#it was unintentional but like i do think that scene is her true moment of villainy

[ladysophiebeckett]

marcela does a lot of cruel things throughout the series but i think her true moment of traditional telenovela villainy is that dinner she has with margarita and patricia, (the day betty gets made president) where she basically states 'yeah i know armando is still in love with her and i know beatriz is still in love with him but she believes everything in the letter and she has no way to disprove it. and armando has no witnesses to speak on his favor.'

and she's very smug about it:

in marcela's head she believes the only one she's really hurting by withholding this information is beatriz, how armando feels is not even much of an afterthought. marcela puts herself and her needs first. which is understandable. she has no incentive to help beatriz and why would she? she sees beatriz as the reason why her relationship with armando deteriorated even tho it's actually more complicated than that.

of course armando knows he doesn't have witnesses or anything to prove that in middle of everything he did truly fall in love with her and he's not going to ask anyone for help. mario offers to talk to her (tho not seriously) and even patricia says mario could tell betty the truth but marcela knows betty would never believe the author of the letter.

her only goal is to keep armando by her side. i dont know if she knows that she's hurting him or if she justifies her own actions as a consequence of his past actions towards her. or maybe its something she knows she's doing but doesn't care. (im gonna let the audience decide that bc im not even sure how i feel about that).

we see armando go through hell after betty disappears but when she returns he never once thinks to tell her about what exactly happened after she went away. he only says 'all the damage i did to myself' but never elaborates and betty never asks. it's deliberate that armando never tells her about his state of mind during that period of time bc he knows that to do so would be seen as a form of manipulation. that's not how you prove to someone that you've changed. and that's aside from him knowing that she would never believe him. (bc we know she wouldn't). he loves betty and although he's not yet at the point of truly understanding just how much pain and damage he's caused her, he would never want her to take him back bc she feels sorry for him.

meanwhile, way before the truth of the embargo happens, marcela tells him she would never survive him ending their engagement. that it would just as bad as when her parents died.

his face is immediately affected and she knows. she knows that the only way to keep him is through manipulation. and later on, participating in the act of withholding information that could help him, but again she doesn't see it as helping him. and never actually does. when she gives beatriz this information, it's actually in her attempt to save the company her father co founded. bc up until the last minute she was still holding out hope that betty's indifference to armando would push him back to her. not understanding that armando's changed indefinitely. he's not going to be manipulated by her again and he's not going to stoop to his past behaviors bc it never did him or anyone any good to begin with.

[comradekatara]

Ok we should talk more about sokka and aang because these two dumbasses are adorable together! Underrated relationship

The gag with Katara and blind Toph in season 3 is still the funniest scene in the series lol

yeah their friendship very cute. i like how when they're left to their own devices their respective adhd tendencies combine, that feels very true to my relationships with my friends who also have adhd lol. it's also just really adorable how through aang's sheer lovability, sokka learns to loosen up a little and appreciate life (somewhat, sometimes) in a more relaxed, content way. aang is a really good and highly valuable influence on everyone around him, especially as he counteracts the logic of war and its necessity for violence, which is an ideology sokka not only heavily subscribes to, but to which he attaches his very personhood. aang reminds sokka that he is still a child (he reminds katara of this too, but it happens in the literal pilot, whereas sokka's journey to literally enjoying himself ever is far more gradual and grueling). aang reminds sokka that he is human.

that said, i do think that people tend to be reductive when talking about the value of their relationship. not to single you out specifically, but i do kind of take umbrage with the notion (perhaps unintentional) that all their dynamic is good for is being adorable and funny. calling them "dumbasses" because they can be silly and goofy sometimes, or scatterbrained and absent-minded. i genuinely think that aang and sokka constitute one of the most interesting foils in the entire show. normally when we talk about character foils, we talk about characters who are positioned in opposition to each other, but aang and sokka are fascinating because they're allies (and friends) who nonetheless approach the same problem with the same intentions and the same goals but from completely different angles.

in many ways, sokka is aang's most distinct opposite. but first, to address their similarities: they're both victims of a genocidal imperialist project that has burdened them with a responsibility to their people that they are too young and barely equipped to handle; they are both expected to shoulder this burden easily by those around them due to their nature as "gifted" child prodigies with distinctly unique skillset and an unprecedented ability to absorb and apply new information that they learn at a genuinely abnormal rate (remember that aang is not just the avatar, but an incredibly prodigious avatar at that; he mastered all four elements within less than a year by the age of twelve, whereas most avatars take at least another four years to master their elements); they are both the "leaders" of their small guerrilla militia of child soldiers, and they take turns giving each other guidance and trusting and following the other's lead; they both consider katara the central figure in their lives and love her with an almost obsessive devotion; they both repress their grief and other unpalatable emotions through humor and constant distraction, and sometimes even depersonalize entirely when they feel that their goal is more important than retaining their humanity (sokka does this more frequently, but when aang does it, it's more blatant); and of course, they both harbor massive guilt complexes for the devastating tragedies (largely beyond their control) that have shaped their lives, and are constantly replaying those moments of "failure" as that of acute shame to motivate themselves as they strive to rectify and "atone" for their past errors.

so, as you can see, reducing their friendship to "adorable dumbasses" is already not very interesting. to me, the best aang and sokka scenes aren't the ones wherein they are playing and goofing around together. those scenes are sweet and charming, of course, but the best aang and sokka scenes are the ones wherein sokka is positioned as the logical consequence of aang's grief. wherein present-day sokka becomes the worst case scenario for a hypothetical future aang. in many ways, their friendship is incredibly bittersweet, because it is also punctuated by moments wherein sokka threatens aang's entire value system and quote-unquote "innocence" through attempting to mold him into a Man Of War the way he does those hapless toddlers in his village. for all that sokka is remarkably open-minded and receptive to new ideas, he cannot see past the limits of the world he was born into and the mechanisms and assumptions of violence he was forced to internalize and embody. aang is, of course, totally unique in his ability to not only envision a world beyond the war (i would argue that katara has the ability to do this as well), but also to have actually experienced it. and so it is truly a testament to aang's resilience that he is almost entirely impervious to sokka's ruthless, militaristic logic, even as sokka constantly attempts to enforce it.

i have a much longer post in my drafts about how aang and sokka are positioned in "the serpent's pass" (one of their best episodes in terms of their dynamic, also just a highly underrated episode in general), so i'm not gonna get too much into it here, but katara's relationship to aang as paralleled with suki's relationship to sokka is really fascinating in this episode for the ways in which it also positions katara's grief over witnessing aang's attempt to detach himself from his grief to focus on his goals and aang slipping into "sokkahood," and the absolutely devastating implications of what that must mean for katara. i think there's a strong case, in general, for the reading of katara attempting to replace her lost childhood (with sokka) through aang as he represents a vehicle for her overly idealized nostalgia (much like how zuko projects onto aang and views him as a vehicle to return to that site of his overly idealized childhood), and thus, quite literally, replacing sokka with aang. to katara, aang possesses what sokka has since lost, or perhaps something he never got the chance to have in the first place. and that isn't to say that katara views aang as a brother, but rather that katara longs for companionship in any form, and what is aang if not the ideal companion? so aang's grief and rage scares her not only because it pains her to see someone she loves so deeply in so much pain, but also because it reflects her own pain back at her, as someone who has lost so much, including family members (also including kanna and hakoda) who are, ostensibly (at least physically), still alive.

one of the most fascinating scenes between sokka and aang in the entire show is when sokka straight up attacks aang for burning katara in "the deserter." katara is very clearly affected by this beyond simply the physical pain; being burned by the weapon that killed her mother is explicitly triggering for her, and she retreats into herself and sobs like a child (she is a child, but you know what i mean. an even younger child). and sokka in turn is triggered by katara being triggered, because his entire existence revolves around his oath to protect her, and she was just hurt by the one person to whom she stakes all her hope and pride and joy and affection above all. aang obviously understands the gravity of this accident immediately; it of course wasn't intentional, but he nonetheless takes full accountability and apologizes sincerely. but sokka only calms down somewhat once he knows for certain that katara is okay. and instead of going to find katara as she sobs, he spends all his focus on yelling at aang, throwing him to the ground, more furious than we have ever seen him. and in a way, it's clear that he's also furious at himself, for having let his guard down around and trusted aang, and for his failure to perform his primary duty, protecting his sister. the fulcrum of aang and sokka's relationship is, necessarily, katara. she is the force that brings them together, and the person who is most important to either of them, but she also person who connects them in her mind, and so our perceptions of them as the audience are primarily informed by her perception of them as the narrator.

moreover, sokka's advocacy for killing zuko (in "the siege of the north") and ozai (in "sozin's comet") constitute two more fascinating scenes with aang, for the way in which sokka does not even find the act of killing something to flinch at, let alone an absolute betrayal of core principles and values the way aang does. killing is simply not something sokka feels guilty about, despite the fact that he seems to carry guilt over simply existing a lot of the time. and that juxtaposition, between aang and sokka playing together, of sokka learning how to have fun and entertain his little friend, versus sokka chastising aang for refusing to commit murder, is what makes their relationship so compelling. when people reduce their dynamic to its most comedic and innocent mode, they are reducing their roles as they embody two opposing relationships to violence, and how that reflects their ideological positions as someone who has subscribed to imperialist logic insofar as his values have been shaped by war, as opposed to someone who knows through his own experiences to refute that logic by any means necessary. when we talk about aang helping sokka to regain his humanity, it is crucial to understand specifically how sokka lost his humanity in the first place, but also why aang specifically is so crucial in counterbalancing his logic in a way no one else alive actually can.

ultimately, if sokka represents the voluntary auto-dehumanization of the colonized subject, then aang represents the potential of preservation and even reclamation of humanity and the imaginative potential of a world[view] beyond those colonial limits. their ideological conflict is not simply one of what it means to be human within a colonized paradigm, but what it means to exist at all.

[violet-shadows]

Low on Hope (Part Two)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Masterlist

Summary: The youngest of the Archeron sisters went to great lengths to keep her family afloat before her sister went over the wall. The nature of her sacrifice was a secret she vowed never the share. That is, until Feyre and new brother-in-law’s magical abilities spoil her plan to leave the past in the past. When old memories become fresh wounds again, it’s up to a certain Spymaster to help piece Y/N back together. 

Word Count: 3.4k

Pairing: Azriel x Reader (She/Her)

Warnings: violence, prostitution, sexual assault, sexual violence, PTSD, food insecurity, unintentional weight loss

A/N: Thank you for the support with part one of this series. I plan on wrapping up the main story in the next part, though I may do a bit more with this storyline in the future, like write some scenes from Azriel’s POV. 

⊱ —————— ❈  —————— ⊰

The months that elapsed between Feyre’s disappearance over the wall and your dip in the Cauldron were maddening. You hadn’t been home when Tamlin stole your sister away, having gone to the market in search of honest work only to be turned away once more. When you returned to the cabin, you found Elain and your father in a trance-like state, wholly undisturbed by Feyre’s sudden absence. Nesta looked stricken, her face paler than you’d ever seen it, but when you pressed, she insisted Elain and father’s version of events was true: Feyre had gone to care for an ailing, distant aunt.

Your suspicions mounted when, not a week later, a gentleman showed up at your doorstep with a lucrative business proposition. The timing was too convenient and you worried about your missing sister. Still, Nesta kept her lips sealed about the truth of what had happened the night Feyre left. It wasn’t until she returned some months later that you learned the truth of it and after Feyre left for a second time to go Under the Mountain, you and Nesta got into an earth-shaking screaming match over her deception. You were enraged, and she was indignant

“What would you have done differently, if I’d told you the truth.” She demanded sharply. “Gods, Y/N, would you have even believed me?”

“Of course, I would! And what would I have done differently? I would have gone after her, Nesta. I would have done something to get our sister back!”

“And that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you! You’re young and naive and you think yourself a hero!” She spat, “You wouldn’t have lasted one day on the journey to the wall. You don’t know what it’s like out there!” Later, when you thought back to the moment, you would realize Nesta’s words carried an undercurrent of fear. In her own way, Nesta had protected you with the lie, even if you preferred she didn’t. In the heat of the moment, however, all you could see was red. You wanted to scream at her, grab her by the neck and tell her just how much you knew about the darkness that lay outside your mansion walls. You wanted to cry and rage and tell her every awful detail of the things you’d done and seen and been put through. But that was a secret you could never take back, and you knew your family would never look at you the same.

Since the Archerons rejoined high society, you had taken great care to become a recluse, lest you run into a former client while socializing. Your refusal to interact with the outside world irritated Nesta to no end, but you were stubborn. You conceded in some areas, allowing her to dress you in fine clothes and assign you a tutor. You had lots to catch up on, she insisted if you were to be a proper lady. You didn’t mind all of it. Learning to read and write and do arithmetic was something you had long since craved. But the lessons on etiquette and homemaking were tedious, especially when you knew you would never be the lady Nesta wanted you to be. But you didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth, so you went through the motions, compromising to stave off her growing insistence that you join her in socializing.

You had already put too much effort into maintaining your secret, so when Nesta spoke out of turn and accused you of being naive of all things, you held your tongue. Red in the face, you turned heel and left an equally steaming Nesta behind. You waited until you were alone in your bedroom, then you wept. You wept for your sister who was once again lost to the Fairy Realms. You wept for Nesta, who had carried the truth alone for so long, all in the name of protecting her remaining sisters. And you wept for yourself, for all you had lost and all you could have been.

You and Nesta never spoke about the argument again, both either too stubborn or too scared to bring it up. You didn’t trust yourself to talk about it further without your secret coming tumbling out, so you did as you always did and bottled the hurt along with the rest. When you were thrown into the Cauldron after the terror and shock wore off; you secretly felt some relief at having been freed from your old life. Now separate from the human world, your past could stay buried forever.

Perhaps that was why you accepted your lot so quickly. You knew Nesta likely felt betrayed, with Elain catatonic, she was alone in her resentment for Feyre and the rest. She’s tried to talk to you about it, to sus out why you grieved your humanity so little, but you shut her down, claiming you were too tired to continue to harbor ill will for something that couldn’t be undone. It wasn’t entirely a lie either, because, despite your newfound immortality and strength, you were simply tired.

⊱ —————— ❈ —————— ⊰

You didn’t sleep after Azriel left your room, afraid you might slip back into the nightmare. Selecting a book from the growing pile on your nightstand, you spent the night reading about Prythian history. Your eyes burned but you were determined to stay awake, at least until the morning light chased off the worst of the specters haunting your dreams.

A knock sounded on your door in the mid-morning hours, pulling you from your sleepless rumination. You considered ignoring it and feigning sleep, but if it were Mor or Nesta, they would soon be barging in regardless. “Come in,” you called out, your voice rough from disuse. To your surprise, the figure who stepped through the door was not Mor or Nesta or even Feyre, but Azriel. He was fully clothed now and freshly bathed, his dark hair still damp. In the daylight, standing before such a beautiful creature in nothing more than your nightgown and unbrushed hair was far more intimidating, and you resisted the urge to cover yourself like a scandalized maiden.

“I wanted to check on you,” he lingered near the doorway, shifting from foot to foot ever so slightly. Azriel’s penchant for propriety was yet another one of his endearing qualities. “You weren’t at breakfast.”

“Oh, yes, I slept in,” you both knew it was a lie, but Azriel didn’t call you on it. “I’m fine, thank you for checking on me last night.” Just like the night prior, there was a part of you that ached to tell Azriel the truth, and the instinct unsettled you. You had been lying to your sisters about your well-being for so long that it was second nature. Around the Shadowsinger, though, you felt the mask of placid composure begin to slip. It was in those moments, when the admission that you were not okay was on the tip of your tongue, that you reminded yourself Azriel was the Spymaster, adept at interrogation. It was his job to get people to talk, nothing more.

“Cassian already spoke to Nesta,” he began. “He offered to train her, but she said no. I wanted– we wanted to see if you were interested.”

“In training? With you?” You raised an eyebrow and you could swear you saw Azriel’s cheeks darken. “Wouldn’t I just slow you down?”

“I wouldn’t mind. We wouldn’t, really. It might be a good idea to have some self-defense skills and I figured it might make you feel better after everything and…”, you had never seen Azriel so inarticulate, stumbling over his words as he rushed to explain. Somehow, it made you like him more.

“When do we start?”, he looked stunned for half a second before breaking into that barely-there smile of his.

“Tomorrow morning,” he said, his usual calm returning. “At sunrise.”

“Isn’t that a bit early?” You asked.

“No better way to start the day,” he made for the door as he spoke. “See you tomorrow, Sunshine.” You tried not to let your heart flutter in your chest at the nickname, reminding yourself once again that Azriel’s relationship with you was an obligation and nothing more. Even still, it was hard to keep from grinning once you were alone again.

You didn’t see Azriel for the rest of the day, or anyone else from the Night Court’s Inner Circle, for that matter. Running low on distractions, you spent most of the afternoon in the company of Elain, alternating between reading aloud from various books and sitting in silence. After several hours in the oppressive atmosphere of your sister’s chambers, the lightness you felt after speaking with Azriel was gone. When you tried and failed once more to coax your sister into eating something, your resolve crumbled. “Elain, please,” you choked out, gripping both her hands in yours. She looked at you, finally, but her eyes were still empty, holding no trace of your kind older sister. “Please, you have to snap out of this.” You felt your voice shake, then, and had to take several calming breaths to keep from crying. When she didn’t respond, you stifled a sob and made for the door, intending to switch out with Nesta so you could breathe fresh air and calm down. When you opened the door to her room, the person on the other side was entirely unexpected.

Feyre told you Lucien had come to stay in the House of Wind, but you hadn’t paid much mind to the male until you were face to face with him. Your last memory of him was over a month before, of him and the blonde Fae who started this mess, Tamlin, looking on while you and your sisters were robbed of your humanity. He had seemed genuinely opposed to the king’s choice in test subjects, but you trusted him little all the same. Especially after he had declared that the female whose door he now lurked outside of was his mate.

“What are you doing here?” You hissed, recoiling at the sight of the redhead. Protective anger bubbled forth as you recalled the way Elaine had shuttered on the floor after being spilled from the Cauldron. He may have offered her his jacket then, but his de facto alliance with Hybern was not excused in your mind. Underneath the indignation of finding the male in the hallway, another emotion surged forth, threatening to come to the surface: fear.

Lucien seemed to sense your apprehension and stepped back, throwing up both hands in a motion meant to appease. He had the decency to look bashful, at least. “I was just passing by to check if she was… the same. I’ll take my leave.”

Despite your instincts screaming at you to run, you retorted, “That’s none of your business.” The venom in your voice was very Nesta-like and perhaps the most passion you’d displayed since you came to Prythian. “She wouldn’t be here at all if it weren’t for you.”

The look on his face was one of genuine hurt. Perhaps it wasn’t fair to make such an accusation. From what you’d been told, Lucien had no part in you and your sisters’ abduction and had done what he could to right that wrong since. But he was as close to a culprit as you had yet encountered and would do quite nicely as a scapegoat. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, for what you and your sisters went through,” he said quietly. “I understand why you’re angry.”

You wanted him to say more, to make excuses that you could rip into, but he didn’t. Instead, he remained stock still, his shoulders slightly hunched, the way one might when confronted with a frightened animal. Unlike Nesta, who could simmer with rage til the end of time, you found it difficult to hold onto your flares of temper. Familiar, cold, apathy crept up again and you turned, wordlessly leaving the male. This move seemed to surprise him and he called out after you, “You know, it’s a bit hypocritical.”

The flame of anger flickered with life and you turned, casting an expectant glare at him. He went on then, “To beg Elain to eat and look after herself when you’re not doing the same.” Once again, you found yourself grasping for a retort and finding nothing. Lucien wasn’t wrong in his assessment. While you may have been more functional than your older sister, you were still a mere ghost of your former self. You avoided the mirror when you readied yourself each morning, the apparition of a rail-thin, ashen Fae so at odds with your own self-perception that it shook you to the core each time. You turned to leave, unable to craft a satisfying response when the irritating male spoke once again.

“Come have dinner with me.”

⊱ —————— ❈ —————— ⊰

Perhaps it was the creeping loneliness that came from being around a sister who wasn’t really there, or maybe you just wanted to prove him wrong. Either way, when Feyre and Rhysand returned to the house that evening, you were seated at the dinner table with Lucien having a surprisingly civil, if stilted, conversation. Both your sister and brother-in-law seemed surprised to find the two of you together, exchanging an unreadable look before joining you at the table. Mor and Azriel followed close behind, the latter of which paused in the foyer, his eyes darting between the male and your plates. “You’re eating,” Mor sounded surprised.

You rolled your eyes, looking at Feyre as you assured her, “I do eat.” You shot a look at Mor, “it’s required to sustain life.” She’d said it to you on your third day in the Night Court, shortly before dragging you to the dining room for your first proper meal in many days. She paused now, as you threw the words back at her, then broke into a bell-like laugh.

“Did you just make a joke?” She grinned. “Perhaps Lucien is a miracle worker.” You brushed her off, resisting the urge to say it was your plans with Azriel, not Lucien, that had lightened your spirits. You were interrupted, however, by Azriel, who was uncharacteristically loud as he stalked towards the table, pulling out a seat next to you. A glance to your side told you his face was twisted into a cold glare, hands flexed into fists at his side. He said nothing, though, and before you could read into it further, Rhys had redirected the conversation.

You weren’t sure what history Azriel and Lucien shared, but if you had to guess, Elain was likely at the center of it. You wanted to believe that Azriel resented him for the same reasons you did, but you feared there was more to it than that. The care Azriel showed your older sister in recent weeks was telling and you had to wonder if jealousy might be the reason for his barely contained hostility. Elain was beautiful and kind, her light contrasting with Azriel’s shadows in a way that was almost poetic. You had to admit, they would make an attractive pair, even if the thought made you sick.

You didn’t hang around to watch the posturing much longer, abruptly excusing yourself from the conversation. The thought of Azriel being infatuated with your sister made your heart clench, no matter how much you reminded yourself that it wasn’t your business. You didn’t emerge from your room that evening, not even to check in on your sisters. The heaviness in your chest and accompanying shame too great to face. Sleep, as always, did not come easily and when you finally drifted off in the wee morning hours, you found yourself once again trapped in your dreams.

The dream was the same as before, with you being dragged across stone by your final “client” towards a vat of swirling liquid. This time, the dark water bubbled as if it was boiling and you cried out in terror, clawing desperately at the hands tangled in your hair. When he reached the Cauldron, you could feel the heat rolling off of it and you began to sob as you realized your fate. “Does anyone object?”, the man asked smugly. It was only then that you realized you had witnesses and you looked up, bewildered. You were still inside the brothel bedroom, though it was far bigger than the real version. Several paces away, standing in a semi-circle, were your family and allies. You cried out for Feyre, then for Nesta to help you, disturbed by the indifference on their face. When that failed, you searched for Elain, hoping to appeal to your sister’s compassion. When you spotted her, though, your cry fell silent, breath leaving your lungs as though you had been punched. She was leaning against the male at her side the way one might cling to a lover, her expression icy as she observed you. The male, a tall, winged warrior with shadows curling over his shoulders, met your eyes with a contemptuous glare. You sobbed, Azriel’s betrayal the most cutting of them all.

In Hybern, despite his grave injury, Azriel had thrashed and cried out in objection as you were hauled towards the Cauldron. He was barely clinging to life, and still, he would have fought until his last breath to spare you and your sisters. His expression of anguish was the last thing you remembered before being forced beneath the surface. Now, in your dreamscape, he looked almost pleased as your captor hauled you to your feet by the hair.

“They know what you did,” he whispered, one large hand gripping your jaw. His hot breath brushed your cheek and you gagged. “Time to cleanse this filth,” he crooned, pulling you the final few feet towards the Cauldron. You screamed as you were forced inside, head first into the boiling liquid. The heat was suffocating and you swore you could feel skin being peeled from muscle as you were cooked alive. Just as you opened your mouth the let out one final scream, hands were on your shoulders, pulling you from your scorching doom.

The pain faded, replaced by an uncomfortable but bearable sense of warmth. Someone was calling your name over and over and the large hands shaking your shoulders became increasingly insistent. You opened your mouth the cry out but produced only a strangled whimper. A hand came up to feel your face, recoiling as the owner called out to someone behind him. Something about a fever. You opened your eyes, catching sight of a blurry, winged figure hunched over you before everything went black.

When you woke again, the terror had faded and you were no longer overheating. Someone was holding your hand, their thumb brushing against your knuckles in a soothing motion. When you opened your eyes, you saw Feyre at your bedside, with Rhysand hovering nearby. Nesta stood sentry at the end of the bed, her arms crossed like a captain ready to command a ship. Behind Rhysand, in the corner of the room, stood Azriel, his expression unreadable in the low light.

“What happened?” Your cheeks heated as you recalled your screams from the night before. Had your outburst been loud enough to wake the entire house this time?

“You had a bad dream,” said Feyre. Under normal circumstances, you might have teased her for stating the obvious, but neither of you were in the mood for banter. “You unleashed some sort of pent up magic. It was like you had a fever, but worse.”

You gave her a quizzical look and Rhysand stepped in to elaborate. “Magic, if not expressed, can come out in unexpected ways. It seems the Cauldron has given you powers, but with nowhere to go and no training, they came out like… that.” You blinked mutely, unsure how one should respond to the news that they possessed some sort of hidden magical ability. You certainly didn’t feel powerful. On the contrary, you felt quite helpless.

Rhysand seemed to read your mind, or perhaps he actually did. You weren’t sure how his daemati abilities worked and you were frankly scared to ask. “Magic takes practice to learn about and control. We’ll work on it,” he assured you. “For now, we should let you get some rest.”

Feyre squeezed your hand, offering a concerned smile, and the rest of your visitors filed out. Azriel remained silent, his form almost entirely concealed by a wall of shadows, and after a moment, he too exited the room. You weren’t sure if it was exhaustion from your pulse of power or the comforting shadows that seemed to linger in the corner of the room, but for the first time in a long time, you were able to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

⊱ —————— ❈  —————— ⊰

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[gfriendunited]

Singer-songwriter Yuju On “Dalala”, Liberation And Staying True To Herself

A member of once-famed girl group GFRIEND, singer-songwriter Yuju says one of her most liberating moments is when she strolls down the bustling streets of Gangnam, going unnoticed by anyone.

With a cap over her head and mask covering the face, Yuju says she often goes on such night strolls in the glitzy neighborhood to get closer to the people and feel the energy.

It was on one of those nights that her new song, “Dalala” was born, the singer recalled during an interview with local media on Tuesday. As she watched people with earphones passing on the streets, the first few lines of the song popped up in her mind.

“Dalala” is a song about such liberating sensation. At the same time, it turned out to become a source of liberation in itself, the singer explained.

The new digital single comes six months after she put out her second EP, “O” an autobiographical album reflecting on the emotions she’d experienced in her nine-year music career.

The exhausting production process nudged her into trying something more freewheeling. She found herself humming casually as she tried to release herself of thoughts.

“When people hum a melody that they don’t know the lyrics to, they usually sing ‘dalala.’ That became the first inspiration. Because my previous album was such a contemplative one, I wondered what I would get if I went for the complete opposite and emptied my mind. The song started from such simple curiosity.” Yuju said Tuesday.

“Dalala” is the first song that Yuju has been credited as the main composer and the sole lyricist. The singer recalls this was possible because she didn’t pressure herself to make a song but jumped into the process naturally.

“It was a sort of uncertainty, now I think of it. I didn’t believe I was ready to write my own title track and since there are so many other talented songwriters. For the first time, I broke out of the box and composed. I was confident that this time it was mine.” she said.

The song is a pleasant and easy-listening tune, but Yuju says the process of creating was not a breeze. To deliver her genuine emotions, the singer attempted self-recording for the first time.

“There are ups and downs. I could sing however I wish, but that way, I might get swept by emotions and lose the objective ear. I struggled to keep my balance, while at the same time, holding onto that initial spark in my heart that had turned into this song.” Yuju said.

The music video was an incarnation of the subtle infusion of her reality and fantasy, she said. She worked closely with the music video director to convey her ideas onto screen.

“There’s a scene where I’m dancing alone inside an empty lift. Then someone gets on, and I freeze, embarrassed. Like that, the music video conveys that, although I act as if I’m unconcerned about others, I’m actually not. I suppose it’s something I can tackle with time as I get to know myself better.” she said.

All her music is a reflection of her current self, and despite the song’s cheerful mood, Yuju wanted to make sure that the song and the music video was not portrayed as lighthearted.

“As unintentional as its start may have been, the song was inspired from an idea that resulted from my most pensive period in life. I stressed to the director that I wanted the gravity to show in the beginning and the end of the film.” Yuju said.

Just as “Dalala” had released Yuju from her own bounds, she hoped the song could free listeners, even for about three minutes.

Debuting solo in January 2022, around seven years since her 2015 debut as part of the now-defunct group GFRIEND, Yuju now feels she can rely on herself. The budding singer-songwriter said her goal is to define her own musical genre – “Yuju’s genre” – through her upcoming solo career.

More important for this genre, rather than the musical talent, is staying true to her virtues, she said.

“Music in essence is about empathy, and to do that, I need to strive to stay down to earth and compassionate with others.” she said.

“As an artist, I hope to be independent, capable of making my own music. I’ve always revered people who have a genuine passion for what they do, and I hope that is how I could be perceived in the future.”

[nozomijoestar]

On a completely speculative note about Asulili, what do you think their relationship is like at home? I really want to know how close they are at this point. I wonder if they are at a stage where they do hug each other or hold hands, or one using the others lap as a pillow. I feel like Lili deep down is so soft for Asuka. I feel like Asuka's the type to act like she's mad about having her head on Lili's lap and getting her hair stroked but her protests are so weak that they're laughable.

They're so funny I feel like they bounce back and forth between being all over each other and just stewing in it from across the room. Shifting from intentional to unintentional affection and back too as easy as changing hats. I've written several scenes like this but say for example one is just doing her skincare routine and the other is looking at bicycle mags and they're both giving each other looks in between, which builds to comments, which may or may not build to sitting next to each other with their arms over each other's shoulders or something. Or Asuka coming over and leaning and smiling while she watches Lili work.

That's affection and touching without really thinking about it, and teasing each other over one feeding the other at dinner so that it escalates into play fighting etc. Or not touching at all but definitely looking until someone breaks into action. Then being more direct is straight up going for it whatever the contact is and not breaking it or stopping till it gets too much or something snaps them out of it.

They at the very least are holding hands in canon. 100%. Asuka of all people let Lili drag her away by the hand to keep her from fighting Devil Kaz because Asuka is insane enough to think she could just go for it. I love that Lili seems like she knew Asuka would do that and immediately went to get her bf to stop her from dying lmao. The fact Asuka let her and held her back makes it feel normal now or at least accepted. There's probably other small touches they get away with; I hesitate to assign anything bigger just because we got no FUCKING scene showing how deep they bonded they just ARE being friendly now for literally any reason. But that's just bad writing and I don't like saying something is true when I can't find reasonable evidence enough to take an educated guess. I laugh though just imagining the fucking third wheel XiaoJin and Panda were on that walk to the air strip for Lili's jet because you just KNOW that Lili would have turned it into a lecture/argument on why Asuka shouldn't have tried going for Kaz before they make up over it on the plane. And everyone else there stuck in the couple's argument has to decide how gay what they're looking at is.

Everything else is kinda fair game since we don't really know. Hugs however I feel are reserved for intense moments of emotion. But Lili absolutely has a soft spot for everyone she cares about or wants to care about (Her father, Sebastian, even trying to be connect and be concerned for Eliza in Eliza's 7 ending despite that going nowhere) and Asuka would be no exception. When she wants to give Asuka affection well Asuka's just gonna have to deal with it unless she expresses that she's genuinely not in the mood. But if she's not genuinely furious then 100% I also see Asuka as playing up annoyance or being fake mad or her anger simply melting before returning the favor or letting Lili give her affection. It stops being worth it to stay angry at her. She puts up a half hearted fight meanwhile Lili laughs and chuckles in her face knowing the truth. Oh you hate it this much? Then why are you leaning into my fingers through your hair? lol. Asuka too has to soften up herself around someone caring about her specifically. Up to this point nobody but Asuka's dad has shown her affection or cared about what she's doing- because everybody threw her away after Feng and the Jin family connection.

They're both very gentle with each other if they'd let themselves be, both openly and making it part of their little game of pride imo. Even in things like sparring I get the sense they never intend to actually hurt each other seriously, we'd probably have seen that or gotten dialogue about it if so, it's pure games at this point. It's also a mutual test of each other's abilities; in Lili's 7 ending Asuka actually says "This sucks but I can admit it's my loss!" which means hot head Asuka ISN'T taking this the same as fighting gang boys. She's not fighting to pummel and subdue she's fighting to enjoy the challenge. It's one fighter to another and if Lili proves herself better then Asuka can put her pride aside to admit that. Her unique victory line against Lili says "It's my win but feel free to come at me again." (more literal translation). In both 7 and 8 she tells Lili this time they'll settle everything. To me that sounds like she gives her and their fights a level of respect and restraint. It means something beyond I'm Good You're Bad I Punish You. And should someone (most likely Lili let's be real) get hurt to a level that makes it uncomfortable then the first aid comes out after the fight. If they're already holding hands then by Tekken 9 we will see marriage even more PDA casual or not I bet you.

EDIT: The fact Asuka has to be provoked at all to fight Lili and now in 8 she has lines remarking on changes in Lili's strength/technique is a massive indicator that she doesn't equate Lili with how she fights boys. When Asuka has fought boys SHE is the one doing the provoking (see her TT2 ending because it's the only direct glimpse we get on how she handles gangs) while technically you can say "Asuka isn't provoking people she's just telling them to not fight" YES BUT- she deliberately uses a belittling tone and patronizing language in doing so. Pay attention to the way she phrases things. In Japanese she even directly calls what the boys do "being an eyesore". She also doesn't explain why they shouldn't hit each other in public beyond it's just a bad thing to do. She talks as if either she herself has a simplistic view of the situation (ie. Her child like moral view in general) or as if she's purposefully talking in a way to provoke the kinds of people she knows will be provoked to hitting her this way. Or both.

Now I might include this in La Vie en rose i'm not sure lmao

[chickindinner]

Hey! Today I’ll be going over more proof that Mike had a gay awakening at the end of season 3. When we think of the ending scene of season 3, we think of eleven kissing mike while his eyes are WIDE open, will and mike sharing not one but TWO hugs, will sobbing like crazy and mike avoiding eye contact with eleven, mike staying back and looking at wills house sadly and mike going home and hugging his mom (which is a direct parallel to the scene where mike hugs his mom after finding out that will is “dead”)

I already went over these scenes in my previous posts, but today I’ll be going over some of them again. This time, I’ll be talking about hopper’s letter and how it relates to byler.

This is the first shot we get of Will and El leaving Hawkins. Let’s pay close attention to Hopper’s letter in these scenes. Here, Hopper talks about how’s he’s been feeling distant from El. This also applies to Mike. Mike has been feeling distant from Will.

Mike feels like Will is pulling away from him. He feels like he lost him.

“Maybe i feel like i lost you or something”.

Then they show scene’s of hoppers cabin, which has nothing to do with Mike and Will. Then it cuts back to Mike and hopper says that he feels like things are changing. In Mike’s case, his feelings for Will are what’s changing. Some argue that Mike is sad because Eleven left, but that’s not true. What hopper says in these scenes directly applies to Mike and Will. Mike does not feel like things are changing between him and El and he doesn’t feel like El is pulling away from him or that she’s distant, because she literally kissed him and told him that she loved him moments before she left.

Mike realizes that his feelings for Will have changed. They’re not just friends anymore. What he feels for him is different, and that’s what scares him. He doesn’t want to feel that way. When Hopper says “I don’t want things to change” they show Mike biking away and then it cuts to Will crying in the car. Don’t you DARE say that Mike feels this way because of ELEVEN. This is about byler.

Mike goes home and he looks like he’s in shock. He is so confused he is so gay he is so clueless he is so sad he is so angry and he is so closeted.

He wants to stop that change. He wants his straightness back. Mike (internalized homophobia) Wheeler is NOT willing to come to terms with his homosexuality. Not today!

Mike hugs his mom the same way he hugged her in season 1 when he thought he lost Will. He thinks that he lost Will again.

“Maybe i feel like i lost you or something”

He wants things to go back to how they were. He wants to be in love with Eleven and he wants Will to be his best friend whom he plays D&D with in his basement (Will wants this just as much as he does obviously).

Oh and also not to mention this was also a part of Hopper’s speech. This was right after “I don’t want things to change”

These parts of the speech are LITERALLY about Byler. Conclusion: there is absolutely no way that any of this was unintentional OR meant to be about MILEVEN.

[shipcestuous]

Even Emma D'Arcy said that "Rhaenyra was groomed as a child" by Daemon. ... *sighs* I'm... disappointed to say the least. 😒 Is everyone working on this show against Daemyra? Do they even look at the material, and do they even *know* what grooming is? It's getting tired. (I also feel like there's an issue with writers who write incest ships/actors who play the characters... talking shit? Saying just... *UGH* things? Maybe it's a defense tactic because of raging antis? Idk. 😒

[x]

E tu, Emma?

I think in the case of HOTD that they're afraid that a bunch of impressionable young women are romanticizing Daemon. Or maybe they've got some ugly stuff planned, and they just want the shippers to be ready for it. Which, I really hope not.

And they might have gotten some backlash for telling an uncle/niece love story, so they're doing a bit of damage control. Saying something sympathetic to incest is guaranteed to get some nasty responses, so I understand it. And like you said, I think we see that with actors playing characters in incestuous relationships a lot, they don't usually have a lot of supportive things to say. But this grooming commentary goes a little too far. (And again, I would argue is not an appropriate use of the word.)

I mean, I think it's fair to say that in some ways he used her. It's fair to say that her best interests weren't always his #1 priority. Why not just say that?

I mean, look at that brothel scene. Daemon takes her there I think for several reasons, but yes, likely to compromise her reputation. (That wasn't my reading from watching the episode but the writers have said it often enough.) As we saw, the two of them didn't even need to have sex for there to be consequences, and I'm sure he knew that, so he didn't really need to 'groom' her, he just needed her to go somewhere with him. But what happens? Rhaenyra is hot to trot and it freaks Daemon out so he takes off running. What kind of groomer behavior is that?

I'm fine with what was on the show, so as long as all of this doesn't affect the writing for season 2, then whatever.

But it's annoying.

How many times have I seen one of the writers saying that Daemon choking Rhaenyra was their favorite scene, or something like that? I mean, WTF. It wasn't just Ryan Condal. Someone else was definitely like, 'I love that moment'. It really does feel like there's a media campaign against Daemon/Rhaenyra.

I don't know, maybe they feel like what came across on screen didn't represent the story they wanted to tell. I mean, it felt too good to be true while it was happening, too romantic, too love story, so I almost have to believe it was writing fumbles and actor chemistry and bad editing and studio interference and whatever other unintentional things. So now they're trying to make up for it in the press. But I really hope not.

They definitely get some perverse joy out of occasionally stabbing people with 'Daemon bad' reminders.

I'm pretty sure I saw an interview with Emma D'Arcy and Olivia Cooke in which they were asked which character they wanted to go on a date with and I think they both said Daemon. The groomer.

Anon #2: Does the term "grooming" have any meaning beyond "flirting/dating that I don't like"? Most descriptions of grooming seem to be basically be common practices except they're bad in this context. For example, getting to know someone and establishing trust with them before you have sex—that's pretty normal, and under most circumstances would be called "dating". Giving gifts to your love interest—again, pretty normal and usually called flirting or dating. Is there any real categorical difference?

I think a lot of the misuses of the term would be almost indistinguishable from regular friendship or courting behavior. Like in that initial ask I mentioned that the supposed grooming behavior was, I would argue, just Daemon being a good uncle!

(Obviously I don't want to downplay real grooming, which involves intentional manipulation towards a child for the purpose of sexual abuse, and is a really bad thing.)

[janfraiser]

Hi! Can you do “ i don’t know if i’m ready to be a mom/dad/parent… “ + Don and Sloan?

you are literally heaven-sent for sending this with perfect timing for me to distract myself during my latin lecture, ily ❤️ consider this a belated valentine's celebration fic!

Don comes through the door fully prepared with a bouquet of roses and a box of assorted muffins, but unfortunately, his timing is just a little off, and Sloan is already sitting at the kitchen table. "You're up early," he says, kissing her cheek and setting the box of muffins on the table. "Happy valentine's day."

Sloan hardly reacts even when he steps away from her, searching for a vase for the roses. "I'm late."

"Hon, it's just past six am, normal people shouldn't even be awake right now."

"No, Don." She holds up her calendar and the small foil packet that he's pretty sure is her birth control. "Late as in, late on my period."

He feels his jaw drop and his eyes go wide. "Uh, what?"

"I missed two days at the end of my second week of birth control, this month," Sloan says, chewing her lip and staring at her calendar spread out in front of her. She's not looking up, even though Don has abandoned all vase-searching in favor of staring at her. "Just because other stuff was hectic, I guess-- I barely even remember what was happening that week. But the placebo week of my pill is, like, over, and I haven't had my period at all, and I think-- maybe--" her next breath is audibly shaky as she covers her face with her hands. "I think I might be pregnant."

"Shit," he says, and then winces, because he doesn't think that's quite the response she's looking for. "Okay, well. That's... not a big deal?" Again, he winces, probably visibly-- he sounds like an idiot, and not remotely reassuring.

"Don."

"I know, I know-- but hey. Shouldn't you take a test or something before we both start freaking out?"

"Yes," she agrees, nodding sharply. "Right. Good idea."

It's a great idea, right up until the test is positive.

He can't look away from it, but Sloan is staring at him, her gaze strong enough that he can almost feel it burning him. "Don... say something," she says slowly, her voice low and shaky.

"Sloan--" he cuts himself off, pressing his knuckles against his mouth, because fuck, he's not the kind of guy who knows what to say at a time like this. "I love you," he says, and that feels like it falls short but also he needs her to know that, because that's always true. "I love you, and I don't wanna let you down." He squeezes her hand, tight. "I don't know if I'm... ready to be a dad."

Sloan squeezes his hand back, her nails biting slightly into his palm, and he thinks this feels kind of metaphorical, that they're trying to cling to each other in this new bizarre scene but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt-- he's gotta be crushing her knuckles, too.

"Fuck, Don, I don't know if I'm ready for this either," she admits, blinking fast. He hopes she doesn't start to cry-- he won't be able to hold it together if she's crying. "It's-- a lot. Any way you slice it." She inhales and exhales slightly, and he moves closer, wrapping his arm around her as he hears how shaky she is.

"Then we just take baby steps," he suggests, before groaning at the unintentional wordplay. Sloan laughs, too, at his slip-up, and he rests his head on top of hers, soothed by the sound. "What do you need me to do, Sloan? 'Cause I hope this goes without saying, but I'm here for you, no matter what." He holds her tighter. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you," she mumbles, turning to press her face into him. "I don't want you to go anywhere."

"You're stuck with me, babe. I promise."

"We have to go to work."

At first, that feels like a non sequitur, but after a moment Don sees it for what it is-- Sloan focusing on the immediacy of what's in front of her when faced with the scope of... this.

"Yeah," he agrees. "At some point."

"Hold onto me a little bit longer?"

He kisses her hair. "As long as you want."

[waheelawhisperer]

OK, context-warped fic occurrences guessing game, here goes nuthin': Ruby eating Blake buns; accidental love triangle; odd Schnee romance notions; Winter doing Bad Stuff; Adam masculinity crisis; RWBY reading time; middle-aged dude fistfight; Ruby winning a duel; and of course Weiss tragically biting a guy.

Ruby Eats Blake's Buns - full credit - Ruby steals Blake's lunch because she's a little gremlin, but I deliberately phrased it so as to make it sound like Ruby's eating Blake for lunch instead.

I Accidentally Create A Love Triangle And Just Kind Of Run With It - no credit - I didn't actually misrepresent the context in any way here. I was writing a fight scene and chose a series of words that flowed naturally at the time and then the realization that Character A was in love with Character B (and I don't mean crushing, I mean the type of full-blown I-would-die-for-you romantic love that makes you want to spend the rest of your life with someone) hit me harder than a hundred-car coal train out of Wyoming's Powder River Basin. This was a completely unintentional development and I actually had different romantic endgames for both characters involved, but I'm not going to scrap it because it feels right (not necessarily as an endgame, but right for the place Character A is in at the moment). I'm not sure precisely how I'm going to handle it going forward, but it's going to recontextualize a lot of planned interactions in upcoming story arcs and there is going to be so much pining.

Weiss Has Strange Ideas About Romance - full credit - I phrased this to make it sound funny, but it's very true in context. To elaborate, Weiss thinks her sister needs a boyfriend, but the way she envisions the interactions between Winter and her potential beau is heavily informed by her distinctly fucked-up upbringing as part of the Schnee family.

Winter Schnee Does A Very Bad Thing - half credit, I think - I deliberately misconstrued the context here, but it wasn't to be funny, it was to obfuscate the fact that in a moment of extremely justifiable anger and betrayal, Winter Schnee does something she really shouldn't and makes a mistake that has long-term consequences on both the narrative and other characters and also has a lasting effect on her own psyche. As of the latest moment in the current outline, she considers this action her greatest failure and a deep source of shame that continually haunts her.

Adam Taurus's Masculinity Is Questioned - half-credit - this is actually serious and in fact a very polite way of phrasing it, I did not make any particular attempt to spin this, but you get points anyway because I think mocking Adam is funny. Anyway, his opponents repeatedly target his masculinity, which is fundamentally tied into his ability to project power and control, in order to goad him into making mistakes and undermine his influence over his partisans in the White Fang.

Team RWBY Read Together - no credit - this is just a straight-up description of events that happen in the story. I wanted to both expand the universe's lore and give Team RWBY the chance to interact in a relatively low-stakes environment that allows me to focus on cute character interactions. I was trying to portray the bond that the show likes to insist the main characters have and never took enough time to explore during the Beacon Arc so that it felt natural later. I also wanted to try writing in a different style than usual, and this gave me the chance to do that.

Two Middle-Aged Men Get In A Fistfight (And Have To Be Broken Up By An Adult Half Their Age) - full credit - I deliberately presented this as a humorous event, but what actually happens is that Qrow tries to put my OC's father in a rear naked choke because my OC's dad is a jackass whose personality Qrow believes would be significantly improved by fatal oxygen deprivation.

Ruby Defeats A Human Opponent In A Duel - half credit - This is a fully faithful representation of what happens in the story, but the summary is also poking fun at Ruby's general poor performance against human opponents. Fortunately for her, she manages to win a spar against another student despite one of the teachers observing the match deliberately trying to screw her over.

Weiss Bites A Man (Tragic) - full credit - The title makes this sound like a comedic event, but Weiss unleashing her inner crocodile is played entirely straight in the context of a life-or-death fight and is emblematic of desperation and hopeless defiance more so than low-stakes comedy.

You didn't get them all, but good job overall!

[gender-snatched]

A funky little post about Allison’s villain (?) arc and unconscious transphobia

So, I’ve seen a lot of posts about how Allison hates Viktor this season but still respects his name and pronouns, and as much as I enjoy these posts, I don’t feel like they’re strictly true. Especially with my transmasculine reading of Allison’s emotions.

To clarify, I’m not calling Allison transphobic and I do understand that the Doylist explanation of this season is that they didn’t plan for Viktor to be trans with this plot, and they didn’t want Elliot Page’s first (?) role after coming out to be rife with transphobia.

However, as a transmasc person, I felt like how Allison felt this season included some unintentional transphobia.

So, one of my favorite things about this arc (as much as I hated Allison during it and was so glad for her redemption) was how easy it was to track how she got there. She had lost the two people she loved most, she needs control, she felt unsupported and abandoned.

And abandonment what this is based on. More under cut so this isn’t annoying.

One of the most common threads I see in “supportive” cis women is that past the support, they feel betrayed and abandoned. Even if they think they support everything, quite a few unconsciously feel like they’ve been abandoned by someone who was supposed to be their sister in arms.

Allison and Viktor had always been the two “girls” on the team. Despite Viktor’s removal from the Academy, they’ve obviously bonded over this and are one of the closest sibling relationships on the show (backing up my odds and evens band together claim). See the “sisters? sisters” moment from season one.

So Allison, who has been the only public girl on the team and has suffered for it, feels like she’s lost her one ally on this subject in the family. I don’t like this train of thought and I don’t support it. But I can see where it’s coming from. Keep that in mind when I explain this.

Plus, Allison’s obviously suffering from other abandonment this season. She’s lost her husband and child, her ex-husband doesn’t even recognize her, her father doesn’t think of her as his child, and notably her ex has a new girlfriend/is getting married. All of these are things that hurt her, whether she reacts to them well or not (see the creepy scene where she rumors Luther).

So when you add Viktor to this, it’s easy to see how she feels abandoned. I don’t think she knows she feels abandoned, similarly to the Patrick and Reginald points I made above. But she still feels hurt.

Thus, part of her anger towards Viktor is unconsciously that she feels like he’s left her to become just another white man. And I could write a separate post on how both men and white people and white men have hurt Allison. So as much as she supports her brother, it isn’t just that she views Harlan as killing her mother (leading to Claire’s nonexistence) and Viktor as keeping it a secret. It’s also that Viktor has left their bond as “sisters” (which was enforced earlier in the season when they were the two sharing a room genderwise).

Also, there have been a few moments this season that I think back this up. One of the notable ones for me is when she makes fun of Viktor’s presentation at Luther’s wedding, saying “an oversized button up? how original” sarcastically. I felt like it was more of a dig at Viktor’s presentation than his clothing, specifically his own masculine presentation. Similarly, she blames him for things she forgave him for before. I think this plays into the feeling of men not being her allies while women are: now that Viktor’s a man he doesn’t have the right to do these things to her.

Obviously, Allison shouldn’t feel this way, and her feelings of abandonment don’t justify anything this arc. Hell, I’m just glad she did respect Viktor and his pronouns all season. But I don’t think that she’s “fine with Viktor being trans but not with Viktor doing [insert said action here]”. Instead, I think she’s unconsciously adding his newfound identiy to a list of ways he’s wronged her. And she doesn’t even realize it.

[diaphanouso]

I'll throw a bunch at you, feel free to answer any or all :) 8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story? 15. How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic? 55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones? 65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

Thanks for the ask, friend! I wanna answer all of 'em ❤️

8 - Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story? I'd have to say the middle, because by that point I've gotten to know and care about the characters and world, and there's time to spend with them yet 😊

15 - How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic? Oh YES you see me, friend 😆 I don't really know how I write smut scenes other than like they're odes to turian cock, lmao. I love to lean into the details (dripping turians are my love language) and get explicit with sensory descriptions, though I enjoy writing less explicit scenes, too. And I really like to focus on the emotional/interior components (so much of which I've learned from you!). As far as realism goes, though I pretty much exclusively write alien and monster smut, my goal is to write scenes that ring true and resonate for me.

55 - Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones? Garrus is definitely a favorite and the character I feel most comfortable writing, but I really enjoy writing Mordin and Legion! I love their distinctive speech patterns. Morinth was pretty fun, too. I don't think my favorites are necessarily swayed by reader reactions, but positive ones do encourage me to write more!

65 - Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project Well, I am most looking forward to getting the fuck over this mental block at the moment 😅 But aside from that little barrier, looking forward to these scenes:

For Hungry Eyes

Anytime Nihlus and Athena Shepard are dancing too close and she's like "help he's too hot"

Nihlus takes her up to this quiet little spot in the mountains nearby (Athena's only ever seen mountains from far away so this is going to rock her world)

Nihlus shows Athena similarities between dancing and fighting by having her spar with him. Ugh and she's going to get pinned to the floor with him panting above her

Their first night together! It's already mostly written and I've shared it a gazillion times but I'm excited to eventually get to that part in earnest!

For HE part 2 (Untitled)

Athena's N-School training

Athena N7 induction

First time Athena meets Garrus

Second time Athena meets Garrus (this time it sticks 😏)

S e x u a l T e n s i o n

Awkward/unintentional cyber sex followed by in-person sex (haven't decided how awkward the in-person sex will be but regardless it'll ultimately end up real good for both of them)

For HE part 3 (Untitled)

Athena runs into Nihlus at a Spectre bar after Spectre induction and gets hit with waves of angst/nostalgia/longing/oh fuck

Garrus meets Athena's old flame and gets hit with oh fuck he's hot

For Vox Spiritus

More Saren and Jack Harper

Catching up with [REDACTED]

S e x u a l T e n s i o n

Shepard confides in Garrus about Veria

Shepard and Garrus t o u c h

BLESS you for asking this question! Just thinking through it has gotten me all jazzed, haha. ❤️

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Previous Answers: 27, 20/40/45, 24/37/54/74

[whataweirdfeeling]

HELLO welcome to another WAWF interview EXCLUSIVE

This February marks the FINAL month and closing to WAWFswinter as well as an official YEAR OF WAWF WEDNESDAY [aka WAWFmag]

WAWF is grateful for all of the love and support that we have had throughout WAWFswinter and will be spreading that just a bit more this month with..

NEW WAWF ARTICLES EVERY WEDNESDAY with friends of WAWF who also wanna help us show just how much We ❤️ WAWF Wednesday

Read below for an exclusive interview and some behind the e scenes moments with new friends of WAWF

Find out what exciting things they have in store

Who are we here with?

J: Julia

JA: Jaks

M: Maya

P: Pato

Do you guys have any individual hobbies or specific interests?

J: Im really into fashion i'm a fashion merchandising major. I like sewing and the constructing of garments. Im also into writing thats a very fun way to express myself

JA: I like fashion too and sewing. I like music a lot. I also like photography and making little videos and sh*t with camcorders and stuff like that

M: I like politics and sociology a lot. I read a lot of books but i'm really into music and fashion as well

P: My hobby is skateboarding. I love being active and movement.

Do you have any influences for these interests or hobbies?

JA: For fashion just someone who I think puts that sh*t on is Bloody Osiris. He's got great style he's always doing crazy sh*t. Music I like listening to a lot music. I really like 'Carissa's Wierd' thats probably my favorite band. I don't really have any inspiration for making videos and sh*t I just like making cinema stuff with my friends

P: Definitely the punk movement or the punk ideals are inspirational to me. I hold with me like everywhere I go. I feel like it's true-self so I feel like i'm very inspired by the punk movement and just being yourself. [Being] true to yourself is the most punk thing you can do. Doing what you want is inspirational

J: I feel like I try to take as much inspiration from the people around me rather than celebrities I don't know. I feel like Im inspired cause Im kinda doing exactly the opposite of who I thought I would be when I was younger.. [but] yeah allowing myself to be that person that I thought I would never be good enough to be when I was little

M: I think my mom really inspires me a lot in terms of her style especially back in the 90s when she was putting that sh*t on. She was dressing so well and it was so unintentional and cool at the same time. She inspires me in so many other ways than that but just her style I think she's great and I wanna be like her

What's next for you guys?

J: I definitely wanna build my skills in constructing fashion and my creative side just so I don't lose myself in the marketing side of fashion and keep creating the things I went to this school for

JA: I just got a new camera so I'd love to like make a music video or something. Not even on some commercial sh*t just for fun. Just to put art out there cause I love music and I feel like music with imagery is just.. It can create such a cool feeling and to be able to embody what you think music should look like I think thats awesome and thats something that i'd love to do.

M: Im currently in the process of switching my major in criminal justice to hopefully cinema. That would be really great cause I think that film is a really good way to express yourself because you can include really good music and visuals.. a good plot line i think thats great

P: I wanna bring people together and have a strong community. It's all about the scene. I wanna bring people together so the communities' strong and so we have a very supportive scene. For the scene. For the youth. The scene is like active the scene is ongoing you just need a community who's united

How'd y'all find out about WAWF?

J: My suitemate I found out through my suitemate Angel who's very talented and I thought it was very cool what was going on with this.. WAWF sh*t

JA: I found out through Maya. She just asked me if I wanted to do the shoot and I was down so she put me on

M: I found out through Julia who found out through Angel which is really awesome. Very happy happy to be here

P: I- my girlfriend put me on

Along with promoting/supporting growing artists like these WAWF magazine pushes fashion culture and much more

Words/ Curated by @vyngak

[yllowpages]

027. What is their idea of perfect happiness?

028. What makes them laugh out loud?

029. What sort of sense of humor does your character have?

030. Do they believe in the afterlife?

for john

random character development questions

027.

would it be too much to just say.........helen? because i do think that's true. perfect happiness would be a long, quiet life with her. not the mere five (and change) years they got. prior to meeting her, i feel like john never fully considered that broader concept : perfect happiness. before, maybe happiness was simply being in charge of his own life, away from the people who raised him the way they did. maybe it's having all the nice things he never could have dreamed of having when he was young after losing his parents. maybe it was being lucky enough to call a very few, select people friends in that world. and i think all of those things did make him happy, to an extent. meeting helen, however, sort of showed him the bigger potential of life. peace. quiet. anonymity. the feeling of being seen just as he is. even without her, after her, i think his perfect happiness would then just be living the life she wanted for him : peace and quiet, and just opening himself up to the experience of living his life.

028.

a good joke. like a really good one with a nice set-up and punchline. also stories. that kind you just have to look back on and laugh based on what happened or who you were with. those stories that nobody else will find funny except for you and your friend who was there, so you're both telling it while out of breath. but at the same time as all that, it depends on the person. there are simply just some people he'll be more comfortable being that expressive with (certified rhi moment honestly).

029.

wry, sort of dry. even sarcastic. and unintentional. i think of the library scene when this happens:

"Fourteen million: it's a lot of money." "Not if you can't spend it."

that response from john is genuinely fucking funny. but he didn't even mean it as a joke. especially in that scenario, it's a threat. but it's funny (at least to the audience, maybe not in-universe but i digress).

but dry humor is the same sort of thing he will, generally, find funny. though i think his sense of humor for what he thinks is amusing is more broad. he probably also enjoys physical comedy (think buster keaton, charlie chaplin, even someone like dick van dyke), and situational humor.

030.

i think there's a lot of layers to it and it's not just a clear-cut yes or no. overall, i'm going to say he leans toward no. he's been surrounded by so much death in his life, just by vicinity and by his own doing. he almost can't believe that there is some realm or land people go to afterward. death is final. to him, there's nothing after that. it's the last stop, for better or worse. but also......he'd like to. for example, we have this exchange between him and another character in the fourth film (it's in one of the trailers even):

"Saying goodbyes?" "Saying hello." "You think your wife can hear you?" "No." "Then why bother?" "Maybe I'm wrong."

i think he thinks there's a very peaceful optimism in the idea of speaking to people in the beyond. that your last goodbye wasn't really the last one. especially at this point in his life, during these films, that would be something he'd consider a lot. maybe simply in some small form of denial surrounding helen's death.

then we have a chapter 2 exchange that brings up another point:

"Do you fear damnation, John?" "Yes."

but i almost doubt this is john talking about the concept of hell and the eternal damnation that comes with it. to me, it's almost him even acknowledging that duality within him: the man vs. the myth. he doesn't necessarily fear dying or an afterlife. he will do anything and everything to stay alive and he has this unwillingness to die, but however he dies...he wants it to be as the man helen knew. dying as jo.hn wi.ck the assassin, to him, would be his real damnation because it would be everything she didn't want for him and everything he didn't want for himself.

[the-annotated-antichrist]

Seth as Helena’s morning star

From the scene description of Jewels from Afar:

Helena joins [Seth] and speaks gently about how she and Johanna as children experienced how the stars spoke to them from another world. Helena says that she was mostly fascinated by a peculiar star that always shone most brightly in the morning. There is silence for a moment.

Which is translated into lyrics as follows:

[Helena:] Moments of childhood days come back A few precious seconds I fly out Shining beyond the moon, my beloved star always inviting me, born of secrecy - my morning star Dear Majesty, oh please look at me

So, IF this story Helena tells Seth is symbolic in the context of the story - because it might just be a straightforward story about her childhood that she remembers because they're looking at the stars, but I don’t think there’s all there is to it, especially since Seth is explicitly called the “morning star” by Helena in Theme of Antichrist - then I interpret it as being a parallel to her romance with Seth.

Firstly and most obviously, the morning star announces a new day, which Seth is also perceived as doing by creating a perfect society after an apocalyptic event and a following “dark age”.

Secondly, the morning star is also significant in Christianity: Lucifer is frequently called the “Morningstar”, and Seth is, of course, the Antichrist, son of the devil.

However, thirdly, Jesus also calls himself the morning star in the Bible.

I, Jesus, have sent my angel to testify to you about these things for the churches. I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright morning star.” (Revelation 22:16)

Seth is the bringer of a new day thanks to his revolutionary philosophy, but he is also the son of the devil and acts as a redeemer of the world. He also sees himself as the one who will do what Jesus could not, as the true Messiah. The morning star image captures the dualism of his nature as well as his significance to his people. Thus, Helena's childhood fascination with the morning star is a parallel to her romance with Seth in adulthood.

Lastly, the heavenly body the expression morning star usually refers to is Venus, the planet seen as symbolic of love. One can read Helena's choice to tell Seth this story as a way for her to say that she was fated to love him - or the symbolism can be meant to be unintentional on Helena’s part but still reveal something about her and Seth’s relationship.

The fact that the scene description states outright that Helena and Johanna both had this special love for the stars and felt that the stars spoke to them is very interesting in this context but I feel like if I tried to expand on this, it would get too speculative and spoiler-y.

Also an interesting part of the symbolism: Venus is only the morning star half the time. When she isn’t visible in the morning or invisible due to being too close to the sun relative to Earth, she is the evening star, a last faint light before a long night. But Helena does not remember a fascination with the evening star, she does not mention it. Symbolically: The possibility that Seth's visions might not pan out is not present in this conversation.

[alaffy]

Schmigadoon, Ep. 4 – Suddenly

Well, it’s a good thing I’m not a fan of The Sound of Music because there’s a scene in it that I’m never going to be able to see the same way again.  

Melissa and Josh find themselves living two musical tropes, but will this lead them to true love?  

Josh is trying to find a way to get Emma Tate, the school teacher, to walk over the bridge; but she’s having none of it.  And I wonder, is it possible that Emma might be someone who was from the modern era?  I mean, at first glance, she does seem like a modern woman from an early 1900’s prospective, but not as modern as today’s women.  However, the way she was able to grab and take apart the gun…could be comical effect, could be hinting at more.  

Meanwhile, Melissa is finding herself both attracted to Doc Lopez and appalled at his lack of care for his patients.  Melissa decides to go behind his back and help an unwed mother.  And sing her (and her boyfriend) a song about sex-ed and where babies come from.  In her nurses uniform.  With a guitar.  To a tune that sounds waay to much like Do-Re-Mi.  Yeah, have fun getting this one out of your head kids.

Anyway, Josh keeps blowing it with the teacher and so decides to ask Melissa on how to woo the teacher without having to perform a musical number.  She suggests helping the teacher’s brother, like in The Music Man.  Just then, the young mother rushes in because she’s about to have the baby; which apparently comes out quickly and dry (…..this episode really is haunting in unintentional ways).  Anyway, Josh and Melissa seem to have a bit of a moment; but ultimately go their separate ways.

Josh finds the kid brother a kazoo and talks to him about how it’s ok to be different and Melissa stands up to the prudish doctor and tells him she’s going to teach his parents how to have sex for pleasure.

….We then cut to the funeral of the father, where Melissa learns that Doc Lopez lost his wife two years ago.  Also, as the Minister talks about living life to the fullest, the Mayor makes a decision. He goes up to the pulpit and announces that he’s Gay.

So, I’m a bit conflicted on this storyline and I think it’s because the storyline is kind of uneven. For instance, I really did like the scene where the Mayor (who seems to have feelings for the Reverend), is interacting with the Reverend and is trying to support him (unlike Mildred).  But then there’s this scene and  feel like it’s being played too much for laughs.  I think maybe if they had him just announce it and not have a small song afterwards, I would have had less of a problem.

Anyway, because of this, it looks like Mildred will try to take over the town.  Meanwhile, because this is a musical, suddenly Emma and the Doctor have fallen for Josh and Melissa, but do they feel the same way?

[cacoetheswriting]

Can you do a rio (good girls) where reader saves him after Beth shoots him?

a/n: hi!! i had so much time writing this request, i really hope you like it (and i'm sorry it took so long to publish it omg)

pairing: rio x fem!reader warnings: angst, gun violence, trauma, blood, hurt/comfort, swearing, & a little fluff word count: 1.8k

a/n: ok so i wrote a part two 👀

-

Ever since you were a kid, you managed to land yourself in questionable, and honestly rather dangerous situations. Whether it was completely unintentional or of your own accord — usually the latter — you were no stranger to risky circumstances.

Yet tonight, even after taking into consideration your poor judgement and terrible decision making skills, you could not help but wonder how the fuck did you end up here?

To say the scene currently unfolding in front of your eyes was shocking would be an understatement. Beth, pointing a loaded gun at Agent Turner, while Rio nonchalantly encouraged — ordered — her  to shoot the man.

Definitely not the evening you had planned.

“You put it all on me so it’s never on you,” Beth exhaled, “Nothing’s ever on you!”

“Yeah, well—” Rio shrugged, “— now you got a bigger problem, don’t you?” He glanced at Agent Turner, before looking over Beth’s shoulder. His gaze locked with yours. If the situation wasn’t so fucked, and your eyes weren’t glossed with tears willing to spill at any given moment, you might have noticed how his expression softened for a brief second.

“You think he’s my problem?” Beth asked, regaining Rio’s full attention. He slid his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. He observed as you hesitantly took step towards Beth, still out of her line of sight but close enough so she would hear you whisper, “Beth, what the fuck are you doing?”

She didn’t respond. Instead, it was Rio who spoke next, “So put on your big girl panties and take care of it.”

“He’s not my problem,” Beth stated sternly which caused Rio to roll his eyes, “Shut your mouth, bitch, okay, and just—

Gunshot.

The weapon no longer pointed at Agent Turner, but at the gang leader himself. Horror mixed with anger spread across Rio’s expression, but before he got a chance to react at the double-cross, Beth fired again.

And again.

Suddenly, everything was in slow motion.

Rio fell to the ground. He was holding his torso, coughing up blood as he groaned in pain. His body shaking ever so slightly, his breathing raggedy. Once he hit the floor with a thud, his eyes locked with yours again. Fear. All the two of you saw was fear.

“Give me the gun,” Agent Turner broke the heavy silence as he reached for the weapon. Beth gave it up without a fight, and they shared a knowing look.

“Let’s get out of here,” She quickly turned to you and grabbed your bicep. You nervously glanced between her and Rio, who began to bleed out. Fuck. Fuck. There was no way you were going to let him just— die...

You proceeded to free yourself from Beth’s grasp, “I’m not leaving him.”

The red-head scoffed, “Are you kidding me y/n?! He’s made our life hell, and now we’re free! We’re finally free!”

“I’m not leaving him,” you repeated, “No-one deserves to die alone.”

She gave a dismissive wave of her hand. “Whatever. Suit yourself,” and with that you watched her leave.

Your fight or flight instincts kicked in as soon as she was out of sight. Within a split second, you were kneeling by Rio’s side and hastily slipping off your zip-up hoodie while you assessed his vast injuries.

You curled up the soft material into a ball and pressed it to his largest wound, carefully moving his hands out of the way. Rio flinched at your touch, his eyes lazily finding yours. He looked genuinely scared, your heart ached.

You forced a smile.

“Hey, hey. Rio. Hey, it’s going to be okay. Everything will be just fine...” you quietly reassured, desperately wanting for the words to be true.

Slowly, you moved your free hand to cup his cheek, wiping away any blood with shaky fingers. “You gotta hang on, okay? There are many people that care about you...”

He hung his head and chuckled softly, gagging on his own blood in the process, “T-there uh ain’t a soul that cares about me, ma-ama.”

You shook your head, “That’s not true. I care.”

His lips arched into a half-smile before his eyes trembled closed.

Letting out a hushed sob, you inclined your head in the direction of Agent Turner, “Ehm… I-I don’t exactly know what your protocol is in situations like this but-uhm, but could you maybe give us a minute?”

The man eyed you silently for a moment, and it wasn’t until you let the tears you were holding back finally escape, that he gave in.

“I have a couple of calls to make,” he excused himself and disappeared into a closed-off room at the far end of the floor.

When you heard the door click, you snapped your focus back to Rio, “We have to hurry. Do you think you can stand up?” you whispered, causing him to open his eyes.

Rio coughed, “Y-you should-d leave…”

“I’m only leaving if it’s with you.”

Noticing the determination in your eyes, Rio didn’t dare to protest again. Carefully, you helped him up on his feet. He draped one arm around your shoulders, his fingers now intertwined with yours, while you slid one arm behind his back. The other hand made home on his chest, the red liquid oozing between your fingers.

If the circumstances were any different, perhaps you would have realised the two of you have never stood this close to one another. If the circumstances were any different, perhaps you would have recognised the feeling in the pit of your stomach as more than adrenaline. No, it was something much stronger.

“We have to be quick,” you reminded him in a murmur and Rio groaned in response. “And as quiet as possible,” you added.

Surprisingly, it didn’t take long to get him in the car, which was conveniently left open and parked right outside the front of the building. You helped him in the back seat and fumbled through his jacket in search for the keys.

Before closing the door and jumping in the front seat, your gaze lingered on your hoodie which he continued to press to one of his wounds. The once grey garment was now completely red, borderlining on brown.

Your eyes moved to Rio’s face, all bloody and paler than you’ve ever seen him. Swallowing your breath at the sight, you seriously hoped you had enough time to save him.

~~~

Someone was squeezing his hand.

Every part of him hurt, deep throbbing pain, yet all he really felt was the gentle grip around his fingers. It was nice. Soothing even. A feeling he could definitely get used to.

It took all the strength he had to open his eyes. He took a moment to adjust to the light before analysing his surroundings. The room was unfamiliar, and normally that would be a red flag, yet instead of thinking about where the fuck he was, his gaze focused on the person holding his hand. You.

You were sleeping. Propped on a chair pushed in close to the bed he currently lay in, your head resting on your own arm, while the other hand was glued to his. You looked exhausted, although, he deducted, still a million times better than him.

And as he observed you silently, a small smile creeping up on his features, you fluttered your eyes open.

“Oh thank god, you’re awake.”

“H-hey…” Rio croaked, while you slowly sat up.

Your grasp left his, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t instantly miss the sensation. Thankfully, you didn’t go anywhere. Instead, you reached for the glass of water on the bedside table and helped him take a sip.

“How are you feeling?” you asked. The tone of your voice filled with genuine concern, and he suddenly remembered how you told him you cared about him. He wondered whether that was true. You did get him out of there, save his life. That had to count for something, right?

“Like I’d been shot three times, mama.” Rio replied, lips twirling into a smirk.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “Guess you’re all better if you’re making jokes about this.”

“Not the first time I was shot, won’t be the last.”

Rio was quick to notice you didn’t appreciate his response. Your usually soft features, hardened, and tears formed in the corners of your eyes. He reached out a shaky hand to grab yours, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Where are we?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Someplace safe. Someplace no one will find us,”

“So—“

“No one knows we’re here,” you reassured, “Or… uhm… t-that you’re alive,” you added, nervously glancing down at his hand attached to yours. People don’t usually take news of their death well.

However, Rio didn’t seem to mind, “Good, mama. That’s real good.”

There was a brief moment of silence. Rio’s attention was solely focused on you, taking in every inch of your perfect face, while you rubbed circles into the palm of his hand. He could tell you were deep in thought, as you chewed on your bottom lip. What you were thinking however, contradicted the bravery you’ve felt since the shooting. Suddenly, you were afraid of the consequences of your actions. Afraid of what’s to come.

“What will happen now?” you wondered out loud, hesitantly meeting Rio’s gaze.

“You saved my life, mama. No matter what happens, I’ll protect you.”

The promise made your heart flutter. Something about having him on your side, looking out for you, was exhilarating. The sensation didn’t last long however, as you remembered how you landed in this situation.

“What about Beth? And the others?” you enquired, because you cared about them and despite Beth’s mistake, you wouldn’t want something bad happening.

“Don’t you worry your pretty head about them.”

“But you won’t do anyth—“

“Come here,” Rio cut you off. He patted the spot on the bed next to him and patiently waited for you to abide.

A few days ago, you wouldn’t have. A few days ago, you wouldn’t be half as complacent around the charming crook. Having him almost bleed out in your arms however, well… that changes things. It definitely affected how you feel about him and how much you’re willing to show it.

After making yourself comfortable, you gently placed your head on his shoulders, carefully so as to not irritate any of his injuries. He licked his lips, smiling to himself, because he too felt different about you. Stronger.

Rio placed a delicate kiss on top of your head. “You’re my girl now,” he murmured into your hair. The proclamation caused you to look up at him. A mix of adoration and confusion spread across your features, as you met his inviting gaze.

“You’re the only one who’s important to me, mama.”

-

masterlist

rio (good girls) taglist: @fictionalhoomanofnowhere (tag not working)