Saved my life many times. 15. Pay an entrance fee for something only if you want to. Some entrance fees may be pricey, so only go in if you want. Then again, don't sting on it if most of your friends want to visit. I mean, you are already there so just go in! Do take note if there are discounts using your ISIC card. I elaborate if you should or not visit some attractions below! 16. Try not to break the rules. I sound damn toot for saying this but sometimes, just pay for the bus or train if you need to. My friends and I paid for most of our trips ('cept in Prague, you really do not need to pay for the trains LOL nobody pays and nobody cares) like any good citizen would and I think it makes me less paranoid about train attendants coming to spot check on us and whatnot. In Cinque Terre, we did not pay for our bus and I swear the bus attendant came in one stop before we had to alight. I forgot what happened but I rather play on the safe side so I don't get hurt~~~ 17. Allocate more time to travel to the airport. DON'T DO LAST MINUTE BOARDING OF THE PLANES. You do not want to miss your flight because of security checks man. Don't try to think you have a lot of time, go about 1.5 hours before the flight. Some airports really do have extremely looOoooOong wait for security checks, like London. And rmb for Ryanair we need to get our visa checked. 18. Be a good travel buddy. It may feel like a fun getaway with your pals but sometimes when you are to spend 24/7 with them, their habits may not be in sync with what you like. This may be worst travelling with people you do not really know. Learn to be more accomodating, but voice out your opinions and preferences if needed. Know each other's spending habits, level of cleanliness, dietary preferences, whether they are on the more careless side or more laid back side, or even come to a consensus on what time you guys want to wake up... And try to work things out. It does help to have a bigger heart, yet rmb to be firm when it comes to serious matters like safety and train and flight timings. But then again, I had not much problem with those whom I travelled with HAHA. I think maybe I was the good travel buddy then *flips hair 19. Be adventurous and try new things, like new food, talk to new people, experience new activities but always be safe. I regretted not going skydiving before it colder, but I did not regret trying rabbit meat (sorry) in Prague, dressing up as Snow White in London, solo-trippin' in Helsinki and Tallin, cliff-jumping in Cinque Terre, random talking to some Korean and Chinese people under the Colosseum in Rome, 2eur cheap sexy thrill and smokin' in Amsterdam, iceskating in a Christmas market in Berlin and many more! 20. Be accountable to your parents because while you are having fun in Europe, trust me, your parents are worried sick back in Singapore. Even if you are a guy. Just ensure you always tell them which city you are at and let them know when you leave and return to your airbnb. Don't go mia because you are just making your parents more worried! This is the least you can do for them. 21. Try to be safe. I haven't couchsurfed or hitched a hike because mostly I travelled with girls and my parents are not that fond of the idea. I mean, I did not mind not having this experience too because my parents always tell me scary stories la. But if you ever do, I just want you to rmb to be safe and do these with caution. I mean if you alone one girl, try not to couchsurf or hitch a hike if got nothing la. Am I too naggy? 22. Be mindful of the luggage limits when you are taking a plane. It's damn expensive to pay extra baggage in the airport. Try not to bring too many unnecessary things, and wear your thickest clothings on your body to save space. I remember sweating like dog but had to wear my winter jacket on my body LOL. I did my travelling without any extra baggage, so everything handcarry (I didn't even own those bagpacking dk how many litres kind of bag). So really travel light, and try not to buy unneccesary things. I resisted myself so much at London :( 23. Get a good thick scarf!!! In extremely cold places I give credit to my scarf for protecting my coldass face. 24. Always bring a charged extra battery or portable charger to remain contactable by your parents, for directions purposes and to take photos. 25. Spend when you need, scrimp when you can. Don't go all budgety for every single thing you do there, spend on an entrance ticket for a place of interest you want to, splurge on a good meal if your friends want to. Rmb, since you are already in Europe, just enjoy yourself. Of course, don't spend money like it's free. Scrimp by going to the nearby grocery store to get breakfast and snacks for when you are hungry. Or take a walk instead of taking the metro or bus, anything within 5km of walking is definitely manageable. 26. Collect something from every city if you want! For me, I collected Snapchat geotags and postcards. 27. Be aware of the bus/flight/train timings! Just a personal experience. I was waiting for my overnight bus from Stockholm to Umea alone and was actually 1 hour early for my bus at 9pm. However, I was waiting and was so engrossed on my phone that I just missed the timing of my bus. Apparently the bus has left without me and I had to stayover at Macs, waited till 8am the next day for a 9-hr bus ride back. Waste money, wasted time and made my parents worry. Just be mindful that buses and trains are actually pretty damn accurate SO DON'T MAKE STUPID MISTAKES. 28. Singaporeans are really not that uncommon in Europe, you sorta can recognise that they are Singaporeans. Always nice to seek help from them if you need. I mean, always nice to talk to Singaporeans when you are so far away from home! 29. Document your exchange life on instagram, fb or even a blog. I'm glad I posted my feelings/things I did on exchange on Instagram because reading them now just gives me all the good vibes, and it reminds of things that I may have forgotten. 30. Check-in online beforehand. Different airlines have different days prior to flight to check in, some 3 days, some 24 hours.

8) Next trip after school started

When I first started school I did not travel much because I want to fully integrate myself into life in Umea. Our uni had a buddy programme and I kinda joined and attended most of the activities. I studied too HAHA. I think it's quite important to familiarise and enjoy yourself in your city since you are already there! Then when you see a break you can try to plan for your first adventure :) As my area predominantly required a plane to travel out, I used skyscanner to search for the cheapest places to fly to from Stockholm. Skyscanner has this feature that allows you to fly "Everywhere". Then you plan from there lol I also asked my Swedish friends what is the best ways to travel out and sometimes they do have good tips to share, like how SAS Airlines has a youth discount.

Then once you are ready just BOOK IT, don't think too much. I actually booked my Iceland trip assuming to go all myself because I really wanted to visit Iceland. Think I got cheaper tickets because I booked several months in advance.

As for itinerary, you can do it on the day itself when you start your day of travelling hahahaha. That's what I usually do, but it's normally not as detailed and well-planned as your pre-trip would have been.

One stupid mistake I made while booking my flights was to suaku-ly assume that every country has only one freaking airport. I had to take a flight from Umea to Stockholm, then Stockholm to London. However, there are 2 airports in Stockholm but I was so blur, so I booked one from Umea to Aranda Airport and the other from Skavsta Airport to London. And yes, Aranda to Skavsta airport is like super far. But I had to suck it up and buy an additional bus ticket to travel that distance, alone. And had some little adventure which made me take a taxi instead...... moral of the story, be alert!

Also, try not to think that you can skip all the lessons. I had trouble catching up and had to dabao one mod, not the best scenario. So do travel during school time mindfully! Exchange really need to study one!!!!!!

9) Being on exchange in campus

Umea uni is one of the best rated universities for exchange students and I do agree with it. We have a buddy programme whereby it's similar to a OG system in Singapore context, with group leaders and activities planned out. Always be active on Facebook because events are usually posted there. Parties invitations are also posted on Fb so really remember to check on Facebook to avoid missing out fun activities. It may be quite intimidating talking to a bunch of angmohs at first but don't worry because we are brought up with English as our first language, so communication is not a barrier. In fact, other Europeans don't even speak English as well as we do. Even if you speak some (for me, a lot) of Singlish in your conversations with them, just try to teach them some Singaporean culture! But of course, try to speak proper English and we all can if we want to really. I think it is also nice to talk to Asians first, if that is within your comfort zone. My first few friends and closest friends are actually Koreans! It's also always fun to speak Mandarin to Hongkongers and Taiwanese for a start :) Speaking of first day of class, I was petrified as hell because I really hate to go meet new people all by myself. I was srsly feeling left out when I entered the classs because I was late lol and most of them have already begun talking to each other. And worst still, I was the only Asian. I rmb going to the toilet to sit down during break because I was just so not used to being friendless LOL. But in the end I did try to introduce myself to my classmates and as days passed by, it got waaayyyyy better. Thankfully my class was small of about 7 people, we even had parties together and even go for gym classes tgt. Another thing is to always be willing to join activities. I was pretty enthu to join any activity and attended any party I was invited to, and it got me exposed to many fun and interesting things. Sometimes you may be so lazy to go out but trust me, it's going to be better than you think! I also try to be myself, and be as outspoken as I can be. You now have a buffet of international exchange students from all over the world in front of you, why not just take the time to know their culture better? And maybe teach some hokkien bad words to your international friends lol.

For my school, we have a ebay on Facebook so people can sell and buy things. Do check those places out if you are interested to buy something but do not want to spend a lot.

Living by yourself in exchange also means lots of cooking. In Sweden, food is so expensive outside so I cooked almost every meal. I do not cook much in Singapore so it was actually pretty damn exciting to start making my own meals. I was more on the lazy side but you can be a masterchef here in exchange!

I also think exchange is a good time to set some personal goals. You are finally left to live by yourself without your family or any Singaporean friends, so it's just you and your discipline. I am regretful that I did not achieve my goal of losing weight LOL, because I drifted off so badly after my gym membership ended with my terrible eating habits. But I did exercise at least 4 times a week which was applaudable I suppose. Take this golden time of your life to make some changes, whether is it to eat better, exercise more, get that 6packs, lose weight, learn how to bake, learn how to knit, learn a new language... whatever it is. Exchange is actually a good time.

Lastly, stay in touch with your friends and family in Singapore. I was homesick for the first week and then never ever again LOL. But it always feels damn nice to skype/call/text those back home so that you stay in touch with their lives. Like really, seeing their faces just WARMS MY HEARTTTTT they have no idea.

10) Places I have visited throughout my exchange

This is just a summary of the places I've visited and my thoughts about them! I try to be as consized as possible, highlighting mainly the places YOU NEED TO GO, places YOU CAN DON'T NEED GO, duration at the city, accomodations I recommend and food to eat. ALSO I WENT ON THE SANDERMANS FREE WALKING TOUR WHENEVER I HAD TIME TO ON THE FIRST DAY WHEN I REACHED A CITY. They usually bring you to the highlights of the city and introduce the best things to do there.

Rome, Italy

3 August 2015 - 6 August 2015 Colosseum, Roman Forum and Palatine Hill were side by side and there's a ticket that covers all 3 entrances. PAY FOR TICKET! Vatican City visit is a must!!! I'm not the most historical person but this place blew me away. Go get cheaper tickets from the stand outside and go there earlier because we reached late and the tickets were sold out. Paid for those seemingly scamming tours but oh wells, pretty worth it. You can also choose to queue up (crazy queue) at the St. Peter's Square to enter for free, but I think just pay la, THE SUN AND QUEUE WAS CRAZY. St. Peter's Basilica, Sistine Chapel, Vatican Museums, etc.... Beautiful. PAY FOR TICKET! Pantheon was not bad but pales in comparison imo after I saw the churches in Vatican city lol. Spanish Steps is just steps... lor Trevi Fountain was renovating when we were there :( One famous gelato to try is Giolitti Gerlateria. It is walkable distance from the Pantheon! Not bad, just don't try g.nutella. HC and I chose it and totally regret 'cuz it was too damn dui (g stands for GAO, GAO NUTELLA)

Venice, Italy

7 August 2015- 8 August 2015 The only mode of transport in Venice is WATER TAXIS, ie they don't have cars/metro/buses. When you first reach Venice, buy their water taxi card depending on the number of days you are there for. It's quite pricey but no choice. I did not sit on a Gondola and think it is ok la, because really damn ex! There are 2 major islands in Venice, Burano and Murano. Murano is famous for its glass craftwork while Burano is the one with the colorful buildings. If you are short of time, give Murano a skip and just go to Burano. Murano got nothing much really unless you are into glass craftmanship! But can get a nice glass jewellery as a gift for your friends back though. Burano, on the other hand is super photogenic, just snap all your want and allocate more time here for some awesome shots. We had some time on hand so we went to Lido Beach too, which is awesome to see sunset. However, slightly out of way as it is the last stop of the water taxis. Nice spot to visit and chill if you've got some time. Food-wise, I Tre Mercanti is the place for yummy tiramisu. PISTACHIO ONE OMG. It's near to St Mark's Square, so just drop by for a taste!

Florence, Italy

9 August 2015 - 11 August 2015 Climb up to Piazzale Michelangelo for the beautiful sunset. Many people will already be there so be sure to reach early to grab a good spot and CAMP THERE. We reached pretty early but sat down and nua, to find out when the sun was setting, everyone freaking chiong and needed to squeeze a lil to get a good spot. Visit The Mall for outlet shops such as Gucci, MK, Prada etc. I got myself a MK bag and watch for a pretty decent price so yay! But take note it's quite a bus ride away from the city centre, and the price of the shuttle bus xiao ex. But since you are already on your way to getting yourself some luxury brands, don't hiam on the bus ticket LoL. Pointe Vecchio was pretty normal (right outside the airbnb I lived in!). Florence Cathedral was pretty unique and pretty to me! Florentine steak place to go is La Fettunta. It was my first time eating steak (lol) and it was yummy!!! And affordable too. Gelato choice is the famous Carapina!

Pisa, Italy

12 August 2016 We dropped by Pisa on our way to Cinque Terre to visit the Leaning Tower of Pisa :) Think of cool creative poses because everyone is doing the same ones. Also, be patient to take a nice photo because everyone gna photobomb you like every other famous attraction.

Cinque Terre, Italy

12 August 2015 - 13 August 2015 Can I say I super love this place?! It can easily be one of my favourite places throughout my entire exchange. I think I really liked the clear blue waters and the seafood and the sun and the swimming. However, it's quite hard to find airbnb there that was near to the islands. So book very early!! Ours was pretty damn faraway from all the beaches :( Cinque Terre consisted of 5 lands/islands and each land has a different feel to it. Wished I had more time to visit all of them. Only visited 3 (Manarola, Riomaggiore and Monterosso al Mare) in the end, and decided to stay at Riomaggiore 'cuz lesser people. It can get really crowded!!! Siao right, so crowded. Swim if you can! And cliffdive! And wear chio swimsuit! I got many scratches though because the rocks are super sharp but YOLOOOOOO.

Milan, Italy

14 August 2015 Nothing much happened as it was a stopover :(

Paris, France

15 August 2015 - 17 August 2015 Besides the Eiffel Tower, visit the Palace of Versailles! You need to take a more ex train because it's further away. The Palace was sadly closed when we were there :( But I heard it's really beautiful, at least the Gardens of Versailles which was opened gave me a good impression! One of my fav Sandermans walking tour was in Paris too! So definitely go for it. We then got tickets to Montparnasse, which is the highest point in Paris to view the Eiffel Tower and the city landscape at night. This was what we saw, and the ticket from Sandermans. I think can don't go up if wanna save! Just view it from below under the Eiffel Tower for free :) Near Mountparnasse though, there is a street filled with yummy pancake cafes. We wanted to visit La Crêperie de Josselin but it was closed the two times we were there. So we randomly visited one and it was still good. Just google for Josselin and you will find that street filled with all the pancake shops. I visited The Louvre museum too and got the tickets at 18euro to skip the line. Sadly, I was bored as hell and it was stuffy inside. Really no need to go in unless you really sibei artsy fartsy. I guess at least I can haolian that I saw the real Mona Lisa painting. But really quite bohua if you dk how to appreciate. A regret is not visiting the Disneyland Paris. It's a bit far away and we did not have time for it. Would totally wna visit it if I had a chance!

Amsterdam, The Netherlands

18 August 2015 - 20 August 2015 I went for the Red Light District free tour by Sandermans again and it was interesting! I mean, the whole rld is really eye-opening because you finally get to see the fishtanks people talk about. NO PHOTOGRAPHY THOUGH!!! Don't be a ccb and stick to the rules ok, 'cuz I really saw one lady scolding a tourist who took photos super fiercely. Not fun. There's also a 2euro cheap thrill shop, where you see people do stuff in a container for a few minutes for just 2 Euro. Ok la yolo And for weed... try but rmb weed stays in your system for 4 days la I heard. Don't kena caught in airport. Visited the Anne Frank museum too! Read it in school before and it's just really cool to visit it myself. The ticket is 9.50 euro and it is really quite small. But if you have cash to spare, go because it's like whatever you learnt in school come to life!!! It is about same as what you read from the book, just that you really see it real life I guess. Vondelpark was great to chill and watch how the Danish people cycle and enjoy life. I took a 2 hr nap on the grasspatch too, shiiiiiiiiiok Albert Cuyp Market is da bomb 'cuz food haven. It's not the cheapest but ok priced la if you share share. Please try this if you like fish!!! It's called Herring. I love the taste of it though my friends hate it :( Also, not sure it will still be there but there is a Birkenstock shop that sells reasonably cheap Birks!!! Some good beer place recommended by Van (who is beer expert) is Brouwerij 't IJ. I got damn tipsy I don't even know why, like I almost blacked out while I went to the toilet. LOL.

Helsinki, Finland

25 October 2015 - 28 October 2015 (duration was ok, since there was a day trip to Tallinn) This was my solo trip and I took a ferry to Helsinki. It's a pretty calm and safe place to visit. I visited Suomenlinna, which is a UNESCO heritage site. was ok LOL hahahaha I visited the Temppeliaukio Church, which is really cool church made from a rock! I do not know if the Market Square was just like that but there weren't many many stalls as I expected, so I was pretty sad. I walked everywhere and did not spend on transport. I suppose when you are alone you have more time to do what you want haha I stayed at Eurohostel and got a single room. The location is damn good, near the Market Square, Helsinki Cathedral and the ferry port. Helsinki in general is pretty boring (maybe I did not explore enough) but I did enjoy myself some alone time and did not feel lonely at all. Definitely do a solo trip if possible!

Tallinn, Estonia

27 October 2015 (1 day is sufficient) Took a 2-hr ferry from Helsinki to Tallinn, which is an old town. I spent less than a day there and went back to Helsinki. Simply roamed around Tallinn, enjoyed the architecture and ate some Estonian food too! From Helsinki you can take a ferry to Russia too, wished I had time to visit a little of Russia too!

London, United Kingdom

30 October 2015 - 3 November 2015 (Could have added one more day to visit the Emirates Stadium (and get sth for YH), and for shopping if you want) Was pretty honored to be brought around by Yvette HAHA so Peizi and I basically followed her and did not do much thinking. We visited Borough Market and Camden Food Market for fooOooOooOood. Gosh there were so much variety and I WANTED TO EAT EVERYTHING. Just something to make you excited about food markets in general. Pz and I also queued up early (we reached about 9ish am) on the day of the musical, at the ticket office at Apollo Victoria Theatre to buy discounted tickets for Wicked. Surprisingly, we were the only ones there LOL so hennnng ah, got our front row tickets (I mean like right smack in centre, front row, so good u feel a bit paiseh) seats for only 29.50 pounds. It's a huge discount considering the seats we are getting. So definitely worth considering! And can I say I super loved it!??!?! If I were to start London again, I would definitely watch a musical a day. Watched Wicked on our last night, so no more musicals! 10/10 WORTH THE PRICE! Visited the Harry Potter Studios and had to chiong all my Harry Potter movies. I thought pounds as euros so I got the tickets wtffff end up it was 33 pounds. Oh wells, but definitely eye opening. We went on the 6pm tour and we did not really visit the entire thing fully (it closes at 10pm). So try to book the earlier tours to really see everything, it is a free and easy tour :) Lucky for me, I chionged my HP movies and was able to understand what was happening. Pz didn't HAHAHA. Only go if you are a Harry Potter fan!!! Because the ticket is really quite ex. You need to book the tickets in advance and the timeslots avail do run out fast. Also note that the HP studio is a lil out of London so we had to take a train which costs almost 20sgd to the studios. Other awesome things to do in London is go for the walking tour where they bring you to see the London Eye, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Big Ben etc. And eat Lobster and Burgers!!!! GOSHHHH Just to pre-empt you, London Bridge is really underwhelming. Tower Bridge on the other hand, is pretty!! And go shopping if you can, OXFORD STREET. I had to restrict myself because London was my first stop and I had to watch my baggage restrictions. Maybe can make London your last stop so you can shop enough, buy additional baggage space and go back to your uni. Wanted to watch a soccer match but there weren't matches while we were there. Some London people can be quite racist, just saying.

Lisbon, Portugal

3 November 2015 - 5 November 2015 (duration is sufficient!) I loved Lisbon!! Look at all the beautiful tiles everywhereeee. Although the streets here are all pretty steep. On the places that I don't think you need to pay for, just visit can already: Belém Tower, Santa Justa lift and Jerónimos Monastery. I got the Lisboa card, hence these attractions were free. However, if you are not getting the Lisboa card then no need buy tickets for them. The famous Portugese egg tarts were heavenly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pasteis de Belem OMG. Haven't eaten dan tats like theirs. Also try the hot chocolate, yumzzzz. Another place I enjoyed was the Time Out Mercado da Ribeira. It is actually quite modern and slightly pricey, but serves awesome food. Like a higher end food court. Try the seafood risotto! Also, there is a Best Chocolate Cake ever from O Melhor Bolo de Chocolate do Mundo. But it was realllllly normal lol. We had time and visited a town Cascais for its beaches but it was very underwhelming. Was quite sure we were at the right place, but we caught a very beautiful sunset :) I wanted to find the airbnb I stayed in but I can't. However, the address is: Rua da Esperança 8 Lisboa, Lisboa 1200 Portugal (nearest Metro station: Cais do Sodre) Anywhere around this area is good!

Rotterdam, The Netherlands

6 November 2015 - 7 November 2015 (sufficient duration to roam around and shop) Basically visited Rotterdam because pz stays there and I get free accomodation hehe. I did not do much there except shop at Primark. I visited the Blaak Markt too and there were many things sold there such as food, flowers, clothes etc. My kind of thing! I did visit the Kinderdijk, a windmill area in Rotterdam myself. It was quite out of the way but definitely pretty. Wished I had cycled there if I had more time!!

Brussels, Belgium

7 November 2015 - 8 November 2015 (sufficient for me) This was a solo trip again and I took a bus from Rotterdam to Belgium cheap. Was expecting the chocolates to be damn heavenly but sadly idk if it's just me, but the chocolates are pretty underwhelming. Was googling for the best chocolate around, went there but the chocos were meh and pricey. Visited a flea market, Jeu de Balle, and I really liked it. They sell everything and anything! My kind of shopping. I stayed at Hôtel de Ville de Bruxelles which was walkable to all the normal touristy places. And the hotel was not bad too.

Stockholm, Sweden

13 November 2015 - 16 November 2015 (sufficient for me) Finally visited where I always stopover at. The best takeaway was prolly finally meeting Mandy and watching my first ice-hockey match! Although I did not understand a single thing about ice-hockey prior to the match, the atmosphere is just awesome! Visited the Vaasa museum which was pretty much an eyeopener. I really liked it, so go visit if you can! However, Skansen (a zoo and museum) and the museum I visited in Gamla Stan (I don't even rmb the name) was mehhhh. I followed the tour around Gamla Stan and it was interesting to know the history and background of Sweden.

Barcelona, Spain

15 December 2015 - 17 December 2015 (sufficient duration) Thank goodness the weather was so much more bearable than in Sweden. We did not pay for La Sagrada Familia but the exterior is so pretty, except for the ongoing construction LOL. However, we paid for entrance of Casa Batlló..... gosh not worth it. Visited Casa Milà (lame), Park Güell (think it have been beautiful if it was in the morning) and Magic Fountain of Montjuïc (however it was closed during winter T_T). Nonetheless the food made up for it. Churros, paella, tapas, llao llao (they taste the same as Singapore's). Food market: Mercado de La Boqueria Paella to try: As long as it is a paella. Ok where I went was La Tertulia but it was xiao ex Tapas: La Flauta We also visited Camp Nou but I did not enter due to time constraint. Not a soccer fan so not too much a loss for me! We walked everywhere without public transport. Also, from the airport to city centre you needed to take the shuttle bus, at 10.50eur if I did not remember wrongly. I reached at midnight alone at Barcelona but many mama shops were still open, and our airbnb was walkable from the city centre. Decent airbnb and the host was super friendly: link

Cologne, Germany

18 December 2015 - 19 December 2015 (sufficient for me) Welcomed Christmas season with all dem Germany's Christmas markets. Definitely up a notch for the xmas atmosphere this year. Very very crowded but 'tis a season to be jolly! I didn't do much in Cologne 'cept shopped at Primark HAHA. Just take note that during xmas times, it's very hard to find accomodations because hosts usually do not host you during xmas so book hostels earlier!

Hamburg, Germany

20 December 2015 - 21 December 2015 (sufficient for me) Another Xmas market by the Town hall! Took the time to go on the walking tour. Hostel we stayed was Generator Hostel Hamburg, super convenient and pretty.

Dresden, Germany

22 December 2015 - 23 December 2015 (sufficient for me) Bussed via Flixbus to Dresden and the buses were really comfy!! Xmas markets again and did some shopping since there was shopping streets near us. Tried Glühwein, a common xmas wine and I HATE IT. You can keep the cup or get a refund for the cups. But it's really heavy to collect mugs, so only collect if you rly like the design. The food in xmas markets are usually rather overpriced. And of course how can I not try some wurst (German hotdog)! Quite normal but just try la since already in Germany and they are everywhere!

Berlin, Germany

24 December 2015 - 25 December 2015 (could have one more day to visit more since there is soooo much history!) My favourite city out of the 4 I've visited in Germany, so much history and super interesting city. We visited Berlin on Christmas Day so basically everywhere was closed. And so I went on a concentration camp tour at Sachsenhausen Memorial for almost the entire day and it was mindblowing. This is a paid tour (14eur) by Sandermans and WORTH IT. Just remember to get your train tickets beforehand! Cheaper if you have 4 people to share with. Took quite a while to find out where the Berlin wall was LOL... it was pretty far from where we stayed gosh, but HAVE. TO. GO! Even if you live in West Germany (which I did). Do allocate more time if you want to take photos and walk through the entire wall... I didn't have sufficient time to walk everything. Food-wise, we wanted to try pork knuckles before we left Germany. Food-wise, we visited the famous Hofbrau Munchen Berlin for our xmas dinner. The food was yummy but the service SUXXXXXXXXX. Not sure if it's because it's xmas so everyone is damn angsty or what.

Prague, Czech Republic

26 December 2015 - 28 December 2015 (can shorten a bit!) This was the only city we took the transportation for free. The old town square has no fountain/wishing well LOL. Jolin was lying :( And the Charles Bridge is so crowded, walked it several times. But the Prague Astronomical Clock was just nearby so worthy to take photos there, though it is just a clock, but still a cool clock. I liked the Prague Castle too, really pretty. A place to oversee Prague's landscape is Petřín. A place for traditional Prague dishes at affordable price is U Parlamentu, it's nearby the Old Town Square. Dancing House was pretty underwhelming, no need go if no time. Our airbnb was great, shared with other strangers but we even made friends with the other Chinese girls pretty cool. Almost everywhere I wanted to go to in Prague was walkable from the Old Town Square, so it was quite convenient. Airbnb: link

Copenhagen, Denmark

29 December 2015 - 1 January 2016 (can shorten a bit, or probably just hated the weather LOL) Not sure if it's just me, but I really HATED the weather in CPH. The winds were so strong and the sky is constantly gloomy :( And it was very very cold, like it felt even colder than in Sweden. Little Mermaid statue was pretty out of the way and very underwhelming, as you can expect. The trip was pretty sian because I really hated the weather and we had to walk about 5km or so out to the city centre everyday. But my highlight gotta be visiting Freetown Christiania, which is a self-proclaimed autonomous neighborhood. They call it the Green Light Zone because there are so much weed. But rmb no photography! So interesting though the smell of weed was literally everywhere. Definitely an interesting place to visit.

Malmo, Sweden

30 December 2015 (a day trip is sufficient) Took a day trip to Sweden on a bus from CPH, wasn't very expensive. Malmö didn't have many things to do but my main aim was to visit Ikea and try meatballs. So I did. Not sure if it's a psychological thing but Ikea meatballs just feel more legit when eaten in Sweden ;)

Reykjavik, Iceland

2 January 2016 - 6 January 2016 (can extend, there are still many amazing things I could have done/ places to visit in Iceland) Instead of driving around as I was the only driver, we booked everything under tour packages. I recce all the tour packages and found out these were the cheapest (although nothing is really cheap here LOL). Northern lights tour: We flew wowair so there were some promotions for the tours, which was organised by Reykjavik Excursions, and we paid SGD63.24/pax. Southern Iceland Tour: Consisted of to and fro from Blue Lagoon (entrance fee not included), Southern Iceland tour and Golden Circle tour. The company we hired was bustravel, and we paid SGD273.40/pax. For the Northern lights tour, you check the Reyjavik Excursions Facebook page to keep updated if the tour is on as it is subject to weather conditions. As the appearance of aurora is unpredictable, we went on the first night we reached to maximise our chances of seeing aurora. You can keep rebooking the tours, whether you see the aurora or not, and it's valid for 1 year. So no worries! For the Southern Iceland tour, I really enjoyed myself. Had a terribly hard time walking on slippery glaciers LOL bring better shoes if can because I literally felt I would slip and die anytime. But the view was worth it. Blue lagoon was pretty overpriced though it is definitely a must go. The tour only included the transportation so we had to book the entrance ticket ourselves. Book early because if you book when you are there, chances are you will not get it. We paid for the 55eur COMFORT package and it was certainly comfortable. You get a drink and some trial mud mask thing, beer by Blue Lagoon is quite shiok experience. To take photos, do bring along those transparent handphone holders from Singapore yourself! They sell it there but really expensive. This makes taking photos with your phone easier, you don't want to get your phone wet. Another favourite view of mine is the Gullfoss. We decided to do Icelandic horseriding at the last minute at Laxnes Horse Farm. It wasn't a bad experience, but I was feeling extremely cold and sorry for the horses lol. Got boring after a while as the horses weren't galloping all the time. Definitely can skip this if you are not into horseriding, wasn't cheap either! But at least, my first horseriding experience checked! Food-wise, we tried some Icelandic food and didn't like it, wasn't cheap too:( So maybe just buy one dish for everyone to try. We stayed at Baldursbra Guesthouse Reykjavik which is avail for pickup for the tours we did, and there is free breakfast! Everything was nice about the place :) Once you sign with the tour, the bus will state a time to pick you up so you just wait at your guesthouse for pickup and start your day! It's pretty convenient this way. Also, they send u back to your guesthouse at the end of the tour. *** This is all and hope it has helped a little! Enjoy yourself because exchange is really a privilege and stay safe! Signing off, Jasmine

[mysticsparklewings]

Elizabeth Tower in Bloom

Finally! It took forever, but it's done! I'm going to assume no one remembers this old Paris Project I did a couple of years ago. It was a sort-of bonus project for my high school art class, as it wasn't a regular class assignment that was graded. It was for a contest-type-thing? I'm not entirely sure. It went to a college and got an Honorable Mention.   Well, when I was due for another project for my current college class, after having some time away from the original to shake off the post-required-creation-dissonance (because you can tell from the description that initially when I got done with it, I was fed up with the whole thing by then), I thought maybe a recreation or sequel could work. I asked my teacher, she liked the idea. And in terms of a sequel, based on location alone, my first thought was Big Ben in London. For what it's worth, I got a two-pack of 18"x24" Canvases, the same size as the original Paris Project, and when I started trying to measure and draw out the Clock Tower (Big Ben is actually the name of the bell inside), I almost immediately said "Nope, too hard!" And switched to the Golden Gate Bridge instead. But then my mom came in, and after talking to her a little more poking around with references, I went back to Big Ben on the second canvas. (Which means I will most likely pick the Golden Gate Bridge up again if there is ever a third one of these). Honestly, the longest and most tedious part (not counting mixing paint and ink colors because good Lord did that take waaaay longer than it should have), was probably sketching out the Clock Tower and trying to get the proportions right. It is a very illustrative/stylistic model, but the original project did more or less the same thing with the Eiffel Tower. I was trying to keep mostly in line with that, as well as realism is just not something that interests me. There is an entire debate to be had here, but I feel like, if you're going to learn art, that realism is easier to learn that stylistic. Though I am admittedly biased in this opinion since I'm basing my conclusion in part on my experiences with realism and at least two art Youtubers that I'm subscribed to that are used to doing realism and have both said on more than one occasion that they've struggled to learn to draw more stylistically. Anyway. After that, I really just had to paint the tower and then get to the fun part of adding all of the stuff sticking off of it.   That process began with the clock itself. I did not have the patience to draw all those teeny little details out by hand, so luckily my computer was able to help me out with that bit. So with two naked clock faces at odd angles, I was then left to ask what I wanted to do about the hands. In the meantime, I glued two thin layers of foam stuff to the faces, outlined the details with glittery gel pens, and got them attached to the canvas. I ended up going to Micheals, hoping for a clock stamp or stencil or stickers or something. Would you believe there were no clock stamps? Or at least none that I could find/that would fit my needs?  And I only found one pack of stickers that were all clock themed; the four little clocks you see in the upper-left and bottom-right corners, and even it was out of place. I thought I was going crazy! Why no clocks?? But then I stumbled upon an actual clock-making section. It wasn't very big and there wasn't a ton of stuff to pick from, but they did have some actual clock hands, so I picked up those. And I was admittedly thisclose to buying a set that had the hands and a motor for making the clock actually tick/tell time, but I vetoed the idea because I was not confident in my ability to punch a hole in the canvas where I needed it, etc. And which clock face would I have picked anyway? And it might not even tell time correctly since the shapes of the clocks are weird...and so on. Also, I didn't even know where to begin with picking a specific time for the clock to display, so I just went with where I initially just kind of haphazardly placed them to see how the little rhinestones I wanted to use (and did use) to cover up the holes at the base of the hands would look. The hands were already oversized, so I thought the "kooky clock" thing would work nicely. All the pieces made a nice happy little-sandwiched family after making the acquaintance of some liquid glass (think hot glue but squeezable and room-temperature). Then I realized I was not the most thought-out designer because I decided I wanted to outline the clock tower bits around the clock face with the gold tinsel pipe cleaner. The addition of the clock face made this a bit trickier, at least as far as placement goes. And then I discover that tinsel pipe cleaner, apparently, basically repels glue . I taught it a lesson after cleaning up the mess and borrowing my mom's hot glue gun, though. I then uncovered just how badly a project like this is begging for a die-cutting machine. If you don't know what that is, it's essentially a printer for fancy paper cut-outs. You put the paper and a stencil in a special tray formation thing, send it through the machine, and it spits out the paper cut out according to the stencil. I made the mistake of watching the Home Shopping Network one night where they were using one of these things, and I have honestly never been more tempted to actually purchase something from them. And once I learned how crazy in-efficient trying to cut a butterfly stencil with segmented wings out with nothing but an Exacto knife and scissors is, I really wished I had...I still kind of do, but the cheapest ones are around $70, not including the materials. I just don't think I'd use it often enough to warrant the price. But I did eventually muddle through with the resources I had to craft the little two-layer butterflies you see flying towards the clock face. I placed them that way with the idea that the clocks here are more or less flowers, and the text on each butterfly's backwings is theoretically readable. (I say theoretically because while it is facing the correct way, it is still a looping, stylistically messy cursive print, with even I have trouble making out.) The top layer is just printed stamps going in all directions. I wanted those to have wing segments poked out, but the process of doing that by hand was just oh-so-tedious I couldn't stand it. I had to do something else to keep my sanity. (And to be fair, I was kind of on a deadline here.) Which reminds me, I love my mother, but this project taught me exactly why I usually don't get her involved with a piece until it's either finished of I've reached a stalemate. She had all these ideas and experiments and things to try. It was good to have someone to bounce ideas off of, but I really did not appreciate when I would tell her I didn't like an idea and she just would not let it go. Especially after one instance where she wanted to use these little stamps to make holes in the butterfly wings and I told her what I was picturing in my mind looked tacky and I didn't want to try it, but she would not rest until she did, and then she agreed that it looked tacky. After I got the butterflies put together, I put together the leaves and the clock stickers. Some of the leaves were actually leftovers from my Why, Curious Butterflies! Piece, but I did make a few new ones. But ultimately it didn't matter because I ended up flipping them all over and using my green Tombow brush markers to color them again.   At that point, the individual pieces were good, but the overall piece (with the objects just temporarily stuck on with tape) just looked kind of naked. Fortunately, I was able to find some cheery blossom stickers I bout but never used for the Paris Project. They filled out the edges pretty nicely and made the clock-flowers seem more at home. But there was still something missing. Mom had let me borrow some leftover fabric from an apron-making fit she had a while back in case I wanted to use it, so I ended up cutting out the bird on the bottom left and the nest in the top right. There was a hummingbird too, but I couldn't cut the felt I attached to all three for a little more dimension and stability on him to suit me, so he was ultimately nixed. Since I had few of each thing printed on the fabric and they were scraps anyway, I cut out some pieces and used some tiny wood shapes to try and emulate these dimensional sticker things I've also seen on the Home Shopping Network. It's not very obvious when you look at the piece straight-on, but I think the problem has more to do with me being afraid of how far out the individual pieces should stick than a flaw in the idea. I had also originally purchased some floral wire from the dollar store, thinking I could outline the Tower and some details with it, but I learned very quickly that once the stuff gets bent or bumped, it's very difficult--dare I say impossible--to get it smooth and straight again, which wasn't going to work for what I wanted to do. So that idea got scrapped. But I was just tinkering around with it, trying to think of how else to fill out the canvas, and came up with the idea to do swirlies, kind of like vines for the clock flowers. Now, in my last WIP picture, you could also see some very thin silver swirlies too, but I ditched those because they didn't really fit with much else and I really just made them because I was in class, out of other things to do, and did not feel like or have enough time left in class to pursue a classroom hot-glue-gun to start attaching things. (If there's one thing I know how to do, it's pittle around and waste time ) Still, there was something missing. So before I started gluing, I went with an idea that had been lurking in the back of my mind all along. I took the last butterfly stencil with wing segments that I had, grabbed one of my Tombow markers, took everything I could off of the canvas (so everything but the cherry blossom branches and the tower and it's clock face bits) and started printing the pattern by hand. I did essentially the same thing with paint in blue and pink on the Paris Project, but those two stencils ended up getting stuck to the canvas to bring out a couple of the butterflies. There, the butterflies were sort of additional flowers. Here, my intentional was a leaves/vines kind of look. The palate was so warm otherwise, I felt like it was begging for an additional, much cooler pop of color, and my eyes really liked the green from the leaves, so I went with that. In hindsight, maybe I could've done some green and some about the shade of baby-blue that the eggs in the bird's nest are, but that didn't cross my mind at the time. I also thought to do some in gold, but the one shade I had that I could've used was just too yellow for my liking. And thus, here we are. (And for the record it was a pain in the neck to try to stencil those things around all the stuff that was stuck to the canvas!) My mom thinks it's busy and there's a lack of cohesion. I can understand where she's coming from, but I like busy. (This arguably relates to our fashion sense as well; I like busy, she likes plain) And I also think she may have gotten too used to seeing it in-process when it was mostly naked. Ultimately, I wouldn't say it's perfect, but my vision has for the most part been fulfilled, and thus I am happy with it. It's a good thing I took a picture of it though because lord only knows when I'll be getting it back  But I will get to see it at least one more time for the college's art festival Thursday night. Hopefully, with the holidays right around the corner, I'll find time to finally start working on personal pieces again. I just haven't had the time these past few weeks.  (If nothing else, expect a supply test from me after Christmas--the Faber Castell Polychromos are here! In the house! I touched the box!  But I can't have them until Christmas. ) Also, I'm working on a website as one last class assignment, so be on the lookout for that! I'm actually having a lot of fun with it! ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

[junk-folder]

It was a slow day for being the middle of the summer, even if it was a weekday. He'd had little more than a few teenagers traipsing through the aisles, nabbing brightly colored snacks and sugary drinks from the shelves, almost certainly to enjoy on long and aimless walks. There was really little else to do in this town - he often resorted to the same past time himself. Redual figured all the yuppies who usually stopped in must have hit the road to places with lakes where they could go fishing and boating.

He didn't bother to look up from his sweeping when he heard the bell above the door chime its usual merry jingle. "Welcome to Ollie's," he called out, obscured by a shelf of chips and trail mix, to let the new customer know someone was in the store; he was the only one on shift until later in the afternoon. In response, he only heard gentle foot steps on the dingy concrete floor, barely perceptible over the music playing from the phone he'd tucked away in his pocket. He bobbed his head along to the beat, mouthing the words:

They heard me singing and they told me to stop

Quit these pretentious things and just punch the clock

These days, my life, I feel it has no purpose

But late at night the feelings swim to the surface

'Cause on the suburbs the city lights shine,

They're calling at me, 'come and find your kind'

"Is this Arcade Fire?" Redual's heart leapt from his chest to his throat at the familiar voice behind him. When he spun around, he was met with those lively, intense orange eyes - he felt his lips moving, but all that came out was unintelligible stammering, like the wires connecting his brain to his mouth had been snipped. "Oh, hi - uh - y-yeah, it's... It is." Oh, God. Oh, fuck. Why did he have to come in now?

The pale, dark-haired boy giggled sheepishly, hiding his smile with his hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I didn't know you worked here." Abraham's tone was nothing besides pleasant, but Redual could feel the heat of embarrassment traveling from his chest to his cheeks and ears; he averted his gaze, clutching the broom against him. The last thing on earth he wanted to be in the other boy's mind was the white trash deadbeat who never left his tiny, shitty hometown and worked at a gas station. Could he be any more pathetically cliché?

He offered a stiff shrug of his shoulders, aiming for nonchalant when he forced a perfunctory smile. "It's just something to hold me over for now," he excused lamely. "I'm actually looking for a second job to save up money. But uh - how've you been? How's renovating the house going?"

Abe brushed past him to peruse the drink selection; Redual's eyes trailed after him. Suddenly the music seemed too loud, and he fumbled to turn it down while it sang out,

We rode our bikes to the nearest park

Sat under the swings, we kissed in the dark

We shield our eyes from the police lights

We run away, but we don't know why

And like a mirror these city lights shine

They're screaming at us, 'we don't need your kind'

Abraham hadn't seemed to pay any mind, though, forefinger under his chin while he spoke, focused on the cooler in front of him. "Honestly, it's... a little difficult. I don't really know what I'm doing, and the house is really empty right now because Mother cleared everything out." He didn't want to admit he was so lonely in that place with bare walls and perpetually cold floors - it seemed too open to dump his feelings on this virtual stranger. Being there did leave him feeling undeniably hollow, though. He finally plucked a bottle of green tea from the fridge.

"Well, I meant it when I said I'd be happy to help." Abraham was a little surprised by Redual's earnestness, and he tossed him a glance, smiling softly. Redual's stomach somersaulted and he swallowed, suddenly feeling torn about his offer. He was so fucking awkward - he hadn't really had friends since high school, and even back then, the people he knew weren't friends so much as people he got high and drunk with. If he could barely keep himself from being a mess now, what was it going to be like when he was alone with Abraham in his house?

Yet somehow he didn't hesitate to nod when the boy contested, "Are you sure? It's a lot of work." In fact, he was surprised at how easily he persisted.

"It sounds like you need the help, and I've done a lot of odd jobs for folks around town - not to mention repairs on my own place." Your fucking white trash trailer, you mean, that dark little whisper crept in. "Besides, Michelle is always telling me I need to get out more. It'd be nice to have something to do." His grin was crooked and genuine.

Abraham played with the label on his tea in contemplation, breezing by the other boy again and walking toward the counter at the front of the store. "Well, you said you're looking for another job - what if I paid you?" He chewed on his lower lip nervously. He couldn't imagine why Redual would be so nice to him, let alone want to spend any time with him, especially after those rumors he'd surely caught wind of in school.. But maybe offering some incentive could make their exchange mutually beneficial.

Redual gawked after him. "I couldn't take your money. I mean, my work is real hodge-podge - I'm not professional by any stretch, I just know how to do some simple repairs and yard work and things like that —"

"Really, I insist. You'd be doing me such a great favor." Abraham smiled politely at him over his shoulder, and Redual seemed to snap out of his daze, rushing behind the counter to ring him up. "Besides, you said you're looking for another job, right? It works out for both of us."

"I mean.... W-would your mom be okay with it? I don't want to intrude. Uh, that'll be $2.58"

Abraham shrugged, pulling a few dollar bills from his wallet. I don't really care, he wanted to say, but he saved face. "She's actually giving me a stipend for the work I'm doing. I don't think she entirely trusts me to do it on my own, if I'm being honest, but I'm the cheapest labor she has access to, so here I am. I'm sure getting it done better and faster will be a plus in her book." In reality, if she knew who he was getting help from, she'd probably have a shit fit - but why would she have to find out? He deposited the change from their transaction into his pocket.

Redual's curls came away tousled and messy after he raked his fingers through them. "I'm... Well, I mean, I'd be happy to do it for free." Abraham's face was a little hard to read; Redual thought he looked almost taken aback.

"Do you have a pen and paper?"

Redual slid a notebook across the counter to him, and in his neat and delicate penmanship, Abraham scrawled the address and his number across the page. He pushed it back towards the cashier.

"Text me and let me know a good day and time for you?" Redual was starting to hate that nervous fluttering in his stomach every time their eyes met. He smiled and nodded, looking down to the paper.

"I'm off at 4:30. I'll let you know what's up. I might even be able to make it over today if you need the help."

"Thank you, Redual. I really appreciate it. I like this song, too, by the way."

By now, a new one had started playing, and The Killers called after Abraham as he walked out the door.

You sit there in your heartache

Waiting on some beautiful boy to

To save your from your old ways

You play forgiveness

Watch it now, here he comes

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus

But he talks like a gentleman

Like you imagined when you were young

Redual stared after him, watching him through the storefront windows until he ducked into his car and disappeared down the road.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW4

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

All of them. Full Wildcard Squad:

Foster

Blind Jones Naughton Mee

Eriksen Salah Brady

Kane Lukaku Firmino

--

Elliot Jese Chalobah Francis.4 itb

The Phil shout, while proving to be entertaining pod banter, is just a bit too soon and a risk too great. After more fucking around and consulting some wise FPL managing friends I decided to put Rom back in. He still has four good on paper fixtures on the horizon it felt too rogue and dumb to go without in the end. Dull approach, but hoping it is the sensible one. I don't want to tank my season just because I had two bad gameweeks. Need to set up for the medium term and keeping Lukaku in just feels like the right decision.

My real flair shout is Jese. I was looking around that 6m bracket a lot and while Richarlison has the stats I just can't get past how absurdly bad their fixture run is. There are a few names from the promoted sides knocking around but just didn't feel great with any of them. Jese has that classy look about him and I can bench him for the tough games. Happily taking a punt there so we'll see. 

GK:

Foster will go. I did give a bit of thought towards keeping Fabianski but in the end I wanted a piece of the WBA defense and Foster is the cheapest nailed route in. They look a lot better this season and Pulis is properly going for that 1-0 each game. The addition of Kcrycykrkykrhhghwiak plus their defenders getting healthier will only help. At Brighton I have a feeling will not be a clean though. Brighton have been shit but they'll be very hungry for their first league goal at the Amex. Hopefully it doesn't come. He does also rotate well with Elliot...although....I am not sure I will bench Foster in his tough games yet. That is a problem for another day.

DEF:

I'm going to run out four defenders this weekend as I will be in a sort of hybrid 343 / 433 benching Jese in a few of his difficult fixtures in the near term. I'm sure he'll make me rue that decision but I'm going to just play the fixtures. I've never, ever done this in my FPL career - bench a non-4.5 mid with a bad fixture in favor of a cheap defender with a good fixture - so we'll see how it goes.

Blind and Jones will be set and forgets at the back. Hopefully I don't get fucked with Blind and rotation with UCL starting up although I probably will. Kill for Darmian in UCL and Blind in the League. Worst case, I still have depth to cover if he misses any games.

I switched from Ward to Mee when I looked a little closer at their stat comparison. A Mee goal is coming and I'd like to have that. Praying to all things in life that Mee drops tonight down to 4.4 as it would be shitty to see him on -98 or something after the price changes happen.

Finally, new boner inducing fuckfest Naughton goes. Part of the reason why I am keeping some money in the bank and not finding a way to get another 5.0 in defense is because of my love of Naughton and desire to start him rather than have him sitting on my bench as cover. Go the fuck on Kyle. Hopefully Clement sticks with the three at the back experiment and he keeps playing as RWB. If that is truly the case I think he's the best value defender to own in the entire game.

MID:

Eriksen vs Alli was a tough one. Alli's suspension for the first couple group games in UCL does give him a little feather in his cap as Alon would say but I just fucking don't like him. He's still "good" but fuck him. Just as likely to go out and have a cheeky stamp or something and get a red card. Eriksen is in the form of his life and involved in everything and more so I'll hold him. Hopefully some goals are coming with him. I just love Eriksen.

Salah is the most obvious pick on the planet on WC. Will not spend time discussing his inclusion.

Finally, it feels great to have the Irish Messi and this year's Mahrez in the side - Robbie Brady. The new soup du jour the new legend leader fuckfest. Burnley look great and his underlying stats are terrific. Wood will be a good target for him as well and I think he'll be a fantastic steady stream of points. Love him. Love the fuck out of him.

FWD:

Here is where the party is. Lukaku stays. Hoping pens will be off him so he doesn't get anymore -2s the big Belgian donkey fuck.

Kane was straight the fuck in. I can emerge from behind the couch watching Spurs and just be happy when the best player in FPL scores points.

Finally, Bobby Firm was also straight the fuck in. I'm not gay, not that there's anything wrong with that, but if I were I'd absolutely let Bobby stick it in my bum.

CAP:

Sticking with my dull nature it is on Rom...again. Fourth game running - hey say what you will about my backsliding from exclamatory pod shouts but I am nothing if not consistent. The hypocrisy from that last sentence is just too fantastic for me to delete it and re-word it. No Shawcross and potentially no Zouma for Stoke suddenly makes Rom a lot more attractive. I really do believe Wimmer is shit and I think they could be in real trouble if Zouma doesn't make it. Go on Rom. Just don't miss another pen you piece of shit.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Prince Kev and dududu dudu dudu Gini Wijnaldum

IN: Mo Salah/Salad/Sarah/Pauline and Robbie Brady

Simplest transfers that I’ve ever made. These were basically locked in as soon as City match hit 90′ two weeks ago and it hasn’t changed since. It leaves me a ton of money in the bank which I’m hoping will facilitate something like Mariappa->Alonso and a change to 4-3-3 for me after this GW assuming nothing else goes wrong.

I would guess that like 90% of pod listeners could’ve guessed my two transfers given the opportunity. Let’s go.

GK:

Nothing new here. Tom Heaton maybe will get me north of 3 points for the first time all season which would be delightful, he’s been completely horrible thus far. Home Palace is as good as it gets though so I’m very much hoping for a clean. Walsh vetoed us going for Burnley in the Survivor League so whatever I’ll have to get it out here.

DEF:

The usual. The three amigos. My defense has carried me to where I need to be in this moment so I can only hope they keep kicking the fuck on.

Phil Jones is a no brainer nothing needs to be said there Stoke suck dick and they look like cleans every week.

Ryan Berty is a good guy although I’m a little worried because Southampton are just so underwhelming and Watford look pretty good this season. A little ambitious to hope for a clean but maybe he’ll get an attacking return or bones, he’s always good, can return any week vs. anyone.

And lastly soup man Kyle Naughton... just listen to the pod and Walsh’s jizzing over him to capture our feels on him. He made the episode artwork for a reason. Get in.

MID:

Not the most fearsome foursome in the game right now but I’m in a transitional period as I said above moving to the 4-3-3 over two GWs. I didn’t think that it was worth taking a hit to start a defender over Chalobah who’s a good shout for a three pointer, if not nailed for a two pointer minimum.

Low chance of gaining on that hit, no need for it yet, so Chalobah gets a start again for me. Like I said, 3 pointer sounds very real from where I’m sitting as Soton cannot score so let’s go on and maybe I get lucky.

Daveed survives another week in the side looking in form for Spain and been City’s best player in their first few matches. Hope he just keeps playing far forward and keeps ticking, no reason to not do. Although fuck him vs. Liverpool :)...

Robbie Brady the other soup du week is a scenester I love him. I think I will roll with him for an extended run and I just feel like he will tick over very very nicely for me (for us). I’m excited for the Brady era and the millions of FPL players at home whom I’ve helped convince to go that route. (Is that the right way to use whom? I’m sure Walsh will correct me.)

And last but not least is Mo Salad boy getting the fuck in. Like I mentioned on the pod his stats are ungodly. So if he keeps getting that amount of chances and creating that many chances then whatever, he’s not the best finisher in the world, but he will keep donging. Even if RAZ got these many chances he’d be donging regularly. So fuck it, salad boy in, go on, new love, let’s fuck.

FWD:

Same old same old...

Rom doing his thing looking like fucking horrible dog shit but surely due for a brace or hatty soon in this insane run of fixtures for United.

Kane is still I think the main man in FPL and for all of those people sending in WC teams to us I think that to each and every one of you who don’t have Kane I’ve probably said something along the lines of, “Yeah I like it, but no Kane is suicide,” and I’m sticking by that.

And Bobby. Where are all the Failmino haters now. Bobby is the fucking man end of... Ugh I don’t even have the vocabulary to describe my love for Bob in this moment. Go on.

CAP:

Yep Rom for me too. I said that’s where I’d go on the pod and I’m sticking to it. He just has the best fixture and is the safest bet. Captain choices start getting more interesting after this week and I’m looking forward to that, but for now, go with the safe guy.