#it’s rebelcaptain coded and we deserve it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

youareiron-andyouarestrong · 5 years

Note

39 + 87 + rebelcaptain

survival/wilderness + aroused by the sound of her voice

always had high, high hopes

It could be worse was the first thing Kay had said after the meeting that officially declared he had been put under Cassian’s jurisdiction. The one they got after Cassian had to convince Intelligence and the members of the Council that walking into the Rebel base with a reprogrammed Imperial enforcer droid was a good idea.

It could be worse, Kay had said, they could’ve dismantled me down for parts and had you demoted.

Intelligence agents don’t get demoted, Cassian had replied. We get burned.

Oh. Kay had sounded like he was recalculating his formulas. Not much worse, then.

Since then, it became a kind of mantra Cassian had adopted. It could be worse. That was what he told himself when times became darker and harder. Things could be worse. He could be dead. It was always easier to feel a little better about your immediate situation when you weren’t irreversibly dead.

After… well, everything, he had made the mistake of saying such around his team (his people, his network, his rogues). Then of course, inevitably, someone (Bodhi, Kay, Baze, Jyn) would start listing all the ways it could be worse. They could be stuck on a swamp planet. Bodhi could be missing another arm. Baze could lose all his guns, and the spare grenades. Jyn might miss the evening meal. The suggestions would become increasingly more and more ridiculous as time went by and they stretched their imaginations (which were truly considerable) to the limit. It became a game, a slightly morbid one perhaps, but one that amused them at least, and allowed for them to gently tease Cassian out of his darker moods. Of course, someone would eventually trump them all with pointing out, We could all be dead on Scarif. And then game would end, at least until the next time someone said, It could be worse.

Cassian was trying to remind himself of that now. Things could be worse.

He and Jyn were on an uninhabited (hopefully) forest moon, true. They were laying low from the Imperials searching for them, that was nothing new. Practically routine. It would be about seventy-two standard hours before their ship came into orbit and Kay and Bodhi could reach them. They had food and shelter and it wasn’t raining anything other than water outside their little cave. Frankly, Cassian had survived on less than that.

If it wasn’t in a Force-be-damned cave, then he might’ve gone so far as to say he had definitely had worse.

But it was a cave, and anything that wasn’t in the immediate city proper was outside of his experience and thus Cassian hated it. None of his training had covered wilderness survival. He had been placed solely in cities and military bases and maybe an outpost or two, if he was unlucky. He had never needed to learn to survive in anything other than outside the law and within the Empire, and that was hard enough by anyone’s standards.

This was probably what kept Jyn from needling him too much about his (entirely deserved) grousing. When it was established that they were stuck here for the next seventy-two hours, Jyn had simply nodded, and said, “Time to find shelter.” In the time it took for Cassian to try to set up a transmitter and send Kay the needed coordinates, Jyn had found them a cave, wove a curtain of vines together to disguise the opening, found firewood and then headed out and returned with this particular moon’s species of fish. Somehow she’d gotten wet wood to catch flame and was now comfortably cooking what she’d neatly gutted and cleaned out of her catch.

Cassian could only blink at her.

Jyn raised her head, caught his bemused stare. “What?” she asked. “I learned with Saw. He was pretty empathetic about it, actually.”

“I can see that,” Cassian said finally. “How did you get the fire to catch?”

“I keep a little bit of flint in my pack at all times,” Jyn replied. “Plus, I used your spare flimsy.”

Cassian’s head snapped up at that, only to see Jyn’s grin flash like silver in the gloom. “Very funny,” he said flatly, in much the same tone of voice he used when Kay was attempting to be comforting or encouraging.

“I thought so,” Jyn replied comfortably, giving the fish a little tweak. “I only used my spare flimsy.”

The fish was good. Better than good, though Cassian had privately wished he could have a little pepper, maybe some spices to season it. He had given Jyn some of his closely hoarded supply of coarse salt for the fish, a small packet he kept on his person at all times. Along with roasted in the embers an edible root Jyn had also found and brought back, it was, all in all, not the worst meal Cassian had ever had.

“Are we starting the I’ve-had-it-worse game again?” Jyn asked as she smoored the fire. “You’ve got that look on.”

“I can think of other things to do,” Cassian said, mostly for the form of it.

“Mmm.” Jyn settled down comfortably. “Better string them out, if we’re here for the next seventy-two hours.”

“I have my datapad,” Cassian said, his eyes drifting closed. The sound of the rain was soothing, the smell of woodsmoke and fish comforting, and Jyn’s voice a pleasant hum in his ear. “I could get some coding done.”

A chuckle escaped Jyn. “With what signal?”

He opened his eyes then to give her a look, which just made her chuckle again. “City boy spy.”

“Civilized,” he grumbled, not with any real heat.

“I can’t believe you never had any wilderness training,” Jyn said, stretching out in the heat of the fire like a lazy felid. “My next training for the Pathfinders is going to cover that.”

“Poor bastards,” Cassian murmured, just to hear Jyn’s chuckle again, a sound he valued more than the beep of a transmitting code, the whirr of a well-programmed droid, a whisper in the crowd, Fulcrum, freedom and rebellion一 “And I wasn’t stationed in the wilderness; there was no use for me there. I was more useful in the cities.”

“Useful,” Jyn echoed, and then shook her head. “It was still short-sighted and ill-prepared. When you write the report for Draven, you can tell him I said so.”

“He’ll take it under due consideration,” Cassian replied and Jyn snorted.

A companionable silence fell between them for a moment, until Jyn tilted her head back to glance outside. “We’re going to have to share body heat once nightfall comes.” Her profile was averted to him and her voice now dispassionate, which might explain why Cassian’s initial response was an absentminded “Hmm.” Then when what she said registered, he let out a startled, “Pardon?”

“Body heat,” Jyn repeated, now stubbornly facing away from him. Hiding a blush? The rich light of the fire made it hard to tell. “Plus the bedding. The ground’s not going to do your spine or leg any favors,” she added with a scowl in her voice. Any mention of his bad leg or back always made Jyn glare like she’d like to make the misbehaving tendons and bones work for him, or else. “And I don’t know how much the temperature is going to drop between now and nightfall. Probably a few degrees, enough to make us uncomfortable. So it’s only practical.”

Cassian felt himself automatically move to wet his lips before checking that tic. Never mind she couldn’t see it. “I’ll trust you then.”

Now Jyn did look at him, straight through the firelight and into his eyes. “I know.” The words vibrated with the seriousness of the statement, and how Jyn was going to follow through with it with every fiber of her being. The dim red gold light make her look gilded and shadowed, something wrought from gold and onyx and ivory.

Cassian gave an involuntary head shake. This what came of being in caves. They stripped away all your common sense.

The night came on, and Jyn’s prediction about the temperature came true. It was more than enough to make them uncomfortable and to break out the temperature conserving blankets. Jyn had layered their bedding as much as she could and rolled up their jackets to use as blankets and pillows, as needed. One thing they both knew all too well in this life of theirs was to sleep whenever it was offered to them. Jyn slept facing the fire, and Cassian’s back to the right wall of the cave so that they both faced the entrance. He ran warmer than Jyn, who always seemed to be a degree or two cooler than everyone else. There was some awkward fumblingーwhere to put his arm, where she could rest her head. But they managed it. Cassian could smell the woodsmoke clinging to her hair, the weave of her scarf under his head. He kept himself as still as possible behind her, resting on his good hip.

It didn’t feel like his life, this part, this small island of quiet. His life was shadows and hard edges and smog filled skylines. It wasn’t the smell of rain and the warmth of a fire on his face and Jyn resting on his arm.

This wasn’t his life. It was just a respite.

Cassian woke slowly, only to find that the fire must’ve died down at some point during the night. That would be the only plausible reason for why Jyn was currently so thoroughly entangled with him that he couldn’t tell his arms and legs from hers.

It was either still dark or almost dawn. That strange, unreal, dreamlike time when the edges of the world were misty and indistinct. It could be worse, he tried to tell himself, registering Jyn’s warmth and her slow, steady breathing. The way her cheek rested on his arm. How relaxed and soft she was in sleep, such a contrast to her waking self. Things could definitely be worse一

Jyn let out a sigh, a little sleepy sound of pure contentment, snuggled back into him, her rear fit so snugly against his hips that he almost choked.

He did not want to think about any other time Jyn might make that noise. He absolutely did not want to imagine what other circumstances could possibly arise一

Shut up, Cassian told himself only somewhat frantically. Just shut. Up. He wasn’t some over eager teen falling all over himself over a member of the opposite sex--

Jyn rolled over in his arms, somehow one leg sliding between his, blowing all of Cassian’s rational thought to pieces. Another soft sigh, warm breath brushing against his neck, her left leg slung over his hips一who knew Jyn was a cuddler? Not him. He hadn’t even given himself permission to imagine what Jyn was like when she was asleep一

This is a dream, Cassian thought. It was arguably the worst (best) dream he’d had in awhile, so he might as well enjoy it while it lasted, and hoard the memory for the dark nights and shadowed days.

Jyn sleeping peacefully in his arms, soft sighs in his ear, warmth against his skin, the sound of rain and a quiet place untouched by anything bad or hard and dark一

Another sleepy sound, almost like a moan as she tried to get comfortable against him, tugging his arm to better adjust it for her head…

Don’t let me wake up, Cassian thought. Please, ancestors, the Force, whoever is running this forsaken galaxy, don’t let me wake up. Let me keep this, I have asked for so little for all my life, and this isn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, it’s probably the best, please let me keep it…

Jyn sighed against his neck, shifted slowly and languorously, her lashes falling and rising against his skin. “Cass…?” her voice was a low, husky rasp, one that made his blood run hot and fierce and what time was it even? Was this still a dream somehow?

In the dim light, he could see Jyn waking herself up, getting her bearings again. Her eyes flicked down to take in their entwined limbs and then back up to his face. Unconsciously his arms tightened around her, and then loosened again immediately. If she didn’t want to be there, then he wasn’t going to keep her there, he would never do anything against her express wishes if he could possibly help it.

“Cass,” she repeated in a whisper. If she wasn’t comfortable in this clench, there was no sign of it in her voice. But her eyes were watchful. “How’s your back?”

“I think it’s fine,” he whispered back. It felt too early to speak.

Jyn was quiet for a second or two, her fingers flexing against him. “You need to… do you have to go?” he asked still in a whisper.

“No,” she whispered back. “Do you?”

Never, ever, they could kill me here and I would die content, only you’d never allow that一

“No,” he said. “I don’t.”

They lay there in the dim, the world a very great distance away.

“We don’t have to go anywhere,” Jyn said softly. “We can just stay here… just for a little while.”

“Yes,” Cassian agreed. This was, after all, a very nice dream. “Let’s just stay here.”

The corners of her mouth lifted into a smile, a smile Cassian had once thought he would die to earn, and maybe still would.

“You make for a very good pillow,” she murmured, her body utterly relaxed along the length of his. “Best sleep I’ve had in awhile.”

Cassian was silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “Me too,” he said back, almost too low to hear. But she heard it. Of course she did.

#star wars #rebelcaptain #skitzofreak #prompts #my writing #otp: and make death proud to take us

93 notes · View notes

swhurtcomfort · 5 years

Text

Fic Rec February!

So sorry for skipping January’s Fic Rec Friday! It’s finally the first Friday of the month again, so here goes!

As always, alphabetical by author & my ramblings under the cut!

Water and Sunlight by antheiasilva - 12k, QuiObi (tcw era, they’re adults), wip In the last year of the Clone Wars, Qui-Gon watches over an injured General Obi-Wan Kenobi. Feelings ensue. Will they be able to move from one kind of relationship to another?

untitled by incognitajones - 1k, RebelCaptain, complete From the prompt: “Cassian is the little spoon”

Hands in the Dirt, Head in the Sun by naberiie - 1.5k, Gen, complete Finn's been having nightmares. Kix has similar shadows of his own, and officially-unofficially takes Finn under his wing. Their pasts mirror each other, and Kix hopes that Finn's recovery might mirror his own as well.

untitled by pandora15 - 700 words, Gen, complete Whumpmas Day 9 Prompt: Severe Infection/Sepsis

Leia, afraid by weary-hearted-queen - 700 words, Gen, complete As a child, Leia Organa had been fearless.

keep reading to listen to me yell~

Water and Sunlight by antheiasilva: I was sold on this fic from the very first chapter. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are very much contrasted in terms of their ideas about the Jedi Code and what is appropriate, and I’m always such a sucker for hurt!Obi-Wan convinced that he doesn’t deserve to be snuggled and looked after, and of course Qui-Gon lets him know that that’s rubbish. Whenever I see the tag “Obi-Wan Needs A Hug” the pressing question on my mind is...WILL HE GET ONE?? And this story does not disappoint! I also thought the QuiObi issue (that is, the fact that they were once master and padawan) is very conscientiously handled here, even though it’s hard for Obi-Wan to accept Qui-Gon’s boundaries. Can definitely recommend for high quality snuggle time and discussion of feelings!!

untitled by incognitajones: This is such a tender moment between the two of them! What really stands out to me is how well Jyn and Cassian understand each other, and how even though Jyn has exactly 0 patience for Cassian not wanting to take care of himself, she also knows his boundaries. The hurt as well as the comfort is visceral in this fic, I loved the image of pain dulled “like touching a blade insulated by a thick blanket”. Anyone who knows me knows I live for the hurtcomforty details of a fic, tell me where it hurts and what makes it feel better, especially if it’s their loved one’s touch. This little one-shot hit all those buttons for me.

Hands in the Dirt, Head in the Sun by naberiie Um hello, this is adorable? I’m in love with the idea of Kix in the Resistance and I melted at the thought of his experiences echoing Finn’s, and the bittersweet discussion of the scars it has left on both of them, but they have one another, and Kix just understands in a way Finn didn’t know he needed and I loved, loved, loved watch them both take steps towards healing over the course of the story. You couldn’t ask for a sweeter ending. XX

untitled by pandora15: Ok, confession time: sepsis is the end-all be-all of hurtcomfort for me. You’ve got the injury/infection, usually one that’s been hidden or not treated for some time. You’ve got the fever, the chills, the delirium (this fic is a bolt straight to the heart on that one, poor Obi-Wan and his disastrous visions of horrors he can only imagine), you’ve got the angst, the life-and-death drama, the hospital stay, but you also more than likely have a happy ending too, because antibiotics are wonderful and the GFFA has bacta galore. I particularly loved the image that we are left with (look away now if you don’t want spoilers), Obi-Wan safe now but still suffering, and Anakin by his side until the morning, when hopefully poor Obi will feel better. This is sooo sweet and gentle and if you like it you should also peruse Pandora’s Whumpmas Masterlist because let’s be honest, it’s ALL fantastic.

Leia, afraid by weary-hearted-queen: Wow. All I have to say about this is wow. I included this fic for the emotional hurt/comfort, but I think the character study of Leia is really the shining aspect of this, the conflict between Leia the Person and Leia the Symbol of the Rebellion. I loved the quiet support from Luke and Han, and the beautiful, flowy narrative. It’s moments like these that I remember why Leia has always been my favorite character in the series. I love how this highlights the before and after, Leia before the destruction of Alderaan and Leia after, how things will never quite be the same again. Just gorgeous writing. <3

#fic recs #fic rec friday!!!#hurt/comfort #star wars fic #mpost

26 notes · View notes

senatorrorgana · 7 years

Text

Pleasure With The Pain - Three

A/N: I'm blown away by how many of you guys really love this fic, I mean look at all the comments this thing has with just two chapters posted, it's crazy! But I am really glad that you guys love it, I've never done a soulmate au fic before so getting to explore it with these two is pretty awesome. I've got something else (I know, I'm adding more to my list) in the works for these two with other fics, but I'm glad that you guys have chosen to read this one, I hope you like the new chapter! :3 P.S. It's angsty.

Pairing: Rebelcaptain

Rating: M

Words: 1,956

AO3: (x)

Good sleep was always hard to come by for Jyn for almost all her life, always on edge and ready to run at a moment's notice, but last night had been different. She felt safe in her slumber for the first time since she was a child, she could feel Cassian’s presence while she slept, how safe and warm he was, it was a comfort she couldn’t really put into words. Jyn stretched slightly as she woke up, Cassian’s grip around her waist tightening ever so slightly as she moved though she knew he wasn’t yet awake. She couldn’t help but run her hands through his hair just a bit before trying to bury her face into his chest again, finding the warm and comfortable spot she had found last night. Jyn was...happy, she didn’t have a real reason to be happy exactly, but there was a slight smile on her lips and a warmth unlike any other coursing through her veins; for a moment she couldn’t help but think that maybe soulmates weren’t as bad as she had portrayed them to be.

Cassian finally stirred beneath her, taking in a deep breath as he woke up before Jyn could feel some of his muscles stretch as he tried to move around slightly. Jyn looked up at him, that smile on her lips still no matter how much she wanted to fight it, and a smile was playing on Cassian’s lips as well. She scooted up a bit more in bed, hovering just inches away from his face now, and Cassian didn’t even hesitate to close the distance between them, his lips warm and inviting while he kept the kiss slow and steady. Jyn climbed on top of him without a second thought, her hands tangling in his hair and his neck, desperate to get some contact with his skin while his hand went under her shirt slightly just to touch her lower back. It was on instinct that she grinded her hips just so slightly down against him and his moan was enough to make Jyn part from him, pushing herself away from him and moving to the other side of the bed. What had she been doing? What was she thinking? Cassian was still a stranger by all counts, soulmate or not, she didn’t go around kissing strangers.

He seemed to register the exact same thing after she pushed herself off of him, staring at her wide eyed and confused of his own actions as he propped himself up on his elbows. Jyn pulled her knees up to her chest, she wanted to be as far away from his as she possibly could in that moment, but there was still a part of her brain telling her that she wanted to touch his skin and wanted his hands on her again - that she needed those things.

“Kriffing hell.” Jyn mumbled under her breath.

“It’s just the bond.” Cassian tried to explain it logically, both to him and herself, as he fully sat up in the bed, slowly rising up to his feet while Jyn felt a jolt of pain rush up her back that made her yelp. “Sorry.” He quickly responded, turning to face her and having to hold himself back from reaching out to cup her face and see if she was alright. “Sorry.” He mumbled this time.

“What the hell did you do to your back? I don’t remember that one.” Jyn winced a bit as she stretched, still feeling the lingering pain from when Cassian first rose to his feet.

“It was when I was sixteen, got blown back in an explosion, ended up landing on a boulder and it fractured my spine.” Cassian sighed. “Happens almost every morning.”

“Never felt it before.” Jyn replied.

“That can happen, after soulmates meet sometimes they can feel things from the other they couldn’t feel before.” Cassian stated.

“You seem to know a lot about this stuff.” Jyn sighed as she crawled out of bed herself finally, feeling both better and worse with some distance between them.

“I had a lot of free time to read about it when I was younger.” Cassian mumbled as a sensation of embarrassment crawled up her spine, signaling that Cassian didn’t wish to talk about it anymore.

“We should get going, it’s a long way out to your droid.” Jyn changed the subject, feeling Cassian’s relief as she did so. “We have to go through the city, too many Stormtroopers are surrounding the outskirts right around the city, too many questions will be asked. If we go now we should get there by the afternoon, you can take that message of my father’s a go about your merry way.”

“What?” Cassian asked, looking at her curiously.

“I’m giving you the message, go decrypt it and do whatever you want with it, I don’t want any part of it.” Jyn grabbed some clothes out of the small dresser she had in the room and searched around for her boots on the floor.

“You’re not coming with me?” Cassian questioned.

“You think I’m going to go flying off into who knows where with you? I just met you.” Jyn insisted.

“We’re soulmates.” Cassian stated as if it were the most obvious answer to their problem.

“I met you yesterday after we gave each other some new bruises, and you were sent here on some mission by the Resistance to do god knows what when you found me? What was it? Kill me in my sleep? Torture me for information on my father that I haven’t seen in over ten years?” Jyn asked, she was lashing out and she knew it, she could see Cassian recoil slightly as she took a step forward, feeling the full force of her boiling sudden anger. “Look, I’m sorry that we’re soulmates, I truly am, you certainly deserve to have someone that actually buys into all of this kriffing garbage-”

“It’s real, you know it, you felt it, same as I did.” Cassian insisted.

Jyn wasn’t quite sure what to call it, what she felt shoot through her in that moment as he lashed out at her. It was something that she could only identify as a desperate attempt to reach out, to make her see what he saw and feel what he felt. It was true that she couldn’t deny all of this, she knew it, but she knew that she could try to save herself from this mess still and all the possible heartbreak that came with it; they were fighting in a war after all, death would eventually come for one of them all too early.

“...Let’s just get you back to ship.” Jyn sighed.

“I’m not leaving you behind here-”

“Can we talk about this later?” Jyn snapped. “We have a droid to find and a city to get through without raising any red flags.”

The silence that hung between them after she spoke was almost deafening now, she couldn’t feel much on anything through their bond except for a brief twinge of sadness before it was pushed away and turned into something numb.

“Yeah...sure.” Cassian nodded. “Get dressed, we should go.”

The pilot. He needed the pilot before he left.

Between everything that had happened with Jyn, Cassian had nearly forgotten that he needed the pilot who delivered Galen Erso’s message to verify to the Rebellion that he had in fact brought that message directly from Galen himself. It had been a few days since the Rebellion had gotten their hands on the information, Cassian just hoped that the pilot was still around, though knowing Saw Gerrera’s rebels, he was more than likely dead or worse.

“Where’s the pilot?” Cassian asked Jyn as she led them through the compound, occasional glances cast their way but nothing out of the ordinary.

“What pilot?” Jyn asked, refusing to turn back and look at him, keeping them moving and weaving through the crowds.

“The one who brought your fathers message, the defector.” Cassian clarified. “I need to bring him back with me.”

“Good luck with that, Saw had him talk to Bor Gullet.” Jyn sighed.

“Is he still alive?” Cassian asked.

“Sort of, if you want to call it alive. People who talk to Bor Gullet tend to lose their minds.” Jyn stated.

“Look, insane or not, I need to bring him back with me.” Cassian grabbed ahold of Jyn’s arm to make her pause, her body going stiff as he did so.

“Fine.” Jyn snapped, pulling her arm from his grasp and Cassian trying to mask the twinge of pain it shot through him as she did so; the bond he longed for since he was a child and learned about soulmates was suddenly something that he wished didn’t exist for just that moment, soulmates were supposed to bring joy, not pain. “He’s this way.”

She led them carefully though the compound again, heading up towards the exit and stopping by what appeared to be makeshift prison cells. Jyn checked in three of them before she found the one she was looking for, entering in a code and the doors shooting open. Cassian peaked in and saw a man in an Imperial pilot uniform, knees pulled to his chest and mumbling something that he couldn’t exactly hear; he supposed that Jyn was right about classifying him as sort of alive, he looked it in that moment.

“Hey, you, come on.” Jyn grabbed at the pilot’s arm and yanked him up to his feet, the scared look never leaving the pilot’s eyes. “It’s your lucky day, this guy needs to bring you to the Rebellion.”

“Rebellion?” The pilot questioned, looking between Jyn and Cassian, his mind still seeming to be somewhere else entirely.

“The Rebellion wants you to stand in front of the Senate and explain why Galen sent you with the message he did.” Cassian explained.

“I’m the pilot.” He mumbled in reply.

“Yeah, you are.” Jyn replied. “Now come on, we’ve got to go.”

The pilot nodded briefly, shuffling out of the prison cell after Jyn, Cassian wasn’t sure this pilot would even be able to stand in front of Mon Mothma and the Senate, but he had to try.

“Keep an eye on him, you wanted to bring him, he’s your problem.” Jyn dismissed.

Cassian wanted to say something, he wanted to lash out, ask her why she had to be like this, that it wasn’t his fault that the galaxy fated them to be together and now they were stuck with one another. All he ever wanted after losing everyone he ever knew when he was a child was someone to call his own, someone who would never leave him which was why he clung to the hope of finding his soulmate one day, and in turn what he got was Jyn Erso who was proving to be more infuriating than anything else. He was far from the perfect person for someone to be saddled with themselves for the rest of their live, but Cassian wanted to at least try, Jyn seemed intent on keeping her distance. If that was what she wanted, he’d give her that, it would be difficult and probably the most painful thing in the world, but if it made her happy - since that somehow still mattered to him despite wanting to cut her off as she was doing to him - then he would endure it. It wasn’t like he planned on living very long either way, getting to have a happy family and living a life beyond the war, if he was lucky he’d die soon and Jyn would be free of the bond that seemed to inconvenience her so much already.

#rebelcaptain #therebelcaptainnetwork #rebelcaptainficrecs #my writing #rogue one #jyn erso #cassian andor

26 notes · View notes