#it was all fake and for clout chat trust me

[littleittyburger]

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me <33

[nojey]

unnoticed

quackity / alex x streamer!reader

genre: fluff -> angst pronouns: they / them word count: 2.1k warning(s): cursing, suggestive jokes

synopsis: you had known alex since you started streaming but none of your viewers knew. you started getting closer and eventually you started streaming together but your viewers didn’t like that.

“(y/n)!” alex screamed into his phone after you answered the facetime call.  “yes, my love?!” you screamed back. alex giggled and asked, “do you want to stream sometime soon? i mean like, we’ve known each other for a few months and we haven’t streamed together, i know you’re a fairly new streamer but i even asked dream if you could come onto the smp, and i have something planned- well karl and sapnap helped me plan it- but that’s not the point, the point is-” he rambled.  “alex? are you asking me on a minecraft date?” you asked. “no! well, maybe, okay yeah. i’m asking you on a minecraft date.” he confirmed.  “i’d love to go on a minecraft date with you, alex.” you said, blushing a bit. 

truth is, you’ve had a crush on alex for a few months. when he first slid into your dms you didn’t really expect it, but it turned out to start a beautiful friendship. you always flirted with alex in hopes that he’d notice, but it never seemed like he did. he never retaliated back but little did you know, he was just too shy to.

“uh- okay great! tomorrow, at 3pm your time, stream it. we’re going to have a lot of fun. wear pajamas, or you know- just be comfortable okay?” he rushed. you laughed a bit and said, “yes alex, of course. bye now,” then smiled and hung up. 

you immediately went tot twitter and started a thread: @(y/s/n): this weeks stream schedule (times are pst): @(y/s/n): tomorrow @ 3pm: minecraft date w/ someone i haven’t streamed with yet  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ↳ @ quackity: i wonder who this might be hmMmMMmm @(y/s/n): tuesday @ 1pm: i somehow got invited to an among us lobby w/ corpse, sykkuno, valkyrae, disguised toast, quarterjade, masayoshi, peterparktv, jacksepticeye, and ludwig  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @(y/s/n): wednesday @ 1pm: if things don’t go well w/ person on monday- looking for a mc boyfriend! ↳ @ quackity: WELL THAT’S RUDE TO ASSUME THAT THINGS WONT GO WELL (Y/N) @(y/s/n): thursday @ 3pm: chitchat w/ nihachu !! @(y/s/n): friday @ 2pm: pummel party w/ ??

as soon as you tweeted all them out, you looked at replies and saw that quackity had replied to both monday and wednesday schedules. giggling to yourself, you replied back to him.

@(y/s/n): @ quackity way to make it obvious alex, if you wanna date me just say it (¬_¬) @(y/s/n): @ quackity how can you assume that it will go well alex (Ő-Ő) ↳ @ quackity: i just know (y/n)!!! truST ME!!!!

laughing once more, you plugged your phone into the charger and went to bed, excited for what alex had planned for you two tomorrow. 

getting ready for the minecraft date was very nerve wracking. the only thing you could think about was whether alex considered this a real date or not. deep inside you hoped that this was a real one. 

the ringing from your phone disrupted your thought. looking down on the screen you saw that the one person you were thinking of was calling you. 

“hello?” you answered. “hi, (y/n), are you ready?” alex asked. “uh, yeah, i just- i just need to start my stream and introduce what we’re doing.” “okay, um- i’m going to send you a link to the dream smp discord server. join it and join vc 4.” he replied.  “for sure, see you then.” you smiled. “see you.” he said and hung up.

“fuck,” you said and wiped your hands onto your pants. you definitely weren’t ready but still, joined the discord server and joined vc 4 then deafened. you set up your stream and hit go live.

“hey everyone! as you may know, if you follow my twitter, today i’m going on a minecraft date! uh no, no one knows who it is yet, but i have a feeling a LOT of you already know who it is.” you said, reading chat and wiggling your eyebrows.

“okay, i’m going to join the server and then share my screen when he’s standing in front of me.” you started playing some music so your viewers didn’t get bored while they waited for you to start. 

once you were logged into the smp you privately messaged alex and asked him where he was. before he could answer you turned around to look at the walls you were surrounded by and screamed out after seeing quackity’s naked body behind you.��

“chat, i’m okay, just got scared. um anyways, yeah.”  you said and showed your screen, revealing the man himself. “quackity!” you screamed into your mic. “jesus christ, (y/n) we can save screaming my name for later.” he said in a suggestive voice. you then started punching him and after each punch you said, “stop. saying. suggestive. comments. we haven’t even started the date yet!”  “okay, okay, okay! i’m literally going to die, (y/n) stop!!” he yelled out. you kept hitting him to see if he was lying but after the second punch quackity was slain by (y/mc/n) showed up in the chat. 

ranboo: i see that the date is going well

you started laughing uncontrollably while alex was silent. “(y/n),” he said in a more serious voice. you hummed as he continued his sentence. “why did you kill me?” “i wanted to know if you were lying. was that a canon life? i think that should be a canon life.” you laughed. “no it wasn’t a fucking canon life. (y/n) you’re not even an official member of the smp!” he said. “i could be,” you said wiggling your eyebrows and crouching up and down. “anyways. follow me, i’m bringing you to where we’re having our date.” so you followed him and when you reached your destination you were at party park with karl and sapnap standing in front of you. 

“hello boys. what are you doing here on our date. is this an amusement park date, quackity? i didn’t take you for that type of guy. it’s kind of cheesy.” you rambled. “no! this isn’t where our date is happening. jeez, have a little more faith in me (y/n).” he said, moving his minecraft character to look at you slowly and creepily. “well there wasn’t much to begin with,” you said, chuckling a bit. you heard karl and sapnap giggling to what you had said.  “hey! take that back!” quackity said, punching your minecraft character. you audibly gasped and turned to look at karl and sapnap again. “you guys saw that right? he just hit me.” you said, faking shock. they both quickly nodded their heads. “i can’t believe you would hit me on our first date.” you said, turning to look at him this time. “you literally killed me!” he yelled out.

so this went on for about 30 more minutes till quackity explained to you that your date would pretty much be a minecraft manhunt with quackity, sapnap, and karl hunting you but you had to find something instead of defeating the enderdragon. if they killed you and they won, you owed alex a real date. no stream, just them. 

“you’re going to hunt me for our first date?” you asked in disbelief. quackity then nodded his head up and down in a very fast motion. “mm cool,” you said as you punched him and ran away in a different direction.

it had been about 45 minutes and you killed karl and sapnap twice, but quackity had not been seen the whole time. but as you were running away from sapnap, quackity appeared in front of you and you faked trying to kill him, letting him just kill you because you wanted to go on that second date with him. 

(y/mc/n) was slain by quackity ranboo: date still going really well, looks like you guys are really hitting it off!

“awe man, looks like i have to go on another date with quackity!” you said. sarcastically faking the disappointment. reading your chat for the first time this stream, it wasn’t your usual happy messages. instead they were filled with negativity.

i don’t see why quackity wants to go on a date with them why did dream let them on the smp?? there are so many other content creators who deserve to be on the smp way more than they do they’re so fucking annoying begging for attention much?

so you grew quiet and just listened to quackity end off his stream while you ended yours without saying anything. but once he finished saying goodbye to his stream, you immediately said bye to him.

“i’m gonna go now alex, thank you for the minecraft date. text me the details for the next. bye.” you rushed.

alex found it really weird that you had just left like that, you guys almost always stayed on call after he finished streaming for at least 3 hours just talking. but he let it slide, hoping it wasn’t something he had done.

you went onto twitter to update about your streaming schedule. @(y/s/n): looks like my stream schedule may be moving around because i’m going on a second date with @ quackity!

alex quickly went to go reply to it but gazed over the replies to your tweet and wasn’t very happy with them. you don’t deserve to go on another date with him you’re literally just using him for clout what an attention whore leave him alone already!

knowing that you barely ever got hate, he quickly called you instead. thinking very hard about what he was about to do. looking at your phone you saw that alex was facetiming you, you wiped your face from the tears that had fallen and sniffled, hoping you didn’t sound too congested.

“hello?” you said. “hey um, i have to tell you something.” he replied. the serious tone of his voice got you very nervous. was he about to confirm everything your chat had told you or even the tweets you just read? “i really like you, (y/n).” he said. you looked at your phone in surprise and he continued. “and i really don’t know if you feel the same way about me but i read the replies to your tweet and i know that you’re a pretty new streamer and i just don’t want you to already be getting hate because of me, you don’t deserve that. you’re an amazing person and i just, i don’t want to be the reason you’re getting hate. so i think it’d be best if we just laid off talking to each other for now.” “i like you too, alex.” you whispered. “but i respect your decision. goodbye for now?” you said, offering a smile to the screen he was displayed on. it looked like he was just as shocked as you when he told you how he felt. “uh, yeah. goodbye for now. don’t be a stranger (y/n).” you smiled once more and hung up.

as soon as you hung up you started crying again. you really liked alex, but maybe you didn’t show that well enough, because if you did, maybe you guys would’ve been together at this point.

the next day, you streamed normally with a faked high energy that nobody seemed to notice, this time not paying attention to your chat. deep inside you really just wanted to curl into a ball and sleep all your stresses away. it really sucked to find out the guy you’ve had a crush on liked you back but he decided to end whatever you guys had going on.

but your chat couldn’t know so you kept a fake facade on, hoping no one asked about him.

though to alex, it looked like you were so unbothered by him pretty much ending your friendship. he started slightly believing the tweets that mentioned how you were just using him for clout. but after really thinking about it, he realized, why would you have been friends with him months before, without any of your fans knowing if you really were just using him. so he scolded himself and went about his day.

you were ending your stream with a big smile, as soon as you hit that end streaming button that smile was gone. you changed into a hoodie and curled into your bed. you just looked up at your ceiling and started crying, you pretty much lost the guy you really liked. your feelings being unnoticed by the public eye.

[1ddotdhq]

💐Fri 4 Dec ‘20 🌍

Cooking competitions were fought, flower shops were opened, petitions were signed, and today was all in all a lovely, gentle sort of day! 

Before last night’s Variety show, real!Harry popped back on instagram to tell Kid Harpoon that the producer award he got was “Fake News” and to “Stop the Count”. Look if Harry wants to keep showing more personality on Instagram I WANT TO SEE IT! Then Variety’s show aired, and Niall and Harry were “there”: Niall presented Lewis Capaldi’s “songwriter of the year” award (in response to it, Lewis thanked the other songwriters for “being a worse songwriter than me”), and Harry, of course, was the Hitmaker of the year! He was introduced by a lot of Big Industry People who all decided to say that they were, uh, so proud of him for leaving a boyband and becoming a rock star? Ah, good, that means it’s the “elitist music takes” segment of the hour. When are people gonna realize that shitting on a really successful, record breaking band in order to say nice things about Harry (one of its members!) is not the compliment they think it is. Nick Kroll's longer intro was at least more interesting, sharing some DWD set moments, confirmed that Harry is a ‘manly man’, and jokingly said that he and his wife and Harry have become a throuple (ANOTHER threesome? Really Harry?). Harry then showed up, looking pretty tired (he’s been doing very long hours, guys!) and wearing his dick banana necklace, and said, “Thanks to [my team] and everyone who supported me through it...thanks to the label for leaving me alone..this is...cool. Cool. I’m gonna get back in the studio”. Cool! 

Anyways, that discourse was quickly overtaken by the revelation that Harry DID pay his touring crew back in the spring when his tour was postponed: it came from a local Belgian publication in Ghent, where a man named Yves Van Acker has opened a flower shop (yes I DO think that this sounds like the beginning of a fairy tale!). Anyways, Yves has toured with a number of famous bands over the years, Harry being most recent. “The entire crew was suddenly out of work,” Yves said of Love On Tour’s crew, “But Harry Styles did not want to leave us. Each member was therefore paid an amount. A nice gesture, on which I decided to do something positive with this latest income”. A few things about this 1.) it was not just a nice gesture, it’s the Right Thing to DO! He’s paying people for work he hired them to do! 2.) It's wonderful enough to see, in fact, that it really isn't actually necessary to inflate: the employee told us that he received an amount, clearly a decent amount (enough to open a business), but we do not know if he was given his full wages. It sure is amazing though! And 3.) he named bouquets of flowers after Harry songs! He has “Adore You”, “Golden”, “Canyon Moon”, and “Ever Since New York”, but not, shockingly enough, “Sunflower Vol 6” - COME ON! It’s RIGHT THERE! Anyways, I adore Harry and I want everyone to know that - he does always do his best to be kind. 

Liam has a new COVER out, and one of my favorite songs: “Waiting on the World to Change” by John Mayer! The cover is for UNICEF Changemaker, and Liam says that he’s “proud to support them in any way I can”. Okay I’m a NERD so I’m about to rant about how this was the PERFECT song for Liam. The first is his RANGE: he gave the song a really gravelly, soulful sound that it deserves, and his falsettos are SO GOOD that he hits the high notes EASILY. The second are the LYRICS of the song! Literally: “It's hard to beat the system when we're standing at a distance” and “and when you trust your television, what you get is what you got; ‘cause when they own the information, they can bend it all they want”. UGH CHILLS! But that was NOT ALL for Liam, who made a guest appearance on Abby Robert’s YouTube channel in a cook off competition! They made roasted potatoes and Yule Logs (weird combo but okay), and chatted about Christmas traditions a bit. Liam said that he actually DOES do quite a bit of cooking on Christmas because he liked to watch the “tea” go down but not be a part of it (Liam do you read this blog? Was that a hint??). Anyways, he also said that he spends every Christmas with his son, because “Christmas is about kids” (Abby Roberts did a HARD eye roll it was very funny), he put out a fire (firefighter!Liam), and he dropped a boiled potato and lots of powdered sugar. Liam won for his potatoes and Abby won for the Yule Log, and *I* got really hungry. “Don’t set your kitchens on fire,” Liam warns cheerily at the end of the video. Yeahhhh, thanks for that! And now for Liam’s short but lovely content: his alarm this morning said, “It’s that Friday feeling” and then he and Roman talked about their holiday plans - Liam with his fam, Roman with his booze and Karaoke (“I’ll be doing strip that down in front of my mum”. Yeah, cuz that’s not weird at all), and they FINALLY released their bedtime story - It’s twenty minutes long and it’s called “Bedtime Bromance” (can’t wait to hear it!). He also posted an Instagram story of himself in a recording studio in Stockholm singing “Last First Kiss”. “Back to Where it All Started,” the caption read. :{) 

And now for Niall and Louis, both of whom are taking up some social issues! Sam Fender (who got into a bit of hot water yesterday for, uh, a joke about Louis’ fans and our key smashing tendencies alkdjfladj) called on the UK-based “Tomlinators” (lmao no <3) to sign a petition which requires local governments to have free helplines for the homeless and vulnerable. And, of course, fans got right on that and helped Sam reach his goal! Oh, wait, no, that DIDN’T happen - instead, fans jumped down his throat for, uh, clout chasing?? And they told him that he couldn’t get away with mocking us and expect us to HELP him!! YEAH GUYS! How DARE he try to use his influence to make a difference?? Anyways, Louis was clearly super mad, you could tell by how he liked the tweet, retweeted the petition, and then said, “Very important cause. If you’re a UK resident please sign!”. As of right now, the petition sits at 10,000 out of 100,000 signatures needed, so. Let’s get it done! Niall is also going to do some community work: he will be at Comhairle Na Nog’s meeting ( it’s an Irish child and youth councils in Ireland) on Saturday giving a shout out to the kids who have been working on projects and in their community despite lockdown. Awww, best of luck to both of them in their very worthy causes.

[thegalarianstarshowcase]

Judging: Ursula

 @heartists​​ Ursula! Your judging is here!

“Before anyone says anything I actually just want to get right to the point with this one.” Raihan said flatly. It had gotten to the point with Ursula’s appeal where he was paying more attention to the stream chat than to the actual appeal. Most of whom in the chat were also calling bullshit on this entire thing.

“I don’t buy for a single second this was for more than just clout, honestly.” Raihan continued on. “Like trust me I know what it looks like when someone does something for clout. I named my fucking Torkoal “Soup” because the stream chat chanted it.” 

“Raihan maybe we can be just a little-” Leon started to say.

“Nope. Already made up my mind on the judging I’m doing. Not changing it bro just to be nice.” he said flatly. “So first off, I don’t think this was appeal was visually interesting. The cage was kind of cool but honestly? It was just really fucking boring to look at. Not to mention that the toxic imagery was pretty cliche. Plus I’m not very into having your pokemon beat each other up for the sake of getting the point of the appeal across. Your aesthetics get a 4 out of 10 from me. The story was obviously just for pity points, and we can all see that. We didn’t need to hear you narrate your entire life story over the appeal. In fact I think i would have fucking bought your bullshit better if you didn’t say a word at all. Like the narration just made you sound even more fake. So I’m giving your story a 3 out of 10. My overall opinion for your appeal is another 4 out of 10 because yeah I didn’t fucking like it. I can’t even believe you would come out here with this fake ass shit after your own disaster of a contest.”

“For once me and Raihan completely agree. However I think Raihan is still being too generous. This right here is exactly why I believe this whole contest is a sham. Its clear people cannot change when the clear cut example is standing right in front of us. This whole horrid display shows that you, Ursula, have not changed one bit. Your little narration only meant to garner audience pity, you trying to show us how much you’ve been humbled. When in reality you were just knocked down a few pegs and can’t hope for any other way for your reputation to recover. So for all of this, Ursula. For all of this? You get a 1. That’s it, that’s the only point you get from me.” Piper scoffed.

“Its only because I can admit the cage imagery had to have some thought behind it. And because Spirit directly told me I can’t give a single person a score of zero. As much as I would love to score you absolutely nothing right now.”

“I...I knew Piper could be harsh, but Raihan? Really?” Leon said. “Me and Spirit can’t really be the only ones at the table who believe that someone can change. I know Miss Ursula here doesn’t have a clean past but are you really letting that condemn her score-”

“Actually if I could interject Leon.” Spirit said flatly. His gaze fixed on Ursula with a disappointed stare. Yet there was also something malicious behind it. Something that set Leon on edge.  “I don’t believe that everyone can change. That’s just plain naivety and I’m tired of pretending it isn’t. You may be able to bounce back every time someone ends up not being the person you thought they were. But I don’t like having to do so. Which is why I’m echoing Piper in giving Ursula a 1 for her score. Ursula, I was happy to welcome you to this contest. It was great to see you were embracing the concept of change but this and your outburst in my dressing room? It really proves to me you haven’t changed a bit since the last time I interacted with you.”

Leon frowned. That wasn’t Spirit- Spirit wouldn’t be so harsh. So calculatingly cold. Or...perhaps he would be, and Leon never had reason to see him do so until now.

″I suppose there is no way I could ask you to reconsider your scoring, Spirit?” he asked.

“No.” was Spirit’s curt reply.

“....Fine. Well Ursula, I believe you were genuine! At least where it counts. This was perhaps, after all you are trying to repent for, a bit too flashy to start off with. True redemption takes work, and I feel you have some more time to go before you’re really ready to be here announcing it to the world. Still your imagery and symbolism was well done! So I will reward your aesthetics a 7 out of 10. While I cannot relate to the story you told, I do appreciate that you were willing to tell it. Its still something deeply personal to you, that much is clear. So I’ll give you a 8 out of 10 for that category. And my overall opinion for your appeal is also an 8 out of 10. I do apologize for the other judges harsh comments...I expected it from some but certainly not others.”

“Oh put a fucking sock in it Leon.” Spirit spat

“Oh am I not allowed to say I am absolutely appalled with your behavior right now, Spirit?” Leon questioned. “You’re just- you are not like yourself! Its awful to see how you’ve been treating the contestants since we started judging again. Its like you don’t even believe in your own bloody contest anymore!”

“....Leon this is exactly why Rose could pull the wool over your fucking eyes so well,” Spirit replied. “You’re too trusting. You want to believe everyone can be a good fucking person and its wrong. Not everyone in the world can do that. Not everyone in the world is you. Hell you can be plain fucking awful sometimes yourself, you know that?”

“Spirit-”

“Don’t ‘Spirit’ me, Leon! You know its true.” he growled. “I swear its like you never looked past your own fucking nice and pretty life to realize some people can have it rougher. Some people can be fucking awful people and maybe they deserve to be. Maybe they have a bit of a right to be as cruel as the world made them. But because your life was so fucking perfect, you try and force that ideal on everyone else! Its no wonder you couldn’t see the shit Rose was doing. It’s no wonder you didn’t believe the shit he did to me-!”

Leon slams his hands on the table, a scream in his throat that refuses to come out. Before he simply stands up and walks away from the judge’s table. Spirit doesn’t go after him.

“....Please turn your attention to the board for your score, Ursula.”

Total: 36 POINTS

[silvergirl555]

Let’s start my first official post with some pet peeves.

•Trigger warning, mental and physical illness, if you are struggling with either one please talk to a trusted adult!•

•Royal high Roleplaying pet peeves•

-1. People who godmod.

For those who don’t know the term godmoding means to essentially try to completely control the roleplay.

So for example. Let’s make up some names here uhhhh... Emily and Sasha are roleplaying a fight scene. And Emily decides to type *hits Sasha and she falls back and runs away* this is godmodding, trying to control the outcome of the roleplay....tell me, what is the point of roleplay if your basically the only one doing it, and your just controlling the other person? Like you know how it’s gonna end anyway if you try to godmod, so why even bother.

Going back to the Emily and Saha example a proper way to avoid godmoding would be if Emily instead said *hits Sasha* and Sasha would follow up saying *dodges* or *falls back* then neither are controlling the other. Godmodders have to be some of the post annoying people in any kind of roleplay game and for some reason no one calls them out.

-2. The ODer

OD stands for “Online dating” and frik is it gross. Look idc if your roleplay a very innocent romantic relationship like G-PG rating. (Kids play this game, respect that) But if your legitimately trying to do the horizontal tango in game or legitimately trying find a romantic relationship through a video game, thats number one, really lowkey dangerous, you don’t know who is behind the screen. And number 2, only shows how actually desperate you are irl. Just to give you a heads up, the people who mainly try to do “it” in the game are 50 year old men trying to prey on little kids. So just putting that out there, be safe.

-3. The “iM dePreSsED!!!!!!😰😰😭😭😢😖😣😩😩😫😫🥺😖😣😣” roleplayer.

First off let’s make one thing clear, if you do have depression and you have been actually diagnosed with depression by a licensed professional, then my heart goes out to you! But DONT FAKE ANY MENTAL OR PHYSICAL ILLNESS IF YOU DONT HAVE IT. It shows so much disrespect to the people who actually have depression or any kind of mental or physical illness. Even if you do have some kind of DIAGNOSED illness, Royal high, or any online game is not the place to flaunt it. Again, let’s go back to the age gap in Royal high, while yes a lot of us are mature and know how to handle topics like depression or death, not all kids do, especially the young ones. They are triggers and you shouldn’t go flaunting them and almost normalizing any kind of illness. This also goes for roleplayers who roleplay abusive stuff and toxic stuff. You would not believe the amount of people I have seen who have said something like “my cousin has cancer! Pls vote for me at the ball!” Or “guys I’m depressed, pls vote for me!” Just don’t.... roblox is not the place to put your illness on desplay, it is simply a place to have fun and interact with others. (You also shouldn’t use something that serious as clout)

-4. The “I want attention!” Roleplayer

Much like number 4 but not as serious, just more annoying. And half of their vocabulary seems to be *cries 😭😭😭* and they spam the chat with it like people actually care....(often times their a noob too lowkey)

[maturedandlactoseintolerant]

January 4th 2020

Dear Isaac,

You’ll never see this.

Or maybe you will because you’ll hack into my account.

I never knew what love was until I met you.

And i’m devastated it’s had to end this way, my whole heart is bleeding because i realised you never really loved or respected me. I’ve seen what you really saw me as now. And that hurts the most. The lies are killing me, and I feel defeated and destroyed from the inside out. Now I just feel like a shell and I am lost. I am lost without you because I don’t know who I am without you anymore. I am so alone, more alone than I have ever felt in my whole entire life. In a completely different way. You became my rock and my constant, the person I leant on for everything in my life. And maybe i leant on you too much and suffocated you too and all my moods and emotions seeped into you and I dragged you down with me. 

I have so much hate in my heart for you, and it’s getting overshadowed by my love, because love has turned into hate because I feel so hurt and betrayed by how you have treated me. As they say actions speak louder than words and your words have fallen empty and disappeared across your actions. They are loud and clear. And it’s clear to me how you feel, you may love me in a way, but it’s not the love or respect I deserve.

I don’t why you felt so hurt to do this to me or even hated me this much because you knew what you were doing when you were in a relationship with m, you knew what it meant to be in a relationship. I don’t why I wasn’t enough for you. I will probably never know. But it’s hurt me so much, beyond how much I ever thought it would, because i really did love you. I loved you so much.So much enough to forive you for everything. But i just wanted to know the truth once and for all. But maybe even then if you had told me, would it have been enough to let me trust you completely like a normal person. I reckon no. That’s something i cannot change and I am sorry. I am human, i can’t be perfect and forget. But I guess that’s why you were still seeking attention elsewhere because i wasn’t perfect. And I’ve always strived for perfection. Maybe that’s my greatest downfall. Because nobody is perfect. 

I have to mourn the loss of not only you and your presence in my life. But our future and what we had planned together. From children, to holidays, to cars to gifts, to sucesses. To the music, to our own house where it would be like a sleepver with my best friend forvever and most important of all our love. We would have been so strong together. We were a team. You were my best friend, the only person I talked to everyday. But these things have happened and they are irreversible and what is done is done. 

I just wanted to feel the love I felt from you eveyday to have been real, I tried to pretend that it was, but everytime I was reminded of what you had done and I kept searching for more answers and evidence because I knew there was more. I knew. I’ve always known. Even when I first read your notes where it said I cheat because Im hurt. I knew you had cheated but i let you chat away the pain. But your words aren’t strong enough anymore, they’ve merged into every message you’ve sent other girls. They sound the same as the ones you sent them and I know your love for them was fake so I therefore feel your love for me was on the same parallel. Fake. That hurts the most, that i am just another person. I am not special. 

You’ve made me feel unspecial, unworthy of being loved, you’ve locked me onto a pedestal that you have driven into the ground. And now I don’t even know who I am anymore. 

I miss you so much right now, I just want you to hug me and tell me it’s all a nightmare. But it’s real. It’s all real. Everything. And it hurts more than ever. I didn’t want to become this insecure and pathetic person. But that’s what I’ve become. Angry. So much anger and hatred, disappointment, sorrow and sadness. I am just so sad. I wish it could all go away. I wish time could fastforward this painful part and I could be happy again. I am unhappy without and i am unhappy with you. 

I really wish I had been enough for you. 

You called me clout chaser and I really don’t know why, or wherwe you get that idea from. If it’s because i like recieving likes on instagram, then who doesn’t. it’s starnge because that’s my job to create beautiful things that people love. But you hated me for it. I felt your despise for me, your despise for me locking you into a relationship you never wanted to be in. Your despise for being a hoe, which I don’t agree i am. You made me fat so other people wouldnt be attracted to me but then i saw your loss of attraction to me too. You wanted me to be slimmer, you meant well I guess but the way you would day it came out all wrong. who tells someone they love to stop eating. You saw me as an object, you only loved me more when that picture went viral. You only appreciated me when you saw sucess in the magic i made for you. I gave you my everything. but what did you give me. You loved me by caring for me like a pet. You cared about my wellbeing, ill give you that. You made sure i was okay but really and truly I never was after that night i found out in Morroco. I was just a comfort to you, a teddy bear you could have every weekend or any night without fail. I gave too much of myself to you, that I lost myself. 

It hurts, everything just hurts. But most of all I wish I knew the truth, I wish you were the person I thought you were in my head, but you are someone else . and I cannot change that. 

I am sorry i tried to. 

You were my best friend, how could you do this to me

[jessicakehoe]

Texture Talk: Celebrity Hairstylist Kahh Spence Chats Wig Maintenance and Caring for Curls

Welcome to Texture Talk, our weekly column that celebrates and deep dives into the dynamic world of curly hair, from crowns of curls that are free flowing to hair that’s tucked away in a protective style. This week, a textured hair expert to the stars shares his dos and don’ts when it comes to wig and curl maintenance.

If you haven’t heard of Kahh Spence, keep scrolling.

At just 25 years old, Spence already counts superstars Kehlani, Cardi B, Ella Mai, and Yara Shahidi as clients, and is the founder of his own unisex beauty brand. Known mainly for his custom wigs, the Brooklyn-born, self-taught hairstylist and OGX Beauty brand ambassador is behind many of Cardi B’s ever changing looks, and shares that his first encounter with the female rapper was the year before the juggernaut’s meteoric rise to fame with the release of her single Bodak Yellow.

But the rising Brooklynite’s real break came a few months later when R&B singer Kehlani asked him to join her on tour. “Probably the second time I worked with her she asked me to go on tour, and I’ve been working with her ever since,” he says. Spence credits the clout of social media for gaining him his celeb visibility; it is the way Cardi’s publicist reached out to him, after all, he reveals.

“I feel like it’s opened over 112,000 peoples eyes to me,” he says of his amassed following. “They get to see me, what I do, who I work with — they get to experience everything.” Since December 2018, Spence has been posting self-shot hair tutorials that have been racking up thousands of views — reactive proof that people are hungry for hair diversity. Playing with all types of hair textures and hairstyles, the pro can basically do any style imaginable — all while showcasing Black hair in its full glory.

Below, we spoke to Spence about wigs and natural hair maintenance, plus all his favourite products.

FAKE HAIR, DON’T CARE

Thanks to a slew of female celebs who wear faux locks proudly, and hair masterminds like Spence who are pushing the hair conversation forward with informative tutorials, wig-life is no longer merely hush-hush gossip among Black women anymore. But contrary to what many believe, wigs aren’t simply a grab-n-wear deal. “You definitely want to treat your natural hair under your wigs,” says Spence. “I think the misconception with wearing [them] is that you can go months without touching your protective style, but you want to make sure that you keep conditioning it every so often [and] trimming your ends — doing everything you can to treat your natural hair.” As for what to do with your own hair under the wig to avoid daily manipulation and breakage (aka the protective style mentioned by Spence): “Just cornrows,” he recommends. “Straight back, super simple.” Lastly, a hairpiece isn’t something you can just toss around and expect to stay looking on fleek. “Treat them like your natural hair,” says Spence. “You need to wash them, store them, and make sure the hair has some air and moisture.”

The Product Heroes: When wigs are the game, Spence reaches for OGX’s Argan Oil of Morocco Conditioner for a double-duty boost of hydration, he says. “I use [it] as a conditioner for extensions and to treat natural hair.” As for a go-to finishing spray that gives wigs a natural, lived-in feel without weighing strands down, he loves the Natural Finish Aspen Extract Dry Texture Spray. “Say you’re doing some type of curl style or even a straight style, just spray a bit of [it] to keep the hold a little longer.” When you’ve put the time into styling your mane to perfection, there’s nothing worse than creepy crawlies that break away. Spence’s secret to keeping flyaways at bay is a good control paste. “My ultimate fave is the Natural Finish + Aspen Texture Molding Paste,” he says. “It serves multiple purposes: flyaways, styled edges, baby hairs — every little thing.”

  Courtesy of OGX

Courtesy of OGX

Courtesy of OGX

1/3

Fake Hair, Don’t Care

OGX Hydrate & Revive + Argan Oil of Morocco Extra Strength Conditioner

($11, Shoppers Drug Mart)

Buy Now

2/3

Fake Hair, Don’t Care

OGX Natural Finish Aspen Extract Dry Texture Spray

($11, Shoppers Drug Mart)

Buy Now

3/3

Fake Hair, Don’t Care

OGX Natural Finish + Aspen Texture Molding Paste

($11, Shoppers Drug Mart)

Buy Now

  The Tools To Use: In the world of human-hair wigs, the heat tools you reach for to style your hairpiece are just as important as your products. Considering how much of an investment some of them can be, the last thing you want to do is ruin the strands. Opt for professional-quality tools, preferably with temperature-control dials. “I love, love, my flat iron from Theorie. I’ve been using it for the past three years and it hasn’t given out on me,” raves Spence. The pro is also a huge fan of the Dyson Supersonic Hair Dryer, plus the unique tapered barrel of GHD’s Curve Creative Curl Wand for flawless curls. And note: a good heat protectant is a must. “It helps hold [the look] a little longer and it protects the hair.”

Courtesy of Amazon Canada

Courtesy of Dyson

Courtesy of Sephora Canada

1/3

The Tools To Use

Theorie Saga 1” Flat Iron

($190, Amazon)

Buy Now

2/3

The Tools To Use

Dyson Supersonic Hair Dryer

($500, Dyson)

Buy Now

3/3

The Tools To Use

GHD Curve Creative Curl Wand

($249, Sephora)

Buy Now

  TEXTURE TEASE

Natural hair isn’t just one big coily category. “Some people think everyone’s curl pattern is exactly the same,” says Spence. “I’ve had situations where I’ve worked with girls who have 4C curl types, and they’ll tell me they like to use a certain product. I’ll be like, ‘I’m not sure if this works on your hair because you have a lot of buildup, or your curls aren’t as defined as they could be.’ It’s about knowing where your curl stands and finding products that work for your texture.”

The Product Heroes: Decoding your own curl and its unique characteristics takes a bit of exploration (and some trial and error with products, tbh). A go-to curl definer for Spence is OGX’s Locking + Coconut Curls Creamy Mousse ($10). “That helps, especially when wanting to add moisture at the root but also giving the rest of the hair a [hydrated] feel,” he says. It’s also a favourite to layer over a curl cream for extra definition and bounce. “It doesn’t weigh heavy on the hair,” he adds. “I think that’s been a problem for people; they don’t have products that are lightweight.”

Courtesy of Shoppers Drug Mart

The Tools To Use: Finding a friendly hairbrush for thick curls that won’t rip out massive clumps isn’t the easiest feat. Spence’s go-to is his trusted Denman brush, he says — a tried-and-true tool for a wicked wash-and-go style. “I usually section the hair in fours and then use my Denman to brush through [damp] hair. I’ll then apply some conditioner, a bit of curl defining cream and then brush through it again.” Certain highly-textured curls and coils can take, like, FOREVER to air-dry so for a faster drying time (bonus: and a little more bounce), Spence reaches for his handy Dyson Supersonic magnetic diffuser attachment. “I love every piece the blow-dryer comes with.”

Courtesy of Amazon Canada

Courtesy of Dyson

1/2

Texture Tools

Denman 7-Row nylon bristles styling brush

($15, amazon)

Buy Now

2/2

Texture Tools

Dyson Supersonic Diffuser

($44, Dyson)

Buy Now

  The post Texture Talk: Celebrity Hairstylist Kahh Spence Chats Wig Maintenance and Caring for Curls appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

Texture Talk: Celebrity Hairstylist Kahh Spence Chats Wig Maintenance and Caring for Curls published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

[socialattractionuk]

Essential tips for online dating in lockdown (and the pandemic dating trends to watch out for)

Embrace the joy of getting to know each other from a distance (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Being single and actively looking for love in lockdown is strange… mostly because you can’t actually leave the house and meet anyone.

Physical intimacy isn’t a possibility (unless you smooch your housemates), but you can still date amid the coronavirus pandemic – just go to your usual online dating spots and build up the chat until you can meet IRL.

This new normal comes with its own hurdles. There are new dating trends to look out for, new challenges to overcome, and all the emotions of living in a crisis will have an impact.

We chatted to Rachael Lloyd, the relationship expert at eharmony, to get her wisdom on how to navigate these new choppy waters of dating in a pandemic.

Here are her essential tips.

Get creative

No, you can’t just go for after-work drinks or do dinner and a film.

But you can still do proper dates – just think outside the box.

‘Virtual dates don’t have to be boring,’ says Rachael. ‘Use technology to visit a virtual gallery, join a virtual book club or simply watch your favourite Netflix flick together.

‘These activities will be a good barometer for compatibility further down the line and give you the chance to show off a bit of personality ahead of meeting IRL.’

We’ve written a handy guide to a great video date, so do read that before booking in that FaceTime sesh.

Beware the pandem-ex

Rachael says: ‘One in five Brits (21%) have been contacted so far by a former love, a pandem-ex, during lockdown – but it’s best to resist temptation and see the approach for what it is.

‘There’s often a valid reason relationships break up, from a fundamental lack of compatibility to shifting priorities or betrayal.

‘So, if an ex comes virtually knocking stay true to yourself first.’

Video calls are a must (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Embrace being able to get to know each other

Don’t think too much about what you’re missing out on (physical touch). Instead, embrace one of the benefits of dating in lockdown: you pretty much have to get to know each other on a deeper level before you get swept up in snogging each other’s faces of.

Schedule in some proper chat sessions (eharmony has a new video dating function for exactly this, but you could also use Zoom, FaceTime, HouseParty, or even the humble phone call) where you can talk for an hour or more.

Enjoy that oldschool thrill of flirty messages and talking all night. It’s kind of lovely to just talk.

‘While conversation should flow if you have chemistry, don’t be afraid to plan a few conversation topics in advance,’ Rachael recommends. ‘Not only will this help you avoid any awkward silences but allow you to find out exactly what you would like to know about a potential new match.’

Remember it’s okay to be single

If you’re not in the mood to date, don’t force it. Lockdown can be the perfect opportunity for solo time.

Rachael says: ‘Bear in mind being in a relationship isn’t the be all and end all and just because you have extra time on your hands, doesn’t mean you need to be having four virtual dates a night.

‘Instead, a bit of self-reflection may well make you realise that you have been chasing the wrong people, or could actually do with a bit of time on your own.

‘Take things at your own pace and trust your instincts.’

Ditch comparison

You know full well that comparison is the thief of joy, but the temptation to measure your experience up against others’ highlights on social media is even stronger in lockdown.

Remember that for every cutesy date night you see on Instagram, there’s an argument borne out of desperately needing some space from a significant other.

‘Don’t beat yourself up because you see friends or family in happy relationships,’ says Rachael. ‘This will only give rise to more feelings of pressure and dent your confidence.

‘The pandemic has impacted relationships too; couples who have only recently just met have had to move in together with no prior warning and many established couples are getting cabin fever.’

Dating terms and trends, defined

Blue-stalling: When two people are dating and acting like a couple, but one person in the partnership states they're unready for any sort of label or commitment (despite acting in a different manner).

Breadcrumbing: Leaving ‘breadcrumbs’ of interest – random noncommittal messages and notifications that seem to lead on forever, but don’t actually end up taking you anywhere worthwhile Breadcrumbing is all about piquing someone’s interest without the payoff of a date or a relationship.

Caspering: Being a friendly ghost - meaning yes, you ghost, but you offer an explanation beforehand. Caspering is all about being a nice human being with common decency. A novel idea.

Catfish: Someone who uses a fake identity to lure dates online.

Clearing: Clearing season happens in January. It’s when we’re so miserable thanks to Christmas being over, the cold weather, and general seasonal dreariness, that we will hook up with anyone just so we don’t feel completely unattractive. You might bang an ex, or give that creepy guy who you don’t really fancy a chance, or put up with truly awful sex just so you can feel human touch. It’s a tough time. Stay strong.

Cloutlighting: Cloutlighting is the combo of gaslighting and chasing social media clout. Someone will bait the person they’re dating on camera with the intention of getting them upset or angry, or making them look stupid, then share the video for everyone to laugh at.

Cockfishing: Also known as catcocking. When someone sending dick pics uses photo editing software or other methods to change the look of their penis, usually making it look bigger than it really is.

Cuffing season: The chilly autumn and winter months when you are struck by a desire to be coupled up, or cuffed.

Firedooring: Being firedoored is when the access is entirely on one side, so you're always waiting for them to call or text and your efforts are shot down.

Fishing: When someone will send out messages to a bunch of people to see who’d be interested in hooking up, wait to see who responds, then take their pick of who they want to get with. It’s called fishing because the fisher loads up on bait, waits for one fish to bite, then ignores all the others.

Flashpanner: Someone who’s addicted to that warm, fuzzy, and exciting start bit of a relationship, but can’t handle the hard bits that might come after – such as having to make a firm commitment, or meeting their parents, or posting an Instagram photo with them captioned as ‘this one’.

Freckling: Freckling is when someone pops into your dating life when the weather’s nice… and then vanishes once it’s a little chillier.

Gatsbying: To post a video, picture or selfie to public social media purely for a love interest to see it.

Ghosting: Cutting off all communication without explanation.

Grande-ing: Being grateful, rather than resentful, for your exes, just like Ariana Grande.

Hatfishing: When someone who looks better when wearing a hat has pics on their dating profile that exclusively show them wearing hats.

Kittenfishing: Using images that are of you, but are flattering to a point that it might be deceptive. So using really old or heavily edited photos, for example. Kittenfishes can also wildly exaggerate their height, age, interests, or accomplishments.

Lovebombing: Showering someone with attention, gifts, gestures of affection, and promises for your future relationship, only to distract them from your not-so-great bits. In extreme cases this can form the basis for an abusive relationship.

Microcheating: Cheating without physically crossing the line. So stuff like emotional cheating, sexting, confiding in someone other than your partner, that sort of thing.

Mountaineering: Reaching for people who might be out of your league, or reaching for the absolute top of the mountain.

Obligaswiping: The act of endlessly swiping on dating apps and flirt-chatting away with no legitimate intention of meeting up, so you can tell yourself you're doing *something* to put yourself out there.

Orbiting: The act of watching someone's Instagram stories or liking their tweets or generally staying in their 'orbit' after a breakup.

Paperclipping: When someone sporadically pops up to remind you of their existence, to prevent you from ever fully moving on.

Preating: Pre-cheating - laying the groundwork and putting out feelers for cheating, by sending flirty messages or getting closer to a work crush.

Prowling: Going hot and cold when it comes to expressing romantic interest.

R-bombing: Not responding to your messages but reading them all, so you see the 'delivered' and 'read' signs and feel like throwing your phone across the room.

Scroogeing: Dumping someone right before Christmas so you don't have to buy them a present.

Shadowing: Posing with a hot friend in all your dating app photos, knowing people will assume you're the attractive one and will be too polite to ask.

Shaveducking: Feeling deeply confused over whether you're really attracted to a person or if they just have great facial hair.

Sneating:When you go on dates just for a free meal.

Stashing: The act of hiding someone you're dating from your friends, family, and social media.

Submarineing: When someone ghosts, then suddenly returns and acts like nothing happened.

V-lationshipping:When someone you used to date reappears just around Valentine's Day, usually out of loneliness and desperation.

You-turning: Falling head over heels for someone, only to suddenly change your mind and dip.

Zombieing: Ghosting then returning from the dead. Different from submarineing because at least a zombie will acknowledge their distance.

  Do you have a story of love in lockdown? Get in touch to share it by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

Share your views in the comments section below.

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