#it's so inconsequential and then i feel silly for being so interested

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART SIX

leave us in peace and we shall leave you in kind.

cut the crap.

we just want to go home.

enough of this charade.

i'll not play pretend anymore.

you'll soon learn what it means to ally yourself with the likes of this garbage.

i'm free now, and i'm never going back.

fuck them.

felt good letting off a little steam.

if i burn any hotter, i might explode.

don't get too close until i've found a way to calm down.

it's a bit early to be getting into tragic backstories.

let's save the scar-show for later after we've worked up an appetite for tragedy.

in the grand scheme of things, i'm inconsequential [to her].

she favored me like a child favors a captive pet.

it had the makings of a good stage show, but i did not want to be one of the players.

torture, bloodsport? or perhaps just a good old-fashioned walloping?

you owe me nothing.

i could extort you, if that's what you want.

you're teasing me now.

ignorance is alive and well it seems.

don't make me get the wooden spoon.

you'd best have one hells of an apology for me.

if you think your precious little god holds any power here, you're in for a surprise.

do you treat all your guests so poorly?

i don't like busybodies.

you are as thick as they come.

are you telling me you made love to a goddess?

i shared a bed with a goddess and yet i wasn't satisfied.

shall i share the story behind it or would you rather head straight to its sordid finale?

how are you still alive?

we've come this far together and we'll continue on together.

even i am tired of the sound of my own voice.

i'll rip your spine out of your asshole.

i'll use your blood to spice my stew.

i'll keep you alive until i've sucked the marrow from your bones.

killing me is a waste of time.

you bastard, you ruined everything.

this is an interesting way of thanking me.

a slap is all you deserve.

a hag was never going to help you.

they don't help anyone but themselves.

that double-crossing, filthy, lying hag.

focus on the positive.

forgive the aroma.

perhaps that is why i have survived so long where more fearsome peers have not.

your loyalty is admirable but misplaced.

his kind have charm beyond our mortal means to resist.

who'd keep a secret like that from his friends?

you can't trust anyone these days.

even in the middle of nowhere, he can reach me.

why do you insist on exhuming the past?

people think the biggest threat to a vampire is a cleric with a stake.

they're scheming, paranoid, power-hungry beasts.

i am what i must be, says what i must be.

how does it feel to be a devil?

i can't tell if you're being silly or serious.

you have to admire the man's ambition.

i promise i will not betray your trust.

you kept me by your side despite the menace i am.

i learned quick how to stay alive.

to feel invincible again.

this isn't where i thought i'd end up.

maybe when this is all done, you can show me where you came from.

i'm not normally one to begrudge someone their secrets, but..

i'm already blessed to have you at my side.

don't you cut a fine figure.

i am not some lower city coinlad offering you a tumble.

there is nothing so depressing as learning one's true value.

i could use someone with your skills.

they're ravenous predators with fangs like daggers.

it's hardly an irrational fear to harbor.

you've been decent to me, so far.

everyone's got their own fears.

maybe that's what i like about you.

all of this was for nothing.

if you're here to help, get to the fight quickly.

gods, i thought you were one of those beasts.

i'm not chasing after it, if that's what you're thinking.

the little beast's charming once you get accustomed to the smell of rotting flesh.

[wilchur]

I really don't think I'll ever get to actually writing it this decade because I have just That Many other wips and this story is Long, but my god I keep rolling that RDR2 Modern AU of mine in my head like a pretty pebble and I have Many Thoughts. Looong ramble under the cut.

The general gist of it that it's supposed to be a "happy ending" to a true crime story, but it isn't. Not for a long while, at least. Like imagine watching a 45 minute documentary on a missing person's case, the credits roll and you're like "Wow so happy that they turned up in the end" but on the other side of the country that person has been having the worst fucking time for the past year and would've probably been better off missing.

Let me explain.

Up until May 1999 the story plays out like your run of the mill Modern AU that is kept as close to canon as I can make it. Of course some things are different in the way that comes from throwing everything a 100 years into the future like how Eliza and Isaac died in a car accident, not a home robbery. People have jobs that are different, some backstories needed to be adjusted. Arthur's last name is Matthews and not Morgan, having been adopted by Hosea and Bessie when he was around 8 or so. Him and Mary have actually been married, but it still didn't work out. Small divergences, seemingly inconsequential.

Then on May 18th Arthur Matthews goes missing. Leaves no clues as to what might've caused him to leave and where, had showed no signs anything could be wrong before he disappeared. A proper mystery. Of course it's a big thing for a while, Hosea being a pretty well known crook defence lawyer makes it interesting for the news, but after 6 months of nothing even the nastiest vultures get bored and everyone pretty much assumes Arthur to have died. Especially since he's well known to be a recovering alcoholic with multiple relapses under his belt. Probably fell off the wagon again, tripped into a ditch, hit his head. Dead.

That's when Arthur Morgan shows up.

It's up to the reader to decide if this is some universe warping time travel shenanigans or if he's the same person that went missing, just having an episode of some sorts. To everyone in the story Arthur "I'm telling you, I jumped off a sinking boat in 1899 and then showed up here" Morgan comes off as Mentally Unwell, so it doesn't really matter since it is not told from his perspective anyway and there's no way of really knowing.

(It's John's POV by the way. Forgot to mention that, whoopsie.)

And the entire story is basically a whumpy hate letter to all time travel AUs where Arthur gets yeeted into our times and pretty much shrugs it off with minor discomfort (/lh I don't actually hate those, they're silly fun, but they're not realistic?? And I am a realism nerd). Here, he gets majorly fucked up by it. Because how could he not be? First off, Hosea, who he just watched die maybe days prior, is alive and well. So is Sean and so is Lenny. He may be happy, but all that only makes everything feel even less real, pushes him further into believing that the reality he's in is some sort of a mirage or a dream. People talk about all these things that have not happened to him, there are pictures of a stranger with his face in places he's never been to. It's distressing and Arthur might be a guy that handles pressure well, but I doubt there's a single person on earth that wouldn't break under the weight of that. He's no different.

He keeps getting really distressed whenever that kind of stuff gets brought up too often. Starts having regular panic attacks, gets put on medication, sent to therapy. The "gang" are there to help him through it, but the situation takes a lot out John in particular once he realises that whatever has happened to Arthur seems unlikely to be reversed. Just as much as the person in every single family picture is a stranger to Arthur, this Arthur is a stranger to John. It's like he really died in a way. So the plot is just as much Arthur learning to cope and maybe eventually accepting that all of this is real and he's just "crazy", as John watching him go through it while simultaneously grieving the person he no longer is.

Basically an essay pondering the question "What makes us who we are, our memories or personality?" disguised as a fanfic because I like getting philosophical sometimes lol And I genuinely love it. This AU is my baby and really want to work on it, but it would have to straight up be a novel-length story. I don't have that in me 😭😭

[3point14a]

OK SO SOME PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED IN OUR PUPPET AND ILL TRY TO EXPLAIN MYSELF OVER HERE because 1) I dont think it's a good explanation really :,3 (still working on it) and 2) since we are still working on it (magic system killing us) I don't think i should put it on my art blog or whatever given it may change ToT not how they (the twins) are per se but the explanation of why the hell they r even like that

so yeah! a lot of text under the cut! i don't guarantee any of it makes sense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok so first of all: Choco you were so right about most of those guesses you did holy shit.

It's both. Pup is trans and identical to Mai and they r both afab, demi-boy he/they, Mai is demigirl she/they, silly as hell. And for the horrible part?? Uh buckle in because this is a lot of us just trying to make ourselves understandable at all

Ok so. Ok so. What the hell are shadows. 

Fhs (Mainly Zero) tells us that shadows are a manifestation of people's negative emotions, the worst sides of them. We really really don't like this, shadows being "things a person is suppressing" 1) because we just don't really like it as a trope?? Like, the demons will get you in the normal people way, you will explode in the normal people way, we don't need magic to make you explain what's wrong with you it will show eventually. (we also think  it takes away some responsibility to the characters, if they act out, bc of their shadow instead of that just being a human quality.) 

And 2)  because Fred being grouped in there just feels bad, we know he's the "exception" and that's why he's special but we don't like it irregardless, it takes away from his personhood to be in that shadow category if theyre going to overall be categorized as smth that “is” someone else's, and therefore we just have to come up with a new magic system!!! easy peasy right?!?!?! (no)

In canon, we really just do not know what's up with mai and pup (puppet) (pup is shorter and they match with 3 letters lmao). Like, Pup just gets into the shadow world??? for no reason??? And they don't even look like a shadow at all? Why is bro still the same, what were they doing there, how did he get there? are they a shadow or not or a secret third thing?? what is going on, someone help. We also thought it'd be fun to make them opposites to fred and freddy. So if those guys are 2 people in 1 body, then Mai and pup are 1 person in 2 bodies (not really) ((kinda?))

Like,,,,what in the world is up with jitter doll?? if you read the lyrics none of it really? makes any sense? it has a bunch of machine imagery and language that doesn't really serve any purpose? Lyrics go on and on about the singer (pup) being sort of a machine, cables and malfunctions and unable to love, and he's also weirdly chill about it ??? Like hes over there saying "I feel like I'm going to blow up and they'll get rid of my body. They'll kill my foul heart" and smiling??? Like incredibly chill about it?? So we smashed our heads trying to give the twins something cool and also make ANY HEADS OR TAILS out of jitter doll.

So.  Machine stuff. Shadows. Something something. Here's what we have right now and what will maybe probably change: Shadows are sort of souls leftovers.

Souls (for now) Have limits? They hold feelings and thoughts and stuff, but when something is too much to handle or when you forget something inconsequential or when you cry or laugh or yell and get rid of excess emotion, that doesn't just disappear. It kinda groups together and becomes a weird invisible thing laying motionless in a corner.

"How do you end up with a shadow?" You are,,,, fundamentally empty. The shadows just by innersia look for some sort of host or vessel or whatever. If your soul has enough space (you don't really feel much or do much or whatever, fundamentally empty) Then they get in there, which doesn't really happen often?? Because most people aren't just empty lmao, sorry Freddy.

Once there the body does some fuckery unconsciously and realizes there are 2 people in here and separates both souls and whatever, like i said, work in progress magic systems are hard and they are killing us. But yeah it doesn't happen often,,, but there is another way shadows start existing,,,,,,,,,,,, and it's by the love put into a craft.

So when you do art, you put "your soul into it" right? Well, when you put passion into a project and pour your everything into it, and when that thing is still somewhat broken, they can take over it! So let's say, haunted painting? Yeah that's a shadow, that painting was made with love and care and yet it remained unfinished because the painter died. But here is where our entire thing will get weirder to explain: Video Games.

Passion project video games, and that good old trope of "The game becomes self aware" but forrealsies. Sometimes you take your silly game with you and it gets possesed?? It's somewhat normal in their society by now. Not fully normal? Like, they still get treated weirdly because "why is that video game character alive" or questioning if they are even alive, dehumanizing stuff and somewhat feared! The inherent human terror of "the creation betraying it's creator" and the "machine uprising" that already gets said in our world, is a lot worse when the machine ACTUALLY becomes sentient. But it tends to follow a certain pattern.

For no rhyme or reason, SOME copies of some games have characters gain conscience, the government in fear of the aforementioned "machine uprising" makes them a body that's as human as possible to keep them from lashing out (whatever that means), they pass off as humans. There are 2 exceptions to this, Pup (the one you care about) and Red (oc)((who invited her))

This isn’t about Red so I’ll refrain from explaining them beyond “didn’t take over a character but over a bunch of glitches”. Pup Didn't take over a game at all! 

Mai and pup are based on the puppet from fnaf right? There's another puppet in fnaf called "security puppet" which we were like "haha their mom" and it snowballed. To have that puppet that was in charge of looking after children, associating the fnaf puppets with tears (tear marks), and the immediate neuron activation of the hit song "its been too long" I was like "she's super protective of her child" and the reason for that protectiveness was insanely warranted.

To put simply, marinette (mai's legal name) ((the og child)) was just sick. Always, forever, just incredibly sick and frail and it hurts to look at because damn that little girl should be jumping on trees and not just in pain at the hospital. Her mom cried over her a lot. All that was on that girl's soul was mostly pain, sorrow, sadness, all of that stuff.

One day! her body had enough!!! and wanted to literally die! It didn't! however, to save "her" her soul sort of split into two and got rid of what was always overflowing (negativity), the puppet has this entire thing of “giving gifts and giving life”, a second chance to live and a gift to be able to not be sick anymore. And so, parts of shadows and parts of her actual soul mixed and mixed and left her just fundamentally wrong. And the phone that she had to call her mom in case of emergencies (or if she felt bad at all) was pretty bare bones and somewhat broken (old), and it only really served as a way to call, it had no games or apps or anything except for some photos of Marinette. Jumpscare, the photo is now alive. 

Anyways Pup gets a body, and first of all that just creeps the hell out of their mom, obviously. New thing just starts existing and looks identical to your child, talks like her but without any real emotion behind it? Her husband left her over keeping Pup because they never really agreed to have TWO children and it was enough with ONE thing that just went in and out of the hospital and burnt money. And yet her child was healthy again after it, and they looked identical, and it’s hard to hold a grudge against someone who has the face of the person you love the most, and it’s also hard to look them in the eyes.

Pup's mom loves him, for sure, she was definitely relieved when he came out as trans and was way more visibly unlike Mai. She couldn't just leave a child that looked just like hers to fend for their luck in another place. It's complicated, with good reason, that woman is stronger than I could ever be.

Pup and Mai both ended up messed up, because that was never meant to happen and because souls and shadows aren’t meant to mix and they lost stuff on the way of splitting (sort of spilled out?) So they both lack a lot of stuff, and also are insanely dependent on each other to function (one in the same).

Mai is overbearing, just by nature, she can’t feel sadness and she can’t feel most of anything that isn’t happiness, she’s impulsive and easily distracted, she can’t read people feeling bad and she can’t give any other insight than “just get over with it and focus on the good ^^” (inspired by her advice in al reves) because she can’t really do anything aside from that. Every bad thing they have felt either registers as somewhat inconsequential or doesn’t really feel like actual sadness, it’s just an excess of energy that makes them angsty and hyper and stuff. Mai also cannot taste stuff, and also does not feel temperature at all, pup does that for her. Both of them are unable to really feel fear, awesome for them (it’s not).

Pup is sort of nothing, they are not empty but sort of insanely muffled, he feels strongly for nothing and doesn’t have any passions or any desires or any anything, he also cannot feel pain, Mai feels it for him. Calling back to Jitter doll, his chill nature to absolutely deranged stuff and the machine language and fred “having something he could never have” is explained that way. He doesn’t fear stuff, he isn’t angry at stuff, he cannot love people, or not in the way that most or any people describe love at all. He doesn’t understand feelings and he doesn’t understand people and he doesn’t understand himself. And he searches for some sort of answer to what they hell they are. Because both of them are aware they were the same person, both of them are aware that they aren’t anymore, and both of them are aware they don’t really function how people should. 

You might have seen that we draw them with eyepatches (or have started to do that) ((new lore called for new designs lmao)), and that is the greatest indicator of them being connected in a weird way. Marinette had a birthmark on her eye, Mai (as the original body) has it on her covered eye and Pup has it mirrored because haha the photo was mirrored. The eye with the birthmark is actually the eye of the other twin, and when they don’t have it covered they just share thoughts, which obviously gives them both a massive headache, which is why they cover it. "wasn't pup unable to feel pain?" fun fact! headaches are not really actual pain (for the most part), they are pressure and tenderness in the scalp and stuff like that! So they are not free from headaches lmao

Pup wants to feel fulfilled, like an actual whole person, and he has no clue how to achieve that in the slightest. But because they perceive what happened to them as supernatural (how else do you describe that) they both went into ghosts and stuff like that. 

They both walk around and try and find ghosts and ask them stuff, they ask people stuff about local legends and local hauntings to try and get some lead on what they are and how (or even if) they can fix themselves. Pup reads a lot more than Mai and is a bit more obsessive with understanding what is up with them. Because while Mai is also messed up, she at least is still regarded as the child they both were, their mom looks at her in the eyes. Hence my little drawing of him with a bunch of books and torn apart pages. In the stories they’ve seen ghost take over lives (took over marinette’s face), they are uncaring (like pup), and a daughter WAS lost, neither of them are Marinette anymore. 

Pup, by feeling all muddled and devoid of most feelings at all, is still attached to the idea that they could become one again, while Mai, who is unable to be anything but positive, is certain they are different people now and forever. Pup is also attached to not seeing himself as alive (?), as a program (what ppl like him r called) and being technically artificial he thinks of himself as a robot, as something lacking that human spark, hence the entire robot thing in jitter doll, they use that as a way to sort of cope with how wrong they are because otherwise it really just sets in that they are simply unfixable. A robot or a ghost or an android or some spirit, whatever you want, except an actual alive person. 

Also calling back to them both just sort of appearing in Fred and Freddy’s mind in the show and all the weird meddling they do with them both. Like how pup is implied to remember meeting fred in the shadow realm thing cause he says “haha this feels familiar” when freddy asks for their name, or like mai saying “it's easier to notice someone's absence when they are always beside you ^^” and stuff like that. They have some dream insanity at camp.

Camp to us us is the end of the world and an insanely important event, due to close proximity all the people related to shadows sort of start sharing dreams, which is nice for no one, and which definitely sparks those two to be insanely invasive in hopes of discovering something new in their mad chase for any answer at all, Rip Freddy and Fred I’m sorry they are like that (inspired by them being voted as enemies in the series, at least according to the subtitles, i think she says friendemies but that also works irregardless) 

They are just not really good friends to most people, and even worse to Fred and Freddy. They sort of see Fred like a thing, like something they can get answers out of and something they can learn from, they dehumanize him a tad and it’s not done with actual bad intention, they aren’t trying to be bad people or anything, but then again they are just fundamentally wrong, and the absolute worst at feelings. Pup in general already dehumanizes himself so what’s the damage of doing it to someone else?? 

They also make Freddy feel unwanted, they treat him as a gateway to see Fred, and that messes with Freddy because everyone always asks for Fred, like, people like Fred more than him, and he’s just the means to get that. 

HGHGHGHGHG ANyways if anyone got here thank you so much, sorry this is so long and if it answers nothing, like we said, magic system is killing us. However I love them both too much to not draw them even without a set magic system so i couldnt hold back from drawing them </3

Last thing: Did you guys know mai and pup's songs respectively start at the same time in their episodes???????? That's so creepy why would they do that??? t2e7 6:56, then t2e8 6:56. What.

But yeah to anyone or everyone who was curious thank you so so so so much for showing interest :D And I'm very sorry if our answer is not that sufficient lmao, <3 <3 <3

[familiariscanis]

i don't care if bsd is believable. i don't care if the plot twists make sense, because honestly they never really have made much sense and they don't necessarily need to. bsd tends to be kind of ridiculous and a lot of times that's what makes it fun and endearing. i am perfectly willing to suspend my disbelief for this show.

i do care if bsd is rewarding tho, and i don't feel like this was a particularly rewarding season finale as far as dazai's character goes. another dazai ex machina ending to a season isn't the problem here for me; it's the doubt that resolution is retroactively casting on everything dazai has done and said in the last arc. it makes the sincerity of everything he said suspect. it makes me wonder if he was ever really in danger. how much dazai knew, how assured he was of his victory isn't entirely clear, but that doesn't really matter. what matters is that enough of the conflict in the mersault arc was shown to be not real, and that puts everything in a different light. it makes any vulnerability or weakness dazai showed during the arc seem inconsequential, and it makes it feel less genuine dazai's speech to chuuya when he was "drowning" chuuya was interesting when the chapter released because it had so many character and relationship implications. dazai, pragmatic and logical as he is, being capable of killing chuuya if he had to but not incapable of feeling nothing about it. it made you wonder if perhaps dazai might be doing something he'd regret, if he'd realize only once it's too late the true consequences of his actions. dazai saying for years that he wants to kill chuuya and genuinely believing that he wants him dead, only to realize once he's succeeded at that that his life is missing something without chuuya there to irritate him... that's interesting! that's opening up a whole world of possibilities for dazai's character and their relationship. even if chuuya survives, dazai still may be faced with the realization that hey, he doesn't want chuuya dead. it forces him to really reckon with the magnitude of importance chuuya has in his life, which, for all of their unspoken trust, may be something dazai has taken for granted. it might make him re-examine his feelings or himself. it might change the dynamic between them.

now that there's the possibility of it being pre-planned, that speech loses it's weight— and the character implications of it are somewhat lost. of course, there is the possibility that dazai didn't know at the time, that he only figured it out at some point during the events of the game. it's certainly open to interpretation and it's definitely interesting to interpret it that he didn't know at the time, but it's an equally valid interpretation that dazai knew all along, so it shifts the exploration of dazai's character and his feelings for chuuya from the realm of canon to fanon.

but the way that the vampire fake-out plot twist is presented does strip some of the possibility for vulnerability from dazai's words. it casts enough doubt on it to make it plausible that he was just fucking around, that it doesn't really mean anything. it keeps dazai in a secure place of superiority in the narrative and makes him immune to normal character flaws and weaknesses. dazai, as a person, is supposed to be learning to trust and he wins because of that trust, but it's falling flat for dazai as a character (for me, at least) because we don't believe there was ever really a risk that he'd fall. as the audinece, we can see asagiri setting up a safety net and it negates the impact of the trust fall that dazai is supposedly doing. basically this plot twist is the emotional equivalent to seeing a video of someone jumping off a ledge and then the camera zooms out and you realize what you thought was a 30 foot drop is actually only about 3 feet. and not only is it not rewarding, but it makes me feel like i was silly for being worried in the first place.

[euphorroria]

Some of my thoughts about Lucifer/Lilith. Please ignore at your leisure lol

Lucilith annoys me at the moment. I feel like people act like their chemistry is the best in Hell, simply because of their Jessica/Roger Rabbit silhouette. Tall beautiful queen and her short silly husband.

Lilith hasn’t even had any speaking lines yet, so her personality is just not there atm. There’s no chemistry I can see for that reason. Unless Vivienne got real creative with her, idk if I’m ever gonna be into this pairing. Not accounting for my straight fatigue and hetero repulsion which could make me biased, but I think I have a point.

I’m kinda worried Vivienne didn’t get that creative though. Like, it’s not enough to make a relationship interesting to be like “oh yea, she tops him”. That’s super bare minimum to me.

If bad bitch milf is her only personality trait I’m gonna continue being bored. Maybe I’m wrong though, maybe she will be a really interesting character. I’m certainly interested in the mystery around her, but that doesn’t make a compelling character on its own.

Also, Lucifer IS short and silly but he’s also drop dead gorgeous and sexy as holy fuck, and has so many flaws and sooo full of personality, I might just be gay but comparing him to Lilith, she just looks like every typically attractive skinny blonde model popularized in the 80’s. She is very unremarkable looking compared to Lucifer, when people talk about how she’s the most beautiful being in hell I’m like, where? She’s pretty but so is everyone else in Hell. So, already the Morticia and Gomez visual dynamic isn’t there.

I feel the same way about her face as I do Adam’s, they are both very average faces. (Also they are white, why are the first humans white, why oh why oh why was that the final decision)

So until her personality is shown there’s no chance that Lucilith has any intrigue to me. I’m not including Eve because we know even less about her than we do Lilith.

Also she was made from Adam’s rib, and I don’t wanna get into the implications that that would technically mean she’s made from Adam’s DNA. Bible is fucked up.

Then even if you don’t believe that, the innocence only lasts until the generation after them needs to procreate. That’s some unavoidable and very gross territory when talking about the genesis creation narrative.

Just wanted to inject my inconsequential thoughts onto the internet, thank you for indulging me, I reaaally like Lucifer if that wasn’t clear.

[emeraldspiral]

Top 10 Invader Zim Characters Besides Tak, Skoodge, and Zib Who Should've Made a Comeback in No Particular Order:

#1 Ultra Peepi

There's like a million Godzilla movies + giant robot anime to draw inspiration from for a sequel. We saw at the end of Hamstergeddon that Peepi crash landed back on earth somewhere. So he could be in hiding, burrowed underground, or he could've mutated further and grown gills to hide deep in the ocean. Just invent another monster so there's an excuse to go and awaken Peepi to fight it and make the concept as stupid as you want. The show even already established that a giant Santa monster revisits the planet annually, so the return of Ultra Peepi could double as a sequel to the Most Horrible Xmas Ever. Give me Ultra Peepi King of the Monsters.

#2 Iggins

A big issue with Gaz is that being apathetic and wanting nothing to do with Zim or the paranormal as core facets of her character makes it difficult to create interesting storylines for her. So she mostly ends up just existing to be someone Dib delivers exposition to and to make snide remarks at his expense. GameSlave 2 worked really well for her because there was actually something for her to care about and you got to see how Not So Above It All she is compared to Zim and Dib when it comes to the few things she's passionate about. So it seems like if you want to do more episodes centered around Gaz it'd be a good idea to bring Iggins back as a recurring thorn in her side. Maybe it starts off with her not taking him seriously and beating him without much effort, so she can still see herself as not being like her brother. But then Iggins starts to really get under her skin and she feels like she has to teach him a lesson, but he just never learns. Like Zim, Iggins is too egotistical and overconfident to admit defeat, and it starts to drive Gaz crazy after awhile and eventually she becomes just as obsessed as her brother with trying to beat him and prove once and for all that he sucks.

#3 Service Drone Bob

I would love an episode about him fleeing the empire after they attempted to kill him and joining the Resisty. Actually, what would really be funny is if they did the concept I came up with where they do a Resisty story, but troll the audience by only showing them little slivers of what sounds like a really exciting story as cutaways from a silly, inconsequential no-stakes story completely disconnected from it. But like, in those brief glimpses, you'd get just enough references to what's happened off-screen to form an impression of this whole Zuko-esque character arc that Bob's been through of having his eyes opened and unlearning Irken propaganda and being at war with himself before finally deciding to join the Resisty and then having to win their trust and establishing deep bonds with the rest of the group. And then it all ends with one cutaway indicating that they're about to go into the final all-or-nothing battle and then the last cutaway reveals that everyone died and their actions made no impact on the status quo and will never connect back to Zim in any way.

#4 Chammy Wamboo

I think there was a lot of missed potential with Chammy's first appearance. It's hinted that she has actual supernatural abilities, which makes her vaguely unsettling, but the story didn't really go anywhere with it. I think a good way to bring her back would be if she just appeared with no explanation and started harassing Zim and Dib again but this time it seems like it's actually working and it's freaking them out. Eventually, they figure out that Chammy got back to earth by using her powers to brainwash everyone in her path into being her friends and cooperating to help her get home. Now that she's back she's not going to try to reason with Zim and Dib anymore, she's going to make them be friends whether they like it or not. So it's no longer even a question of whether Chammy's just wrong about their relationship or if Zim and Dib are just being stupid, stubborn idiots who can't see that their lives actually would be better if they became friends. The issue now is that their free will is being violated and she's treating real people like dolls she can mash together and make kissy-noises with.

#5 Invader Tenn

I think a lot of Tenn's popularity is owed to her being one of very few female Irken characters and one whose brief appearance in Megadoomer gave rise to a lot of speculation about what might've happened to her next. The earliest versions of the fake fanon Invader Dib storyline involved an attempt to rescue Tenn from the Meekrob, but I kinda like the idea of her ending up in Moo-Ping 10 and teaming up with Tak to escape. Really though, there's an infinite number of possibilities for whatever happened to Tenn after Megadoomer. Was she left for dead? Did the Tallest blame her for failing her mission even though it wasn't her fault and banish her to a place like Dirt or Foodcourtia as punishment? Did she ever find out Zim blew up her Megadoomer?

#6 Zorphic aka "Madness"

The dog that terrifies Zim turning out to be an alien was such a good twist and I wish we could've seen him make good on his promise to get revenge on Zim for his betrayal. I think he has an interesting personality that sets him apart from a lot of the Zim cast but we never got to see what he's like in retribution mode.

#7 Bill

Outside of Career Day I think we only see Bill once more briefly in Chickenfoot and then again in the Lil Meat Man story, where I don't remember him really doing any of his usual schtick of wasting Dib's time and making his field of expertise look bad, they just kinda drive around together trying to catch Zim but always getting to where he's been after he's already left. I think there could've been some more funny episodes with Bill stepping on Dib's toes. Like Dib needs to follow Zim into a location but Bill is blocking him because he thinks there's a real monster in there and Dib's trying to convince him that it's just a cereal mascot and the real threat is Zim. Or Dib and Bill are investigating the same phenomenon but they disagree about what's causing it. What it actually is is plainly obvious to Dib, but people either believe Bill instead because some poorly timed coincidences make Bill's theory look right, or they just buy into his absurd leaps of logic because they think the complexity of the theory makes it more well thought-out than Dib's simpler, more straightforward explanation. Basically Bill is like a YouTube pop culture theorist making garbage arguments and Dib is the person making debunking videos that unpack all the logical fallacies, glaring omissions, and outright lies used to support his flimsy thesis that ignores what's overtly communicated by the text.

#8 Dwicky

I feel like there's a bit more mileage that could've been gotten out of getting Dib's hopes up and teaching him a harsh lesson by having Dwicky repeatedly promise to help him, only to flake out, until Dib finally realizes that just because he's an adult and he believes him doesn't make him reliable or a worthwhile ally.

#9 Membrane's parents

We only see them briefly in the comics but I really want to know more about Dib and Gaz's grandparents and what relationship they have with them. Are they even still alive? Do they visit ever? Membrane apparently chooses to believe in Santa because he can't bear to think his parents would give him socks for Xmas, so he must otherwise have positive feelings toward them which makes the disappointment of getting socks feel too contradictory to his perception of them to reconcile with. But then again, Dib and Gaz seem to be pretty fond of Membrane, but as outsiders the audience can see that he's a terrible parent and hope that when they get to be teenagers they'll start to realize it. I just feel like if we got to know more about their grandparents we could understand better why Membrane is such a bad father. And who doesn't love a good story about unpacking generational trauma?

#10 Snarl Beast

It's a fucking crime this space cat didn't become a regular cast member. Like I've said before, Snarl could've been like Dib's GIR. An adorable-on-the-outside-but-actually-horrifying little creature who fucks things up for Dib more than he helps, but Dib would never dream of parting with it, and Hot Topic could print money off of it.

[madmutts]

I get you on feeling silly, a lot of triggers can feel small or inconsequential but if you think about it, music is built on emotion, most songs are trying to get you to feel certain emotions, it just so happens that these songs make us feel no so great emotions

And I feeel you on the not going places thing, it’s a huge bummer, I recently had to quit my local book club because their idea of being “inclusive” was reading a bunch of books about heavily triggering subjects. That was a massive bummer, but it’s not you being a bummer cause you can’t go there it’s the places being bummers, it seriously sucks that we gotta struggle like this, but not going places, and putting out health first, and putting in the steps to not relapse (interesting fact btw I’ll remember that) is proof that we’re rlly strong, even if we don’t feel that way.

(Sorry for the long winded response, I don’t mean to beat a dead horse you just got me thinking ya know)

Yeah that makes sense. At least when I go out with the fam, I can usually focus on other stuff and tune it out.

And that really sucks that they'd do that and not like. Make sure everyone was ok with it? If a book has triggering topics in them, the whole group should agree to read it and if someone doesn't then that book is shelved for later. But apparently people don't think that stuff through.

Also don't apologize for long asks, I appreciate them jdkfkd <3

[sacrificialsam]

I've been seeing posts about woman-coded sam that have irked me and you basically put into words all of my thoughts on the matter better than i ever could have. Like if they think it's silly or just don't agree, sure. But there are some pretty stark ways that sam is demeaned by the narrative, other characters, and fandom in general, and it seems fair to be able to put a name to that theme without being labelled problematic in some way.

right, others have pointed this out too but analysis of sam's womancoding predates the current trend of comparing fictional men to women, so i feel like completely conflating the two is inaccurate, even if there is overlap. and i'm not saying the more "serious" womencoding discussions are without fail either, for example there are enough people who believe that any character who experiences sexual violence must be womanly somehow, implying that something like rape would never happen to men, which is obviously untrue. i just personally think it is unnecessarily restrictive to brush off any writing that compares the way fictional male characters are written and received to how real gender stereotypes are thought of, how other fictional works deal with female characters, and how misogyny plays into it all. i have read really interesting points about this from people i respect a lot, and while i don't think it should ever be compared to actual feminist work that helps analyze and dismantle sexist stereotypes i do think it's a discussion worth existing, even if it is just inconsequential media analysis on tumblr. though i have to mention that i would probably have a different view on all of this if i didn't know anything about sam/ supernatural as a whole, or this was done with a show that actually had a female main character, and i generally don't blame people for feeling annoyed or put off by the whole thing.

[toskarin]

Language Disguises Thought, Baby (1/2)

I said I'd do this, so consider this the opening to my Space Dandy episode-by-episode minireview post. I'm going to break this up into season 1 and 2 because there's a very clear shift that happens between them (although I'd argue that a few late season 1 episodes show this shift)

there will be no scores, no rankings, just a few sentences and my take on whether I liked an episode or thought it fell flat. these are more of rambles than actual reviews, so I'm not even trying to offer anything besides my opinion

<EVERYBODY COME ON>!

1: Live with the Flow, Baby

this isn't my favourite episode, but it does something very important: it catches your attention. it very quickly and (arguably) elegantly teaches you about how inconsequential mortality is to the crew of the Aloha Oe. this may be a strange comparison, but it reminds me a lot of Ichigo Mashimaro Episode 0 in terms of tone

I forgot just how funny this show was. improved immensely by watching it on a couch with others, so that no slapstick or animation gag goes un-giggled-at

in isolation, this is a very okay episode. as the first episode tasked with easing people into a very weird show, it does its job well

2: The Search for the Phantom Space Ramen, Baby

I may be a bit biased in saying this, because there's a memory attached to this episode, but this is one of my favourites of early season 1. Meow is a very charismatic character who would be completely insufferable if not for Dandy, and the same is true in reverse

the martial arts homage in this episode is fantastic, even if it feels a bit like a red herring for Cowboy Bebop fans in the same way as the woolongs are

you also start seeing the existential themes emerging which become the show's bread and butter later on. this is an episode I'd consider "essential" to understanding the tone of Space Dandy

3: Occasionally Even the Deceiver Is Deceived, Baby

an incredibly funny episode. I remember people making a big deal out of this back when the series first aired, with plenty of people dropping it outright (as was the fashion at the time) because it seemed like it was going to be an ecchi comedy

all that said, there's so many visual gags in this episode. it feels weird to try and fine-comb what makes these early episodes good, given how obvious it is: they're not afraid to be silly and have fun

I'm being very gentle on the first few episodes because opening for a show like Space Dandy before anything was really established had to be brutal

4: Sometimes You Can't Live with Dying, Baby

the first time I saw this episode, as it was airing, I still hadn't realised how the show was going to be formatted. the second half felt like a kick in the ribs that I didn't fully recover from until several episodes later, when I finally stopped trying to figure out how the zombie thing resolved

this episode is a little bit of a dud to me, despite the hilarious second half, because it's just not all that interesting. even so, a middling episode of Space Dandy still beats [checks what else was on at the time] ah, yeah, that's why I don't remember much about this season besides the four series I watched at the time

what do you want me to say about it? it's the zombie episode. it's fine. I could take or leave it

5: A Merry Companion Is a Wagon in Space, Baby

I've spent years singing this episode's praises. I watched it three times when it came out. can you imagine how scared I was about the off chance I'd see it on the rewatch and find it lost its luster? the good news is, it didn't. I still got a little choked up

A Merry Companion stands so strongly that it could have existed outside of Space Dandy as its own series. fortunately, it doesn't have to. for my money, this is the best episode of the entire series.

and what a needle drop! the montage of Dandy and Adélie travelling to Want to Know has some of the best vibes (for lack of a better word) the series ever clicks together

heartfelt, melancholy, and sincere. paced like a delicious meal that leaves you wanting nothing. peak television. this is the episode where Dandy becomes really likeable beyond surface level novelty

6: The War of the Undies and Vests, Baby

this episode has one of the "dudes rock" moments of all time when Dandy and Meow are arbitrarily assigned sides in a pointless conflict and immediately start beating each other up for reasons they don't understand. this episode would be a dud to me if it weren't so funny

...and if it didn't have that finale.

regardless of how you feel about the entire plot of this episode being designed to anticlimax and set the stage for the Stardust Pipeline needle drop, it's a great needle drop, so it's hard to feel too grouchy about that

of course, maybe that's the point? Space Dandy is about nonsequiturs and going with the flow, so this episode actually conveys that philosophy really well. a passing grade, if only on technicality

7: A Race in Space Is Dangerous, Baby

I like death races. I like bishies. I like homoeroticism, and I like rock organ solos. these are all things you should know about me before you get upset that I really enjoyed this episode.

the sheer quantity of colourful fun in this episode is unbelievable. it's incoherent, it doesn't say much, but it stuck the landing for me. this episode is quintessential Space Dandy, distilled... for better and worse! but that's part of why I like it

also Dandy symbolically tops a twink in this episode and it's not subtext. lot to unpack there.

8: The Lonely Pooch Planet, Baby

a rare case where the second half of the episode being so irreverent actually does detract from the first half. this is another episode where we get to see the heart behind Space Dandy, and then we get a diversion into an (admittedly funny) slapstick plot

this one doesn't really stick with me as much as it should, given how gorgeous the animation is. I don't think they needed to change the format, but I'm not sure they chose the correct second half for this one

this episode, to me, falls flat. sadly.

9: Plants Are Living Things, Too, Baby

inconsolable. this episode is every bit as insane as I remembered.

looping back around to the criticism I made of episode 8, this episode doesn't even have a pivot. it's just a weird enough concept to feel confident in riding it out until the end

and you know what? it works. I got emotional over some faceless plants.

heartfelt, beautiful, and of course, lots of fun. this episode is a treat and it would be a disservice to try and fail to articulate every reason why

10: There's Always Tomorrow, Baby

I completely forgot the lesbian twist and almost threw up laughing. this episode manages to combine quiet beauty and batshit humour seamlessly, with a universally understandable emotional thread. Meow becomes a significantly more likeable character for having this context

and credit where it's due, the lesbian gag is really good. it doesn't feel mean-spirited and is careful to ensure that the joke comes off as "Meow realises that he never asked if his crush was actually into him" instead of "Katie is a lesbian and this is Meow's divine punishment for abandoning his friends"

the Endless Eight homage is cute, too. this, in all honesty, feels like the first episode to engage fully with the themes that would define season 2

11: I'm Never Remembering You, Baby

do you ever feel like you're willingly calling yourself an idiot online and nobody's even paying you to do it? that's how I feel saying that this episode is just okay to me.

the concept of the librarian is extremely creative, along with the library planet and the way it works. it just doesn't do as much for me as the more colourful episodes

12: Nobody Knows the Chameleon Alien, Baby

big fan of this episode. there are so many amazing gags in it that you'd be doing yourself a disservice by watching it alone

with that praise delivered, it's a really straightforward concept and I'm not sure what I can say about it. it's funny that QT gets really into fishing for tsuchinoko, it's funny that the chameleonian disguises itself as a random guy, it's funny that they have a game show

it's a funny episode. I like the jokes, and that's a perfectly fine way to be a good episode

13: Even Vacuum Cleaners Fall in Love, Baby

I fully believe this episode started as a post-it note. the concept of "a vacuum cleaner falls in love with a coffee maker that gets thrown away" just feels like that. what a sweet episode, though

some wild sakuga in this one for a character who doesn't really lend to sakuga. the novelty of seeing QT engage in mecha combat elevated the finale of this episode

this is also a pretty nice continuation of the plot thread where our trio has to come to accept that not everyone is available to them. just like with Katie, there's plenty of obvious foreshadowing that QT is missing something

[blackberreh-art]

Hi Berreh! What made Zuru cut his hair and choose the beads he wears after being saved by Croc? And is He merely following Croc cause croc saved him or is Zuru following him for another reason?

Hi hi :3c this got long sorry ashudkasuh

A lot of what i've gotten down for the two of them are kind of incoherent ramblings that I need to go through and write properly, but the gist is -

Zuru follows Croc because he lost sight of his goals (can you even call it a dream, he wonders? When he compares his 'dream' to the Strawhats' dreams it seems very inconsequential) and Crocodile presents... a good alternative? To simply drifting around, lost, chasing something that he'll probably never find?

(He's searching for his parents. A father he doesnt remember, and a Mother - scarred, *strong*, just *gone* one day in search of the man who abandoned them. But he's been looking for so long now, and he got his friends killed, so maybe... maybe he should give up...) (Crocodile knows very well what it's like to abandon one's dreams - one's purpose.)

It's while Zuru is with Crocodile that he's given the chance to heal, and regain the passion for his goal - even if it is slow going, and painful, and his self worth issues are worse than they ever were.

"If you're going to stay on my ship then you need to make yourself useful." Crocodile told him once the bandages have come off. "I won't have you getting in the way." And Crocodile doesn't have a big crew with him. Just Daz. A few others. but Zuru takes to them easily enough, makes himself useful in small ways - time passes, he learns to control his devil fruit, he makes himself useful, he makes himself a complete nuisance to Croc and worms his way into his dusty, barren heart. Croc starts to rebuild his connections. Zuru starts to feel, just a bit, like he belongs. Half a year into Zuru traveling with Crocodile, he asks Daz to cut his hair. He doesn't feel like its symbolic of anything, not really - but when the hair is gone it feels like a weight off his shoulders that he hadn't realized he'd been carrying. His steps are lighter - he looks forwards to the coming days.

Later, they dock at a decently sized island with a large city. The crew's sent on a supply run, Zuru follows along behind Crocodile who's looking for information on something or another. They pass through a market, because you can hear a lot of interesting things at the market for the right price, and Zuru stops at a stall when a flash of blue catches his eye. The stall boasts trinkets from Wano of all places - which is complete bullshit, because the island is cut off from the world and few ever get there or leave. But he sees it, and is reminded of his mother's stories, and his eyes linger on it.

The blue is the same shade he remembers his mum's eyes being. Its silly, but he wants it.

But with a sigh he moves on.

Its later that night, back on the ship, when Daz approaches with a small package and tosses it to him. Zuru blinks down at it in surprise. "Ah - what-?" "From the boss." Is all Daz says, and when Zuru opens it and sees the beads he stills. (Crocdile is blessed with silence and no invasions in his cabin that night. The next morning however he's barrelled over by a large weasel with blue beads around his neck and a cheerful, 'Good morning, Croco-chan~', and he would never admit to the swell of pleasure he feels at the greeting.)

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

isabelle's gonna make a personal post about her life, this is of interest to like 5 of you, everyone else can leave

anyways. sometimes i am in genuine awe of the people in my life who live with and experience the ways my bpd manifests and still stick it out. i don't mean that to put myself down or say i'm a burden or a bad person or don't deserve love etc. etc., because i'm going to give myself a rare bit of credit here and say that i have put massive amounts of effort into the slow work of learning how to manage it and communicate about it, and i honestly think i do pretty fucking well with it most of the time (especially compared to even a couple years ago).

i just mean in the sense that i *know* how hard it is sometimes. i'm obviously there for all my breakdowns and mood swings, and i at least have the luxury of experiencing directly what's happening in my head while they happen. these other people have had to learn how to navigate these extreme and incoherent feelings that can change on a dime without that benefit of an explanatory (if irrational) interior monologue. it's not an easy thing to sit and talk to me when i'm in the kind of despondent, irritable, uncooperative state i can get to when things get bad. pretty much all of the people i'm really close to have experienced at least one instance of me attempting to sabotage and abandon our relationship because of something that would be for anyone else a minor argument or disagreement or misunderstanding.

it's amazing that they have the care and forgiveness to continue to love and work with me on these things despite all of that, and i'm inexpressibly grateful to them and for them for taking the time and effort to learn how to communicate with me when things go south, to know the signs and common triggers, and to sit with the painful emotions my actions can cause. and maybe most importantly, i'm amazed and feel so thankful when they see and acknowledge that i'm trying, and that they recognize when i do better than i have in the past. i like to think that's part of the reason the people i'm close to are willing to put in that work, because they do see that i care, and that i put into action things we talk about. they let me be proud of a lot of things i might feel silly or ashamed about being proud of otherwise. it means a lot when someone says they're proud of you for asking for help, for not running away from pain that despite its inconsequential trigger feels overwhelming.

i constantly feel when i write a lot of words the urge to sum up or conclude decisively (it's the dormant essayist in me i suppose), but i don't really have one here. was just thinking about the people in my life i love, and how amazing and strong and kind they are for navigating what i know and acknowledge is an at times difficult and frustrating and painful relationship. and i'm proud of myself every time i vindicate the trust and care they put in me by doing just a bit better than last time.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (Mirkin, 1997)

A few months ago I got an invitation for a 10th anniversary reunion gathering for my undergrad, and after being bombarded with dozens of Whatsapp messages over the course of a couple of hours, I made the very wise decision to put the chat on mute. I had no interest in going, as the thing reeked of a fundraising opportunity, and I had too much negative baggage from not fitting in with my classmates and not having had very many friends at the time, on top of feeling totally unsupported by my university with respect to the job hunt. So I had no real interest in going to something to talk to a bunch of people I didn’t like while likely being hit up for money for a program that was already pretty well funded. Yet I did find myself checking the chat for updates periodically, so I suppose I hadn’t totally quashed a certain curiosity about how others were doing.

Over the years, I’ve learned to not worry about comparing myself to others and be happy with where I am professionally and personally. And at least in the former, I think I’m doing pretty okay. I work in a field where I ostensibly use my education, and my current role at least has been pretty tolerable in most respects. But when I log in to my Linkedin periodically (anywhere from a couple of months to over a year, the longest stretch having been the time I made two years worth of job updates to my profile), and notice some of the fancy titles of people I went to school with, and a certain pang of inadequacy arises. It’s silly, I have no interest in pursuing another role or drastically changing my career path at this time, but I suppose such feelings are unavoidable and one of the reasons I avoid logging in for long periods of time in the first place.

A lot of movies about high school and college are about the value of the experiences one undergoes in those years, and I often feel at a bit of a disconnect, as quite frankly, I didn’t have a lot of the same experiences (the side effects of being an antisocial weirdo and an outsider in multiple respects). So I appreciate that this movie serves as a kind of dark matter coming of age movie, that it channels the absence of those experiences, the resulting feelings of inadequacy of not having kept up with all the expected life and career milestones, and the way long-term, fulfilling friendships can still bloom and survive without those things.

So the movie does offer a fair bit of wisdom and insight on top of being an engaging comedy. To take a few words from Roger Ebert:

“Comedies are hard to make well. The proof is in how many are made badly. This one is light as a feather and cheerfully inconsequential, and most of the developments are predictable, but it has charm, a sly intelligence, and the courage to go for special effects sequences such as a weird run-in with a limo. And then there's that three-way dance number at the reunion. I can't believe how cute they look. Honest.”

Listen, you fill the soundtrack with Devo, the Go-Gos, Bananarama, and I’m already having a good time. But this was also made when they still shot these things on film and bothered to light them, and has costumes in eyepopping colours and dark brooding ones as well. It is astute about the ways clothing can either mask or express one’s personality, and the extent to which it can do either one. The heroine’s business suits are less convincing than their shiny dresses, and Janeane Garofalo’s all black getup better serves her sarcastic demeanour than the cute mango print foisted on her in the coda. It’s also astute about the ways a movie can reflect one’s beauty, with none other than Alan Cumming undergoing two transformations in ways that slyly satirize the makeover trope common in the genre. And while it is occasionally glib (I think a better movie would have extended its generous gaze onto the mean girl and mined her for depth), there is a genuine warmth in the friendship between the heroines and some of the other characters too.

[ihonestlydunnowhattocallmyself]

Thoughts on twenty thousand leagues under the sea

chapter 12-24:I found this portion of the book very entertaining except for a certain chapter which I'll get to later on. I especially just love Ned Land's and Conseil's relationship. Its just funny to see all their banter. Especially when the ships windows are opened for the first time and Ned recognizes all the names of the fish and whether they are edible or not while Conseil classifies them. Its just so silly and funny. I also just like how this ends up being a recurring character quirk for Ned Land since it makes him more likeable as a character in my opinion.I also really liked their first sea floor excursion and the equipment used, it really feels like good world building and I do think that it really did help lied down the foundations of hard sci fi which I can appreciate especially since it just feels so cool to have the characters ask purely scientific questions and get highly scientific answers. There's just something so satisfying to it even if it might be wrong now, it just makes it feel much more authentic. I also just like how it gives away so many details for the animals and plants. It is surely a must read for those interested in marine life and the ocean.

chapter 22:Getting to the problem chapter. This one is just heavily racist. If you ever plan to read the book just skip this chapter. Especially if you are triggered by that stuff. It is really an inconsequential chapter from the seems of thing too. The only other thing I can say about this chapter is that I find it interesting how Nemo implies every land dwelling human is a 'savage' in some way.

[carterreviewsmovies]

Mio fratello rincorre i dinosauri (2019) Review

My Brother Chases Dinosaurs (Mio fratello rincorre i dinosauri)

Directed by Stefano Cipani

Year Released: 2019

Duration: 101 Minutes

Video: Colour

Audio: Stereo

Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1

Embarrassment from one’s family is a certainty in life. Whether it be due to an overly proud parent or the obnoxiousness of a younger sibling, the feeling of embarrassment from these moments is quickly fleeting and largely inconsequential. While being unimportant in the grand scheme, in some instances we resort to deplorable stratagems to evade these small moments of shame due to our insecurities.

My Brother Chases Dinosaurs explores one of such instances. The film follows Jack Mazzariol (Francesco Gheghi), a young boy in a family of six and his relationship with his younger brother Gio (Lorenzo Sisto) who has Down’s Syndrome. Growing up, Jack had been made to believe by his parents that Gio was “special” in the way that he had superpowers. This little white lie seems inconsequential until Jack discovers the truth about Gio’s condition. This causes Jack to become outright ashamed of his brother whom he once idolized, and he begins to live two separate lives. His life at home with his family and Gio, and a life in which he denies Gio’s existence entirely.

Being based on the true story of Giacomo Mazzariol, My Brother Chases Dinosaurs is a confession of guilt. It is an admittance of falling victim to childlike insecurities and ignorance, but it is also a plea for understanding. While the lengths Jack goes to distance himself from his brother are inexcusable Francesco Gheghi’s performance brings a sense of sympathy to where the character is coming from. Jack’s shame was in himself, not in Gio. He felt ashamed for believing something so silly as his brother being a superhero, ashamed for proudly telling everyone that Gio has powers. But more than that, Jack internalized the insecurities and fears being projected by his parents Davide (Alessandro Gassmann) and Katia (Isabella Ragonese). Naturally, Davide and Katia are fearful of the uncertainty that comes with raising a child, let alone one with a disability, but initially discuss the situation so coldly. Davide suggests if they knew sooner, they could have “warned” people. Jack attempts to leave behind the naivety of his youth but ends up more ignorant than before. To err is human, especially in the haze of youth and trying to find one’s own identity and path, but that does not mean it goes without consequence.

Jack changes everything about himself, his look, his attitude, and his interests, his best friend Vitto (Roberto Nocchi) doesn’t even recognize him anymore. He does this all out of a deep yearning to be accepted, to escape the “special” circumstances his family is in. He’s guarded and fearful of connection, his soul is stiff almost unhuman, almost robotic. This is reflected in some wonderful sequences with Jack and Gio playing music together. Jack follows sheet music and theory religiously whereas Gio plays what he wants regardless of musical coherency. Gio juxtaposes Jack’s stiffness with the uninhibited whimsy of doing what you want when you want. Gio shows us everything beautiful in otherwise mundane circumstances, like feeding a waffle to a t-rex skull. He pursues what will make him happy without hesitation. Whereas Jack is more concerned with conformity and the pursuit of a “normal life”.  It is easy to sit and criticize Jack’s actions, but at one time or another, we have all done something regrettable when our fragile egos are at risk.

My Brother Chases Dinosaurs is funny, sweet, frustrating, and most importantly human. We are imperfect beings and part of growing up is making mistakes, some small, some catastrophic, but what’s important is learning from them. It’s also important to realize that those who love you will always be there in the end.

[bl00dw1tch]

Wait im sorry. I need to talk about witchcraft real fast

First of all; magic and science are one in the same, always have been always will be, so jot that down.

The line between the two is ever fluctuating and drawn by whether or not it invokes WONDER and if you ENJOY and REVEL!!! In that wonder.

Magic, as i am talking about it right now (the spell jars and the cord cuttings and all the shit those witchtokers are doing) still follows the laws of physics! Those spells DO NOT WORK ~MAGICALLY~! They are a TOOL to help you steer your focus and keep that focus ENGAGED on what it is you are trying to achieve!

Tell me--what is going to be more effective at helping you get money.

A.) Endlessly scouring job listing sites for a better paying job because thats the Logical way to get more money.

Or B.) Doing a silly little money spell on a full moon, all dressed up and maybe a little inebriated with candles and herbs, singing a silly like chant or just straight us putting on a Song like "money money money money money money money money money money motherfucker -- Money on my motherfuckin m i n d"--all of which puts the *search for money* quest on your mind in a POSITIVE and fun challenge light--where before you know you, like after learning a new word for the first time, you start seeing opportunities pop up everywhere! Your friend mentioned their work place is short staffed! You go to your favorite game store and chat with the clerk about it and he says hes been thinking about hiring someone if your interested! You suddenly get a few asks about you potentially doing commissions!!!

Magic is not about ACTUALLY changing the world around you its about opening your eyes to SEE THINGS MORE CLEARLY, MORE BRIGHTLY, MORE WONDEROUSLY!!! Coincidences are beautiful!!!!! Coincidences are something to be treasured and looked upon fondly, not disregarded as something "mere" or inconsequential!!!!

Every society in the world every culture every human EVERYONE!!!!!! fucking believed in magic once upon a time!!! We used ethereal heavenly mystical words to describe the world around us because it is WONDEROUS!!!!!!!!! And this perpetual push to demystify Everything to explain Everything to remove the soul the energy from Everything is wretched!!! It is wretched behaviour!!!

If you are talking about magic, if you are talking about science, it doesn't matter--don't brush it off as "not that special". Dont let yourself say "whatever, its just what it is".

Let yourself be dazzled by it. Let yourself engage with it in excitement and openness and delight. I am so fucking serious. Endeavor to incorporate Wonder into your daily life. Let yourself feel the magic of being alive.

[randomoranges]

the real question is will i finish this au before 2023 lol. theres one part left. it’s an epilogue too. so like. lol.

rock band au  part 43

--

 Edward had been a fool to think, even for just one moment, that Étienne would remain a permanent part of his day to day forever. The fact that he’d been able to get this much time with him was a damn miracle and he knew he shouldn’t be greedy, but Edward had gotten used to this strange roommate of his. Had even – developed feelings for him.

 Unfortunately, as the saying went, all good things came to an end, and so, as it happened, somewhere at the start of June, it was time for Étienne to head back to Montréal.

 Étienne would have stayed, or so he said, but the band’s manager had booked them a few park gigs back in the city. Something about giving the citizens a bit of joy after such a bleak spring. The concerts were outside and people would be socially distanced, but for as much as there was an option for concertgoers to see the show online, the band members needed to be present. Therefore, Étienne had to leave.

 Étienne had been excited to perform with his band mates again, but it meant that he had to head back home. And so, he’d purchased a return ticket and had packed up his things.

 “The place looks empty without all your stuff...” Edward played with the hem of his shirt while he looked around. Gone was the sheet music and the keyboard. Étienne’s sweatshirts were neatly folded and packed. His notebooks were stored away and every other little inconsequential item had been placed in its appropriate spot. It was almost as if he’d never been here.

 Edward didn’t want to imagine what it would be like once Étienne would be gone for good. Sure, it would be nice to have his space and quiet again, but – Étienne had been a good distraction and he wasn’t sure he wanted him gone. Edward wasn’t sure he could deal with his empty couch and emptier bed after so many weeks spent together.

 The man may have told him that he was willing to give whatever it was they were doing a shot, but it would be different with the distance. Étienne would return to his old life, would be surrounded with far more interesting people and – he would forget about him.

 Or – so Edward thought.

 “Think of it this way, you’ll be able to put back all your Les Maisons Neuves merch back on the walls.” Étienne grinned, pleased with himself and Edward rolled his eyes at him from his spot on the couch. Soon, they would get dressed to head to the airport, but – there were a few minutes left. A few more minutes where they could stretch this out.

 “Don’t let fame get to your head. I have other obsessions.”

 “Maybe, but I have it on good authority that I’m your current one.” As if to prove his point, Étienne draped himself over Edward’s shoulders and nuzzled the crook of his neck, before leaving a kiss or two. Edward may have flushed something fierce, but he took a hold of Étienne’s arms and gave his wrists a gentle squeeze.

 “Be careful, please...” He cautioned even though he’d told himself he wouldn’t – make a big deal out of Étienne’s departure. That he would keep his emotions to himself and break down once Étienne couldn’t see him anymore.

 “Promise.” Étienne reassured him, soft and sweet.  

 There were so many things he still wanted to tell Étienne; yet all the words died at the back of Edward’s throat and turned into tears that threatened to spill. His friend wasn’t going far even – they could still talk all the time, or almost. He was being silly and he knew it, yet the only thing he wanted to do was curl up in Étienne’s arms and let him hold him close.

 “And I promise this isn’t goodbye forever.” Étienne started softly, as if being able to read the worries that lingered in his mind, “I’ll be back to bother you before you know it. I’ll call you so often that you’ll run out of things to tell me.” He paused and simply held him for a moment, “I’ll write so many more songs just for you that you’ll eventually understand how much you mean to me.”

 Edward shifted and turned around, fully aware that his eyes were a watery mess, but he didn’t care. His time with Étienne was counted and therefore, he pulled Étienne down and held him as close as physically possible to him. He furrowed his face in his friend’s chest and tried to commit the sound of his beating heart and the scent of his body to his mind, before that too would feel like nothing but a distant dream.  

 “Just – promise me you’ll come back. That’s all I need.” As long as he could have this again, he would be fine.

Étienne held him just as close and maybe it was his imagination, but he swore he felt him tremble.

“I’ll be back before you know it.”

--

PREVIOUS: XXXXII

CURRENT: XXXXIII

NEXT: XXXXIV