#it's probably not that deep but im gonna lose it nonetheless

[possamble]

just went back to the nightmare chapter and noticed this

i've talked my head off about her hiding behind her mother's portrait at the beginning of the nightmare but. hello what the FUCK does it mean that the second Marcille is overcome by terror and resigns herself to it

there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

The most basic thing I can think of is that it's visual confirmation that Marcille took her mother's words in the worst way possible?? she said "you'll have to watch your loved ones pass away" and Marcille heard "nowhere is safe." How gut-wrenching.

[kazuwhora]

hello hello, i see your requests are open now and can i request izana, wakasa, chifuyu and kazutora with an akutagawa!s/o? hope you have a great day/noon/night! ✨🤗

hi anon! sure! I will try my best with izana and wakasa since there's not tons to work with personality wise so forgive me if theirs are a little shorter heh. im gonna include a little blurb from the bsd fandom wiki for anyone not familiar with his character! I like these kinds of headcanon requests so if anyone wants to see more please feel free to request!

"Akutagawa has a black and white "survival of the fittest" view of the world, claiming that weak people should die and give way to the stronger ones. He is not afraid of pain and defeat His ruthless, vicious nature makes him one of the Port Mafia's most dangerous members, feared by both ally and foe. As violent as he is, Akutagawa maintains a generally composed and detached approach. Towards subordinates and superiors alike, he acts aloof, distancing himself from social interactions however possible. Nonetheless, his composure is fragile. Akutagawa is quick to lash out, ridiculing him for risking the bounty by acting recklessly. This quick temper often gets in his way, fuelling his actions to the core of his very being."

SUMMARY: izana, wakasa, chifuyu, && kazutora with an akutagawa!so

CW: hints of toxicity and violence, mentions of sex but not really all that nsfw-ish so otherwise not much else!

IZANA

- this is an interesting one because from what we know about izana, he is very similar in personality to akutagawa in terms of ruthlessness that stems from childhood trauma and isolation.

- in the case of a s/o with this personality, I think it would be a troubling relationship. lots of bitter fights fuelled by nothing but an inability to express vulnerability, while leaving both of you torn up inside and begging for someone to nurture the trauma and allow space for emotions.

- that being said, with toxicity and trauma also comes intense passion and desire. this relationship brings a lot of fire both in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom, with simple arguments often spawning into intense desperate (and lengthy might I add) sex. like, intense. it's almost like sex is the only safe outlet of these pent up emotions, providing a sort of comfort and also distraction for both parties.

- however as I said in general, this is definitely a toxic relationship. one where neither can help the other when it comes to growth and improvement on a personal level. it's unhealthy and enabling, but for a short lived fling it is hot as fuck im not even gonna lie. lots of hate sex too.

WAKASA

- so wakasa is another interesting one alongside izana given the lack of information and content we have about his character so please excuse the slight kc fanon version I have in my head of wakasa lol

- wakasa has a "don't fuck with me because I do not fucking care" type of vibe to him. I definitely think he's the type to completely disengage from the type of behaviours an akutagawa-type s/o might display. this leads to sort of a sense of competitiveness in trying to get some kind of reaction from him, and it has the potential (much like izana) to become toxic in nature

- any attempts to get under his skin are failed attempts, and the way he looks at you with that half bored expression is something that only triggers more of a somewhat emotional response from you.

- with that being said, my fanon version of wakasa is someone who while cold and aloof, is also quite a rational person. he's been typed by the fandom as INTJ which is quite a quick thinker, and I think he probably (despite not showing it very well) has a soft spot for you. but your passion and intensity (as well as your easily triggered dynamic) keeps him from completely being able to express this care in any way other than not engaging with your antics

- as much as there are some similarities with the type of toxicity in this relationship with both wakasa and izana, the intense passion isn't quite the same as it is with izana. instead, feelings of passion are more to the point and driven by pure instinct and desire rather than toxic passion. wakasa seeming like a very literal person, is actually quite mysterious deep down and has a lot (I mean a lot) of hidden desires and kinks that begin to emerge with time. it's rarely a conversation, and more often just something that happens that surprises you. you just have to go with the flow here, and let him take the reigns for once. it might actually be a good opportunity to allow for vulnerability to take the spotlight for once, which is something wakasa is surprisingly in tune with and quite to the point about.

CHIFUYU

- this is something much healthier than the last two. chifuyu, being an enfp is someone that's able to handle this level of intensity in a person while still being able to understand what's really going on.

- call him the trauma counsellor king. he values each and every response to a trigger that you might have. he notices patterns, he makes mental notes of things, and he does this all without making it seem like he's analyzing.

- to be honest he actually loves the spunk you bring on a day to day level. even though most of the time it's driven by bitterness or hate (not always towards him just in general) he is still able to see beyond that and appreciate you for what you are.

- with that being said, chifuyu will not stand for any toxic behaviour towards him. no sir he will not. threats and pushes for fights wont be tolerated, and he will either disengage or try to expose your vulnerabilities in an attempt at forced submission. this can be hard to get used to, especially with having a personality characterized by the inability to accept being vulnerable. but with time chifuyu is one to create a safe space for you to allow yourself to feel emotions beyond anger and resentment, and he encourages this.

- because of this very feelings based approach, intimacy with chifuyu is just that: intimate. he's extremely loving and doting, hoping that his sweetness can rub off on you a little bit. however he's also very accepting of your need for power over him (especially during sex) and will absolutely submit to your needs in order to please you.

- he really likes to put you in a place of pleasure though, so however that may come to you chifuyu is the one to deliver it.

KAZUTORA

- oh boy. this one is a doozy. listen. if we're talking about timeskip kazutora (as is the case with all characters i write about but I feel it especially important to remind ppl of here given his history), we're talking about someone who is quite literally walking on eggshells in terms of his trauma and emotional vulnerability.

- he's pretty good at being emotionally aware of his needs and struggles as well as the needs and struggles of those around him, but that doesn't mean that he's entirely healed or capable of managing toxicity or his triggers. he still slips up from time to time especially when things get hard, and sometimes finds himself falling into his old patterns. after all, he's only human. but this is where things could get messy in a relationship.

- for the most part, like I said, he's pretty good. so let's focus on that part first since I want to give him credit where it's due. he is very desperate for love and dedicated to providing something to his partner. in this case, he will seek to tap into his emotional vulnerability to provide some sort of comfort for you. he wants to see you happy, and calm, because he sees so much of his old self in you that it gets to him sometimes. but at the same time, he struggles with your relentlessness and can become emotionally drained when things get tough. he'll beat himself up for not being good enough to help you, and this is when he'll isolate and fall into old patterns.

- however, akutagawa's personality type isn't all bad. with a s/o like akutagawa, comes an immense amount of protection and loyalty for their loved ones no matter how tough things might be. in this case it might be hard to communicate this, but there will be times when it's needed in order for kazutora to restrain from old habits and ways of dealing with hardships. but he wants to share his healing with you, he wants you to be happy, and more than anything he understands the struggle of wanting to be happy and healthy but being afraid of losing the one thing that makes you you: your attitude and relentlessness. nobody understands this better than kazutora, which is why things between you can get frustrating and very personal for him.

- much like chifuyu, sex is driven towards pleasing you and only you. chifuyu leans more into switch territory however, while kazutora is 100% submissive. in this case it works out well, however he has a lot of boundaries and limitations when it comes to the way in which you function. he doesn't like degradation. instead, he thrives from praise and any sign of love and care. this might be tough for you to execute 100% of the time, but when it comes down to it the way his eyes twinkle for you is enough to make the ice around your heart melt just a little more each time.

[jiminrings]

LINCHBOX LOVERS FIRST KISS IM BEGGING

cold senior!y/n x stem major koo masterlist :D

jungkook’s never really had his first kiss and he might faint in nervousness

there’s something really important that jungkook’s nEVER said to you

he kinda thinks it’s a life or death scenario <3

the two of you are together now after all!! you know things about each other, that’s just how it is

you know that his oddly specific fear is having a spider crawl on him while he’s asleep and that he can’t read sheet music or a single note for the life of him!!! lol that’s why he’s in stem

jungkook knows that you like cracking your knuckles on your hand using the same hand, and that you’re actually SCARED if you even try to crack them with your opposite hand

one time jin caught you off-guard and cracked your knuckles all at the same time and you hate that too so you ended up crying to yoongi

the two of you will eventually know almost everything about each other in due time!!

but jungkook really really wants you to know right now

right now IS due time

yoongi’s out to pick up jin because he’s in another state that’s seven hours away!! it’s wholesome friendship but more or less begging with the promise of kim “mr. student affairs” seokjin

“i will coerce your physics teacher bc i’m buddies with him to give you an A+ this semester if you pick me up rn :-)”

.... hehe.......... along those lines.,.....,..,..

you tagged out when yoongi asked you to come with him because you wanted to spend some time with jungkook, and then yoongs flat-out pretended not to hear what you just said and then left

once again, tae does nOT know if he’s helping but!!! he tagged along with yoongi :D

atleast everyone now knows that yoongi’s safe because he definitely will not be sleepy with all of tae’s chattering

this is the first time you’ve invited jungkook over with absolutely no one else in the dorm

no seokjin who’s hovering and keeps teasing for the two of you to sit two rulers apart

no yoongi who insists on keeping all the lights turned on so there would be no funny business

in fact, there’s no funny business that’s happening

and that’s what jungkook wants to talk about!! that’s where he’s getting at!!

he knows you’re just respecting his space and his decisions!! that’s how considerate you are

even if jungkook hasn’t explicitly said anything about his experiences and lack thereof, jimin once told him that everything about him screams ahhckkk vIRGINNNNN!!!!!! so that’s perfectly embedded into his mind

after some thinking though, kook finally had the handle on himself to know that he’s ready — one first time at a time :-)

it’s the whole reason why jungkook didn’t think twice of coming over when you asked him to

and he’s using this time now to tell you what he hadn’t before

right now when the two of you are watching a movie and his head’s resting on the crook of your shoulder with your hand on his knee, to tell you that —

“i haven’t had my first kiss.”

jungkook blurts out and it’s not only him that’s a little taken-aback with the suddenness, feeling your head tilt to come look at him

“really?” your nose scrunches but there’s no judgement to your eyes to which jungkook is extremely thankful for, being extra observant of your reaction

he nods almost eagerly now that the weight’s gone from his chest, making you smile slightly

“that’s okay.”

you only hum in reply and guide jungkook’s head back to your shoulder, resuming on watching the movie with no worries in mind

there’s no worries but there are definitely a LOT of thoughts in ur mind,,,,

you’ve kinda expected it from the start but there’s nothing wrong about it!!!

the other entire reason you knew that jungkook’s never done anything was because jimin kept squawking ahckkckk VIRGINNNNNN!!!!

you can’t forget that time when jimin also needed to interview an athlete for his paper and he needed you specifically

the two of you were talking and jungkook’s approaching you with a skip in his step and your lunchbox and jimin just wanted to fuck with him a lil so he squawked it out loud

...... jungkook really insisted that it wasn’t true but he kNEW no one was buying it so that’s when he started plotting his revenge on jimin ://

just when he’s gonna get a little too deep into his thoughts on why you’re so nonchalant, you’re the one who catches him off-guard this time

“do you want to kiss me?”

he goes rigid and sits upright completely, head eagerly nodding

“o-of course.”

:-)

“oh. okay.”

..... what

........ he’s lost

jungkook’s a little confused because that’s it??? no additional remark?????

you’re just sitting on the couch like you have been for the past hour and that’s it!!! you’re back to watching your movie AS IF you haven’t asked him if he wants to kiss you!!!

what now

your eyes are just glued on the screen and he’s starting to think that love & other drugs is more interesting than him

jungkook visibly scowls and you can see him from your peripheral vision, resisting the urge to chuckle at his displeased face

“this is the part where you’re supposed to kiss me.”

his deadpanning is what breaks you, making your eyes tear away from the screen that’s rapidly losing your attention at this point

jungkook smiles meekly at your giggle, seeing you tilt your head to playfully taunt him

“oh so i’m kissing you? you’re not kissing me?”

hee-hee

“that’s my plan,” he says surely, putting his hand on top of yours before scooching much closer to you than he did before

“mhmm. sure.”

jungkook smiles in victory when you agree, drumming his fingers on your knee in anticipation

..... nothing’s happening

........ THERE YOU ARE AGAIN

your eyes are back on the tv but it’s obvious that you aren’t focused on the movie that’s playing, a playful glint more than evident

jungkook’s not annoyed but he’s definitely on his toes, jostling you by your arms to get your attention

“just kiss me! are you gonna make me beg at this point??” he frowns in waiting, quickly getting antsy with all your harmless teasing

“can you beg, jungkook?”

you ask dryly with the same playful air in your tone, the sudden return of the question to his court making him double-take

his eyes have considerably widened with what you just playfully and harmlessly asked him, cheeks pink with the teasing

“you’re so impatient. i was gonna kiss you anyway, y’know?”

jungkook shies away from your trained gaze on him but meets it intensely when he feels a weight on his lap

you’ve transferred seats from the couch to his lap, your bum placed on his thighs instead of his crotch so you would be able to give him some leeway with all of this being his first

if jungkook was flustered before then he’s probably burning now, eyes only focused on you that’s meant for him

he’s not quite sure what to do with his hands so he follows his split-second decision of putting them on your thighs since the rest of your legs are placed behind his back, seeing to it that he was already slouching on the couch in the first place

you smile in appreciation when he does, his once-awkward hands in your thighs now becoming natural with the reassurance

jungkook looks so gentle

he’s so delicate even when you’re all clothed in pajamas and you’re the one who’s sitting on his lap, so careful to the point that he doesn’t want to move to preserve the moment

you tangle your hand on his hair to card through it more smoothly, making him tense as he takes it as signal

“i-i close my eyes, right?”

he asks nervously to which you nod to understandingly, carding through his hair more to get him to relax a little bit

wait actually the mental image of jungkook being O_O when you kiss him almost makes you cackle out loud which is why you hide your face on his neck

oblivious to you trying to contain your laughter, jungkook’s gotten even mORE tense because your face is buried on his neck

-_-

^ that instead of of o_O !!! yeah much better

IT’S OKAY IT’S OKAY YOU’RE NOT LAUGHING NOW!!!

jungkook’s waiting for you to make the first move and he looks both flushed and pale at the same time, feeling apologetic for having made him that way

“let me kiss you first. you’ll have a feel for it once i do, okay?” you speak as soothingly as possible, making him nod in understanding so you’d know

“relax, baby. you just complement me,” your hands rub up and down his arms that are exposed since he’s wearing a shirt instead of a hoodie this time, trying to get him loose

“y-you’re really perfect and i love you.”

jungkook trips over his words but he means them nonetheless, mouth contorting both in confusion and amusement when you grin at him

god, jungkook’s so endearing :(((

“i meant complement the way i kiss and not compliment me, kook,” you chuckle and he sheepishly reddens at his misunderstanding, his mind being taken away from it when you kiss his cheek. “but that’s okay. i love you too.”

“it’s just me. relax.”

you scratch that special spot behind his ear that gets him to calm down and all pliable, having noticed it first when you hugged him for the first time and buried your head on his neck, rendering him mush in your arms right away

jungkook’s relaxed enough that he doesn’t feel like fainting when your face is this close to his, going a little cross-eyed with how lovestruck he is for you

and then you lean in.

jungkook almost pANICS but the way you hold him gets him to be soft instantly, the unnecessary worry in his mind melting away immediately

he practically croons in satisfaction when the taste of you hits his tongue and engulfs him fully, eyelids closing in pure ease with the delight he feels

you taste so sweet and perfect that jungkook finds himself chasing after your kiss, unconscious to the fact he’s really kissing you now

his head angles when you tilt yours and the taste of your lips hits him harder this time that he grunts before he moans inaudibly, melting even deeper when you tug his hair softly

jungkook’s looking for more that he scowlS (!!) when you pull away with an amused look on your face,

“you’re supposed to breathe, jungkook.”

“you’re kissing me and i don’t know how to breathe!!!! i literally don’t know if i can!!!”

he’s only noticing nOW that he wasn’t breathing before because of the way his chest rises and falls heavily, cheeks all hot and his neck flushing

“don’t they teach breathing and shit in stem?” you ask playfully that earns you a soft yet amused glare, a pout being sent your way. “try breathing, baby.”

you lean once more and this time it’s easier, taking it slow to get jungkook used to kissing AND breathing simultaneously

he’s easily overwhelmed with the taste of your lips and not to mention the fact that you’re seated on his lap!!!!!

the rhythmic caresses of your thumb on his cheek guides him to breathe, the fact that jungkook’s a quick learner now dawning on you

“good job, baby.”

jungkook’s grinning at the praise you give him, feeling as if those words aren’t the last that you’re gonna tell him

“now try kissing me.”

...

..... oh god there it is

jungkook looks nervous and calculating even, the overwhelment present in his gaze and he’s looking at your neck instead of your face

you’re just about to tell him it’s okay and climb off his lap when jungkook takes you off-guard and tugs you down, lips meeting yours wholly in eagerness that you lowly moan before you even know it

you’re tugging softly on his hair and it spurs him on to try and taste you even deeper, pulling on the front of your shirt to get you closer

this time, you feel like yOU’RE not breathing rip

“your lips are getting puffy.”

you point out to jungkook who has some sweat sticking to his forehead even if your dorm’s fully airconditioned

a frown goes in place of the same red and puffy lips that you’ve just pointed out, the sheer eagerness of jungkook shooting straight both to your ego and your heart

“they’re not puffy enough.”

jungkook looks blissfully fucked out and you’ve only kissed him now.

tonight’s only for his first time kissing and jungkook deems it insufficient that he’s only had the heart to kiss you tonight, soft and slow kisses on your jaw that render you surprised, kissing you by the line until you look at him fully

“kiss me more.”

.

.

.

.

it’s their first miscellaneous drabble!! as always, lmk what you think :D what do you want to see from the lunchbox lovers next? send them here <3

[its-deputy-caleb]

Arthur Morgan x ftm!Reader

this was a request for @d417h​!! im sorry this took so long but i didn’t like the way i wrote it the first few times so this probably won’t flow or sound as good since i kinda hit a creative wall block for a moment!! anyway I hope this is okay and similar to what you were imagining!! 

---------------------------------

It was five years ago when you’d first met Arthur Morgan. Five years since he saved you from a stagecoach robbery. Back then you had little to no money and did as many odd jobs as you could find. Mostly you were just a guard to coaches but you could shoot and that’s all the job required.

It was a low point with no money and no direction in life, just jumping around between jobs in a means to make enough to support yourself. That was until a couple of O'Driscoll Boys decided to rob the coach you were guarding and you thought that was the end of things.

You certainly didn’t expect a man to cover for you while you reloaded. The stranger and yourself worked together to bring down the group of O'Driscolls. When the shooting stopped he held his hand out and introduced himself as ‘Arthur Morgan’.

“What the hell am I gonna do now? I’m certainly out of a job.”

He chuckles quietly to himself, whistling for his horse as his hands came to rest on his belt.

“You may be right about that but you can shoot. Common, I think you’ll fit in well with us.”

From that day on you never looked back on your old life and officially became a member of the Van Der Linde gang. You see, Arthur hadn’t just saved you from some old O'Driscolls, he gave you a home with meaning and purpose.

It was a fresh start with the gang, nobody knew your secret, you weren’t out and nobody knew you from before you transitioned. For the first time in a long time, you were happy. The gang gave you a sense of freedom you’d never had before as you weren’t constrained by society. Instead you were free to be everything you ever wanted for yourself.

Over the years you and Arthur had become very close friends but you couldn’t ignore the way you felt about him. You couldn’t ignore the way your heart raced when you saw him or the way your stomach jumped over itself when he did something as simple as sit beside you at the campfire.

It was hard to suppress your feelings though, as much as you wanted to spend more time with him you often had to avoid him. There were nights when you’d wanna sit with him for hours in the peaceful quiet but you’d need to go to your tent to remove the bandages around your chest when they were too tight. The same went for bathing, you could never do it with the others or near camp and always had to run off to a hotel at the end of the day.

If you got hurt on a job, Arthur would undoubtedly try to help patch you up. But that couldn’t happen without him realising you were trans and as much as you loved Arthur with all your heart, you’d always stay true to yourself first.

You knew deep down that Arthur wouldn’t care if he found out you were trans, that he wouldn’t view you any differently but deep down you couldn’t help but fear rejection nonetheless. The thought of losing Arthur from your life scared you to bits and you’d hate to think what life would be like without him in it.

Little did you know that Arthur had cared about you for a long time, he was just very good at hiding it.

-

It was just an ordinary night and you were completing your routine of removing the tight bandages from your chest. Well it was ordinary until you were interrupted by none other than Arthur Morgan himself.

“Hey Dutch wanted me to ask— Oh Jesus, when did you go and get yourself hurt ya damn fool!”

Out of concern Arthur rushes towards you and places a gentle but tentative hand on your rib cage, just barely touching the bandages. You however, are frozen in place from fear, just waiting for him to realise there was no blood and you were in fact, unharmed.

“Oh-“

“Yeah Oh…”

For a moment everything was silent and still until you heard shuffling. You were convinced that Arthur was leaving the tent, ready to go tell Dutch you needed to leave the gang but instead a pair of arms camp to wrap around your stomach. Arthur held you in a warm embrace with his head resting on your shoulder as he tried to get you to relax.

“Hey now, its alright— I ain’t gonna tell no one. You’re safe.”

Apart of you just wants to relax completely into him hold but there’s another part of you, much more fearful that still thinks the situation could go wrong.

“No Arthur I— Fuck I didn’t want you to find out, not like this anyway. God I’m sorry.”

Arthur spins you in his arms so your faces are so close your noses are almost touching. 

“Why you sorry for? You know I could never hate you, hell I care about you more than I’d care to admit and that ain’t changing anytime soon.”

You’re shocked. Arthur cares about you? And not only that but is more than accepting of you being trans.

“Arthur what the hell are you saying?”

He lets out a soft gentle laugh, one that has your stomach feeling warm and he leans forward to kiss your temple.

“I’m saying that I love you. I have since the first day I met you and no matter who you are ain’t gonna change that I have always loved you.”

Arthur then brings you in for a hug, his arms wrapping around your back as yours cling to his jacket. There, in his arms, you feel completely loved. 

“Common, let’s go lie down.”

Arthur takes his coat off and leaves his back facing you so you can remove the bandages and place a baggy shirt on. When you’re done Arthur lays himself down on your cot and opens his arms for you to rest your head on his chest.

You’re just about nod off to sleep with Arthur’s hand softly rubbing at the nape of your neck when you lean up and place a sleepy kiss under his jaw.

“Love you too…”

[maybebanks]

Something About Him

JJ Maybank x Reader

“He’s just an asshole, Kie,” you sighed, flopping onto the couch of the Chateau.

“Yeah but you should get your stuff. Just ask him to put it on his porch so you can pick it up,” Kie suggests.

You recently broke things off with your 2 month boyfriend because you were feeling out of love. It wasn’t a sudden thing, if fact, each and every one of the pogues had run into you crying over something he did to you.

Except JJ. There was something about him that made you never want to let him see you vulnerable. In the 3 years you’ve known him, you’re sure he’s never seen you cry, and you’d like to keep it that way.

It was like you and JJ had an ongoing battle, of who was stronger. You hoped you could win that mentally, because almost every day he proved he was physically. It was always playful, but it did irritate you sometimes.

“Heads up!” You heard JJ shout suddenly. Kie rolled her eyes at the interruption of girl talk.

You jumped up, expecting a soccer ball to fly at your head. Then, JJ approached laughing.

“False alarm,” Kie said, getting up and walking outside, saluting you.

“It was not a false alarm! Y/n’s head is up!” JJ argued.

“What the fu-“

Before you could argue, JJ picked up up by your waist, pulling you up from the couch and throwing you over his shoulder.

You gasped when your stomach collided with his shoulder.

“See??” JJ laughed. When you finally got your breath back you started punching his back.

“Put me down!! I’m not fucking kidding JJ! Let go!” You screamed, not in the mood currently.

“What’s up your ass?? Oh wait lemme see,” JJ joked, gently tapping your ass as it was basically next to his face.

“JJ!” You shouted again, but your voice cracked, in a sad way. You wanted to be playful like you always were, but you were sad at heart.

JJ frowned, but he didn’t up you down. Instead he walked with you outside to the rest of the group.

You groaned, “JJ it’s not funny! Please,” you pleaded,

His arm had a hold on both of your legs below your butt.

Pope was the first to notice, “JJ, stop harassing her,” Pope joked.

“C’mon were just having fun, like we always do. Right Y/n?” JJ asked.

You didn’t answer.

So JJ helped you off of him, setting you down on a hammok.

“What’s wrong? It was just a joke,” JJ suggested.

You frowned, “yeah good fucking idea JJ,” you said sarcastically, getting up, and bumping shoulders with him as you passed him.

“Whoa. I didn’t mean to make you mad,” JJ added, looking at the group for help.

You ignored him. Walking away and then inside.

“Jesus! Y’all see that? Why is Y/n the only girl that is nice to me one day and the next a total bitc-“

“Whoa dude, watch your mouth,” John B interrupted, lightheartedly.

JJ sighed, grabbing a can of Coors and sitting beside Kie.

“She’s going through a lot of shit right now, JJ. Cut her some slack,” Kie reasoned.

“What kind of shit?” JJ asked, now concerned if something was seriously wrong, like something at home.

“Not my place,” Kie shrugged, she knew how you would be mad at her if she told JJ about your boy problems.

“It’s it about that boyfriend dude?” John B asked, totally insensitive to what Y/n might want.

“Did he fucking try something? God if he hurt her-“

“If he hurt her? Dude where have you been this past week?” Pope said jokingly.

“Guys, she probobly wouldn’t want us talking about this,” Kie interjected.

“No! What’s going on? I told that douchebag if he ever hurt her I’d kill him,” JJ paused and grabbed the gun holstered in his waistband, “guess it’s time to keep my word,”

Kie raised her eyebrows and instantly grabbed the gun from JJs hand, holding it awkwardly so it slipped out of her hand, “don’t be ridiculous!” Kie scolded.

“You can’t grab a gun like that!” JJ suddenly argued.

The group laughed at JJ’s statement, and silence fell. JJ felt a nervous feeling in his gut at the thought of something hurting you. He didn’t want to lose his best friend.

“I should talk to her,” JJ blurted, standing up and walking from the group.

Kie and Pope attempted to reason with him, but he didn’t seem to care. He knew you wouldn’t want to be alone.

When he got inside, it was dark exept by one light. He followed the light to John B’s room. You were sleeping. You head on the foot of the bed, no blanket on you.

He sighed, you looked so sweet.

You took a deep breath, and JJ though you might be awake. But you weren’t.

JJ found a blanket and decided to drape it over you, but when the fabric touched your bare skin, you immediately awoke.

JJs eyebrows rose, “good morning,” JJ said on instinct.

You mumbled a few things, then sighed, “hi,”

JJ smiled softly, then looked down at the bed, next to you, asking if he could sit there.

You nodded, then moved to sit up as well.

“Hey...uh..we usually have fun messing around...I shoulda let you down when you asked, though.” JJ said, his eye contact wavering.

“Is that..an apology?” You joked sarcastically.

JJ smiled, “why don’t you show me...and we’ll find out?”

“I’ve got nothing to apologize for. You were being a dick.” You answer bluntly.

“As much of a dick as your boyfriend?” JJ asked.

You first thought of correcting him, ex boyfriend. But then you wondered how he even knew your boyfriend was a dick to you in the first place. When you tried so hard to keep that from him.

“Can we not talk about my life mistakes for one night please?” You asked.

“Sure..fine.” JJ answered.

You suddenly felt cold, so you cling to the blanket JJ gave you.

“What? You just gonna sit here, watching me all night?” You joked. Leaning back towards the pillow.

“Maybe I will,” JJ challenged, laying beside you.

A few moments later, your eyes were heavy, and when you started to close them, you opened them again, remembering JJ.

“You can sleep, you know. It’s late.” He said, taking off his baseball hat and throwing it on the floor somewhere.

“You gonna stay here with me?” You asked, it wasn’t in a rude tone, almost as if you wanted him to.

“Sure,” he shrugged.

You moved deeper under the covers, struggling to find a comfortable position on the pillow. Finally resulting to JJ’s shoulder.

JJ laughed to himself, you were so salty to him before and now you were cuddling him like a teddy bear. If he had to admit anything, he was enjoying it.

You shuffled a bit, moving your hand over his chest. In return, he put his arm around you. Closing the gap between the two of you.

JJ wanted to stay awake, just in case you needed anything, but soon, he succumbed to his tiredness.

It is said that boys don’t feel the emotions after a breakup for a while, until they realized what they lost. But your ex boyfriend, being the possessive asshole that he was, hated that you broke up.

He managed the leave you alone during the day, but that was before he decided to have a ‘few’ evening drinks.

Tonight, he was drunk, and he knew you’d be at the Chateau, so he drove there, stumbling inside without waking up anyone.

He found you. Lying in bed with JJ.

So he read it. How else was he suppose to read it? You were in bed with JJ. Your bodies tangled together. JJ had his shirt off. What guy didn’t sleep with his shirt off in the outer banks?

He thought about beating the shit out of him, but instead, it hit him. A way to hurt you more, emotionally, permanently.

So in a silent fit of rage, he stormed out of the Chateau.

-

The next morning, JJ woke up before you. He gently moved you off of him so you wouldn’t wake up. And turned to his phone to check the time.

When he did, though, he was surprised by the messages he received by an unknown number. He sat up, sitting at the edge of the bed, and unlocked his phone.

When he opened the messages, there was no text. Just images.

“Fuck,” JJ mumbled in a disappointed tone. They were pictures of you.

He scrolled through them, there were only two, but he felt ridden with guilt at the sight.

You were topless, covering your chest with one arm. And wearing a flimsy white thong-like underwear.

You didn’t take the picture yourself, it was taken with flash, probably by the person that sent it to him.

You had one hand out, as if saying stop, and the next one you were covering your face. There was a small smile on your face. But more of a nervous one than overwhelmingly happy.

JJ frowned. He’s never seen you in this way, he knew if you ever found out you would hate him. This is not how he wanted it to go.

JJ pressed the off button and set his phone down. He needed to get this guilt off of him, maybe a smoke would help.

You felt JJ gone, so you decided it was time to get up as well. You groaned at the intensity of the sun. Your window was facing the sunrise.

You hoped it wasn’t too early, you reached for your phone on the beside to check the time.

Instead you grabbed JJs. You could tell because it was cracked all over. You knew his password too, it was something like 911.

Nonetheless, you pressed the screen and saw the time it was 7:00am.

You decided to text Kie and see if she was awake. So you opened messages.

Your eyes immediately filled with tears. Nude photos of you were on JJ’s phone. You immediately felt sick inside, so vulnerable, so afraid. JJ saw these.

The tears fell, you were crying now. Not able to look at the photos anymore. You dropped the phone on the floor.

It made a somewhat loud noise, and soo after JJ entered the room.

He didn’t say anything until he saw you, he saw your face decorated with tears, “oh shit...what happened?” He said, oblivious as usual.

“N-nothing...I’m ..Im going home,” you muttered, sniffling and trying to walk past him.

“Hey, hey. Uh.. hold up. Didn’t you say you got locked out of your house,” JJ added.

“I’ll break a window,” you deadpanned, trying to get past him. Again he stepped infront.

“Y/n. Please hold up,” he gently grabbed both of your shoulders, so you were facing him.

But you avoided eye contact, you didn’t want him to see you cry.

“You- you can’t do this....how could you do this to me?” You shuffled, trying to push past him still.

“Do what?!” He asked, completely shocked.

“Whatever JJ. I don’t want to look at you. Get the fuck out of my way,” you demanded, pushing his hands off of you.

“Chill! Explain to me what I did Y/n/n,” he pleaded. JJ used your nickname, maybe to show that he really cared. Which was odd for him to show.

You sighed, realizing he was stronger than you anyways, you couldn’t get past him.

You opened your mouth to speak but instead more tears fell down your cheeks.

JJ sighed is sadness, pulling you into a hug. You didn’t return the hug. But felt nice to let him.

As he was hugging you, he finally noticed his phone on the floor, and understood what you had seen.

“This about those pictures? Y/n I swear I didn’t ask for them, some random person texted them to me last night while we were sleeping.” He explained.

You cried harder, finally clinging to JJs shirt.

“Why would he do that? JJ, I didn’t want you to see that. I didn’t even want them to be taken. I’m not a slut...please...” you mumbled, pleading for him to believe you.

“I know. I know okay? You’re beautiful. I’ll keep this between you and me okay? It’s gonna be okay.” JJ suggested, rubbing your back.

You’d never seen him so soft, maybe this was what you needed from him.

You told JJ that your ex sent them to him, and JJ took it upon himself to later beat him up until he deleted the photos and swore to never send them out again.

It took you a minute to see JJ the same way, he’s still your best friend. And maybe, you could appreciate his sweetness another way. Was it normal for best friends to share the bed together the way you do?

🤍 thanks for reading 🤍

JJ masterlist

[beomglocks]

colors ; k.th

part of the badlands series!

colors: “you’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece.”

based off halsey’s badlands album.

warnings and other: museum curator!taehyun, old money!y/n, mentions of depression and grass smoking, little bit of angst i guess??

taehyun sighed as he took down the 11th painting this week. the museum hadn't been very busy in the past couple of weeks, maybe because the weather was getting colder. one part of him figured that many people just wanted to be bundled up at home watching holiday themed movies and drinking warm drinks rather than appreciating enchanting artworks.

he couldn't fool himself though, he knew the truth. today's generation didn't care about the fine arts anymore. a shame, seeing as everything around them seemed to be inspired by it.

kang taehyun worked at his local museum. he had been offered the position by the owner one night while roaming the place. this should've been a red flag looking back. the owner seemed desperate for someone to fill in the position since the previous employee had left without notice. nonetheless, taehyun took the job and didn't regret it one bit.

open 24/7, the red haired boy was always working on the clock. not that there was much to do seeing as most of the people his age or even a bit older didn't hang around museums purely for the joy of it. actually, his only job was to exhibit the newly arrived collections, clean and dust them off, and conduct regular tours and workshops for the public. due to this and the fact that not many people even came by he would take regular breaks.

once in a while you'd see the occasional old person or art expertee roaming around the small museum. if you were lucky, you'd see the local edgy teens posing next to a piece they didn't understand just to get an aesthetic picture. taehyun would also have the unfortunate job of shooing them away or scolding them for getting just a bit too close.

recently his boss, who was the museum manager and maybe the only other person besides taehyun that worked there, had informed him that due to funds and unfortunate unforeseen events, the museum would be closing down in about a month from now. this caused taehyun to fall deep into a depression since this was his only job and he loved it here. the museum was like his second home. he found comfort in the silent images displayed throughout the building. they always told him a story and when new pieces came in he would sit and stare attentively at the new anecdote being told to him.

taehyun smiled sadly at the piece he had just taken down. it was a painting of 2 people kissing however both of their faces were covered by white cloths. this was his favorite and he didn't even have a clue as to why. probably because of the uncertainty of what the other was feeling or because of the fact that the other couldn't see each other's faces through the cloth, that would've made the kiss more exciting in his opinion.

he stepped out of the museum and into the frosty air of the outside world. it was only autumn so why was it so cold? he thought to himself. he discreetly pulled out a prerolled blunt and his white lighter from his pocket. he lit it and stuck in between his slightly chapped lips.

maybe smoking dope wasn't the healthiest thing in the world, especially for a boy so young, barely 19, but it helped taehyun get his mind off the inevitably of losing his job and being homeless for the winter. he shuttered at the thought. he would have to room with one of his friends, he sighed shaking his head. no, he didn't want to be a burden, yeonjun had helped him enough as it is.

he looked at his surroundings taking in the cold autumn afternoon. the trees had long lost their leaves and were bare. the sky was a murky gray color as if it were threatening to rain any time soon. he noticed a girl bundled up in winter clothes near the entrance of the building glance at him. he smiled at her and she jumped at the eye contact, thinking that he wouldn't catch her. taehyun chuckled as he watched her rush into the museum. "back to work," he said out loud to himself.

once the blunt had been almost gone, he smoked what was left of it and headed back into the empty museum. he was feeling light-headed, the effects of the blunt finally taking action, but taehyun was used to it so it barely affected him as much.

he made his way to the girl who was now starting to take off her jacket and scarf. taehyun tapped on the girl's shoulder to get her attention. "hi," he smiled at the girl, showing off his dazzling smile. "if you'd like, i could give you a tour of the museum." well what's left of it anyways, he thought to himself.

"oh...no thank you," said the girl. she smiled warmly at the worker. "well not to be invasive of your decision but it's sort of in my job description," taehyun replied as he rubbed the back of his neck. the girl sighed in defeat, "i guess i have no choice then."

taehyun laughed as he took her coat and scarf to hang up in the public closet, "yep, trust me. they say im not that bad of a tour guide, im quite fun to be around if i do say so myself. i promise not to bore you too much." the girl nodded, not entirely convinced. "if i do end up bored i will hold you accountable..." she took a moment to take a peek at taehyun's name tag, "kang taehyun," she joked.

as they walked through the museum the girl couldn't help but notice that it was fairly empty. "why are there almost no paintings in here?" she laughed hesitantly. "i thought this was a museum?" taehyun stopped walking, turning to her with a sad expression on his face.

"the museum is expected to close in about a month or so," he stated simply. "oh...that's terrible. may i ask why?" the girl responded. "my boss says we've run out of funds or something like that," taehyun chuckled bitterly. "people don't really give a shit about good art these days anyways."

"that's a shame..."

they continued to look through the various paintings that were still up and occasionally the girl would ask to see the ones that were taken down and left on the floor. it seemed the two were lost in each other's company as night started to approach.

"thank you for the tour of this lovely museum taehyun. it was fun but it's a shame such a nice museum like this is closing down," the girl said softly. taehyun nodded solemnly, he just wanted to get this day over with and crash at his apartment. he didn't blame the girl before him but talking to her reminded him of his harsh reality. a notification coming from the girl's bag made both of them jump as they were both lost in their thoughts.

"ah, that must be my father. he's kind of annoying when it comes to my curfew," she chuckled, digging her phone from her bag. taehyun watched her with a bored expression until his eyes reached her bag. he hadn't noticed this earlier but she had been carrying a louis vuitton bag. his eyes bulged at the expensive item that was so close to him, they got even larger when she fished out the latest iphone from it.

taehyun wasn't poor per se, he had just enough to get by since he was living paycheck to paycheck. however, he had never been in such close proximity to any luxury items. he suddenly felt weird being this close to this girl.

"what do you mean by curfew?" taehyun asks hesitantly. the girl sighs, "my father is one of south korea's richest chaebol's, maybe one of the big three at his point." she rolled her eyes as if this information was nothing. "he's super strict with me because i guess i'm just his show pony daughter whom he can show off to say he's a good father."

taehyun gulped, had he just been casually hanging out with the daughter of one of the richest men in korea? he felt sick at this. she looked up at taehyun's uneasy expression, "oh my god im sorry i just dumped that all on you! i just needed to catch a break so i came here, i didn't mean to drag you into my life story."

taehyun fixes his face, laughing nervously, "no- no its fine really. we all need a break sometimes right? im glad you got to have that time here." the girl smiled up at him, completely misreading his nervous laughter, "im glad i got to spend it here with you taehyun."

"oh before i go!" taehyun watched her pull out a checkbook from her bag and his stomach dropped. he silently watched her scribble some stuff onto the slip and tear it out, handing it to him.

"there's not too much i can take out of my account without my father flipping out but i hope this helps even just a little. whether it be in your personal life or with the museum."

taehyun eyes the check and chokes when he sees 50,000 dollars written neatly on the black line. he swears he can feel sweat going down his face like in the cartoons. "i- i cant possibly take this from you." he moves to hand the check back but the girl refuses to take it back. "taehyun, you love this museum with your entire being. i see the way to look at the paintings and the passion with which you explained them to me. i'd hate to see that taken away."

"plus, if you're gone who's gonna give me the tour when i come back?" she laughs as if this is something casual. taehyun's hands shake as he pockets the check, "i seriously cannot thank you enough...you don't know how much you just helped the museum and m-"

the girls phone dings again and she grumbles, "ugh why can't he just leave me alone. sorry but i think i really gotta go for real before he tracks my location or something crazy like that."

taehyun nods wistfully at the mention of her having to leave. he was really starting to enjoy her company.

"oh by the way," the girl giggles as she pulls her coat on hurriedly.  "was that you smoking weed at the corner of the museum earlier?" the girl chuckled to herself again just remembering it. taehyun furrowed his eyebrows, "why would you say that kind of thing at out loud and at my job?!" he scolded in a playful hushed voice.

"i just thought it was funny and you also smelled of weed the entire tour, i didn't mind though so don't worry," the girl concluded. she was starting to walk away towards out the door now. "i'll walk you out," taehyun offers. "such a helpful employee. is this in the job description too?" the girl jokes, turning to him while a smile on her lips. "well, not exactly," taehyun says smoothly.

she shakes her head, "i'll see you soon taehyun." he watches her walk off into the darkness of the night when he suddenly remembers something.

"hey what's your name by the way?" he shouts after the girl. for some reason taehyun really was hopeful of seeing her again.

"y/n!" came the disembodied voice of the girl he had just met.

[utterlyhopeful-fics]

Desire

A/N: SMUT ON THE BRAIN, I REPEAT SMUT ON THE BRAIN. 

Angel Reyes x Reader

MASTERLIST

Word Count: 1705k

Language: Smut, mention of blow-job, language, SMUT

*****************************************************************

Y/N leaned dangerously lower finding herself eye level with none other than Angel and the guys. She smirked; “You have five minutes to meet me in the storage closet Angel Reyes or I’m starting without you.” Y/N whispered licking the shell of his ear seductively. “And I don’t like waiting…” 

Her converse shoes squeaked ever so slightly against the wood floors beneath them as he ogled her ass swaying farther from his reach. Her form fitting shirt was leaving little to his active imagination. Her denim cutoffs taunted him with the simple sway of her luscious hips. She was a fucking deity and Y/N knew he was eating out of the palm of her enticing hand.

Under his breath, Angel finally exhaled the compressed air lodged in his chest; “Fuck.” Popping the ‘k’ overtly. It wasn’t until Coco coughed attempting to clear away any residual sexual tension that Angel peeled his stare from Y/N looking around the table innocently.

“Yo, I say this with mad love but if you don’t leave this table to fuck her, I will homie.” Gilly and Riz laughed wholeheartedly alongside Coco. The fire in Angel’s orbs blared to life, anger gripping ahold of him. His fist clenched ripping one of his cards clean down the middle trying to refocus his pent-up frustration.

“I’d watch that mouth of yours, man. Anyone who dares to touch Y/N nonetheless solicit my girl will definitely be meeting me in the fucking ring. Got it, hermano?”

Coco cheeks blushingly glowed chuckling at his best friend. They were in the middle of a poker game and Y/N knew to not bother him during these times. But, looks like Y/N didn’t want to play fair tonight and he’d have to remind of the rules. Angel licked his wet lips as saliva pooled within him.  

“I only do it because you’re so easy to get a reaction out of…probably why Y/N loves seeing that pissed look on your face. Bitch knows how to play the damn game; I’ll give her that.”

He threw his cards down to the table signaling his defeat; “Boys, I gotta girl that needs tendin to. Don’t come searching for us.” Angel raised his left eyebrow wiggling it to the best of his ability. His boots scuttled as the chair legs screeched backwards. Angel leisurely rose from his seat chugging the rest of his whiskey. The liquor was bitter, malty, and burned in all the right places. With his nerves afire and his belly ablaze, Angel sought out the one thing that could calm and simultaneously bait him.

The rumblings of his brothers didn’t jog past him as he walked towards the empty storage room. The soft voice of Gilly made its way to him; “Fucking Reyes and Y/N. How the hell did he score her again?” Coco chimed in; “Cabrón con suerte.”

Ez watched from the bar top inspecting his brother’s hungry glare scouring the room for Y/N. To say he was jealous wouldn’t be his choice of words but there was something about his best friend and brother boning that provided a weird energy of comfort.  

“Avert your gaze, Prospect. That’s an order.” Angel raised his hand saluting him breaking into a fit of laughter. Ez merely nodded focusing his attention back to demeaning cleaning chores and collecting miscellaneous bottles. The older Reyes walked through the door in search of the hidden room approaching on his left. He so enjoyed these games especially when it included Y/N.

“Oh sweetheart, where ya hiding? Papi is getting impatient.” His questioning tone vibrated off the bare walls as Angel observed the nooks and crannies surrounding him.

“Querida, you’re being a damn tease…”

Out of the blue, Angel heard the teasing tone of his girlfriend; “Marco….”

“So, you want to play games, Y/N? Bring it on darling. Polo.”

His ears perked up as his arm hairs stood straight looking for identifiable clues. Angel whipped around hearing a broom clash against the cold concrete. Y/N shuffled covering her mouth in hopes of keeping her laughs muffled. Her heart was practically beating outside of her rib cage as his signature cologne invaded her nostrils. Ever so quietly, Angel instinctively sauntered obscenely silent towards a corner of the abandoned room.

Angel was swift on his feet jumping around the corner scaring the living shit out of Y/N; “Gotcha!”

Y/N jumped as Angel watched her eyes bulge in momentary fear; “Shit, Angel! Well, looks like you found me. Now time to claim your prize?”

“Don’t have to tell me twice, baby.” Angel’s grip on her smooth hips tightened gluing her between the wall and his frame. Y/N huffed pressing her breasts firmly against him in retaliation.

“Well now that I’ve got you exactly where I want you…what are you gonna do with me?” Angel nipped at her exposed cleavage moaning loudly.

“Jesus Angel. You’re driving me crazy.” With little vigor, Y/N’s hands shoved him giving her a sliver of distance. Grabbing by the collar of his pristine shirt, she pressed him into her former place. Immediately, Y/N reached for the bulky belt buckle currently blockading her path, pulling hard admiring it slipped through the loops. She kept one hand securely on his chest as the other dropped the offensive item to the ground.

“You’ve been very naughty Angel. I’m here to deliver your penance.” Her flirtatious manner was beginning to get the best of her, her patience was truly being tested. She sunk down to her knees staring up at his bashful brown eyes and quivering Adam’s apple. Contemplating every sinful thought riddling his thoughts Angel tried to find the words garbled in his throat. 

Her hands moved faster than his brain undoing the button of his jeans before Angel was graced with the delicious sound of a zipper lowering. A minor tug of his pants revealed his striped boxers as Y/N slipped beneath the pesky layer. Her doe eyes gawked towards him in a demanding yet submissive approach.

“Looks like you’re in for a treat, Reyes…Of course if you’re not interested, I bet I could find---”

“No more fucking around baby.” Y/N bobbed in innocent agreement; “As you wish.”

She enveloped his hard cock stroking him the entire length, squeezing just enough at the tip as a groan slipped from him. “I can’t wait to taste you. I’ve missed you.”

Y/N continued her perfected movements fondling his dick faster causing his breath to hitch.

“Damnit, baby! What’re you doin—?”

Before he could finish his sentence, Angel was engulfed in her heat, the warmth of her flawless mouth. Y/N sucked harder compelling Angel’s head knocking the white wall holding him.

“You are too good at that. Too fucking good.”

Drool oozed from the corner of her salacious mouth as Y/N hummed forcing the vibrations to take Angel to the next level of pleasure. She sucked him off like her life depended on it. He was a half second away from losing it when she deep throated him to her limit. The suction noise was enough to turn him on enormously, but watching his girl go full force was about to make him lose his load. Pre-cum leaked down her chin before Y/N made quick work of licking it away, tidying up her mess.

She proceeded to remove herself, popping her lips loudly in effect; “Mm hmm, two minutes and you’re a goner.”

Angel was stunned into submission at the attractive girl on her knees and it turned him on to no surmountable end. He guided her back to where he craved her most cleverly placing his hand on the back of her head. He hated controlling her mannerisms but strictly stayed in place for future guidance. Angel added the smallest of pressure as more of his length guided down her throat. So warm and welcoming, Angel had to think of literally anything else to stop himself from cumming. The lustful look, her hands locked behind his buttocks, it was all too much for a simple Mayan to take in.

“Ahh, ahh shit. If you get doin that, I’m gonna explode.”

So, Y/N kicked into overdrive taking him as deep as her body would allow. She loved watching his eyes roll into the back of his head and the part of his lips waiting to cry out. So close, Y/N knew he was teetering on the edge of a mind-blowing orgasm so she initiated into full force.

The squelching noises coming from Y/N sent Angel overboard. Y/N sloppily slurped vying with every energetic thrust. The ache within him involuntarily released driving Angel to cum ferociously into Y/N’s sweet, hot mouth. Ribbons of cum filtrated the back of her throat welcomingly.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck’ was the only explicit word in Angel’s mind as lustful chaos stormed throughout his body. Hot cum simmered down her throat as she so freely swallowed every gulp with dignified pleasure. She moaned around his length allowing his orgasm to linger. Angel lovingly held her in place as she sucked every last drop from the tip of his cock.

“God damn. God damn woman.”

Y/N’s fingers edged along the corners making sure to clean up any remnants remaining surveying Angel candidly. Y/N removed herself from the floor tucking him gently back into the folds of his boxers as his body turned to gelatin.

“You taste sweet. A hint of strawberry and pineapple?” Her devious tone enticed him wanting to bend her over and make her scream. But they’d been preoccupied for longer than anticipated. Angel knew he couldn’t fuck her quite yet but the night was young and the devilish grin on Y/N’s face told him he was in for a night of fucking and love making.

“Babe, that was fucking mind-blowing.” Angel cupped her cheeks kissing her excitedly. His cock twitched wishing to be buried inside Y/N but he knew better.

“Damnit, one hour and we’re out of here. Got it?”

“You don’t have to tell me twice, Reyes. I’m in dire need of an orgasm or two especially with my sexy as fuck Mayan to ride reverse cowgirl.”

“You have to idea what you’re askin for….”

Winking in Angel’s direction, Y/N knew precisely what she desired; “One hour or I’m starting without you.”

~~~~~~

Tags: @twistnet​ @ifoundmyhappythought @angelreyesgirl89 @carlaangel86 @imagineredwood @gemini0410 @mayans-mc @reaperwalking @prospectfandom @emmaveale123 @peaky-marvel @kind-wolf @scorpio4dayzzz @starrynite7114 @penny4yourthot @breanime @whyisgmora @thegirlwhowritesfics @star017 @threeminutesoflife @woahitslucyylu @briannab1234 @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass @blessedboo @lady-pswrld

[20thcentury-kylo]

Tides Of Memory

(prologue)

Well here it is- sorry this has taken me so long, I'm not really the best artist n such but here is The prologue chapter to Tides Of Memory 

                                                          Enjoy~ 

Sometimes.... he still dreams of their words... 

"Just breathe- it'll all be fine🎶" 

Delicate melodies offset by somber guitar strums... The lyrics plague his memory, repeating in endless loops. Strangely enough he feels something similar in his current state. 

Alas the boy assumes that's all they are- bizarre, sorrowful dreams. 

Xx

To Kiome, Ebisu is the closest thing he has to a home. The smiles of his rosé haired boyfriend made him feel more at home, than any foster family could. Ebisu was his tether, the source of the light in his eyes- He was without a doubt the love of Kiome's life. Even more so now as gazes up at the aspiring musician, listening to the slow harmony of the boy's soft tones... 

"I knocked on your bedroom door, and waited for you to enter~" He knows to cherish these moments, etch them deep within his heart to captivate him forever... Ebisu with his eyes closed absently guiding his hand from note to note, sings the soft tune. The song which he curiously named San Diego, is one of goodbyes, and wistful memories. Yet he plays it in such a way that one cannot help but to have hope, it's a feeling Kiome understands all too well. 

"I bought you a crimson rose, smelled just like you did~" The feeling washes over him in a soft murmur, and the boy decides that he should do something about the space between them. Face to face, heart to heart- his lips utter nothing but his eyes speak a thousand ballads in a silent attempt to intertwine his soul even further with his beloved. A slightly shaken hand reaches to cradle the musician's cheek, the subsequent blush from Ebisu spurring him on further. Their lips meet in a soft meld, fluttering beats pulling one another closer. And amidst the safe stillness of that lamp lit bedroom- he feels... they both feel- complete. 

--- 

"Daring- I love you🎶~" 

Learning of his power, and his true destiny.. Kiome almost lost it all. The fear of losing what little he had in froze him- What if he couldn't win, what if he couldn't protect them all. Such worries cloud his mind, there is no confidence in the subtle whispers of his newly acquired sword. But of course not, they do not hold the voice of his beloved. So as the swordsman sits paled in moonlight, he thinks of nothing but their voice. 

"If only we could fly across the nether~" A subtle smile of relief finds its way onto Kiome's expression. He scoots over, making room for Ebisu to sit with him. 

"Hey... how are ya holdin up?" The question forces a sigh from his lips... they're trembling. 

"I won't lie- I'm... scared out of my mind right now.." Ebisu reaches for his hand, and Kiome can feel the tremors in his soul calm at the contact. Gradually all the doubts he'd been suppressing float to the surface and out through his stuttered words. 

"I-I just- don't wanna forget you, wherever I end up." They're on borrowed time, and he can hear each Jarring tick pass them by. Stray tears escape the poor boy's eyes, he's trying to stay strong, if not for himself then for Ebisu. His own depressing thoughts are cut short by the warm embrace of his partner. 

"I Promise- You won't!!" It's a declaration that could pierce the heavens, Kiome notices that he's started to tear up as well yet says nothing.

Ebisu pulls back- flush faced yet Smiling nonetheless. His breaths are shaking, and his words flitter out sporadically, but Kiome knows- he knows and he couldn't be more thankful. 

"No matter what happens to us- to our memories..." He's suddenly quiet, his features holding a wistful hope. Kiome can't help but awe at how beautiful he is. 

"No matter what- every song I've written, every note, every memory... they'll be right here- etched in my heart.." Ebisu gazes at him with a look that peers straight into his core, he means this... And the embrace that follows is almost too poetic for words. 

"Ditto~" Kiome swears on this life, and every past life he's apparently had- he'd never forget this for as long as his existence still burned. 

--- 

The 1st thing that comes to him is the overwhelming burning stench as he looks upon the scene before him. They'd come for him. This was it- nowhere for Kiome to run. He steels himself with thoughts of his beloved, gripping his sword tighter. 

"Darling~ I love you🎶~" 

Ebisu was safe.. he'd made sure of that before ever considering this fated clash. If he survived this... he just might have to marry the ocean eyed musician. It gives him the will to move forward- When he survived this, he was definitely marrying him. The voices whispering from within his sword hum in agreement, giving him the confidence he needs to charge into danger. He couldn't die here- not when he had someone to live for. 

-- 

The beast's endless roars are all but deaf to him. Kiome stands, eyes burning bright. This is it- do or die... His sword rests firmly in his grasp- his strength does not waver, even for a moment. Each step is another reminder of what he's fighting for- each strike he bears the shock in stride, like hell was he gonna fall here... 

His body may betray his intentions- writhing with bloodied bruises and aching muscles.. But his heart can't give up now- his very soul screams out in defiance. The exception before him seems to hear this cry- as it stumbles back before giving a scream of its own. 

And as he braces himself to fight on.. the words echo ever so clearly in his head 

'Darling- I love you~" 

-- 

"Kiome!! Please... stay with me-" He can't feel his body anymore... 

Ebisu sits there- cradling the dying body of his beloved- blood covered, and practically torn to pieces... his eyes won't open. 

"Kiome!!" Ebisu's presence is the only thing keeping him from letting go completely... He wants to see his face.. To tell him not to weep for the foolish.. 

"I'm here.." Opening his eyes sends surges of blinding pain through his retinas.. but the moment that pink hair and rosy cheeks come into view- such pain is all but forgotten. He can't hear the exception anymore- guess he must've won. Then again... at what cost. 

"Why so sad.." Ebisu won't stop crying- and the sight of it brings tears to his own eyes. Suddenly the reality that he probably won't survive this  hits him all at once, and it's only through sheer exhaustion that he doesn't break down weeping then and there. Instead he sighs with a shaky breath, and gazes into his beloved's eyes for what he thinks to be the last time... 

"My time here is running short🎶" Ebisu's expression shifts, before he graces the dying boy with a tearful smile... 

"Your kisses were my ambrosia🎶"Ebisu leans down and lays a soft kiss onto Kiome's forehead- Kiome can feel a tear drop ever so slowly... 

"They melted into my skin🎶" A soft light begins to emerge from Kiome's core. This... was the end. He doesn't take his eyes off Ebisu for a moment- he'd burn the image of his beautiful face into his heart.. so he'd never forget.. 

"Darling... I love you" 

Xx 

The subtle morning light peaks through the dorm windows- rousing it's residents from slumber. He opens his eyes to find that they're wet with tears... 

'Again huh-'Kiome has had the same dream for the 3rd time this week. Of places he's never been, of people he's never met... of love he's never felt. But they're just dreams- he muses to himself. They meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. Yet as he prepares for the day- eating his breakfast that Shiro so graciously prepared and brushing his teeth before heading to class- a strangely familiar tune remains stuck in his head... 

"I knocked on your bedroom door🎶~"He wonders where he could've heard it...

-PROLOGUE END-

Once again im really sorry for this taking so long- anywho i hope you enjoyed, i plan to update this semi frequently with a few drawings to complement each chapter (ReBlogs and Comments Are very much appreciated I wanna hear what you guys think uwu)

~Till Next Chapter~

[revasserium]

hi rain!! hope you're doing well 💗💗

thank u darling! 

you write beautifully, o my goodness

aww thank youuuu <3 

Hi! Just wanted to ask if it was okay to send in a request?

hi love! requests are currently closed! but once they open up again, do feel free! 

Whenever I have a bad day or just want to spend some time in a specific kind of world, I find myself coming back to here. I always end up feeling better. Thank you 😊

you are so, so sweet and lovely <3 thank you so much! and i’m glad you enjoy my writing ! 

thank you so much for your sunset masterpiece with Kageyama !!!!

ahhh that one was fun to write ! im glad u liked it !!! 

so this is how summer ends breaks my heart😭😭💔💔 I enjoyed reading it nonetheless 🥺 - 🎏

hehehehhe idk i always rly like the angst ones?? they just hit dif ukno? but im glad that it made u feel some kinda way :D 

just want to tell you i adore your writing so much; probably my favorite in the hq fandom. i’m just a casual reader and lurker of fics, and i usually just leave a like since i’m quite shy. (idk where this came from since i write too and there’s nothing more i can enjoy than hearing from my readers) but i would like to tell you you’re amazing at what you do, and i can’t wait to see more of your works. sending you love! stay safe always.

thank you T^T it rly means a lot -- i know i’ve been gone, but coming back to these messages have been the light of my life <3 

just want to say i love every writing you have every posted and i hold a lot of them dear to my heart but your sugawara smut are the best ones in this entire site OH GODS i wish i could ask for more but i know you're already working hard to write all of these beautiful, breathtaking pieces so thank you for your hard work and please don't forget to take care of yourself! ♡

you all are TOO kind to me T^T take care of yourselves as well -- all my love darlings 

dropping by your inbox to give you a big hug and best wishes because you are awesome!

muah!!!! x 

hi rain, love you and hope you’ve been okay. miss you but take your time, will still be here when you feel ready to come back ��️

all my kisses! im back now and better than ever hehee 

hi i love u and u inspire me sm, can i be 🎨 anon 👉👈

oh my lov ur too cute! <3 

hi rain, thinking of you today ❤️ miss you heaps but I hope you’re taking some well deserved time off for yourself :) remember that you are loved and you have deeply affected so many lives by your writing 🥺 xx

muah x 

hi rain, hope you’re doing well wherever you are in the world ❤️❤️ miss you loads, I read at least one story of yours every night haha helps me to relax :)

oh im so glad!!! :D 

you may not care, but i often check your blog if you have a new post or just answering any asks. your writing and also the way you answer questions is so eloquent . just wow.

i do care! i care a great deal <3 and ur message means the world and then some to me uwu thank u so much for taking the time my love 

Hey Rain! Make sure to take care, don't forget to drink water and eat something! I'm here to vent if you need it. -Emmy

<3 muah 

Your fics make me feel all warm and fuzzy. Every time I read them I feel like I'm cuddling a huge fluffy teddy bear or something. Your writing is so genuine and so deep, it's really inspirational!

thank youuuu im glad that u liked them T^T i promise i will strive to write more, even better fics in the future <3 

ya know I think about that ushijima fic you did about ice cream at the most inconvenient times of the day I tell you. god i just black out

yo HIGHKEY. ushijima. can like..... get it. 

hi! i just read 'even so' and i'm so in love with your writing so it's time to read all your works uwu if you can, try using google docs to write! it saves your history so you can go back if you lose something or want to go back to something you wrote. take care bub

im def gonna experiment with a ton of dif things to make sure that none of my writing gets lost in the future! :D 

i have no way to conjure my thoughts about universal truths. like it was truly a masterpiece. im sorry for my lack of feedback but my emotions can't be put into words on how im feeling.(although i think that's probably one of the best responses you can get from an audience) just know that you're doing fucking amazing and always inspiring me to write

ahhh thank you!!! 

I just want you to know I was reading everything u have ever put out for naruto & I am head over heels in love thanks bye ily

im legit head over heals in lov for naruto tho okay like hes MY FAV 

[prismed-tears]

imagine the dr surviving cast watching a mystery movie. they would be the WORST

trigger happy havoc

there's kirigiri who figures it out from the set-up (please. its chock full of cliches.) you don't know when byakuya figures it out, but he's just smirking at random close-ups and snorting snidely. (while he has a good idea, he's definitely just waving his dick around to keep up appearances too). makoto is the absolute worst. he's muttering the entire thing through, practically spoiling the entire movie as they go along.

there's asahina she makes for good audience, she's just vibing and gasping dramatically, giving the right reactions at the right moments. she's also practically strangling makoto lmao. there's hagakure, who makes bizarre and random guesses (conspiracy theorist) that happen to be right like.. twice (actual functioning clairvoyant, surprisingly). he also tries to fall asleep, but makoto is so damn loud. makoto and hagakure are a two-man class trial, them disproving and arguing both of their theories. touko's just there because it's teeeeechnically a date with her beloved white knight, but you bet your ass that she can enjoy good storytelling and plot devices. she's basically cinema sins as she mutters "huh. narration. cheap tactic." kirigiri is silently nodding along, and eventually, they're both discussing the cliches and the utter bullshit in it, lmao. touko doesn't quite figure out the mystery, but she's pointing out plot holes as they go.

makoto eavesdrops and uses it as truth bullets in the makeshift class trial. eventually byakuya joins in, by the halfway point, they're all drowning out the movie completely. asahina's just bummed out and wondering how did they think this was a good idea. kirigiri hasn't officially joined, but she's basically dropping hints to makoto as they go along. touko does the same thing to byakuya. hagakure cries out that it's unfair, he doesn't have a sidekick. kirigiri tries to pry out touko's knowledge of cliches, touko cries out that kirigiri's a traitor for betraying her trust by using their earlier discussion, etc etc.

by the end, asahina's just happy that the characters got what they deserve. kirigiri's right, of course, but hagakure predicts an unforeseen plot twist that's just bad writing in the movie, touko is practically ranting how the fuck did that happen, there were so many plot holes for the twist to happen, but he's right nonetheless. makoto gets it wrong, actual investigation skills doesnt work in a movie, he keeps attempting the movie to apply real life logic. and as for byakuya? he's just smirking and laughing all the way through. is he correct? is he just waving his dick around? that's the real mystery.

goodbye despair

(technically they're all surviving, but i'm just counting the awakened ones at the end of the game, because... that's a lot of people lmao.)

(+ nagito and chiaki because we need actual detectives in here, and they're barely detectives as it is.)

let's start this off with— chiaki is asleep. she's down for the count. hajime keeps trying to wake her up but she's out. that leaves nagito and hajime. hajime is just eyeing/glaring at nagito, nagito knows, he's just 💞😄🖐🍿 as for the actual mystery, hajime actually knows how to keep his mouth shut... for the most part. he's muttering out half-formed syllables at random times, or shaking his head. sometimes, nagito asks him to elaborate, and hajime reluctantly does. when nagito isn't doing that, he's watching the movie, going "huh? but..." which makes hajime go crazy. elaborate. what do you mean. but WHAT. sometimes nagito laughs at random times and hajime's practically boring his eyes into nagito's skull, wondering what the fuck he's thinking. chiaki wakes up at random times, points out random things, hajime's shaking her, what does she mean he didn't quite catch it, but she's already gone. hajime obsesses over the slurred syllable that he heard.

and then there's kazuichi, who... isn't quite following? that's the detective dude, right? what do you mean that it's a common trope in movies? that doesn't make sense, he's working for the police, why is he trying to get arrested— and there's akane, who's just cackling at the dead bodies and hollering at the crime scenes as she wolfs down her popcorn. why aren't you freaked out, fuyuhiko asks. you aren't acting like this in the game, fuyuhiko says. of course akane knows how to differentiate fiction from reality. fuyuhiko understands the sentiment, both of them go apeshit at the crime scenes, fuyuhiko wants the detective to lose because he doesn't like the police much, mafia and all. meanwhile, there's sonia, who already watched 70 other movies with practically the exact same plotline, but she's basically freaking out at every turn. she's ooohing and aaaahing at every plot twist and kazuichi is like. oh PLEASE, he already saw that coming. he stretches his arms very unsubtly, sonia primly stands up and moves ten seats away. you're right, miss sonia, this is a better spot. kazuichi says, appearing out of nowhere. sonia moves away. this is a vicious cycle.

she finds her way eventually to hajime, who's five seconds away from an aneurysm. he's trying to pick the brains of two people while trying to figure out the plot of the movie. nagito looks very strangely pleased. sonia is unfazed, randomly saying that "oh, you know x is actually stole x, right? but that's only one facet of the grand plan, which is currently in motion." hajime's about to cry. thank fuck. an actual conversational partner. they calmly swap theories, kazuichi desperately trying to join in the conversation but he really isn't keeping up. fuyuhiko barges in, basically going what the fuck are you all on, are you saying that this movie is gonna have a happy ending? hell no, it doesn't work like that, fuyuhiko should know. this is what would actually happen—

it's an actual class trial now, akane dropping in and all. she asks for clarifications every once in a while, but she doesn't really care. kazuichi is practically kissing her feet. nagito has gone 💞😄🖐🍿🧏🏼‍♂️👀💞 at this point. fuyuhiko is very much concerned. hajime doesn't see jack shit. what does hajime see, you ask? hajime sees that nagito isn't opening his mouth to share his thoughts. hajime asks him properly. nagito answers with his own question. hajime is about to pop a vein. why does he even bother. sonia calmly says that y is dying. chiaki wakes up. red bracelet. passes out again. hajime shakes her shoulders to no avail. hajime hinata is about to cry. kazuichi, out of all people, tries to calm him down. this makes him feel worse.

sonia is practically a clairvoyant as she predicts what's going to happen 5 seconds before it does. nagito goes 💞😄🖐🍿🧏🏼‍♂️👀💞 😄🖐🍿🧏🏼‍♂️👀💞 does nobody else see this, fuyuhiko says. i do, kazuichi says. they are both unable to do anything. for the very first time in a long while, hajime is blindsided in this mystery, and sonia was about to figure it out before he did. his mind is working on 5x speed now. he knows he shouldnt be competitive. its just a movie. he cant help himself. he find a red bracelet on the assistant detective. sonia doesn't say anything about it. hajime is now unlocking 50% of his brain (not literally. no kamukura in this post lmao, im not gonna put my hands in THAT).

final fight scene as the assistant tries to escape. fuyuhiko is on the top of his lungs, pointing out the many different ways he could knock out the detective. akane's joining with him. kazuichi's just joining in the fun at this point. the mystery gets solved. hajime fucking called it. sonia is genuinely caught off-guard, she was too used to movie tropes, but it's a pleasant surprise. fuyuhiko's just pissed that the detective won. "i didn't see that coming :)!" nagito says. what the fuck are you talking about, hajime says, and all traces of victory are gone. nagito says that he isn't a fan of the mystery genre. hajime's eye is twitching. he knows, deep down, nagito is truthful, but also, why does it feel like bullshit. i called it too miss sonia, kazuichi says. everyone knows that he's lying. sonia suddenly lost the ability to hear. chiaki wakes up. summarizes the case. how the fuck do you know that, you were out cold, hajime says. i was spoiled by a redditor, chiaki says as she blinks the sleep out of her eyes. hajime doesn't feel victorious at all. kazuichi, once again, sympathizes. right before hajime can storm off altogether, fuyuhiko joins in the pity pile, and hajime actually finds the hope to live again. what a hopeful sight, nagito says. no hope here, hajime realizes, just despair. akane is sitting beside 5 empty tubs of popcorn. hajime is half-tempted to shove his head in one.

(sidenote: nagito can probably solve the mystery if he tried but he really doesnt care that much + it was fun to rile hajime up lmao)

[littlebitoffanfic]

Silent Confessions part 2

Fandom: Texas Chainsaw Massacre Characters: Bubba, Drayton Relationship: Bubba/reader Request: Would you write a part two for the silent confession where the reader gets found by drayton AN: http://littlebitoffanfic.tumblr.com/post/175620949144/silent-confession You woke with a loud clatter as a voice screamed in anger only a few feet in front of you. “Hes kept un! God-damn it, I’ll kill ‘im.” You sat bolt up right in your bed, your eyes immediately finding the source of the noise and your blood ran cold. Drayton. He was pacing the floor in front of you, his hands on his hips as he almost let off steam from his anger. You had seen him briefly through some holes in the walls when he had come into the basement to speak to Bubba so you knew what he looked like. When he saw you sit up, he froze. “God-damn it.” He cursed again. You had been caught. Nearly a year you had stayed hidden down here, but he had finally caught Bubba and you. But Bubba wasn’t here right now. He and Chop Top had had stuff to do, so he had left first thing. You had been tired so stayed in your bed until you were rudely awakened. “and he didn’t even tie her down!” he snarled as he saw your free wrists and ankles. “He doesn’t have to. I wont run.” You said in a soft voice, taking Dayton by surprise. He twisted to look at you. You knew you had to be incredibly carful right now. If you were able to say the right things and do the right things, you might be able to keep yourself alive as well as save Bubba from punishment. “Oh yeah? You wont run?” Drayton scolded at you, mimicking your voice a little. “No, I don’t want to.” You keep yourself calm, knowing that any hint of weakness might be a loophole for Drayton to exploited. “eh?” He stopped pacing to look back at you. “Ive been here for a while. If I wanted to run, I would have. But I don’t.” You explain a little more. “How did yah get here, then?” He was carful and kept a little distance between the two of you. You knew he didn’t do any of the killing, so probably wouldn’t do anything to you until the twins got back. So you had a little time to persuade him. you told him of how you had been kidnapped and held hostage. About how you didn’t have a family so the ransom they asked for was never paid. About how they beat you and then brought you out here to be killed. But Bubba had saved you. You were very carful to say that Bubba had been carful at first and had kept you in ropes, but you never ran so they became forgotten. During your tale, Drayton retreated away from your bed to sit on the chair in the corner, watching you carefully for any signs of deception. “So how long have you been down here?” He finally asks when he sensed your story was coming to a close. “About a year.” You knew it was dangerous and leaving it to chance about how he would react, but you couldn’t lie. “Are you insane or something?” Drayton shoots at you, but you could only laugh. “Maybe.” You shrug, a soft giggle falling from your lips. “You got any idea what we-“ he started to ask but you knew where he was going with the question. “That you kill people? Yeah, I know. Ive helped.” You smile proudly, catching Drayton off guard as he frowns and asks how. “Bubba showed me. Ive been skinning some of the people when they come down here.” “you… I wondered why it was lookin’ a lot cleaner.” Drayton sat back in his chair, his eyes trained on you. “Why’d yah stay?” “Because…” you trail off, dropping your eyes a little, asking yourself that question. But the answer was so obvious to you. “Because I wanted to.” there was a pause between you two as Drayton thought through everything he had just heard. “Well, Bubba wont be back for another hour. You best come up with me. Help with some stuff.” He stood up, his sudden offer making you smile and bounce out of your bed. You moved quickly to his side before following him up the stairs. He kept a very close eyes on you as he told you to start by cleaning up the blood left over from the night before. You got right to it, scrubbing at the blood on the main dinning table. You were able to lift it rather easily because it hadn’t completely dried into the woodwork. Next, he took you into the kitchen. “Are you going to make chilli?” You asked, right by his side. You knew the close proximity had him on edge but you needed him to trust you and maybe you could force that trust a little. Plus, it was nice being able to speak to someone and get a verbal response. You were glad it was Drayton who found you first, because it meant you had a good shot at getting on his good side, whereas Chop top and nubbins were completely crazy. “yeah, making a new batch.” He nods. “you sell it, don’t you?” You ask, excited that you might learn the receipt. Drayton nods as he turns on the hob and grabs a pan from the side. “You should enter those competitions, you know. The ones where you get judged. I saw a guy go on there once and his profit went through the roof when he won.” You told Drayton. for the next hour, you helped the eldest brother with the cooking. He was carful to keep knifes away from you but did tell you to do some peeling. “Do you mind if I make myself a cup of tea?” You ask, looking at the kettle. Drayton glances at you. He was about to nod when he realised that giving you boiling water might not be such a good idea, so he tells you to sit at the table and he’d make it. You were surprised by how well Drayton seemed to be taking this all. Maybe he was just hiding it but at least you might get to stay. Once he had made you a cup, he made himself one. Drayton sat at the opposite end of the table from you as you drank. He had left the chilli to stew for a while so you were sitting at the main dining room table. He asked you a few questions about your previous life and if there was anyone who might come looking for you, to which you laughed but answer no, nonetheless. Bubbas the first to return. You knew from the heavy footsteps when you recognised as his own. Sitting up straight in your chair, you looked at the door excitingly. you hadn’t seen him all day because he had had to leave before you were up properly. “Bubba!” Drayton called his name, making Bubbas footsteps stop. You thought you might be able to place them as heading for the basement first, to where he thought you were. But he then followed his brother voice. Drayton stood up and walked over to the stew, stirring it. When he entered the room, his eyes found you and he froze. You swear you could see fear in his eyes as he quickly made his way towards you. Bubba seemed not to have noticed that Drayton was in the room as he grabbed your hand, trying to drag you back to the basement. But you dug your heels into the ground and grabbed onto the table, stopping him to leading you anywhere. He gave a disgruntled growl as he tried again. “Aint no point in doing that, I already met the girl.” Drayton called over his shoulder before turning to look at his younger brother. Bubba had froze the second he had heard his brother speak. You looked over at Drayton who started to walk towards you both. Bubba hauled you from your chair and basically threw you behind him as he turned to Drayton, as if Drayton might forget you if he couldn’t see you. You couldn’t help but smile a little at this, but only for a moment. You leaned against his back, desperate for the contact you had lacked all day and also wanting to help his worry. “Damn it, I aint gonna do anything with her! Yer just lucky Ive been needing someone to help me.” Drayton chastised Bubba, batting the air in front of him before turning back to the chili which was bubbling a little. “But shes your responsibility. If she runs or trys to cause trouble, I aint-“ Drayton couldn’t finish his statement as Bubba frantically shook his head, silently promising Drayton that you wouldn’t run or cause trouble. “right then.” Drayton nods more to himself than you both. You stepped out from behind Bubba, running your hand up and down his arm to sooth him a little more as he kept a tight hold of your wrist. “Take her downstairs before the others get back. I’ll deal with them for now.” Bubba wasted no time in dragging you out of the kitchen and towards the basement. You couldn’t help but giggle a little until you realised he was genuinely scared he might lose you. Once in the safety of the basement, he turned to you, letting go of your wrist. You wasted no time in throwing your arms around him and pressing a kiss to his lips through his mask. his arms locked around you tightly and he held you against his chest. You could hear how his heart hammered in his chest. You felt slightly guilty for making him worry so, but it couldn’t be helped. Pulling back from the kiss, you decided to explain everything. “Im sorry. He came down here earlier and found me.” You told him, nodding to the area that lead to your bed. Bubba grunted, partly out of annoyance. He wanted to keep you safe and all to himself. Now he would have to share you with his brothers. He loved them and they were family, but he couldn’t help but feel a hint of fear. They weren’t the most careful people and always broke things. Even when he was little, they would break his toys or mess up his things. Bubba didn’t want that to happen to you. He just wanted to keep you down here and safe. you could see he was deep in thought as he gazed down at you. You reached up and slowly undid his mask, pulling it away from his face while he was thinking. “Bubba?” You called his name softly, drawing him out of his thoughts. His eyes focused on your own and softened. “At least there’s no more hiding or being scared about them finding out.” This was true, and even Bubba was relieved. He always had a heart attack when his brothers went into the basement. Only the day before, you had been straddling him in a hot and heavy make out session when Chop Top came bounding down the stairs, calling out for Bubba. He hated having to leave you after getting each other riled up. You heard the front door open and Chop Top and Nubbins came stumbling in, screaming at each other. Drayton’s heavy footsteps came running as he ordered them both into the kitchen. You knew what he would be talking about. Or who. Bubba had tensed up at the noises, listening closely even though it was impossible to hear what was being said. You took him by the hand and lead him into the back towards your little bedroom. He followed you in a dreamlike state. When inside, you pull him down to sit on your bed with you. his arms wrapped around you and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. You looked up before retrieving a kiss from his lips. As normal, he sighed and let out a soft groan at the feeling before you moved to straddle his hips. You couldn’t stop whatever Drayton was saying to the others, but you could distract each other, if only for a little while.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

One Short Day

A JSE Fanfic

Yay, I wrote something that isn’t connected to pain for once in my life! Or at least, the most you get are hints and maybe a moment. I was planning on working on something else, but...I don’t know, I just felt like I needed something softer, and I’m sure there are people who need that too. So behold, an attempt at mostly-fluff! I just wanted to write the boys having fun out on the town, simple enough ^-^

It was rare that there was a full day they could all be together. A day where Schneep wasn’t working, Chase wasn’t recording, Marvin didn’t have a show, and Jackie didn’t have to bolt off at the last minute to do heroic vigilantism. A day where they could just do whatever they wanted, all of them, together.

They met up at Jackie’s apartment building. Naturally, JJ arrived first, then Schneep and Chase at about the same time. Just when they were starting to get worried, Marvin showed up, sprinting up to the group and skidding to a halt beside them.

“Late again, I see?” Jackie said when Marvin finally caught his breath. “Maybe we should just tell you we’re meeting thirty minutes earlier than we actually are.”

“Gimme a break.” Marvin rolled his eyes. “My phone was out of battery so I couldn’t check the time, then I got distracted.”

Jackie raised an eyebrow. “With what?”

“Um...” Marvin looked away, embarrassed. “I may have started playing Plague Inc...for an hour...or more.”

“Dude. Set a timer next time or something,” Chase said. “Ask JJ if you can borrow one of his watches if you have to, I dunno, anything.”

“Enough of this, we are wasting minutes,” Schneep said, checking his own watch. “Jackie decided what to do, what is it?”

Jackie immediately brightened. “Okay, so, we all know JJ hasn’t seen much of the town.” Everyone nodded. “So I thought we could give him the grand tour! Get lunch, go to the park, and I think the fair is open tonight so we can finish with that. That good with everyone?”

“So we’re just gonna walk all over town?” Chase asked. “Only two of us can drive, and none of us have a car right now.”

“Toughen up, Chase, walking’s good for you!” Marvin teased. “Right? Schneep, you’re a doctor, tell him I’m right.”

“He’s right,” Schneep said.

“See?!”

JJ snapped his fingers for attention. I thought we were wasting time? I certainly can’t lead the way, so I’ll ask one of you to.

“Right!” Jackie started off. “C’mon guys, lunch is waiting for us!”

They ended up at a local restaurant near the center of town called Kassie’s. It was a quaint little place, and since it was a warm day they decided to sit at a table outside. The chipper waitress gave them a plate of free fries, then took their order, and headed back inside.

“Is it just me, or is it kind of hot today?” Chase asked, fanning himself with some of the napkins.

“No, it’s not just you. God, I’m dying,” Jackie agreed.

“Jackie, you are not only wearing long sleeves, you are wearing two layers of them,” Schneep pointed out with a smile.

“Oh, you’re one to talk, Mr. Sweater-all-the-time!” Jackie rolled his eyes. “What about Jays? He’s got that vest/dress shirt on.”

JJ looked aghast. You four can run around and show your arms all you like, but I’ll have you know it isn’t proper for a gentleman!

“Are you implying we aren’t gentlemen?” Marvin asked, right before tossing a fry into the air and catching it in his mouth.

JJ raised an eyebrow. Indeed.

“I don’t care, it’s hot. I’m taking this off.” With a few flailing arms, Jackie pulled his hoodie over his head and tugged it off, revealing a Marvel-themed T-shirt underneath. “Ah. That’s better.” He looked around to see the others staring at him with wide eyes. “What?”

“Holy shit, Jackie!” Chase yelled. “Your arm!”

“Wh—oh fuck I forgot I was wearing short sleeves today.” Jackie looked down at his left arm. “Yeah, okay, I got scars, you can look all you want.”

“So that’s why I’ve never seen you in T-shirts,” Marvin realized. “Jackie, what the fuck happened?”

Jackie frowned, then coughed awkwardly. “Y’know...I’d rather not talk about it right now. Maybe later. Besides, Schneep already knows the story. ‘S how we met.”

“Honestly, you three are making mountains out of mole hills,” Schneep said. “Is fine now. You should see his torso, now those are scars.”

That only made the other three look more worried. Jackie sighed. “Look, guys, we’re having a fun day. We’re gonna have fun, and not gonna get all concerned, though I do appreciate it. And you—” he glared at Schneep “—need to stop saying that, ‘cause it makes it sound like I lost some epic battle instead of just having top surgery.”

Chase and Marvin relaxed in unison. “I’m still convinced you have, I dunno, fucking bullet scars or something,” Marvin muttered as Chase pulled the remains of the fries towards him.

“Oh yeah, but Schneep’s talking about the surgery. He’s done this before, and it’s no longer funny!” Jackie looked pointedly at Schneep when saying that last part, who just responded with a massive grin.

JJ was the only one who still looked concerned, but now that was paired with confusion. He looked around at the others. What is top surgery?

You could almost hear the hiss as the others all inhaled sharply in unison. They’d all forgotten for a moment that JJ didn’t know. Schneep cleared his throat. “Jackie, would you like to explain?”

“Right yeah. God, where do I start with this?” There was a slight pause in the conversation as the waitress returned with their food. The moment she was out of earshot, Jackie started up again. “Alright, so...” he leaned forward, hands clasped together, eyes wide and nervous. “You know how I call myself Jackieboy Man, right?”

JJ nodded. A moniker I never understood, but yes.

“Well, I didn’t always call myself that. Neither did anyone else. Because, well, they all thought that...I was a, uh, girl. Even I did. For the longest time I just sort of...accepted it. I only started to figure it out in high school. I got my first job, and one of the customers called me ‘that nice lady,’ and hearing it...just sort of surprised me. Like someone gave the wrong answer to a really easy test question. So...I started thinking, and eventually I realized that I wasn’t...actually a girl. That was when I renamed myself.”

JJ didn’t look any less confused. Why would they not understand that? Wouldn’t they be able to...see that you are not?

Jackie winced. “Well, no...you see, I...fuck.” Jackie put his head in his hands, took a deep breath, then looked up again. “I was born...in the wrong body. Top surgery is...it’s to get rid of the parts I didn’t want. Are you...are you getting this now?”

After a moment, JJ’s eyes widened. He nodded hesitantly.

“Okay. Good. Great.” Jackie sighed. “I don’t know if this word existed in the twenties, but nowadays we have ‘transgender’ as...a thing. When someone is something other than what their body is born as. I’m still a he. Or, just, anything but she, really. Literally call me anything but a girl. And please, don’t ask about what my name was before. Or what’s...down there. Those questions make me...really uncomfortable.”

My good man! JJ signed. Why would I do such a rude thing? And to my dear friend, nonetheless. 

Jackie’s shoulders slumped. He leaned back in his chair and exhaled in relief. He’d been dreading this conversation, but better to rip the bandaid off now. “Thanks, man. I...appreciate your understanding.”

JJ smiled. No trouble at all, Jackie! I may not fully grasp the concept, but that’s no reason to disrespect your wishes.

“If you want, I can answer questions. Just...later. And as long as you get I don’t represent everyone who’s trans.”

JJ nodded and gave a thumbs-up. There was silence for a moment, before Chase broke it by saying “Hey, guys, I made a Jenga tower out of fries.”

Schneep rolled his eyes, and immediately knocked over Chase’s tower.

“Aw you bitch!” Chase gasped. “You didn’t even play the game right!”

“Fuck your games. Actually eat the food like it’s supposed to be.”

“You’re just jealous cause you got a salad instead.”

“Maybe I am! Did you think of that?!”

“Dude, I just said I did!”

The rest of lunch was covered in the blanket of familiar banter. Jackie smiled to himself. God, he was so glad nothing changed.

About two hours later, the boys had made their way to the southern part of the city. That was where the park was. It had an official name, but everyone just called it “the park” because there was only one of them and it was shorter. The park itself was pretty big, with trees, paths, flowerbeds, and two playgrounds at either end.

Since it was the middle of the afternoon, there were quite a few families with young children hanging around, parents watching their kids climb all over the jungle gyms and pushing them on the swings. While Marvin and Jackie walked ahead, pulling JJ with them and talking his ears off, Chase and Schneep hung back a bit. Chase was staring at the families on the playground.

“Chase? Are you okay?” Schneep asked gently. 

“Yeah...yeah, I’m fine. It’s not a down day.” Schneep gave him a Look. “No, really! It’s just...y’know, seeing all the kids kinda bums me out. You know?”

“Of course I do, Chase,” Schneep said. He was probably the only one of the boys who did. “If you are feeling upset, you can go home.”

“No! God, no, that’s not what I meant at all. This has been good so far. I don’t want it to end.” Chase frowned. “Now I’m just...man. I’m starting to lose it.”

“Chase.” Schneep grabbed his hand. “If you are not enjoying yourself, we can always go do something more quiet. We would hate to push you to do something you are not up to.”

Chase considered it for a moment, then shook his head. “Nah, it’s not too bad. It helps that you guys are here, I think. But I’ll let you know...if it gets too much.”

Schneep gave him a long look, before finally judging that everything was alright. “Okay. You have to do that, or I am going to break into your home at night and yell at you for lying.”

“Okay, okay, I get the idea,” Chase laughed. He looked down at their clasped hands. “You’re not worried people are gonna think we’re a couple, then?”

“What? Oh. Is there no such thing as regular hand-holding in this country?! Besides, it should not fucking matter. Also you are not my type anyway.”

“Yeah, you’re not mine, either. You’re a guy.” Chase and Schneep both had a good laugh at that.

Marvin looked over his shoulder at the two of them. “Are you two gonna walk fast or what?”

“Or what,” Chase said with a smirk.

“Oh, you’re hilarious. A fucking comedic genius. Hey guys!” he said that last part to Jackie and JJ. “We’re gonna slow down so these two assholes can join us.”

“Marvin, how dare you,” Schneep said, mock-offended. “At least be more creative in your insulting us.”

“No.” The two mini-groups merged together to form the main group once again. “So what’re you two talking about?”

“Chase is worried that hand-holding makes a couple,” Schneep tattled.

“Bullshit,” Marvin stated. Jackie went “yeah!” in the background. JJ frowned at the use of language, but nodded. “What makes a couple is the kissing. And romantic interest in each other, which leads to the former.”

“You say, having not been on a date in at least five months,” Jackie muttered.

“Shut your stupid face, you...lovely person.” Marvin pulled his wand out of his pocket and twirled it, like he did when he was nervous. “We’ve all been kinda busy lately.”

“Yeah...that’s true,” Jackie sighed. “But maybe if you went out more, you could find someone you could go out with. Just once, if a commitment isn’t your thing right now.”

Marvin frowned. “Why in the wide world of wingmen would I go on a date once deliberately?”

“A night of fun?” Schneep suggested.

“With a complete stranger that I have no interest in? No. I need to have some intrigue in whoever they end up being.”

“None of you are gonna get anywhere with him,” Chase said. “He doesn’t get one-night stands.”

“Damn right I don’t! There’s no point!”

And it just seems improper, JJ signed. If you aren’t going to court someone, don’t approach them at all.

“Marvin! You have an ally!” Jackie gasped. 

“Good. Finally, someone who agrees with me.” Marvin held up his hand and, after a moment of figuring out, JJ high-fived it. “Yeah! There we go, you got it!”

Jackie checked the time on his phone. “Alright, it’s starting to get a bit late. If we want to get enough time at the fair, we’re gonna have to book it to the eastern side.”

They didn’t actually run the whole way there, despite Jackie wanting to. By the time they got to the fair the sun was starting to set. They bought tickets and headed inside, where the Ferris wheel and the roller coaster towered over the smaller rides and the carnival games. It was a weekday, but it was one of the first days the fair was open, so the fairgrounds were crowded but not packed.

Chase gasped. “Games. We can do the games first.”

You do realized they’re all rigged, right? JJ asked.

“Who cares? They’re fun! Games now.”

Soon, the others started to suspect that the reason Chase was so eager to play games was because he knew he would win every time. The dude was scarily good. A combination of sheer luck, skill, and fuck-it-let’s-take-a-chance-ness led to many more victories than the others, something Marvin and Schneep immediately called him out for.

“You are cheating, I am sure of it!” Schneep huffed, folding his arms.

“Nah, just have a knack for it. And, in this case, practice.” Chase tossed one of the wooden balls back and forth while he waited for the carnival worker to hand him his prize. “Ya gotta aim for a bit above the spot where the third jug sits on top of the other two, then throw hard. It’s a bit of an arc.”

“No, you’re a cheater,” Marvin asserted, muttering darkly.

“Aw, c’mon! Here, will this make you less salty?” Chase accepted his stuffed prize from the worker, then handed it right over to Marvin. “I got it for you! You like cats.”

Marvin glared down at the plushie. “You’re lucky it has a cute face,” he said.

“See?!” Chase smiled. He was actually having a good time. It was a good change of pace from the park.

Eventually, everyone had a prize except for JJ. They were running out of games to play, but then Jackie spotted one of those ‘find the ball under the shuffling cups.’ “Hey guys, you up for that one?”

JJ brightened. I’m actually quite skilled at those!

“Well, then, let’s go!” Jackie pulled him over, the others in tow.

The carnival worker was calling out the rules of the game. “You get one, you win one of these lovely roses, you get two in a row, you win one of these tiny fellows here, and you get three in a row, you win one of these adorable penguins! Step right up, step right up!”

“Hey!” Jackie waved to get the worker’s attention. “We want to play!”

“Well then, young sirs, the rules are simple. Keep your eye on the ball, see right here, right here, it’s under the middle cup. Now watch as I take the cup this way, then that, then this and oh look at that! It’s goin’ fast, it’s goin’ fast don’t lose it don’t lose it! Now, which one is the ball under?”

Jackie was fairly sure he knew where it was, but he turned to JJ anyway. “So, which one?” he asked.

JJ bit his lip, then reached forward to point at one of the cups...only for the worker to slap his hand away. “I’m sorry sir, please don’t touch the cups. To prevent tamperin’, see? Just tell me.”

JJ looked a bit stunned at the worker’s aggressive tone. But he signed It’s under the left one.

“Excuse me?”

“He says it’s under the left one,” Marvin jumped in.

“...ah, I see.” The worker lifted up the cup to reveal the ball. “Seems you were right. Do you want to try again?”

The boys glanced uneasily between each other. The worker’s tone had dropped from the polite-carnival talk to one that was a bit...short. She was also talking much slower than she was before, drawing out the vowel sounds. “He can hear you perfectly fine,” Chase said. “He just can’t talk.”

“Mmm...I see...” The worker pursed her lips. “Do you want to try again?”

They all nodded. The worker was silent this time as she shuffled the cups, faster than before. When she stopped, she looked at Jackie. “Which one is the ball under?”

Jackie had a vague idea where, but he wasn’t sure. “JJ, do you know?”

The left one again, JJ signed, less enthusiastically.

“The left,” Jackie translated.

The worker frowned as she revealed the ball under the left cup. “You boys aren’t cheating, are you? Those weird gestures seem like symbols.”

Marvin laughed bitterly. “Yeah, they’re symbols alright. They stand for words. Do you not know how sign language fucking works? He’s telling us the answers ‘cause he’s the best one at it. Now let’s do this one more time.”

The worker shuffled the cups impossibly fast. Once more, she asked Jackie where the ball was. This time, he had no idea, and just looked at JJ. JJ, in turn, stiffened a bit, eyes hardening. It’s under the right one, though I wouldn’t put it past her to sneak it up her sleeve.

“Right,” all the boys said in unison.

The worker reluctantly lifted up the rightmost cup to show the ball sitting underneath. “Congratulations,” she said dully. “You win one of the big prizes. What color do you want?”

Turquoise, JJ signed. “Turquoise,” Jackie translated.

They walked away from the booth in silence. After a few moments of walking, Marvin said, “I could totally put a curse on her.”

“No,” Jackie said firmly.

“Just one little spell. She can lose her voice for a week.”

JJ shook his head, then tucked his prize under his arm so he could use his hands to sign. Revenge is never the best answer. 

“It’s what she deserves!” Marvin snarled. “She was making that difficult on purpose. I saw her, she was going much slower with the customers before us. JJ, I’m so absolutely sorry on her behalf, cause god knows she’s not gonna fucking apologize.”

It’s okay, JJ insisted. Believe it or not, I’ve faced worse, especially in my day. They were much less friendly back then.

“I am sure you are not using that word in the correct meaning,” Schneep mumbled.

Marvin shoved his hand into the pocket containing his wand. “One hex. Come on. Just one. I won’t even make her ears fall off or anything.”

Everyone refused to let Marvin curse the carnival worker, and he reluctantly relented. At this point, they’d finished with the games, and all that was left were the rides. They took turns, one or two of them sitting out to watch the accumulated prizes while the others spun and flew and then stumbled off the rides. After trying most of the rides out, they took a snack break for ice cream and cotton candy.

“I think the Ferris wheel is the only one left,” Jackie said. “Unless we want to catch that sideshow thing. There’s supposed to be magicians—”

“Fake,” Marvin interrupted.

“—clowns, animals, and they advertised a knife-thrower—”

Schneep nearly choked on his ice cream. “No.”

“Okay, got it. No show then.” Jackie nodded. “But I’m not too sure about the Ferris wheel. I know at least one of us is afraid of heights.”

“Yeah, uh, me.” Chase bit his lip. “But I think I’ll be fine if I don’t look over the edge. Unless someone else doesn’t want to go on it, then I’ll stay off with them.”

“I’m good,” Jackie said. “Schneep? Marv? Either of you scared of heights?” Both of them shook their heads. “Alright. JJ?”

JJ signed, A bit, but after all these dizzy rides, I’ll take something calm like the Ferris wheel, if you please.

“Alright. Guess we’re going on the wheel, then!”

Night had truly fallen by this point. The Ferris wheel wasn’t exceptionally tall, but it still rose above everything else in the fair, providing a fantastic view of the colored lights below. Instead of having the traditional two-person seats, this wheel had booths that could fit up to eight people, so all the boys fit into one just fine. The wheel turned, and the booth turned with it. Chase squirmed, resolutely not looking over the side. Jackie and Marvin did the exact opposite, practically leaning out of the booth to look down below.

JJ tapped Schneep, signing something real quick. Schneep nodded, then yelled “Can you two stop that?! You are going to fall out of the fucking side, and you are making Jamie nervous.”

“Oh, sorry.” Jackie sat back down.

“Aww,” Marvin groaned, but pulled back into his seat. “I hope you know I do this for you, JJ.”

JJ smiled. Thank you, it’s appreciated. And I’m sure your body feels the same way, having narrowly avoided a fall to great injury.

“Nah, I would’ve been fine.”

The wheel stopped. Their booth was right at the top. “Oh, fuck,” Chase muttered, covering his eyes with his hands.

“You know, you didn’t have to come,” Jackie said quietly. “We would’ve been alright letting you stay down on the ground.”

Chase peeked between his hands. “I know. But...it’s really nice up here. Quiet. And with just you guys. As long as I ignore the distance from the ground, I’m good. You’re my friends, you know, and you make everything better.”

“Oh, Chase,” Marvin gasped. “That’s...really sweet!”

“What? Didn’t think we where friends?”

“It’s...always nice to be reminded.” Marvin smiled softly.

Well then consider this your reminder, Marvin! JJ wiggled his mustache happily. I consider you all my friends, maybe even family. You are all wonderful people and I love having you in my life!

“Nooo, stop.” It was hard to see in the dark, only lit up by the lightbulbs on the Ferris wheel, but it was possible that Marvin was actually blushing.

“You know what? I love you guys.” Jackie grinned. “Not afraid to admit it! Best friends I’ve ever had.”

Schneep cleared his throat. “Yes, I feel the same. You are all great people, and I am fortunate to have met you. I...love you as well.”

“Aaaahck!” Marvin appeared to be trying to fold into himself. “Too much love! Fatality!”

Chase chuckled. “Marvin! Accept our love!”

We love you, Marvin! JJ signed eagerly. Now you have to say it back!

Marvin made a strange sort of groaning exhale before inhaling deeply, calming down. “Yeah...I—I love you guys too. God, I love you guys so much. You should all know that.”

“There we go!” Jackie said, triumphant. “Marvin, you are, truly, the emotionally constipated one. And I thought Schneep was the worst.”

“Excuse me?!” Schneep gasped. “I assure you I am very love-sharing. I just do not use words too much because they are complicated.”

“Understandable,” Chase shrugged. “I can barely speak half the time, and I was born in English.”

I thought you were born in Ireland, JJ signed, amused.

“Oh, you know what I mean!”

The Ferris wheel started lowering, stopping and starting as it let passengers off. The boys stepped out of the booth and onto land once again.

JJ yawned. I must say that I’m rather tired after all this. I think it’s time we go home.

“Yeah, I’m starting to feel it,” Jackie agreed.

“You all are weak!” Marvin countered. “I’m good for another couple hours.”

“Watch you crash immediately upon entering your room,” Chase laughed.

“Oh, shut up.”

“I think JJ is right,” Jackie said. “It’s time to go home.”

Schneep nodded. “Yes, I could stay up longer, but I have morning shift tomorrow so I should not push my luck. I will see you all later?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Course, dude!”

“Definitely.”

Count on it!

With that, they left the fair. Eventually they split up, each heading their own separate ways until they eventually got to wherever they were staying that night. Some went to sleep immediately, some stayed up a bit later, but eventually they all went to bed.

And when they decided to do it, none of them had trouble for once.

[stateofloveandnegan]

Backstage II - Eddie Vedder

Can I have a smutty Eddie one. Maybe where he’s in his 30s and you’re a lot younger and you meet him back stage at a show? ❤❤

Part two, everybody! The ending is a bit fluffy, but im a fool for fluff, sorry not sorry :)

Requested by: anon

Part one / Part two

warning(s): smut

“Do you want to come inside, mr Vedder?” I ask with a playful voice.

Eddie’s voice is low, “Oh definitely.”

As soon as we’re inside, Eddie presses me against the wall. The door is not even entirely closed yet and I let out a laugh when he realises that too. He kicks the door closed and turns his head back to mine.

Remember when I said that I’m not one to jump into bed with a guy I just met? Well, there’s a first time for everything, right?

Eddie crashes his lips against mine and a lot of new emotions run through my body. He kisses me much harder than before and his tongue is battling with mine. Battling for dominance.

I move my body into his, bucking my hips up a little and earning a rough groan from Eddie when I move against his clothed erection. “Jeez, Ed.” a load moan leaves my mouth when I feel how hard he already is.

“Bedroom?” it comes out as a whisper from his mouth.

“Bedroom.”

Since he doesn’t know where my bedroom is, I grab a fistful of his shirt, slamming my lips against his roughly as pull him with me in the direction of my bedroom. Clothes are already being discarded on our way there and when we reach finally reach my bedroom, we’re left in just our underwear.

Eddie’s eyes me closely and lets out a whine-like sigh of content, “You’re beautiful.”

The heat moves up to my cheeks and he smirks when he notices. I move backwards, sitting on the edge of my bed, unclasping my bra in a teasing-manner. The groans that leave Eddie’s mouth make sure that I’m even wetter than before.

When my bra finally meets the floor somewhere in my room, Eddie immediately moves forward and practically throws himself at me. He has me pinned down on my bed, his hands on my wrists, keeping them in place above my head, while he’s straddling me. “Beautiful, but such a fucking tease.”

The laugh that escapes my mouth is quickly replaced by a moan when Eddie crashes his lips against mine and starts grinding down on me. The feeling of his clothed hard-on is enough to have me soaking wet.

Suddenly, a thought pops up in my mind and for a moment I freeze, all the emotions from before gone, replaced by fear and shame. I suddenly feel very self-conscious and naked. Eddie notices the change in my body language and moves back to look at me, “Everything alright?”

My eyes meet his and I suddenly feel much younger than I actually am. “If you don’t want to continue, we can stop. I don’t want to push you into doing something you don’t want…”

“No! No, I- It’s not that. I want to, I want to do this with you.. It’s just-” I start, but Eddie cuts me off. “You’ve never done this before, have you?” The look on his face is gentle and everything and not judgmental in the least.

I look away from his eyes, ashamed, but nod nonetheless.

Eddie removes his hand from my left wrist and places is underneath my chin, lifting my face up to meet his eyes. “As I said, if you want to stop, we can stop. But I don’t care if you’ve never had sex before and I certainly won’t judge you for it.”

A small smile spreads across my face and I move my face up to place a lingering kiss on his lips, “I don’t want to stop. I just-, it suddenly crossed my mind and I thought you should know.”

“Thank you for telling me, but now, let’s get back to business.” The hunger from before is back in his eyes and I once again completely lose myself in them.

Moans are being released as Eddie places kisses all over my bare chest, giving my nipple extra attention by licking them. One of his hands move to cup my breast and he squeezes it gently.

I can feel his weight shifting from above me, to below me. His head is currently hovering above my panties. Our eyes meet and he looks at me in a way as if he’s asking permission. I just close my eyes and let my head fall back on the pillow.

The lace of my panties are removed from my body by Eddie’s rough fingers. I let out a loud whimper as soon as his thumb grazes over my clit. I look up and see his hungry eyes already looking at me.

Only a second later, he drops his head between my legs and starts licking his way through my folds, stopping at my clit and playing with it.

I can’t stop myself from becoming a moaning, whimpering, panting, mess. Eddie is just so fucking skilled with his tongue circling around my clit.

Just when I think things can’t get any better, he enters a finger in my core. “Eddie!” I scream out his name at the new feeling. He immediately stops moving them and his head comes. It’s a very funny sight, actually. “Shit, sorry. You alright?”

His voice is husky and gruffy and so goddamn sexy. I let out a small, tired, laugh, “Yes, just- you know..”

He smiles, “I know, tell me when it’s too much, yeah?”

I nod and lose myself once again when he starts pumping his fingers in and out. He continues like that for a while, licking and pumping. I’m about to reach my high, but I’m suddenly met with an unsatisfying emptiness when Eddie removes himself from me completely.

The whine that leaves my mouth causes Eddie to laugh as he moves himself up, hovering above me. He reconnects our lips and I scrunch my nose when I realize that the unfamiliar taste on his lips, are my own juices.

The moment our kiss becomes heated, I receive some kind of confidence boost. I push myself up, pushing Eddie down on the bed in the process, so it’s now me who’s hovering above Eddie.

My hand slides down his bare chest, taking in every muscle I can feel. I only stop moving when I reach the bulge in his boxers. Eddie lets out a deep grunt when I start palming his clothed erection.

I break the kiss and move downwards, pressing kisses on his torso and licking his stomach here and there. His boxers are down in a second as soon as I reach the waistband and his cock flies up, slapping across his lower stomach.

My eyes grow wide as I take in the size of his cock. I grab the base of it and give it a slight squeeze, not really sure of what I’m supposed to do. The moan that leaves Eddie’s mouth is encouraging enough for me to continue with what I had in mind.

The hand that’s not on his cock moves to his balls and I squeeze them every now and them in between massaging them. With my other hand I start pumping up and down on his cock. My thumb runs over the tip, feeling the pre-cum. I’m very insecure about my next move, but I manage to gather enough confidence to do it anyway.

I move my head down and give the head of his cock a lick. Eddie hisses at the touch and for a second I’m afraid I’m doing this all wrong, but when Eddie’s hand moves into my hair, tugging lightly at it, I realize that what I’m doing to him is probably having a positive effect.

After a couple more licks, I move more downwards and take his cock completely in my mouth. I start experimenting and after a couple of minutes, Eddie moves his hips up and slightly thrusts into my mouth, causing me to gag every so lightly.

He immediately apologizes and I quickly go back to sucking him off as I did before. Eddie’s increasing swearwords let me know he’s close, so me, being as much of a tease as he was earlier, remove myself from his cock and send him a lazy grin when he lets out a whine.

His hands move to grip on my waist and he moves me up to kiss me hard. I can feel his throbbing cock between my legs, teasing at my entrance. One of my hands is on his chest, the other is tugging on his hair at the back of his head.

Without warning, Eddie slowly slides himself inside me and my nails immediately dig into his skin. My eyes are shut and I let out a shaky breath as I try to adjust to the size of him inside me. “You ok?” Eddie whispers in my ear and after a couple seconds I nod.

The movement of Eddie pushing himself inside even deeper before moving back, increases the pain a bit. Eddie keeps still for a while, gently turning our bodies so he’s on top of me once again.

When he sees my face relax, he places a tender kiss on my lips while slowly moving in and out of me again. At first, it still hurts, he’s pretty fucking big… But soon enough, the pain is replaced by an amazing feeling.

I feel myself becoming more and more needy, so when I want him to go faster, I grab a fist of his hair and tug at it pretty hard. Eddie lets out a groan, mixed of pain and pleasure, and quickly gets the message.

We both hold ourselves together pretty well, but at a certain point, Eddie’s thrust become quite sloppy and uneven. He moves his head down next to mine and whispers sweet nothings into my ear, before announcing: “I’m gonna come, so- (Y/N)!”

Before I can even react to what he’s saying, I get sent over the edge and I release my come around his cock. This must send Eddie over the edge a well, ‘cause as soon as I come something starts feeling my insides, and it’s not Eddie’s cock. It’s his come.

We both pant heavily as we ride off our highs. He gently removes himself from me and he lets himself fall down on the bed next to me. “God, you sure that was your first time?”

I let out a laugh, “Very sure, yeah.”

Eddie moves his head to the side and looks at me, “Well, I hope I lived up to your expectations.”

His comment causes me to slap his chest playfully. “Yeah, you did, very much so.” I tell him after a short silence.

Suddenly, Eddie gets up from the bed. He turns around to look at me and when he notices my confused look, he speaks up with a smile, “C’mon, let’s get ourselves cleaned up a bit. It’s really not nice to wake up and be all sticky.”

So that’s exactly what we do. We both get cleaned quickly and when I get back into my room, Eddie’s already laying in my bed in just his boxers. He looks at me and stretches his arms, signaling me to come to him.

I chuckle at the sight and move over to him, only to have him wrap his arms around me like I’m something he doesn’t ever want to let go off. He gently lifts me up and lays me down beside him, covering both of us up with the covers.

We just look into each other’s eyes for a while, enjoying one another’s presence. Eddie moves his arm up and gently brushes a strand of hair out of my face before leaning in and placing a delicate kiss on my lips. I melt under his touch and crawl even closer to him, his body now pressed against mine.

He wraps his arms around me once again and after we break the kiss, I snuggle my head closer to him and rest it in the crook of his neck.

It’s silent for a bit longer, before I mutter “This better not be a one-time thing.”

The hand that was caressing my side stops abruptly, which causes me to move my head back. I look at Eddie, suddenly feeling very out of place.

The silence and the look on Eddie’s face make sure I get rid of every single bit of confidence I had left.

The confidence is soon brought back when Eddie crashes his lips against mine in such a passionate manner. “God, of course not.” he lets out when he rests his head against mine.

“It will be hard and stressful at times, I’m sure, but I’m also very sure that I want to make this work, (Y/N). I know we’ve only known each other for, like, a couple of hours, but I don’t care. You make me feel some kind of way and that feeling is definitely something I want to keep feeling.”

His words make my heart skip multiple beats. I throw my arms around him and I can feel him letting out a relieved sigh, “We’ll make this work, I promise.”

[loftyexecutor]

jejune

pairing; addelsain [MPIMHE] wc; 3268 rating; t/nsfw [theres one dick touch at the beginning] category; emotional hurt/comfort notes; i havent posted anything in ages and im sorry jfdsgkjd this is self indulgent af but have dox feeling unloved✌✌

Dox turns over, letting out a small noise as he emerges back in the waking world. The blanket is warm where it is bunched by his feet, but Immortal’s chest is warmer where he nuzzles his head into the redhead’s sleeping shirt. He can tell the other is awake by the tiny snort he hears above.

“Good morning,” he mutters, voice raspy from sleep. He scoots a bit up to plant a kiss Immortal’s lips, unheeding of morning breath.

“Mm, morning,” is Immortal’s sluggish reply as he burrows his cheek into the pillow.

The side behind Dox is cold, meaning Herrsh is already up and about, but he’s more interested in his other, currently present partner at the moment. Especially when he can feel a certain body part poking his thigh.

Dox’s lips quirk up into a grin and he slips a hand between them, scooting down Immortal’s body, down his taut stomach and into the waistband of his shorts to curl around his half-hard cock. His hand is barely big enough to wrap around the girth and it somehow manages to send a spark through him.

“Someone’s eager early,” he laughs not unkindly, but Immortal’s hand wraps around his wrist and pulls his hand out of his shorts. Dox quirks his head in confusion; after all, Infi — Immortal — has never been one to decline such an offer before, especially one this bold.

“Gotta go shower,” Immortal grumbles, moving away to get up and head to the bathroom without even a look back.

Dox is left alone on the suddenly too-big-for-him bed, looking at the closed bathroom door with a mixture of confusion and hurt swirling deep in his belly.

Had he done something wrong? Overstepped some invisible boundary he hadn’t known was there? Is Immortal angry at him?

He finds no answer to any of the questions running through his mind, so he does his best to push them away and make sure he’s more careful next time.

The next manages to — somehow? he’s not sure here — go even worse. He returns from Echo’s place with a lollipop she’d given him (they’d gotten that close over the years) stuck between his lips, humming a tune. His spirits were high, and then he found his lovers making out in the kitchen.

Not that that was a bad thing, of course not, but when they’d taken notice of him standing there, watching them with rapt attention, Immortal had pulled away and, red faced as he was, chuckled and said, “I guess that’s enough, haha.”

Dox had watched him retreat into the bedroom; neither his nor Herrscher’s arousal had been very discreet. Dox didn’t dare ask this time, just biting through his lollipop and chewing at the shards as he left Herrscher to go after Immortal.

He can’t even count the days they haven’t had sex. Well, he can, but he’s not going to hurt himself that way.

What he can count, though, is the number of days he hadn’t been kissed. Well, again, not quite correct, but he can very easily count the number of days he hadn’t been kissed on the lips. The others just… stopped doing it.

If he’s lucky, Immortal would kiss his cheek, or Herrscher would lean down and kiss his forehead, but that’s all he’d get. Even asking for a kiss would yield the very same results, so he doesn’t bother anymore.

He fills the void in his chest with chocolate, with helping Echo, with shopping for parts he doesn’t need, with missions he’s not needed on, with trying to find the thing he’d done wrong. He can’t find it, and it only drives it further home.

He wants to be held, wants the cold seeping into his bones to go away, but some masochistic part of him forces him to stay in bed, curled up and shivering. He wouldn’t be given what he wants anyway.

Dox stands in the doorway, holding on to the frame for a second as he watches his lovers lean on each other, completely engrossed in their conversation. He itches to cross the few meters separating them and sprawl across the sofa with them, but he forces that itch down.

It's not his place anymore, he knows. So he retreats upstairs, too silent in the already silent building.

The bed — his bed, the small one in his room, not their shared one — becomes a sanctuary to him. The blanket is warm around him and the pillow doesn't ask why he stays there so much, why he curls up and twists the blanket between his feet. His old room is as messy as his life feels, with unfinished blueprints strewn about the table, El shards piling up between them and rolled in the corners where they'd fallen and he didn't bother picking them up.

His suit sits on a mannequin propped in its own corner, as if taunting him. He'd tried to prevent this, he really had.

But no matter how differently he'd talked or if he'd even withdrawn from affection himself, Herrsh and Immo had always ended up slowly disliking him. He supposes it was bound to happen eventually; they'd lose interest in him sooner or later. No one could stand him if they learned all he'd done.

He'd thought he had come to terms with it.

Unfortunately, he hadn't, as it would seem.

The door opens with a creak he'd gotten used to at this old place and he panics for some reason, squeezing his eyes closed and stilling his body in hopes of appearing asleep. Maybe they'd finally come to the conclusion that they didn't like him anymore?

Who is it? Dox strains his ears and concludes it's Immortal from the way his steps come up to the bed, loud and bold, yet he's trying not to make noise and 'wake' him up.

The gesture makes Dox's heart beat faster.

There's a few moments where Immortal just stands over him in silence and Dox hopes to Ishmael and any other gods that his fake sleeping is convincing enough to fool the other. It seems it is, because Immortal sighs and twists on his heel, leaving the room just as quickly as he'd entered.

Dox's shoulders slump, body he didn't even know had been strung like a bow relaxing, almost melting into the covers.

If he can get a few hours more to pretend they still love him before they take it away from him, he'll take it. Faking sleep had never been all that hard anyway. But now that Immortal had left without a single word or action, Dox feels like he'd been robbed of all the energy he'd had.

He wishes he could have either of their arms around himself now — because wishing for both would be way too much when he can't have either. He wishes he could feel lips against his own, robbing him of breath and making him feel light headed. He wishes for ever curious fingers making him feel like he's interesting, like he's worth it.

Bile forces its way up his throat and he desperately swallows it down around the lump lodged there. The corners of his eyes sting no matter how hard he forces them shut, even when there's colors dancing across the darkness.

He feels pathetic for crying over something so obvious, something he'd expected, but the tears are there nonetheless, rolling down his cheeks and staining the pillow with both normal and dark drops.

Ugly sobs tear from his lips, and through them, he doesn't even hear the door opening again. He's startled by a hand placed on his shoulder, shaking him softly.

Through blurry eyes he can see Immortal kneeling next to the bed, but not much else. His voice is soft and quiet, as if he's placating a scared animal. Honestly, is Dox anything else? "Dox, what's wrong? C'mon, talk to me, what happened?"

Dox's heart pangs at the thought that Immortal feels like he has to calm him. He raises a hand up to his face, furiously wiping the tears away, though the results are dubious.

"I'm fine," he says, pushing himself upright.

"That is such bullshit," Immortal scoffs, reaching out to brush a thumb over Dox's cheek, "Half your face is black!"

Dox chuckles, pushing Immortal's hand away with one of his. "Sorry."

"What're you apologizing for?! For El's sake, Dox, what happened?"

Dox flinches away as Immortal raises his voice, almost unconsciously. Immortal's expression drops at that and he grits his teeth, angry at himself for letting himself go like that. Dox doesn't like shouting, he really, really doesn't.

Dox contemplates going back and saying something else, something that wouldn't make Immortal angry, but then he thinks back to the failed attempts of not reaching this conclusion and decides against it. He would just mess up in a different way, probably.

"You don't have to pretend to care about me anymore," he says, looking down at the bunched blanket between them, hanging halfway off the bed. It's suddenly so interesting, the way the thin purple lines bunch and move over and under the folds. "I already figured out that you were just waiting for the right time to tell me."

Immortal stares at him in silence for long minutes, fiery gaze burning right through Dox. Then, he stands up, and Dox thinks this is it, he's gonna turn around and leave. But he doesn't.

"How did you get to that conclusion?" Immortal asks, his voice steady even though inside he feels nothing but steady. He wants to cry and scream and hold Dox close until he stops thinking such stupid things.

"You don't like touching me anymore. I guess you thought you were sneaky, but it was pretty obvious you didn't want to have sex with me anymore." Dox laughs, eyes looking through the sheets, somewhere far away. It's easier to talk about when he's making fun of it. "And then you stopped kissing me, and I just wasn't… Well, you've made it kinda obvious once I looked at the whole picture! I was actually surprised when you touched my cheek just now, haha!"

Tears prick the corners of his eyes but he refuses to let them fall this time. At least not before Immortal leaves.

"Dox…" Immortal breathes out, as if beyond words. And he is; does his lover think they don't... love him anymore? "Dox, listen to me, I love you— we love you! We never stopped, and we never will!"

Immortal's knees hit the mattress on either side of Dox and he leans down to wrap long arms around Dox's small form. The time traveler simply slumps in the hold, tears rolling down his cheeks once more, despite how hard he'd tried to stop them. He laughs shakily. "What are you doing?"

"Dox, I'm sorry," Immortal mutters into his ear, close enough to do that, "I didn't think you'd... think something like that. I love you, I truly do."

Dox sniffs, a gross sound that should've deterred anyone, but Herrscher enters the room instead, taking in their tangled state. "Why don't you like being with me anymore then?"

"That's not it, Dox! It's just that you l—"

"Herrsh? Could I get a kiss?" Dox asks, cutting him off with a another sniffle. Herrscher looks at Immortal first, slowly puzzling it out in his mind, and then he leans down and presses his lips to Dox's forehead for a split moment.

Herrscher only ever does what Immortal does. Dox fights more tears, though his voice is wavering.

"See? That— that wasn't a romantic kiss… That was a 'will you leave me alone if I do this?' kiss," he mumbles.

Herrscher looks at Immortal, brows furrowing. "It was?"

"No!" Immortal huffs, placing both hands on to Dox's shoulders. "Listen to me for a sec?"

Dox's face looks ten shades of pain at that moment, eyes watery with the unshed tears, and Immortal feels like punching a wall right then. Maybe later.

"We," he says, slowly, to make his point even clearer, "love. you. Shit, Dox, I didn't think you were… Let me explain, it's not that we don't wanna touch you and kiss you, it's just— it's weird!"

"Weird?"

"You're a kid! I'm not gonna fuck a kid! I'm not gonna shove my tongue into a kid's mouth!" Immortal huffs, making a disgusted face, even holding out his tongue.

"I'm not a kid," Dox says, "I'm like five years older than you."

Immortal immediately looks offended, "You're not!" he cries, "You're like three and a half older at most. But still, you look like a kid and it just… feels weird, y'know."

"So you don't love me as much when I look like this?" Dox asks, trying to puzzle this whole thing out. He feels dumb, like he'd just been presented with a machine and told to reassemble it and he has no idea how.

"No! Where do you keep coming up with these dumb ideas! I swear, it's like you're not a genius at all," Immortal grumbles, rolling his eyes.

Herrscher has made himself comfortable on the bed by then, wrapping his arms around Dox from behind and pulling the boy against his chest.

Immortal continues, bouncing on his knees just the tiniest bit. "It's not more or less love, it's just kind of different love? Like, what I just said. I don't... wanna fuck you in this form, but it does make me wanna carry you around and hug you more, y'know?"

"Nuh-uh," Dox shakes his head, brows furrowed.

"See, like that! That just makes me wanna squeeze you. You're very squeezable in this form, by the way."

This finally gets a chuckle out of the time traveler. "Thanks."

Immortal's smile falls into a serious expression again. He brushes the curly strands from Dox's face, thumb rubbing soft, small lines into his cheek. "Dox. We love you. Really, we do. And by Ishmael if you need us to show you then we will, won't we, Herrsh?"

Herrscher makes a non-committal, but vaguely affirmative hum, throat vibrating against Dox's shoulder.

"So I can get a kiss if I switch forms?" Dox asks, swallowing. A ball of… — what, shame? self hate? insecurity? — had lodged itself deep in his stomach, weighing him down and making his gut twist painfully. It almost feels like he wants to puke. It's honestly surprising that his voice doesn't break more than it does. "A— a proper one?"

Immortal looks wrecked as the words leave Dox's dry lips, eyes shouting a vehement 'goddess, sorry!' He looks guilty. "As many as you want, Dox, I swear, I…"

Pink light floods the room and Immortal is a little glad for the timing, unsure where his ramble had been heading. Dox's tiny frame faded with the light, a bigger one left in its place, lithe limbs tucked uncomfortably between them and long strands of hair falling limbly in his face as he hangs his head. For whatever reason Immortal can't figure out, Dox is trying to make himself appear smaller, shoulders tensed and back bent.

He's shivering between them, just like a leaf.

Immortal's heart breaks at the sight; what did Dox think would happen now? That they would tell him they didn't want him in his true form either? What a joke.

Except he knows that's right, and the knowledge makes him want to cry. They'd really screwed up. Or, more accurately, he had. Because Herrscher used him as a guide, wasn't sure about feelings or human emotions or anything, so anything he did was right in the celestial's book. Sometimes that knowledge was off-putting.

He raised a shaky hand to Dox's cheek again, hooking a finger under his chin to gently tilt his head up. Dox's face is a mess and he refuses to look Immortal in the eyes.

Immortal rubs under his eye with a thumb, over the very prominent dark circles he wishes weren't there. "Can I kiss you?" he asks, watching Dox's eyebrows do a dance under his bangs, unsure what position to land in.

All he manages is a small nod.

Immortal leans in, only hesitating a split second mere hair breadths away from Dox, and presses his lips to Dox's in a soft, tender kiss. He can almost taste the whimper that leaves Dox's throat, dying somewhere on his tongue. The kiss itself tastes of salt, dried tears clinging to Dox's lips; Immortal wishes they hadn't been there in the first place.

Dox's arms come up to grip at his shirt, fingers trembling and knuckles turning white from the force with which he fists the fabric. He clutches at Immortal like he's a last lifeline before the doom of an endless sea.

Herrscher holds him close in turn, peppering kisses along the scar peeking from beneath his long hair. He can feel the way Dox's heart pounds like a hummingbird trying to escape a cage.

The scene feels a bit more than a little bizarre, but none of them mind at the moment. Dox sniffles and rests his head against Immortal's collarbone. He doesn't say anything, doesn't trust his voice not to betray him.

"Hey," Herrscher breaks the silence, squeezing Dox's torso the tiniest amount. "We love you, you know."

"I'm sorry," Dox mutters into Immortal's shirt. He trembles between them.

"Why're you sorry? It's okay, c'mon."

There's a beat of silence and then Dox shoves his face into his hands, Immortal's shirt and all. "Sorry. I'm sorry."

Herrscher opens his mouth, brows drawn together in confusion, but Immortal shakes his head. "You're forgiven," he says softly, running a hand through Dox's hair, carding it through the silky locks. He doesn't know what Dox is apologizing for, but obviously it means a lot to him. "It's okay now, I promise."

Herrscher gently guides Dox's chin to the side so he can also kiss him. "Love you," he says, pressing his cheek to Dox’s.

Dox reaches to Immortal, tugging on his shirt a little as if to bring him closer, but it’s nowhere near strong enough to do that. It’s the first such thing he’d done all day. He looks at Immortal like a kicked puppy, cheeks red and puffy from all the crying. “Hold me?” he asks — begs — and something within Immortal breaks. “Please…?” Dox whispers, looking ready to cry again when Immortal doesn’t move for a second too long.

He makes up for it by flinging himself forward, encasing Dox in his arms, smushing Herrscher’s between himself and Dox. The time traveler hiccups a sob between them, but they just hold him closer, a messy and wet sandwich of misery and love.

Immortal’s mind races as Dox slowly calms down, slumped in their hold and ready to pass out at any second. He wants to make it up to him; Dox deserves at least that much. He hadn’t even realized his behavior would make him feel like this, the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind with how much he adores his lover, but that doesn’t mean it hadn’t.

He can already tell Dox is not going to want to change from this form for a while at least. Usually, even unconsciously, he’d shift into the smaller form when going to bed, but right now he’s exactly as solidly big and lanky as ever. Immortal feels sick when the realization dawns on him that they might’ve tainted the form Dox had used to feel better in with bad emotions.

He’ll make it up to him. He’s not sure how, but damned be Elrios if he doesn’t.

[writingthingsisdifficult]

Shrinking - The teaspoon girl pt 5

A witch turns Y/N into a teaspoon sized woman, and Sam and Dean has to make sure she doesn’t get squashed – and find a cure.

Word count: 2226

Have another part – this one is a bit angstier than the others. Sorry about that. Hopefully part six isn’t too far away (I’m sorry – I’m a slow writer).

Please let me know what you think – and remember that I’m not English. Also let me know if you want on – or off – my tag list.

From part four:

Leaning back to look at him like Spiderman, she failed horribly at winking and snorted loudly. “Shhh…” she whisper-yelled. “I’m climbing Sam, can’t you see? Always wanted to – how can I not, I mean look at ‘im,” she continued, slurring slightly. “Mmm… just… muscles, y’know. And…”

She was interrupted by Sam, who surprisingly had turned the shade of a very ripe beetroot. “Y/N, you’re drunk,” he said, gently lifting her off his arm – she’d reached his elbow, and was trying to scramble over a fold in the fabric without falling down – and put her back on the table, where she promptly plopped down on her butt and groaned.

“Hey! Put me back! I’m trying to… I’m gonna… I wanna…” She grinned widely and blew him a loud kiss.

“You’re drunk,” Sam repeated.

“No, I’m not. You’re drunk. I’m… I’m –“ Shutting up abruptly, her eyes darted around frantically. “Bucket!” she mouthed, and then threw up all over herself.

A wet washcloth slapped down on the table, followed by a loud laugh that definitely belonged to Dean. The light hurt in Y/N’s eyes, and she felt increasingly dizzy, but being covered in vomit made nothing better, so she embraced the gesture – even with the laugh.

After wiping her face and discarding her trousers and the sweater, she felt much better. The cool air on her skin slowed the spinning room down to a manageable speed, and she dared to look up.

Dean was grinning, looking like he wanted to laugh so bad, but lacked the courage to do so. Sam was watching her intensely, and suddenly she felt extremely exposed, wearing only a t-shirt and a pair of ill-fitting panties. His gaze was scrutinising, but when she made no signs to keel over, he relaxed a bit, and finally he smiled. “Time to put you to bed, huh?” he said, holding out his hand.

Y/N smiled back, feeling a surge of drunken courage. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Sorry to break it to you, Sammy, but I’m a classy lady. You have to take me out on at least one date first.” With a satisfied grin, she climbed into his hand and let him carry her to the bed.

“Says the girl who just now tried to climb my brother,” Dean chuckled.

“Be nice,” Sam replied with a small, sideways smile. “She’s drunk.”

“Yeah, be nice,” Y/N echoed as Sam tucked the handkerchief around her. “She’s dr – hey! I’m not drunk. You’re drunk.”

“Whatever you say, precious,” Sam finished and turned off the night-light.

It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep, and she slept peacefully, only waking twice from a shadow looming over her, and the rest of the evening passed with hushed conversations and flickering light from Sam’s laptop screen.

The pain that rolled over Y/N when she woke up the next day was out of this universe. Every fibre in her body protested her continued existence.

With massive effort, she sat up in bed and did a short inventory on herself. Head: check, impossible to ignore. Even without the splitting headache, or the fact that her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth, feeling like sandpaper dipped in glue. Torso: heart racing, but otherwise okay. Acceptable. Arms and hands: surprisingly sore. What the hell had she been up to? The previous day was nothing more than an alcoholic blur. Legs and feet: both there. That was a relief.

She sighed. “Water,” she muttered, looking around the room. At least she wasn’t alone.

Sam was nowhere to be seen. Probably out on his morning run, but Dean was cleaning his gun by the window, and hearing Y/N’s feeble attempts to communicate, he looked up from his work. “She lives! How you feelin’, tiny? Ready to go climbing today?”

She frowned at him and the stupid, bright light slapping her across the eyes. “Like shit. What the hell are you talking about?”

“Like you don’t know,” he laughed, “trying to hit on my brother with your impressive rock climbing skills…”

A vision of fabric and arms and a disappointed face flicked in her brain. “Oh, Jesus, kill me! Kill me now!”

“Nope. It’s too much fun watching you dance around –“

Y/N hissed when Sam strode through the door. He smiled brightly when he saw her. “Morning! How are you feeling?”

Y/N’s face flushed with embarrassment. Or maybe it was arousal; he looked absolutely delicious with his hair clinging to his face, and drops of sweat rolling down his throat. “Horrible. Hey, Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m… sorry about… last night.”

He laughed and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. You were drunk. It’s Dean’s fault, really. He shouldn’t have given you alcohol.”

“Hey!”

Y/N grinned. “Yeah, Dean. It’s all your fault!”

“So no harm done,” Sam continued over Dean’s grumbling, holding up a white paper bag. “Breakfast’s in here. Save a sandwich for me.” With a wink, he disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Y/N with a spinning head and bright pink ears.

After breakfast, which turned out much livelier than Y/N had expected, Dean fetched his car keys and the box of fake IDs. He picked one for himself, and tossed the companion piece to Sam.

“Seriously, Dean? Where do you get these stupid names from?”

Sam’s protest was somewhat justified, Y/N thought, when she caught a glimpse of the card. The picture was great, but the name… Special agent Philip Artsville. Didn’t stop her from giggling, though.

When she finally managed to pull a serious face again, Sam had already changed into his FBI getup, and so had Dean. Y/N paused for a moment. “Looking sharp, guys, but how am I gonna fit in those pockets?” The suit was elegant, but the pockets weren’t the largest.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Sam made a series of indecipherable noises before clearing his throat. “Yeah… about that…” He hesitated for just a bit too long. An unpleasant sting settled in Y/N’s stomach, and got even stronger when he looked to Dean for confirmation. “We don’t think it’s such a good idea for you to come with us on this one.”

“What? But…” Never in a million years had she imagined them leaving her behind.

Dean nodded. “Thing is… you’re so small now. If something happens… I don’t have the skills to fix squashed dolls and neither does Sam.”

“Come on! I can’t stay here. I’ll lose my mind! Nothing will happen –“

“You don’t know that. Look, I’m sorry, but the decision is final,” Sam said, looking at her with a mix of sympathy and determination. Y/N stared back with pure frustration in her eyes.

“It’s for the best,” Dean agreed, receiving a cold stare in return.  

“Fuck you,” she spat, trying hard not to burst into tears. “I’m going crazy here and you wanna leave me behind?” She turned on her heel and marched over to her bed-box and climbed in, struggling even more than usual, pulling the handkerchief completely over her head. It felt too big – like she was drowning in the soft fabric.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N,” Sam said, trying to pull the blanket back just to see that she was okay, but she clung to it and almost got lifted off the table. He didn’t get an answer.

“See ya later,” Dean said, and then the door closed.

Y/N peeked over the edge of the box. The room was empty. Darker than she remembered. She climbed out and padded over to the nightlight. At least the switch was on the base.

Slowly climbing onto the metal disc, she stopped for a second. It was harder to get up there. Craning her neck, she tried to see if they’d moved her bed without her noticing. No, it was same lamp as before. But it had definitely grown.

Shaking her head, she threw her leg over the edge and pulled herself up. The switch was harder to push too. Putting all her weight and strength behind the push, she almost toppled over when the switch finally gave and light flooded the table. What the hell? She didn’t have the same problems earlier.

The drop down from the lamp seemed almost daunting now the thought had settled in her mind. Making her way over to the box, she measured herself against it. She couldn’t look over the edge any more. “FUCKING WITCHES!!!!!” she yelled, kicking the matchbox ladder. It didn’t even move, and she sank to her knees, clutching her hair and screaming louder than she had ever screamed before.

Falling quiet, she sat with her back against the box and stared into the room. It was as if it expanded; each wall slowly moved outwards. And it was too quiet. If they’d only left some music on or something. Even crappy daytime TV.  But no. Everything about the situation reminded Y/N of how insignificant and useless she was.

Not ready to face this new revelation, she crawled into the bed and sank deep into her little mattress. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, and eventually she fell asleep, having no other means to pass the time.

Sam came back first. He’d left Dean behind at the diner, and gone straight to the motel with a bag of food. At first he was confused when the room was completely silent, with no sign of Y/N, and his stomach fell when he found her exactly where they’d left her that morning.

“Hey,” he said softly, stroking her hair away from her face to wake her. “I’m back. You hungry?”

Rubbing her eyes, she replied with a yawn followed by the tiniest sigh. “Mhm. Where’s Dean?”

The question punched Sam in the gut. Asking for his brother – he didn’t know what to say. He wished that he was the first thing on her mind when she woke up, but if it was Dean… Her heart would be shattered. Dean had never seen her as anything other than family. “He’s… uh… not here.” It was a coward’s solution, choosing not to utter the words that might hurt her.

She smiled. It was a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless. “Oh, he found himself entertainment for the evening, huh?” Letting out a small laugh, Y/N hauled herself out of the bed and climbed into Sam’s hand. “Good for him. Hope she was pretty.”

Squinting, Sam watched for a heartbreak reaction. There was none. Was the girl Dean had gone home with pretty? He honestly hadn’t noticed. “I guess,” he said, shrugging noncommittally, busying himself with preparing dinner for Y/N.

He put the plate down for her, and pulled up a chair. Y/N was mellower than usual, if mellow was the right word. Somehow all her movements seemed sluggish without the laziness – every time she turned her head it was gentle, a small movement, every step slower, every time she lifted her arms it was… timid: that was the word Sam was looking for. It was as if she tried to be invisible.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, regretting it immediately. The look he received was so lost, so without hope, he could barely stand it.

Y/N drew a short breath and sat down on her spoon. “You mean besides the obvious?” It would’ve been a crisp question had it not been for her voice; just a mist, not really there.

Resisting the urge to scoop her up and cradle her to his chest, Sam settled on leaning on the table instead. The tiny shake almost tipped her over. “We’re working on it,” he offered, knowing it wasn’t enough.

“I know.” It was a short answer, and it broke his heart. Y/N had given up. She looked him in the eyes. “I just… I miss my make-up and my clothes. I miss feeling pretty. And useful.”

“I know you do,” Sam said in a whisper, and continued: “For what it’s worth I think you’re pretty. And even though you can’t help out physically right now, you bring support and friendship. You keep us company. That’s plenty – ”

“Instead I’m fucking shrinking!” Her voice quivered, and she sniffed, turning away to hide the tears in her eyes.

“Shrinking?” This was bad news. A thousand what ifs raced through Sam’s brain.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I can’t… can’t see over the top of the… the…” She sniffed and got up, dragging her feet behind her until she stood in front of Sam’s outstretched hand, and leaned forward a little, nudging it ever so slightly.

As gently as he could, Sam lifted her up and held her tiny body close to him, stroking her back with his thumb. Soon he felt hot tears trickle down his collarbone, and he rocked back and forth, saying nothing and everything all at once.

After a while Y/N’s sobs quieted, and her shaking body stilled in his hand. Her chest rose and fell evenly, and Sam held her up to look closely at her.

Her face was wet and swollen, and the skin around her eyes was raw and pink, but she looked peaceful for the first time in ages.

Careful not to wake her, he carried her over to the bed and tucked her in, before returning to his laptop, doubling his efforts.

Dean found Sam lying on top of the covers in his bed. He was fully dressed and sleeping restlessly. The laptop had slid halfway down from his stomach, and the cursed bowl was in his hand. Scattered all over the bed and floor were papers with scribbles, copies of the symbols on the bowl, attempts at translations.

Smiling softly, Dean checked on Y/N before cleaning up the mess and the computer, and carefully moving the bowl so it wouldn’t fall to the floor and shatter.

Once that was done, he expertly removed Sam’s shoes and coaxed the blanket from under him. “We really need to figure this one out, little brother,” he whispered as he shook the blanket out over Sam. “And then you and Y/N are gonna have a serious talk. Don’t think I haven’t seen through you. Both.”

With a squeeze on Sam’s shoulder, he went to get ready for the night. When he got back after brushing his teeth, Sam had turned over on his side, facing Y/N and stretching a hand towards her.

Part six

Tagging my wonderful friends:

@awesomeahwu @brynleewolfe @funwithfanfics @babeinthebowtie @savingapplepie-eatingthings @winchesterprincessbride @savvythedork @littlegreenplasticsoldier @youtubehelpsmesurvive @blackcherrywhiskey @mrswhozeewhatsis @schwarzwaelder-kirschtorte @aiaranradnay @iamreadinginsecret @barneybrigade @fandomismyspiritanimal @mogaruke @kathaswings @superwholockyooooo @missdestiel67 @blackfandomtrashandproud @wstrumpel @18crazybutcutealsopsycho @saradiamayaf @escabell @exploratiionist @hennessy0274-blog @sushi-senpai-chan @femmewinchester

[morningpages-louise]

November 01 - Setting intentions for November, looking back at 2018 so far, and Reminders and affirmations of life.

it's fucking november. what the fuck. this month, no this year, it went by so fast. i literally say that every year tho. we all do. why is that? the worst part is, most of us, including me, go by it without being mindful. without appreciating the things happening before us. we just kind of let these moments slide right through us. we forget to be mindful. we forget to take a breath, look around and appreciate. appreciate all that we have. appreciate this moment right here which will never ever be replicated. instead, we thinkin about what's lacking. we think about what could make these moments better. we bring in negativity into an otherwise perfect moment. it's annoying as hell but we all do it, we do it unconsciously. this negativity should not and will not rule over our lives. that's why this November, I VOW TO BE MORE MINDFUL--take deeper breathes. take things slower. not overthink every single fucking situation and just allowing each moment to pass. i really want to spend less time infront of my screen too. engaging in mindless social media which is so damn bad i dont know why im sucked into it so much :( but yeah. i just want to go back to the basics. slow down. appreciate. and cherish these last 2 months that I have left. because i will never have these months left. appreciate and take into grattitude.

i would also really like to just look at this year that went by because it's almost coming to a close. 2 months. you know what i find myself being so busy but I must never forget who i am and who my values are and what i value and why i took up all these opportunities in the first place -- for growth, to develop myself, to step out of my comfort zone and become more of the person who i am bound to be, whoever that is. sometimes i really feel like im being sucked in the system. it's like i forget the reason why i decided to do this work in the first place. and it's so damn important to never lose that. never lose that meaning and that reason and that drive that pushed us to try this new thing out in the first place. so damn important. huhu i feel like im on my flow. i love it when these moments come. work starts to be on autodrive and my mind is clearer, and i feel more motivated to work and all. but yes, it's november 2 now. i started writing this november 1.  I feel like when i started this term, i had a grip on my life. i had so much free time. i had a routine set in motion, but then it felt at times like i was just doing certain things for that tick on my planner, which is one of the reasons i stopped using my green bulletjournal. and i was just setting myself up to do so many things -- listen to the news, meditate, write, yoga, and all that stuff and the reality is, as simple as these tasks may be, i just didn't have the time to do most of the stuff and i wanted to do it out of impulse and not out of force, although i do know that that force is what makes certain tasks habits but you get what i mean. so yeah ive completely gotten rid of that way of living. now, it's just me and a black empty canvas and i kind of just choose how i go about my day. the things i want to do more of are

--> Find more time to Read. god, it's been so hard to slip in a quick 30 minutes or even a goddamn chapter :( i get so anxious man gud. so even if i do find a little hole for me to do what i love doing so much, i get an anxious feeling in the back of my mind which is annoying as hell.

--> Indulge in creative projects. no, not write for the sake of my damn internship and shit but create projects that give me joy. i feel like its so important to find time to do these things because being creative is a sort of portal to your soul. it taps into your consciousness and what interests you, what aspects fascinate you and all that stuff. for me, i'd really love to create more personal videos about important moments in my life. i've only done one video about my birthday but it felt so damn great to be honest. the next one i would like to do would be a video about my unit because that unit i hold so close to my heart man. so many memories. so many moments. so many people whove spent a certain amount of time at one point of their lives. im really obsessed with memories. i love saving them. i love keeping them and organizing them so i can look through them from time to time. yup i guess im floating. that's the song im listening to now. it's awesome. it feels like im stuck in a particular moment. held within time. that kind of stuff. god writing feels so good. it gives me a fucking high. makes me tap into my consciousness and check in on how im feeling. okay anyways getting a bit off track.

--> spend more time appreciating things and being in the moment rather than on social media. cmon guys, it's practically the last 60 days of 2018 and im gonna spend it attached to my goddamn phone? nuh-uh. the time for living should be now. the time for being aware and savoring every little moments and creating memories and cherishing them and just taking moments to feel goddamn alive you know. make this year worth something.

but honestly, it's hard to really look back at this year and see the growth that has transcended over the course of the few months. it's hard to look back because im living in it right now and i don't know. right now, it doesn't really feel like much has changed. it doesn't really feel like ive grown. or ive changed or ive bloomed which was literally this year's motto dba. that's why my peg for the whole year was a sunflower, inspired by tylor the creator's album sunflowers or whatever it was called. i still feel the same. i have felt like im the same person for so long to be honest. it never really feels like ive changed, but i bet i have. i just fail to see it. but honestly in terms of headspace, i can honestly say that i feel like im in a better place. im more at peace with certain aspects of my thoughts. ofcourse, i don't think we can ever really be fully at peace with ourselves, but in some way i feel like ive mended certain parts. i'm not in so much pain anymore. when i started the year, i had just broken up with my boyfriend of almost three years. ofcourse i still think about him every now and then, how can you not honestly especially when you spend so much time with a person like that, and it does still pain me when he chats with me to ask something or when i see him because i get a little hope extinguished in me of us getting back together even though i know in the end, despite everything, that we're better off apart. we're better off not together. because it was getting so bad. there was no fire. there was nothing. i felt like i was just forcing myself at times to like him. i didnt even look forward to seeing him whenever i came back from Manila, and that's not a good sign at all. so yeah, i know the most annoying advice ever is when people say time heals. it's so frustrating because you can't really do anyhing but let time heal you and well, it's true. it sucks but its so true. in time, you will just hurt less. there will be a time when his name comes up and it doesn't hurt so much or your thoughts don't start jumping up into nostalgic memories of the both of you. strangers again. it sucks but its the reality, i guess. i knw we shouldn't be together. we weren't a good match no matter how much nstalgia tells you otherwise. but i really really really hope to become good friends with him atleast. not be so fucking scared whenever im about to see him. not feel like i have to drink a whole fucking liter of beer before i see him. because in all honestly, he was such a good friend. so caring and so kind and he always tried to make a positive situation out of something so negative. his optimism sometimes annoyed the shit out of me especially when we were together because it's not as easy to just say like oh don't think about it like that. life is so much more complicated than that. its' a lot more complex. hay i really miss talking to him. he was such a good person to just let everything out to. i miss that the most. but it's okay. i have this morning thoughts now dba? to let everything out and just dump my thoughts and whats been circulating nonstop in my mind. cge anyways, what else. i feel healed. i feel like my headspace is better. well--i also feel like ive gotten better with regards to my connections. i love how this year, ive added new people to my circle. my favorite part. i love how this year has opened me to meeting more people. it has also let me become closer to my existing relationships. made it stronger and that makes me so happy. probably the most important thing i learned this year was the importance of connections, and that no man is an island. no matter how introverted we may be, we can't survive without having connected with other people. i really just want to have more of those throughout my life--genuine connections. where i can be myself and they can be themselves. and where we actually enjoy each others companies. not lackluster, shallow relationships that never seem to go beyond a certain level you know. i want deep, loving, intimate connections. i wish to find a tribe of people where i feel supported and everything. my life goal. but yeah im happy ive opened myself up to meeting new people. probably the biggest development of this year is well the fact that i now have an internship-say what? and or a company ive been following for quite some time nonetheless, mad travel. this whole year i feel like ive been trying to get a job and now i finally have found the time to do so and it makes me happy :) atleast. i know i am capable of gainig jobs and putting myself out there. i feel more confident applying for my jobs and my resue is looking fine. and although my internship is actually sort of a source of stress and anxiety these days, i shouldnt take it so goddamn seriously because in 2-3 years i will just look back at these moments and it wont even matter. what mattered is i did my best. i shouldnt take my work so seriously gyud. that's why i hate turning down friends or turning down invitations for my fucking work because in the end we all fucking die. in the end whatever titles we may have at the moment wont even fucking matter you know. we all die in the end so just live unapologetically and bear yourself to the world. that's so damn difficult and i feel like we take life so damn seriously. we really need to loosen up and have fun and not overthink every single fucking thing. why are we all so damn anxious? it makes me so angry like goddamn get it together. we have lost the true essence and meaning of our lives. we have forgotten why we are here in the first place. to love. to feel. to experience. to learn and most of all, to enjoy. okay that's my ted talk. goodbye and sayonarra.