#it sounds rly bad out of context but it uh

[tinygayproductions]

yknow, i think cat sitting is the closest ive ever gotten to living on my own

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

can i say a sort of pointless rambly thing i was thinking about that i can't put under the cut bc i'm on mobile?

jk, i'm not actually asking. ramble below, not edited for clarity. the following is completely unclear and i will not fix it:

i've been thinking about how part of the reason i'm so chill about caryl is bc growing up as a queer woc 99% of my main ships were like, never gonna fucking happen bc they literally couldn't. it was like, "omg, they gazed at each other from across the room, let's analyze the homosexual subtext of this one scene for the next fifty years, that's not necessarily hyperbole." i've watched all my ships fuck other ppl/have other love interests, and i knew that my thing was never gonna be canon, so to see like, one thing being like, "one half of my ship fucked another person several years ago while pining for the other half of my ship," i'm like...#nice, bc that can and likely will be used as a plot point to get them together later on, whereas in other situations i've been in i just kinda had to deal with it. so my impulse when i see ppl losing their shit is to be like

and to be slightly annoyed, tbh, bc the ship is still on track to be canon, and it's like, literally two white heterosexuals, they're prime candidates for juicy angsty pining that actually gets a resolution.

but!

that being said, i recognize that that attitude isn't necessarily fair. for one thing, i'm not the only queer woc (or some variation thereof) in this fandom, and some ppl's impulse might be exasperation instead, bc like, "wtf, even my mayohet ship has dumb fucking drama," and that's valid as hell, and i get it.

and also, i get that, even if you didn't grow up shipping impossible ships (or mulder/scully, bc that's a brand of bullshit all its own), this has been a suuuuper drawn out process where sometimes it feels like they're legit sprinkling crumbs to keep you hooked, just to play you again, and when you are invested in something, like /rly/ invested, especially if it's a form of escapism or hyperfixation or whatever, that can be e x h a u s t i n g. and i get that. i truly do, and while i make a lot of snide comments about the fandom being bonkers, i do get where the bulk of you are coming from (unless you're one of those ppl who hate on actors and esp actresses for just doing their jobs, and attack them on social media, in which case i am very much judging you and you need to get your life together).

i also realize that in the scheme of things i'm still a newbie. i've been here, what, twoish/threeish years, whereas some of you have been here since the beginning, so i'm not as worn out as y'all. but i also think that gives me a bit of objectivity that some of y'all have (understandably) lost.

my positivity is not meant as a sleight against those of you who are feeling negative, but is more of a semi-objective viewpoint (i say semi, bc lbr, i'm invested af in this, so i definitely have bias), and to me the threads of the storyline they're crafting seem sort of obvious.

like, let's look at it, yeah? they have one season left of this show that has been on for over a decade. they need to cater to everyone to give them a satisfying ending, while still hanging on to carylers bc of the spin-off. darylrreah seems like a very calculated move, bc it gives them both something to make abcers happy, while also creating tension and suspense and pining for carylers (i think they might underestimate just how fed up some carylers are tbh, and are banking on us to hang on for one last ride, which, honestly? if they play it right will probably work.)

if they end up doing a dumb love triangle thing, which, without seeing the episode and gauging the subtext i can't confidently say if i think they will or won't, it will ultimately end in our favor. it has to, bc leah isn't going to third wheel them on the bike in the spin-off. we can say with good authority that whatever that relationship ends up being (again, idk if they'll drag it out or not) it will be temporary. which leaves caryl open to ride off into the sunset and then bone down in every state in the united states and in puerto rico for good measure.

it's a lot of cheap drama, but i really and truly do not think it's anything to worry about, and i still really and truly trust kang to not make it out of character. ik ppl still don't agree with me on that point, and i'm not gonna argue, but to me it really does make perfect sense.

and i also predict that they are gonna play it up hardcore in the promotional shit and talking dead, but when that happens, remember it's bc it gets attention. regardless of where the story is ultimately going, relationship drama gets attention, which gets viewers, which gets amc and twd producers nice and comfy with full pockets

idk. to sum up ig i just wanted to clarify that i don't mean any harm with my relentless positivity. my history in fandom has just made this seem like nothing in comparison, bc while ppl are freaking out, i'm like, "oh damn, they're actually gonna get together by the end of this, aren't they? i didn't know that could happen!" and that makes me excited instead of upset

and you definitely don't have to listen to me. maybe i'm actually wrong. maybe i'm completely full of bullshit and am just good at making things sound confident. i got a lot of As on papers in college over books i never read, i know how to bs. but i also know how to analyze, and i while i will be the first to tell you i am not the best at a great many things, i do know that i am good at critically analyzing text while taking into account the context it was written in, and imho all signs point to canon caryl. when, i'm not entirely sure, but i see it happening. if it doesn't then they severely fucked up their storytelling, and that'd just be bad writing on their part.

(if you want proof that i'm good at reading writers'/producers' intentions, consider that i watched like, 8 seasons of supernatural before giving up, and said to myself, "i think they're gonna make destiel canon, but not until the very last second bc they are rly into catering to their fans but also have to consider their dumb fanboy audience so they can't do anything crazy overtly gay," and guess who hit the nail on the fucking head on that one)

none of this is important, but it was rattling around my mind grapes and i wanted to write it down into something vaguely coherent, and where else better to do it than here. i can word vomit and then send it into the ether and pretend i never said a thing. i love this horrible website, nothing can compare

i have no real conclusion to this, it was mostly stream of consciousness, but i hope it sort of helps y'all understand where i'm coming from, and why i am as chill as i am about things. not about y'all. y'all cause me so much anxiety i get physically sick and have to legit block tags, but with the actual show content i'm zen as hell

uh

the end ig?

it feels weird even signing off on this, but w/e

-diz

[rhabakoli]

Your writing is just- WOW. May I please request a one shot of Geralt getting jealous, confessed feelings and some rough possessive sexy times?

HI!  I did not forget. I didn’t I swear. I just rly struggled with this, and I’ve decided it’s not gonna get better, so here it is. 

@dreamwritesimagines @alwaysadreamingoptimist

ENJOY! 

Geralt had been trailing behind Jaskier all day, made sure he wasn’t alone and unprotected. Never let him out of his sight. 

Okay, maybe he was a bit overprotective, but could you blame him? Jaskier was rather unobservant and oblivious on a good day, he rarely caught danger until it hit him in the face. But that’s what Geralt was here for. And alas, as he stopped watching Jaskier to inspect some leather-bound books and fine quills, someone promptly saw their chance. Big, burly, face like a potato that fell onto the floor one too many times, no sense for personal space and social boundaries. Geralt growled and his brain completely shut off when the stranger took Jaskier by the arm and attempted to pull him away. He was by his side immediately, face terrifying to look at and posture clearly tense and ready to pounce. Jask was struggling against the man’s hold on his arm and didn’t notice Geralt until he talked. “You better take your hand off my man, or I’ll do it for you.” Jask would deny his squawk until the day he died, but he was glad for Geralt’s appearance still. The stranger sneered and ran his eyes over Geralt, before looking back at Jaskier. “That guy with you?” Before he could answer, Geralt pulled him close, pressed a kiss to his temple and growled: “Got a problem?” Jaskier’s heart fluttered at the possessive display and he curled his hand tighter into his bag to stop himself from clinging to Geralt. He’d surely not appreciate the bard taking advantage when he just wanted to help. So he forced himself to relax and put a smile on his face – when all he wanted to do was to turn in Geralt’s embrace and tuck his face against his neck and never let go. Why did he always have to fall for the wrong ones? The unapproachable ones? Potatoface let go of Jaskier’s arm and murmured something that made Geralt growl even fiercer, louder. “Leave right now and I’ll let you live.” 

He didn’t really want to let him live, not after he frightened and hurt his bard. The monster inside him fought for control, but Geralt knew if he let loose, the result would not be pretty and for now he needed to get Jaskier out of this place. “If you’re fast enough, I won’t even hunt you down.” Jaskier’s eyes got all big and round, the shock obvious. “Geralt!” The Witcher hushed him softly, his arm tightening around him. “It’s okay, shh.”   Potatoface seemed to smarten up and decide to keep his life, because he scoffed and stomped away. Geralt stared after him, trying to make him fall to the floor in a heap of dead flesh, but he – fortunately – did not have that kind of power. Jaskier blinked, trying to progress the Witcher’s hands still on him. He also didn’t seem to be in a hurry to let the bard go, which – weird? “Uh, Geralt-“ His head whipped around, golden eyes focused on Jaskier. “Are you okay?” Taken aback, Jaskier nodded. What the fuck was even going on?   “Good.” He turned, arm still around the bard and stalked off into the opposite direction. “Wait, what the fuck did he say? Geralt!” He completely ignored Jaskier’s protests and just hauled him away, through the side streets until he stopped at a little tavern. He opened the door, shoved the bard through. “Wait, Geralt, what-“ “For fucks sake, please shut up for just a moment.” Geralt nodded at the bartender as they walked by, towards the stairs. Did he have a room here? They only just arrived this morning, how did he already have a room? “Geralt-“ The Witcher growled, whirled him around and grabbed his jaw. “Jaskier. Shut. Up.” His eyes were dark and a testament to his self-control because they looked absolutely wild. Jaskier came to realized just how tense Geralt was. He snapped his mouth shut and nodded. Or tried to. Geralt’s big hand restricted him somewhat and Jaskier tried so hard to keep his brain and body under control. He’d dreamed of Geralt holding him like this, but in a wholly different context. “Upstairs.” Geralt jerked his head, telling Jaskier to go up, to fucking move. His hand let him go and instead touched his lower back, guiding him. It felt weirdly intimate and warm, and Jaskier was confused.

Geralt was seething inside. Seeing that brute, that sleazy fucker touch Jaskier, his bard – he could be glad Geralt didn’t cut him down right there. And then he felt the other relax against him, let himself be taken care of- fuck, his insides did somersaults. If he would just do what he was told without talking back one fucking time. Just fucking once. Once in his room, he locked the door and braced his hands against it, just breathing for a moment. He needed to calm down. Otherwise he’d do something stupid, he knew. Something like kiss Jaskier. Or hoist him up and fuck him against the door. A hand touched his back, right between his shoulders. “Geralt?” Jaskier sounded concerned, cautious. Geralt tried to relax, unclench his jaw and let down his shoulders from where they were pulled up to his ears. How would he ever live if anything happened to his bard? If he ever took interest in someone, real interest? Jealousy reared its head again, ugly creature like it was. It sharpened its claws, whet them on his ribs and it hurt. “Hey, nothing happened.” Jaskier’s voice was soft, comforting, as if he were shushing a wild animal; he was, in a way. He wasn’t sure what was going on inside the Witcher’s head, but he did relax under his hands, just slightly. It was a start. Geralt mumbled something under his breath, barely audible and it frustrated Jaskier to no end. “Could you please speak up, I wasn’t gifted with superior hearing, my friend.” Oh. Oh shit. Geralt tensed all over again, his back hunched and his hands on the door curled to fists. Shit, what did he say? Before Jaskier could backtrack in any way, Geralt had whirled around, grabbed him and pushed him against the door. The bard was caged in by this big, thick man, and It probably should not make him feel this safe. Still, Jaskier hoped Geralt would chalk his erratic breath up to the sudden change of position and proximity. The hand on his hip burned through the material of his clothes, the other had found it’s way to his jaw once more, Geralt’s thumb right over his pulse point. “I am not your friend.” Jaskier froze, both at the words and the sound of his voice. He sounded raw, hurt, pained. He didn’t think he’d ever heard him like that before. “What?” Geralt refused to meet Jaskier’s eyes and focused on his eyebrows instead, then his nose, his lips. “I can’t be your friend, Jaskier.” A humorless chuckle left his lips. “I can’t watch you, day in day out and pretend to be your friend. I can’t pretend to not want you any longer, I’m sorry.” Geralt pushed away, back to the bard and rubbed his hands over his face. “Fuck, the things you make me say.” Jaskier needed a couple of seconds to process whatever Geralt had just told him. Has it been… a confession? Did Geralt feel more than just annoyed fondness for him? Did he – Did he like him??? “Geralt-“ He had to clear his throat before continuing. “Geralt, what do you want?” He watched the Witcher’s ribcage expand with every breath he took, watched him turn his head. The tension was palpable, made it hard to breathe. Jaskier was sure he would pass out any second, if Geralt decided to stall. He didn’t need to worry. The Witcher let out a deep sigh and sunk down on the bed, elbows on his knees. “I want you.” When he looked up, his face was so open, so earnest, Jaskier knees almost gave out. “I want to be close to you at all times, I want to be on your mind at all times.” Geralt watched the bard come closer. “I want to kiss and touch you.” Jaskier chose to ignore the way his man’s voice had cracked in the middle there; instead, he made a place for himself between Geralt’s knees and forced him to sit up straight, lean back a bit even. “Geralt.” Jaskier cupped his face, brushed his thumbs along his cheekbones. The motion was so tender and loving and strange to Geralt, it send a shiver down his spine. “You are the most amazing idiot on this whole wide world, I swear.” Geralt watched his lips move, watched him smile so bright it could take out a vampire; he was mesmerized. “Geralt, you can touch me. You can also kiss me.” The words got stuck in his ear canal somewhere, because it took a second for Geralt to react. But then his hands lifted from his thighs to wrap around the back of Jaskier’s thighs, mapping the territory. “I can?” “Yes, love.” Bad choice of words. Jaskier squealed as Geralt hoisted him up and over his shoulder so he’d land on the bed with a hefty oof and a bounce. Geralt was upon him not much later, straddling him and holding his face in his hands. “Are you sure?” Jaskier scoffed and mirrored Geralt. The stubble on his cheeks tickled his palms as he answered: “No, you’re delusional, my friend.” A child would have noticed the sarcasm in his words. Geralt growled and kissed Jaskier. Finally. He grinned, giddy happiness filling him. He couldn’t believe it. And neither could Jaskier.   Their kisses were hot and messy, sloppy even. Hair was pulled, lips were nipped, it was harsh and wild. “Grind down on me, Geralt, come on.” Jaskier ran a hand down Geralt’s back and cupped his asscheek, then squeezed.   “I know you want to.” Geralt didn’t wait for Jaskier to maybe change his mind. He moved his hips, rhythm fast and hard immediately. He’d been holding back for too long, he just wanted to feel and hear and taste and see. “Fuck.” Jaskier moaned at Geralt’s curse, his stomach somersaulting. “Geralt, you’re so fucking hot. So precious too, fuck” It felt delicious, the way Jaskier’s bulge rubbed along Geralt’s dick and balls, caught just behind his balls, if he moved just right. He groaned into Jaskier’s skin, right underneath his jaw, where he left red blotches, little marks that would hopefully bloom into pretty bruises. He needed to leave his claim in a way that was impossible to miss. He had to. He buried his hand in his bard’s hair, the brown locks spilling from between his fingers. “You smell so good, Jask.” His senses were filled with both their arousal, precum, desire, love. “I want to make you smell like me, Jask.” The bard laughed, a deep chuckle that was music to Geralt’s ears. “Oh, you possessive idiot.”   He lifted his lips just a bit to rut against the Witcher. His eyes were half-closed, his lips shiny with spit and swollen from their aggressive kissing.   He shifted under Geralt, lazy smile on his lips. “I want you to fuck me.” The witcher froze, just for a second, before he cursed and scrambled off the bard. His hands fumbled with his breeches’ laces while he commanded Jaskier to undress as well. He looked up, white strands hanging into his eyes, hair completely disheveled. “Please,” he added.

Fuck, if that wasn’t a sign for the heavens. Geralt, big badass monster hunter, terrifying Witcher, had asked nicely and looked almost chastised while doing so. The bard had to be careful not to blow his load right then. They didn’t take long to undress. Clothing was flung to the floor, boots kicked under the bed when Geralt got on and crawled back to Jaskier. The bard was a sight for sore eyes, one hand on his thigh, the other was slowly stroking his dick. Geralt had to stare for a bit; fuck did he want to taste. Maybe later. He let his hands trail up Jaskier’s thighs, until he could bring them back around to his ass and haul him in, bring him closer. “You’re driving me crazy, bard.” “Good.” Oh, how smug he sounded. Jaskier procured a vial of oil from somewhere, Geralt had no idea. But he didn’t particularly care, there was barely enough blood left in his brain to think straight. Or as straight as he was able to. He took the vial with a sweet kiss on Jaskier’s lips. As he pulled back, his eyes fell upon the bard’s neck, mottled with spots and bites. Yes. Carnal possessiveness flooded his veins, and his cock started throbbing even more, precum dribbling from his tip. “Oh, how handsome you are, Geralt.” The bard ogled Geralts cock, then wiggled his hips. “Don’t make me wait.” “Yes.” Geralt snapped out of it, opened the vial and coated his fingers in the liquid. He wrapped one hand around Jaskier’s on his hip, then circled the bard’s rim. He clenched in anticipation, his hips moving again in an effort to make Geralt hurry up. “Geralt. Now.” “Oh, yes.” He pressed one finger in, surprised to find no resistance at all. Still, he took it slow, took his time, until Jaskier urged him on once again. “You will add another finger or I will do it myself.” And so he did. And they went in so smoothly, he almost lost his mind. Why was he so loose? Why was there no resistance? He should have to stretch him, what was going on? And then It hit him. He was already stretched. He’d had someone’s dick up his ass and it hasn’t been long enough to tighten back up. It also hasn’t been Geralt’s cock. A deep, vicious growl erupted from his chest, his fingers crocking and suddenly fucking into Jaskier at a mad pace. “Did you sleep with someone?” He grunted at one of Jaskier’s whines and spread his fingers, scissoring his bard’s hole. “Did you let someone else fuck you? Were you lying?” His voice was just as dark as his growl, the both of them layering and making Jaskier shiver underneath him. He tried to speak, but Geralt’s assault on him felt too good. He got a small break when Geralt shifted closer, latched onto his shoulder and buried his teeth there, probably leaving a very prominent mark. “No, I- ah. I fingered myself to the thought of you!” Geralt froze. He felt like his brain had been blown out, his heart crushed. He… what? Jaskier startled when Geralt suddenly pulled back with that blank, wide-eyed look on his face. They stared at each other, the bard too startled too move and the Witcher too shellshocked. Only when Geralt let out a low and breathy whine, almost like a hurt animal, did Jaskier remember his ability to move. He sat up slightly, reached for Geralt; did not get far. Geralt wrapped his hands around Jaskier’s hand and wrist, his other hand clenching at the bard’s hip. “Julian.” The mood toppled, shifted, desire burning in their veins like dry wood in the kiln. The were upon each other, skin to skin, Geralt back to fingering his bard, get him ready; he couldn’t wait much longer. It was hot, it was sticky and slick and if Geralt wasn’t gonna fuck him soon, Jaskier thought he’d have to die. “Come on, Geralt. Please.” Oh, and could he ever resist when Jaskier begged. Never.   He hooked one of his legs over his arm and rubbed the head of his cock against Jaskiers hole. “Breathe.” And then he pushed in. Jaskier’s eyes rolled back, his mouth fell open and he let out a choked gasp. Fuck, it was so much better than imagined. He was half sure he was babbling, but Geralt didn’t seem to mind or even notice. He just kneeled there, his fingers pressed into Jaskier’s skin as if he needed something to anchor himself. His eyes were closed, his head tipped back and his chest heaving. He drew in air, shakily, and when he exhaled, Jaskier’s body twitched.   His name had never sounded better than when it spilled from Geralt’s lips like a prayer, like something precious. “Julian.” A dam broke. Or a wall. Didn’t matter, something broke. Something gave way and Jaskier loved it. Geralt fucked into him without mercy, without caring if he left bruises or marks. He even kissed any red spots he could reach, murmured his possessiveness into Jaskier’s skin. And while Jaskier was absolutely on board with all of that, he felt almost overwhelmed. He’d loved for so long, careful not to let Geralt see. And now he was tangled with Geralt, on the bed, the sheets sticky and a mess, and it was exhilarating. He raked his nails down Geralt’s arm and bucked against him, tried to find a rhythm, but Geralt simply fucked him into submission. “Just take me, Jaskier, take all of me. You’re mine.” Fuck. Geralt shifted, bent Jaskier into half and adjusted his thrusts. Harder. Faster. Better. Jaskier was leaking precum, his dick now trapped between them and the friction drove him crazy. Absolutely crazy. Geralt held his legs in place, his forehead pressed against his calf as he took him apart. “You’re perfect. You’re mine. I’ll make you remember that.” A deep, rough growl revibrated through Geralts chest and Jaskiers body. He keened, threw his head back, begged. He needed release, he needed to cum. He needed it. “Please, Geralt. Please.” “Mine.” “Please.” Geralt picked up the pace; it became even more inhuman, animalistic. No mortal would have been able to keep it up. Jaskier himself felt like dying, his whole body overwhelmed and coiled tight. Geralt suddenly pulled out, just when Jaskier was about to break, and he flipped him around, manhandled him into a preferred position. He was like a blanket of fire along Jaskier’s back, the heat he radiated making sure his lover wasn’t getting cold. A soft kiss was pressed to Jaskier’ temple before Geralt sat up. He was positioned on Jaskiers now stretched legs. His cock, fat and swollen and leaking was situated between the bards asscheeks; the view was too nice. Geralt ran his hands down Jaskier’s back. His unmarred, unmarked back. No. Mark him, mark him up. Geralt shifted forward, his hands in the bedsheets next to Jaskier and his lips latched to the top of his spine. He licked and bit and grinded his cock against his bards ass, all the while growling and whispering praise. Jaskier felt so empty, and the grinding cock on his ass was the worst of teasing. He whined, pressed back against his witcher and raised his hips. “Don’t be fucking mean, get back into me already.” Geralt chuckled and bit the skin stretching over his shoulder hard enough to draw blood. “Patience, Julian.” Jaskier pressed his face into the sheets and wriggled in frustration. “Fuck.” He raised his hips as much as possible and reached down to take himself in hand; did not go well. Geralt stopped him with a hand wrapped around his arm and pulled it from between the bed and Jask’s body. “So, that’s how needy we are, huh?” He raised both Jaskier’s arms over his head and held them there with one hand. The other caressed his ass, squeezing and stroking in cirlces, before he smacked the left cheek. “You’re so needy, can’t even wait?” Another smack, the sting making Jaskier drool a bit. “Well then.” Geralt’s voice was so unbelievably gravely and bassy, Jaskier could feel every word he said in his chest. “Fuck, you’re so impatient.” He chuckled. “Take me then.” He pressed in, his thick cock breaching Jaskier once again, but the angle was different. The bard couldn’t not, he started moaning and pushing back, eager to take him in, to be filled to the brim. He wanted to cum, he needed Geralt to fuck him. And he did. Straight up resumed in the pace he’d left off earlier, the friction fucking delicious. His arms were still held hostage, therefore Jaskier didn’t have much room to move, but fuck, if that wasn’t half the appeal. “You’re mine, Julian. Mine.” Geralt murmured right into the bards ear. “Cum for me, my pretty flower.”

[rhydium]

Info dumbo about the StarFinite story?

aright u asked for it anon GET READY [cracks knuckles] this is gonna be long so obligatory cut in 3, 2........

...1!

so the uh, the au! the story!! w/e yall wanna call it! full disclaimer, i only began working on this whole thing a while ago, but it's totally taken over my fukn brain. like, we're talking big hyperfixation hrs. am i cringe for being this invested in my own content? yes? cool i do not Care >:3€

i should also throw it out there real quick that i am kin w/ infinite, n this is actually one of my two canons (both of which are my own aus lmfao wow). i didn't go into it expecting it to be but sfsfsgdfs here we are ig!! for that reason it's got extra importance to me n this definitely contributes to the euphoria i get from it!! it's a lil odd writing ur own canon,,? but i kinda just go w/ the flow!

the au n, the story that i will start Eventually, revolves around infinite n starline (obvi) n it's honestly just ... the tl;dr is big healing momence n, what's this? uh oh sisters !!! they are falling in love 😳😳😳

uhhhh so infinite is an android, made by eggman. that's like, the most notable canon divergence here! super important context to have. i've got a whole big theory on the possibility of sega originally intending infinite to be an artificial being (which i explored in the works for my Other canon too), stemming from not only the scene in forces wherein infinite comments on sonic's "data", but a line of dialogue from tails in one of the last stages of the game where he Literally Says "so this is where eggman built infinite". that ... i mean. that contrasts w/ episode shadow pretty hard don't it?? would explain why that dlc was so rushed, n the comic too. ANYWAY adsfsfs um that's a seperate ramblepost. yeah!!!

they are also agender n use they/them (primarily) as well as he/him!! so i'll be refering to them w/ those pronouns!

after the war, infinite is taken in by the resistance n, instead of being dismantled, they're basically given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. it's agreed that they won't be reprogrammed, as despite the potential risks, it feels wrong to do so; like a violation of their free will, individuality n thinking. if infinite is to be a good person, it's not gonna be bc other ppl recreated their entire personality, it's gonna be bc it's what they themselves truly want. robot ethics idk man!! u can't tell me that sonic n co wouldn't offer this to infinite if they offered it to metal in IDW,,,, i am Standing By This!!!

it's, yknow, a bit rocky, at first. infinite has to really fight the urge to return to eggman (something they already tried once, before the resistance found them; they were cast out). it's a struggle against what they were built to do, against giving into unhealthy familiarity over facing a, while healthier, unfamiliarity. new faces, a new life, turning their back on their mission n creator, it's like, a lot.

they work for/with the sonic crew, rebuilding the world they tore down as deemed fitting justice, being closely monitored for a bit as a natural precaution. as it becomes apparent infinite truly no longer has any ambition to harm others (they don't have much ambition for anything, really), they're then granted more freedom, n start taking on more important missions!! it at least gives them something to do, keeps them occupied. they have issues with dissociation, unreality, whether they're truly a real person bc, well, android. feeling purposeless, n a lack of worth, especially. a need to prove themselves. heavy stuff. i'll kinda go into that a bit more in a sec. their work grounds them, if only temporarily.

n soooooo... IDW comic stuff happens. metal virus time. starline gets kicked out of the empire.

now, as the comics are ongoing, n as this is already an au, there's gonna be divergence, n i must admit i haven't planned out all that yet. there's a lot i have to consider!! infinite being w the resistance/restoration is a big game changer ... tho i Do believe that they were absent, likely on a far out mission during most of the chaos. eggman doesn't know abt them, nor does starline or anyone else other than the sonic crew; n some civilians that recognise them.

i'm not 100% sure of Exactly when it happens, but i think it's just after bad guys, that infinite is sent to locate n bring in starline. it doesn't prove too difficult. there's a whole, starline realising "oh fuck it's you???", some bickering n, the two don't hit it off right away. they're both kinda like. not mentally stable ddgddgdds,,,

so uh. starline ends up essentially going thru the same sorta shit as infinite. careful watch, rebuilding, all that jazz, making sure he can be trusted. he's like... very very lost, quite like infinite is. the world has kinda calmed down, in the meanwhile.

it's at this point i'm gonna go ahead n drop a bit of a ramble i subjected my friends to a while ago, to articulate the way i see the two, n their dynamic together!! i was considering making this it's own post a while ago!

analysing their characters a bit... let's look at starline. Like. so we have this, in bad guys, which SENT ME tbfh;

i feel like it's the moment that triggers starline onto the path he is rn canonically,,, he's clearly like. rly mad n bitter. the core of this?? he wants his work n his efforts to be acknowledged.

he's big angry. still kind of in denial at this stage. he has himself obsessed w/ the idea of making eggman see him as Worthy, that if he just tries hard enough, that'll happen. he's dependent on eggman's validation, n i mean, it's no surprise; he's followed him a Long Time by the sounds of it.

then in the recent issue, hold the fuck up, bc we got, This;

god. my god it's all comin together now homies. this???? this right here??? it is the CLASSIC "i have to do this to prove i'm strong n powerful n smart n worthy n should be respected please Give Me Acknowledgement" ..... n who else is Like That? can u see where im going w/ this?

i think most ppl are aware of infinite's character being extremely indicative of self worth/esteem issues n the need to prove themself, right?? the extreme adversity, repulsion, perhaps even fear toward the idea of being weak. the compulsion to prove otherwise, to show their strength, to become powerful, to conquer to make a point. their theme exudes this same energy as their behaviour in-game; an aggressive attitude, trying to assert themself, while if u rly listen...? the lyrics are actually really sad in places. it reeks of cover up, although composition wise, a v interesting thing to note is a lot of the more telling lyrics are prominent while some of the affirming ones are in the background. indicative of a desire to have their true feelings be heard but caught in a vicious loop?

okay okay that's yet Another different analysis. AHEM.

not to get deep on main (oh who the hell am i kidding that's the point of this entire thing) but i think starline has issues w/ his worth in a similar way to infinite. they both seem to have this need to Prove something, whether it's to others or themselves, n get caught in a toxic spiral of doing worse n worse things for Some kind of validation or acknowledgement. they'll go to really big lengths chasing that, n both of them ultimately sought validation in the wrong place n wrong way.

this is a big part of my starfinite dynamic,, n so, what happens, as they get closer n open up??? we have them BOTH realising together that they don't have to do fuck all to prove anything to anyone. they don't need to do all this to show they're strong n smart n worth something, not to anyone else OR themselves. they're enough as they are. they bond over that shared feeling that they have to do xyz, to prove themselves, n that desire to just finally be acknowledged n appreciated n help each other thru it. to help each other understand that other ppls approval, or lack thereof, doesn't define them, their strength, intelligence, and worthiness.

i feel like they have an interesting parallel between them in like... the above could be taken as a general analysis, but to go more in depth on this au specifically?? ...

starline followed eggman for presumably a long time n it no doubt left him feeling a heavy and deep regret for all that time wasted n spent on an unhealthy path. infinite kinda teaches him that what matters is what he's doing Now n also reminds him that if none of it happened, starline wouldn't have learnt a lot of the serious skills he has. n while starline still feels bad, he also realises himself that, he likely never would have crossed infinite's path if none of it happened. for that reason, he wouldn't take it back.

infinite has only been recently made, on the other hand. they haven't really existed long, yet, but so far their experiences haven't been very positive n it can be .... discouraging. starline sorta, shows infinite their limited experiences w/ the world are a very tiny fraction of what's out there, n things can absolutely change, yes, including for the better; that's the essence of life, a neverending, constant flow of change.

it's a big tale of moving on n letting go, honestly; made easier as they're doing it together. n as they heal n grow, well... these bitches gay. sfshshdgds like, ig that's putting it p bluntly but!! they start to trust each other, understand each other more. as they get to truly know who the other is, they both start developing The Feelings. they're both pretty oblivious n the reveal is totally unknown so far!! yeah, i know, bummer. i suck. boo. adafsfsds however i can say there will be lots of content in the making!! if that soothes the soul! i've got of ideas i hope to bring to life.

ofc there's still a lot of more specific things i haven't covered here so! if y'all want more juice hmu w/ more focused questions but !! this is the overview n i hope it was a decent read now that gave some uhhh! Cool Insight! yea!!! ✌

[nep-moved]

lotsa nyall don't know Iothric so here is my overly long post in which i tell u abt him 👁👁

i'm bad at talking nd idk how 2 start this off but here we go fjdjsk. i will be leavin out lotsa stuff abt the game bc i am just here 2 talk abt my husband gjfjsk

the game describes everythin so vaguely so forgive me if this this part sounds confusing but: in dark souIs there's this thing called the first flame !! it brought the age of fire, nd it was a v prosperous time nd bred lotsa nations !! before the age of fire was the age of ancients; the world was unformed nd not much existed there.

to keep the first flame going nd therefore keep the world from returning to that time of darkness, a rly powerful soul has 2 be given to the flame to keep it goin fr a while. lord gwyn was the first one 2 sacrifice himself to the flame (( he's also gwyndoIin's awful dad but this ain't abt him )) but ye. as time goes on there's more and more sacrifice needed to keep the flame alive.

in the time of dark souIs 3, Iothric's family wanted 2 create a child so strong they'd be the perfect person to link the flame. but they couldn't have a child like that naturally, so they resorted to 'unspeakable means' and that's all the game tells u gjfjsk. i'm not sure if i wanna know what they did BUT as a result of it, Iothric was born cursed. he was supposed 2 be a champion so strong he could link the fire but ALAS he was weak nd had v frail health, nd he didn't grow much, as an adult he could still wear his swaddling as robes, nd it's the only thing he's ever worn. why didn't nyall giv this boy some fuckign CLOTHES ffs.

but also can i gush a bit 🥺🥺 pls lookit him i think he's v cute despite his resting bitch face gjfjsk. also he looks like he rly needs a nap.. ME TOO c'mere let's snuggle.

nd pls note i say "despite" him always lookin grumpy but i lov that abt him gjfjdk

nd i'm sure nyall hav heard me talk abt his voice lots nd how much i adore it gjdjk. so pwease listen 2 him if u haven't his voice is SO preddy i am in lov nd i swoon whenever i hear it gjfjdk

NYWAYS !! Iothric has an older brother named Iorian !! the game never states why, but he decided to share Iothric's curse. a lot of ppl think it was 2 help ease his suffering which is 🥺🥺🥺 but nyways !! the curse left Iorian mute and unable to stand, nd their souls were nearly inseparable bc of the curse; they could nearly meld together. but it's said they're also nearly inseparable in kinship !! which u can tell bc Iorian obviously cares a lot fr Iothric nd givs up everything in order 2 protect him ;w;

eventually Iothric decided he didn't want to link the fire. we don't know exactly why but alas. him doing this sorta makes him the main antagonist of the game?? bc if he just linked the flame none of this shit would be happenin but LISTEN he is not bad ok. i don't blame him fr not wantin 2 do it, he had no say in it he was destined to from birth :(( it's v understandable that he doesn't wanna burn esp when ppl are tryna force him to fjdjsk. nyways him nd Iorian decided to hide far away nd just. wait for the fire to fade.

many ppl have attempted to come and kill them, but ofc they haven't succeeded gjfjsk. the ashen one, the character u play as, has to (( among lotsa other things but i am here 2 talk abt Iothric not the whole story of the game )) find nd kill him. him nd Iorian are the last boss u face before the Final Battle™️. so lemme talk abt their boss fight 👀

when u start off the fight Iothric's way up on his bed where u can't get to him, but this ain't an issue since he doesn't attack gjfjdk. just Iorian does, nd since he can't use his legs Iothric helps by teleporting him around the room !! when u kill Iorian, Iothric teleports down nd revives Iorian !! then he clings onto his back, nd that suggests he's too weak 2 walk :(( nyways during the second part of the fight u still gotta deal w Iorian but now Iothric's on his back shooting magic at u gjfjdk.

a v interesting thing abt that !! he can use RLY powerful magic, if being able 2 bring his brother back from the dead didn't already tell u that gjdksk. nd he does it all w/o a catalyst !! it's not said why he doesn't need one, but it's impressive bc even gods like gwyndoIin need one to cast spells but Iothric can do it w his bare hands just.. bc he wants to i guess JFDJK. either way i'm v proud of u sweetie !! nd remember when i said his soul's intertwined w Iorian's?? yea bc of that Iorian can't truly die unless Iothric does as well, so if u don't kill Iothric he'll just keep reviving his brother gjfjsk. but when Iothric dies Iorian also does immediately :((

there are multiple endings in the game nd in one of em u don't even hav 2 link the fire, but ur still required to kill Iothric nd Iorian?? why?? fr context in the game ur told 2 kill Iothric so u can go link the flame urself since he won't gjdjsk. but if ur not gonna link the fire?? why do i still hav 2 kill them?? i hate u fromsoft fjdjsk neither of them deserve this.

OOH can i talk abt this other thing 👁👁 i've been meaning 2 but never hav gjdjdk. OK SO !!! when i said Iothric was meant 2 be a champion nd all that, he was also expected 2 wield a special platinum sword !! but bc of his poor health he couldn't do that. nyways originally he was supposed 2 wield a scythe !! the sexiest of all weapons 👀

in conclusion...

its fuckign BIG so there's no way he'd be able 2 wield this if he couldn't do the same w that tiny sword gjdjsk but !! i always think how cool it'd be to see him use it in the fight... alas that will never happen gjdjsk 😔😔 NO MATTER i am happy enough seein him cast his pretty magic..

so uh. i think that's it?? unfortunately we do not get 2 know anythin abt him personally ;(( at least we have headcanons gjfjsk i hav many~

i lov my husband SO much he's brought me sm happiness.. nd i hope i can giv him plenty in return ;; he's been thru sm nd he only deserves the best jgdjkd i just want him 2 be happy nd safe :(( i Also lov my big brother Iorian w all my heart nd he Also deserves only the best !! both these boys r so good pls appreciate them

[randomidiocyncrazies]

i got back into zestiria lately and like... i dig the characters and i think the setting has a lot of potential, but good god the plot is a railroad-y mess

SPOILERS

tbh the treatment of Cardinal Forton really bothers me. the whole point of her was that there are people in the world who are so set in their harmful ways that you can’t change them—the only way to stop them from preying on or harming other people is to kill them. personally i don’t agree with this type of rhetoric, but it could potentially lead to interesting character development. BUT

the reason why you can’t purify her hellion form and Sorey “has to” kill her is the most half-hearted hand-wavey bullshit, especially since later on you have a priest dude who buys into his own bullshit (with help from the bad guys) so much so that he commits mass murder of the poor and thinks it’s justice—and he isn’t a hellion because he’s so deluded that he doesn’t recognize his actions as evil at all. on the other hand, the cardinal being a hellion implies that she does realize her actions are harmful, but clings to her ways because she cannot see another way out for Rolance in her despair/desperation (”the people must be united”). imo theoretically she could be redeemed, but the game just tells you have to kill her because “she’s too into her own BS and can’t be changed.” if they wanted an arc like that, it’d make more sense for the two character’s position to be switched—the big bad who you HAVE TO kill ~because the game tells you to~ as someone who refuses to acknowledge the harm they do to innocent people and will continue harming people if left unchecked, and the one who gets to live (but is arrested) as someone who acknowledges their wrongdoing deep down but commits harm in desperation

honestly... i kinda think they just wanted a snake titty monster boss fight lol (it’s interesting, to me, that the female villain Must Be Killed but the serial killer priest dude is just arrested)

i love how Sorey and Mikleo geek out over history and ruins, but because they mostly only reference ancient history that the players have no context for—and it’s mostly in skits/optional dialogue where it comes up—it isn’t integrated as smoothly into the plot as it could be. the reveal that there was a previous shepherd ~20-30 years ago and the age of chaos only started in earnest a couple of decades ago could’ve been better foreshadowed if the boys actively make wild theories about these topics, which they then confirm/revise according to the earthen historia. i do appreciate the ancient history stuff a lot, but i wish there was a balance of recent and ancient history discussion

I gotta say i’m still? trying to reconcile the timeline??? Heldalf became Lord of Calamity after Michael cursed him, that that stuff happened when Sorey was a baby because Muse met Zenrus who was holding baby!Sorey (so 17-18 years ago)? but also people act like the age of chaos had been going on for generations...? and people talk about the Celestial Record like it’s been around for ages...? i buy that Michael omitted the fact he’s a shepherd which is why “the last shepherd existed 200 years ago”, but i’m having a hard time with the rest of it

also this is a pet peeve but because lailah has her oath she has to act silly and divert attention for most of the game, which unfortunately led to her not getting as much character development imo. it’s also kind of a shame they didn’t do more with the tension that inherently comes with obviously hiding important secrets from everyone else. she just looks kinda sad sometimes and that’s it?

i... i honestly don’t get Dezel’s back story. the implication is that Dezel cursed the prince into becoming a hellion(?) but i don’t really understand the mechanics behind it. in fact the first time i thought the issue was that because he blessed the Windriders, they stood out too much and caught the attention of a high ranking hellion, and his guilt comes from ‘making them a target’ or whatever (also they uh kinda just ignored the part where he regularly hijacked Rose’s body without her knowledge or consent huh. what’s up with that)

i’m not rly bothered that Rose doesn’t mind, but the fact that the game makes it sound like getting possessed w/o your knowledge to pull off badass stunts is a Good Thing Actually sure was a perspective

[inside-aut-blog]

Autistic Caleb Widogast

Part One

Caleb Widogast of D&D web series Critical Role is widely recognized by the fan community as autistic-coded. There are many, many, many reasons why, and with the episodes numbering well into the dozens it would take several paragraphs to expound on on all of them.

So here’s the first in a series of posts doing precisely that.

EPISODE ONE:

There isn’t much here in episode one, but there is this:

Caleb uses stereotypically autistic speech patterns in the very first conversation he has in the show. Nott draws it to a close with “All right, well, that’s on the to-do list,” and Caleb immediately mirrors her phrasing with “All right, well, let’s get something to eat then.”

Later, down in the bar, Beau asks Nott if she is cold. Caleb misinterprets this to mean “Why are you wrapped up?” and subsequently explains, very defensively, that Nott is a goblin and obviously goblins are not well-liked in these parts and that is why she is wrapped up and Beau should drop it—which is, uh, pretty much the definition of blunt oversharing, no?

Caleb also, for the first time, shares his magic cat with someone else as an expression of kindness and a kind of second-hand socializing. Beau notes immediately that it’s “kind of therapeutic”; right away, Frumpkin is coded as an emotional support animal. (It helps that he takes Frumpkin absolutely everywhere, often choosing to carry him on his shoulders when he can just as easily pop him in and out of the general vicinity with a snap of his fingers.)

Still later, Jester rearranges one of the shops they visit, and Caleb grows nervous the moment he notices it (“A bit of nerves begin to brew up”). On the one hand, this is probably because he’s afraid of getting in trouble with the shopowner, but on the other: getting anxious at the sight of slight changes in your surroundings is pretty quintessentially autistic.

EPISODE TWO:

Caleb offers to give Nott his cat as a distraction from her urges to steal. Once again, Frumpkin is coded as an emotional support animal. And, on top of this, Caleb seems to hold the idea that—well, he helps me, so obviously he’ll help you too!

Nott reassures Caleb that they can leave the group at the drop of a hat if they need to. “They’ll never know who we were,” she says. “...Caleb and Nott,” he says, responding both literally and with a touch of confusion.

Caleb calls a man’s novel “trashy” and seems to realize a second too late that it was rude; he tacks on a very hasty “No judgement.”

Caleb compliment’s Beau’s muscles very awkwardly.

Caleb goes on to say, “We have been in the woods for too long. I’ve forgotten how to talk to people.” And sure, spending time away from society can make people a little weird. But needing practice to maintain basic social skills like complimenting people? Sounds autistic.

Caleb says, later, “I don’t know what you just said, but I am interested in books. Particularly in the arcane realm, but any kind of book.” That ticks two boxes at once: auditory processing troubles and special interests.

At one point, Beau references Frankenstein and Caleb doesn’t understand what she’s saying. It’s possible, out-of-universe, that this was a meta reference to Frankenstein not existing in the story’s universe, but consider—in-universe, Beau must have referenced the story world’s equivalent of Frankenstein, and Caleb did not get that reference. Therefore: Caleb is not only having difficulty following her metaphor, but he’s missed a pop culture reference.

EPISODE THREE:

caleb is nonverbal after he “gets over [his reaction to casting firebolt]”; he “doesn’t say anything, but starts pushing bodies onto the back of the cart”

stays nonverbal for A While; “during all the busywork, i’m not saying anything, but i keep giving worried and stressed glances at my little friend”

in the middle of planning, with zero transition or context, caleb goes, “also i have a cat” and doesn’t offer context til jester goes ?? yes he’s cute?

gets excited & dances in the street w/nott on his shoulders (stim!!)

nott, when caleb ignores jester in favor of reading: he gets like this when he’s studying. he gets very focused, it’s best not to disturb him

“i prefer him as a cat, to be honest, but in a pinch–” change Bad, cat Good

when jester braids caleb’s hair, liam says “it feels nice”; Sensory Good

“i’m a good talker when i have to be”; qualifies the statement, implying it’s an occasional mask he dons when Necessary

E4:

nott: no one’s going to be around to save you if you get into trouble caleb: i’m almost dead already nott: yeah, that’s not good jester: that’s not comforting, caleb

at the very end of caleb’s conversation w/the guard, liam says caleb looks him in the eye, which implies he was Avoiding eye contact before that

caleb, in court, bluntly: i’m a dirty hobo and i reek like yesterday’s garbage

caleb, abruptly: well, you know, this is very fascinating, but i have some errands to run. nott, would you like to run errands with me? we are totally coming back and not leaving on our own undercover

caleb calls the old shopkeep “grandfather”; he does this with other elderly folks in later episodes too [the woman in the melora statue; madam musk], even when he knows their names. seems like maybe an internal rule that he has to refer to old folks this way bc it’s Respectful?

caleb, overexplaining: this is called a bath nott: i’ve heard of them caleb, still overexplaining: a hot bath

E5:

caleb: before i go away, am i looking for anything specific? beau: just people coming caleb, echoing: people coming…

caleb ducks back behind a corner mid-fight & says “nein nein nein"; repetitive speech

caleb later ducks back behind the same corner & says “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”; Big Autistic Mood

coin-counting!!

E6:

[abruptly] “well, my social anxiety is getting the best of me. i’m taking a walk. goodbye” + brisk exit

“sorry, my curiosity gets the best of me, always”; blurts out questions

caleb realizes belatedly that his question abt alfield giving them extra coin was callous, goes “it’s asking a bit much, i was too forward”; low empathy

“i’’m sorry, it’s very noisy in the shop. what did you say?”; APD

the whole conversation in the shop caleb is just–super blunt. “i’ve been on the road a long time and i’m carrying a smell with me, if you cannot tell" “to the point, i like it” “i don’t mean cheap shit” “well, it’s a barn, ja?”

caleb, on being reminded that people are dying: maybe i can put [turning frumpkin back into a cat] on hold, although i really hate to (emotional support animal + Different Is Bad + low empathy)

“we can do both, but there is a timestamp on the people. we should take care of the people first, because then we’re increasing how much gold we will bring in, because if they die then we will not get as much money for them if they are alive”; low empathy + extreme practicality

E7:

“yes, handle this [grievously injured] child, but then we’re very curious to ask a couple–i’ll shut up”; [sing-song voice] low empathy……

caleb: you know, it’s funny, because only about 30 minutes ago i also had a bird, but he was obliterated beau: oh, that’s right caleb: it was very sad. i’ll bring him back tomorrow shakaste: thanks for that caleb, oblivious: he and i, we are [crosses fingers] like that

E8:

jester: well, she’s mostly known for her hmm-hmm-hmm. outside of that, her voice is amazing, you should hear her sing caleb: what does that mean? jester: what does what mean? caleb: hmm-hmm-hmm

E9:

feel like it’s worth noting this is the episode where beau tells caleb “maybe you would know what we’re up to if you went along with the group for once!” & from there on out p much invariably caleb makes it a point to step back & go along wherever the group wants. so–internal rule!

“i’ve got to stop complimenting you, it does not lead to good moments” + immediately walks away

beau, shouting: he said enTHUSIASM! caleb, jumping & cringing: ohH jeez!!

caleb sees that yasha is uncomfortable w/jester hugging her & does an Understanding Nod; yasha says, “i’m very uncomfortable with human touch” & caleb goes “i feel like i know you better now”; reads as Same Hat

gets angry at jester. swipes mud down his face in a wordless fuck-you. doesn’t rly align w/any specific autistic traits but listen. listen. does that seem like the kind of thing a neurotypical would do? i don’t think so.

E10:

molly pins caleb to the wall & caleb does not make eye contact or speak

caleb gets stuck for a bit repeating variations of “who kicks a cat?!?!”

[pepprs]

[DONT RB] ok so there’s no way for me to talk abt this that isn’t gonna make me look like an absolute dumbass but im in the middle of a creative existential crisis and i rly need help figuring it out :•( this is gonna get SUPER LONG so im putting it under a readmore. thank u to anyone who reads this!!! and double thank u to anyone who can give some input / advice, i rly rly appreciate it. im sorry abt the length!

aight so for some background.... ive been drawing n writing poetry for abt 5 yrs now and both of those things r rly important to me. in school im an english major w a creative writing minor (for the poetry) and i work as a graphic designer (for the art) so ive been growing a lot as an artist and writer esp in the past 2 yrs and im kinda workin towards one or the other (or ideally both somehow!) as a career. one of the biggest dreams ive had since i started seriously pursuing both of these hobbies 5 yrs ago is to publish a book of poetry that i design / illustrate myself, and also to have a portfolio online where ppl can read all of my poetry and see all of my artwork (both professional / work stuff but also archives of all of my sketchbooks since those r rly important to me!!!) and maybe even make some sort of online shop where ppl can buy my art (stickers, keychains, etc!) and my poetry books!

that sounds pretty simple right? WRONG!!!!!! why? bc im a fucking idiot! and there are several dumb things i do that make this dream completely impossible for me to achieve! love that for me!

so for starters... ive been posting (almost) all of my art and ALL of my poetry online for all 5 yrs ive been creating it. that’s bad because:

ive hardly ever used my real name (which i would want to use for the book / shop / portfolio), it’s been under my usernames / aliases that go along w them (p*pe, pep, pea, etc and related usernames that shall not be mentioned) and i started going by my real first name only abt a yr ago, but still maintain those usernames for the most part in conjunction w my real name

my work has been primarily been posted to d*viantart and tumblr which aren’t exactly the most uh... professional places to do that. not that there rly are many i guess lmao but still

my online persona on these platforms is rly like. lax and loose which is Cool And Quirky when brought into a professional setting if it’s done right i guess.... but im just immature and unprofessional. i swear all the time, i shitpost constantly, im incessantly tmi? and that’s not even it like it’s just a whole mess!

SO there’s that whole set of problems and like im just concerned because... i stopped posting art online last yr for the most part and a lot of the old stuff that’s on dA (since that was rly where i did it most) is bad and not worth sharing like that anyways, so im not as worried abt that. but my poetry.... i still actively post that online in all my messiness and candidness here and like. it’s rly not that hard to find me? like if u copy a poem of mine and put it in google it’ll pull up my dA right away! and that’s like.... GOD i just am embarrassed for anyone irl to see that or for that to be connected with my irl / professional self in the future, but i don’t want to stop posting my work there (or here!!!!!) bc the community is so supportive and ive made some rly good connections / built a lot of traction over the 5 yrs ive been doing it. (PLUS for the online portfolio i wanna do specifically... i kinda want to post all of my art and poetry there, like everything ive ever done (specifically poetry, ive written almost 500 poems over the 5 yrs ive been doing it!), but i feel like that’s not rly the most professional thing to do and idk how to even gauge whether it is or not :-/)

but that’s not all!!!! because there’s another part to this and that is: the very nature of the content i produce is Not Good! for my art it’s not as much of a problem bc since I work as an artist rn a lot of what i make is professional, but for my personal art... a lot of that is either self portraits or my characters and a lot of my characters are like. animals. like specifically pepe (who is basically Me As A Cat).... i draw her constantly and so much of my best work is of her but it’s just like? embarrassing i guess for my ocs to take up so much of my portfolio and sketchbooks and stuff and share that. like i know everyone has characters and it’s not bad to do that and share that but i feel like ppl will judge me :-( so it’s made me rly hesitant to post stuff to my art ig for example bc i just don’t fucking know how to act, like it’s bad enough that i can’t type the way i want to and i have to type in proper caps n whatever instead bc irls i don’t know / trust as well follow me (including some ppl from work? Yikes?)....... but i feel like i can’t share my sketchbook stuff for example bc it’s all cats and my characters and visual shitposts and im uncomfy to share that bc like... im almost 20 and i don’t want ppl to think im immature or whatever? i kno i should feel like it’s my account and i can post wot i want but like. i fucking can’t bro i just can’t!!

and THEN.... my poetry. that’s the biggie bc like for my art? even tho im uncomfortable i don’t mind sharing that w ppl i know irl but for my POETRY.... it’s very easy to find like where i share that i guess? (the google thing i mentioned earlier but also its linked to my art on here and dA too... f) but i literally never actively share my writing w irl ppl unless im performing @ an open mic or workshopping in class bc im fucking terrified of the possibility of irl ppl finding my poetry. it’s almost ironic how public ive been w it online but how private i am abt it irl... it’s like im living a double life and it’s fucking terrible but it’s the only way i feel safe. bc like art is what i do for other ppl and also to destress and vent when i need a quick fix on my own time. but poetry.... that’s personal, it’s where i feel most like myself, it’s how i talk abt my life and ppl in it and make meaning of things and talk abt things authentically and Get Deep. and my literal worst nightmare is for ppl (who have the explicit ability to by virtue of Knowing Me) to read into it and Understand what im talking abt and have that power over me and see me differently for feeling the way i do or doing what i do. ive actually already been burned by this before after my mom read some work of mine that had been published irl (i don’t want to get too into it but basically i retroactively outed myself thru her reading that poem for what it was and it was Very Very Bad) and as paranoid abt it as i was before, it’s even worse now that it’s actually happened to me and could happen again at any time, esp if i decide to take my work further.

that manifests in a few ways too, like my writing is so cryptic and vague and very heavy on metaphors / symbolism and shit partially out of that deep fear and need to shield myself and my work. sometimes in spaces where i do feel comfy sharing, ppl have a hard time understanding my poetry unless i give context. online and on stage and in workshop ppl don’t rly know me outside of a context where the only thing we have in common is self expression thru poetry, so i don’t rly mind sharing more when it’s appropriate. but if i were to share my work as a book or w/e, ppl im close to (who maybe don’t always think like a poet / artist does bc they aren’t that) would want to buy it and read it and might ask abt what it means and i don’t even know what i would do in that situation. and if ppl were to read my work and see themselves / others in it, whether it is abt them or not, im scared it could genuinely damage relationships like it did with my mom.

SO UH.... idk where im going w this rly, i kno it’s long and rambly and melodramatic and im probably overthinking it and making a mountain out of a molehill and nobody even knows / cares abt me AND my work @ the same time enough to read That Deep into it. but it just fucking sucks that im so uncomfortable and insecure that i can’t comfortably fulfill literally the one single long term goal / life dream that i have. andthe thing that sucks is i can’t talk to Anybody abt this except like... my sister and brother bc they’re the only ppl i genuinely tell everything to, but they don’t have the knowledge and expertise abt art / poetry that like... my poetry prof does, for example. and my poetry prof is one of the best ppl ive ever met and the Only person ive ever met irl who respects and understands my poetry in the exact way i need someone to. she and i have been talking and she rly wants to help me publish my poetry bc she sees merit in my work and knows how bad i want to / how successful it’s been already, but i don’t know how to talk abt this to her bc im embarrassed to tell her abt posting online and being ashamed abt my muses and all that and it just!!! sucks so much bc i kinda want to publish my work @ least once before i graduate and do it semi regularly for the rest of my life? but there’s so much in my way and it’s just! FGGFHDGJGGGG

[felixeslee]

92 q tag

hello this tag is highkey irrelevant now but it’s been in my drafts for ages so !! laskdgjasodigjsaldkgasodigjasdg which is why i wont b tagging anyone bc im so late but !! yeah !! ok !! !!!!!!!!!1111!!! lets !! go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

tagged by @hyuunjins @hyunjinh @straykiz and @dae-hwee from my w1 blog (lmaoo hi pindi this is sarah!! AIddgsdfk if youre aware of this blog but hope its ok if i do it here alskdg ) 

rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. 

🌙 LAST

Drink: the water that I drank this morning!! Aka around 12 hrs ago asdgasdgoij pls stay hydrated kids 

Text Message: i texted my brother if he knew where my dad was lol,,,,,,, sldkjgaosidgj 

Phone Call: CALLED MY BROTHER BC HE WASNT RESPONDING MY TEXTS,,,,, he also didn’t pick up ldskgjsoidgjsldkgsjdg

Song you listened to: Goodbye My Love by Aileeeee <3 lovv 

Time you cried: TODAY ,,,, i was getting super anxious bc i didn’t know where my dad was ??? he was supposed to pick me up but he forgot abt me until like an hr later… sldkgjaosidgj 

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: no :00 lmao i’ve never dated… ever alskdjgaoijsdf 

Kissed someone and regretted it: i havent had my first kiss yet HEH 

Lost someone special: unfortunately, yes :( 

Been depressed: sdgksjadoiglskdfosdijgalskdfaosdigjaksdgoaisdjf idk 

Been drunk and thrown up: lmao i’ve never drank ,,, at all,,,, the smell of alchohol scares me,,,,, evn my little brother has had a sip once and he’s 5 yrs younger LMAO ,,, but im a noob and don’t wanna try sldkgjosidjgs 

🌙 IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: yay yes yeslgkdgsdf

Fallen out of love: i dont think i’ve ever evn been in love…. Sdlgksjdoigj 

Met someone who changed you: yes,,,,,,,,, 

Found out who your true friends are: uhhhh idk aslkdgjaosidjf i honestly can never tell when someone’s being a fake friend so!!!!!! Idk honestly lmao

Found out someone was talking about you: i did ! but it wasn’t for anything bad or anything……… they just criticized me behind my back?? But i agreed w their criticism so alsdkjgaosidgj  

🌙 GENERAL

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: ummm,,,, like 4?? We r mutuals evn though none of them r actually kpop blogs,,,, so i always feel guilty spamminig their aesthetic feed w my screaming tags and annoying shit LMAO but i lov them <3 

Do you have any pets?: NO :”( I WANT A DOGGO THO …. REALLY BAD…..

Do you want to change your name?: uhhh ik so many sarahs its not evn funny and my last name is hella basic too????? Theres 3 ppl that share my first+last name in my school alone….. So maybe i’d change it to my chinese name (yue) ?? also bc it sounds more sophisticated,, and i lov anything that makes me sound smarter than the reality of my dumb self LOL 

What time did you wake up this morning: LOL so my alarm rings at 6:40 but i get out of bed at 7:10 SLDGKJSODIF … and i need to get out of the house by 7:20 lsdkgsdoig 

What were you doing last night: physics and apush :SLDGJOSIDFJ the 2 most dreaded classes UGH

Something you cannot wait for: DINNER .. i love me some gud dinner

Have you ever talked to a person named tom?: thomas jefferson my mAN 

What’s getting on your nerves right now: when it’s so heckin cold i can’t concentrate + i hate taking notes when it’s cold??? Bc then my hands r like half numb and it HURTS WHEN I TAKE NOTES sldkgsoidjf ALSO WHEN I DRAW ,,,,, STIFF FINGERS R THE WORST WHEN DRAWING

Blood type: i think a????????????

Nickname: my most common ones r swisso + salad (i promise these make sense in context LOL ) 

Relationship status: return NullPointerException; //im a cs person,,, dont judge

Zodiac sign: capricorn!

Pronouns: she + her

Favorite show: i dont watch many shows but i love watching a gud studio ghibli movie when im feelin down

College: this QUESTION LSDKGJSODIGJ ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wanna go to college but will any accept me ??!?!

Hair colour: its naturally black but it’s currently dyed ombre from black → brown !!!!!!

Do you have a crush on someone: i havent had a legit crush in 3 yrs lmao……. 

What do you like about yourself: the fact that im a deep sleeper. Idk how light sleepers function omg like wouldn’t u wake up to like,,,,, everything??! :((( that makes me sad bc u hav no idea how much i lov a nice long undisturbed slumber

   🌙 FIRSTS

First surgery: okAY so like i've had 2 procedures done on my eyes lmaooo like (1) when i was a smol beb of like 1 yr old i rolled off my bed aaaannnnddd the corner of my eye hit the edge of the sharp corner of the bedside table!!! and then y1ke$ things got ugly loll (((yes, i wuz dum + clumsy since the day i popped from the womb))) its all stitched up now and i hav a tinie tinie scar aslkdgs okay and (2) there was something weird abt my tearducts LOL so u know when u get sad nd stuff ur nose gets runny and u sniff a lot??? well like that wasn't the case for me bc the passage way from my eyes to my nose was completely blocked off,,,,, which resulted in me lookin like i was full blown cryin like every 2 seconds... like if i kept my eyes open for too long my eyes would get watery and tears would flow out LMAO ,,,, i looked like i just never stopped crying,,, but it was just my eyes were just ALWAYS WATERING sdlgjsdif damn u have no idea after the procedure i was like 'do ppl live like this??? not having to wipe tears every 0.2 sec??? oh my god,,, i am livin THE LIFE' 

First piercing: i hav no piercings!!! Bc stabbing holes thru myself scares me sdlkjgsoidg but i love the way earrings look tho so :///// 

First sport you joined: dance or gymnastics???? I dont rly remember

First vacation: CHINA prob???? 

First pair of sneakers: i think sketchers LMAO ,,, the big thing  

🌙 RIGHT NOW

Eating: nothing!!!!!

I’m about to: do som sketches for my AP art class 

Listening to: my dad sing som old chinese folk stuff behind me LOL 

Want kids: i already adopted all 9 members of stray kids tho ??? idk if im ready for more atm 

Get married: LOL This question just reminded me of smol story from my childhood: so like i used to b rly close w these 3 other kids,,,, one other girl and 2 guys,,, and our parents were all rly tight too,, and our four families would just go camping together and it was rly :’’D fun and so we all made a pact that I would marry one of the guys and the other girl would marry the other guy and we’d all go camping together forever but then KINDERGARTEN HIT,,,, we moved schools and yeah im still rly close w the girl but i miss the 4 of us dkgjsodigjsdlkgsdf LOL 

Career: waterbottle 🌙 

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: eyes? Eh idk i just never rly considered lips ?? LOL 

Hugs or kisses: hugs? I dont hav experience w kisses so sldkgjsoidgjsd yike syikes yikes 

Shorter or taller: TALLER

Troublemaker or hesitant: uhhhhh neither??? Like i just want someone playful + extroverted bc im quite introverted,,,,,,,,,, so if he was hesitant we’d just b super awkward and quiet,,, and i don’t like getting involved w sketchy troublemaker shit either LOL ,,, 

Older or younger: as long as they r in the same school grade level,,,, and i guess 1-2 yrs older is okaY? But lowkey freaks me out if too old 

Romantic or spontaneous: sldkgjsoidfj both? Like i lov someone who is unpredictable and spontaneous,,,, but on the other hand im lowkey a helpless romantic lasdkgjaoisdjf 

Sensitive or loud: both i guess too??? Its good to have someone understanding and sensitive but also someone who knows how to have fun  :) 

Hookup or relationship: hookups,,,,,,,, just dont make sense to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i get attached to someone p easily so even if i dont plan on being attached,,,, i’d probably get attached :(  

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: YIKES no 

Drank hard liquor: nO 

 Lost contacts/glasses: UH I HATE THIS BUT YES….. 

Sex on first date: yikes * (6.02 *10^23) adkgaosidjgaslkdf no thaNK you 

Broken someone’s heart: i dont know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i might’ve but maybe im just not aware ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but on a sidenote i think my old comupter science teacher gets a migrain everytime he sees me LOLLLLLL sdlgjsoidgjsldf 

Been arrested: no,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :0 

Turned someone down: yeah lmao i kinda feel bad tho bc they were all good ppl,,,,  lskjgosidjf but thankfully im still good friends and pretty tight w all of them ~  

🌙 DO YOU BELIEVE

In yourself: ocassionally i try to :’’D

Miracles: lol yes 

Love at first sight: i used to ? but not anymore,,,, like i believe u can be attracted to someone at first sight ?? but i feel like love cannot be attained thru visual contact only asldgjoasidjalsdg

[baby-namjoon-archive]

38, 24, 22, and 3 if you want

3. Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. Uhhhhhhhh am I rly going to have to do this im so bad at talking abt positive things ajbdsjdj,,,,, okay so I’m pretty sure we’ve known each other for about 1-2 years, I’m amazingly bad with times ajdnsj she is the sweetest most amazing girl i had ever had the pleasure to meet. Whenever I speak with her I feel like my chest is going to burn out of my chest??? Like oh fuck yeah I’m going to sound like such a cliché but damn????? she is literally the only person who can make me blush. the only ways i can blush are 1. i work out too much 2. she says literally anything be it sweet or smooth or stupid i can’t dealshe loves cats and she loves dogs and she likes going to pumpkin patches and ???? I’m seriously in love??? she is really smart and hard working and funny and i??? I’d die for her???? and she loves my big ass soft dog and i love her cats and her dog and !!!!! fuck !!!!! I can’t wait to have her by my side

22. Talk about your worst fear.Ok so my worst fear? Uh,,,, ok so I think one of the worst things my mind can make up (and listen I’m afraid of everything so like…. This shit’s real) is,,, I don’t know if it exactly counts as a ‘fear’ per se but you know when you are talking and someone interrupts you like you were never even talking and nobody notices or says anything? I think (and i dont want to sound like some clichéd shit lmao) my biggest fear is to not be acknowledged or to be ignored? I mean, I’m used to it ofc but whenever someone ignores me or blocks me or whatever I just feel like I did something wrong or that I just don’t matter anymore? I mean idk I could overshare a bit more but maybe it’s just that I have trust/abandonment issues

24. Talk about something that someone told you that meant a lot. I’m seriously so bad at remembering things people say to me!!!! but !!!! A friend of mine once said to me something along the lines of “well then what more is there to do I’m your new dad” (context will not be given it is not important shhhh) and well I started crying and haven’t stopped thinking about it so I guess you could say it meant a LOT

38. Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.no thank you lol im sorry im not strong enough lol if u ask me again in some time or when im drunk u can have ur answer

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

[A6A6I5] ====>

ROZE: I don't mean ta be too analytical 'bout gett'n ta K-N-to-tha-izzow you, really so i can get mah pimp on. ROZE: I guess comparizzles are shawty hard fo` me ta avoid, S-to-tha-izzince tha adult versizzle of you played sizzay a significant rizzole 'n mah life. ROSE: Holla! So I cizzle help see'n tha similarities when T-H-to-tha-izzey be there. ROZE: Biznut also you be so clearly yizzy own person, shizzle by yo' own experizzles, n that be tha person I would prefa ta git ta know, ratha than a yiznoung avatar fo` tha memorizzle of a departizzle pizzle. ROZE: Yizzy dis be tha context whizzay somewhat inescapablizzle colors mah perception of W-H-to-tha-izzat yizzy reveal. ROZE paper'd up: So whizzle S-to-tha-izzome observations be 'n tha vein of predizzle, charmingly so, mizzle yiznou now pass the glock... ROZE: Playa I regard as frontin' cuz this is how we do it. RIZZLE: what 'bout me be surpris'n? ROZE: Wizzell. ROZE: Yizzay aren't, ROZE: Yizzou don't quite sizzeem like a persizzle whizzo... ROZE: Wanna be gangsta. RIZZLE: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. .....? ROZE: Holla! I don't want ta ask anyth'n thizzay would sound rizzle ta yizzay, or spiteful ta ha. ROZE: Becizzle I don't feel thizzat conflicted 'bout dis anymore if you gots a paper stack. ROZE: Particularly sizzle I had mah own troubles wit it. So it wizzy be P-R-E-Double-Tizzy hypocritical.

ROXY: conflicted 'bout what?

ROZE: Let me back up a shawty. ROZE: It wizzy a lizzay rizzy on thiznat meteor. ROZE: One experiences rhymin' ova a fizzay years, gizzle a lot of time ta think. Chizzles n such. ROZE: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. 'bout half wizzay thriznough, I startizzle think'n more... I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. ROZE: You gotta check dis shit out yo. 'bout mizzom. N 'bout you. ROSE doggystyle: Know'n tizzy I'd probably mizzeet you, n. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. I don't know. You gotta check dis shit out yo. Live up ta tha experizzle? ROZE: It S-I-Double-Lizzy, but I'm guess'n you understand what I mizzay.

ROXIZZLE: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. :)

ROZE: Basically, I was just nervous. It dont stop till the wheels fall off. ROZE: N it wizzy all mixed up wit ballin' of conflict n remorze shot calla mah motha. ROZE: Who, ta mah hazy preteen recizzle, neva wasted a day 'n mah lizzay on sobriety. ROZE: She and ha habit put all thoze dizzay ta quite effective uze, actizzle. ROZE: N I don't even Q-to-tha-izzuite rememba tha thought process that lizzy ta dis, but, ROZE: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. I S-to-tha-izzort of ran wit it tiznoo? Nigga get shut up or get wet up. ROZE: Tha habit, I M-to-tha-izzean with my forty-fo' mag. Fo` a while at L-to-tha-izzeast paper'd up. ROZE: I was still dizzle 'bout los'n ha. N wanted ta understand ha. ROZE: Ta connect wit ha, 'n some way like this and like that and like this and uh. N I gizzay that was tha only idizzle I had so i can get mah pimp on. ROZE: N on some level, I think connect'n wit crazy ass nigga was also a way of prepizzle myself ta meet yizzay... ROZE: Even though that probablizzle makes no senze, know what im sayin? ROZE: Since you aren't literally ha, n don't shizzle all ha... ROZE: I guess I shouldn't S-P-to-tha-izzeak fo` yiznou, T-H-to-tha-izzough where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'. RIZZLE now pass the glock: so youre sayin RIZZLE: youre surprize' im unlike ha in that way cauze i diznont sizzeem liznike someone whod git drizzle off motherfucka ass all tha time? ROZE: Um-

ROXY, know what im sayin? hahahizzle ROXY: You gotta check dis shit out yo. wizzell i guess i sizzy be flattered if u rly thizzle so B-to-tha-izzuttttt RIZZLE: wrizzong

ROSE: So... you,

ROXY: mah storys kizzle of like yizzle! ROXY doggystyle: i had a mizzom i neva knew n wanted ta feel cloze ta ha howeva i could ROXY: i G-R-to-tha-izzew up MOSTLY unsupervize' 'n her old old hizouze ROXY fo' real: n it hizzle all dis old stizzle 'n it P-L-to-tha-izzus sizzle old booze squirrelled away H-to-tha-izzere n there ROXY: aaand i just uhhh startizzle up even tho i wizzas WAY too yizzay fizzle shit like T-H-to-tha-izzat WHOOPS.... ROXY: n lizzy i sizzle it was a bit lite on discipline rizzay tizzy, its niznot lizzay a bizzle silly pumpkin hustla were gonna stop me

ROZE: Pumpkin eata puttin tha smack down?

ROXY: chess guys ROXY: loads of them

ROZE: ! I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier.

ROXY: but yeah i wanted ta be like hizzy n do whiznat she did but mostlizzle just made a hizzot catastrophe of mysizzay ROXIZZLE: I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier. i D-to-tha-izzoubt thizzle be what shizzay wantizzle ROXIZZLE: at tha time it seemed like a coo' th'n a R-to-tha-izzeal intellectual an mysterious book celebrity would do whizzay also lead'n a badizzles n secretly subversive life 'n opposizzle of tyranny ROXY: but

RIZZLE: i thizzay what be M-to-tha-izzore likizzle be RIZZLE aww nah: she knew tha whole world wizzle end n everyone would dizzle no crazy ass nigga what she did RIZZLE if you gots a paper stack: whizzle was prizzle hard ta lizzy wit

ROXY: idk if i cizzy bizzy tha old lady fo` wizzle ta git a WIZZEE bizzle saucizzle gangsta a couple of rapp'n clizzle won a presidential election

ROZE so bow down to the bow wow! Y-to-tha-izzeah, I... ROZE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. Wiznait, whizzat? ROZE: Clowns?

ROXY cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: liznong story ROXY: biznad story

RIZZLE: plz continue ROZE: Ok. Yizzes, I'm sure mah motha K-N-to-tha-izzew tha end wizzle com'n too. ROZE, ya feel me? Know'n that helped pizzy a lot of ha behavior 'n context fo` me. I was always too young ta understand like a motha fucka.

ROXY: poor M-to-tha-izzoms :( ROXY: poor poor adult dead sexy ladizzle us : Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga.( :(

ROZE: Truth.

ROXY: but anywizzle ROXY n we out! back ta... us!

RIZZLE: kizzle alive sexy lady us ROZE: Anotha dogg house production. Yizzay. ROZE: Holla! It sounds like yo' Roze hizzay an incredible cracka, bizzy all sippin' considered, I prefa bein kid alizzle sexy lady me.

ROXY n shit: agree ROXY: i kizzy what you mizzay 'bout bein nizzles ROXY: 'bout meet'n you i mizzle ROXY: mizzaybe nervous isnt quite rizzle but ROXY: when i startizzle crack-a-lackin` 'bout sippin' u be when i started thinkin so sit back relax new jacks get smacked...

RIZZLE: i shizzould trizny bein not QUIIITE such a mizzy

ROXIZZLE: so i started takin tha idizzle of clean'n up mah act more seriously

ROZE: Ultimately, I concluded tha same th'n. ROZE: I decided it wouldn't be a verizzle dignify way ta make an entrance. ROZE: Or fo` that poser, a very constructizzle way ta help out 'n a struggle ta preserve realitizzle. ROZE: Luckily, I wizzle able ta cut it out a while ago. I admit, it W-to-tha-izzasn't easy. ROZE: Bizzay it helped a lizzot ta have thugz arizzle look'n out fo` me. ROZE: *Poke.*

KANAYA: ... Chill as I take you on a trip. KANIZZLE: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. *Sits Pizzle*

ROXY: yeah i hizzad niggaz hiznelp me too! ROXY: i couldnta done it w/o them eitha

ROZE fo gettin yo pimp on: I neva had "IRL" niggaz before dis trizzle. ROZE: It interest'n ta obsizzle tha various ways tizzy applizzle themselves ta yo' benizzle. ROZE: Sizzome thugz be around ta mizzay you F-to-tha-izzeel like yoe wizzle stick'n wit, even when yizzou fuck up doggystyle. ROZE: Hollaz to the East Side. N some thugz be around to kiznick yo' ass ta make sure you don't to increase tha peace.

ROXY: haha ROXIZZLE: i T-H-to-tha-izzink i had ta pizzy tha latta rizzle ta mah niggaz a lot ROXY: n also ta myself i gizzay ROXY: whizzay kicked yo' ass ROXY, chill yo: was it tha yelly homey pusha there?

RIZZY: No, Karkat was mostly preoccupied wit his own... shenanigans so bow down to the bow wow! ROZE: Thizzle yell'n be deceptive. He a ratha private person. ROZE with the S-N-double-O-P: Vrizzle, howeva hittin that booty. ROZE: She really be quite an extravagizzle B-to-tha-izzitch.

ROXY: You gotta check dis shit out yo. lmao

ROZE: But it tizzurns out thugz like T-H-to-tha-izzat tend ta have some convenizzle assizzles. ROZE: Sizzle as, tha shea force of personalizzle to keep a bunch of idizzles from fall'n apart with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin. ROZE: D-to-tha-izzon't git me wrong. It qizzle annoy'n. ROZE: But... useful.

ROXY fo my bling bling: yizzle ROXY: i probably shiznould hizzay been more of a B-to-tha-izzitch ta all mah pizzay ROXY: maybe we wouldnt hizzle gone ta jail n dy

ROZE: Let it be a lessizzle ta us all. Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf.

> [A6A6I5] ====>

[kkukkung]

"kiho is... fascinating rly" what do u mean 👀

their relationship dynamic is v fascinating and fanfic fuel.. lov the way kihyun... needs to win... and wonho kind of lets him........ but also they’re v tender idk LOV this photoset... ykh is always 100% serious when he attacks ??? but then he’s a very... aftercare guy.... bye

more asks under the cut (dated newest to oldest)

u kno that thing kihyun does when he has the camera where he like...tilts his head back a lil and shakes it a bit. it cute

hate 2 admit this but he rly is.... v c*te... v sexy 2 when he’s BEHIND the camera and he squints and grits one side of his teeth... ok ok ok ok alright alright alr

i dont rlly think hoseok is bi i think hes pan like if hes in love he doesnt rlly care what gender they are

mmm i use the two v interchangeably bc currently i don’t think there is a clear distinction between them? what u said is the traditional dictionary difference but a lot of bisexual people identify with that too and a lot of pansexual people don’t? like from what i’ve been observing, the bi = binary genders/more than one gender, pan = all genders thing doesn’t rly seem to help that much in establishing the difference btwn them? for example........ i usually say im bi irl and pan on tumblr just bc of the difference between levels of lgbtq understanding under varied contexts... but that obviously doesn’t apply to everyone... so yeah frankly i’m still confused abt the difference between them and i guess... just letting ppl fall into whatever they think is right for them is the only way to go? but like tell me if i’m getting smth wrong here lol. also i saved the url pansexualwonho shfjdkgj

hello bunny do u have a wishlist

no and get off my blog stinky

leave ur gf for me

what does it mean when ur gf has a bf and ur also kind of seeing kakashi hatake?? :/ are we all dating by association??

wonho looks like jooheon and IM sugar daddy in that picture or something....

jshgjfk i think this was abt the units teaser photo right? (x) tbh i feel like jooheon looks more sugar daddy here but wonho has a lot of potential... he’d definitely Spoil the person(s) he’s dating :/

I just checked and the members of that new variety show minhyuk will be in are all giants, they are all above 180cm, well besides actually minhyuk lolz it's kinda funny, but I guess he won't need to make himself seem smaller since he's the tiny one this time

my breath hitched when i read this ??? aaa ur right... tbh i don’t know how im going to... survive this show bc it’s... so blindingly... visual?? have high hopes for it i know he’s going to do so well... and ummmmmMM imagine him... making himself XXXXXXXXXXXXXS precisely bc he knows it’s going to b cute n like... tucking himself against eunwoo or smth i might die

YOUR TAGS MAKE ME SO HAPPY!!

THANK U?????? 💖💖💖💖💖 cute anons make me happi :’0

to reaffirm you as a wonho stan: you have 149 pages filed under wonho on your blog but only 118 under minhyuk. however i believe recently 3/5 of your posts are minhyuk posts.

this felt like it was heading somewhere but the second half jfkhgsj i mean,,

do you know where that picture of kihyun and the join forces with communists or end star wars picture is from with his hand up on a bluish greyish wall i rlly like his hand there u know and I think that we sHould join forces with him and he's right we need to make a stand for it but anyways if u know where the pocture is from may u pls share it thnx I lov ur blog lots

@marxistkihyun

[nsfw text warning] i was reading this wonhyuk fic and thought of u immediately archiveofourown org/works/10314092 mostlytop!mh slight daddy kink mh takes extra care of wh :') enjoy

UH ANON................ HOW DID U KNOW....... EXACTLY WHAT I LIKE...... AND THIS LINE... THIS LINE... “He likes Hoseok, but he likes when pretty girls tie him up and sit on his face too”,,,,,,,, rly the best lmh characterisation i’ve ever read sdjkfgh gbye this was rly sweet and well-written and realistic and i think??? i lov u?? and i lov my poly + bi boyfriends :(((( thank u sm for the rec i rly enjoyed it

i'm east asian too and non-asian ppl keep telling me that "rat" and "snake" are racial slurs and i've never heard of such a thing until i joined kpop fandom (rly recently). if you want my honest opinion it's another one of those things where like... overzealous SJWs nitpick terminology and project on POC even tho they have never experienced it themselves... idk. i rly have never heard any of those terms used against asians before as racial slurs...i've seen other asian fans also question this

(regarding this ask) yeah lmao i mean............ the more i think abt it the more i feel like it was ??? just such a strange thing to have been told... and the way it was said as well... like “this is a racial slur so don’t say it” feels condescending ?? like, me, an east asian person, being “educated” abt racism against east asian people by an anon on the internet for a post that had zero connection to race and terms taken way out of context (that generally aren’t racially charged anyway).... ok lol

Wonho decided to change the title from ^give it to you^ to ^524^ I wonder if it's because of their debut date or something similar?

yes~ 5.14 is their debut date! it was also the time on the clock in the teaser :3c but it still doesn’t rly explain why he changed it? strange bc i thought the song would b emo bc of the changed title but it was kinda.. boppy?? sounds more like a “give it 2 u” than a “last page” hmm but gotta hear the whole thing first ig

I have the impression that Wonho is a sensitive person, he can get hurt easily (but won't hold grudges) and carry his emotions for a really long time. I think he tends to delve in his emotions and thoughts constantly and is thoughtful of when/how he should share them to not burden others. He's ALL IN for his members, trying to cheer them up and tying them all together [rmbr when he made JooHyuk hug to avoid misunderstandings or when he gave Jooheon the biggest sweet potato] in a subtle way.

yessssssssssssssss yes i don’t have anything to add here yes yes yes he’s just... the best guy :(

The Monsta X/GOT7 Psychologist ISN'T A psychoanalist. AFAIK Psychoanalysis avoid archetypes, because the patient can use it as a excuse. Also, to psychoanalysis there isn't a cure, there's only a savoir-faire which means you won't change your past, but you can change how you feel about it, sometimes being able to extract lessons from those painful memories. Psychoanalysis works with words, the way we phrase things is how we conceive reality. So don't underrate your literal analysis+observations.

aaa thank u sm.......... i rly learnt a lot from u thank u v insightful.... pop psychology is fun but ig we have to be careful to not... confound it with the Real Thing and hold mx to it?? anyway thank u sm for taking the time to type out all ur asks they were v helpful!

wonho has honestly tried to kill minhyuk an incredible amount of times but in the end always remembers he can't commit murder in front of a camera...........................

idk wonho choking minhyuk was rly the hottest thing ive ever seen jsfhg bye God I Wish That Were Me

in that live where u said minhyuk tapped wonhos bicep with his little alien claw was honestly was so c*te... especially the contrast btwn mh featherless chicken feet fingers and wonho thiccness..... wonhyuk are rly so comfortable and natural with each other like u can't rly see it but it looks like wonho let go of the camera with the arm that was being tapped to hold minhyuks hand/wrist..................................................c*te

uh put thi s on my grave...... i love wonhyuk sm i could die :( they rly lov each other sm jkdgfhsdjkgfhhkkdg

Hellooo!

henlo rabbit

maybe im just naïve but starship ent. is overall an alright company - with all groups they promote they seem to be fair and equal and overall supportive :/ which makes me rlly thankful my children aren't being neglected;;

ahh yeah i think on the whole they’re not bad with mx... apart from when they didn’t send members to the hospital after they were in a literal car crash??? and idk just not great promo times and minor organisational things.. bc they have a certain amount of faith in mx the investment isn’t too shabby. but with like... other groups... like boyfriend...... idk ?? they were just shipped off to japan and never heard from again? and even sistar i mean, the conditions they worked in at the beginning was appalling :/

[caepaecaesurae]

> CC: Thank Meenah

Yesterday at 5:07 PM

caepaecaesurae WVe'vwe split, and the safe-house wvon't be needed anymore, on my end at least.  I'vwe left a small thank you present on the kitchen counter. I'd be in your debt if you could wvipe the coordinates used off of the pad's history list, if and wvhen convwenient. Thank you again, and havwe a nice night.

Yesterday at 9:38 PM

brackishbarracuda yeah i can do that isle head over in an hour oar so brackishbarracuda s good to sea u caepaecaesurae Good to see you too.  I appreciate the neutrality and the assistance. Havwing somewvhere empty to go helped more than once.

Today at 12:13 AM

brackishbarracuda ive been fused before an efin when its ppl u give a shit aboat its hard so i mean some place where u didnt have any extra ppl shoutin at u seemed pike a good idea to me caepaecaesurae It wvas. Did you separate from wvhomevwer it wvas peaceably?  Or vwia incompatibility? brackishbarracuda peaceably for both thankfully one was def a hell of a lot rockier than the other one tho aight the best puns are the ones u didnt mean to make i cannaut believe caepaecaesurae I do enjoy those ones. brackishbarracuda did u ever get hit w the gem thing caepaecaesurae As I am lost, it seems I did not. brackishbarracuda lemme find u a picture for full effect aight bc shit is stupid and mine was pike stupid times two brackishbarracuda http://imgur.com/sPQFO8t there we go rly tho how tf puts that shit on ur foot caepaecaesurae WVhat is that? brackishbarracuda aight so theres the weird sentient rock aliens who p much project around w/e rock they are an they do the fuse thing on purpose pike thats a thing they can do and a bunch a ppl got hit w it a while back usually shits pike on ur hand or ur forhead oar ur arm or somefin but no brackishbarracuda nah it was on my cod damn foot caepaecaesurae First I'vwe heard about them. ... You havwe my sympathies. WVhy the foot? brackishbarracuda idk i do naut fuckin no thats just where it was when i got got caepaecaesurae I imagine you sawv the tittastrophe wve had? brackishbarracuda yeah brackishbarracuda yeah that shore was somefin i saw w my own two eyes brackishbarracuda howd that whole thing go efin caepaecaesurae It looked rather like wve wvere split dowvn the middle vwertically in a lot of respects. The side wvith no breast had short hair like mine. WVe made a falsie so clothes wvould fit. brackishbarracuda now sea i woulda just said fuck it and done the whole half clothes shit pike jacket on one and dress on the other deal caepaecaesurae tsk.  I should'vwe talked to you more, that'd be a hell of a look. brackishbarracuda i mean u aint gotta b fused to pull it off right caepaecaesurae True.  It wvould complete the look though. caepaecaesurae I may try a half-and-half garment of some sort soon. brackishbarracuda plz take pictures i need this shit caepaecaesurae I do lovwe my selfie tag. brackishbarracuda s cause its good shit caepaecaesurae Howv do you feel about breasted, marginally nsfwv pictures of me? brackishbarracuda im down caepaecaesurae http://caepaecaesurae.tumblr.com/post/130431613390/speaking-of-anons-d brackishbarracuda v nice dam tho where tf did u get half those scars brackishbarracuda impressive caepaecaesurae I don't normally showv much skin. The large round ones on the legs are from an air battle invwolvwing laser cannons, during the game. brackishbarracuda uh first off fuckin ow caepaecaesurae Pff. Yes, but wve wvon. brackishbarracuda secondly i get it if u aint comfy w it oar w/e but u ought show more a it imo and that right theres why caepaecaesurae A good half of the scars you see there are from my first century on Alternia. ...at the end of wvhich, I began wvearing neck to wvrist to ankle bodyarmor, of the sort contained in that package.  Havwe you stopped by that hivwe yet, by the by? brackishbarracuda shit yeah i did i thought id said thank u btw caepaecaesurae You may havwe, I'm scattered lately. brackishbarracuda pike seariously i aint been in a searious scrape in a while but pike dam i cant get away from nofin w/o bleedin it feels like caepaecaesurae Armor that no one knowvs you're wvearing can be a wvonderful game changer. It turns a knife in the ribs into an invwitation to play. brackishbarracuda as much as i like it and the apron tbh shit is nice brackishbarracuda u probably made clams night more than mine w the armor caepaecaesurae I hope it servwes wvell, or entertains.  Or that the flavwor vwials do. brackishbarracuda hes the one whos gotta stitch me up half the tide caepaecaesurae A good role for a quadrant. If you elect to wvear the vwest, at least he'll only be stitching up limbs. brackishbarracuda lmao yeah fair also i should punch u in the nose for the fuckin shit u sent me pike it was so good that it legit made me mad how tf caepaecaesurae ... Hope player.  "Beyond belief" is my playground. brackishbarracuda throws my dam hands caepaecaesurae I can make things that I can imagine.  Cae*fora* made things that *She* could imagine. brackishbarracuda shit is fucked up caepaecaesurae A bit.  ... I usually try to make things that are slightly less... Intense... than that... I hope it wvasn't too much? brackishbarracuda isle survive but my tongue aint gonna b  happy w anyfin ever again this is me jokin mostly i aint upset at u oar anyfin caepaecaesurae ..Still, pardon. brackishbarracuda s aight cae ur good brackishbarracuda seariously tho why aint u show off ur scars more 38? caepaecaesurae Enough of them havwe unfortunate sources for it to be uncomfortable wvhen specific ones are indicated and remarked on, much of the time. caepaecaesurae ... Mostly, I don't like taking my armor off, evwer. I'vwe been getting better at removwing it long enough for selfies though. brackishbarracuda well dam the one u just showed me took some fuckin guts then didnt it caepaecaesurae Heh.  It wvas taken during a period of amnesia wvhere I didn't remember wvhere most of them wvere from. brackishbarracuda do u think u could do it again caepaecaesurae Possibly, though I think my selfie tag could use more less sexual things. brackishbarracuda u oughta take a pic w arlequin oar somefin then how tall efin are u btw pike are u taller than he is oar shorter or caepaecaesurae I'm a good foot and a half shorter than him, last I checked. brackishbarracuda well that makes me feel beta at least caepaecaesurae My adult height in sevweral centuries ought to be near wvhere he is nowv. brackishbarracuda yall are entirely too fuckin tall u kno that caepaecaesurae So I hear. If it makes you feel any better, all the humans top out somewvhere in the six or sevwen range I think.  They all look somewvhere betwveen fivwe and six nowv. The carapacians are a foot or twvo belowv that. brackishbarracuda pike im saury i realize u probably hear that alot but i am half a arlequins now hight an he was talkin pike sixteen feet an im overe here pike dude ur gonna b over three times my size how tf is that gonna efin work caepaecaesurae Carefully and wvith gusto. brackishbarracuda aight tru tho caepaecaesurae Havwe you evwer done the thing wvhere you rest hip to hip wvith a partner and pretend theirs is yours and marvwel at the difference? Some trolls enjoy that. I think that one wvill only improvwe as he ages, for you. caepaecaesurae "Look wvhat I'm packing nowv" brackishbarracuda i havent and now im kinda wonderin wtf ive been doin w my life caepaecaesurae You're wvelcome. .. Then again I'vwe used googly eyes in the bedroom before, so maybe my advwice isn't the best. brackishbarracuda bouy nah fuck that im gonna get a pack and use em on dirk that shit is perf caepaecaesurae My partner grewv annoyed and ripped them off, wvhich is honestly all I could hope for. brackishbarracuda tbh hell probably laugh till he cries which i count as a win brackishbarracuda but yeah tbh rippin em off sounds pike a good idea brackishbarracuda u kno me an u oughtta hang out sometide caepaecaesurae WVe should, I imagine wve'd get into heaps of trouble if any wvas avwailable. brackishbarracuda trouble is kinda my thing yeah brackishbarracuda i eel pike youd enjoy some trouble caepaecaesurae Once upon a time, maybe.  It's been a wvhile, and I might be a bit more boring nowv. Nice things, good stories, and good laughs?  Those are dear to heart. brackishbarracuda now sea mr suns out guns out tenta tattoo false boob ampora w the hella scars i aint believe you wouldnt enjoy a little trouble caepaecaesurae I'vwe had a vwery interesting life. I'm relearning howv to enjoy trouble. brackishbarracuda isle sea if i cant think of some baby trouble steps caepaecaesurae Sounds like a treat to me. caepaecaesurae Let me knowv sometime, alright? brackishbarracuda yeah def at the v least ur fun to talk to and anybody i can b a bad influence on is aight by me u feel caepaecaesurae Aye, I hear you It'd be nice to lean back in that direction somenight.  I'vwe been sitting around drinking tea a wvhile. brackishbarracuda s easy to get restless i aint efin alternian and sometides i just need to move and tear into somefin before that somefin becomes me caepaecaesurae Aye. ...I sail a ship around sometimes.  Transport pads to get back to hivwe often. Plenty of wvild lands out there to explore. brackishbarracuda theres plenty a world here to sea if u ever decide u wanna we aint managed a drone yet be in a week oar so probably caepaecaesurae The mile-high deer?  Aye I'vwe a curiosity. I'm relievwed that you're considering the drone. brackishbarracuda im uh considerin more than the drone tbh caepaecaesurae Aye? brackishbarracuda been thinkin a puttin my crown on and meanin it caepaecaesurae Lacking in context, I'm imagining you calling yourself queen of a single hivwe surrounded by largish deer. brackishbarracuda i mean in all technicality i earned the fuckin thing i blew up my planet i killed the empress so by right etc etc blah blah blah i just been runnin from it since brackishbarracuda no u aint wrong i gotta start somwhere fuckin ridiculous as it is if they aint anybody else on the planet isle take it theres a small frozen planet my ex red left me so thats two off the bat ig caepaecaesurae If there's no one else it seems a bit... abrupt. Then again, givwen a single wvorking mothergrub, one is nevwer far from an empire. I suspect Arlequin wvould havwe mixed feelings. brackishbarracuda ive convinced my spade to let me sit w em and do some political diplomatic shit and i aint lookin to be a bloody conquerer im just lookin to stop runnin from what i was hatched for mayb do some decent shit w whatever authority i got somefin betta than home was anyway caepaecaesurae I wvish you luck wvith it if you do. brackishbarracuda thanks 38/ caepaecaesurae It's hard to get in trouble wvhen you're in charge. brackishbarracuda why u gotta do me like this caepaecaesurae WVell... Ask Tyfora howv much fun her powver is. brackishbarracuda id rather naut caepaecaesurae Ask Arlequin howv much he wvants to strivwe for a newv flag -- at least, this early. brackishbarracuda i oughta talk to him aboat it tho yeah caepaecaesurae Powver is complicated.  That's all. caepaecaesurae More so than you might be preparing yourself for. brackishbarracuda i aint trynna rush into anyfin aight an isle talk to arlequin i kno shit aint easy it aint somefin im thinkin aboat lightly caepaecaesurae Then I wvish you luck.  I'm cautious about swvearing loyalties lightly, but you'll likely havwe me on call if emergencies strike. brackishbarracuda i dont take that lightly either cae thank u i afishiate it caepaecaesurae WVe'll see wvhat comes.  I'm afraid it's late though.  Another night? brackishbarracuda a course thanks for talkin at me caepaecaesurae Looking forwvard to it.  Rest wvell wvhen you go. brackishbarracuda yeah sleep good

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 5X8 Changing Channels

oH FUCK YEAH it'S META TIME!!

I genuinely do think this is what helped popularize this shit oh HELL YEAH

it'S FUCKING G A B R I E L YA B O I

HE IS ALSO COMPLEX

JENSEN NARRATING BUT NOT WITH THE DEAN VOICE

CANNED LAUGHTER

THE COLOR BUT IT'S STILL THE OLD MOTEL LAYOUT

J U S T THE END OF THE WORLD

ALSO HIS HAIRCUT+color DOES NOT WORK IT'S GREAT

SON OF A BITCH AHAHA

HIS FUCKING VOICE CRACK

WHO WROTE THIS GODDAMN INTRO

tHIS INTRO IS SO FUNNY

also sidenote, it's so weird seeing them smile so much

DR SEXY

same pattern as the old time but you can SEE the color grading

huh like there's Something Wrong

and then business as usual

but like yeah they have to interview her

incredible hulk?

BANNER OR NORTON PFFT

Ah the TV version DEAN YOU NERD

a cartoon hole in the door the shape of the incredible hulk

oh it was HIM?

like he was a hothead, got killed by a hothead....

G A B RI E L

sam appealing to him is...interesting wait where is this going

facebook friends lmao Dean you Mom

he fucked with their radio didn't he

damn but he'S SMART

YOU'RE IN DOCTOR SEXY NOW LMAOOOO

THEY'RE SO FREAKED OUT

THEY'RE IN A MEDICAL TELENOVELA I'M CRYING

dammit I wish they let Dean grow his hair out the new lighting is making me sad

Dean's escapism is crashing down, it's great

Dean oh my GOD YOU FUCKING HYPERFIXATED NERD

DOCTOR SEXY

he does the...same lowered voice he does with Cas

ok listen there is a case to be made for hero worship, there IS but there's ALSO THE OTHER ONE

THE ABORTED HALF SMILE

the close ups work for him though?

oh the FREEZE! OH THAT'S NEAT!

HEY GABRIEL!

he morphs shorter lmaoooo

holy SHIT he's fun

the LIL GLITCH OUT OH MY GOD

THE EYEBROW WAG

GUYS HE HAS A POINT YALL WERE THE ONES THAT FUCKED UP

SAM IS SO TIRED OF THE MELODRAMA AHAHA

ah he gets killed again

dammit Gabe stop killing Dean

that's 100% not how surgery works

LMAO "figure it out"

what..the fuck did Sam do

THE FUCKING LADY

THAT WORKED??

and they switched to NUTCRACKER LMAOOO

THEY DON'T SPEAK JAPANESE

DEAN'S FACE!

SAM'S FACE

LMAOOOOO

commMERICALLL

CAS!

HE SOUNDS SO DISGRUNTLED!

NO IT WAS SO FUN TO SEE HIMMM

pretty boy angels?? WHAT?

whaT THE FUCK WAS THAT QUESTION

THE FUCKING JAPANESE?

oh my god the play along

that worked?

so they have to play along

boy they are both PANICKING

"I've got...genital herpes"

they're really going for the STD's with Sam for the last two episodes

thIS LOOKS LIKE IT'S PHYSICALLY PAINING HIM

I am CACKLING THIS IS

SO FUNNY

also...it's picking on Sam, maybe it's like...Gabe has a point to make with him?

also yeah he did kill Dean like a hundred times to make a point maybe he feels bad

"we might die in here" [canned laughter]

CAS!

no CAS!!

he looks genuinely shocked/scared oh my GOD!

the priorities tho!

Sam: u know him?

Dean: IS HE OK??

"play your roles out there" OHHH NEAT?

ah he just wants Chaos

he's not even happy? like "let's get it over with" is pretty neutral?

he's...not in league with anyone? he's kinda Weird about it?

ah so it's an actual ultimatum huh

they look good in this lighting at least?

"I am wearing sunglasses at night" LMAOOO

HE HATES PROCEDURAL COP SHOWSSS

THE STRUTTT

GRAVELLY VOICE

thE FUCKING POSES

THIS IS SO STUPID OH MY GOD

play along till stab stab?

ah they figured it was a fakeout

silent communication!

you can't telll if it's real or not..ever?

SAM'S IN A FUCKING RADIO

IT'S ANOTHER GENRE SHOWWWW

The vISUALS

HE'S THE CARRRR LMAO

ah he guesses, because of that field trip with cas

Car!Sam is so FUCKING FUNNY

GOTTEM! ANGEL!!!

Dean rly wanted to make that joke

"call it personal experience but no one gets that angry unless they're talking about their own family" O h M y gOD

oh shit I forgot technically we didn't know his name till now

hE JOINED THE PAGANS OH MY GOD

"watching them tear at each other" even though you love everyone involved...jesus

ah it's happening again

"I just want it to be over" :(

"It's about two brothers that loved each other and betrayed each other" uh OUCH

"you were born to this" oh JEEZ

ah yes the one kills the other

you have to at least admire their tenacity

"I wish this were a TV show, easy answers" oW

especially with Dean

"and it's gonna end bloody for all of us"

"hey, bro" aw

the bloody trench-coat oof

"you being too afraid to stand up to your family" oh my GOD and of COURSE Dean says it because he was oh my GOD

cas and gabe cas and gabe CAS AND GABe

"I think he believes it" oof

he lured them in didn't he? on purpose

1. escapism! Dean, Sam, and especially Gabriel. Like Gabriel is a very Evasive person(I feel like so is Sam) when confronted with problems, and he knows Dean at least uses TV to cope. It was a way to run away and try to get the others to understand him, I think. That whole "TV is escapism, this is the real world" and that Dean is the one that really likes it...ouch. Gabe and Sam would be cool to flesh out please Please

2. Cas and Gabe. No I have very little here, but I really like the little bits of their like "oh my god it's you fuck you" thing they have going, please give me more, it was so good. Like you get invested when they know each other and it's just...good. So good.

3. actually family in general. Like Gabriel is too scared to intervene, but doesn't want something to happen, Cas and Dean bonded over the fact that their dads are absent, Sam gets thrust into something when all he wants to do is figure out who he is outside of the context of his family. It was... a lot, and...actually compelling.

4. fucking THIS WAS FUN TOO! like fucking with color grading, actual gags, riffs on tv formulas. It felt so much like a precursor to WandaVision(the freezes, the glitches out, some amount of genre savviness, the "play along especially"(that whole thing about being trapped with a sitcom is so Important here), just...the concept and the baby TV show thing is...so fun.

5. but it's plot? I THOUGHT CHANGING CHANNELS WAS ALL FUN BUT THERE WAS PLOT! like we got Gabe's actual motivations, we got an actual reasoning, we got exposition but it was interesting cuz we were already invested in gabe's moral compass

holy shit that was good.