#it’s ok to be gay at IKEA

[mamawasatesttube]

anyways. i think cassie needs to text tim having a minor meltdown in an ikea restroom because cissie asked her to come shopping for her new apartment with her and then looked at a bed and fluttered her eyelashes and asked if cassie would be down to come over and help her assemble furniture later. and cassie had a moment of butch euphoria so hard she panicked and ran to the restroom instead of actually answering.

tim, uniquely unhelpful: ??? ikea furniture isn't even that durable or heavy. you should take her to an actual home furnishings store and get some solid wood stuff instead of particle board. do you want a gift card i can get you one. there's a furniture outlet 3.6 miles from the ikea where you are. i feel like she'd appreciate an actual hardwood bed more, it can withstand way more of a beating cassie: UOU CANT JUST SAY THOSW WRODS TO ME RIGHT NPW????@?@?@@???@?!??!?!?!?!?!?@?#?#?@?

tim is trying so hard to be helpful via simply stating facts about furniture durability and usefulness. he is not being helpful

[devilish-parrot]

"im gay"

"im straight"

ok??? well, I am a good person. I am a powerful person. I don't believe in evil. I think that evil is an idea created by others to avoid dealing with their own nature. I understand my own nature. Good and evil have nothing to do with it. I understand myself. I control myself. I control everything within myself. My domain is my domain. I can lie on my back and affect the lives of those I love without moving a finger. But I would only affect them in good ways. I don't waste time on evil. I'm a good person. Is this thing on? Do you know about Jesus? Do you really know? All you know is what you've been told. Listen with your heart. Sing with your heart. You've just been singing about girls. What do you know about girls? Fuck... Why are you so tense? You've gotta start singing with love in your heart. Is this on? Adam, are you there? A pain star has entered your house, but what are you going to do about it? Are you going to touch it? It only happens once every thousand years, maybe even two thousand years. And how long is a year, really? It's almost Halloween. I haven't done shit this year. It's been a summer—it's been a summer since February, I was in Australia. God. California? Then what? June, July, August, a month in Europe. I can't even go to Ikea anymore, I've got flashbacks. Fuck! You should see the lights that I got there, I think you'd like them. I think that– I think you'd like them a lot!Isn't this where...

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Some Serennedy headcannons for the one and only @mooseonahunt !!!! Sorry I couldn’t add to it ask Tumblr wouldn’t let me BXNSHDNSJSN

HC’s under cut cuz I don’t wanna bombard anyone’s dashboard!!!

• They’re T4T. This much is obvious. And I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, I think Luis is very old-fashioned and as such still uses terms like Transvestite/Transsexual/Fag for himself. I think Leon is just happy calling himself gay and trans chendhendhsn

• I don’t think Leon’s actually all into women- controversial I know BCNSHDNSUSJ but I think him trying (and failing) to flirt with women was him trying to overcompensate for his queerness, and I think it solidified for him that Hey liking men is Ok actually when he met Luis

• Luis however is very unabashedly queer. He will flirt with anyone and everyone and he’s encouraged Leon to open up more when it comes to his identity me thinks

• Leon gets jealous easily. Not in an alpha-male-nobody-can-touch-my-man way, but I think he’s deep down a little bit insecure that a guy like LUIS would ever be into HIM. He just likes coming home and being reassured with lots of kisses that Luis does love him and only him acktually (But I’m saying that I don’t think either of them would be like. OPPOSED to polyamory. They just don’t have the time BXBSHNESH)

• Luis is obviously the more physically affectionate one and Leon is VERY touch starved so he laps it up like crazy

• Luis is a morning person. Leon is NOT. So often Luis will get up WAY before Leon and go out shopping for breakfast stuffs before him

• I know I’m one of millions to say this but Leon CANNOT cook. And Luis secretly indulges in being a little bit of a househusband for them both BXNSHENSJS

• Very random but I think Luis flirts with Chris on behalf of Leon. He’s like “if this idiot won’t make a move on this Boulder-lookin ass guy I WILL”

• Me And @hamartia-grander had a very hilarious conversation about this but I think Leon is immune to all flirting EXCEPT for Luis’. Luis could say literally THE DUMBEST shit and Leon will fall head over heels for him

• And Vice Versa. Luis is SUCH a sucker for all of Leon’s dumb jokes he strokes his ego like crazy

• Luis is like one of those dogs that are massive but don’t realise it and think they can sit on their owners just fine. Luis will curl up on Leon’s lap or be the little spoon and it’s an insanely awkward tangle of limbs but Leon couldn’t care in the slightest

• Also, Luis is like,,, actually SHOCKINGLY taller than Leon???? Like if you put their game models side by side and make Luis stand up straight he’s actually quite a fair bit taller than Leon????? But he’s always resting his weight on one hip or leaning on something so it’s hard to tell in-game

• Leon doesn’t like to go out in public so when he has to, he’s always got a grip on Luis’ arm xhdndhenhdnejx

• Luis LOVES to buy Leon new jackets. Except he has no money so he’s actually just using Leon’s money BCNDHDNDHNDDJ

“Awwwwe thanks for the jacket babe :)) why is there 50$ less in my bank account”

“Don’t worry about it cariño :)))))”

• Luis can sing!!! And play guitar!!!!! His Grandfather taught him :)

• Leon REALLY likes to learn and engage in stuff from Luis’ culture. Luis gets homesick very easily so he’s always teaching him dances and cooking him food n stuff like that to make them both feel better

• That being said Leon will TRY to speak Spanish and he just. Sounds awful. And I think Luis gets very delighted by very random silly American things xhsnxhsnxj he just like me fr (Eg: omg Leon!!!!!!! An Ikea!!!!!!!!!!! Ive Never been to an Ikea before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

• Leon has made it a habit of reading Luis Don Quixote before bed. Even though Luis could probably read the book backwards with his eyes closed, he just likes hearing Leon talk :)) also Leon is a S L O W Reader so Like. It works out for the both of them BCNDHXNDJD

• I’ve mentioned this numerous times but I fully think if Luis were to survive, he’d be disabled somehow. Some days he’s fine and some days he can’t even walk. But Leon is always always always there to help him no matter what

• Going off of that, I recon Luis loves to dance, but can’t really do it well after his injury. So Leon just kinda half-carry’s him and it usually ends up with the both of them on the floor laughing

• I don’t think Luis would still be religious after,,, e v e r y t h i n g but I think he probably still prays out of habit, and Leon likes to sit and watch him with a lil smile on his face

• Luis still loves to use knight/prince-themed nicknames for Leon :))

• Leon loves to kiss the rings on Luis’ fingers as a form of intimacy

• Again stolen from @snailvee , but I WHOLLY agree with their headcannon that Luis takes a LOT of pride in his appearance (he feels like it’s the one thing he can control etc etc) so letting Leon see him all scruffy in the mornings is a little way of saying “I love you”

• Also again stolen from Snail, they share clothes. Except Luis is really tall and lanky and it accentuates Leon’s muscles so sometimes he hides his clothes in Leon’s drawers on purpose NCNEHDNDJDNDJ

• After a while I wholly think Luis grows out his hair/ grows a little beard and Leon is obsessed w it

• I think even before he met Luis, he was exactly Leon’s type. Tall dark and handsome NXNDHDND he always pictured being with a man like that and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t kinda into Spanish accents

• Leon makes a extra effort to hide old photos of him as a Rookie from Luis because whenever he finds them he starts crying and is like “OOOOUGGHHH LEEEOOOONNN YOU WERE SUCH A BABYYYY……. THE WORLD WAS SO CRUEL TO YOOOOOUUUU…… OUAHAGAHSGHA”

• Oh also they’re both autistic. There is NO WAY Leon is neurotypical with that eye contact and lack of social awareness and Luis’ special interest is horses and Don Quixote you can’t convince me otherwise (He also likes infodumping to Leon abt sciency stuff :))) )

• I think Luis cries very easily. Not even over anything reasonable he’s just an emotional guy HDBDHDNDHDN

• Leon has had to sit Luis down multiple times and say to him “It’s ok. You don have to keep trying to repent for your mistakes. Being here and alive is more than enough of an apology for me. You can forgive yourself”

• Luis likes to gush about Leon to Rebecca and Leon likes to gush about Luis to Chris and Claire. They’re idiots sooooo in love

• @hamartia-grander again stolen from you but Leon always keeps a photo of Luis with him when on missions and they’re always calling whenever they can <<<333

• Luis has gotten every single little mole and freckle of Leon’s memorised perfectly so he can kiss them whenever he wants :))

• Leon’s favourite part of Luis is his pretty eyelashes with those tiny lil grey lashes and nose. He’s a sucker for big noses. He also likes braiding his hair me thinks

[timecanonlytell-blog]

Head cannons

But it’s only characters i know a lot about

Kabu

He hates being touched by people he doesn’t care about, if he cares about someone it’s ok.

When he was a kid people would talk over him, he hated it. He still hates it, but now he can do something about it.

I wanna say he’s bi and trans i think. Goes under the pronouns of he/him he came out as trans when he was 18-20 a couple years after surgery he moved to where he is now.

If he finds a lost or distrusted ( that’s how he met allister ) he’ll try his best to calm them down and help them .

One year the other gym leader gave him a ‘ best dad ever ‘ shirt that’s the first time they had ever seen him cry like ever.

Man’s knows what your thinking and before you can do anything stupid he’ll tell you to stop it

Bede

Like kabu he also hates touch, and they hates it even if you know him, in-fact he’s only ok with it if your dating them or have known him for many many years.

I wanna say Demisexual/gay and his also trans and goes under the pronouns of he/they.

He was horrible with dancing until opal taught him how to( he still stumbles a lot in it though )

I like to think he got his stuck up personality because he was in foster care, when he was 7-9 ( then rose picked him up ) because none of the homes wanted him because he was ‘ to traumatized for they’re likening’ so in a way of coping they start to act like that, he also came out as trans when he was 11 ( rose may be a bad man but he supported bede).

Theater kid

He’s nickname for people he cares about is idiot. Yes he shows affection through mean names

Listens to music that’s like the music sleeping at last makes

Probably have a squishmallow collection

Leon

I think that he’s a demi-boy ( trans ) he/they and he’s gay ( yes he has dated rahain )

Has a arua that can calm down any Pokémon or human

He stress draws, and he’s gotten good at drawing because he’s always stressed

Loves to put his head on peoples thighs if they’re ok with is, like it’s just a built in pillow for people

Other that kabu he happens to be one of the shortest mf’s you’ll ever find ( this is a joke )

Breedable

Probably also has a squishmallow collection

Bimbo

He’s gotten lost in a IKEA before, it was a challenge to find him

Play with his hair, he loves it

Leon has a undercut

Rahain

He’s pansexual ( i mean he already flirts with everyone he thinks is hot ) he goes by he/him

He’s a funny drunk, (yes that means blackmail )

Also likes to lay on peoples thighs( mostly Leon’s when he can get away with it )

The breeder

Has stolen Leon’s squishmallows before and will again

Peirs

He’s online friends with emmet

Hes reciprosexual and goes by he/him ( props to the people who know what that is )

He has so many chains in his closet he can and will strangle people with them, like an e-girl

Collects only the ‘scary’ squishmallows

He likes to fall asleep on his partners chest because he can hear they’re heart beat

Steals his partners clothes if they’re a size bigger than him because they’re comfortable unlike his

He has really pale skin right, but it wouldn’t burn he like, reflects all the like off him before it hits his skin

Hops

He’s gay ( has dated bede they ended it on goodish terms) and goes by he/him

He learned how to braid and put hair in a bun for leon, he still will and does Leon’s hair for him

Also has squishmallow but only because bede gave them to him as a birthday present

He can’t sleep alone for the life of him so his Pokémon all cuddle with him in his bed

Learned how to draw when he was younger so he could be like Leon ( not knowing leon did it only when he was stressed)

Marnie

Doesn’t really smile but when she does it’s only for family and loved ones

She’s bi. And goes by they/she

Is an absolute freezer and steals like all the blankets they can

She blacks out ( doesn’t know why still ) and it can cause her to faint

Has salt packets in they’re pockets don’t ask why ( black outs

Has a stuffy collection and a squishmallow collection

Ingo

He has adhd

I think that he’s gay and demisexual and his pronouns are he/him ( trans )

I can imagine ingo with one of those giant beer mugs so there’s that

He listens to peirs music because of emmet

He does little hand movements well talking

Has a overwhelming obsession on history more so, the Hisuian Sneasels

Has plushies of his Pokémon

Has dislexia has asked emmet to read stuff to him before

Emmet

He’s bi as F*** he’s pronouns are he/they ( trans )

They have adhd ( joliks being he’s main opposition’s)

He listens to peirs music, they’re online friends

He’s very touchy might come with being a joltik breeder thou Idk

Likes to sleep on his livers chest so he can here they’re heart beat, so he knows they haven’t disappeared to.

Has plushies of they’re pokemom

Emmets theme song is material girl by Madonna

Milo

I think that he’s pansexual ( mostly men ) and he’s a he/him

Has a mommy/breeding/pregnancy kink

Has adhd

Can talk on and on about wooloos and other grass type Pokémon for hours

He likes to pick up people well hugging them it’s just easier for him

He taught the wooloos how to Sence that someone’s going to have a panic attack

Has a squishmallow collection and plushies collection of his Pokémon

Hau

He is a demi-boy he/they and is pansexual ( he has dating gladion before )

Also has a squishmallow collection

He has a second bed set up at all times so gladion can sleep over

Can and will cuddle with his Pokémon

Gets nightmare easily

Does not like horror movies at all

He infact reads fanfics

Has his ears pierced

He knows how to draw

Gladion

He listens to peirs music

He is trans and gay and goes by he/him

Has gone to almost all peirs consorts

He gets panic attacks

He got bullied as a kid and now will beat the a** of anyone who’s bullying someone

He pierced hau’s ears for him

Has a squishmallow collection

Null is counting as his emotions support.. Pokémon? Idk

He knows how to draw

Has a strong fear of losing people close to him

Lillie

She’s bi/poly ( not sexual ) goes by she/her

Is dating mallow and lana

Collection squishmallows

Knows how to draw

Has a strong fear of people dear to her

She has tramau from a Pokémon attack, she can still touch them, she’s just slightly scared

Mallow

Lesbian/ poly ( not sexual ) they go by they/she )

Is dating Lillie and lana

Also collection squishmallows

Is a really good chef

Has a herb garden

Lana

They are neptunic/poly and go by they/them ( props to the people that know that )

Is dating mallow and Lillie

Is a really fast swimmer

Has adhd

Will and does collect little things from the shore and bottom of the sea, to give to they’re girlfriends

Professor kukui

Is a straight ally i mean his wife is bi so

Has adhd

Also has tramau from people leaving him

Has a fear of people leaving him

Has a breeding kink

Guzma

He is gay ( thought he liked kukui for a like just a hallway crush thou) and goes by he/they

Has adhd

Will collect little thinks he finds on the ground he gives to people he likes

If he finds another bug type trainer he will pick them up and leave with them

Likes cuddles

Likes to lay on his lovers chest so he can feel they’re heart beat

Allister

They are omnisexual and go by they/they ( non-binary )

Has a aura that attaches ghost types

Likes to write little stories

Has a squishmallow collection

Likes to draw

Does prank people with they’re Pokémon

Cuddles

Has really bad anxiety

Also has a peanut allergy ( they can use that to get away from annoying men)

Has adhd

He can tell who a person is based on they’re voice

Bea

They’re lesbian and go by they/she

She looks up to kabu a lot

Will ignore people she doesn’t like

Will fight anyone that hurts Allister

Has dislexia the only one to know about is it Allister

Gets migraines if they try to read to hard

N

I think they’re non-binary they/them don’t really mind if someone messes it up but if it’s on purpose they’ll kick you so hard you meet arceus, they’re also asexual

Has this arua around them that can calm down any Pokémon

Has adhd

Does little hand movements well they talk

Has ticks

They jump up and down and or shake they hands up and down when happy

Warden ingo

Still has adhd ( doesn’t know it )

He/him and pansexual ( it changed now you gotta have options)

He has a breeding kink

He has a over opposition on sneasels

Has dislexia still it’s just worse now

If he hates you he will forever hate you and ignore you

Has short term memory lose

I’ll add more later

[sailorblossoms-snowbaz]

Seeing the quote about Baz basically telling Simon “it’s ok if you don’t want to be out, we don’t have to go public” and Simon says “oh no there goes my job prospect and family” or housing something (going by memory here, don’t want to check again, shit’s depressing) while Baz is like “I don’t get what the joke is” (because is not funny) makes me think…

I’ve said many times that Simon dated Agatha on survival mode. He wanted the security, the family, the house he never had, and was trying to get it in the only way heteronormativity told him he could get it. But now I’m also thinking that he was dating her in a way that might be comparable to the way people keep showing up for a job they hate. Without it, how are you going to live?... Simon assumed, as a logical consequence of going through the motions, that her parents would maybe be taking care of/helping with housing and getting a job etc. When he loses that relationship he loses access to her house and her parents, and there goes any illusion of security he told himself he could get to distract himself from “I’m gonna die pretty soon anyway.”

In a way, breaking out of heteronormativity results in Simon “losing job and family and possible housing” (their relationship didn’t just “fall apart because they want different things out of life,” it was doomed to fail from the beginning – as Penny puts it so succinctly in MRB, it didn’t work because “miserable and gay” – so in a way, being together is like being “in the closet”) (that’s also why Agatha gets to be the one breaking up the relationship: unlike Simon, she has a safety net without him, she gets to get away and travel, she gets to go home and have dad help by coming up with something for her to do (a job) – for Simon, the Wellbeloves were his safety net, without them he "has to make it all by himself")

On the surface, Simon is pointing out that he has nothing left to lose by “being out,” no one left to judge him that would actually have any impact in his life that actually matters. The mage is gone, the scandal that comes from that is fucking with “his reputation” regardless and the Wellbeloves are no longer tied to him. All he has is Baz… and Penny. (I assume he iirc doesn’t factor her in because Penny being by his side is like a “simple truth of life” by that point, like saying “water is wet” “they’re joined by the hip” etc) (he probably doesn’t consider this fully because he has a funny little way of assuming he’s dying before it gets to the hard part, but if Penny gets married that means she won’t be able to prioritize Simon like she did when there was no one else in her life – there are times when husband will have to come first, she’s going to live with him etc – whereas with Baz they are and can be each other's priorities 100%) (also the fact that Simon and Penny have talked about living together seems a bit like a Freudian slip on Simon’s part: he didn’t want to live with Agatha! … the obvious is that he didn’t actually want to marry her)

So when Baz offers to not push it, when he tells Simon he's not going to pressure him to do anything he doesn't want to... Simon doesn't see any reason to take him up on his offer. Everything he used to be afraid of losing is gone... except Baz. He's afraid of losing Baz (Baz fears later than what Simon really meant was "it's only a matter of time before I lose you" but Simon thinks "I lost everything, but I still have him, so I still feel like I got the better end of the deal" meaning that deep in his heart, Baz is the only thing he can't afford to lose. It's also reinforced when he's about to break up with him and thinks that “he can't do this, he can't talk to him like this" because "losing Baz will kill him.")

We do see Simon struggling with "being out" (and Baz notices) (hence why he's so delighted at the "gay at ikea" date – it's progress) but it says much that when Simon's being offered the chance "to hide" his relationship with Baz, his answer is a resounding no (when he's imagining "what would the mage say?" "Baz is not even alive and you're not even gay" he almost jumps out of the car right there – he can't stand it). There are many things at play with Simon's struggles, but the answer becomes easy when Baz is in front of him (he only falters when he believes Baz deserves better than him and only stays with him out of pity). Simon chooses him. He might not know or understand or even fear certain things, he might struggle with the way he treats himself. But there's no question about wanting to be with Baz.

[prestonmonterey]

for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

compliment the person who sent you this number.

fairy lights or LED lights?

do you still love stuffed animals?

most important thing in your life?

what do you want most in the world right now?

if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

what would you say to your future self?

favorite piece of clothing?

what’s something you do to de-stress?

FUCK YOU TUMBLR

sorry

i drafted the whole thing and then it didnt save and now i have to retype it all >:(

idk how to answer this one, theres no emojis :( um um um i can um do one. just for fun. @sifs-rowan-tree gay. /hj

youre really cool!!! and i get excited and happy whenever ya send me asks :3

i like both, i have led lights but i dont use em much bc if i have free time i like to keep my room dark

YES i love them all but especially my lil wolf, my big teddy bears and my ikea shark <3

my friends <3

ummmmmmmmm... big ol articulated crow wings so i can cosplay my oc /hj

my dude, youre fucking trans

how did i do?

currently my death note t shirt

turn all the lights off and listen to music. thats,,, actually ok thats when im having a panic attack. um.. usually i squish my wolf stuffed animal or i fiddle with my bracelets

ty for all the asks :3

[silently--here]

so i was having a conversation with my friend the other day in ikea about how gender and sexuality is such a fluid thing and it doesn't really make sense for us to be expected to stick with one 'label' for our whole life because hobbies and interests are things that people expect to change as we get older, no one expects a 20yr old to be really into trucks and power rangers just because they where in to them as a little kid, not saying you can't be into trucks and power rangers as a 20yr old or whatever but if people expect these things change why can't they except that identity also changes as we grow up. we're always growing, always evolving and learning and it just doesn't make sense to me that as we grow and evolve our gender and sexuality can't also grow and change with us as we get new experiences and learn about the world.

anyway it got me thinking on how i am now a (mostly) gay man but yet i still have moments where i relate to the lesbian experience or i relate to growing up as a girl and i just feel that these parts of my/our(others who relate the same way that i do) life are such an important part of the journey we went on to get to where we are now and shouldn't be erased from our identity, it's not so black and white that once upon a time i was a queer woman and now im a queer man. i'm a queer man with the experience of what it was like growing up as a girl, a girl who for a while liked other girls and was terrified of that and thats part of me and part of my journey to where i am now, all those experiences make me and my identity and people shouldn't erase that from my or their life because it was an important part of who i once was. so while i am now identifying as a queer man i was once a girl, i was once nonbinary and i once loved girls as a girl and as nonbinary i once loved girls and boys and everyone and now im a man and i love men and maybe my identity won't change again but maybe it will and that's ok because life is fluid and if it does change again i will cherish the experiences i've had as a queer man .

[lanchang]

ok wait i just saw the xianle quartet pole like a week late so im not the fxhc shipper but i do have a vision: they both like being the protective one in a relationship so itd just be so funny to watch them go from disliking each other to begrudgingly liking each other to being protective of each other and just like kinda competitive about being more protective of the other. essentially what happens when both want to be the big spoon (+ baggage of a messy past)

NODDING AND TAKING NOTES. thank you for coming forward to shine light on the subject i am compiling so many notes and takeaways from this. its not something i could see happening in canon but lets have fun yk? i think they could bro out together in a bisexual gay romantic alliance way. i do think they have the least reason to hate each other in canon and i think that feng xin would admire hua chengs audacity in the right circumstances also fx has been surrounded by gay cunts his entire life so really i feel like hes kind of prepared. i like what you said about fx being impressed by all the things hc can do that makes sense to me maybe they could go into business together i cant remember where i ranked them on the ikea furniture challenge but i think they should be put in situations where they have to work together i do think they could find a lot to admire in each other if they opened their eyes to it actually i kind of like this the more i think about it

[floatingcamel23]

filipino memes my fellow filipinos will understand

USA: we have the statue of liberty!

brazil: we have the giant jesus statue.

Philippines: BIG IKEA-

(context: the largest ikea in the world is in pasay city Philippines)

nobody:

grab having the most random ads on the planet:

(context: if you saw the ads, its very funny.)

filipinos when they hear they are going to korea: LETS GOOO-

when they realize its not south korea:

(lots of filipinos here are k pop fans.)

filipinos trying to not download mobile legends:

(context: a lot of people play this game)

every filipino has 2 sides:

the one who swears in rapid filipino

the tiktok dancer.

(context: this was funnier in filipino-)

americans: NOOOOOO! YOU CANT WEAR A SKIRT AND ACT GIRLY! ITS NOT WHAT OUR ANCESTORS WANTED!

filipinos: anak, ok lang kung gusto mong umarteng babaero. ganyan din ang mga ninuno natin. ok lang maging femboy at bakla.

(context: in pre colonial Philippines, being gay was quite normal. there were lots of feminized males which has now been called the term "femboy". you can translate it if you want. its tagalog.)

me walking in the park:

me when in suddenly have the urge to drop everything and become a nurse: oh no-

(context: the Philippines is one of the largest producers of nurses. its basicly a phase in life to become a nurse and has become a running joke here in the philippines.)

countries having weird folklore creatures:

meanwhile Philippines: BIG BIRD EAT SUN AND MOON-

(context: is filipino folklore, theres a giant bird called the minokawa that is the cause the eclipses. you can search it.)

me with a friend of mine:

the ates shipping us:

me: the fuck-

(context: ate means big sister. the ates im talking bout are the old ladies who gossip and stuff and they ship any one they see and its hilarious.)

thats all.

[shmreduplication]

Ok so I was wanting a "woman gets mad at stuff in a movie that are universal experiences, not just getting mad at sexism" and since another movie failed to do that i watched Fight Club because in my imagination it was the exact movie i was looking for except starring a man instead of a woman. I've heard for years that it's a movie about Capitalism Bad but um....

Well, which is more likely to be true: a story is about its text or a story is about its subtext? For example which is a more true statement: 'Animal Farm is about animals' or 'Animal Farm is about the connection between power and corruption'?

So what I'm saying is Fight Club is about capitalism the way Animal Farm is about animals.

Ok so if Fight Club can't be about hating capitalism because it says it's about hating capitalism... And it's not about fighting or clubs because it's called Fight Club then what's left?

Hate groups can infiltrate organizations with the intention to ruin them p easily, people have a natural drive towards community and if they fail to make one over a real personality trait or shared interest then they'll make one over something stupid like gender. You have things in common with people from all walks of life and that's beautiful. Everyone has things in common with people from all walks of life and that's beautiful even if the thing is wanting to be in a fight club. Ikea furniture can drive you insane if your entire apartment is Ikea furniture. Men (wrongly) think building Ikea furniture is emasculating. It's not only normal but common for someone's fantasy version of theirself to be more visibly butch and flamboyant and gay than their real self

[letraspal]

We held hands the whole day. At lunch, he sat with his arm resting on the back of my chair. “If you can’t be gay at Ikea,” Snow reasoned, “where can you?” Was this the best day of my life? I’m nearly certain.

— Chapter 56, Any way the wind blows by Rainbow Rowell

Happy first anniversary AWTWB 🐀🌹

[sebassy-butler]

Ok, but during the scene where Light is trying to act inconspicuous and looking at that erotic magazine, and his dads like "oH mah GAWD!"

And everyone else thats spying on him is like "Oh, what a normal thing to do.."

My dude looks bored. He be lookin at those models like its an IKEA catalog. Absolutely zero interest, that magazine may as well been his recent test scores, or a Walmart receipt.

So here's my theory. Hes Gay. Flick-of-the-wrist fruity bitch. A homosexual. Whatever you want to call it, thats what he is.

And L's no exception, is he? Nope! Look me in the eye and tell me L Lawliet, detective of the fictional century, is not a state of the art, top tier Homo. I bet you can't do it.

That is all. Goodbye.

[sophiathetrainwreck]

Ok here’s a list of some of the best parts of AWTWB in no particular order mostly because I’m putting them down as I remember them

Chapter 16, just chapter 16

“If you can’t be gay at Ikea where can you be?”

Shepard wasn’t actually cursed he accidentally got engaged to a demon because he thought it would be cool to talk to one

Talking about Simon’s sexuality, and how he doesn’t really identify with anything at the moment

Me during chapter 62: are they... are they doing what i think they’re doing?? surely not...

Me during chapter 63: HOLY SHIT THEY ACTUALLY DID IT

Penelope being a chaotic badass by deciding to just summon a fucking demon in her apartment and actually breaking off Shepard’s engagement

Simon and Baz completely throwing away all the chosen one stuff in order to help throw Penny a party in her honor for taking on a demon and winning

Shepard’s last name is Love (of course it is)

I don’t know what surprised me more, that Agatha actually got a girlfriend or that she became the goat herder at Watford

Honestly though, good for her she gets to relax and vibe with the magic goats and her girlfriend for the rest of her life

DRINKING HUMAN BLOOD IS WHAT MAKES VAMPIRES IMMORTAL SO BY BAZ ONLY DRINKING BLOOD FROM RATS AND SHIT HE’LL GET TO GROW OLD WITH SIMON

Baz making out with Simon in the apartment the Mage indirectly paid for specifically because he knows it would’ve pissed the guy off

Shepard just literally vibing this entire time

The Salisburys finally getting closure with Lucy and Simon finally finding and bonding with his biological family (emphasis on biological because we all know that his friends are his family)

Pippa finally got her voice back after Baz accidentally stole it in their 5th year

 Evander trying to be intimidating but Penelope knocking him out with a single spell in less than a second

Simon getting a sword from the Salisburys

Honestly just Simon and Baz’s entire relationship you really saw how Simon was trying and there was so much more communication in this book and UGH it was just so good

Feel free to add any other things you enjoyed!

[amazonworrier]

Alright friend, I live for all your Quinntana headcanons/AU. So, inevitably I’m going to ask, how do you picture Quinntana if they lived in Friends verse? Does Quinn feel like Rachel Green to you?

OK friend, I need to start this by saying that Brittany is Phoebe and Rachel is Monica. Which isn't what you asked at all, but anyway.

As for Quinntana, I feel like it wouldn't be an exact fit with the OG Friends characters so I've taken a few creative liberties and feel the need to flesh out the universe a bit more to justify my choices haha:

- Blaine as Ross, because a few mutuals have sold me on the idea of Anderberry siblings lately. He has a niche job like 'piano tuner' or whatever, so we get jokes similar to the palaeontology digs they were always making at Ross on the show. He's divorced too, but it's a reversed Susan situation (eg. BLAINE was the one who realised he was gay).

- This, oddly, puts Kurt as Rachel which I kind of love because then we get Hummelberry old high school besties and roommates + eventual/on again off again Klaine. (Blaine saying 'we were on a BREAK' just fits for me idk). We keep Kurt as a 'runaway bride' in the first episode too. Because that would be hilarious if it was from like... Walter or someone.

- Santana as Chandler because she's most likely to have the zingiest one-liners, except she won't end up with Rachel's Monica because you've asked me for this as a Quinntana AU lol. She lives across the hall with Quinn and no one has any idea what she does for a living. I like the idea of her being in the closet to begin with, purely so she can get Chandler's coffee shop line: 'Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... Did I say that out loud?'

- Which technically leaves Quinn as Joey... Hear me out. She'd be the Joey in the sense that she's a struggling actress, and has an ongoing 'bromance' with Santana which is just chaotic because they're both too stubborn to admit when they mess something up so it just escalates to the point of absurdity at least once an episode. Imagine them trying to build Ikea furniture together?? I also love the idea of Quinn being a serial dater because she's so far in the closet that she just tends to be terrible in all her relationships with guys and can't work out why. Eventually she and Santana will hookup, and the 'they don't know that we know that they know that we know' storyline could play out with Rachel/Kurt/Blaine/Brittany gradually finding out Quinntana are a thing. The idea of Brittany witnessing it all by accident is just hilarious to me idk.

- BONUS: Tina is Gunther, but she's in love with Blaine not Kurt.

[yoda-fucks]

AWtWB review!! (HUGE SPOILER WARNING)

I genuinely think this is one of the best ways she could've wrapped up the story. Wayward Son didn't do much for the plot of this other than introducing Shep but I'm so happy with how the series went. I felt like it was very realistic even though it's fantasy lol.

I wish Shep and Penny spent more time with Simon and Baz but it's very in character for Penny to get mad at Simon and go off on her own mission. I had some trouble following their storyline but I loved how every time we learned even the smallest detail of Shep's life it just made everything more complicated.

I loved that we got to learn more about Baz's family and got the scene near the end where he's talking to Daphne.

I'm gonna do bullet points about my favorite romance things:

Simon and Baz

Baz getting mad at Fiona and basically deciding "ok I live with my boyfriend now" made me young again.

"if you can't be gay at IKEA where can you be?"

Their complete inability to keep it in their pants matched with their inability to just have sex was upsetting because I did not ask to be exposed like this

I didn't actually expect it to be canon that Simon and Agatha had sex but it makes sense lol.

Simon spent this whole book being painfully relatable.

Simon finally fucking said it!!! He told his boyfriend he loved him then made out with him on his aunt's couch. The sky is blue again.

Them making out in the Watford library and Simon thinking about all the places they could've made out while they were students 10/10

They set boundaries and are communicating!!! Like a couple!!!

Simon's weird obsession with biting Baz.

Simon saying that the thought of Baz biting him is hot

Penny and Shep

Shep just being a human disaster

Them kissing on the couch and Shep deciding to bring up his mermaid STI

Idk why but them kissing a lot cured my depression

Agatha and Niamh

The couple we needed but not the couple we deserved

Butch/Femme goat moms

Basically right around when Agatha started talking about Niamh's hair a bunch, I knew where it was headed I was so fucking happy

Goat birthing first dates <3

Agatha taking over as the goatherd.

WLW: herding goats since the 90's

Now, I only have one complaint and it's that I really didn't like the conclusion with Simon learning about his parents. Maybe if family swords were established earlier I'd be okay with it. Also, maybe if Ruth and/or Jamie suspected Simon was related to them earlier or if someone noticed Simon looking like the pictures of Lucy, idk.

[girlactionfigure]

There's something I need to get off my chest.

I'm an Ultra-Orthodox, Chassidic, Hareidi Jew. I live in Jerusalem, in an area that is exclusively Ultra-Orthodox Hareidi for street after street, suburb after suburb, for miles and miles. In all of these neighborhoods where the roads are blocked off and no cars drive on Shabbos, each black-hat-wearing family has many many children and literally no TV’s. I personally only ever wear black and white clothes, my wife only dresses in Chassidic levels of tznius (modesty), and my boys and girls all attend mainstream Hareidi Chassidic schools where the main language is Yiddish. My kids don’t and never will have smartphones, nor have they ever been on the internet at all. Period. They don’t know what social media is and they’ve never seen a movie — not even Disney animation. 

Having lived exclusively immersed in this culture for the last 21 years, I think I'm sufficiently qualified and well-researched enough to state that the consistent depiction of Hareidim and Torah Judaism by mainstream media, from Netflix to the daily news, is somewhere between delusion, slander and the literal equivalent of racism. If you consider yourself less closed-minded than how you imagine we Hareidim to be, then permit me to share a few personal details about my family, and other families in our neighborhood, to see how well your mental narrative matches up to reality:

- Besides learning Torah each day, most of the men in our neighborhood work full or part-time.

- Many women in our area work. Some even manage their own business or company. These are not special or “liberated” women — it’s so normal here it’s not even a discussion point.

- My wife is a full-time mother by choice, who despite attending an Ivy League College,  finds it a profound and meaningful thing to dedicate her life to. If she didn’t, she’d go get a job. Mind you, she also attends Torah classes each week, works out with both a female fitness coach (who’s gay) and a frum Pilates instructor, writes and edits articles for a couple global websites and magazines, and personally mentors a number of women. None of this is seen as unusual. 

- Kids in our community go to Torah schools where they learn (surprise!) Torah. They are fluent in three languages from a young age and the boys even read and understand a fourth (Aramaic). All the kids learn grammar, math and science. Weekly after-school activities have included music (violin, drums, piano), Tae Kwon Do, swimming, art, woodworking and robotics. The girls' school teaches tools of emotional intelligence. The principal of the boys' school doesn't hesitate to refer to kids to OT if needed. I practice meditation with my children multiple times each week. None of our kids think the world is literally 6,000 years old. They devour books about science and think it’s cool. They know dinosaurs existed and don’t find that existentially threatening. They have a telescope with which they love to watch the stars. 

- The women in my family (like the men) only dress modestly according to Hareidi standards. The girls don't find this burdensome or oppressive. Period. They aren't taught that beauty is bad. They're certainly not taught to hate their bodies, God forbid. Each morning when they get dressed, they are as happily into their own fashion and looking pretty as any secular girl is. They just have a different sense of fashion than secular culture dictates. (Unfortunately for me,  it's no cheaper.)

- The local Hareidi rabbis we receive guidance from are deep, warm, sensitive, supportive and emotionally intelligent. If they weren’t, we wouldn’t go to them.

- My boys assume they will grow up to learn Torah, as much as they want to, and then when they’re ready, get a good job or learn a profession to support whatever lifestyle they choose. My girls assume they’ll be wives and mothers (which they can’t wait for) but they're also warmly encouraged to train in whatever other profession they desire. (My 9-year-old daughter, chatting with her friend in the living room, just commented, "I want to be a mother and a teacher and an artist." Her friend replied, "I'm going to be a ballet teacher.") All options are on the table, and their future seems bright.

- We love living in modern Israel, feel proud and blessed to be here, and frequently count and celebrate its blessings. Everyone in my area votes. Sometimes not even for Hareidi parties. I pay taxes. (And they’re expensive!)

- As a Hareidi person, I’m glad we have Hareidi representation in the government — though I don’t always love or approve of how the Hareidi politicians act, or what they choose to represent. For the record, I'm equally dubious about secular politicians, as well. 

- While I don't spend much time in Tel Aviv, I do have a few close Hareidi entrepreneur friends who have founded high-tech start-ups there, and are — Boruch Hashem! — doing very well.   

- We don’t hate all non-religious people. Our kids don’t throw stones at passing cars on Shabbos. I doubt they even know anyone who would do that or think that it’s ok. We frequently talk about the Torah value of caring for and being compassionate towards everyone. As a family, we proactively try to find ways to judge others favorably (even those people who throw stones at passing cars on Shabbos.)

- We invite all manner of religious and secular Jews to join our Shabbos meals each week and the kids are open, happy, and confident to welcome everyone. (No, we're not Chabad.) One of the many reasons for having such guests at our table is to teach the kids this lesson.

- While we would technically be classified as right-wing and we don’t at all buy the modern “Palestinian” narrative, we certainly don’t hate all Arabs, nor do we have any desire to expel them all from the land. We warmly welcome anyone seeking to dwell here with us in peace and we are pained and saddened to see the suffering and loss of lives of all innocent Arab families and children — as would any decent human being.

- Of the few local families I know whose kids no longer identify as religious, none at all chose to disown their kids. The very thought, in such lovingly family-dedicated communities, is hard to imagine. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm just saying it's not as common as it's made out. Rather, these families have tirelessly, profoundly, compassionately committed to maintaining any connection with their children, and to emphasize that, no matter what, family is the most important thing. Because it is.

- We aren't just living our life blindly, dogmatically following empty religious rules; rather, we are frequently engaged with, exploring and discussing Torah's richness, depth and meaning. Our kids honestly love learning Torah, praying and doing mitzvos. They’re visibly excited about Shabbos and festivals. This lifestyle is in no way oppressive or burdensome for them. If you suggested to them it was, they’d laugh and think you were crazy.  

- We Hareidim are normal people: we laugh, we cry, we buy too much Ikea furniture, and we struggle with all of life's daily ups and downs, just like the rest of you. Some of our communities are more healthy and balanced, some are less so; some of our people are warmer, nicer and more open, some are more closed, dogmatic and judgmental; some of our leaders are noble and upstanding, and some are quite frankly idiots…JUST LIKE ANY SECULAR NEIGHBORHOOD IN THE WORLD TOO. But having grown up living a secular lifestyle myself, and today being Hareidi-by-choice, I can testify that in these communities there is generally a greater and more tangible sense of well-being, warmth, tranquility, connection and meaning. We love and feel blessed to be living this life and wouldn’t want any other.

If this description of Hareidi life is hard to swallow, be careful not to push back with the often-used defenses like: "Well, you're just an exception to the rule...", "You're just American Hareidim", "You're baalei teshuvah", "Well, I know a bunch of Haredim that aren't like that at all"....because the truth is, while there might be many Hareidim who aren't like what I described above, it's still an accurate description of literally hundreds of thousands of Hareidim in Israel and the US — a decent portion of all Hareidim in the world. Which is my very point — how come you never see this significant Hareidi demographic represented in the media, television series, or the news? How come we mostly see the darkest and most problematic cliches instead? 

And finally, if all the facts I've listed above about our communities are hard for you to accept as true, then perhaps the image you have in your head about Hareidim is less based on facts and reality and more based on stereotypes, fear, hate, and discrimination — like any other form of prejudice in the world. 

Care to prove me wrong? Well, you're welcome to come argue it out with me and my family at our Shabbos table on Friday night. It would be a joy and honor to have you. 

Doniel Katz