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teddybeartoji · 6 months

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⺡THE LITTLE LAMB AND THE BIG BAD WOLF

on a hunt for supplies, you stumble across someone's belongings. a little bit of theft is fine, right? the cold barrel of a gun at your temple says otherwise.

☆. contains: toji fushiguro x gn!reader; apocalypse au; horror, detailed descriptions of blood and death, slow burn, crack, reader is simultaneously a scaredy-cat and a baddie, toji looks scary oh nooo

☆. word count: 6k

☆. note: the world is based on tlou!!! i am soooo into this fucking concept like i'm officially sucking my own dick here. tagging my beloveds @staryukis & @awearywritersworld bc omfg apocalypse ideas!!!!!! and also @dollsuguru @venusiansilk @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat @mossmurdock i love you guys so so much thank you for all your support<3333333

+ here's the masterlist

in a world so fucked up – it's easy to get lost in the darkness.

when the infection took over, everything changed. everything. people aren't people anymore – they've become hosts for a type of fungus known as the cordyceps. it grows all over the brain and takes control of the body, turning the person into something they're not.

if anyone were to ask you how many have you killed, infected or not, you'd be devoid of an answer.

it's hard to find your way when just about everything is out to get you. infected or not – there's always something ready to tear you into pieces, to sink their teeth into your soft flesh – that's just the way things are now.

but you're used to it. used to the feeling of adrenaline pumping in your veins as you run from a horde, used to the feeling of a blade at your throat, used to the feeling of a punch, of a slap. used to the constant grumble in your stomach, used to the sore legs and shoulders, used to cleaning off blood from yourself and your clothes, from your weapons. you're used to the gurgling and clicking, the crying and sobbing, the begging and pleading.

but no matter how much you tell yourself that you've grown used to the horrors of the new world, you cannot escape the anxiety that hides under every inch of your skin. it's always with you – holding your clammy hand as it drags you into the depths, into the shadows. you try to fight it but it's hard.

it's hard forcing away the only thing that holds you so tight, the only thing that truly cares for you. it's is a suffocating blanket that hides you from the cruelty of the world, trying its best to shelter you from it all. it's better to stay inside. it's better to stay away. they're going to hurt you. something is here. just stay here with me, under the warm blanket. they're coming. it's going to hurt. let's stay here forever.

don't you want it to stop?

being torn apart by the cold crippling fear and the warm rotting hands – it's getting harder and harder to breathe. but you've learned how to keep them at bay over the years; always in the line of sight, always on your mind. there's no rest for the wicked.

moonlight leads the way as you make your way to a shopping mall. the wind howls in your ears and sends a shiver down your spine. moss and ivy cover the walls of the massive building, swallowing it bit by bit, making it a part of the nature as the time passes.

the axe in your hand feels heavy, but right nonetheless. the handle is stained with blood; it has seeped deep into the wood and now acts as an extra weight to the blade. a small 9mm handgun sits pretty in the holster around your thigh, a knife hides in its leather sheath on your belt, a bow rests on your shoulder and a few arrows peek from your bag.

despite the armory, your bag hasn't been this empty in a while. the blame falls on a group of men you ran into a week or so back. precious ammo and resources were spent on the bastards, and while the blood reward was good - the lack of food and meds is now becoming concerning. your shoulder still hurts from the fall, a big dark bruise transforming your skin into a painting of the midnight sky.

you shake the flashlight on the strap of your backpack and listen to the batteries bounce around inside it. you give it a stronger shake and it turns on. the broken glass shines as you carefully step inside the big atrium and take a look around. your little light forces back the creeping shadows, now showcasing you the infected bodies that lay dead on the ground before you.

pools of blood conflux together and paint the tiles a dark shade of maroon; the ichor flows in between the cracks and disappears under the soles of your boots when you step further inside. they're fresh. light reflects off the liquid as you squat down to take a closer look. none of the three bodies seem to have bullet wounds – one of the runner has a slit throat while the other leaks from a hole in the side of the head and the clicker... it's head has been completely bashed in, making it hard to even recognize it as one.

beating up a clicker is not easy by any means; though the fungus growing on their face and head blinds them, it also acts almost like armor. they can take a bullet to the head and still keep coming – the call of death rippling through their body as they run at you, hands reaching out to grab, to pull, to hold.

the fact that they did this, either with their bare hands or some other blunt object, just means that they're good. it also begs the question whether they didn't have the bullets to spare or they simply decided not to use them. you just hope you won't bump into them.

standing up, you take another look around. a trail of bloody footsteps leads right up the escalators and you decide that you won't be going there yet. there are a few more bodies, two runners, sitting limp against the crumbling walls as you step down one of the hallways. the broken tiles and the glass cracks below your feet and you cringe at the noise.

never letting go of the axe in your hand, you stroll past the first stores seeing as they're completely ran through. with a sigh, you make your way over to one of the clothing stores. it's almost pitch black in there and you almost jump out of your skin when a mannequin suddenly falls at your feet. muttering out a row of whispered curses, you lower your axe with a shaky breath and adjust your flashlight. the shelves are pretty empty but that was expected; still, when you open up a cupboard door under one of the mannequin stands, you find a stack of perfectly fine sweatshirts. you check the other side of the piece of furniture and find... nothing. scoffing to yourself, you just bag the a sweatshirt and a pair of pants from another shelf before moving to the next store.

glass breaks and you hear shuffling – head whipping towards the sounds, fingers tightly gripping the axe, you take a step back and bump right into the shelf behind you. pieces of clothing fall onto the floor and a cloud of dust rises from the impact; you pay it no mind as your eyes are still glued to the counter, to where the noise came from, but when after a few second absolutely nothing jumps at you, you let your shoulders relax a little.

a stalker, maybe? but they don't tend to live in open spaces like malls, or so you think at least. the majority of them you've ran into in places like office floors and a fucked up basements – meaning they like to lurk everywhere where it's extra dark and where there are places to hide behind. yeah, they do that. little shits, taking cover behind desks and walls, playing a game of hide and seek that you never agreed to. you're never forgiving yourself for taking that wretched route.

you peek over the counter and look all around it but find jack shit. it's the darkness – it's what it does to you, to everybody. the shadows start to speak and move, the floors creak and crumble, and the growths on the wall whisper your name, no matter, how much you tell yourself that they aren't actually doing any of that that.

it's just the old building crying out from loneliness, the haunted ghosts simply looking for company as people pass by, as the infected pass by. you have to keep your head straight. faint blood marks stain the floor but it's too hard to tell whether those've been there for years or less.

you hastily knock on your flashlight when it begins to flicker, leaving you in the dark for just a blink but it's enough to have your heart thumping loudly in your ribcage.

making your way out of the store, you scour for your next location and ah-ha!

a pharmacy.

two bottles of antibiotics rattle in your bag but those aren't enough. you'll always need more of those, you'll always need more of gauze, painkillers, of everything – going in there is a must.

a metal roll-up door closed mid way is going to make this harder, but as if that isn't ominous enough – the quiet cries coming from behind it only makes the situation worse. a runner. but luckily, it isn't making too much noise and you make an educated guess of it not moving around. they do that when there's nothing to catch and tear apart, when nothing has caught their attention. they stay in random spots and whimper and cry to themselves. it makes them an easy prey.

the thought of the metal door sliding shut just as you're trying to pass under it, is making your stomach churn. and so is the thought of you making too much noise by accident and attracting the runner when you're still down on the ground. stop being a pussy. there could be emergency kits in there, pills, there could be a feast of medications in there and you're holding back. it's unacceptable.

you slowly kneel down to the cold floor and inhale sharply before lowering yourself further down. the only light in the room is yours and it immediately finds the twitching runner.

it is cowering in the corner.

you're just fucking glad they don't react to light as much as they do to noise, otherwise you'd be fucked already.

you crawl in the dust as quietly as you can, careful to not touch any of the furniture beside you that seems to be holding up the door. the last thing you'd want is to get locked in here. or get cut in half. you clench your teeth and push yourself up and to your knees the second you can do so and take a second, as you wait for him to turn around and lunge at you. but he doesn't. his back is still turned to you as he waits for you, sobs for you; his body trembling, hands folded in front of his chest – almost like he's hugging himself.

quietly holstering the axe, you pull out your knife instead. it's quieter. you grip the handle, fingers molding into the dents that have formed over time. another step and the light goes out. it's complete darkness. you hear your own heartbeat in your ears and the miserable cries of the infected just a few feet away. your eyes widen as you try to focus on your surroundings. your hands grow clammy in a matter of a few seconds and panic seeps into your body.

you shake the flashlight a few times and it turns back on. your breath is still stuck in your throat as you try to compose yourself. stupid old thing. the light paints the runner's shadow onto the wall in front of him, making it look like he's a part of some shadow play.

one more step and you're with him, a breath away. your hand goes around his chest, holding his hands and body in place as you sink your blade into his neck. it sinks into skin and flesh like butter, soaking you in the dark red ichor that hides underneath as he gurgles something at you (a thank you perhaps).

yanking the knife back out, the splattering ichor coats your skin and you immediately wipe it off against your shirt. his body falls with a thud! and another big dust cloud rises from the contact and your nose itches— it's— it itches— achoo!

your eyes are an inch away from escaping your head as you spin around, making sure that nothing is jumping at you for making a noise that loud. but surely enough, nothing seems to be interested. exhaling deeply, you rub your nose and force down the embarrassment that's crawling on your skin before starting your hunt for supplies.

it doesn't go as well as you'd hoped – only bagging a few stitching kits and a bottle of painkillers. better than nothing.

ecstatic to get the fuck out of a closed, pitch black room, you crawl back out from under the metal door and dust off your clothes.

strolling through some more stores, you're met with more dead infected. two clickers and two runners, no bullet holes. ignoring the corpses, you manage to find yourself a few nice t-shirts, a pack of boxers and a box of 9mm handgun ammo from under the cash register.

when you've gone through most of the wrecked stores on the first floor, you finally decide to take a look upstairs. the bloody footprints haven't left your mind but the fact that it's been so quiet, makes you think that maybe they did really just pass through here.

the moon light your way as you drag yourself up the escalator. the stars in the sky are barely visible because of the dirt on the ceiling window and you frown.

in front of you there are two hallways with stores on the sides and in the middle. the prints lead to the left side and towards the a lonely door at the end of the coridor; the signs on the walls don't indicate what room it might be – a security one, maybe? shaking your head, you focus on the stores ahead of you. the shop in the center is a big sports one; most of the mannequins have fallen over and their limbs are scattered all over the floor, pairless sneakers rest on top of each other and the shelves are a push away from collapsing into tiny little pieces.

stepping over the bloody clothes, you view the baseball caps on the rack when your light goes out again. you feed on the faint moonlight that's coming from the hallways as you scramble to shake the thing again. steps, you swear you heard steps. the last standing mannequins stare at you from the shadows, laughing at your misfortune. a hand touches your hip and you can't hold back the yelp that slips from your lips. you turn and bump into another statue. the light flickers three times before it actually turns on and you find yourself inches from an eerie smile. intinctively, you give it a firm push as you take a step back, hands shaking as the panic settles down once more.

no one else is here. you can't see whoever could've made the noise and by now you're sure that if something or someone is really hiding in the dark – it would've already made a move if it wanted to. stalkers don't play for that long and neither do humans.

a row of protein bars hide in a drawer in the staff room of the store and you happily throw them in your bag, along with some weird looking granola bars.

the right side of the second floor only offers you a new lighter, three pairs of socks, a can of soda, a simple necklace and a broken watch. what's the point of it if you can't tell time? it looks cool. no other reason.

heading over to the left side of the building, you keep a keen eye on the door. the remaining shops are forgotten the closer you get to where the prints lead and you officially commit to checking out the place.

the blade of your axe shines in the moonlight, your steps extra light as you creep up on the door. readying your weapon, you press down on the handle and quietly push it open. it swings all the way and thumps against the wall. the room is lit up, the windows letting in the natural light. you're greeted with rows of computer and tv screens on the tables, three black duffel bags and some lockers and cabinets next to the walls.

you check the corners of the room and let out a relieved sigh when you don't find anything hiding. closing the door, you carefully step around the broken glass on the floor. it seems to be originating from what used to be a glass case showcasing various medals. awards for the best security guards. how silly that sounds now.

the lockers have been cleared out, the only things left behind being two lovely couple's phots with hand-drawn hearts above their heads. you leave them there. the cabinets don't have anything good either. you glance back at the door for good measure before kneeling down in front of one of the bags on the ground. you pull the zipper and are met with treasure – multiple bars of chocolate, the same sweatshirt you found from the floor below, various cans of canned food, two water bottles and a small knife.

your eyes glint and the corners of your lips twitch upward, your body has a mind of its own as it immediately reaches for the chocolate. glass breaks and your eyes flick to the now ajar door as you reach for the gun on your thigh but when you feel the cold metal of a gun barrel resting against your temple... you freeze.

"don't."

...

your stomach drops, eyes glued to the bag in front of you. the voice is deep and it's rasp, confident and sure of himself; the metal against you doesn't move, it doesn't shake.

you hold your trembling hands out, fingers spread to show that you don't have any intention of grabbing your weapons. a deep breath in and a deep one out. you try to turn your head towards him but he just presses the gun deeper into your skin, forcing your gaze right back down.

his big stature looms over your smaller one and you feel like an ant that's about to be stepped on. he lets you soak in the threatening silence, the only sound being your own racing heartbeat.

"s'rude to steal, y'know."

the man doesn't sound angry, he doesn't sound mad or upset. he sounds... annoyed, if anything.

"i asked you a question."

shit.

"i– i wasn't stealing." you stammer out.

he scoffs. "wasn't stealing? just fondling my shit for fun then?"

the teasing tone makes your eyebrows furrow and you try to turn to look at him again, your body slightly raising from your knees but the gun on your head keeps you down. funny, how heavy a piece of metal can suddenly feel.

"it was empty in here! i didn't know these belonged to anyone! i–i'm sorry! i'll leave, i'll leave!" it's a pathetic slur of words accompanied by a pleading tone and you hope that it'll do the trick.

there are strategies for dealing with people and this is simply one of them.

and it does work because the next thing you know, he's lowering the weapon. you let out a shaky breath before turning to him and fuck.

he's... terrifying.

towering over your kneeling body, he's massive. big chest and broad shoulders, he looks like he could snap your neck with his bare hands. the moonlight is only making him more menacing – his dark hair falls in front of his eyes as he stares down at you; there's a scar on his lips and streaks of blood cover his skin, from his cheek to his jaw and down his neck.

dark clothes and a dark jacket – he looks like he belongs in the shadows. the fact that you didn't hear him until it was already too late is making your skin crawl. he probably only let you hear him. for the fun of it.

the terrified look on other's faces can be addicting. the big eyes and the wobbling lips; how they shake and beg – you're no stranger to it, you've had your moments, too.

other than the gun in his hand, there's a second one holstered around his big thigh just like you do. a serrated knife sits his belt and it keeps winking at you, the flashlight reflecting from it as you pull in big breaths of air.

"you're saying i oughta just let you go?" he scoffs, yanking you from your thoughts.

"please..." your stomach grumbles on cue, helping you look meeker than you really are.

you're sure you just saw him wince as he squats down beside you but the thought is brushed away immediately when the man cocks his head to the side and scratches his temple with the barrel of the gun. his scarred lips stretch into a big wolfish grin, showing off his sharp canines and his eyes glint from behind the black strands of hair, making him even scarier now. the big bad wolf.

he's taking you apart with his eyes, dissecting you and your thoughts with a smug expression while you're fending off the waves of fear and try to look as composed as you can. though you feel like it isn't working at all.

"d'ya find anything good from the pharmacy?"

"why were you stalking me?" your bark comes out sharper than you intended and his eyebrows raise an inch, eyes shining with something teasing.

"kind of hard to miss ya when you're making so much noise, sweetheart. and yer in my spot, anyway." he sigh with an eye-roll.

your lips part in a small gasp. "i was not making that much noise! and– and what do you mean 'your spot'? it's a fucking mall, i need things, too!"

"clearly." he motions to the duffel bag resting at your feet and you swallow your next snarky comment.

"sorry."

"what was that?"

just glaring at him, you hate how amused he seems. the fear in you dissipating fast and something akin to annoyance is starting to grow in it's stead.

"i didn't even fucking take anything!"

body leaning forward, fists balled up and eyes on fire – he's thoroughly entertained by your barking and you immediately purse your lips.

"relax, little lamb, will ya? tell me... what'd you find in there?"

you scrunch your nose at the stupid nickname. despite how non-threatening he's being right now - you're still planning on running. you'll give him whatever he wants and you're getting the fuck out of here.

"nothing much. stitching kits and painkillers."

he's hums disappointedly and you can't help but wonder why. is he looking for something in particular? is he hurt? "what do you need?"

"forget it."

"i have antibiotics, if that's what you need."

at that, his ears perk up. "is that so?"

you nod at him.

"well, c'mon then, show me what ya got."

you stare at him for a moment before peeling off one backpack strap. you pull the bag onto your lap and feel his heavy gaze on you as you dig around the thing. it doesn't take you long to find the right bottle, pulling it out and handing it to him.

the floor creaks and it has you both turning towards the sound in an instant. he has the door in his sights but nothing is there. your heart is hammering in your chest again and you can taste the bitter anxiety in the back of your throat again.

you've never seen anyone hold their gun so steady as he does. no shake, no tremble; he's not even really squeezing the thing, he's just holding it. there's no pressure, no anxiety – it's simply an extension to his body. he's comfortable with it, and he looks good with it. a bead of sweat rolls from his temple and mixes with the drying blood on his skin before disappearing under his clothes.

his breathing is normal, he's calm as he lowers the gun back down and starts observing the bottle in his other hand. your eyes are still on the door, still wary of the ghosts that lurk around.

the man squints his eyes at the miniature text on the bottle in the dark and you hold back a laugh.

"need me to read it for you, old man?"

"watch your mouth." it's playful at best, no real sternness behind it whatsoever and it makes you roll your eyes. you're about to ask what he actually needs the pills for but something in the corner of your eye draws your attention.

a pair of dull, grey eyes. staring right back at you. dark veins run all over her face and neck, her shoulders and her hands and she peeks from behind the doorframe.

one second. no more, no less. your sharp intake of air gets his attention just as the stalker lunges from the dark hallway, but she is met with a hole in her forehead before she can even take a proper step inside.

small pieces of brain splatter onto the wall behind her and she falls limp to the ground just a few feet from you. he's waiting for another one to pop up, his eyes still glued to the door and you know that this is your moment. he has the meds, so he shouldn't chase you down anyway. you have to go now.

scrambling up from your knees, you try to speed past him but immediately choke when the collar of your own sweatshirt sharply cuts into your airways. his grip on the material is strong and he pulls you right back into him, back into his arms. he's mere inches from your face but before he can do anything else – he feels a blade against his throat.

you really aren't the little lamb he thought you were.

he's comparing you to a feral cub in his head – big wild eyes, snarling and showing your teeth, trying to act tougher than you are, but when the sharp edge of your blade sinks deeper into his skin, he realizes that maybe you're not actually in over your head.

he already expected you to run, he was waiting for that but he thought it'd end up with you you crying and begging or something. he didn't see this coming – you're definitely craftier than he thought, faster too.

"now... why would you do that-"

you don't let him finish. "are you gonna hurt me?"

"you're the one with the knife at my throat. i should be asking you that." he rolls his eyes as your knife grazes the soft skin below his adam's apple and you're thinking about actually cutting him just out of annoyance.

"you have the pills, why not let me go?" you bark back.

"you're hungry, aren't ya?" he questions calmly. his gun hand is lowered, he's not pointing it at you but his other hand stays on your back, fingers still digging into your sweatshirt. it's warm, his body is warm.

"so what? you gonna feed me like some stray cat?"

"y'don't want to eat?" he deadpans.

...

you bite into the soft flesh of your inner cheek. of fucking course, you want to eat.

"y'can take two cans from the bag. i mean, y'were eyeing them anyway."

"why?"

"for being my entertainment tonight."

the blade on his throat finally draws blood and a drop of it runs down his skin, disappearing under his shirt.

"i oughta kill you for putting a gun at my head."

"yeah?" he cocks his head closer to you, the blade moving with him, making a few more droplets dribble from the tiny wound. "go for it, sweetheart."

his eyes are green. they're green like the leaves that sprout from between the cracks in the asphalt on a sunny day, green like the moss that flourishes on the trees in the forest, green like the ivy that is trying to swallow the world. you feel his heart beat a; calm and steady while yours is amped from the sudden proximity. he sounds so arrogant, like he knows you're not going to hurt him.

(you aren't.)

when you lower the knife to push at his broad chest with a scoff instead, he lets you. his hand falls from you as you take a step back, your face now illuminated by the moonlight. scars litter your skin, bumps and cuts – just like him.

"are you done?"

you hum with a pouty lip and put away your knife, eyes following his figure as he holsters his gun before picking up the fallen pill bottle. when he steps by you, he plucks your flashlight from its place on the backpack strap with way too much ease and proceeds to head over to one of the duffel bags that sits on the table behind you, carefully stepping over the broken glass on the floor.

"hey!"

he shushes you and your fists tighten beside your body. you look at the dead body that lays next to the door with a perfectly centered hole in her forehead. the blood pools around it, soaking her clothes and the ground below her.

you used to think about the infected more, used to ponder about how long they've been like that and whether the person they used to be is still... in there.

it doesn't matter.

you've come across people, who talk about not wanting to kill them – what if they really are still in there? but isn't that exactly why one should kill them? you can't even begin to think about how it'd feel to be stuck inside your own body as the infection takes over, making you into something you're not. how it'd force you to tear your loved ones apart just for the sake of it, how you'd turn into a bigger monster with every passing day, every passing second. you just hope that if you were to get infected, you'd still have the mind to end it. or have somebody do it for you.

you don't want to end up like her.

"i didn't realize there were stalkers here." you mumble to yourself as you tear your eyes from her. "other than you, of course. fucking creep."

he starts digging around in one of the bags and you take the moment to really observe him. his back is almost twice your size and you're sure his one bicep is bigger than your whole head.

the man scoffs. "thought i got them all but... oh, well. should've let ya handle it – was your fault anyway."

"how the fuck was that my fault?" your voice raises at his claim and you regret it, knowing exactly what his response will be.

"you are fucking loud, sweetheart."

"fuck you."

he just hums out a mhmmm. he pulls a piece of paper out of his bag and uses your flashlight to examine the text on it. his eyes. he waves at you over his shoulder. "you know where the cans are."

simply scoffing as a reply, you kneel back down to the bag but his voice cuts in again.

"and don't you dare take that chocolate." he doesn't even turn around, completely focused on comparing the information on the paper to the info on the bottle of pills. you roll your eyes again and curse him under your breath. "i wasn't gonna take your stupid fucking chocolate..."

when you've bagged your goodies, you push yourself up again. the trees dancing in the wind outside catch your eye, they look so carefree. just living from the sun and the moon and the rain, they have nothing to fear. nobody will harm them, no infected, no people. you can't wait for nature to take back everything it deserves. the cities and the buildings; it'll swallow the corpses and the living alike and you're happy for her.

he rustles with the paper, twisting it around a few times and you're about to ask what he's looking for but he cuts you off.

"why not make a run for it earlier?"

you stare at his back with a confused look. "what do you mean?"

"you gave me the pills and then tried to run. antibiotics are hard to find, y'know." he sounds curious. or patronizing.

"i know that... i had to wait for the right moment." you admit, fiddling with your fingers. "i was going to give them to you anyway, old man."

"not a lot going on in that little head of yours, huh?"

...

you let his audacity waft over you before biting back. "oh, i'm sorry... for... being a... good person?"

he turns around and leans his ass against the table, folding his arms over his big chest as he mocks you with his annoying smug grin. "i pointed a gun at you and you still wanna share your little precious belongs with me? that's cute, i guess."

"yeah. you just look like you fucking need them, alright...."

"so, you agree that you're a fucking idiot?"

your lips part in shock. "hey! look– do you want anything else or can i go now?"

"can i have my flashlight back?"

"no."

"wha— " you take a step toward the man and he raises his brows. "but it's mine! how do you expect me to go outside without it?"

"no manners whatsoever."

huh?

your jaw drops again. "excuse me? wha– what's that supposed to mean?"

"first, i catch you stealing— "

"i already apologized for that— "

"—then you try to kill poor old little me, and now you're asking for things without the magic word... tsk-tsk-tsk." he closes his eyes and shakes his head in disappointment.

"i'm not gonna fucking beg for my own flashlight back, bitch."

...

he barks out a laugh.

a loud one, from deep within his stomach. his head falls back and a pout forms on your lips, heat crawls up your neck involuntarily and you avert your gaze. "you're terrible, just terrible, sweetheart."

he takes your prized light and tosses it to you before pulling out his own from behind his back. you flip him off. "funny though, i'll give ya that..."

you grumble a yeah, thanks under your breath as he blinks the light at you twice. "may i go now?"

he stares at you before answering. "yes, you're dismissed."

at that, you knock your heels together and sharply bring your right hand to your temple – imitating a military salutation. "yes, sir!"

something sweet.

he tastes something sweet on his tongue. he wipes the drying blood from his neck and his cheeks hurt.

you're some random feral cub and yet, you've peaked his interest like nothing else. no cries and no wails, no begging and no tears – scared but alive. ready to part with valuable meds just because he apparently looks like he needs them. tch! growling at him even though he's caught you red handed, cutting him even though you weren't in danger anymore.

he hasn't felt this alive in a long time, either.

"don't let me see you again, old man."

playful, at best. you're matching his tone and the corners of his lips are reaching back behind his ears. you bite your inner cheek; despite everything – he's the most normal person you've met since the end of the world. he's not mean nor is he aggressive; everybody points a gun at a stranger these days. he made jokes and he gave you supplies – it's more than anyone has done for you in a while.

you look at the wolf in the shadow and he looks at the lamb in the moonlight. the wolf that offers food and protection and the lamb that cuts and steals.

the wolf that bleeds and the lamb that holds the blade.

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crimeronan · 2 years

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i am so brave and also so keyed up on adrenaline it's fucking unreal. made scary bank phone call (it was literally fine), person on phone threw me off my script so bad my voice cracked (again: literally fine), our fridge fucked up so i had to run out for emergency ice, the first two stores i checked were completely sold out bc it's hot, scheduled an oil change bc my car went "i am going to die within two weeks if u keep putting me thru this," got the ice, put it in fridge, contacted property management, did all the troubleshooting things they asked us to for our electrical circuits, emailed the office back to say it didnt work, got in contact with electrician, (missed the og text from the electrician and replied 45 minutes late like a beacon of sin,) now i'm lying in bed waiting for said electrician to arrive with my heart beating so fast i can hear it in my ears. and i still have four other errands to run this afternoon. plus cleaning i want to do tonight altho that might be off the table. my ability to talk to strangers is generally okay but my ability to talk to like seven different strangers rapidfire while running around in mundane-yet-high-pressure situations...... i am. ill equipped

#it took forever to type that bc my hands are shaking so bad i keep typoing #LITERALLY HAVENT EVEN DONE ANYTHING EXCEPT HAD SEVERAL UNSCRIPTED INTERACTIONS IN QUICK SUCCESSION #the errands are predictable at least. if i can climb off the ceiling after the electrician leaves #rn im coloring and figuring out what food to make bc i am probably partially jittery from hunger #anyway. tell me how brave i am i just lived a nightmare

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unluckilyimnot · 2 years

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Helloo!! Could you possibly write a part 2 to your rindou angst marriage fanfic u wrote? You could write about slowburn,angst,fluff,however you want to continue with it! I just wanna hear more of your thoughts abt it cuz it's been my fave fic these days and i keep reading it every time i need some inspiration 👉👈

Hiiii I can absolutely do that (even if i took forever to do so) I'm really happy to see that you thought that much about it and hope it's not to late haha Thank you sm !

type: slow burn (ig), fluff

Words count: 4.7k || Pt.1 || Pt.3

note: I can’t count the number of mental breakdown I got bc of this. I never ever wrote slow burn and then suddenly I’m doing one with an awful base, great idea Mia. Anyway, here’s my first slow burn (if it can be considered as one), hope it’s not too bad for the time it took.

I would really appreciate feedback back for this one so feel free to comment or send a message, thank you !

Rindou was thinking a lot since the last time you two argued. It wasn't the first time for you to take care of him like this, but neither of you ever speak your heart like this and he has to admit that his mind didn't want to let it go. The way your hand was so gentle towards him, patting his cheek as if he was still a kid. It's been a long time since you did that and, this time, he could remember your touch on his skin without hating it. It's been what, one or two weeks now ? He couldn't understand why he wasn't getting over it yet. It was poisoning his brain. Overthinking the whole situation like he never did before. Was it because he was too angry to face it before ? Or just to try to know you ? This was messing with his mind and he doesn't like it at all. It never was important, you never were, so why now he was thinking about how dirty he did you ? That was pure nonsense. Just like you.

"Rindou are you listening?" Ran's voice rises and Rindou lifts his head. "Yes, I am," answers Rindou but his lost eyes show that, in fact, he wasn't at all. Shaking this whole situation out of his mind for the next few hours. He was worried that this would take too much space when he had to work but at the same time, he couldn't find a way to resolve it. So he'll ignore it til the end of the day or Ran would kill him if he has to call him out one more time.

Ran obviously noticed how his brother's behavior changed since that night but he just couldn't figure out what happened since Rindou doesn't talk to him about it. Which he finds weird in the first place because they usually talk about everything together. He was curious to know what was happening to his brother. As the two of them go on their meeting, someone suddenly comes inside after a firm knock. The two Haitani were sending daggers to them for this audacity but cut it out when they saw a pretty woman enter the room.

Leaving for work this afternoon, you noticed a pile of files on the kitchen's table as you passed by to take something to eat on the way. Seeing your last name on it, you assumed that it was Rindou’s files and that he forgot it this morning. You knew you didn’t have the right to take a look at all, it was confident stuff most of the time, so you simply grabbed it and decided to pass by the Bonten’s building before going to your own after putting some sweets in your bag. Driving to the place, it almost seems like a normal company you said to yourself as you stop in front of it. It must be insane for someone outside of this world you guess. But yes, for people like you, it has always been normal to carry top secret papers and a gun in your bag while playing innocent. Entering the building as if it was yours, you were surprised to see two guys coming to you and asking for your matter. You don't come around a lot but still, you weren't anybody either. But you can't know everyone, right ? So you let it go and smiled at them.

"I'm bringing papers to my husband, he forgot those this morning," you said with a little smile, trying to be nice as you showed them in your hands.

"I've never seen you around with anyone though..." Imply one of the men, making you quirk. Not coming around everyday doesn't mean that you're lying. You don't have to do so just because of your previous last name in fact. You never needed to be a Haitani to be respected. You sigh as they didn't let you pass even after reading the name on the files.

"Don't make me call him, he won't answer anyway," you explain. Rolling your eyes, you push them aside softly to go on anyway. One of them roughly catches your arm and tries to get you out. A fragile sigh leaves your lips, your cool was more than down and you didn't have the time for this bullshit. Being late is one of the things you hated the most in life and being taken for an idiot too. The thought of killing him right away crossed your mind and the gaze you sent to this poor man made shivers go down his spine in terror when he catches your eyes. "Don't touch me," you instructed, not feeling like playing the sweet wife anymore.

"Oh Miss Haitani, it's been a while since the last time you came," says a young lady passing by with a smile. Her voice calms you down immediately and the man lets you go for the sake of his dear life. She was new the last time you came and you guided her through the building because she couldn't find an office. She was such a kind memory to this place you don’t necessarily appreciate that she calms your nerves. At her words, the two men finally let you live and you go on to the elevator to find Rindou.

Clenching your jaw as the door closes, thinking that a simple lady working here has more value than your words drives you mad. You'll talk to him about it, if you can ever see him. Leaning on the wall as you were alone in the cage, you thought that maybe you wouldn't even have to see him today. Your strict expression falls for a second, replaced with a morose one. You hoped you could, you didn't see each other often after all, but you're always happy to speak with him. Even if it's fighting or just a hello, it warms up your heart. He was right, you're stupid to love him, but hope make you live right ? So you'll continue till it kills you. The doors open in front of you, taking you out of your thoughts before you straighten up when people come in. Going down to the right floor, you walked to the room Rindou is usually in with his brother. As you were about to knock when someone stopped you again and this time you didn't take any of it. You knock and open anyway, a blank expression to contain your anger.

Rindou was surprised. He never expected you there and almost never saw you when you were ready to work. You stand out immediately from anyone in this room, black and red outfits flattering your skin. For the first time in his life, he finds you pretty. Your prideful gait and straight face flutter him a bit as you lay his papers on the desk.

"You forgot this," you simply said as you looked him in the eyes, not waiting for anything but a kind of fondness in it. He answered a little thank you, not shutting your gaze and he had to blink a few times before he could. Leaning his gaze on the other men around the table, their looks on you slightly irritate him. Do men usually look at you that way ? He never expected it. Maybe because he never saw you like a woman but mainly like a kid stealing his freedom. You were in fact a beautiful woman, he had to admit it. You nod and turn around to leave and go take care of your own business. Everyone followed you as you stepped back out of the room. Looking at him one last time, you showed the man next to the door.

"And tell your men about me please, the next one who touches me is dead," you add firmly before definitely passing the door without a goodbye. You weren't a kid anymore and Rindou started to realize it only now. Ran looked at his brother's stun reaction as you left, thinking about what must have happened for him to react like this. Looking through the papers, Rindou realized he actually needed it later on for this meeting and should have been more thankful. But that can’t stay on his mind for too long, immediately coming back to work because it needs to be done and resolved by the end of the day or Kokonoi would kill them. He was thankful, but you still weren't that important. A message would be fine.

By the end of the day, as you were still at work, your phone lights up, showing his name on the screen. You opened it, surprised to receive a text from him because it rarely happened during your three years relationship. It was a simple thank you, nothing less or more, but it made you blush like a high-school girl. Making you think that it was really helpful and worth it to stop by before coming here and proceed to go back to work so you could come home soon.

“Say Rindou,” Sanzu doesn’t even have finished his sentence that Rindou wanted to quit it. He doesn’t feel like talking or arguing with him today. His nerves were nothing to play with right now, tiredness showing in his eyes. Last night’s mission was longer than expected and he just wanted to cool down with someone to fill his mind. Forget everything for a while. Glaring at the pink-haired boy, Rindou really wished this would be enough for him to shut up but the only answer he got was a mischievous smile.

“I saw your girl the other day,” the world he used made Rindou hiss. You’re not his girl, you’ve never been and would never be. He despises the fact that Sanzu keeps on calling you like this.

“She’s freaking hot, I don’t understand why you bother to find some girls here and there when you have this at home,” joked the guy while resting on the back of his seat with a smirk.

“Shut up,” spited Rindou, shutting Sanzu’s month only for him to smile, amused.

“If you really don’t want it, at least share-”

“Enough !” screamed Rindou, “stop being fucking horny for a minute and leave her alone.” His strict tone surprised everyone, he never acted like this, maybe because they usually don’t bring you on. It’s been a while since anyone jokes about it, and it was better that way. Knowing that people think of you that way made him angry in a way, he doesn't like the idea. In his mind, you’re still so young so he doesn't understand how anyone could want you or find you attractive. Even if he faced it the other day, his mind still doesn’t want to see you as a grown up woman. But it’s the case, and maybe you’ll change your mind one day because you will understand that him, and this marriage, aren’t worthy to you. He will come back home and you won’t be there - or there will be someone else here with you. Rindou never dared think about it but, this too, makes him kinda angry. He’s just used to you being at his place when he leaves or comes back.

Thinking about it only now, Rindou wonders why he never got to see you in that kind of outfit before. Of course, he leaves before you most of the time and also comes home late, if he ever comes back. He never saw you leaving or coming back from work. You always seem to be at home. He never really cared but that was normal for him to act like this. Even though Rindou was acting weird lately because of that day and now Sanzu’s words.

“If one day she changes her mind, tell her to call me,” jokes Sanzu again, not knowing when to stop.

“She won’t,” answered Rindou quietly, desperate himself.

“You’re so full of yourself,” adds the pink-haired boy, now bored by his answer.

“I’m not, she’s just like this. I want her to change too…” Rindou suddenly seems a bit numb, angriness gone and only his mind even more stuffy. He doesn’t want you to stick him to death like this, he’d love it if you were able to change your mind, but not to go with someone like Sanzu. And as long as you stay at his place. It might seem to be contradictory, but in his unstable life you're the only thing that hasn’t changed in years and maybe he minds it more than he expected. After that, Rindou leaves the place alone without adding anything, leaving some of them annoyed or concerned. Ran doesn’t really get why his brother is now so concerned about you, but he really wanted to talk about it now.

Rindou comes home with someone that night. He never really does that because he knows he can meet you and doesn't want it to happen at all, but in his head it was clear that you’re rarely here on Thursday night. He never sees you anywhere in your shared apartment and so thought it would be okay for once ; he didn’t want to sleep over tonight, too tired for that. It's better to send her home when he’s done than to himself get home later. Everything was calm, nothing could be heard beside their footsteps and that was all he could pray for. As the girl entered the living room, looking around because she never gets to see where he lives even if they saw each other a few times now, she was more than ready to have some fun here. The place is big, tidy and the overall atmosphere is just perfect. She was already loving it.

“I really like your place, you choose all of this ?” she asked, mentioning the decoration and softly letting her hand go on the couch to feel the texture.

“That’s all you care about ?” answer harshly Rindou. Of course it was not him, this whole place is based on your tastes and he knows you have good ones since everyone told him that his place is so well decorated. It made him sick at first, but now he’s just used to it. She wasn’t there to look at the decoration but him and suddenly, he was off. All he could think was you, again. Following her to the living room anyway, being sure that his mind will change again if she shuts up, he notices something unusual. The door or your office was slightly open, a little lamp glowing inside but mostly you leaned on your desk. Your hair was still up in a ponytail and he couldn’t see your face but was sure that you were asleep. Chills drive down his back at the thought of you waking up to him fucking someone else here and his mind quickly get a conclusion. Grabbing the girl’s arm, he pulls her to the door in a rush.

“My wife is here, you have to go.” His tone looks like you didn’t know any of it and that was better that way or else she wouldn't let him alone easily.

“So we’re going somewhere else ?” she asked, sure that he will follow her. “No,” he simply said before pushing her outside.

“Don’t call me,” was the last thing slipping out of his mouth before he closed the door in front of her face. Rindou was confused at his own behavior. He could follow her at her place but it just doesn’t feel right anymore. Leaning his back against the door for a moment, a sigh leaves his lips before heading to your office. As he passed the door to check for real this time, you were certainly sleeping, an open window with a planned meeting for later on the screen. He never comes to your office before but you always seem to get out of there when you greet him when he’s back. Based on all the files that were accumulated here, you probably mainly work from here and that explains why he rarely saw you in the kind of outfit of the last time. Rindou doesn't dare look at your papers, knowing too well that you’ll never look at his, but still lets his gaze go around your desk, observing your workplace. It was like learning things about you and, to his surprise, it wasn't that bad. You look really invested in your work, have a photo of your younger brother on your desk and even a post-it to call your mom regularly. As he looked at all the things you had around your screen, he found one with when he comes home regularly and even important dates of the month, probably so you know when he comes back or not. That was showing that you cared without stepping on his intimacy.

His eyes fell on your sleeping figure, it definitely was bad for your back to sleep like this and he finds himself hoping that it doesn’t happen too often. You weren’t the little girl that wanted to follow him everywhere anymore, too curious about his job even though your dad did the same and teaches you everything you need to know. You learned to stay in your place and were now respected for sure based on your attitude outside this place. Maybe Rindou was wrong. Yet he won’t tell you that. So, before he leaves, he puts your jacket on your bare shoulders so you won’t be cold when you wake up and closes the door behind him to be sure to not wake you up.

“So both Haitani have to go, make sure to find someone to go with you because I don’t want to do it this time,” Koko warns while searching for the next subject of the meeting in his papers. A little chuckle leaves Sanzu’s lips, happy that it's not him but even more ‘cause it’s them. Rindou isn’t a big fan of events like this but if Mikey is asking for them, there must be a reason. Or not, they’re just there and he probably doesn’t want to send Sanzu or he will make a mess. Still fair enough to Rindou to not sigh at the thought. He just has to find someone, but someone was already on his mind. Plus, he understands Koko’s point : last time, they were both awful because they had to go instead of Sanzu and Kakucho and the poor girls had to go through their bad temper, no matter what, the whole night. This time wouldn’t be the same though, and it’s gladly appreciated. Ran likes those, and Rindou never mind coming with his brother when it's already planned like this. Everything must go well as long as no-one is acting like a jerk around them. It rarely happens in that kind of meeting but, there’s always some person for whom it’s the first time and so they can’t behave. Anyway, Rindou was praying not to cross their roads. He has something else to deal with first.

As Rindou was leaving the meeting with his brother when it finally came to an end, the older one offered him a ride home so they could talk about it further. Ran waves at the others while leaving , smiling but finally happy to have some time with his brother. Plus, they were both busy lately and didn’t get to talk to each other a lot, and since he knew something was off, Ran couldn’t wait to be in his car to talk. Walking to where Ran's car was parked, they both sat in silence before driving out of the parking lot. Ran felt like it’s been an eternity since this happened.

“What’s wrong Ran ?” asking Rindou straight away, knowing his brother too well to know that something was on his mind. His eyes were looking through the window, his chin in his hand, waiting for him to talk but he was obviously busy thinking.

“I want to know what’s on your mind lately,” answered the older one, looking at the road. After a short break, Rindou added a little “nothing” that could never convince his brother and he knew it. Ran sighs before shaking his head a little. Why was he always like this ?

“You can talk to me you know, we’ve been together for life,” he assures, looking sideways at him but he wasn’t moving. “You’re just weird lately and I’m worried. Is it because of Sanzu’s joke the other day ?”

Rindou clenches his jaw at the memories. Simply imagining it makes him want to kill him, and that fact shows how much he changes already. Acknowledging you was something that shakes him deep down, and he doesn't want anyone to joke about it anymore.

“Or is it just about her ?” adds Ran carefully after watching his reaction. His intuition was right, that time when you came to their office really did something to him, as if it was the first time he really saw you. Rindou knew it was impossible to hide it from his brother and sigh before leaning on the back of his seat.

“Just her,” he whispers, like it was a crime to say it out loud. Doing that made it real, and it was still hard for him to admit it. That you were on his mind, that he was kinda worried for you now, sometimes. He hopes you had enough sleep after your late meeting, that no one is bothering you anymore and even asks himself if you remember to eat since you work alone most of the time. It feels stupid and ridiculous, he never did that for anyone and he never thought he will for you but there he was, thinking about sending you a message at 2pm to asks if you’ve eat today when he almost never texted you.

“I feel like a child,” started the youngest, covering his eyes. Ran hum in response, encouraging him to go on. “She’s been on my mind a lot, I started to feel bad being like this with her. She always did a lot for me without me realizing it.” He cuts himself to breathe. Acknowledging that he was wrong seems harder than any mission he ever faced and Ran was ready to wait and listen to him like he always did.

“She’s not a kid anymore,” Rindou finally said but those words were cutting deep in his throat. He probably was the only one to not see it yet, too blinded by the view he had of you, of the child who cuts his freedom and who would always be useless to him because you were too young and immature.

“Better late than never,” answered his brother with a bit of sarcasm. No need to say that it wasn’t welcomed by the youngest who sent daggers at him. “I’m kidding,” chuckles Ran, “What are you gonna do now ? Accepting your marriage ? Considering her as your wife for real this time ?”

“I don’t know, I’m still thinking about it. But I stopped seeing other girls and she was the first one that came to my mind when Koko said we have to come with someone,” admit the youngest. A small and prideful smile appears on Ran's lips at his words. Rindou always blamed you for not being mature enough, but with time, he was the immature one in this relationship and he was ready to go on and face it. Finally.

“So you will ask her ?” Ran couldn’t contain his happiness, he always finds you cute in fact, and thinks that you suit Rindou pretty well in the end.

“Don’t be so happy about it,” pouted Rindou but still nods at his brother’s words. Yes, he will, even if he was anticipating your reaction.

Rindou tried to act normal as he came back home but his hands were sweaty. He stressed about it more than he thought. He rarely talked to you, besides arguing, and it feels weird to suddenly ask you to come with him at a big meeting as his date. Maybe he should apologize first. Thinking too hard about it, he doesn’t realize that he was now in front of your office door and, after a deep breath, he takes his courage with both hands and knocks.

The sudden noise makes you flinch. No one ever knocked on your door here and, for a second, you forget how to respond to that. You regain yourself fast and get up with a little “coming” before opening the door. There was Rindou, freshly coming back from work but without that annoyed expression he always has. Questioning yourself, you tilt your head to the side, not knowing if you should be the one speaking first or letting him since he was the one - kinda - asking for you.

“Do you need something ?” Yes, you talk first by reflex in the end, even if it never ends well. But for some reason, Rindou standing oddly calm in front of you made you feel calm too ? It never happened yet, he was always aggressive around you. Agreeing to your words, he was now searching for his words or how to say it and you never thought you'd be blessed enough to see Rindou like this. awkwardness showing in his attitude and looking away with a frown that didn’t seem hard at all. You wanted to chuckle, but kept your mouth shut and instead smiled politely.

“Just tell me, don't be ashamed,” you added sweetly. Rindou sighs, realizing he was probably ridiculous, he just decided to ask right away.

“I have an important meeting in a few weeks and I wanted to know if you could be my date for the night,” he said quickly, and if you weren’t used to your co-worker speaking so fast you probably wouldn’t have understood a single word. But you did and your cheeks grew hot immediately. You were touched by his offer for sure, but at the same time couldn’t believe it. Rindou never wanted you around him, to hear about you and was angry to get here because that means seeing you, why was he asking you this now ? He clearly saw the misunderstanding in your eyes and decided to speak up.

“I was the childish one in the end, but I want to make it up to you. That doesn’t mean that we’ll be a happy couple tomorrow,” he warns you. “But I’m ready to try to know you better…”

Your heart flutters at his words. It felt like you’ve waited all your life to hear those words. Your hand that was left on the door to keep it open falls slowly as your brain processes them and a lot of things come to your mind.

You didn't even think of nodding in agreement but were already retracing your schedules in your head to be sure you were free. Rindou was waiting for your answer, worried to the bone. You didn’t know, but you were so serious that he was sure you’ll smack the door at him soon because it was way too easy to come to you like this. Instead, you signal him to come inside with you so you can check the date and secure it for him.

“You’re okay with it ?” he asked, confused. Sitting at your desk, you looked at him surprised. “Of course I am, you’re asking so why would I say no ?” It was your first wife's duty, and you were more than glad to accept it. Even more since he was the one asking. So with a smile, you show him to come to you once again so you two can check together.

Rindou looked at you in disbelief, you sure were weird. He still doesn’t get you, and he doesn't really know if he will one day. But he will surely try from now on.

It took me some times, I’m sorry. I was, at first, in an exam period, but since I’m positive to covid I use that time to write and rest

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers imagine #tokyorev x reader #haitani rindou imagines #haitani rindou x reader #rindou fluff #rindou x reader #rindou haitani

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binunus · 4 years

Text

college bf!rocky

a/n next is our rock and aegyo king sorry sanha park minhyuk !! also I was going to post this yesterday :( but me and my roommates got a little too lit for valentine’s and I literally sat for 7 hours straight in zoom so I couldn’t finish it until now but !! I hope you loves enjoy!!

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ word count: 4.9k

_________________________________

alright aright alrightttt

we’re gonna switch it up a little bit

add a little flavor

because as much as I would love to say that college bf!astro all got their partners in a cute and smooth sailing way

we all know relationships aren’t that easy

but before we get into how you and rocky met

major: dance

are we surprised? no

rocky is a prodigy in dance

he’s been dancing since he could walk

he started choreographing at age 6

it just made sense for him, like even his parents were like go pursue dance, you’re not a law or business type of kid

he can master any type of dance from jazz, to ballet, to street, to contemporary, to tango, whatever you can think of

he’s roommates with music tech!jinjin

jin literally takes care of him all the time bc rocky??? when he comes back to the apt after dance practice?? dead weight

only passes his gen ed classes bc eunwoo tutors him

if it weren’t for the boys, rocky would literally live in the dance studio

they make sure to drag him out for fun and food at least once a week

or they join and keep him company while he’s practicing

have they gotten noise complaints before while messing around in the dance studio? yes

rocky is loud alright, especially when he’s with astro

he’s a perfectionist, literally will not leave the studio until he’s 100% satisfied with his progress

oh the amount of times myungjun and jin nag at him to take care of his health

now now

you’re also a dance major

people could say that you and rocky are the top two dancers of your year

gasp a rivals to lovers au??? you betcha baby

granted you switched into a dancer major your second year so rocky technically had seniority

but boom baby as soon as you made your appearance, it rocked his world

now im not saying rocky’s cocky bc obviously he’s a cute hardworking humble boy

but was he used to always being placed first in evaluations or getting the highest marks??? yeah

so the first time you placed first and he placed second??? it lit a bit of a fire in him

he’s seen a ton of good dancers in his time, but no one has ever matched his capabilities better than you

there was an unspoken rivalry between you two, everyone knew about it

you both always wanted to upstage the other

there was always a tension whenever you two were in the same room

but like...have either of you ever really talked to each other besides side remarks in class?

and it didn’t really help that the whole dance department basically pit you up against each other to see who was really the best dancer of your year

so you and rocky never had the proper introduction to a friendship, it just went straight to rivalry

and then came the announcements for the end of the year showcase

and instead of putting on a solo, the department chairs decided to have you and rocky perform a duet

and you’ve never worked with him before so you were dreading the first time you met up

you to your roommate: ugh i can’t believe im partnered up with rocky, that arrogant rude–

your roommate: have you ever even talked to him, y/n? he’s actually very nice

you: no...but that’s what he wants you to believe!

your ego sorta just went along with the whole thing

and rocky was 15 min late to your meeting bc he was out eating food with the guys so your patience?? very thin

literally as soon as he stepped into the dance studio, the air turned stuffy

rocky could feel you glaring at him and he just smirks??

rocky: did I make you wait long y/n?

you: yeah you did

he liked pushing your buttons?? idk he just felt satisfaction knowing that any small of action of his affected you that much

it made him feel like he was winning or whatever

and god it took literally forever for you two to decide on a song and genre of performance for the showcase

you wanted contemporary, he wanted ballet

you were literally disagreeing so much on it that you had to ask Siri to flip a coin

and then you fought and said that Siri was rigged when it chose tails (contemporary)

so you decided on a happy? mix of both

rocky at the end of your first meeting: i get that we’re not exactly friends, y/n, but we have to work together so let’s at least be professional

you: i can if you can

rocky: fine

you two literally bicker like five year olds on a playground

even the guys are like ???? why are you being so childish ???

you have 2 months of preparation until the showcase and you start meeting once a week for choreography and practice since given the assignment

you two are pretty civil for the most part, you make the contemporary parts and he makes the ballet parts and then you combine it when you meet up and see how it can incorporate and complement each other

there’s not much joking around ?? like you know how rocky’s a clown when he’s teaching astro choreography?? it’s not like that at all

and honestly you two are too caught up in your rivalry and tension to notice that your styles really match and highlight each other well??

there’s definitely a lot of “i could do this better than you” from both sides

i repeat: you are children

and then there’s this one practice where you and rocky are trying a pas de deux for the first time

(i literally looked this term up, it’s basically what jungkook and jimin from bts did during the 2020 mma black swan intro...if you haven’t seen it, watch it bc it is perfection mmm chefs kiss)

and you don’t know if it’s because you didn’t have enough momentum or rocky didn’t prep himself enough for the lift but he ends up dropping you and you both fall

and you both immediately start blaming each other for the mishap

until you lift your hand to point at him and it just hurts

it’s like a switch goes off, rocky’s immediately concerned and he’s like gently taking your hand like: holy shit are you okay??

you shake your head and you’re wincing whenever you try to move it

you: ow fuck rocky, I think it’s sprained

and he suddenly feels so guilty, like he goes silent

you: can we stop for today? I’m gonna go get this checked out, make sure it’s not broken

rocky: do you want me to go with you?

you: no. I’ll see you next week.

boy he feels so bad, he texts you throughout the course of the following week asking if you’re okay, asking your roommate if you’re okay, telling you he’s sorry that he dropped you

you didn’t respond much, not bc you felt weird texting him–well, you did a little bit shhh–but bc you were beating yourself up for getting injured a month before the showcase

you show up to practice the next week with your wrist in a compression bandage

and he doesn’t greet you with a quip like he usually does, he immediately grabs your wrist (gently) and he’s like inspecting the bandage

you: uh...the doctor said I should be careful with it for a week or two if i want it to heal faster. so don’t bitch at me if i’m not going all out

rocky: y/n...i’m so sorry...I didn’t mean to injure you, it was my fault that we didn’t execute the pas de deux

you just shrug: it was both our faults...if I didn’t fall on my wrist maybe we could have avoided this little obstacle

rocky: if I caught you correctly, you wouldn’t have even fallen

you: are we really arguing right now about this??

and then the two of you just laugh???

this is the first real pleasant interaction you’ve had with him

and you notice like wow rocky had a nice smile

you: i should be back to normal before the showcase so we should be fine

rocky: don’t push it though while we’re practicing alright? if your wrist starts hurting then stop, and don’t even think about doing any floor choreo

the atmosphere between you and rocky change after that

he becomes pretty concerned about your recovery–and maybe it’s bc he still blames himself for the cause of it

each night before your set practice days, he always shoots you a text asking how you’re feeling and how your wrist is doing

he brings ice packs, painkillers, and extra bandages during your practices just in case you need it

and you’re actually pretty touched by his concern

about two weeks before the showcase, your wrist is back to full movement and you’re like excited to actually practice to your best ability

from now on you see each other twice a week, just to get that detail and fine-tuning perfected

rocky’s still a bit hesitant to have you go full out but you reassure him that you’re fine

you both try the pas de deux again the day you take your bandage off

and you can see that he’s nervous to try it

you: rocky, i’m fully healed now. we haven’t practiced this move since the first time and we need it in our routine

rocky: but...y/n, what if I drop you again??

you: you won’t...i trust you

and you really did, that move requires a lot of trust between partners and you know? maybe it didn’t work out the first time because of the lack of trust between you two

and so you go through the full routine and rocky was holding his breath when that part of the choreography came up but you both successfully did it!! and it was a beautiful move

he was so excited at the end of the run through that he hugged you

and you were smiling too bc this was the first time you did a full run through without any stops in between

you both don’t even notice that all the hostility is gone??

and the tension suddenly changed from hatred to...dare I say it...sexual

oo baby the day of the showcase you two were hella nervous

but c’mon you and rocky were the best of the best so ofc you absolutely killed the performance

your energies literally merged as soon as the music started

every move was flawless

and you both had to face each other during your ending pose and you were just like looking at him like ??? wtf ??? did you maybe wanna kiss him??

and you know the look that rocky has in his eyes when he’s dancing

imagine that literally piercing into your soul

you got the shivers waiting for the lights to dim

you both received a standing ovation after your duet obviously

astro watching it bc they always support rocky: they’re gonna fuck 100%

fast forward to the next term bc you both didn’t really have a reason to contact each other during summer break now that the showcase was done

you and rocky had two classes together, dance research and advanced modern technique

it was then that you started to see his actual personality and how goofy of a person he was

you still had a rivalry of course, but now it was healthy

instead of trying to bring each other down, you both started motivating each other to do better

and yes you’ve always been impressed with how good of a dancer rocky was (and vice versa), but now whenever you saw him practice you start to feel a little bit of stir in your stomach and shit are you blushing??

and then you two get paired up again for your midterm evaluation

your teacher: i saw the chemistry you had for the showcase last term, i think you two would work well together for this project

and god is your teacher trying to murder you??? the theme of this midterm was “couple dance” to encourage collaboration or whatever

you were just thankful that the song choice she gave you was more upbeat and not sensual bc you know for a fact that you would not survive doing a sexy dance routine with rocky

but that didn’t stop the way your skin felt like it was on fire whenever he touched you for partner-dependent moves

this time around, you did the choreography process together and it was actually pretty fun??

you and him would bounce back ideas and joke around whenever something looked stupid

you and rocky did this by the way for reference

and then there was one late night when you two were practicing

it was around 2 am, no one else was in the music building and you both didn’t have class the next day so you two were just like fuck it let’s just practice until campus security kicks us out or whatever

you both were literally dancing for four hours, not just this new routine but old ones and freestyles as well

and then you were doing your new routine and during the part where he had to twirl and dip you, you both fall again

but no one got injured this time luckily

and you both just burst out laughing, maybe you were a little delirious at this point in the night

you: i can’t believe you dropped me again

rocky’s laughing and you both just look at each other, and he’s hovering above you right???

and your heart is beating so loudly in your chest you’re positive he can hear it

and you’re thankful that your face was already hot from dancing so that he couldn’t tell that you were in fact blushing

rocky’s like looking at you for a good minute or so and he’s just like thinking in his head: have you always been this cute?

and maybe it’s bc you guys have been getting along so well lately and the vibes are??? immaculate

but the atmosphere suddenly gets super thick and he !! just !! leans down !! and !! kisses !! you !!

and phew baby you bet that you immediately respond to it

you’re literally making out on the floor for like five minutes

and mind you, five minutes is a long time

until rocky’s phone rings loudly through the speaker and you both suddenly separate

he scurries to his phone and you sit up trying to compose yourself

jinjin: park minhyuk where are you?! it’s 3 am!!

you literally hear jinjin scolding rocky through the phone and you laugh a little bc it’s so cute how he’s getting nagged right now

rocky: hyung...im practicing...

jinjin: do i need to drag you out of there?! i’ll literally call bin to carry your ass to our apartment! how long have you been practicing huh?? have you eaten dinner at all??

rocky: okay okay I’ll come back home

he turns to you after ending the call and he’s so !! shy !!

rocky: I guess that’s the end of our practice haha...do you want me to walk you back to your place?? it’s pretty late out

you: yeah that’d be nice...hm you sure your hyung’s not gonna call a search party for you??

you’re teasing him and he just pouts

rocky: i’ll be fine

rocky walks you back to your apartment and it’s a little?? awkward??

but before you bid him goodbye he’s like: uh...the kiss earlier...sorry if I surprised you

your cheeks are hot again: it’s um...it’s okay, I didn’t mind it...it was actually pretty nice...I guess...

and rocky’s heart skips a beat and now he’s blushing: yeah...it was...i’ll see you in class then??

you: yeah, i’ll see you. text me when you get home okay?

he nods and waits until you’re safely inside and then he just starts grumbling to himself

rocky: i’ll see you in class?? could i say anything more stupid???

rocky’s adorable okay

him texting you when he gets back: im home :)

you: that’s good! good night rocky :)

he goes to the guys the day after like: i have a predicament !! me and y/n kissed !!

jinjin: that’s why you were late last night??

eunwoo: you dirty dog, doing it in the dance studio??

rocky: we didn’t do anything else hyung !!

bin: so did you ask them out??

rocky: no...i said...i’ll see you in class

myungjun: i’ll see you in class?!?! are you an idiot??

sanha: hyung even I’d ask y/n out after that

rocky: i know !! im dumb okay!! help me

sanha: you’re a lost case sorry

jinjin: why don’t you start with, hey y/n do you wanna get some food with me??

rocky: AHHHH

yes he does want to ask you out, yes he does want to kiss you again more than he’d like to admit, but he’s shy

you’re not faring any better, you and roommate were literally talking about it all weekend

the next time you see rocky (in class), you two are awkward as fuck

you both keep stealing glances at each other and then if one of you get caught, you both immediately look away

those 50 minutes of class could not go by any slower

and you were so ready to book it after the professor dismissed you but then you hear rocky call your name

rocky: hey y/n, are you free right now?

you: uh yeah! why what’s up

rocky: do you...um...wanna get some coffee with me?? or food or something??

you: do you mean like just to hang out or...uh like a date?

rocky: a date...if you want it to be

and cue the blushies again

you and rocky end up going to this cute cafe and get smoothies bc neither of you were feeling caffeine at the moment

and the whole time you two are just ??? so cute and shy and awkward with each other ???

which is such a contrast from how you two would dance together

rocky’s so sweet, really the cutest boy

gives you so many butterflies

the two of you end up going on little cafe dates before practice

and you’re all cute and wholesome

and then he turns all passionate and dominant when you start dancing

like wow alright rocky giving you whiplash or whatever

when you show the routine for your midterm, the teacher and other students give you both high praises

and he’s all giddy after class and he goes up to you: i think its safe to say that we have really good chemistry when we work together, don’t you think?

you’re smiling hehe but you wanna mess with him a little: hmm i think we’re alright, but who knows, i might mesh well with someone else

and then he’s all frowny, a little jealous: what do you mean someone else? do you make out with someone who just has alright chemistry with you??

your eyes go wide and you put your hand over his mouth: im kidding!!

rocky just smirks at your embarrassed reaction and he like tickles your sides

and then he just grabs your hand like: don’t find another dance partner y/n, just be mine

how could you say no to that??? especially when rocky’s just looking all handsome and charming and shit??? exactly. you can’t and why would you ever say no in the first place??

you and rocky dating?? biiiig news in the dance department

and even outside of it

bc lowkey rocky had a bit of a fanclub bc of how good he is at dancing, are we shocked? no

the boys are so happy for him !!

you meet his friends literally the day the two of you start dating

and you’re a bit nervous meeting them bc ofc you want them to like you, they’re his friends

but they’re so sweet...and headass

when rocky brings you to their dinner, the five of them literally start applauding at your entrance

you were so confused and rocky’s just out here with second hand embarrassment

he’s the cutest boyfriend

shy with pda in public (unless you’re dancing), most he’ll do is hold your hand

but in private he’s very clingy

loves backhugging you

he also tickles you when he wants to be a little shit

which is 50% of the time

very playful bf, will tease you at least once every day

if you two are just practicing dancing, he’ll make any sort of excuse to hold you or kiss you

asddfadsjf he’s so cute

gets very soft at night especially when you two are worn out from practice

just wants to go back to your (or his) apartment and cuddle and sleep

imagine just you two cuddling in bed after hours of dancing and he’s just spooning you and he mumbles tiredly into your shoulder: you’re amazing y/n...you’re one of the best dancers i’ve ever seen

and before, his pride would have never allowed him to say that, but now it can

not really one for pet names in my opinion, but he does call you “my y/n”

after you two start dating, you begin to call him by his real name, minhyuk

or you say hyukie

he lowkey loves it when you call him that, it’s so endearing

the guys teasing him, cooing at rocky all gross like : heyyy hyukkie

then rocky just like crosses his arms: only y/n can call me hyukie

he didn’t realize he loves couple dances so much until you and him are dating

well he only loves it because you’re his partner ofc

alright hear me out !! slow dancing with rocky

slow !! dancing !! with !! rocky !!

he dims the lights in the dance studio until it’s just a single spotlight and some slow romantic music comes on and he just grabs you by the hand and twirls you once before pulling you close and you’re just swaying side to side

and then he presses your foreheads together and he’s just looking into your eyes and gives you the softest smile

!!! im freaking out!! i want this so bad !!

that’s how the first i love you comes out

surprise, you say it first

okay but like in the moment, the atmosphere is literally so perfect, and you can just see how much he treasures you and you always feel butterflies whenever he does this, but there was just something that night that made you say it

like your chest was constricting so hard and you were thinking to yourself, i love this man

and so you just said it

and omg the smile on rocky’s face just widens and he kisses you so sweetly before he says it back

loves kissing you, your lips are like a drug to him

can literally make out with you for hours

has pushed you against the walls of the practice room just for a little make out session

ahhh here we go ladies and gents

sex !! with !! rocky !!

first and foremost, dance studio sex??? yes

especially if it’s just you two late night practicing like the first time you kissed?

mirror kink? maybe so

and bc y’all are ~flexible~, you bet he likes bending your back like a pretzel

he’s a very passionate lover, your pleasure is his #1 priority

loves foreplay just as much as the main event

but oof his hips?? grrrrr bark bark ram me over with a truck

his stroke game is so good

literally knows how to fuck you in all the right places

and his stamina??? god tier, can go at it for hours on end

into edging and overstimulation, oof you bet you’re cumming at least twice during every session

i cannot stress this enough!! thigh riding

you know he has thighs of steel

will make you cum just from riding his thigh

most of the time you guys start off slow and sweet, and then just boom it turns it hard sex

will definitely get turned on from doing a sexy dance routine

the amount of times he’s wanted to just fuck you in the middle of class bc you turned him on?? but ofc he has public decency he won’t do that

he knows you get turned on from his fingers oops

anal or vaginal fingering?? he’s all for it baby

he’s loud during sex, all the grunting, huffing, growling, oo im getting chills

not afraid to tell you how good you’re making him feel

not really into spanking, but he grips a lot, like his fingernails have definitely left some deep imprints in your hips or your ass

hair pulling?? yes, both sides receiving

okay but if you call him rocky during sex? big turn on

i can’t explain why, it just is

favorite position?? cowgirl

he loves when you’re on top of him

yes he likes seeing you try to fuck yourself on him

and then when he can’t take it anymore and just grabs your hips and thrusts up into you until your body literally collapses on him

he always tries to make you cum first but oops sometimes baby just busts a nut

yes you will probably tease him about it and then he’ll just shut you up by kissing you

on another note, no way to turn rocky on faster than sucking on his bottom lip when you’re kissing

will cuddle you after cumming, like he doesn’t care if either of you are sweaty or messy, he’s hugging you for at least five minutes

honestly becomes a baby after sex so it’s more like you’re giving him after care sksksk

the switch he makes from being a sex fiend to a clingy cuddly boy? whiplash

like you need to go to the bathroom to pee or something and he’s like: but...i wanna hug u

i would risk it all for rocky yes

anyway after graduating, rocky becomes a choreographer for this really famous dance studio and get recruited to join a highly-competitive dance troupe

you both do long distance for a little bit bc obviously he’s back home but you have to travel with your group for competitions, sometimes even internationally

and so that caused some strain in your relationship bc distance sucks, but you would always make sure to call him every night before going to bed and despite any time zone difference, he would always answer

your biggest supporter !! literally flew out to surprise you during a big dance competition in london or whatever and you cried happy tears bc was he really there right now??

that’s when you knew that he was the one :’)

you spent the night w him in his hotel room and after a good couple rounds of reunion sex, you were like trying to test the waters a little bit: i missed you hyukie

rocky: i missed you too, but now that you’re here with me, nothing else matters

you: what do you really think about this long distance thing??

rocky: it sucks...but i know it made us stronger. i feel like we can get through anything now

you: yeah, i agree

rocky getting paranoid: omg why? are you thinking of living abroad?? y/n, do i need to start looking at dance studios out here??

you have to hold in your laughter bc he’s so cute: why? would you move out of the county for me if i wanted to??

rocky: i mean...if you’re thinking of leaving for good...then yeah.

he gets so shy and quiet and you’re just !! wow you love him !! he’s yours !!

you kiss him shortly and you smile: no, i’m not gonna live abroad. I miss being home and I miss seeing you all the time. I told you before, I’m thinking of leaving the troupe in two months and then gonna find a job back home for good.

he lets out a sigh of relief: you scared me a little

you just laugh: I only wanted to confirm something and hmm I was right

rocky: what did you wanna confirm??

you being a confident baddie: that I wanna be with you for the rest of my life

rocky feeling his heart implode: you mean it??

you scoffing: why would I be lying about this?

he just laughs and kisses you: I wanna be with you too...I’ve been thinking it since the last time you visited. How much I love you and how much I hated seeing you leave for who knows how long, but I didn’t wanna say anything bc you’re still living your life and I didn’t want a promise like this to influence you to come back if you didn’t want to yet.

two months later you’re back for good and move in with rocky

you end up becoming a choreographer at his dance studio too

you and rocky: the couple™

and you live happily ever after

somewhere down the line...

sanha: hey remember when you two hated each other?

eunwoo: remember when you injured y/n??

bin: remember when you freaked out to us about your first kiss together

myungjun: and you said i’LL sEe yOu iN cLaSs

jinjin: those were fun times, right hyukie?

rocky: i hate you all

__________________________________________________

2-16-21

130 notes · View notes

smalltragedy · 4 years

Text

* ryan destiny, cis woman + she/her | you know kira blake, right? they’re twenty four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ever? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to babooshka by kate bush like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole lazily stretched out in a ray of light, daisy shaped irises and daisy chain braids, performing an intricate dance to move the ocean's waves thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )

hllo ive hd kira in my head fr a bit bt i also know ntohing abt her! this is me winging it even though i hv no right to <3 this is my third character maybe whose birthday is in honor of ella n coincidentally 2/3 of them r in this rp. yea im messy smirks sexily.

DEATH, GRIEF, DRUGS TW

mini playlist.

wuthering heights ;; kate bush / babooskha ;; kate bush / dreams ;; fleetwood mac / california dreamin’ ;; the mamas & the papas / lavender moon ;; haroula rose / time of the season ;; the zombies / after the storm ;; kali uchis / left hand free ;; alt-j / always forever ;; cults / wait a minute! ;; willow / your dog ;; soccer mommy.

statistics.

full name: kira blake

nickname(s): keely.

birthday: october 31st, 1996.

zodiac: scorpio sun, cancer moon, aquarius ascending.

mbti & temperament: esfp & catalyst / sanguine.

label: the ebullient.

sexuality: bisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

born to two original hippies which hs pretty much set up who kira is fr the rest of her life <3 the type of ppl who didnt like the boundaries of marriage n held off frm it fr as long as possible until theyd hd a spur of the moment elopement involving a celebrity impersonator at fannie’s <3 yea theyre lesbians lets go <3

nvr rly took things srsly until kira ws like 5 yrs old n then they were like ah gee ah fuck we probably shld probably settle settle. n they job hopped n worked many odd jobs until they found their footing in careers they liked n one of them probably does like. blown glass art. n the other prob fixes old computers n other ~vintage~ mementos of the past fr ppl.

they make a decent living n they live in delpinius heights n they try a few times fr another kid bt it nvr rly works out (raises an eyebrow. adopted siblings anyone?) n fr the most part kira as a child spends her time running around town and tugging on the hem of other’s shirts to ask them small favors (mostly to play a game with her)

often left unsupervised as a kid, bt not in the way tht her parents dnt care (bc her parents love her a lot a lot a lot like she is their world) bt in the way tht they simply raised her the way they were raised. running amuck all day n coming home jst in time fr dinner, front porch light always on, cat always waiting faithfully on their stoop.

pretty evident frm a young age tht kira’s mind saw things differently, in a different light - the world an array of light n mystery n sound n taste n sometimes those collided n created new experiences. prob hs some form of synsthesia bt dnt ask me which one yet. she’s a painting prodigy with an excellent understanding of color theory.

always ws known as a kind of like. rambunctious kid. a well meaning class clown who cld nt keep her mouth shut fr the life of her. grew up constantly with a yellow card beneath her name in school bt ws always well liked by her teachers n classmates alike.

jst a very bright child who did well naturally bt always ws turned more towards art.

feel like her parents very noticeably turned a cheek when she started smoking weed w the cool older kids when she ws 13. the type of person who wnts 2 b liked so bad she’d jump over a hurdle fr it. hs jumped over many hurdles n many fences n many other obstacles to be liked bt does it without breaking a sweat.

(edit: nw tht i think abt it hwevr i dnt think she does tht anymore i think while a bit of a mess atm she. likes herself. n doesnt rly want or need the approval of others anymore she jst does her own little thing. bt when she ws younger? she jst wnted 2 b friends w the entire world.)

nothing bad rly happened fr like. a good bit of her life. got into psychedelics at some point in high school n tht only heightened her artistic abilities. most of her high school art portfolio ws probably done while high bt <3 does it matter.

hd a high school sweetheart n they were pretty serious like. full on in love. a total believer of soulmates kira ws jst like. this is the one. there is nobody else i cn imagine my life with.

death tw

death tw.

death n grief tw // yea. sometime during their freshmen year of college. car incident. kira ws nvr the same though she’d like to pretend tht nothing’d ever happened. like theyd nvr existed. like she didnt plan out their entire lives together hiking thru hills n valleys n boating across various bodies of water n traveling together until they were old n wrinkly. end of death tw //

cld nt explain 2 u why kira hd bought a van n completely demolished it only to drain all of her savings remodeling it bt nw she lives in it by the beach. hd dreams of travelling the world bt cannot go long distances in a car without feeling sick. sees planes n feels envy. stopped painting fr a long time bt she’s started back up recently. took on surfing. told her parents tht it ws fine n tht she ws fine n theyre concerned bt shes always by the beach, her van rarely leaves. she’s trying her best bt its only been a few yrs n i think ppl cn sense tht shes jst nt the same cheerful girl as they once knew. end of grief tw //

anyways. tugs on my collar. tht’s kira! she lives on the beach n surfs everyday n is obsessed with daisies n is prob growing her own shrooms somewhere.

personality & facts.

always been very emotional n a little dramatic. nt a drama queen bt is a little messy n does not hv like. many rational thoughts up in there. very cup full or cup empty.

regardless though she hs an. overall reputation fr jst being. enjoyable to be around. her her little moments bt shes also pretty like. laidback. in a way. KDSHFSDLKHGHFLKSD

prob bc she smokes a lot or is often <3 on a trip if u know wht i mean <3

god. got obsessed with the 60s n 70s aesthetic at some point n hs not gone back evr. big fan of psychedelic rock. is a prodigy painter bt her life dream outside of traveling ws always to own her own record label. hs nt happened yet, maybe will never happen? works at a record shop though n does hide the good vinyls tht she wants away frm the customers.

very cheerful n usually uplifting n she doesnt like to b negative around others bt smtms she cnt control it n smtms thinks tht ppl r out 2 get her jst out of. anxiety. hs long bouts where she’ll sit in a still sort of sadness n then shake out of it n hop back into conversation like nothing’s happened bt. its fine we’re fine kira is fine.

shes not gullible or naive bt wants to believe tht everybody hs a heart of gold even if its false. keeps giving ppl second chances bc she hs a savior complex n thinks she cn change ppl.

is very into zodiac n will judge u by ur chart. knows everybody in town’s natal chart. even newcomers. it’s a little scary hw quick she finds this information bt its very important to her.

kind of like. into spirituality bt i wont lie its very surface level n a little superficial. learning tarot cards bt cannot fr the life of her memorize the meanings so smtms she jst makes up things on the spot. hs so many crystals she will not stop buying them.

i think a part of her is desperately trying to cling onto tht like. think positive. self care. msg thts super prevalent online without addressing or actually helping any of her problems. it is her flaw </3

hates to admit when she needs help. wld rather do everything herself.

head is a little in the clouds n her parents r a little concerned fr her bc shes nt rly doing much rn bt like. she jst needs time i think. shes jst doing her little thing.

does not give up on ppl easily she absolutely hates dropping ppl frm her life even if she grows 2 resent them over time which is bad bc she is bad at hiding when she is upset at someone or when she doesnt like someone.

like shes jst passive aggressive abt it n does not properly communicate <3

bt this is rare i think ... negative feelings abt other ppl

self centered bt not selfish if tht makes sense. she will do things fr others without a problem n sometimes trips over herself 2 do it bt at the end of the day i think she cares abt herself the most.

hs only been in love once bt hs hd many infatuations n many like. admirations n very surface level feelings. her body is a temple n she loves 2 b worshipped.

prob does fkn. beach yoga. probably vegan bt also maybe breaks tht every once in a while. almost noncommittal its hard 2 distinguish between her being carefree, not taking care of herself, or jst hving commitment issues? flaky or not? who knows.

feels jst a bit too strongly bt tries to contain it. jst full of multitudes or smth. idk. icon <3

like. cares bt doesnt care. does thinks tht r purposely self destructive n then acts like shes like. cool girl monologue frm gone girl. bt does it while being like peace n luv on earth x

ok thts all i hv goodbye

wanted plots.

a pseudonym 2 fool ‘em... ;; jst hd this idea pop up bt i like the idea of kira going undercover 2 expose cheaters. whether she does this on her own accord or is personally requested by smbdy is up in the air. a plottable point. she h8s cheaters n is chaotic good she prob thinks shes the relationship vigilante testing the strengths of other’s relationships. once again she cld b. specifically going undercover fr smbdy 2 help them out. im sure she wldnt go 2 very. extensive srs measures like actually. sleeping w the assumed-cheaters bt once again. world is our oyster n i lov drama?

crystal visions ... ;; once again. shes super into crystals n astrology n she will base sm of her opinions of others on it. this is nt just abt her being judgmental of others bt also jst. catching her running around in the rain trying sooo hard 2 fkn. charge her crystals in the rainwater bc she forgot 2 charge them under the full moon the night b4. this is her giving wrong tarot readings. she hs no idea wht shes doing at any given time bt acts like she does know. acts like she knows the entire world. she gives crystals as gifts n will do ur natal chart for u bt will also pack her things n leave if ur a capricorn.

time of the season... ;; i dnt knw admittedly. this song’s abt being horny so perhaps? perhaps. kira isnt rly able to keep a grasp on long term relationships rn due to. factors in her life so she hops frm person 2 person often. smtms jst flings smtms its jst a relationship accidentally led on. shes noncommittal n a little flaky atm when she’s usually ride or die fr others. perhaps this is all in the name of some good fun! world? oyster.

literally anything .dsfskhdkgs ;; god. shes so new i jst dnt know. childhood friends. current friends. friends shes hd frever. enemies n ex lovers n ppl shes constantly pushing away or scorned lovers or both or anything?? she pushed them out of the roller rink to make more room fr herself or maybe they did tht to her. perhaps theyre both constantly pursuing some sort of fkn. meaning in their lives tht they cnt quite grasp. mayb they go on an acid trip together. who knows.

#irvingintro #death tw #grief tw #car accident mention tw #drugs tw #specifically weed n psychedelics i think

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fics-for-my-heart · 4 years

Text

Broken (b.h)

Summary: After a bad breakup you go to the only person you know can help

Word count: 2332

Warning: The ex is a dick, some cussing, mention of getting sick

Requested: I love your blog so much omg! I’m not sure if requests are open but if they are may I please request something with Ben? Could you maybe do something where reader has just come out of a long term relationship bc the partner said they didn’t love her anymore? And she goes to best friends Bens house crying wth makeup all down her face and runny nose and it’s just the sweetest comfort he could ever give her? Maybe a sweet lil kiss if you could? I’m not having a great day as you can probs tell 😭❤️

A/N: I hate writing people who are dicks. Ugh. But I hope this is good. Honestly i was thinking of maybe making another part? Let me know please!

Masterlist

“Russ will be here any minute. What if he doesn’t like my dress?” Your eyes widened as you met the green ones watching you through your phone screen.

“Y/N, you look beautiful. Take a deep breath. He’s going to love your dress.” Ben said, his reassurance calmed you down, like it always did. He’d been your best friend for ages, and was always your rock when your mind started getting too jumpy.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, centering yourself. “Okay. I think I’m ready.” After looking over yourself you picked up your phone. “Thank you Benny. I hope you have a good night. I’ll text you when I get home.”

“Have fun tonight, but not too much fun.”

You laughed, shaking your head as you hung up.

“Y/N! He’s here!” Cordelia, one of your roommates called.

“Alright. Tonight is the night. It’s happening. Tonight.” You examined your left hand, the ring finger currently empty. But hopefully not for long if your suspensions are correct. All signs point to yes. He had lunch with his mother and grandmother a month back, and he’s been acting slightly nervous. After three years there’s really only one thing you can think of that could make him that way.

With one more glance at the mirror you were out the door, nervous butterflies fluttering around your belly.

Russ was leaning against the door with his phone in his hand as you came down. He looked handsome as always, his suit tailored to him, his white button down chrisp against the black of the jacket. His blond hair was quaffed just right while still looking slightly ragged.

The butterflies intensified as you drank him in. Smiling about just how lucky you were.

“Hi.” You whispered once you hit the bottom step.

He hadn’t looked up until you spoke, his soft smile didn’t quite meet his eyes as he pecked your cheek. “Hello dear. Are you ready?”

“Yes! I’m starving. I already checked online at their menu so it won’t take me long to make a decision.”

He chuckled lightly as his hand met your back, leading you out to his car.

Russ was quiet through most of the ride, which was weird because normally the two of you had a good flow. But he was probably nervous about what was about to happen. You sure were. And bless him he just let you talk and talk the entire way there, and part way through the meal. Reminiscing on some of your favorite memories together.

“Do you remember that time we got snowed in at the cabin?” You sighed, remembering how nice it had been. Just the two of you for three days. “We should definitely do that again.”

“I want to break up.”

“We can go aft...wait.” Your heart stopped, but was also making your ears ring. You must have heard him wrong. “What?” The squeak was almost too soft to hear.

Russ rubbed his brow with his thumb and forefinger, and gave a heavy sign. “I said I want to break up.” He wouldn’t look at you as your mouth gaped like a fish.

The world got blurry as you silently started crying. “You. You’re not.” Your chest shuddered. “You’re not proposing?” Again, barely a whisper.

A look that could only be described as disgust crossed his face, becoming stronger as he spoke. “Proposing? Why would you even think that?”

You started picking at a thread in the napkin on your lap. Still crying. Still hardly able to speak. “I told Cordelia you went to eat with your mom and grandmother and she said that you must be asking for your great grandmother's ring.”

He sighed, again. “Oh my god.” You glanced up just as he was shaking his head. “No, Y/N. I’m not asking you to marry me. I,” again with the sighing, like he has better things he could be doing. “I met someone else, and I just don’t love you anymore.”

You were going to puke. Yup, bile was definitely burning your throat just like the tears burning your eyes. “Som-someone e-else?”

“Yes. That’s who I was with when I told you I was with mom and gran.”

“That was.” You shook your head, a new emotion starting to build in your gut. “That was a month ag..how long?” You weren’t sure you even wanted to know. Dread. Sadness. Anger. To many emotions at once. Your hands were shaking as you looked at him. Waiting on his answer.

Finally guilt flashed across his face. “Eight months ago.”

Suddenly you were on your feet, chair knocked over and your voice the loudest it’s ever been. “EIGHT MONTHS? You’ve been cheating on me for eight months?” Your voice broke at the end with a full body sob. “Ei-eight fucking months? After almost four years!” Everyone was looking at you.

Again, Russ sighed, he really must have better things to be doing. Or a better someone. “Look Y/N. We had a great time together.” His voice was the low one now, trying to not be overheard. But everyone in the restaurant was quiet. Even the chef and line cooks had come out to watch. “I’m sorry. I just needed something new. We’ve got lots of good memories together, as you know since you talked about a lot of them tonight. But I just don’t want to be with you anymore.”

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner? Why fucking stay with me?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at anyone else. The embarrassment only added to your nausea.

Russ shrugged one shoulder. “Since I’m being honest, you’re really good at a..few things. And I wasn’t quite ready to give them up.”

“You fucking dick! You piece of sh..” Your own body cut you off with a wretched sob that had firm, but soft hands wrapping around your arm.

“Shh.” A gentle breath hit your ear as the hand turned to an arm, wrapping around you. “Come on dear, let’s get you out of here.” Russ moved to get up as you finally looked at the women at your side. Her hard stare was enough to send him back on his butt. “You better sit your ass down and don’t move.” She turned you, grabbing your bag on the way to the door.

“Here hun.” Another soft voice said, as a phone was placed gently in your hand. “Enter your address, I’m paying for your Lyft home.” It was the hostess who had taken you to your table. Her face saying she heard everything.

There was only one place you could think of to go, and it wasn’t home. With shaky hands you typed in the address, thanking the hostess. Then waited, still in the arms of the nice women who had come to your rescue.

“Thank you.” You whispered, eyes finally drying enough.

She tisked. “No need dear. I couldn’t let him talk to you like that. Howard, my husband, is making sure he doesn’t come out here while you’re still here. I’m Wanda by the way.” She reached in her pocket, pulling out a business card. “My husband and I are realtors. If you need anything. This number is my cell.”

You nodded, spilling the card in your purse as a car pulled up.

“Lyft for Y/N?” The female called through the window.

“That’s me.” You turned to Wanda, “thank you again, really. I. I don’t know what could have happened if you hadn’t stepped in.”

“I’ve got girls of my own and a son too. I couldn’t sit back and watch it go on. You go home and get some rest.” She opened the door and you climbed in, thankful for the quiet of the car.

The ride wasn’t long, but it felt like forever. Your mind was reliving the past 30 minutes over and over. Your jaw was hurting from trying not to cry in a strangers car. It was taking everything in you not to lose it, but the moment Ben opened the door you collapsed.

“Fuck.” He gasped, reaching for you before you were all the way down. “Y/N? Y/N what happened?” He was pulling you inside as you shook with sobs, clinging to him as if he might disappear.

“Shit.” You heard him whisper as he wrapped an arm around you, using the other to lift you. “Y/N. Talk to me what’s going on?”

You still couldn’t speak, just sobbed more and pressed your face into his shoulder as he carried you to the living room, keeping you in his lap as he sat.

And he let you cry. Gently rocking side to side, a hand softly rubbing your back as the other kept you against him. His breath was warm as he shushed you. His lips occasionally pressing against the crown of your head.

“Russ broke up with me.” You finally whispered against his chest, hiccups causing your body to jump. His entire body froze as you kept talking. “He’d...he was cheating on me. Has been for..for a while. Then, said the only reason he stayed with me was for the sex.” Another hiccup had you gasping for a moment. “Everyone in the restaurant heard him….I think I’m going to be sick.”

You jumped out of his lap, running to the bathroom under the stairs and dry heaved. The tears started again, as nothing came up, but Ben’s general fingers were pulling your hair back just in time.

“It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.” His voice was general as he stood there. Then once you were flopped on the floor, he handed you a glass of water.

“Why me, what did I do? Why wasn’t I good enough?” You sniffed. How many tears could someone cry? “I’m sorry.”

“No. There’s no need to be sorry. Here.” He extended his hand. “Let’s go upstairs and get you cleaned up.”

The only sound in the house were your hiccups and both your feet walking up the steps. He led you to his bathroom, handing you a toothbrush. As you brushed your teeth he went back to his room, returning with one of his hoodies and shorts.

Your face was a mess, and you almost started crying again looking at how different you looked now compared to just two or so hours earlier. Eyeliner and mascara streaked your face, eyeshadow was smeared everywhere, and your hair was all over the place. Not to mention how red and swollen your eyes were.

“Up.” Ben said, patting the space beside the sink and pulling out some makeup wipes. “I want you to know something.” His voice was a whisper as he gently started removing your makeup. “You are so strong and amazing, Y/N. I know it hurts now, but I promise it’ll get better. And I’ll be here through it all with you.” He placed a soft kiss on your now clean forehead. “You are beautiful, and smart, and funny. Russ is a moron for what he did.” He finished with your eyes and pushed your chin up to look at him. “But that’s his fault. He’s the dumbass who fucked up. Not you. It’s not your fault. Okay?”

Tears were threatening to fall again as you pinched your lips and nodded. As you looked away you saw the mess on his shoulder from your makeup. “Oh. I’m s-“

He put a finger to your mouth. “It’s a shirt. It’ll wash out. Please, Y/N, stop apologizing.”

The two of you were silent as he finished wiping your face. Then he gently brushed out your hair, braiding it behind you.

He stepped away, letting you get off the sink. “Alright. You, bed. I’m going to go make you some tea.”

You just nodded, exhaustion weighing every movement down as you buried yourself in his bed.

Ben's bed was always one you preferred over your own. It was the perfect amount of softness and firmness. His duvet was light as a cloud but still warm. And his sheets always smelled like him.

“Y/N?”

You grunted in response, moving the blanket down.

“Tea, love.” Carefully he joined you, passing you the tea once you were sitting up comfortably. “It’ll help with your stomach.”

Ben turned the tv on to a movie you'd each seen a few times as you sipped the tea that was made just how you liked it.

“I’m sorry I’m such a mess.” You whispered to your empty tea cup. There were so many thoughts swimming in your head, yet you felt empty. Drained physically and emotionally.

Ben took the cup and sat it on the nightstand before gently placing both hands on your face. His green eyes unyielding at his seriousness. Yet his voice was just as gentle as it was all night. “Please stop apologizing. I’m serious. There is nothing you need to tell me sorry for.” His thumb swiped at a tear as you nodded. “Your feelings are valid. You have every right to be upset and to show how upset you are. And I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here through all the tears and for anything you need.”

Your body relaxed, his hands the only thing holding you up. After another nod from you, he pressed his lips against your head, holding them there for a bit before pulling you to lay with him.

The gentleness of his hand rubbing your back, and the rhythm of his heart beat relaxed you more. And you knew, even if it was just for tonight, that you were safe and that he was right, even if it’s not okay right now it will be. That was the last thought you had as you drifted off to sleep, thankful to forget the events of the day even if only for a few hours. Knowing Ben would be there when you woke up to keep you grounded. Just has he always had been.

#ben hardy #ben hardy fic #bff ben

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ncityislove · 4 years

Text

The Jury is Out Ch. 3

➳Pairing: Renjun x Reader x Jeno (ft a few other Dreamies)

➳Genre: Angsty fluff but mostly angst lol basically enemies to lovers

➳Word Count:4.6k

Hiiii guys! It’s been over a year since I started this series and this has taught me so many things. Mainly, how much I can not be trusted to start and finish a series lol. The last two chapters will be out soon. I really mean it this time.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

There's an awful pounding in your head from the looming headache you didn't see going away anytime soon. Your over-bearing thoughts being added into the mix is plain unbearable as you wait for your first class to start and your sour mood only worsens when you recall the unfolding of yesterday's events. The strong sense of shame was overwhelming like a dark cloud hanging over your head. How did you get here? Your biggest mistake was letting your guard down to the likes of Renjun. That's where it all went wrong. You try telling yourself you don't need him as a friend. You have Jeno. But you can't silence the desire in your heart to have something more than a partnership. You'd gotten a taste of what's it like to be under the warm rays of his kindness after being on the receiving end of the endless blizzard of the cold reign he had over you and the entire school. That wasn't something you could just forget.

When Renjun arrives, he takes his place right next to you, unpacking his items as if it were the most normal thing in the world. You don't know why he isn't sitting in his usual seat when you didn't have a lab today. You frown but silently remove your bag from the chair next you, nonetheless.

He sits down eagerly, glancing at you a moment longer than socially acceptable. "I like your hair."

Your hands immediately grip the strands. After the party, you decided to forgoes the ponytail and headband combo that you'd been sporting for so long. "Oh, um, thanks."

Was that a compliment just now?

"Where were you yesterday, by the way?"

"I was sick, so I missed first period," he states, not even missing a beat.

Unbelievable. He's lying straight to your face. You frown distastefully.

"That's not what Chenle had to say."

"Hm? Chenle? He's always pulling pranks—I wouldn't buy anything that comes out of his mouth," he laughs.

You glare at him for a moment. "You didn't get my texts messages?"

He smiles sheepishly. "Oh...sorry about that. I was...um...busy?"

You turn the other way to discretely roll your eyes. "Are you okay at least?"

"Yeah, never better!"

You shake your head, not wanting to seem like you actually cared despite the fact that deep down you knew you did. It's crazy that all it took was one little afternoon alone together and suddenly Renjun matters to you. All those years of being at each other's throats out the window. Just like that. It was different now. You were more mindful of each other's feelings and it's even gotten to the point where you're receiving compliments. It was a change that you still hadn't adjusted to but maybe it wasn't as lousy as you made it seem. The horrible excuses and lies weren't something you were fond of but it's not like you were friends so you kept that to yourself. You just wished he'd tell you the truth or even hearing that he didn't want to talk about it would've been fine. You didn't see why he had to lie...

You had to remind yourself that you shouldn't be so concerned with Renjun. It was weirding you out that you were thinking about him so much lately. As much as you hated to admit it, you might've maybe felt something for him in that teeny split second after you made up on the field. You never really noticed how funny he was bc you were always the butt of the joke but it turns out he was pretty hilarious. And his voice was so sweet and calming you could probably listen to it forever. But whatever it was—that moment your heart skipped a beat— was gone. It was crazy to even think—there was no way you'd ever say that out loud. Clearly, Renjun would never reciprocate.

If only Haven could see you now.

Renjun turns his body toward you, giving you his full attention. "Are we meeting at the track after school?"

"I have volleyball practice but we can meet after, if you want."

"Yeah, cool," he says, looking pleased.

"Are you sure you're okay though?"

The question had been on your mind since yesterday. Maybe something happened with his dad and he didn't want to say anything. According to Jeno, he didn't talk about that stuff much but you still wanted to make sure he was okay.

"Huh?" he looks at you strange. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Are you sure? I mean, you can tell me if you're not." You regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth.

He snickers, his face glowing with a big smile. "Are you worried about me?"

You scowl to hide your panic. What was happening to you? "As if," you scoff.

"Aww, you care about me! Who knew the coldest person in the world had a heart?" he pinches your cheek.

You violently slap his hand away and he jerks back.

"Don't!" you point a finger in his face. "touch me. Never again. Got it?"

"Alright," Renjun chuckles lightly. "My bad. Whatever you say."

When class starts, the teacher pulls up her usual PowerPoint and you begin messily jotting down the first slide. She seems to be in a rush as she breezes over every slide, making it difficult to write down everything in time.

Renjun nudges your arm. You look to see him offering you a piece of gum. You reject it, mouthing a 'no thanks' with a polite smile and scramble to write down the rest of the slide. He purses his lips, taking a piece for himself, leisurely writing his notes.

A few minutes later, he nudges your arm again. "You got any led?"

Your nostrils flare as you let out a sigh, pulling out your pencil pouch for him to find the kind of led he needs. You pick your pencil back up to continue your notes.

"Thanks," he whispers. "Hey, did you get that last slide?"

"Oh my god, no, Renjun!" you whisper-shout at him. "How could I have gotten the last slide when you keep distracting me??"

He starts to giggle and it you get even more heated that he found pleasure in this. You're just to about to curse him out in every language known to man when Mrs. Brookes stops her lesson.

"What's going on back there?" she peers down her bi-focals to stare you down. "__, would you like to tell me what the main parts of the brain are?"

"Umm," you hesitate, your eyes scanning over the board. It must I've been on the last slide--which you didn't get the chance to copy thanks to Renjun.

Mrs. Brooks looks at you impatiently and the class turns to look at you as well when you take too long to answer.

"Cerebellum, frontal lobe, parietal lobe, cerebrum, and the thalamus," Renjun answers, ultimately saving your ass.

"Very good! Thank you, Renjun. Now, as I was saying..." Mrs. Brookes turns back to the whiteboard and continues rambling on about the brain.

"I thought you didn't get the last slide?" you whisper.

"Just because I didn't write it down doesn't mean I wasn't paying attention."

You stare at the side of his face in disbelief and you can tell by the way his cheeks were lifted he was smiling.

Renjun sits with you again in third period. You scoot your stuff over, once again saying nothing. This was getting a little too odd. If you weren't friends why did he keep sitting next to you? You weren't friends, were you? You decide not to ask. Sadie seemed like the right person to confide this type of stuff into. Your desks were too close together which made Renjun's knee touch yours. You wouldn't have noticed any other time but this time in particular it was hard to not to.

"You should sit with me at lunch from now on."

Definitely getting mixed signals here.

"Why?"

"We're partners. It only makes sense, you know?"

"But we've been partners for years," you interject.

He opens his mouth then closes it. "Well, yeah that's true...but you still should. I won't force you to but I'll be really upset if you don't."

"Upset?" you repeat with a tilt of your head. In what universe would he get upset over anything you did that didn't have to do with you scoring higher than him on an assignment? You didn't understand why he was acting so weird today.

"Yeah and if I get upset, I won't be able to focus on the booth." his tone is sad and it tugs at your heart for some reason.

"Well...if that's the case, I'll do it. For the sake of the booth."

He smiles triumphantly. "Right. For the booth."

The kid who usually sits next to you walks over and stands there awkwardly before he finds an empty seat somewhere else. You try not to laugh at how uncomfortable Renjun looks. Class goes by smoothly this time, Renjun only bugging you every once in a while to compare answers on your worksheet. When the bell rings, you and Renjun walk to lunch together. He's talking to you about the Pythagorean theorem but you keep getting distracted by the odd looks people keep giving you in the hall. You weren't used to getting this much attention. You're existence was pretty much irrelevant unless something happened with your rivalry and it was usually only gossip worthy if he had done something incredibly embarrassing to you. Renjun, being the top of the class and being friends with almost all the members in the the school sports teams on the other hand, was very popular. You couldn't begin to imagine the confusion you two were causing just by walking to into the cafeteria together. He was always the center of attention and much like Sadie, he was born likeable. It was easy for him to make friends and juggle the delicate balance of having a social life and performing well academically. You were a nobody compared to him and up until now you were fine with that. It was easier to focus on your studies without the distractions from others and what drama friendships with others would bring but you had to admit having someone to walk to lunch with was strangely nice. Jisung is the first person to see you coming, a look of recognition crossing his face. Chenle was next; he smiles sending you a friendly wave. You say hello, sitting your tray down next to Jeno and Renjun sits on the other side of you.

"Hey, beautiful, what're you doing here?" Jeno asks.

You flush at the pet name. "I think as Renjun's partner, we should take advantage of the free time we have to work together."

"Oh god, you two are so much alike," Haechan groans.

"I think it's cute," Chenle beams.

Jaemin fake gags and everyone bursts into laughter except for you who didn't find it all that funny.

The laughter dies down.

"Will you be spending all of your free time with Renjun?" Jeno asks.

"Of course not," you wrinkle your nose at the silly question.

"In that case, would you like to go out on a date? How's tonight?"

You drop your carton of milk on the table that thankfully you hadn't opened it yet. You must've misheard him. You know the words he said to you and yet, you couldn't believe they were meant for you. Your stammer for words. Any words. But they don't come and the whole table is staring at you in anticipation.

"I...can't. I have practice after school and then I have to work on the booth. I'm sorry."

The boys "ooh" in unison like a bunch of fifth graders.

"It's not like that!" you scramble to fix your words. "We can go another day?"

Jeno's eyes disappear as he gives you the most heartwarming smile. You can't help but smile back at him.

Chenle clears his throat. "What do you think about that, Renjun?"

Renjun's picking at the edge of his foam tray when he shrugs. "I couldn't care less."

Chenle gives him a glare as if he's trying to convey some message to him but Renjun doesn't meet his eyes so he elbows the crap out of him.

"Argh!" he rubs his arm. "Fine. I admit I don't approve."

The table gets quiet. You and Jeno share the same expression of surprise.

Jeno juts out his chin. "Why not? And don't say she's too good for me."

"Renjun clenches his fists. "It'll distract __ from school and I don't think that's what she wants."

Jeno snorts. "It's just one date. I think she'll be fine. And when we do become a couple—which we will, I'll make sure of that—I won't distract from her school work."

"Yeah, but I don't think—"

"Plus, you used to have a girlfriend—what's the difference?"

The atmosphere tenses at the mention of Haven and Jeno looks sorrowful as the boys send him ferocious looks.

"Shit...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"When does practice end?" Renjun changes the subject.

You're still confused as to what's going on. "Who? Me?"

"Yes, you, dummy," he grins.

You ignore the fact that he just called you a dummy. "It ends at four but I can leave early."

"Mind if I come and watch?" Jeno asks.

"Sure!" you get excited at the thought of Jeno watching you play.

"No fair! I wanna come too!" Jisung exclaims.

Jaemin reaches out to pat him on the shoulder. "Absolutely not. You're not going anywhere near those girls, you pervert."

You crack up at the two, unaware of the concerned look Chenle's giving Renjun as he silently scribbles dark circles in his notebook.

You arrive to the school gym, hauling the equipment the coach had you fetch. The girls are all huddled in a circle, gossiping most likely. You set up the net and clear the court of the smelly matts that were left behind from a previous class. You could ask for help but you were sure no one wanted to.

You break up their little party after you get another text of instructions from the coach.

"Ladies, coach says she's not coming until the end of practice so we're starting without her. Let's start stretching, okay?"

The girls spread out and begin to warm up and you join them. Everyone's following instructions except for Haven, who's still standing in the same spot.

"Haven," you say in a warning tone.

"Why can't we just hang out until coach gets here? She doesn't have to know."

Her smile is innocent but you know there's nothing innocent about the girl.

Everyone agrees, the room filling with murmurs.

You already sense anger rising in your body. It seems like every time Haven opened her mouth, it was always to go against you. Maybe her and Renjun were the perfect couple after all.

"Guys, c'mon. If we slack off, we'll throw the next game and lose our winning streak."

"No way, skipping one day of practice won't cost us some measly game. You're being a little dramatic, don't 'ya think?"

"Some measly game?" you repeat.

"You don't even care about winning. Haven, you don't care about this team at all—why should any of us listen to you? I am captain of this team, in case you've forgotten."

"Oh god here we go again," she sighs. "That's just a title. That doesn't make you the boss of me."

"Oh, yes it does. I can get your ass kicked off the team with one word. Coach trusts me, all I have to do is say it. Should I have a chat with her when gets here?"

Haven gets as red as a tomato, her lips poking out in an ugly pout. You almost laugh at how childish she is. It was a mystery how people adore her so much when she's got such an ugly attitude.

"Since you all agree with Haven, let's do ten laps. C'mon."

Everyone gives Haven dirty looks as they get up and start their laps.

"Let's go girls, I'd like to get this over with so we can start practice." you clap your hands to speed them up. "And Haven? You get an extra ten laps."

Haven flips you off before she runs off but you don't really care. At least, she was listening to you for once. You hear a door slam upstairs and Jeno struts in, taking a seat at the back of the bleachers. He's smiling as he waves to you, giving you a thumbs up. You can't help but match his smile as you wave back.

When everyone's finished their laps and done their stretches, you split them into two teams. You're opposing Haven's team and boy, do they suck. They're losing embarrassingly bad and you're not even the one who's hitting the ball. One of your best players, Sana, was dragging the other team through the mud. Mina and Momo always made sure the ball got passed to her and when she swung her fists, the ball connected with the ground every time. Haven hated lots of things but you knew most of all, she hated to lose. This was the only reason you haven't kicked her off yet. She wasn't the best player—not even close—but she did like to win. You don't know what made her join the team in the first place but she did and she always tried to win when it really came down to it.

You switch positions on both sides, you serving the ball this time. You throw the ball up high, spreading your fingers apart as you raise your hand and slam your palm against it so hard, there's a loud thud that echoes through the gym. The other team throws themselves to save the ball but their efforts are in vain. The ball is too fast for them. Applause comes from the top right corner of the room and everyone turns to look at Jeno. You pretend you don't notice him, calling the ball back but your flushed face exposes you anyway.

Jeno whoops and cheers every time you scored a point, and let's be real, with the skills you have, that means it happens a lot. You never had someone who wasn't your parents or your coach cheer you on like this and it was something you found you really enjoy. You could get used to this. For a moment you let yourself imagine him attending your future games. Your stomach fills with butterflies and you could almost hear him calling your name when you dive to save the ball.

"Why's Jeno here?" Haven whispers to to one of her friends. "Since when was __ close to Jeno?"

You smirk, waving Jeno over after letting everyone take a short break. The two of you laugh and talk for a bit, ignoring the cold stare Haven's giving you in the distance. She was in a bitchy mood today and you weren't going to let that ruin your time with Jeno. Her witchy attitude has peaked since the first time Renjun invited you to his table. Maybe she was jealous. She probably was still hurting from the break up you assumed but that had nothing to do with you.

Jeno walks you to the track field where you find Renjun, who's already gotten a head start. His jacket is thrown over his bookbag and you take notice for the first time how toned his arms are with his sleeves rolled up. He looks up when hears your footsteps, the smile on his face slowly fading when he notices Jeno next to you.

"Oh great. What are you doing here?"

You laugh at his displeased expression. "He's just leaving, calm down."

"Actually," he interjects. "since I'm here, why don't I stay and help out?" Jeno proposes.

"Oh!" you let out an excited squeal you didn't know you were capable of. "That's great idea! Yes!"

"Absolutely not!" Renjun rolls his eyes. "Go home, Jeno. You'll just get in the way."

Jeno juts his bottom lip out and you have to keep yourself from swooning at how adorable he looks.

"Renjunie!" he whines. "I promise not to get in the way. Let me help?"

You give him pleading eyes behind Jeno's back. Renjun looks at you and grunts, muttering something inaudible as he starting hammering away at a slab of wood a little too hard.

"Yes!" Jeno takes off his jacket and gets to work.

"This is a one-time thing," Renjun declares, his back turned to the both of you.

"Right, right, got it," Jeno quickly agrees. "Let me help you with that," he runs over to carry the bucket of paint you were holding.

You watch him lug the heavy object to the table. "Oh, thanks, but I had it."

Renjun rolls his eyes again.

You find him repeatedly trying to get Jeno to go home as you work. Each and every time Jeno would laugh it off, calling him grumpy. You could tell his mood was off but you didn't want to bother him by asking why. He never told you those kinds of things anyway so why go through the trouble of asking? He never laughs when Jeno makes one of his famous jokes and he doesn't look at you when you speak to him. You wish he wouldn't be such a fun killer but he was almost always like this—even at parties, you've come to find out.

When you start to lose daylight, you decide to call it quits for the day.

"I think we can wrap up for now," you beam. "We're nearly finished thanks to Jeno."

Renjun's bag is already slung over his shoulder by the time you finish your sentence. "See ya."

"Yeah...I'll see you," you trail off as he sprints down the field.

"What's his problem?" Jeno asks aloud.

You shrug just as your phone starts to jingle that annoying ringtone you set it to over a year ago. You dig it out of your back pocket and read the caller ID. It's Sadie.

"Hello?'

"Hey! Listen, I'm so, so, sorry, I totally spaced about picking you up after school. I'm out with Jodie right now."

You can't help the displeased noise that comes from you at the sound of Jodie's name. "That's cool, I guess. I can just walk like I usually do."

"Are you sure? We can come and get you in about twenty minutes."

"We? Yeah, no thanks. I promise, I'll be fine."

"I promised mom and dad I'd pick you--hold on. Jodie, I'm on the phone...what?"

There's whispering then a short silence on the other line and you give Jeno an awkward smile.

"Um, okay, be safe walking. Sorry again! Bye!"

Click.

"So, you're walking home today."

"Yep. My sister conveniently forgot about my existence, so yeah, I'm walking."

Jeno's eyes light up. "Do you live close by? I can walk you home."

Your chest fills with warmth at the gesture. Lee Jeno. You had Lee Jeno offering to take you home. Renjun's bad attitude had left a nasty taste in your mouth but hanging out with Jeno sweetened your day just like that.

Renjun had a way of hurting you in ways no one else could. You didn't know why what he thought of you was so important to you, or why everything he had to say held such a huge weight. He wasn't exactly someone you were very fond of so who cares what he had to say? But Jeno. Jeno always had kind and encouraging words. He was the safe band-aid you needed after being cut by Renjun's blunt words. His razor sharp tongue and eyes for daggers always stung but Jeno protected you. He defended you.

So you say yes to his offer and you make the bold move of linking your elbows which Jeno reacts with a subtle pink tint in his cheeks. Your pace is slow to lengthen the journey, allowing you a chance to get to know each other a bit more.

As time progresses, you realize you had liked Jeno more than you initially thought you did. School had always kept you from exploring your feelings for him. Now, it was clear as ever how you felt about him. You'd turn into a bashful mess at every single flirty comment he'd make, which would only fuel him to flirt harder. He made good company and you wished you hadn't have waited so long to speak to Jeno. You couldn't remember the last time you were this engaged in a conversation with someone--disregarding the one time with Renjun because he's a jerk.

If this is what it's like to have a friend, you had been missing out all these years. He made you feel warm inside like those cheesy rom-coms Sadie loved so much.

His arm was tucked snugly into yours, your steps matching in pace as you neared the street you lived on. You could smell the pleasant fragrance Jeno wore from the close proximity and it brought you back to the night you were drunkenly dancing together. You still couldn't believe you drank alcohol but then again, who lives by a code of conduct in high school? Who was going to punish you for acting your age for once? On second thought your parents would probably ground you for life but that's not the point. The point is you're starting to learn what fun is. If you can't be the best then what's stopping you from enjoying life while you're still young? Looking at Jeno in the stark red haze the sky is dawning on him made you want to do just that. He made you want to live a normal life.

You playfully bump each other, cracking jokes until you reach the driveway of your residence with hesitance. You weren't ready to depart just yet.

"Well," you remove your arm from his. "This is me."

"Aww," he sigh a little. "Well it was nice walking with you."

"Yeah, you too. I'd invite you inside but no one's home and my parents would crucify me if I let you in."

You hadn't realized it but in the few seconds you had looked away, Jeno had gotten closer. Really close. You feel a rapid heat spread all over and you struggle to keep a normal expression.

Jeno smiles before grabbing your elbow to yank you even nearer, his eyes studying yours as he speaks his next words to you carefully.

"Do you wanna kiss me?"

Your mouth goes dry and all you could do is nod, numbly.

He cracks another smile and you were instantly mesmerized by the way his lips curls over his teeth and the thought of how his lips would feel on yours. Your heart stills for a moment. You shut your eyes with baited breath as his lips gets closer to yours.

Slowly, very slowly he kisses you. It was an odd but welcoming feeling, kissing a boy. But you liked it. And you liked Jeno.

Jeno removes himself from you after a few amazing seconds. You're still incredibly close to him and you can tell he's tempted to kiss you again but he holds himself back.

"Text me?"

You nod, maybe a little too eagerly but you didn't care. The hot temperature of his lips left a lingering impression on you and you had a feeling you won't ever be able to rid yourself of the memory.

He holds up a hand before he jogs off down the pale path of the sidewalk, unintentionally leaving you with a mass of confused and excited thought and a small voice in the back of your brain that wouldn't shut up about Renjun and his recent odd behavior.

#nct renjun #renjun fluff #huang renjun fluff #renjun fanfic #huang renjun #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #renjun angst #nct dream reactions #nct dream angst #nct dream #NCT #lee jeno #nct jeno fluff

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Scrappers In Love

Cal Kestis x reader

warnings:

a/n: cal x scrapper!reader may be frequent bc i love it

prompt: y/n and cal were scrappers on bracca, cal let y/n get close and now they’re inseparable

Cal had arrived mysteriously on Bracca some years ago, it was a smart move keeping his head down and running with the crowd. But there was something about him that you were curious to find out. Just couldn’t pinpoint it.

You and Cal were both riggers, since he was around your age when he arrived, the foreman wanted you to train him, show him the ropes. You got to know him a little better in that time, he was...dare I say “cute?”

Later on, you had realized you liked Cal. You found his humor charming and his vague backstory intriguing. Plus, he looked amazing.

The first time either of you had addressed liking each other was after one of Cal’s near-death experiences. He scared the hell out of you that day. You remember it perfectly, you get tense just thinking about it.

“Hey, y/n! Foreman has a job for us, race you there!” He called over to you with a smirk, he was confident he’d win. You packed up your tools momentarily and played along.

“You’re on, Kestis!” You chased and maneuvered through junk piles and coworkers. “Sorry, sorry!” You excused yourself through the scrapped ship. You had your eyes on Cal, who was just a few paces ahead of you. He make a rookie mistake, though. Didn’t watch the trash. “Cal, look out!” You stopped dead in your tracks and watched it all play out. He stepped onto a lose sheet of metal and slipped over the edge. A few other scrappers took notice, but didn’t budge from their work stations.

You peered over the ledge and saw Cal grasping onto a loose cable that could snap any moment.

“I’m okay, but I could use a little help.” Cal struggled while you breathed a sigh of relief and reached your hand down for him. His hand wrapped around your wrist and you did the same before hoisting him back onto the platform, seating him at the edge, and swatting his arm.

“Don’t ever do that again! I thought that was the end of you.” Your voice was shaking and Cal genuinely felt bad, but he wasn’t great with feelings at this point in time.

“Aw, does someone care about me?” He mocked and threw his arm around your shoulders. You gave in and leaned your head onto his own.

“So what if I do?” You chuckled and took in a deep breath, trying to get your nerves in line.

“I don’t think I’d hate that.” Cal whispered into your ear, sending a chill down your spine. You closed your eyes and tried to drown out the sounds of machinery whirring and tools crashing. It was at this moment you realized you’ve never experienced a quiet day in your life.

“You two!” You heard a mechanical voice call and each of you whipped your heads around in unison to see the foreman. “Back to work!” He instructed. Cal and you stood up and walked to the location of the next job, no daredevil tricks this time. Except for one: Cal subtly reached for your hand and grabbed it tight. You tried to hold back a smile and looked at him through the corner of your eye. He faced front, looking...proud of himself.

You two successfully completed the job you were assigned, mild flirting may have occurred. You were honestly a bit surprised. You didn’t think Cal was the type of guy to put himself out there like that. But this was only the beginning, you two were young and in love, it made your coworkers sick. It took a while to suck it up and admit your feelings for one another, obviously you went first.

Shift was over, you were excited to get back to your place and rest up. The train ride was just like any other, you sat beside Cal and talked about your lives, you more than him. You’d only scratched the surface with his backstory, but you were willing to wait however long it took to learn it.

“Hey?” Cal tapped your shoulder when he noticed you were silent. “Something on your mind?”

“Uh,” you cleared your throat and sat up straight, “actually, yeah.” You admitted and it made Cal slightly uncomfortable. He wasn’t used to you looking so serious, you guys were notorious for goofing off. “Isn’t it obvious, Cal?”

“Um...” He gulped and began to tap his foot. He had an idea of what you were about to say, but he didn’t want to jump to conclusions and get his hopes up.

“Cal, I like you. I know you like me, too. I mean,” you gave him a half-chuckle, “it’s no secret.”

“Hey!” He whispered with a slight drop of his jaw.

“You know it’s true.” You shook your head and reached for his hand, which he gladly took. “So, Cal, are we gonna do anything about it, or are we gonna keep playing games?” You asked him with a hint of laughter to ease the tension. He took a look around the train and decided to go for it. His free hand cupped your cheek and brought you closer to his face until he connected his lips with yours. It all happened to fast, yet you wondered why you had waited so long for this moment. It felt like everyone was watching and you were alone with him all at the same time. The kiss should have lasted forever, but Cal lifted his lips away from yours and brought them to your ear.

“Could you stay at my place tonight?”

#cal kestis imagine #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis #star wars x y/n #star wars x reader #star wars #star wars imagine #star wars jedi fallen order #fallen order #jedi fallen order imagine #jedi fallen order x reader #jedi fallen order

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fizzypunks · 4 years

Text

Bad Timing

fandom: My Hero Academia/ Boku No Hero Academia word count: 5k rating: T (cannon description of violence) summary: Shouta has to handle the aftermath of the Nomu attack, and Hizashi has very bad (or good) timing

ship: earsermic

AO3

note: best viewed on Archive bc it keeps the formatting like itallics!

___

The day was finally at its end – the sun set in slats across the teachers lounge, and it was 3:55, when most people were leaving or gathering their lives up in a rush to get home. They’d all already left, urgently trying to beat traffic and make their way to whatever Friday plans they had in store.

Aizawa didn’t have Friday plans – instead of unceremoniously rushing to get home for the weekend, or go drinking to relieve stress, he was instead sitting on the couch. He didn’t have lessons or binders around him, having freed one hand to take out his phone and flip through his lessons that Hizashi kindly spent the time uploading for him.

The screen was bright and blaring and bled color into color into color – it was hard to look at for too long, but it was the only compromise he could make with his body when it came to improvised lesson plans. He’d type it up, with his one hand, a letter at a time, while his body healed enough for him to do better.

This is what it is, no use complaining. Just get it done.

The ache in his eyes he could deal with – he’d be disappointed in himself if he wasn’t used to it at his age, and he’d made peace with the eye strain and pain and dryness and anything else that was unpleasant about his quirk. His body, however, was a new story. It ached in a way he never experienced in his life, deep to the bone and then, maybe, even deeper – not a movement existed that didn’t somehow remind him of his body, his mortality, and it’s still a wonder he even survived.

He stopped asking questions like how a long time ago, though, and he didn’t dare start now. All it did was drive him into crazy circles of what ifs , dead ending in worse case scenarios that were a half inch away from coming to be…

This new burn, this new hurt – it conjured with it the same image – or maybe it was muscle memory – of painful blood splatter in his eyesight. With it came a reel of other horrifics images and feelings and sensations that might have been if…

It doesn’t matter. It’s irrelevant...

When he told his class that it didn’t matter that he was teaching, he meant it. It wasn’t what he wanted, but since when did he ever get what he wanted? It’s hero work, and educational duties don’t take a break just because he broke ; they never permitted a break because he wanted and wished.

He broke. Plain, simple – no explanation necessary. That’s a world he’s unfortunate enough to live in, so he grits his teeth and bears it.

It’s all Shouta can do. Bear it, heal as best he can, move on – think about it less and less until it’s just another frame on the wall of memories that like to bug him at night, those few rare ones that let him rest and dream.

Bear it. It didn’t kill you, so bear it.

Still, in the middle of the day, after teaching and improvising and making himself stand upright like he didn’t want to bury himself in sheets, it was a weird sensation. Living through something that almost took his life in the most violent, frightening way possible, all for his kids. He didn’t think this time around, with the mending and the processing and the eventual moving on, would feel so…

Off? Like a buzz on his skin, like time was shifted just a second ahead and he was playing catch up. He didn’t know the right words, couldn’t even explain to himself the things that he was feeling. He finally settled calling it weird. Whatever that meant.

He’d dealt with trauma before, too – but this breed of unease was new, even to him and his seasoned career.

The room was silent, but it felt louder than ever, and his screen had timed out when he realized he’d been staring dryly into it without doing anything.

He refreshed the screen with his thumb, lights bright and vivid again like a train at the end of a tunnel.

He’s stopped regretting his choices, he’s stopped wallowing because after two or three close calls with death, it gets a bit old – but god does he want to wallow now . Now that his body was broken and every movement felt like shattered glass in a windshield, disturbed with every movement but, at least, mercilessly, held together by…

What?

Sheer force of will – he was certain that’s what it was. It wasn’t desire or hope, it wasn’t any positive or cheerful motto – he had time for those later, for now…

He groaned, the weight of his eyes and body finally coaxing a response from him that wasn’t dead. Responses that were complete opposites from that which he always told his peers when they stopped him in the halls or at the end of lectures.

“I’m fine.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“It doesn’t matter, now if you wouldn’t mind, I have a class to teach.”

It’s placating, it’s time-buying – other heroes know the drill, so they don’t argue with him too much – they just insist, and hope, that he listens enough to at least rest . He always wanted to sleep, right? He had that stupid sleep disorder that always begs for him to rest his head for just a moment, so why not indulge it now?

He blinked against it – he really did need to sleep, but the screen in his shaking fingers showed that he had plans to finalize, and a fresh round of essay to grade that needed to be graded by the next day.

So much was behind as is – the last essay, the last score for ethics lecture to be dealt out, a new plan for the upcoming week that adjusts for his kids and the stress they just underwent – no, hero work doesn’t forgive very much, and Aizawa would never tell them that he was giving them a break, but he was going to do exactly that and take off a few quizzes to lighten the load…

Shouta leaned back against the sofa, and it wasn’t too soft and without structure, that it actually did do some good for him. He tilted his head back, too, and felt brief relief in the way his head didn’t feel like lobbing off like a hammer to the side of a statue’s temple.

He sighed, and leaned into it, the slightest bit of relief he was able to find.

The one think he was grateful for was that today was better than the beginning of the week. He had a long way to go, but thankfully some of the bandages could be taken off yesterday and today was his first day of being able to fully see – his face was freed, his shoulders lightened and only wrapped with a few white wraps – but it was still a struggle with his arms, his hands – the most damaged parts of his body that were trudging along…

This is unbearable .

But he will bear it.

But, right now, he will not bear it well. Like he broke under the hand of the Nomu, he was breaking again now and nothing was capable of stopping that.

He took in a deep breath, and held it just because it felt good to feel so full. He held it and waited.

This is going to be interesting.

His breath was waning, it’s time slowly slipping by, expiring.

This is going to hurt.

His lungs were wrapped around empty air.

Bad .

He still didn’t let go, even when it ached. He didn’t know if he wanted to, but the red-blackness of his eyelids and the sting in him was a comfortable pain he knew he could release, if he wanted.

Then, finally, he did want, and he let go, shoulders slumping with a harsh exhale.

He opened his eyes to a slit, and saw the sun spots on the ceiling had grown longer. Golden, mingling, patient – he’d stared at them so many times before, grown bored of them between grading and impatience, but now they were a comfort.

Familiar monotony and boredom. It seems that being bored was not always a bad thing, after all.

Early in his career, this might have killed his spirit. His spirit, however, was put back together so many times, and damaged so cruelly and spitefully, that he at least felt some sort of partial happiness knowing it wasn’t possible to batter his spirit any more. It was impossible.

It’s reached its limit years ago, what’s a new bruise on top of the rest?

A sound like shuffling, quiet but distinct, came from behind him – clothes rustling, a distinct stiff sound, all quietly entering from behind; and it was intentional movement, Shouta knew.

His instincts never dulled, even under mountains of bandages. “Hizashi. What are you still doing here?”

His laugh – the one he would never admit to loving so deeply– was soft behind him, closer this time. “Gee, how’d ya know it was me ?”

Shouta wished he could shrug, and instead returned his eyes back to their resting state and closed them lightly. “ Gee , how’d you learn to be quiet? Or, at least, try to be.”

Soft brushing, padding of feet, the ridiculous squeak of leather – Hizashi walked around the couch and when Shouta felt the dip in the seat beside him, a little too close to him, he chuckled. “It’s hard to be, man – you know I’m stuck with my costume! On the clock, I’m Present Mic!”

“I was talking about your mouth, but sure – that too.”

Another laugh came, and it was just as warm and full and bright. Shouta guarded his expression at the sound, because it was too pleasant and he hurt too much to not indulge the pleasant things whenever they did come.

But Mic isn’t Hizashi, and he’s more quiet now, between the two of them. Like he was in hours after sparring through out their friendships and careers, like lazy drawls in the morning when they passed each other, one waking up and one going to bed after a patrol. Quiet and in tune, in a way so few really understood.

That was the part of Hizashi that no one really gets to see – the way he knew silence and patience that would put his hero and radio personality at odds if the public really got to see it. He was calm and reserved and knew which silences and calms to lean into, which ones to sit with, which ones were the important ones...

He knew it right now, which was why he wasn’t on the limits of his own energy, like a battery fed into itself – a never ending feed that could go forever, Shouta thought time and time again. And his comfort in his quirk made it all too easy to emote and exaggerate and be too much for Shouta at times.

Fragile times, like when his mind was barely glued to the body that was just as fractured and splintering around the edges as his spirit.

“My, you think so lowly of me, Shouta.”

“Just being logical. You’re louder more often than not, after all,” he said, and they both knew it was a joking lie. It’s the closest Shouta gets to a joke, anyways.

The silence returned, and Shouta felt the burning questions in the warm body beside him – too close and yet, not really close enough – within arms length, but not within arms...

But Hizashi is never one for mincing words or running from questions. “How you doing, Shou?”

Shouta grunted. “Fine.”

“No, no, no, no – I’ve heard you say that all week and, well, it’s crazy to think you’d be okay! I want to know how you’re doing. ”

“Hizashi, do me a favor. Be polite and just take the answer.”

“No,” and the response was so fast, and sounded so bratty, Shouta was tempted to open his eyes and tilt his head to the right – to see if he was as close as he thought he was, if his hair was falling, if he’d taken off his orange tints and was looking at him with those stupid pup eyes.

He didn’t, though.

“What do you want me to say?” He finally said, quietly – maybe Hizashi wouldn’t hear him if he spoke quietly enough. “Obviously, I’m not fine.”

“I know that, and –”

“And it doesn’t matter. So, with that in mind,” and he did open his eyes this time – they stung fresh again, and he blinked, and he turned his head just slightly enough to change his eyes' direction. They stayed fixed in the ceiling, on the honey the sun was spilling, and he said, “I’m fine.”

“Come on, Shou... “

“It’s just…”

Hizashi sighed. “Could you… at least try to take time off or stop studies or something ? I can’t stand – “ and here he goes, he was too emotional –

So annoying.

His voice always shook when he was sad, when he was pretending like he wasn’t going to cry.

So sweet.

“ – I can’t stand this. ”

You and me both.

It never really did any good to cut off Hizashi, and Shouta hates doing it any way. So he didn’t even attempt it. He knew he needed to say what he was saying, to be heard and unburden himself of the fears living in him. He didn’t really have the chance before, and it wasn’t fair to take it from him now. Shouta didn’t have the energy to deny him any of that, anyway, so his eyes shifted to the crease in the ceiling, the border between it and the wall, and just listened.

“Shouta, you were almost killed – it’s… it’s so bad, this time – I’ve patched you up so many times and there wasn’t anything I could have ever done about this , and I want you to stop trying to ignore it. You don’t have to be a hero all the time.”

Shouta couldn’t help the scoff, and it stopped Hizashi for just a moment. “Of course I do.”

He was so bitter, he could taste it like the lingering flavor of cold coffee.

“You literally don’t –”

“Hizashi… I don’t have the energy for this.”

“That’s my point , Shouta! You can’t –”

“Can’t do my job? Give me a better argument next time, Hizashi.”

For whatever reason, that was enough to shut him up. Shouta didn’t want to, but his headache was too strong and his friend’s concern was too soft and he was just a broken vase – hairline cracks that got too big too fast and now shattered at the foundation – unable to hold onto any of it let any of it fill him, so why even try to touch it?

Hizashi does a lot of things loudly, even when he tries not to – it’s a side effect of being the Voice Hero, a natural course of events that would, rationally, lead him to be a vocal and expressive person. He’s sniffling and trying to stop it, trying to reel himself in, and Shouta sighs again, because the Voice Hero shouldn’t be trying to reel himself in at all.

This isn’t what he wanted.

He truthfully didn’t want to be in this position at all, but he’d remembered that he never wanted to spend his time wishing , so he didn’t wish – he couldn’t fix that, or the way Hizashi was hurting for him. But, he could fix…

Whatever this was.

“Hizashi.”

The sniffling stopped for a second, enough for it to be masked in a, “... what, Shouta?”

“Thank you.”

“Hmmph.”

Pouting?

“Don’t do that.”

“Hmmph!”

Pure annoyance drove him to open his eyes, and tilt his head, and level his eyes against his best friend because pouting was so fucking stupid. His eyes widened, though, when he finally met Hizashi’s gaze for the first time that day.

The first thing was that he wasn’t fully in his costume. His speakers were missing, and his hair was fallen to his shoulders in gell-stiff half-mast, finally succumbing to gravity in a way Shouta was certain was due to a hair brush and messily tucked into a hair tie. His tinted glasses were gone, leaving nothing between their eyes as they locked.

He’d hung up his hero costume for the day, and maybe it made sense that he wasn’t talking like Present Mic any more – not as loud, not as joking, just intentions and and heart.

He was half way between the two – between persona and him, and he looked so soft…

But his eyes, his eyes that stare so deeply and knew Shouta so intimately over the years their lives had been intertwined – they were wet and silently overflowing, and Shouta was certain the embarrassment of crying was what was so freely tinting his cheeks. It was a brush of pink over pale, high cheekbones, under crescent eyes that leaked streaks down to his jaw, his chin.

He, however, still had the mind to pout – not that Shouta had anything to say, not with the sudden, brand new pain of his heart aching at seeing his friend like this.

Shouta’s eyes softened, his annoyance gone like dye down a river.

Hizashi, however, wasn’t a coward, and held his gaze because he wanted Shouta to know what he was doing to him.

And all in the glowing sunlight…

Stop...

“Hizashi…”

“Don’t you dare! Don’t try to stop me or tell me I’m wrong or that I’m crying too much or whatever .”

“I wouldn’t dare,” he said, because he had the mind to say something and that was the brilliant thing he thought of. His shame was hot and fast and his eyes shifted to the side, just off from Hizashi in the best possible way he could manage to face the other. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

“Well, congrats, because I feel bad.”

Shouta knitted his brow in anger. “You’re an idiot.”

Don’t make me feel worse.

“What th–”

You always make me feel worse.

“If you’re spending all your tears on me, then yeah. You are.”

Because you’re so good.

Hizashi was crying and clearly upset – anyone could see that – and yet he still decided to furrow his eyebrows and look confused and stupefied all at once. “ Wind it back a few seconds for me, Shou.”

Shouta raised an eyebrow.

“Say that again,” he prompted, shifting to face Shouta even more completely. He leaned forward on his knees, on his elbows as he wiped away the tears.

“I said you’re an idiot.”

“You’re my best friend.”

Friend .

“And?”

“Not even you believe yourself, do you? I’ve seen you cry for me, too.”

Shouta turned his eyes down. That’s different . That’s more than he can ever really explain, and what’s even more, it’s more than he wants to explain. Those words turn into sentences that turn into feelings that can’t be taken back, and he’ll never make the mistake of falling down that slope. So he looked away, anything to feel less guilty and like shit, and shook his head.

Maybe some honesty wouldn’t hurt. “What would you have me do, then? I don’t have options.”

Hizashi saw him dodge the question, the scenario he’d painted – he scooted closer and Shouta felt too alive with envy, wishing there were no barriers, be them white casts and mental blocks, that kept him from bridging the last of that tiny gap.

“I’d have you sleep. I’d have you stay home. I’d have you trust that the faculty, your peers, your friends , could handle you being out for a bit.”

The logic is there…

Still… “No, I need to stay here. My students are back, and I owe them –”

“It would be a week. You’d have your casts off in a week –”

“Who told you that? If Recovery Girl –”

“It’s common knowledge, Shou, I just guessed . But that’s not the point – the point is that I’m right .”

Where does this conversation end? He doesn’t want to say it, he doesn’t want to open himself up again, and he doesn’t want Hizashi to be crying like this. Crying, because of him.

He sighs again. “It’s…”

He clears his throat again. “It’s easier this way. For me.”

Hizashi had already been close, but now he was right beside him, the knee he was folded over now just against his leg. Personal space had never really been a thing for him, and now proved to be no different. His big watery eyes stayed trained on his calculated, intentionally flat ones.

He’s also always been good at picking apart his words to find the realities beneath them. “Distractions, right?”

Shouta didn’t want to admit to it, but he nodded anyway, eyes falling until they settled on Hizashi’s clavicle. His exposed, open clavicle, and he yearns even more to be able to be closer than this. Take comfort in closeness that was 16 years in the making, but never really actualized. Never, really, fully realized , either...

“Yeah… distractions.”

“Say, if I wanted to come over and make dinner and show you baby animal photos, would you let me?”

Shouta blinked, and Hizashi smiled – he looked too pretty, glowing from his tears, and Shouta hates thinking that.

“Don–”

“They’re baby foxes .”

Shouta looked down, and grew pink – it’s pathetic how easily he could be bought, and he wasn’t ever really going to say no to time with his best friend. Even now, he’s always finding himself saying yes to the colorful, often too-loud man.

Hizashi seemed to realize that he’d won, the way his eyebrows stopped dipping, stopped taking such a sad shape. “At least let me do this, Shou – if you’re gonna bring your mummy self into school and yell at kids and threaten expulsion, then let me make stir fry and udon for you.”

Shouta smiled, small, hesitant, but not quite of his own intention; finally breaking – in a different way than he’s used to. “Fine. Just to be clear, it’s only because I want food.”

“ Suuure , that’s the reason.”

And before he could say anything back, Hizashi did that thing that makes his heart weak – the thing he always does when he’s leaning in like this, and it’s too emotional for his own comfort zone, and things are charged with a restless, aching energy. He reached out his left hand and rested it over Shouta’s open one. His phone was already falling from his bruised fingers, so he pushed it down to his lap and held onto the half of his hand that was exposed.

He wants to ask why he does it sometimes, but doesn’t think that now is the time to ask it. Time, place, his broken body, everything was wrong – so he just let himself enjoy the affection, while he can bask in it with legitimate cause.

Then Hizashi had to ruin it. He grinned, a little too proud. “Nervous?”

Shouta tensed, and his body yelled at the pressure in his arms, in his torso. “Excuse me?”

Hizashi laughed a bit, and he was a little flush – from the crying. “You’re a biiiiiit pink. Like, blushing. Like, actually, you’re very –”

“Shut up.”

“You act like any teensy-tiny bit of affection is like poison, Shou – it’s okay if you–”

“I take it back, actually, you can’t come over.”

“Awwww, come on, I just –”

“I mean it, I’ll order from the corner market.”

“Now that you told me how you’ve been feeding yourself, I’m definitely coming over. God, I swear, you should know how to take care of yourself by now, it’s like you hate trying to –”

“Hizashi –”

He stood, really fast, smiling dumb and bright as he stood infront of Shouta. “Now come on! Up! Let’s go to your apartment!”

He offered a hand, but Shouta shook his head. “I can get up fine –”

Hizashi leaned forward, and it was an awkward placement, the way he was balanced, but he took the phone from his lap and tucked it into his pocket before his hand rested just on the side of Shouta’s shoulder. He urged with his eyes as much as with the slight tug at his waist. “Come on!”

Shouta looked down and nodded, a feeling of warmth overcoming him yet again. He heard moreso than saw Hizashi smile, felt him beaming at him at letting him help him up, and then the hand on his shoulder shifted, to the spot of his ribs just above the bandaging.

“Can I pull here?”

“Yeah…”

And he did and it really fucking hurt, little splinters under his skin all over again. He pulled air sharply between his teeth, and let Hizashi hook his elbow around him to stop the recoil.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“It’s –” Deep breath, relax eyes – bear it . “It’s fine.”

It’s not fine, but it’s bearable, so he releases some of the tension he know is sewn into his arms. He opens his eyes, and Hizashi is so close it’s almost startling. His arm still was around him, under his arm, like a brace. Warm, pleasant pressure, pleasant heat...

“I’m fine,” he breathes again, because for once, Hizashi doesn’t have anything to say. He just stares.

“Hey… um…”

“Hizashi…?”

When Hizashi spoke it was quiet, in a way that betrayed his confident words. “Shou… this is not good timing, but…”

This time it was Shouta’s turn for his voice to stop working, and he didn’t have anything to say – all too aware of the soft sound of breathing between them, the way his eyes were overwhelming like never before.

He had nothing to counter him or force him back or make him leave. He just waited, eyes at half mast because that was the only way he could handle Hizashi looking at him like that . Like he always did, with care and adoration, and it just made him sick.

“I almost lost you, and I don’t want to regret not kissing you any more… for years, Shouta, years .”

Shouta deserved a medal for surviving the whiplash of their conversation, from the joking to the serious to the trivial to the important… he couldn’t move much, but he wasn’t sure if that was his body or his anxious nerves speaking, so he just looked down at his lips.

“Tell me it’s okay,” Hizashi said, close but far enough for comfort. Far enough for respect , for hurting and aching Shouta to say yes or no and only then either bridge the gap or depart. His hand was delicate on his side and his finger tips were light, brushing, too much. “Tell me if you want…”

The timing was so awful – Shouta just wanted to move, to take him in right there, to stop him from talking and pull him into himself so harshly and violently that they might become one. Close was never close enough…

“I…”

Hizashi’s free hand came up to his cheek, holding him there gently. His thumb brushed under his scar, over the hot skin that he was certain was an embarrassing shade of pink…

Don’t fuck with me.

“Tell me, Shou…”

He was wiping away a tear, and Shou crumbled at the touch. “Y– yes.”

A sharp breath, then again, louder, stronger, “ Yes. Yes, Hizashi–”

Hizashi wasted no time, and pressed himself closer, and Shouta wasn’t surprised to taste salt on his lips because he’d spent too much time crying, too.

“I’m – not going to change –” Shouta said between breath and kiss, shaking from the anger of just wanting to hold Hizashi and being un able to. “I’m – still a hero – I’m still –”

– Kiss –

“ – still going to work, and – get hurt – and –”

Hizashi retreated, lips hovering for just a moment. “I know, I know –”

Shouta’s breath is heavy, laden with desires and 15 year old feelings and guilt, and doesn’t know where this is supposed to go. He’ll hurt Hizashi like this, he just knows he will – is it wise to let him do this, knowing what, inevitably, is going to happen. He huffs out his nose, trying to find a way to be delicate.

He’s never known how to be delicate, and he just wishes that right now, he could somehow discover the secrets to not breaking his friend’s hearts. “I’m – is this a good idea?”

“Of course –”

“No, I mean it – is it rational , when I’m just – just –”

Hizashi’s hands are at work again, one holding him up, one wiping away tears from a scar.

“I’ll hurt you – I’ll hurt you and it’s inevitable and I can’t –”

“ Shouta ,” and his voice was loud, and commanding, and energized – his quirk at its lowest state.

It worked though – Shouta had no idea how worked up he’d become, how his weaknesses were seeping through like never before; he was broken in so many ways right now and they were all on display, so humiliatingly on display, that he couldn’t even keep himself calm.

Hizashi kissed him again, slower this time because he, shockingly, knew how to slow down. How to be rational when others weren’t.

His lips moved to the side of his mouth, then to his cheek, to his ear – “How long, Shouta?”

“What – do you mean?”

“It’s been fifteen years for me… fifteen years. I was in school looking at you. I was at graduation, looking at you. I shared our first apartment, and was looking at you. I’ve been teaching – and I’ve been looking at you…”

How romantic…

“How long has it been?” He said.

It was too good to be true. It was too sad to be true. They’d put this off for so long, and it took a violent, bloody incident to bring Hizashi to him like this. He’d had his chances too, but he’d always shied away from them because it wasn’t fair.

He’d die a hero one day, and Hizashi didn’t deserve that .

Shouta leaned into the feeling of Hizashi’s lips against his cheek, his ear, and told him what he’d never spoken out loud before. “I… fifteen years. Fifteen years, Hizashi…”

“ God,” and he’s crying now.

Shouta doesn’t want to admit to the few stray tears decorating his eyelashes like spiders on webs, so he doesn’t – he just leans into the soft, awkward embrace from his best friend, and lets him cry because they’ve both been idiots.

The sunlight was long against the walls, and the halls of U.A were quiet, and Shouta, for all the breaking he’s done, has finally found a way to put some of the pieces back together.

#my fic #bnha fic #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #aizawa #hizashi #erasermic #long post #fic length: medium #oneshot

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misfitjohnnys · 5 years

Text

unintentional; trying to hold it in but the pieces are falling

You’ve worked hard for everything you’ve gotten and Mark Lee is a soft twist in your busy life, but you know hiding part of yourself eventually always bites anyone in the ass.

Word count: 21k - part 3/5

Reader x Mark Lee

(M)

masterlist // warnings

Mark had arranged a special trip to make sure he dropped you off at the airport and you got on the plane safe and sound. You could see the sadness in his face. You wished you could stay with him longer, but maybe it was time to jump back to reality. That was what vacation was, right?

a/n: this chapter contains smut

You sighed and thumbed over his hand in yours as you made your way to the airport. You knew how dangerous it was for him to be in public like that with you, especially on the day of a show in the city they were playing in. He brought his mask and hoodie specifically for him to be able to walk you through to check in. It felt nice; him making sure he was there to check up on you. He didn’t have to, but you could tell how much he wanted to even at risk of his own safety.

You dreaded getting out of the car when you pulled into the parking spot, sitting in your seat and wishing you were glued there. His driver was extremely understanding thankfully, because you felt like you sat there forever. You looked over at Mark, still holding his hand and seeing the soft, sad smile on his face. “I’m really gonna miss you.” You smiled back at him, sighing again and you wanted to kiss him, so you did. It was probably wrong and extremely troublesome if anyone saw you, but you hoped the black tinted windows were enough to hide it.

His mouth felt warm, but he was tense. You let his hand go and reached up to cup his cheeks and relax him. His hands went down to your waist, holding you for what felt like it would be the last time. You thought for a moment, hoping to relax him, you wanted to say something to make him feel at least a little better. You pulled away to look at him, seeing the melancholy in his eyes.

“I’m gonna come visit you, okay? I promise. Maybe after all this, after the funeral and everything is over.” It wasn’t entirely a lie and it seemed to calm his nerves, smile peeking through. Your heart was wrenched at the thought of leaving. It was the last thing you wanted to do, but you knew you had to.

“Promise?” You could tell he had more to say, but he couldn’t. Mark was too sweet and understanding to ask you to stay, you knew that. You nodded, seeing his grin grow wider. You were thankful he didn’t seem like he was going to cry, it felt too early for that and you were begging yourself not to get worked up enough for tears, you couldn’t let that happen. The last week had been like a dream you didn’t want to wake up from. The outside world didn’t exist for a while, but you knew it eventually had to end. You walked hand in hand through the airport, Mark’s mask on his face and a hat on to cover himself, but it still made you nervous in case he would get caught. He rolled your bags and you kept your personal bag on your shoulder with your wallet inside. You’d hardly even used it the last few days, letting the time pass. You spent most of your money on flights and rides online anyway, so checking your wallet wasn’t the biggest priority.

Mark brought your bag up to the check in and you could see his frown, picking it up with less effort than it took you, which made you giggle just a little bit. He was such a gentleman and that made you happy. You showed the woman at the counter your ticket and it almost didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel like you were about to leave him, and you wished so desperately that you didn’t have to. You walked with him again holding hands, making your way to the final stop to be inside the airport where you couldn’t exit again, wanting to savor your last few seconds with Mark in a tight hug, his arms around your waist and his face nested in the crook of your neck. You sighed softly, kissing his ear because it was the closest piece of skin in view. You were surprised to see how empty the corridor was, looking around and feeling like he was safe enough at the moment. It was incredibly not busy, so you pulled his face up, smiling at him and seeing his eyes crinkle.

He was a little shocked when you pulled his mask down to his chin, leaning in for just another soft kiss, plush pouty lips against yours as if it were the last goodbye. You hoped it wasn’t, you had to keep positive.

You hugged once more, tight arms around tense bodies, but it felt good nonetheless and tearing away felt like hell. You waved him off and stepped forward into the line, feeling his eyes on you and a pout staying on his face before he hid it with a mask. Thankfully nobody was around to see, you really hoped he was in the clear on that front.

You glanced back through the windows as you walked through the doors, watching Mark walk away sadly as you reached into your bag to grab your wallet and present your ID at the counter. You went through it, furrowing your brows when you saw that something was missing, but you couldn’t quite place it. It looked just slightly emptier, shaking it off and pulling your ID out. You presented it and made your way through to your gates and bag checks. You wished Mark was with you, but you’d been in the airport five times so far in the last week alone, so you could easily do that, but you wished you had his company again and it hurt just a little to know that you didn’t know when you’d have it again.

You decided to clean out your bag after it all got emptied in the check. You had so many unnecessary things over the last few months in it and it never occurred to you to clean it. Hopefully it would distract your mind. You emptied your bag, noticing that the NCT keychain you were used to having on your keys was gone. You remembered ripping it off right after the first night with Mark, knowing it would add to the suspicion, but you wished you had it to remind yourself of him again. You remembered tossing it in your suitcase, but didn’t remember seeing it as you packed up. It was odd and even though you ended up breaking it, you weren’t quite ready to part your ways with it yet.

You finished pulling the trash from your bag and neatly reorganized it, waiting for the plane to board when you got a text.

I miss you already :( I really hope I get to see you again

Your heart ached, sighing and figuring out what you should say to him. You hated being away from him and it had just been a few minutes. You were shocked to even see a text that soon, but it felt nice, nonetheless.

I miss you too, i really want to plan something asap bc I had so much fun, we should definitely hang out again before you leave okay??

He took a little while to respond and it seemed slightly dry. You hoped he was okay and part of you felt like your confidence was a little too high in that moment. He was already missing you and you felt important still. You hoped it would stay like that and you’d make a huge effort to make sure it did. You didn’t want to lose contact with him, but you’d never been in the position before. Normally you were the one who let friendships and relationships die, but you didn’t want to ruin this one, even if it wasn’t serious enough yet.

I really hope you can

You sighed, gripping your phone tightly in your hand. It felt like all you had left of Mark. You thought up a response, quickly typing it out when you heard that your plane was boarding.

Don’t forget about me, okay?

You bit your lip, walking up to the podium to present your ticket and get onboard. You felt your phone vibrate as you walked through, smiling when you saw who it was. You answered the phone, grinning and letting your phone open up a FaceTime. On the screen you saw Taemin, Ten, Lucas, and Mark grinning into the camera. Your heart was swollen, and you tried your best to make your way to your seat. “Hold on guys, I’m gonna get my headphones really quick!” You sat down, pulling your headphones out as you watched Lucas out of the corner of your eyes making faces at himself in the phone’s camera.

“We’re gonna miss you!” Lucas told you, giggling. You hadn’t gotten the proper time to say goodbye that morning, spending all your time with Mark made you kind of forget about it. You felt a little bad. You got your headphones in, hiding your phone screen and grinning into the camera.

“I’m gonna miss you all so much!” You reminded them, giggling as you saw Ten rip the phone out of his hands. “I had such a good time with you guys, I’m so glad I met you!”

“Okay, so, you live in LA right?” Ten asked you, bright grin shining on screen.

“Mm, yeah!” You nodded, waiting for what he was going to say. He always had something funny to add to a conversation, you loved hearing him speak.

“Well, you know, we have two shows in California, you could meet up with us and Mark could get laid again and-“ Your cheeks heated up and you saw Mark grab the phone, eyes wide and nervously smiling into it as he looked at you.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” You could hear Ten laughing, Taemin joining him loudly as Mark tried to regain his composure. “They wanted to tell you goodbye.”

“Bye bye!” You heard Taemin yell, Mark smiling and pointing the camera toward him, who was waving excitedly at you. “I’ll miss you!” Taemin made your heart soft. He was one of the most fun people you’d met yet in your celebrity life and you hoped you could definitely hang out with him again, but from what you knew America wasn’t a place he was often. It made you a little sad. You had to make plans to see them, smiling at yourself and sighing when you saw how happy they were, so excited to have made a friend. You were glad you’d met them, even if only for a brief period of time, they helped you vacation more than anyone else ever had. They felt like friends more than yours even had and it was an overwhelmingly warm feeling in your heart. You hoped you’d stay close and continue your friendship, even from so far away. Maybe you’d visit them in Korea, you weren’t sure, but you’d hoped. You knew Ten was mostly promoting in China and with the information you knew, you hoped he and Taemin would continue their happy relationship. You knew so much about them just in such a short period of time. It was nice.

“Babe?” You heard Mark call for your attention, pulling you out of your own thoughts. The pet name rung in your ears so nicely.

“Hm?” You smiled, giggling at his soft cheeks and smile. He was beautiful, such a wonderful face to see on someone who seemed to care about you so deeply so quickly.

“Be safe, okay?” Your heart felt like it would burst, making you slightly teary eyed. “Talk to me if you need anyone, okay? Even if you have to call me at the funeral, I’ll be here for you.” He made your head turn to mush, wishing you could embrace him again, feel his warmth cradling you through hard times. You nodded, grinning so wide it hurt.

“Thank you.” You nodded, sighing and just seeing his content face, sitting calmly in his hotel room. You had a feeling that it wouldn’t be the end in that moment.

“I’ll be here for you, okay?” You nodded in assurance, seeing his soft shy smile appear once again when the room quieted down. You heard the flight attendants start to speak, pulling you out of your conversation and you frowned just a little knowing you had to hang up. “About to take off?” He asked, nerves pulling on his face again and you nodded. “Okay, call me when you land.”

“Good luck with your show tonight, alright?” You nodded once more, telling him your final goodbye before you had to turn your phone on airplane mode, sighing as you hung up and set it down. You hoped to take a nap through your flight. It was a longer flight than the others because of the distance and it made you sad not to be able to talk to Mark, but you’d be in touch with him in just a few hours so you were thankful.

The plane ride pulled anxiety out of you, making you take one of your Xanax for a nap. Thankfully it worked, cradled up with your phone in hand for comfort and an airplane blanket. Your headphones were stuffed in your ears, playing music to ease you into sleep, nodding off easily after takeoff.

It was easy after that, waking up when the turbulence got high and pulled you from your dreams. You were landing soon and the first thing you wanted to do was text Mark, waiting for the plane to touch down and allow it. You were quick to get texts on the way out, seeing multiple messages from Irene, Mark and three unrecognized numbers. You grinned, knowing exactly who they were.

So the funeral is in two days, I’ve rearranged some appointments for outfits and got a headstart on your speech. Interviews for new management are being arranged as we speak. Text me when you land down and I’ll send a car. See you soon. Good luck! Everyone misses you!

You were sure everyone at work was kind of glad to have a break from you. Even if they did enjoy you as their boss, you weren’t going to deny being high strung and a bit overwhelming at your job. Things seemed to have gone smoothly and without many issues, thankfully from Irene’s participation and eye for knowing exactly what you needed to happen. She always made sure things went well, and you almost felt bad for ditching her, but she liked the fact that you were having a good enough time to be distracted from work for so much longer than intended. She didn’t know exactly what had even gone on and you were almost scared to tell her, but you’d handle that in person. You typed a quick message to her as you made your way into the airport to go back home. It felt like you’d been away for months, but hopefully you’d enjoy being back at least just a little bit. The moment was bittersweet.

Hi honey, it’s Ten! Good luck with everything sweetie, we’re here for you <3

We wish you the best and I hope to see your face again! Come jopping with us soon ;) -TAEMIN

It’s Lucas!!! You made this tour a lot of fun so far! Thank you!!!❤️~

Mark’s texts made your heart race, sighing and feeling stars in your eyes as you read all four of them. It made you happier than it should have to see a quadruple text.

Hey how’s everything?? I’m worried sick about you i hope you’re okay!!

I hope you’re not too busy to talk to me when you get back home but i totally understand if you are??

i don’t wanna seem crazy i promise lmao but i want you know we’re here for you!

aaaahhh!! sorry for texting so much i swear I’m not normally like this !!!

You had your own fair share of obsessively texting people, so it didn’t bother you even a little bit. He made you feel so special and you wished you had more time with him. You immediately called him, shocked to speak with him for an hour, giving him live updates on everything as he got ready for the show, just enjoying hearing each other’s voices even if the conversations were filled with nothing important. You liked him way more than you probably should.

The days following were heavy, filled with grief and much more paperwork and filling in at work than you thought in a time of heartache. You weren’t used to texting much anymore, trying to keep yourself composed in the crisis of the day, but you were thankful when the funeral was over. You spent almost every second of your free time keeping up with Mark, just excited to see exactly what he was up to, even catching up on his lives and seeing him text you back so quickly. The boys still seemed happy and that’s what made you a little more grounded. You’d thankfully found a replacement and it hurt your heart, but you did what you had to do. You made sure to cut checks to family members of the deceased, hoping to keep them afloat a little better. You always did what was best for your restaurant and you could tell it was what kept you so successful.

The funeral was beautiful, a perfect way to commemorate Hannah’s hard work and appreciate her as a person, giving your condolences to the family members and made sure to memorialize her in the best way possible. It ached your heart that you didn’t have Mark with you, repeatedly reminding him that you wished he were there, and he had no hesitation telling you how much he wished he were with you. It made it all a bit easier. The boys texting you made it easier too. They’d send a couple texts every few days, and even though they weren’t as thorough as Mark, you still felt important to them.

Days went by and turned to weeks, getting back into routine and making sure all the locations were still perfectly good to go. It was more work than you thought it would be, but you managed; making sure everyone was back on track and you were shocked by how much time had passed by. You were easily able to keep up with Mark and the rest of SuperM through social media, but you wished you were hands-on with them again, hanging out when you saw pictures of them out and about. It warmed your heart to see them having fun, but it didn’t stop you from wishing you were there with them as well. You almost cringed at the fact that you and Mark FaceTimed almost every night before bed, but it made you feel warm in the moment. He made you so happy and you were falling for him way faster than you ever thought you should. It didn’t take much with him and you could tell he felt the same way, setting yourself up for something that almost felt forbidden, but you didn’t care. He distracted you from the hard times at work and from the reality of business meetings and he was a very easy escape. You felt like you were his too.

It came up on two nights before the last tour date of the year, sighing in bed after a stressful day of work and you wanted more than anything to be with him. You bit your lip, pressing the call button and being sure to get him on the line. He answered with a bright smile, as always. “Hey babe.” You had to stifle a giggle, sighing happily as you got ready for bed, in your pyjamas and setting your phone on the bathroom counter to do your nightly skincare.

“Hey!” You grinned, looking over at him as you grabbed your facial soap, rubbing it into your skin. “How are you feeling now that the tour is almost over?” You asked, smiling happily and seeing him sigh in content.

“It’s uh, a little sad.” He shrugged, pushing his black hair out of his face. He always looked so good when his forehead was out, you noted. “I don’t want it to end, you know? I really like touring in America, it feels almost like I’m home, you know?” He pouted softly, sighing as he laid his head into his pillow, fingers running through his hair again. You’d noticed he did that a lot on FaceTime. He was a fidgeter, he liked to have something to do. “I wish you were here.” He reminded you. You hadn’t heard him say that in a few days, so it was a nice surprise. It really felt like you were in a long distance relationship, nagging at your heart because it had only been a little over a month and you wished so desperately that you could’ve gone through it all with him, but things happen for a reason, or so you hoped.

“You’ll be back though!” You reminded him, grinning and trying your best to stay positive. You wished you could’ve seen him before that leg of the tour ended and it was nagging at you that you should’ve visited again, but the time never came up and it made you sadder than anything. The first leg of the tour flew by much faster than you thought possible. You didn’t have time to see him, but you hoped that even if you couldn’t see him before he left, it wouldn’t be long before he was in California and you’d be in his arms at least once again. Thankfully NCT had been doing a lot of American visits, so you’d have your time again, you hoped.

“Yeah.” He nodded. He was silent for a moment and you could tell he was thinking, trying to find his words. You let him take his time, but his silence was more than deafening.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, stopping after you finally wiped your face off, biting your lip and worried about him. “Is everything okay?”

“Well,” Mark sighed, a small smile playing on his face. “I actually.. Was going to see if I could come see you.” You were shocked a little, eyebrows raised and slightly narrowed in concern. You swallowed, not even sure how to react to his confession. Your silence made him nervous, speaking up once again. “I mean, uh, the last concert is the day after tomorrow, so, um, I might have some time to visit because I, uh, have to be in Spain a couple days after, but I’ll be back in New York for the Macy’s Day Parade,” He grinned, knowing he was telling you information that he wasn’t allowed to tell you. It made you feel good that he trusted you, pulling your lips into a smile in the disbelief of him wanting to come to you, but you held back your excitement even though the words were ringing in your ears. “So I’ve got a couple days to hang out.”

“You sure you want to visit me in the midst of all that?” You giggled, resting your elbows on the counter to get closer to the camera. You could see the faint blush on his cheeks as he nodded. You were more than shocked that he was actually planning a trip for you even when he was so busy. You didn’t know what to say.

“Only if you, um, think I can.” He wanted to work around your schedule, and it was thoughtful, so, of course, without even thinking too hard, you gave him an answer.

“Absolutely.” You nodded, giggling even harder with excitement. Even if you didn’t have the time, you would make time around him because your happiness mattered just as much as your success, and Mark had been your main source of happiness for the last few weeks. You’d mostly kept to yourself aside from him and you were suffering just a little bit from the vacation still, but you didn’t at all regret going, seeing his face perk up and his eyes disappear into a smile. He was more than excited, you could tell.

“You’re deadass?” He asked, grinning even harder. You didn’t hear him swear as much anymore, so it was pleasant to hear. You hardly ever heard anyone but Taemin curse so it felt even more real to hear him say those words. You wouldn’t let him know that though.

“Uh, duh!” You nodded again, giggling even more and feeling butterflies in your stomach at the thought of him visiting again. This time it would be in your city. It was nice to have the upper hand again and you were thinking about all you could do together. You wanted him to visit at least one of the stores you owned, so that was exciting, but you also wanted to show him the small spots in LA that you’d found. It wasn’t your favorite city, but it was a great place to make a living and you’d done it, finding comfort in little hideouts for enjoyment that you definitely wanted to share with him. He was just as important to you even if things had moved so fast, you trusted him to come into your personal space and you could tell he appreciated that.

“Buy your plane ticket and I’ll pick you up from the airport!” You told him excitedly, returning to the mirror to put your moisturizer and facial creams on. You had a hard time containing breakouts with the stress, especially from smoking, but you worked around it. Mark didn’t seem to mind.

“You’d do that?” Mark asked excitedly, grinning and pumped that he’d see you even sooner than he thought.

“Yeah, I get to drive you around now, how’s that feel?” You joked, seeing his eyebrow crook and seeing a smirk on his face.

“That’s hot, yeah.” You blushed, shaking your head at his stupid comment. “Got an independent one to drive me around. Got me a little badass!” He smirked playfully, raising a brow.

“Shut up.” You laughed, hearing him join you. He took a big sigh, feeling your own heart beat fast in your chest as you saw him relax, making your own way to bed. You bit your lip, sitting down on your own bed. You thought for a moment, wondering where exactly he planned to stay. You hoped it was with you, so you had to ask. “Hey, so,” You started, searching for your words. “Are you wanting to like, stay at my house?” You asked, biting at your lip again out of nervousness and you saw him flush a little, nerves returning. You’d never had anyone romantically interested in you stay at your place, so it was only normal to be scared, but you had a feeling it would be fine with Mark. You moved fast anyway in your friendship, so you thought it wouldn’t be a problem, but it still worried you.

“I mean, like,” He cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair again. He was nervous that you asked that way and you almost regretted it until he spoke up. “I won’t if you don’t want me to, but, uh, that’s what I was thinking.” You grinned again, feeling a slight tug at your stomach as you looked around your room to see a little bit of kpop paraphernalia. You’d have to make a note to put all of that away in the next two days. “Un-unless you don’t want me to!” He started, beginning to ramble on. “I mean I can find a place to stay, I don’t think it would be a problem, I mean, I could get a hotel room and you could come stay there with me so we could see each other because I don’t really know your living situation but-“ You cut him off with a laugh.

“No, you’re staying here.” You told him, nodding and biting your lip again. “You can sleep in my bed,” You saw him relax, sighing happily. You hadn’t had anyone in your bed in quite a while and they had all been friends or Irene, so it almost scared you. “I don’t bite.” You were glad you didn’t have a roommate in the time being.

“I mean,” Mark started, making you roll your eyes.

“Okay I might bite sometimes, but only if it’s wanted.” You joked playfully. He laughed in return, blush plastering itself across his face through the screen. Mark had a way of making your stomach flutter.

“That’s kinda, uh, dirty.” He teased and you weren’t sure you wanted to get into that conversation with him, the arousal only slightly making its way down to your core. It could wait, you wanted to wait for Mark, and you hoped it would come again that you’d share another intimate moment. Sex with Mark was incomparable, but he didn’t need to know that over FaceTime.

“Shut up.” You laughed, shaking your head. “If you’re coming then I need to get some rest to get my shit together tomorrow.” You both laughed again, sighing into the pillow underneath you. You could tell he was getting ready for bed too and it was weird to think that he was only across the country and it was much later for him, but you loved that you were on the same sleep schedule for now, it didn’t matter where you were.

“Yeah, I probably need to turn in too.” He had a dopey smile played on his face and you admired it, seeing him relax into the pillows and you hoped nobody was around to see how whipped you were for him. It was embarrassing to think, but you knew it would be fine. Everyone else was probably sleeping already.

“I guess we should say goodnight then?” You said softly, seeing his eyelids get a little heavy. He was tired, but he had a hard time sleeping if he didn’t talk to you before bed. That was sweet.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I’ll see you in two days, okay?” He asked, perking up for just a moment, voice slightly groggy. It was hot for him, but maybe you were just thinking about the fact that you could be with him again. It made you a little more excited than it should’ve even if it wasn’t just about sex. Being with Mark was the fun part; the intimacy was an added bonus.

“Okay.” You nodded, giggling happily as you sighed into bed, you felt warm, cozy and excited to see the boy you couldn’t yet call your boyfriend, but it meant the world that he was coming over. You had to get the place ready for the visit, but that was the least of your worries. You hoped he’d still like you if he saw you in your normal setting, it didn’t feel unlikely that he wouldn’t; you’d be a little more stressed but also more comfortable, so maybe it would work itself out. “Goodnight then, yeah.” You smiled through your thoughts.

“Mm, I miss you.” He sighed, eyes dreamy and heavy with sleep. You heart felt like it would beat out of your chest.

“I miss you too.” You spoke softly, looking into the camera to get the same dopey smile from him.

“Goodnight, baby.” He told you, the pet name the perfect end to your night before hanging up with the biggest grin of your life. He made you happy, almost too happy. You clutched your phone to your chest after he hung up, finally relaxing into the pillows. The sooner you could rest, the sooner you could prepare to see Mark. It made the night go a bit more smoothly. Sleeping was easier that night than it had been since you were away from each other and for that, you were more than thankful.

You’d woken up exactly 8 hours later, more rested than you could ever remember feeling, even without an alarm. You’d luckily given yourself night shifts two days in a row, so the morning was your time to get the place ready. Your heart rate spiked every time you remembered that you hadn’t ever been in a position that you’d had someone you were romantically interested in at your house, so the was new and uncharted territory scared you, more excited than you expected as you boxed up your more obvious merchandise and tried to still make your home feel lived-in. The place looked almost barren without the decorations and you realized you were probably in over your head for still trying to hide part of you.

It was mostly your albums going into the extra bedroom. You figured leaving a poster and a few knick-knacks on your shelves wouldn’t hurt. They were low-key enough to not seem suspicious and part of you felt like maybe it was time to confess to Mark, but you weren’t going to risk it beforehand because you wanted him to come over so badly. You wouldn’t let anything ruin that. He bought himself a flight for right after checkout the day after the concert, so you’d be picking him up right after your shift and with the time zone difference, it worked out perfectly.

You missed him more than you thought imaginable, dusting around the place and catching the little spots your housekeeper managed to miss as you rearranged a little furniture to make the space more movable. To be honest, you knew your apartment was in great condition, but you had a lot of nervous energy and cleaning seemed like the best way to get it out in a positive way.

You pulled out your best candles and put the rest of your casual decorations you’d been meaning to hang on the walls, setting them up to where they looked perfect. You stepped back to admire your work, confident enough in your place to where Mark would enjoy it. You were lucky, the place was beautiful when you bought it, so you never were ashamed of bringing people over, but Mark made you a little more nervous than others for obvious reasons. You hoped it was perfect for him.

As you made your way to work, the smiles wouldn’t leave your face. The sun was shining bright in the afternoon and hot even with the crisp Los Angeles air around you and you were thankful because Mark said that the weather had been terrible each place they’d gone on tour so far, you were glad to give him just a bit of relief. The sun beamed down on you through the windows as you smoked down a cigarette on your room’s balcony. You’d smoked so much less than usual lately and the pain of losing a friend had subsided. You were starting to feel like yourself again and were hopefully on your way to making your habit less intense. As you made your way to work, you thought about Mark and what it was going to be like to hold his hand as you drove, and it made you grin stupidly. You sighed, turning the radio up and enjoying the breeze through the windows because in a little over 24 hours, you’d be seeing Mark’s bright and smiling face. It made the separation from him so much more worth it.

Two shifts away from him landing down. The first one was a breeze with what felt like no issues whatsoever, immediately going home to cuddle in your bed and sleep only one last time alone before Mark was there. Dipping your fingers into the waistband of your pyjama pants, you thought about Mark and it almost felt wrong, but you liked the time for yourself and the thoughts about him were too enticing to ignore and the nerves of him visiting would settle with the assistance. You were looking way too forward to the visit to say you weren’t even dating, but you were hopeful either way.

You woke up the next day with extreme butterflies in your stomach. You wore a nice outfit to work and spent extra time on your face just in case things got a little too jumbled together in your schedule. You’d gotten up earlier than you should have, preparing the house just a bit more and finishing up your laundry. Things had to be perfect and your nerves were intense, but not negative. Much less scary than when you left to see the first concert. It felt like it had been ages since it all started, reminding yourself that the friendship and love interest was all still relatively new, so you couldn’t jinx it just yet. Work was a breeze, easily filling the place with full bellies and a light enjoyment all around the customer tables. Maybe it was just the excitement of what was to come after you got off. Your life was going perfect, better than you ever thought it could as of late.

You were a little too excited to clock out, quickly shutting the doors and helping to get everyone out and cleaned as soon as possible. Mark texted you a few hours prior that he was getting on the plane and he would be landing sometime soon. You excitedly helped bus the rest of the tables and got dishes done, making a smooth closing easy. You were mopping the last floor when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket again, grinning when you saw Mark’s text.

I’m here!! we just touched down so I’ll be waiting for you in a little bit!!

You quickly locked the doors after made sure that everyone clocked out and was ready to leave. You went outside, jogging excitedly to your Mustang and hopped in, nerves shaking you up only slightly as you started it up. You’d get to the airport just in time to pick Mark up after he left the plane and got his bags. You couldn’t stop the smile on your face as you made your way there, excitedly running inside after parking.

You waited inside on a bench for a couple minutes and felt a soft tap on the shoulder, sweet laughter filled your ears as you were pulled into a sweet embrace, Mark’s face nuzzled into your neck and his soft breaths made you feel dizzy. You couldn’t believe he was in your arms again and it almost felt like you were meeting for the first time again. You held him tight, not wanting to ever let go and let the fantasy end. It still didn’t feel quite real. You giggled, pulling away slightly to get a glance at him, but you were met with a masked face with a hat on to cover him, which you definitely understood the reasoning to, but you wanted to quickly get somewhere more private to greet him in a way you felt was proper. You tugged his arm along and pulled him with you, his free hand dragging his luggage as you made your way down the escalators out to the car. The airport was loud, so it was hard to talk to Mark anyway, but you could feel his eyes boring holes into your head, glancing back and each time seeing his cheeks making his eyes disappear into crescents from his smiling.

“I cleaned my house for you.” You told him as the place quieted down, seeing his eyebrow quirk up.

“Someone trying to impress me?” Mark joked, grinning somehow wider. “I’m actually really excited to see your place and not have tons of people around me and in the same house.” He sounded relieved and you were slightly concerned for a minute. It flashed in your mind that it was probably really hard for him to deal with that many people around him at all times. You knew a little about their housing situations, but he’d talked about it just a bit.

“You all live together right?” you asked, thumbing over his hand and you heard him sigh.

“Yeah, kinda.” He shrugged. “There’s twenty-one of us, right?” You heard him hesitate and you realized that this was the first time that Mark was really opening up, but it was also the first time he wasn’t in close proximity of the other members and not even in the same town as them for the first time since you met him. And you’d only been around when he was in a group of seven, so the reality of how they were living was more concerning than you’d thought about before. You nodded. You could tell Mark was gathering his words. “There’s technically ten of us in 127, which I know you know is my main promoting group,” You nodded again. “but nine of us live together. Nine. Ten of us lived together before one of our members, his name’s WinWin, went to China with WayV,” You heard him sigh, furrowing your brows and almost feeling terrible for him. It wasn’t often you thought about that kind of thing, but it was becoming obvious that it was something he dealt with daily.

“That.. is a lot. It sounds overwhelming.” You turned to him with a frown, just wanting to comfort him. “Well, you get to have a small getaway, right?” you tried to reassure him, seeing a sad smile creep on his cheeks, pulling his mask down in the dark empty garage.

“Yeah, I’m really excited about it.” He sighed happily. “It’s going to be a really nice escape.” When you walked up to your car, seeing the Mustang had his jaw dropping. It was nearly as if he’d just laid eyes on a Lamborghini. “Is this your car?” He asked, grinning when you unlocked it with your keys, letting go of his hand to open the trunk for his bags. “Holy shit, I’ve got myself a badass.” He pulled the mask off of his ear, grin shining brightly and setting his bag in the trunk, admiring the car.

“I guess so.” You shrugged, looking the vehicle over and not thinking a huge deal of it. It was an upgraded model you got straight off the lot and you took great care of it, so you were proud, but it wasn’t as big of a deal as Mark was making it out to be. “I like it, it takes me places.” You teased, raising a brow at Mark, who was inching his way closer to you. You hoped the parking garage was private enough because you grabbed Mark by the jacket and pulled him flush to you, just close enough to where your faces were an inch from each other.

“You take me places.” He told you, closing the space between the two of you with a firm kiss, lips sliding against yours like his life depended on it. The words fluttered in your stomach. You felt good, like you were an escape to the life he was so used to living. You loved that Mark made you feel so detrimental with every kiss he gave you, his soft hands finding place on your sides, gently thumbing over the fabric of your shirt. You pulled away with a grin, seeing his shy smile and a bright blush on his cheeks.

“The only place I’m taking you is home.” You told him, biting your lip and seeing him shy away again.

“Okay!” Mark laughed nervously, biting his lip and hugging you tightly, sighing into your neck. “I’m so glad to see you.” You felt your heart race, pulling away so you could get in the car.

“Are you hungry?” You asked him, grinning and wondering if he was properly taking care of himself since he was so busy.

“Starving.” He told you, making his way over to the passenger side. “Maybe you should show me your way around Los Angeles?” He smirked playfully, slipping into the car and admiring the inside.

“Like a date?” you joked, grinning as he settled into the seat and shut the door.

“I’m all yours.” Mark softly smiled, reaching over to gently lay his hand on your lap. It surprised you how affectionate Mark seemed to be in comparison to how he seemed in videos you’d seen of him and he was definitely more of an open book than you’d thought. He’d told you much more than you’d ever expected to hear from him, and it made him seem so vulnerable. You had one hand on the steering wheel as you reversed out of your spot, making your way out of the parking garage before you tangled your fingers with his, opting to drive with your left hand. Holding hands with Mark was sweet, his clammy fidgety hands between your fingers made your heart warm and the heat rise on your cheeks. “You’re actually a good driver.” He told you, bright smile flashing. You rolled your eyes and thought of all the times that your friends had told you that you weren’t.

“Don’t let my friends hear you.” You told him, grinning. “They all think I want to star in Tokyo Drift or something.” You earned a soft laughter, thumbing over the back of your hand.

“My friend Johnny drove us around in Chicago once and I almost threw up. I wouldn’t tell him that though. I mean he’s a good driver! He was just too excited to show us around.” The mention of Johnny’s name made your heart rate spike again, swallowing hard. “You also have a nicer car, so that might help.” He made you laugh, rolling your eyes again.

“I paid incredibly too much for it right off the lot, but it was my dream car for a while.” You told him, looking over to see him still starry eyed.

“At least you can drive.” You snorted at that, grinning at his childlike ways. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t drive, but you were sure he definitely didn’t have the time to learn and with the abundance of drivers he had it seemed weird for him to take himself around. “Taemin tried to drive us once here and our manager literally made him get out of the car so he could drive. Man was heartbroken.” You snorted harder, thinking about Taemin pouting and being forced into a passenger seat.

“Does he drive at home?” You asked, biting your lip because you already kind of knew the answer.

“Jongin said he’s terrible. But yes, he does drive.” He said through giggles. You sighed, pulling up into the street you lived on before skillfully parking into a spot in the garage, making Mark raise his eyebrow at you, slightly impressed. “See? I could never do that!” He grinned again. The awe he had in his eyes when you did anything blew your mind, making your chest tight and you felt like a teenager inviting your boyfriend over when your parents weren’t home. It wasn’t the same kind of forbidden, but it was close.

You walked Mark up the stairs, slight small talk between the two of you as he ranted softly about being so tired. You knew exactly how tired he was, you knew he was between two groups that were touring back to back and you just wanted him to rest, but he was making it seem less tiring than it was. You soothed his mind as you listened to him rant. He seemed to need someone to do that with who was outside of the situation, so you were happy to be of assistance. He was sweet and didn’t want you to worry, but you were mostly just glad you could be in his arms again. You didn’t know how long the fling would last, so you would savor it as long as possible, carefully walking him to the front entrance where he looked awestruck again, observing the many different lights and decorations around as you unlocked the door with your keys, seeing him bite his lip. He looked a bit nervous, like he was doing something he shouldn’t. Which was partially true.

“I cleaned for you.” You warned Mark.

“You said that already.” He laughed before squeezing your hip.

You grinned as you opened the door up, his fingers tangled with your left hand as he followed you inside, eyes beaming around the place as he took it all in. You felt him let go of your hand, slight confusion on your face before you felt arms around your waist, pulling a smile to your lips as the door shut behind you. You felt him hold you tightly from behind, his chin resting in the crook of your neck and sighing softly into your hair.

“I really missed you.” He told you. You could feel the warmth of his face against your skin and it felt intoxicating, relieving you of the stress from your last few hectic weeks. “I, like, think about you all the time, everyone tells me to shut up.” He spoke softer, just holding you in his embrace for a while longer, loving the contact and you wondered how you’d gotten so lucky. This amazing boy walked into your heart and was having a hard time leaving and for once, it wasn’t your fault. You hadn’t done anything special, but there he was, thousands of miles away from home and in your apartment to spend time with you before who knows what scheduling he had in the near future. It was unreal.

Mark had fallen asleep quickly after laying down in your bed with you, promises of he was sorry for being so sleepy as he thumbed over your hips through your oversized t-shirt and he couldn’t quite get it through his mind that you didn’t actually care at all. It was nice to be laying in bed with him, not a worry in the world and you weren’t at all concerned about work, everything had gone much smoother in the last few days than you expected and you were making quite a bit of money and saw pretty good reviews, so all you had to focus on was Mark sleeping peacefully in your bed for the next few hours, dozing off right next to him, his head laying on your chest. His kind, sweet innocent nature made the room a thousand percent cozier.

You woke up with Mark’s nose nuzzled into the crook of your neck and his arm uncomfortably laid over your body. The first thing you did was snort, seeing his messy hair and his open mouth. You hoped he was dreaming well, clearly sleeping peacefully enough to knock the blankets to the edge of the bed and push the pillow he was supposed to be laying on off of it. You hadn’t seen him sleep that hard yet, but since the stress of the SuperM tour for that segment was off of him for a few days, you knew he needed the rest before he headed home for practice and then to Spain. You gently moved yourself off the bed, trying your hardest not to wake him and replace your body with the extra pillow before softly covering him up.

You sighed peacefully, looking at him sleeping heavily on the bed, seeming to not have woken him up as you slipped onto your balcony to smoke, putting a cigarette to your lips before taking a deep breath in. You looked back in through the window to see Mark still sleeping sweetly, cuddled around the pillow you left him, a smile gracing your lips as you took a seat on the balcony, looking over the city. It was just before dawn and it had been a while since you’d taken the time to appreciate the sky. Mark helped you slow down. You never once thought that someone could change you, but he brought you new surprises each day.

You had your knees pulled to your chest while the cool breeze passed over you. It never got too cold in Los Angeles, so sitting out was nice even in winter. You took a few drags from your cigarette, watching the stars glisten and wondered how you got so lucky as you tried to pull yourself awake from the nap. You yawned slightly and a small gasp left your lips when you heard the balcony door open, quickly turning back to see a yawning Mark with his eyes hardly open. He shot you a smile and rubbed his eyes, taking a seat next to you. “Good morning.” He spoke softly, eyeing the cigarette in your hand.

You grinned at him. “Sleep well?” You asked, seeing his sleepy grin. “You were out pretty hard. I didn’t think my bed was that comfortable.” You teased, taking another drag. You didn’t miss how he eyed it.

“Yeah, it was probably the best nap I’ve had in about 6 years now.” Mark laughed, wrapping his own arms around his knees, yawning again. “You’re comfortable.” He teased, sighing. “You sleep okay? I woke up and you were gone.”

You shrugged in response. “I slept fine, yeah.” You nodded. “You sleep like a rock.” His laugh could bring daises back to life.

“I guess I needed it.” Mark was still eyeing your cigarette, furrowing your brows as you followed his eyes. “Do you smoke a lot?” He asked, eyes innocent.

You were embarrassed, swallowing softly. “I-I guess I do.” You answered honestly, shrugging and taking another drag. “Probably more than I should.” You’d cut down a lot, but not enough to be rid of the habit.

Mark nodded. “Did you, uh, ever-“ You knew what he was about to say, you’d heard it a million times and it hurt you each time someone said it, you just wished it didn’t have to come out. “Think about quitting?” You knew that in his line of work, he wasn’t really allowed to smoke, just like everyone else he was around. It was Mark’s second strike since the PDA in the bowling alley, and it made you nervous.

“Not-not really. I’ve put it down a few times, but honestly it’s just relaxing.” Your face was red, and you felt awkward, looking down and taking another drag as you sighed. Mark swallowed, blinking and scooting closer to you and you could see him biting his lip from the corner of your eyes.

“Oh, okay, um,” Mark started, but the damage was already done. “I’m sorry, that was, um, kind of rude.” He sighed again, fiddling with his fingers. “I-I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, you know.” Mark told you. You responded with a nod, but just needed a moment to cool down over it. You were frowning a bit, just trying to finish your cigarette. You had to give it to him, he was good at taking his foot out of his mouth. You just wish it hadn’t gone in.

“I get it a lot.” You shrugged, keeping your eyes away from his. You hated being embarrassed about it, especially since you knew everyone who tried to get you to quit was right, but it was an easy way to relax and you didn’t like that people told you what to do. “I just don’t like to be reminded of stuff I don’t like about myself.” You both smiled at that, earning a shrug from Mark.

“You can say that again.” He grinned, looking over at you. You put the cigarette out, smiling over at him. He reached over, gently stroking your cheek with his thumb before gently pecking you on the lips. “It doesn’t bother me that much, I’m just not used to it. Nobody around me smokes. It’s just-“ He shrugged again, making you smile. “Different.”

You both got up from the balcony ground, making your way inside. “Let’s go shower, you sweat in your sleep.” He laughed. “Which makes me sweat, so.” You teased him, grinning.

“It was a long day, okay.” He shook his head, already tugging off his shirt and tossing it over his shoulder. You took a slight look, biting your lip softly and tugging him into the bathroom by his wrist.

“That was like, the most fancy shower I’ve ever been in.” Mark giggled softly, drying his hair off with one of your plush towels. You shook your head, smiling at his antics. You’d just had slightly messy, but definitely sweet sex in the shower and he was just thinking about your bathroom. You had to admit, you did have a really nice shower and you loved it but hearing him talk about it filled you with a sense of pride. “You’ve got like, a really nice house.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Come on, your place has got to be nice, you’re an idol for god’s-sake.” You saw him shrug, smiling back at you.

“I mean, it’s nice, but you’ve got this place to yourself.” He told you, looking around your apartment, wide eyed with a towel around his waist. You tried not to stare, but you liked the way Mark looked and you couldn’t deny it. “This is like, the perfect bachelor pad.” You snorted at him.

“I’m not exactly a bachelor.” You teased, seeing him gasp and cover his face, his bashfulness showing through.

“I can’t tell if you’re saying you’re not single or what you’re trying to get at.” He pouted softly, soft smile showing through. “Because,” He stepped closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I think we’re kind of, um, exclusive.” You couldn’t help your grin, already knowing the truth behind his words, but it was nice to finally hear it from his mouth.

“That was like, the most nervous way to ask me to date you.” You were in another big shirt already, not bothered by him seeing you so casual. He’d seen you at your worst at that point, so you kissed him, your hands placed softly on his cheeks, closing your eyes and feeling his body pressed close. He had basically just told you that you were practically dating, so you had to honor him, knowing it was hard for the situation, but you were willing to settle with that for now. You’d known each other for only a short amount of time at that point, but it was exciting to kind of know where you stood.

“Well I mean, it’s the end of the decade, you know, why not do something crazy while I can?” Mark was looking shy, a blush tinting his cheeks.

“Yeah, why not?” You shrugged, teasing. “I like that you’re willing to take a risk with me.”

“Well, I’ll be in the states quite a bit next year,” He started, grabbing your immediate attention. “Like, I will be here, a lot.” He emphasized. “And I think it’s kinda, um, stupid to ignore the fact that this could work.” You swallowed, blinking and excited to hear what was coming next. “So, I thought, why not? You know? I just think it’s worth it to try.” He smiled again, unable to stop his excitement from showing. Your head was spinning.

“I definitely think you’re right.” You nodded, sighing happily and kissing him softly again, wrapping your arms around his neck. “So I think you should get dressed and we should go on our first date.” It was still slightly dark out, but since you had the nap it felt much later in the day. You shrugged. “Or, you know what?” You piqued his interest.

“Yeah?”

“We could order in, watch a movie, and make out all morning until we fall asleep.”

“That sounds much better.” You saw Mark go to your room, open his suitcase, and pull out a shirt and some shorts, cutely pulling them on. He looked so shy as you watched him, smiling like an idiot and trying to hide himself.

“You don’t have to be so shy, you’re like basically my boyfriend right now.” You teased, grinning and flipping through the subscriptions on your TV as background noise.

“Ah, right now?” He laughed, trying to tug on some socks on one foot, raising a brow at you. “I’m only your boyfriend right now?” He smirked, finally fully dressed and making his way over to your bed, laying sweetly at your side.

“Shut up.” You teased him, running your fingers through his wet hair. He looked around your room, admiring the simple decor and grinning when he saw a small collection of NCT things around your desk. You’d left them there to hopefully make him smile.

“So someone’s become my fan.” Mark joked, seeing him eye the few remaining albums around your shelves. He had no idea that the rest of your memorabilia was in another room, so you’d let him have that one. You were silent for a moment, if only he knew. “Whose photocards did you get?” He laughed, looking back and quirking an eyebrow back up at you. You shrugged playfully, enjoying that he seemed to feel full of himself.

“Well, I got one for Johnny, a Jungwoo, and two for you.” You saw him grin widely at the last part, smiling to himself. “I also have some SuperM albums on the way, I thought you’d enjoy those unboxing if you were here.” You shrugged again, not missing how happy he seemed to get.

“Hm, I think that would be a great date.” Mark joked, grinning widely. “I hope you got my face.”

“I did, because I love your face.” You smirked teasingly, “But I also got Taemin, Ten, Lucas, and literally all of your faces. I bought them all.” You snorted and Mark couldn’t help but to laugh loudly. You didn’t really have the time before you met him to buy your albums because of all the work you were doing to prepare you for your trip, so meeting them was really working in your favor. “You’ve gotta get some kind of paycheck from me, right?” He was enjoying the praise, you could tell.

“I just want to be with you, I don’t need anything from you.” Mark spoke with the sweetest smile on his face. “But, I do like that you care so much.” He shrugged, sitting up and reaching out for your arm. “Come on, let’s go check out Netflix and make ourselves sick on takeout. My treat.” You happily stood up, wrapping your arms around his waist and easily following behind him with your head on his back as he tried to make his way around your house. He was checking everything up and down, being nosy, but you didn’t care. It was his home for the next few days and you wanted him to come back, so it felt like his place too. Mark was your boyfriend for now, at least. You’d enjoy it while you could. “Ah man, this place is crazy!” He spoke in giggles, excitement evident in his voice. “Like I said, our place is nice, but nothing like this!” He admired the beautiful chandelier work, flipping your dimming light switches, and decided to mess with the crystal door handles. He was like a little kid in a candy store. You’d made the place elegant, especially for work parties and personal investment meetings, so you were proud of how it had come along, it was nice for Mark to feel the same way too. “Ya’ll got a pool?” He snorted.

“Yeah, actually, there’s a community pool on the fourth floor, it’s heated too.” You shrugged, hearing Mark sigh happily.

“God, that sounds so nice. We’ll have to go before I leave.”

You pouted in response, not wanting to think about him leaving, you had other things to do and not worry about anything but each other and spending as much time together as you could. You each needed it more than anyone could imagine.

Mark was rather silly, he got bored of the movie he picked super easily, he’d seen the Xander Cage movies so many times that he said even his members got annoyed with it and he was sure to tell you that Donghyuck and Dongyoung were the main ones who said something about it, you noted how cute it was that he used their birth names, it made you feel even closer. He was being sure to show you his music videos, giggling at himself each time he saw himself on screen, making sure you were paying attention and you didn’t have the heart to tell him you’d seen them already even though you were positive he’d just play it off as you liking him.

You’d learned his favorite videos so far were The 7th Sense and Superhuman and was sure to point out that Ten and Taeyong were in each, pointing them out and singing along excitedly. “We have such a fun time filming the videos, they’re the best part of the job.” He told you, trying to keep still as he tangled his legs along with yours on the couch. “We film all over the world, too! We get to travel so much, it’s unreal.” He was grinning like an idiot, pride overwhelming his speech. “Ten was actually supposed to be in 127 with me and Taeyong, but he got hurt and now he’s in WayV with Lucas and-“ he sighed happily. “We’re all just one huge, like, massive family.” The smile on his face was bright, excited to show you each video, trying to figure out your sound system and dancing in his seat.

“You’re so cute.” You reminded him, running your fingers through his hair when he laid his head on your shoulder. He was small and fragile, definitely someone who liked being taken care of but wouldn’t admit it. “You care so much about them.”

“I really do, I didn’t think I’d like literally everyone in a 21 member group, but we all get along pretty well.” he made sure to tell you, checking his phone and you didn’t miss his lock screen picture, a photo of 127 right after the end of the Neo City tour. It was a picture of them all in Vancouver where Mark was from. You recognized it easily. You were keeping up with them more than before, so you were extremely up to date. “We’re missing Jungwoo right now, so it kind of sucks.” He frowned. “And we don’t interact much with Wayv right now, but hopefully next year we’re all gonna be back together again!” He said hopefully, grinning and responding to his texts. You’d seen quite a few unanswered messages, but you wouldn’t pry.

“There’s really 21 of you?” You asked, feeding into his excitement.

“Uh, yeah, it, uh, gets kinda crazy when you get into it, but like, we’ve got 21 in the entirety of NCT,” He laughed, turning his body toward you to fully explain. You knew the explanation well enough to tell anyone, but you’d listen excitedly. He told you about it before, but each time he talked about it you listened, starry eyed and willing to let him explain. “I was in NCT Dream for a while, then I kinda, like, graduated, and now it’s just the younger ones, so I kinda got kicked out.” He laughed again, shrugging. “I miss it, but SM has so many plans for me and I’m just here to follow along and I’ve debuted like ten times at this point.” He was exaggerating, so you were going to play with him.

“Ten?” You snorted, laying your legs across him on the couch as he pulled up some NCT Dream videos, watching him instead as Chewing Gum was the first one playing on the YouTube playlist.

“Well, I debuted four times, but that’s not the point.” Mark was laughing now, giggling as he was eyeing the TV. “God! I look so young! That was only a few years ago!” He shook his head, eyeing the video.

“You’re only 20 now, so you’ve grown a bit. I mean, look at how different Renjun and Jeno look!” You grinned, hoping to pull excitement from him. Mark looked at you with wide eyes and his jaw dropped.

“You know the members?” He asked excitedly, blinking and in disbelief. You could play dumb, you’d learned it was a bit more fun that way.

“I pay attention.” You shrugged with a giggle, seeing Mark sigh happily, grin not leaving his face. “My boyfriend is in NCT, I’ve gotta learn a bit about them, right?”

Mark nodded, shrugging playfully. “That’s dedication, I knew I picked a good one.” You couldn’t find it in you to feel guilty because of hos excited he seemed to be. You both shared giggles, feeling him scoot closer and wrap his arms happily around your waist and hug you tight, happy to have someone care so deeply about him. “It’s so exciting, I-“ You felt him tense a little, getting a bit more serious. He sighed heavily, shrugging.

“What?” You prodded, running your fingers back through his hair.

“It-It’s nothing.” He stilled, arms staying around your waist and his head still laying on your chest in the embrace.

“It-It’s just, um,” He sighed again. “I’ve never really dated anyone before, it’s just.. really exciting.” He was bashful, you could feel his cheeks pull into a smile, a small giggle coming from his lips.

Your cheeks were burning up, kissing the top of his head to make sure he didn’t feel too awkward. You didn’t care that he was inexperienced like that, it didn’t bother you. It felt nice that he was opening himself up, you liked being the new experience. “It’s okay, I promise.” You reminded him, moving his hair out of his face as he came back into reality from his confession. “I’ll make sure you’re comfortable.”

“You’re just, like, amazing.” He was sighing again, this time of relief and you couldn’t stop your own giggle. “And Everyone dates quietly sometimes, but I’ve never had that, really. Like Johnny’s dated a couple people, Baekhyun’s had a few girlfriends, Jongin too, Lucas dated people when he was younger, so now it’s like,” He groaned, obviously slightly embarrassed and he talked a lot when he was nervous. “I’ve got someone.” You were blushing again, loving the way he was confessing; so cute when he was bashful. You heart was beating heavy in your chest, glad to just be making someone so happy. It felt good to you too, finally having someone who you never thought in a million years would be in your home, making sure you knew he was yours. You didn’t expect that conversation to come up out of your knowledge of his members, your guilt being pushed into the back of your mind. You didn’t care at that point, just glad to have him so excited. Maybe you’d confess soon, it almost felt right, but the moment was good, and you didn’t want to change it as he picked his head up, happily pecking your lips and you could easily see the bright blush on his face, giggling when you finally met eyes.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Mark Lee, you are a sap.” You both grinned, pecking his lips once again. “And I like you a lot, so I’m happy to have you as my someone too.” His smile was bright enough to put the streetlights out of business.

“Good, because hopefully you’ll see a lot of me this year.” He snorted, kissing you sweetly again, slightly parting his mouth and you couldn’t help but to laugh. “And I’m excited to see a lot of you.” He spoke against your lips.

“Someone’s eager.” You teased, letting him get entry on your mouth, his soft tongue swiping along your lip and easily moving your legs to lay you under him on the couch, soft laughs coming from the both of you as you kissed passionately. His hands made their way up your sides and squeezed softly. He made a soft noise as his fingers felt your skin, raising goosebumps in their wake, easily thumbing over them. You didn’t mind his pent-up frustrations, rather enjoying that he was riled up all because of you, especially since you hadn’t seen him in a few weeks. You liked being his center of attention, you couldn’t deny it.

Mark kissed down your neck, his soft breaths making it evident he was still nervous to be so close, but eager to please you. “Is this okay?” He asked, he always did. The sun was peaking golden in the mid-day even with the lights off. You loved seeing him praise you silently in the glow. He left soft nibbles on your skin, pushing your shirt up just below your chest, his hand smoothing over your ribcage and kissing just above your collarbone. You moved your leg and pressed your thigh between his, giggling at the groan that came out. “Baby,” He soothed, not missing how he softly ground on your skin, loving the attention you gave him.

He moved back up to kiss your lips, soft hands roaming around your thighs and playing with the hem of your shorts. He gently cupped between your legs, kissing you harder as he humped down on your leg through his shorts. The friction was nice and warm, just enough to get you going. Mark was like an eager puppy, loving the not-quite-enough touches.

His finger pressed down between your folds through your shorts, his lips eager to get more leverage, tongue trying to gain access as he steadied himself. For some reason it was really hot that he was using you to get off, you hadn’t quite experienced that before and with Mark it was such an innocent way for him, he was sensitive and you hadn’t seen each other for a while, so the need was obvious. He was panting into your mouth after a moment of grinding on you, whining softly and you couldn’t help but giggle, kissing him back with fervor. You loved the way he felt against you as he slid his fingers under your shorts and underwear, playing gingerly on your clit with the tips of his fingers.

“Mark, baby,” You spoke against his lips, you could tell he was close, his face was hot, and he buried it into your neck as he kept his hips moving, his fingers trying their hardest and making you choke a little on your breaths. “Fuck,” It was a sweet scene, the neediness in his body as you let him use you. His fingers didn’t stop, losing focus and making your vision blur until he stilled his body, heaving breaths in as he reached his high, nearly collapsing onto your body as he whined. You giggled at how spent he was, running your fingers through his hair. You weren’t too worried about getting off, as he was clearly needing it more than you, especially since he spent 98% of his time surrounded by people and he was a pretty hormonal guy, so you understood. He was silent for a moment, trying to come back to reality and you knew the groan from his throat meant he wasn’t proud of himself. He moved his hand back to your thigh, his body warm. He was silent for a moment when you felt him tense up.

“Oh god, oh man, I can’t believe I just did that.” Mark groaned again, pouting and not facing himself toward you. He turned over and laid next to you side by side on the couch, hiding his face in his hands with an obvious stain in the front of his shorts. You could see his embarrassed smile under his wrist, turning over to giggle and scoot closer to him.

“Don’t be shy,” You teased, tapping your fingers against his hand, trying to get him to come back to you. “I liked it.” You admitted, biting your lip and seeing his eye peak from under his hand.

“You did?” He was giggling again, pouting softly and he looked so cute, you couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, I like it when you’re needy.” He groaned again, covering his arm with his face as you tried to ignore the heat in your core.

“God, I sound like a teenager.”

“Mm, a hot teenager.” You both laughed, making you think again, knowing that wasn’t what you meant. “Maybe I shouldn’t say that.”

“Yeah, maybe not.” He was finally laughing again, turning over to lay his arm along your side, tickling your hip. He kissed you much softer this time, his lower lip poking between yours as his fingers made their way back down, grinning into his kiss as they pressed into the waistband of your shorts, slipping underneath to work on you again. You gasped softly into his mouth, moving your leg over his hip as he got better access. He slipped his fingers down and teased around in your arousal, a gasp pulling from his throat when he felt how turned on you were. He stayed for a moment, rubbing at your clit to get you going again before he pressed two digits inside, groaning into your mouth at how wet you were, his thumb rubbing back over your clit. It didn’t take much to get you off, leaving you panting into his mouth and his soft fingers working themselves on you. “Good?” He asked, working you through your orgasm and smoothing over your folds to bring you back to earth.

“Mm, it’s always good with you.” You assured him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pecking his lips once more. “But you should probably change, I’ll wash your dirty clothes.” You grinned, seeing him nod. “I saw that interview where Johnny said you wash your clothes when you can, so let me take care of you.” He was rolling his eyes immediately. He regretted every interview he’d ever done all at once.

“Alright, alright, don’t embarrass me more, okay.” He teased, sitting up and wishing you to follow him to get his clothes in order.

Things were easy with Mark, much easier than your other relationships, for some reason he had much lower standards and it didn’t take much to amuse, entertain, or impress him. He was adorable and you loved the fact that every time you spoke he had stars in his eyes as if you were the amazing one and the all-famous perfect person of his dreams. You worried vaguely about your future and how you’d end up, but you wanted to have fun for the time being and worry about the craziness later. Luckily you both had the money to see each other pretty often, you would just have to find the time. After seeing his schedule for the year though, you weren’t too worried. You’d have so many opportunities to see him and it made the idea much better.

There was only a hint of sadness once you had finally come to his last night of visiting, you’d spent most of your time relaxing and doing Mark’s laundry to almost rehabilitate him from the hectic tour life, but you also spent 6 hours in Dave & Buster’s together in Hollywood after a very thrilling street show of lookalikes where Mark threw two hundred dollar bills into the tip jar. The Willy Wonka cried, so it was safe to say you enjoyed your time with him. It was your last night together and you wanted to make it special, so of course you were laid in bed finishing the most recent season of Stranger Things.

For some reason, you had also ended up in two groupchat text messages, one with SuperM that somehow always seemed empty when you texted in it, so that was vaguely disappointing, but you did enjoy the chat with some of the guys from 127, a shocking twist, and that one always was very fun. The chat included you and Mark, Jaehyun, Yuta, Johnny and Taeyong, so the combination was always very interesting. You had to hide your excitement when you finally got to talk to them but talking to them normally really made you realize how they were normal people, just like Mark. It felt like a fantasy. You loved being included in the fun and finally having more conversations with Taeyong was nice. You liked him a lot, you thought.

You couldn’t quite tell what it was, but Baekhyun especially didn’t seem to be bothered with you and it only slightly got to your head, but you realized that it wasn’t easy to please everyone. You knew he’d been through a lot in his time and you were sure he knew how dangerous the whole dating thing was and since you and Mark were trying to keep under wraps, maybe it was best if they weren’t all too involved.

So, there you were, tangled up in Mark’s arms as he responded to the “foreigners+yong” groupchat. Johnny named it with pride, he was amused and Taeyong liked it too. They’d thoroughly explained the name to you, and you listened, just enjoying that they were amused by telling you that Jaehyun lived in America for 4 years and where the others were born, you didn’t mind at all.

You sighed into Mark’s chest, thumbing softly over his torso and smiling when he giggled at how it tickled. “God, you’re so cute.” You reminded him with starry eyes.

“Text that in the groupchat, they’ll for real never believe it if you don’t say it.” He teased, smirking as you rolled your eyes at him.

“I don’t have to say everything in a group chat.” You teased him back, grinning when his smile was shining. You sighed happily, laying your head back on his chest. “Mm, let’s order pizza.” You suggested.

“God, yes, I’m starving.” He groaned happily, tossing his phone away from him on your bed. He told you how much he liked your bed and you wished he could stay in it forever, but hopefully it wouldn’t be long until he could again. “And we should order, um, dessert too, because, yeah.” He was giggling again, kissing the top of your head. “Gotta splurge on the last night in paradise. My treat.” You snorted in response, shaking your head and pulling his phone back up to grab it and call for delivery. He didn’t mind showing you his phone and yours was on the charger across the room, so you pulled up Uber Eats and as you were placing the order, you saw a text message from Baekhyun saying to call him when he could.

You’d seen him ignore a few phone calls in the day, opting to deal with the backlash the next day after his flight back home, so you didn’t think much of it. Mark was tapping his fingers on your back to whatever rhythm he was humming as you placed the final order, handing him his phone back. “Baekhyun texted you.” You told him, smiling and seeing his shrug.

“Yeah, he’s been, um, kinda weird since the first leg of the tour ended, I’m not sure what’s up with him.” Mark shrugged, obviously not bothered by Baekhyun’s actions. You figured you shouldn’t be either.

“He said he wanted you to call him.” You heard Mark sigh with a pout, looking down at you as if it was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll, uh, call him before we go to bed, I wanna savor this moment and, um, not really think about work.” Mark was smiling. You of all people understood that more than anyone, so you were happy to let him do it. Mark was the one person that helped you forget about work and realize that sometimes living is more important, so you liked that he felt that way sometimes with you. He often told you that Johnny had to force him to focus on his happiness, so you were glad for that, but inside you knew it was nice to have someone like a partner tell you as more than a friend.

Baekhyun was pacing around the EXO dorm, alone. He’d debated on calling Mark for days to confirm scheduling for interviews and photoshoots with SuperM. He wanted to let Mark have his relaxation, but when it got around to him that the younger boy was hanging out with you, his anger rose high in his chest, not believing that he was still in the position to break the two of you up and he hadn’t done it. He was waiting for Mark’s text back, hoping he would come to his senses and stop ignoring his job.

Yes, Mark was technically on a short break between his schedules, but Baekhyun for some reason was the only person managers and the agency were calling to confirm the scheduling for SuperM and he was maybe getting really antsy about it, but he was annoyed that you were still parading one of his members around without him knowing your secret. He was even more annoyed that somehow you’d ended up in a groupchat with them and everyone seemed to be fine with it, even Taeyong who knew about what you were doing.

Baekhyun wasn’t new to the game, he knew how often people pretended to know nothing about them just to get closer and needless to say, it pissed him off and he just wanted everyone to be truthful and let them decide on their own terms if they wanted to pursue anything upon them knowing. Hell, even Jongdae was fine with a non-idol fan time after time and he was even getting married to one, but that was only after his own choice and decision on the matter. Baekhyun groaned loudly, noting that it was nearing four in the afternoon and he hadn’t gotten a response from Lucas or Mark.

He paced around, grumbling to himself and wishing he didn’t have a secret to tell; it was nearly eating him alive and he hated keeping secrets.

He sent Taeyong a text, knowing he’d landed back in Korea just a few days ago and he was supposed to be headed to Spain soon after days of rehearsals with the rest of 127.

Where the hell is Mark?

Baekhyun didn’t mean to be so aggressive, his junior didn’t deserve it. Back at the SM Building, Taeyong was definitely getting back into practice mode for the following 127 tour, he was always practicing for the next thing and Baekhyun knew that. It only took a few minutes before Taeyong responded. Baekhyun had the younger boy’s practice schedule practically memorized by that point.

He’s still in America!! Don’t worry, he’s okay! 😁

Baekhyun didn’t care that Mark was okay. Well, he did, but he had to care more about his new job as a leader above all. Baekhyun audibly groaned, tossing his phone on the couch and trying his best to calm down. He shook his head, annoyed and carding his fingers through his hair. He took a breather before picking his phone back up to respond.

Is he with you know who?

Baekhyun didn’t like being so vague, but he couldn’t risk someone seeing Taeyong’s phone by chance and getting a little too curious, he couldn’t risk anyone else knowing. It would be a PR nightmare if it got out that Mark was with you. Baekhyun didn’t know who was near, so he tried to be subtle. He wasn’t very good at being ominous when he was annoyed.

ummmmmm, I’m at practice, I can call you in a minute and we can talk about it 🥰

Taeyong was always really good at calming them down, always sending little emojis to relax them and Baekhyun couldn’t even try to be mad. He was disgruntled because Taeyong seemed to not be so worried about the situation, but Baekhyun had been in the dating position before and with EXO and their crazy scandals and multiple under-the-table dating situations, he could understand why Taeyong wouldn’t understand what kind of position he was in. What he didn’t know was that you and Taeyong had become somewhat friends and Baekhyun would be furious if he found out. Baekhyun just waited for the call, hoping that Taeyong would tell him it would all be okay. He was a leader himself, so maybe he would be able to help smooth things over. But Baekhyun knew. Baekhyun knew where Mark was if he wasn’t with the other part of his group and somehow the other members being so nonchalant about it annoyed him even further.

Baekhyun hadn’t even told Jongin yet about what he knew. The only person he’d really told was Jongdae and he didn’t offer much help, obviously having more important things on his own plate than a possible dating scandal that didn’t involve him. He’d been through the ringer enough and didn’t care anymore, but Baekhyun couldn’t let anyone else know because he didn’t want to seem like he was messing up his leader position already and he couldn’t afford that. Chanyeol knew and was busy with his own schedules, which was a pain in the ass because he was usually the only one who could calm Baekhyun down. He didn’t offer much more than an ear to listen when he called after the situation went down in Chicago, which wasn’t Chanyeol’s usual game. He appreciated the listening and small attempts to calm him down, but it still didn’t help the stress he was under.

Taeyong - Mobile popped up on Baekhyun’s screen and he gasped when he saw it light up, quickly scrambling to answer.

“Taeyong!”

“H-hi hyung!” Taeyong responded through heavy breaths. The background was silent, so Baekhyun hoped he was in a safe spot to talk. “What-what’s up?” Taeyong was nervous and Baekhyun could tell. He didn’t want to scare the boy, but he wanted to know what was going on.

“Mark’s still in America?” Baekhyun asked with a huff, hearing silence take up the conversation. He continued. “With-“

“Yeah, yeah he is..” Taeyong had cut him off, sighing. “He-um, stayed back to hang out, relax, spend a little alone time before we head to Spain, then back to New York, um, you know, just taking a break.” Taeyong cleared his throat, not knowing what other information to offer.

Baekhyun was pursing his lips, listening to Taeyong talk. He was frustrated, but he didn’t want to take it out on the boy. He had enough on his plate with worrying about 19 other members. “Does he know?”

Taeyong sighed again. Baekhyun tried to keep his cool.

“Does he know that he’s been getting lied to? Does he know yet?” Baekhyun repeated himself, hearing Taeyong sadly breathe through the speaker. Taeyong knew exactly what he was talking about. Taeyong was fully aware that Baekhyun was discussing your neglect to tell Mark about your knowledge of them, about the lightsticks and keychain he found in your bag and the pin nobody knew about. He’d had to hear all about it in their few moments alone in the last bit of the tour. Baekhyun wasn’t exactly quiet about his annoyance, and Taeyong was quite a bit weirded out by it, but Baekhyun was his friend so he was going to let him vent as much as he needed to.

“No..” Taeyong was quiet for a moment, silence speaking louder than words. “I-I haven’t told him.. nobody knows..” Taeyong swallowed, feeling like he needed to make a comment to hopefully calm his senior down, maybe just a little. “Mark’s just.. so happy..” He said quieter, hoping Baekhyun would understand. “Don-don’t tell him yet. Just-let him have this for a minute maybe, I-I guess I understand if you have to, but he’s really enjoying himself and.. we really like them together..” The last part fell off Taeyong’s tongue and he quickly realized he’d spoken too soon, he was in trouble.

“We?” Baekhyun scoffed, feeling a little angrier as the moments passed. He understood that Mark should be happy, but it wouldn’t stop pulling in his gut that he needed to tell Mark the truth. Taeyong felt like crying.

“We’re all, kind of, in a text with them.. Me, Johnny, Yuta, and Jaehyun,” Taeyong heard Baekhyun huff over the phone and he felt his chest get tight, he hated that Baekhyun, his senior he looked up to so much, was so upset by the situation. He just wanted everyone to be happy, Baekhyun couldn’t blame him. “We all get along well..”

“So more people know? Did you not tell them either?” Baekhyun scoffed, slumping himself on the sofa with his fingers pressed to his temples. He was going to be sick if he heard any more come from the conversation blowing up.

“I-No, no I didn’t..” Baekhyun could practically hear Taeyong pouting, he felt bad for nagging the poor boy, especially since he’d done it so much on tour and it was almost out of his ability to stop it, but he could have at least helped. Taeyong had a good head on his shoulders and for the most part his advice was looked up to and people listened to him, but he didn’t know Mark nearly as well and the guy seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders, but Baekhyun wasn’t sure anymore.

“Okay, well,” Baekhyun sighed, loudly. “I do have to tell him; otherwise it’s going to eat me alive.” Taeyong gulped again.

“I-“ Baekhyun expected a rebuttal, but Taeyong didn’t come back. “I understand, hyung.”

“I’m sorry.” Baekhyun didn’t know why he was the one apologizing, but he hated upsetting Taeyong, he hated upsetting anyone, he just wanted things to go smoothly, but they never did. He was realizing that very quickly.

“I really do get it, I wouldn’t want to be lied to either, but,” Taeyong sighed again. “Let him down easy, Mark might be a little crushed, he might be okay, I don’t really know. He’s fragile though.” Taeyong warned, much quieter than the rest of their conversation and he just wished that Baekhyun would think it over. Baekhyun was their leader after all and he called the shots. “I don’t think I have the heart to tell him.” He was honest, at least.

“Well,” Baekhyun hissed softly. “Let’s hope he’s been told, otherwise he’ll have to do some thinking and making some important decisions. For all we know, maybe he knows.”

“Okay, I understand.” Taeyong was very compliant, definitely knowing what kind of position Baekhyun was in. Baekhyun made the decision to stop the conversation immediately not to grill the boy any longer because he didn’t want to crush the poor boy’s feelings toward him. It was silent for only a moment before Baekhyun chimed in, cheerful as ever in comparison to the previous conversation.

“So, um, any idea where Lucas is?” The pair snorted over the phone, Taeyong tsk-ing through the speaker.

“Ten probably didn’t tell you his phone ended up in a lake after a very serious game of truth or dare, huh?” Taeyong was laughing, making Baekhyun finally enjoy something he was being told. It wasn’t ideal, but it was very Lucas of him.

“Oh my god.” Baekhyun laughed louder. “Okay, well I’ll just talk to Ten, then. Thank you.”

“No problem, hyung.” Taeyong was sure to sweet talk. “Call me if you need anything, okay?” It was sweet for him to offer, but Baekhyun had all the information he needed for the time being.

“So, you all ready and packed?” You asked Mark with a pout. It had been nice waking up and Mark had even packed before he got out of his pyjamas, so he embarrassedly was going to end up wearing his usual sleep shorts and a white t-shirt to the airport. You liked how comfortable he was with you and how dorky he was for closing his suitcases prematurely before realizing he should have changed, but he wasn’t going to risk opening the perfectly packed bags. You were busy sorting out a work issue so you couldn’t stop him before the damage was done, but it seemed fitting for Mark’s goofy personality.

“Unfortunately.” He pouted back, crawling back into bed with you and under the covers. You still had a few hours to kill before needing to bring him to catch his flight, so at least he would be comfortable, pulling the blankets over the two of you and practically wrapping himself around you like a koala in regret of having to leave. He’d forgotten to call Baekhyun back, but he had a plan to do it once he got through customs and waited for boarding. He liked leaving work behind sometimes, even if it got him in trouble, but he understood when you couldn’t do the same.

“So, are we going to cuddle until we have to leave, or?” You teased him, kissing his forehead and grinning at how giggly he got.

“I mean, I guess, until I get bored or something.” He was smiling even bigger, looking up at you with stars in his eyes. So, you both did just that, laying together and trying to remember to make sure Mark had grabbed everything he could’ve possibly brought. He made sure to remind you that he was always forgetting things, but he was actually fully prepared, so it made the last few hours uneventful. “But at the same time, it’s nice to just lay here with you.”

“Sappy.” You taunted, scooting down the bed and nuzzling into his neck.

“Yeah, yeah.” He laughed, squeezing you tightly and sighing softly into your t-shirt. “You don’t mind though.” You both laughed, sighing again.

“I absolutely do not!” You reminded him. “I love spending time with you and hearing all the cute things you have to say.” You shrugged, feeling how warm he felt, his heartbeat racing in his chest. You stayed quiet for a moment, just staying in each other’s embrace, enjoying the sweet silence as you lay together. “I like your voice.” The silence was different after your last statement, words hanging off the tip of his tongue as he idly fiddled with the fabric of your top.

“I-um.” Mark started to speak, his words catching in his throat. “I love you.” It came out all at once, no warning. His voice was firm, but shaky and you were more than taken by shock, swallowing and trying to process the words you’d just heard. He just told you he loved you and it had you staring at the wall, feeling like you couldn’t breathe, heartbeat pounding in your ears.

There was nothing that could’ve prepared you for the feeling you felt to hear that come from Mark.

It was an odd silence, from the both of you, taking in the weight of the confession and you tried to come up with a half decent response. You loved Mark, you loved spending time with him, but you hadn’t quite thought about it in that way, you were definitely feeling close to being in love with him, it just wasn’t something you predicted, maybe you thought it would fizzle out and the dream would end before you got to that point in your relationship. It didn’t feel like that moment would come.

“You-uh, you don’t- you don’t need to say it back I-“ Mark cut your thoughts off, pulling you out of your head. You needed to hear it; he was the king of making you feel better. “I just thought I should probably tell you, like.” He laughed softly. “I’ve never really done this before, obviously.” He was smiling again; you felt his cheek press against the top of your head. You picked your own head up, pulling away to look at him, his smiling face with the brightest blush on his cheeks. He was almost too cute. You leaned up to him, pressing a firm kiss on his mouth. You didn’t need to say much to him, just being with him was enough, you could sort your feelings out later, but you needed to let him know you were still in it as long as he was.

“I like you a lot.” You reminded him, squeezing him tight into a hug and pecking his lips once again. You wanted to say it back so badly, but you weren’t sure, you needed to think about it at least for a minute and reevaluate your feelings to make sure it was right. “I really do.”

“And that’s fine.” Mark was giggling softly, as if a weight had been lifted from his chest as he scooted up the bed, leaning his head against yours and sighing. “We can talk about it later, okay?” It seemed like he was taking the words out of your mouth, relaxing into the his position and trying to calm down from his confession.

“Okay.” You nodded, biting your lip and trying not to seem too excited. But you were definitely excited, and your feelings were overwhelmed. You thought for a moment about what the right move would be, but you found nothing. “Wanna have sex?” You asked, biting your lip. It felt right and you both couldn’t help from giggling like children.

“I-um, yeah.” Mark nodded, kissing you once again. “Yeah I do.”

Of course, you were intimate one last time before he left, it only felt right.

Once you both pulled yourselves back together, after some heartfelt kissing and getting back dressed, you knew it was time to start heading out to grab a bite to eat and make your way to the airport to separate for who knew how long. Soon he’d be in Spain, then right back in America, so it wouldn’t be too bad. Plus, you doubted contact would be a problem, Mark was a pretty good texter and you’d had enough conversations on the way to lunch and the airport that you were full of conversational topics for probably the next month.

“And here’s your stop.” You pouted softly as you parked in the airport lot, seeing Mark pull on his face mask and hat to return to his idol life. It was amazing how well you two kept quiet to the public, much easier than you thought it would be. People from your part of Los Angeles paid attention to themselves for the most part unless celebrities were specifically supposed to be somewhere. He leaned over and gently kissed you before tugging the mask over his mouth.

“Walk me in!” Mark said excitedly, nudging your arm and his eyes showed he was grinning like a fool. “We’ll get a couple more minutes together.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine.” You didn’t hate airports, but you weren’t the biggest fan of them, plus it was dangerous in case someone recognized him leaving, and you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself, plus it was daylight. However, you’d do it for Mark. You parked, getting out and helping him grab his bags of, thankfully, mostly fresh and clean laundry. At least you could be useful for something to him.

You walked with your arms by your sides, just in case, and walked one of his bags as he had the other.

He still hadn’t called Baekhyun yet and that worried you just a little, but you wouldn’t comment on it, it was his business. And sure enough, as you finished checking his bags in, Mark’s phone was ringing again. Mark sighed heavily as he glanced down at the name, shaking his head. He had 2 missed calls from his senior from the night before, but he was waiting until the last possible moment and it seemed like, as if he was on queue and ready. It was time. Mark sighed sadly, finally picking up the phone.

“Hey,” Mark started, swallowing and trying his best not to be annoyed that he was being brought back to work prematurely. “Yeah, I’m at the airport now, my flight leaves in an hour.” His voice flowed smoothly and he knew he was in trouble, but he would try to lighten the blow by being forward and polite.

You worried slightly, but you had to trust he was alright. He sighed heavily.

“Yeah, I’ll call you as soon as I land down.” He was nodding again, pursing his lips together and waiting to stand in line to go through customs. You heard Baekhyun speaking quietly over the phone. “Noon, tomorrow.” You weren’t sure what was being said, but you could tell he wanted to get off the phone already and hug you goodbye, checking around you to make sure nobody was around, and he wasn’t being followed. It came with the job you guessed. “Okay, I’ll see you then. Bye, hyung.” Mark groaned as soon as he was off the phone, looking back up at you with a sad smile. “Back to work, I suppose.” He snorted, sighing again.

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” You said softly, admiring how even with a mask on, he still looked adorable. He answered with a nod. “Tell the guys I said hi.” You both snorted. You hadn’t gotten a chance to meet anybody but the members in SuperM, but you hoped your friendship would hold.

“I’ll see you later.” Mark nodded again, stepping forward and hugging you close, warm and inviting as if leaving was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Hey, Mark.” Your voice spoke up before you could stop it. You’d been thinking about Mark’s confession all day and came to the realization quickly, but it was hard to register you were going to say it. The words hadn’t really come out so quickly with anyone ever. “I love you.” You announced quietly, ignoring the heat of your face. Mark sighed, but this time it sounded much more relieved. You did love Mark. You suddenly wanted to shout it from the rooftops. It had been stuck in your throat for longer than you wanted it to, and Mark felt like fresh air and it was all so new, but you just had to find the words and the right time. That was it. It felt so early, but not early enough all the same.

“I love you too.” He whispered before walking backwards into the line of checking himself in. You watched him glance at your lips as he walked and you so badly wanted to run forward to kiss him, but the situation made it impossible. You’d hold out. “I’ll see you soon! Promise!” He shouted half-heartedly, finally separating from you and going through the doors for security. You couldn’t wait to see him again.

Taeyong could stop the heartbreak, he knew he could, but he didn’t know if he had the heart to crush Mark like that. He knew how much Mark liked being truthful, up front, and honest, but Taeyong could see and got told often how much fun he had with you and how much he liked you, so he didn’t know how to either bring it up or stop Baekhyun from doing it. Taeyong was going to do it when Mark got back; he made up his mind to get to him before Baekhyun did, he thought he could bring the blow easier than someone with such pent up anger about the situation. Mark would be farther away from you and maybe take it better and Taeyong could help calm him down, so that was his plan.

But Taeyong was a bit too late. He thought Mark would get picked up by their drivers and go immediately to the shared dorm, not get picked up by Baekhyun himself. Taeyong was too busy with his own schedules to even think of that possibility.

It was a long flight, Mark had been too preoccupied and giggly to get any rest, excited for how his future was going, especially leaving the two of you on such a good note. He was feeling amazing, almost too good to be true, but he would try his best not to jinx it. He took the liberty of making a playlist to remind him of good times with you and the songs that made him feel excited throughout the last few weeks. He felt cheesy for it, but it would entertain him and keep his mind busy.

The flight felt like it was going by fast, watching movies and letting his mind drift off to his fun time spent. He finally felt like he’d had a vacation, a real one without cameras or the people he was always with. He felt relaxed and excited for how he’d be spending his next few weeks. He knew he had the parade with 127 in New York, but even just the thought of being close and on similar time zones again was keeping him so excited. The fact that he had another show with SuperM in February to come made it even more bearable because he knew he’d be close to you and he was already planning all his visits in advance.

Mark felt good and in control for the first time since he debuted. It was a relatively foreign feeling, but he wouldn’t change it for the world. Mark was pretty stoked, to say the least. He sighed happily as he watched his movies and had a few drinks with nobody bothering him on the plane. It was safe to say he thought it couldn’t get any better. He was absolutely sad to leave you, but he knew it wouldn’t be long before he saw you again.

Mark kept checking his phone, going through the pictures you’d taken together and grinning at the stupid selfies and off-guard pictures he’d gotten of you. They were going to be what kept him grounded, he knew it. He sighed happily, trying to at least get a nap in toward the last quarter of the flight, knowing it would be nearing midnight in the states and Baekhyun was famous for taking people’s time and rewarding them with lunch. He didn’t know how much sleep he would get in, but the jet lag would probably make it worse.

When Mark woke up, he was a little more than surprised to see the how bright the light was, signaling that he would be landing soon, and he’d be back at home. He was well rested, but something in his gut didn’t feel right. He hadn’t talked to you through the whole duration of his flight, unfortunately the Wi-Fi wasn’t working, and it was finally starting to settle inside of him how much he missed you, even if he’d just spent days with you and he’d see you again soon. As soon as he stepped off the plane he would be back to work and it hit him that his fantasy world was over so quickly. He frowned a bit, sighing and staring out of the window until he landed, his earphones playing the playlist as he tried to relax. He always forgot how much he hated sleeping on a plane ride, waking up made him feel restless and anxious.

Deboarding made Mark feel a little more easy, grabbing his bags and sighing as he walked out. He figured he was just sad to go back to work, sad to be stressed out again, and sad to be back on an intense schedule, but he knew with time he would get over it; get back into his routine and feel good about it all again. He made his way out of the plane, walking through the airport he knew so well to grab his bags and get back home. Maybe being home and cozy in his bed would make him feel better. Or he’d pout for a few days while on his schedules. Either was possible.

He walked outside after grabbing his bags, a yawn pulling from his mouth when he saw the cloudy skies and tried to make his way out of the airport. Jet lag was going to be a pain in the ass after being in the states for so long. What kind of car did Baekhyun drive again? He thought, sighing heavily when he heard a horn beep from a car he recognized as his senior’s, hoping nobody would approach or stop him. Mark didn’t want to be bothered at that moment, especially by fans.

Mark heard one loud “Lee Mark!” that pulled his attention, only one fan that waved at him and quickly scattered away. He shot them a soft smile and wave, thankful that it wasn’t going to be an issue. He didn’t know if he could handle an issue. Baekhyun got out of the vehicle, quieter than Mark had ever heard him, and he helped Mark put his bags in the trunk, giving him a silent and small ‘welcome home’ to be more welcoming, but as soon as he realized that Baekhyun was too quiet, he knew something was up. Baekhyun was nowhere near a quiet person, usually excited and bubbly and talking about anything and everything when he saw anyone. Mark was in trouble. He didn’t know what for, but the way Baekhyun’s face stiffly smiled at him, something was definitely wrong. He had a feeling he should be quiet, but the silence was deafening as his elder slipped into the vehicle.

“Um, hey-hey hyung.” Mark shot him a soft smile when he got in, trying to ease the weight of whatever was going to happen. He knew it was something bad, his gut nagging at him.

“How was your trip?” Baekhyun’s voice was harsh behind the words, making Mark gulp. He didn’t know if he should answer truthfully or not, because neither seemed like the right way, but he wanted to remain truthful. He wasn’t aware of Baekhyun’s feelings toward you, but he knew ignoring his work responsibilities for a relationship he wasn’t allowed to be in wasn’t his smartest move with his leader and responsibilities.

“It was actually, um, really nice, yeah. I had a good time. I relaxed.” He said honestly, dancing around the subject. Mark tried to smile again, looking forward and trying to ignore the heavy beating in his chest.

“Well, I-“ Baekhyun cleared his throat, almost an annoyance in his scoff. “I’m glad you had a good time, but you could’ve been a little more responsible.” Mark gulped again, hearing the obvious bite in Baekhyun’s tone. Mark felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, but he knew it would be better to ignore it for the time being. Whatever it was could wait, he was technically dealing with business. Baekhyun sighed and Mark could tell he was trying to calm himself down. “Why don’t we-why don’t I take you to lunch?” He asked the younger boy. “My treat.”

“That-um, sounds like you’ve got something scary to tell me.” Mark laughed nervously, scratching the hair on the back of his neck in hopes that he was wrong. He wasn’t.

“Yeah, well.” Baekhyun scoffed again, shrugging and Mark knew he was about to be crushed. He was hoping to be grilled about being responsible, he hoped that he’d just get chewed out; he could handle that. He knew he’d been loosely handling his schedules and been a bit sloppy, so he was okay with getting a good talking-to. His stomach hurt, nerves building in his abdomen and the last thing he wanted to hear was that he had to break it off with you; he wasn’t sure he could handle that. You’d been the source of his happiness and an escape for weeks now and he didn’t want to lose it.

Baekhyun had brought Mark to one of his favorite restaurants, trying to ease the blow of what he had to say a little. Mark hated to be let down and every time he thought about the possible bad news he’d be getting, his heart would start racing a million miles a minute and his tension had Baekhyun resisting. He went against his better judgement because he knew he would get angry, but he switched to a subject he knew would perk the boy up. You.

Baekhyun listened half-heartedly hearing him talk about you because he pushed to know what actually went down while Mark was ignoring him in America. He wanted to be told the truth and it came gushing from Mark’s mouth. Baekhyun had no interest in you at all, in fact he was actually pretty pissed that Mark did have such a good time and it upset him to have to rain on his parade because of something you could have controlled. Mark had clearly attempted to forget about the conversation they were supposed to be having, trying to focus in on the food and being optimistic when Baekhyun actually asked about you through gritted teeth. He ignored the undertone in his voice and spoke excitedly at the mention of you.

Mark was focused on the hole in their conversation for a few moments finishing his main course when he heard Baekhyun go quiet. The two of them sitting in an awkward quietness was eating Mark up and when his senior was tapping his fingers on the table, he knew it was time to speak up. “So-“ Mark cleared his throat. “What-what were you gonna, um, talk to me about?”

Baekhyun sighed heavily, he’d prolonged the conversation and heard Mark drone on about you for long enough. It was time. “Your friend.” Mark choked a little. He knew the subject would be about that, but the way Baekhyun brought it up felt weird. He was just talking about you and Baekhyun was the one who asked about you in the first place. What had changed so quickly that Baekhyun was suddenly changing his bad news to being about you.

“Wh-what’s it about?” Mark tried to ignore the pounding in his chest.

“I really don’t think you should see each other anymore.” The ball dropped. Baekhyun deadpanned, lips pursed in slight annoyance at the statement that had to come out of his mouth, holding back what he really needed to say. “It’s not what you think is going on, and I’d really like to save you from the seriousness of dating as an idol. It isn’t pretty.” He continued. “Things get dangerous, people aren’t nice. You can’t risk things like this for people. I mean for god sakes we have a dating ban for a reason.” Baekhyun scoffed. Mark had debuted four times; he was well aware of how dating and stuff like that went in the contract and maybe he had been a little careless in telling so many people, so he vaguely thought that’s what Baekhyun was talking about.

“I-I know, but,”

“I’m not finished, there’s more to this than you think.” Baekhyun didn’t know why he couldn’t find the words. Maybe he just really didn’t want to let the boy down. He sighed, trying to gather his thoughts. “People-“ He sighed. “People just aren’t what you think they are, okay?”

Mark’s eyes narrowed. He could tell Baekhyun was avoiding what he wanted to say. “What is this..actually about, hyung?” Mark swallowed, knowing exactly where the conversation could lead. Baekhyun was fishing into his pocket, grumbling quietly under his breath and tugging something out before tossing it on the table. Mark was even more confused now. Sitting in front of him was a broken NCT keychain and a photocard of Baekhyun’s face. The very ones he had taken from your suitcase and wallet. Maybe it was an extreme violation of your privacy that Baekhyun suddenly felt very aware of, but he had to have something to back himself up. “I don’t understand, what is this stuff?” Mark said seriously, raising a brow and eyeballing the items.

“I found this in your friend’s belongings.” Baekhyun shrugged, leaning back in his chair. He was being cryptic, and Mark didn’t like it.

“Stop saying it’s my friend, we’re dating.” He spat, the first time he’d gotten stern with anyone. Mark was continually more and more lost.

“Your friend,” Baekhyun repeated firmly. “This keychain was in the suitcase in the room you two were staying in when you graciously had someone follow us on tour when that’s strictly forbidden. It was broken off to obviously hide something. The photocards however were in the wallet from the desk, along with a Lucas one, so it seems highly unlikely that it was just coincidence. It’s from the Exodus album, so it can’t really be played off as a SuperM album card they just so happened to pick up for fun just by chance, it was pre-planned. I’m not stupid; I can put two and two together.” Baekhyun was generally a good guesser, speaking entirely too formerly and rehearsed to a T, and unfortunately he was correct. You had broken the keychain off and you weren’t proud of it, but that keychain was way past your mind the second it was off of your wallet and you hadn’t even noticed the missing photocard at all. “And dating?” Baekhyun scoffed. “You’ve known each other for like two months, give me a break.” He words felt harsh and Mark gulped. He couldn’t believe that Baekhyun would have gone through your things. It didn’t seem like his type.

“You…went through a suitcase that wasn’t yours?” He scoffed. “Were you, like, trying to find something?” Mark was irritated and there was no hiding it.

“I was, actually.” Baekhyun stated firmly, not caring what Mark had to say about it. He’d found his footing and was ready to throw it all on the table. “Something seemed fishy and I shouldn’t have done it, but it led me here.” The older shrugged. “You know what else was in that suitcase?” He asked, tapping his fingers on the table.

“What?” Mark asked angrily, rolling his eyes and he couldn’t believe someone he trusted so much was basically spitting in his face.

“Literally every one of our lightsticks.” Baekhyun squinted a little, not really liking the attitude Mark was giving him. “There was one for everybody and the only one I ever saw outside of it was the SuperM one. It’s not a good sign, man. You’ve been getting lied to and you got trapped into dating a fan, without even knowing. It’s happened to so many of us, dude and it’s devastating, like-“

“I-I-I-“ Mark sighed. “I honestly, like, don’t really believe you.” It was the first time Mark ever talked back to his senior, earning a soft laugh from him.

“I know you don’t, I’m not dumb.” Baekhyun shrugged, thanking the waiter when he’d dropped off the dessert and check. “But if you trust me, I know what I’m talking about. I looked into your friend’s Instagram and found some posts, stuff saying about how much you’re loved and all three of them, the ones that that threw the first party you went to, all bias you and Lucas. They got deleted but I have screenshots.” Baekhyun moved to pull his phone out but Mark quickly stopped him. Mark could swear he felt his own heart break.

“Don’t-don’t show me.” Mark shook his head, looking down at the table. Maybe Baekhyun was right. Mark couldn’t believe it; he didn’t want to. He was just stunned to hear that you’d been lying to him for months. He hated being lied to, everyone knew that, and he wanted to have just a simple relationship and when he thought he finally had it, the idea was slipping through his fingers. He didn’t want to be in the situation at all, he didn’t want to disappoint Baekhyun, he just wanted a little happiness and suddenly, he was very aware of how much trouble he had caused. He was scared, angry, confused. He didn’t know what to do.

“I have them if it eases your mind. It’s your choice.” Baekhyun shrugged, taking a sip from his drink and sighing. He wanted to let Mark process, maybe he’d feel better. “If it makes you feel any better, Taeyong knows and he think’s everything’s peachy, so.” Baekhyun shrugged, sighing.

“Wait, wait wait.” Mark scoffed. “Taeyong knew? And he didn’t tell me?”

“He didn’t want to hurt you, he liked how happy you were.” Baekhyun said honestly. “I didn’t really want to tell you either, but aren’t you glad you know?” Mark tried hard not to be appalled at the question.

“I-um,” He sighed. “I wish I could say yes, but, like, a part of me feels like I wish I didn’t.” Mark spoke honestly before he groaned, putting his face in his hands. “I’ve literally always been told I’m so naive and this really tops the cake.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Baekhyun asked, trying to push the solution on. Mark didn’t like figuring things out like this, but Baekhyun was ridiculously stubborn and he was going to want an answer before they left the table even if it was hard on him.

Mark was beyond answering that question, sitting in silence and ignoring the dessert on the table. He’d wanted it so badly before, but now his stomach was deceiving him. “I, like,” He sighed again. “I really don’t know.” In his head, the situation could have so easily been solved had you been honest with him, but he was there across the world, without you to talk to about it and you had to absolutely have been sleeping. He knew you had to go to work after he left and he hoped you’d had a decent shift, but he couldn’t lie and say he wanted to talk to you about it. He didn’t. He was the master of avoiding those kinds of situations, but he just needed some time to think. “I kinda think I should talk to Taeyong.”

Baekhyun nodded, shoving the plate of dessert toward Mark.

“No, thanks.” Mark shook his head, sighing and unlocking his phone to see that you’d texted him a few times. He didn’t have the heart to look right then, his head was much too fuzzy and he didn’t want to be mad at you so soon, but it felt like his whole world was crashing down in front of him even if it was all so new. He should’ve taken the time to realize that such an issue so soon should have been the end of it all, but he felt so wrong. He felt disgusted with himself. What would everyone else think? He’d put his friends in danger by introducing you in the first place. The room was spinning slightly and he didn’t know what to do.

“Let’s get you home.” Mark could only nod, following Baekhyun out after he signed the receipt.

The ride home was way too quiet, Baekhyun only turning up the radio to break the silence. Mark stared out the window and felt like a child having a tantrum, but he didn’t have the energy to do anything else. Mark shot Baekhyun a quick “thanks” when he pulled up to the dorms, letting him out and Baekhyun went home himself, hoping to at least hear from Mark soon about how he felt. He didn’t expect much, he did just crush the guy. Only time could tell what would happen.

#nct #nct smut #mark lee smut #mark lee #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct angst #superm ten #tommowrites #nctfic #unintentional

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