#it's still quite a bit upsetting

[grandmaster-anne]

19 September 2022 State Funeral of Queen Elizabeth II at Westminster Abbey © ITN

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[sysig]

Twin skeletons need twin carriers (Patreon)

[jtl-fics]

PREV

Aaron likes FF.

He’s a good friend to have and he’s been doing Aaron a huge favor this semester by tutoring Katelyn in German. He’d tried to tutor her but his teaching style and her learning had not been very compatible and it had been leading to some fighting between the two of them. Nicky had been the one to suggest that FF was a pretty good teacher and he wouldn’t take any sort of advantage of the inherent romantic setting of being a tutor (whatever the hell that meant).

FF was a good tutor.

Aaron liked to hang out while Katelyn and FF had their tutoring sessions and FF’s gaze never strayed down from Katelyn’s face when he was talking to her. He gave her German children’s books that he himself had used to better understand the written language and Aaron quite enjoyed the nights he spent over at Katelyns where she’d clumsily make her way through them as they were winding down for bed.

There were other things to like about FF.

He liked how FF could disagree with him without fighting with him. He liked how FF had the confidence to just leave any situation he didn’t like. He liked how FF sang to himself when he was distracted (he had a pretty good voice). He liked how FF could watch horror movies without blinking. He liked how he could sit in easy silence with FF and the two of them could just do their own thing. He liked how bad FF was at video games.

He liked how FF never confused Aaron for Andrew no matter what they were wearing or if they were aiming to confuse people. FF never said how he managed it when even Matt and Nicky got them confused every once in a while but FF never failed to know which twin he was talking to. He also played along when they were going about messing with the other non-FF freshmen by vacating the area instead of alerting anyone to them having switched.

(Aaron is completely unaware of an entirely uncomfortable talk that Nicky has had with FF where he asked FF how he could tell Andrew and Aaron apart. The answer was that initially Aaron always had a very tiny pen mark on his ear somewhere because he had a habit of putting his pen behind his ear. The answer in the long run was that they stood slightly differently and Andrew had a wrinkle that Aaron didn’t. Nicky had asked why FF was looking so closely at his cousins, “Well, I thought that Andrew might swap with Aaron at some point to lure me into a false sense of security and then he’d kill me.” FF answers unaware of why Nicky went still, “I realize now that Andrew isn’t like that.” FF had rushed to assure.

“Yeah…” Nicky had said awkwardly.

“Really, I honestly don’t think Andrew would pretend to be Aaron to kill someone.” FF had said again.)

The thing Aaron probably liked the most though was how happy his cousin was to have someone who was ‘his’ person. Andrew had Kevin and Neil, Aaron had Katelyn, and now Nicky had FF. They were hardly separate from the other Foxes nowadays and they roomed with Matt but there was always a difference for their group between ‘family’ and ‘friend’. FF was someone that Nicky had claimed as family and they had all agreed.

Aaron also enjoyed watching how Andrew and Neil both couldn’t fully comprehend how FF had ended up as Nicky’s when they had both made quite a few efforts. Nicky had always just shrugged and said that they’d understand when they were older before heading off to go see FF at Abby’s house as if the rest of them weren’t following right behind him.

FF was healing nicely and would be moving back into the dorms in the next week or so but he still spent a fair bit of time in Aaron’s room. He had heard Nicky talking to Wymack about possibly having him moved into their room which Aaron wouldn’t mind even if it mean that he’d have to do the ‘Smith Shout’ more frequently.

The ‘Smith Shout’ entails walking into rooms that you thought were empty but theoretically they could also contain FF. If you didn’t mind a minor heart attack later then you didn’t need to complete the ‘Smith Shout’ but if you were perhaps…interested in making out with your beautiful girlfriend?

The ‘Smith Shout’ was a must, they were all trying to get better about the levels of hanky and panky that FF was subjected to just because they failed to realize he was right there.

FF never made a big deal about it but it always felt embarrassing when they heard the click of the door as FF left the room they were making out in.

There was no need for the ‘Smith Shout’ today as FF was helping Katelyn with some basic vocabulary and going over conversations and pronunciation with her. Aaron was sitting nearby going over some micro-biology homework when they heard a door slam open down the hall, pounding foot steps, and then their door slammed open to reveal a pale-faced Kevin

“Kevin, what-“

Kevin shushed Aaron before he could ask what was wrong and came into the room and shut the door with shaking hands. His phone was held in his right hand so tightly that his knuckles were white from the strain.

“Lord Moriyama just called me.” Kevin said shaking badly enough that Aaron wondered if he should guide the Striker over to their couch so that he could sit. “He…he let me know that he’s dropped the percentage I owe him to 65%” Kevin’s gaze slid to FF who was sat at the desks with Katelyn still. “He…he said to give you his…regards?” He says.

Aaron’s own gaze whips to FF.

“Ok.” FF says with an awkward shrug.

Aaron almost laughs at the lack of response but he holds it in unsure of how Kevin would take it.

“Kevin, it’s a good thing right?” Aaron says instead.

Kevin looks at him and nods frantically, “Yes. It’s a good thing.” He agrees. “35% makes things so much…so much easier.” Kevin says his shoulders sagging and it always bothers Aaron when he thinks about the deal that Kevin and Neil live under. He knows that Andrew has only been even listening to offers over a certain amount since he plans on helping Neil.

“I’m glad.” FF offers before turning back to Katelyn, “Ok, have you finished reading that book I gave you last week?” He asks apparently more interested in tutoring than in what Lord Moriyama had to say to Kevin.

“Oh, yes!” Katelyn agrees.

Kevin looks at them and Aaron has known Kevin long enough to recognize when he’s thinking about something. He even knows him well enough to sense when he’s thinking about something irritating.

Kevin leaves the room though so Aaron figures that it will be someone else’s problem.

He is, unfortunately, incorrect.

45 minutes later Kevin bursts into the room again and grabs Aaron, “I need your help with something.” He says, hands cold around Aaron’s wrist, and before Aaron can complain he is being dragged out of his room and into the room his brother shares with Neil and Kevin.

“Kevin, what the hell?” Aaron complains finally managing to pull himself out of Kevin’s grasp.

“I’m going to take control of Smith’s recovery.” Kevin says as if that was a normal thing to say, “Lord Moriyama wished him a speedy recovery and…and I owe him.” Kevin admits.

“You don’t need to take control of Smith’s recovery to thank him. You could just thank him?” Aaron points out the obvious answer but as per usual very few members of the Foxes were amiable to hearing the simple solutions that Aaron offered.

“No this is better. He’ll appreciate it more than just a simple thank you.” Kevin dismissed, “Now, do you think I should start with basic protein or more vitamin based smoothies for his recovery?” Kevin asks and only now does Aaron see the grocery bags of fruits, vegetables, and various other things littering the kitchen.

Why the fuck was everyone on this team so damn weird?

It was 20 minutes of Aaron trying to wrangle Kevin away from the weirdest combinations. The only thing that made him feel better was the knowledge that Josten was going to see all of these veggies and probably hiss like a vampire as he backed away from the fridge.

Still, 20 soul crushing minutes and they had a green beverage sitting in the blender that Josten had bought the room his sophomore year for Kevin. “I’ll be asking you and Katelyn for assistance on this project.” Kevin says.

“No thanks.” Aaron says exhausted from the last 20 minutes.

“Then I’ll just do it alone.” Kevin says and Aaron thinks about the various things that Kevin had wanted to put into the smoothie, thinks of FF tutoring Katelyn without asking for anything, and how FF had lied to protect Aaron’s brother even from federal agents when he had nothing to do with the mess of two years ago.

Fuck.

“Fine, I’ll help.” He grits out because he couldn’t leave FF to the nutritional whims of Kevin Day. He already feels bad enough about the drink that FF is about to be subjected to but he can at least stop Kevin from crushing actual multi-vitamins into the drinks and claiming it would make for good ‘texture’.

They come back to the room and Aaron hears Katelyn and FF talking about a new smoothie place that might be good for FF to try, “…have a peanut butter and banana one that would probably be easy on your stomach.” He hears her say unaware of the monstrosity Aaron has just had a hand in creating.

“No need for that.” Kevin says confidence unshaken and undeserved as puts a glass of green juice down in front of FF. “Drink that.” He says.

Aaron is immediately filled with a desperate desire to both apologize and slap the glass out of Kevin’s hand. Inevitable stained carpet be damned.

“Sure.” FF says as he takes hold of the glass.

It feels as Aaron watches it happen in slow motion. He sees Katelyn’s own revolted face and wishes he could tell her that this really was the best he could do in terms of saving FF. FF, unaware of Aaron’s inner turmoil, takes a sip of the green beverage full of Kale, spinach, sprouts, protein powder (plain), and some crazy Chinese health supplement that Kevin swore by but smelled vaguely alcoholic despite Kevin’s INSISTENCE that it was not.

“I know alcohol, this isn’t alcohol.” Kevin had said and honestly it was hard to argue with that logic.

FF brought it to his lips and drank it.

Aaron felt like he should have gotten a garbage bin ready but instead he watches on in horrified awe as FF drains the entire nightmarish glass.

“Cauliflower?” FF asks as he wipes the remnants of the smoothie off of his upper lip.

Aaron’s head whipped towards Kevin who was smiling as he accepted the glass back from Smith, “I’m surprised you would notice.” He says visibly pleased even as Aaron bristles.

“How the fuck did you put cauliflower in there, I was watching you.” He hisses.

“Katelyn texted you, I put it in then.” Kevin shrugs.

Aaron regrets nothing.

***

Kevin continued to hand FF bizarre healthy combinations of fruits, vegetables, and god knows what. Aaron and Katelyn did their best to keep Kevin from going too wild with his purchases but Kevin on a mission was a difficult thing to stop.

It didn’t help that FF accepted any and everything that Kevin handed to him without a single flinch. As far as Aaron knew FF didn’t even know that Kevin had decided to take control of his recovery and diet for the foreseeable future.

He had been making a run to buy Katelyn some tampons when he found FF in the stomach pain aisle looking between a two-pack or an extra large bottle of Pepto Bismol. “Smiths, if Kevin’s god awful smoothies are hurting your stomach you can just tell him.” Aaron says as he drags FF out of the aisle knowing that Pepto Bismol would not be good. “You can’t take anything with aspirin. Nicky had me read your care instructions to him in plain English I know.” He says.

FF didn’t say anything as he let himself be dragged to the register where the girl there seemed surprise that FF wasn’t buying anything. “Nothing for you?” She asks looking at FF.

FF nodded, “Nothing for me.” He agrees.

“I’m glad! You deserve it!” She says smiling as if she hadn’t just said something that felt wildly rude to say to a customer.

Aaron grabbed FF by the arm, scowled at the cashier, and dragged him out.

“They don’t hurt my stomach. I ended up there more on auto-pilot than anything.” FF says and Aaron remembers the conversation they had been having in the stomach relief section. “I think what I had yesterday was a bit too much.” He admits and Aaron rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything else.

Kevin’s nagging about their health had gotten a combination of better and worse since FF had started accepting the smoothies without comment.

Better because now Kevin had someone who he could unleash his full overbearing nature on and who didn’t seem to even care or notice just doing as Kevin ordered. Worse because now Kevin had a taste of what it was like for one of them to follow his orders.

This building irritation had lead to Josten and Andrew grabbing FF before he could be ambushed by Kevin for his usual lunch smoothie and drag him off to an off campus Deli that they both liked. Josten had probably wanted to feel just a little bit superior to the multi-lingual Freshman since it was a Russian Deli where the owner only really got what you ordered if you did it in Russian. It had happened on the day where at morning practice Kevin had implied that FF would be a better protege since he listened while Neil continued to refuse vegetables.

He could just imagine Josten offering to order for FF.

What an asshole.

He remembers coming into the room the day previous and finding them dumping the contents of a styrofoam bowl into the blender. “What is that?” Aaron had asked.

“Borscht.” Josten answered.

“Why are you putting it in a blender?” Aaron asks knowing that Josten didn’t have an ounce of social awareness.

“So Smith can eat it?” Josten said back to him slowly as if Aaron was the idiot between the two of them.

“Does Kevin know?” Aaron had asked

“Kevin can’t bitch, there’s plenty of vegetables in there.” Josten said with absolute certainty.

Kevin can, in fact, bitch.

“Andrew ordered the borscht for me.” FF says as they continue towards the dorms interrupting Aaron from his memory. “It was good, it was just too much. Like what Kevin said yesterday.” He adds.

Aaron can’t believe Josten is so opposed to ordering vegetables that he made Andrew order FF’s food for him.

What an asshole.

***

“A leash. I will find the largest child leash I can get and I will put it on you. Smithy, what the fuck.” Nicky bitches as they made their way out into the crisp December air. “I can’t believe you fell asleep and we almost left you again.” Nicky adds. “My sweet baby boy,

Aaron thinks his cousin is being over dramatic.

FF could walk back from the Fox stadium to the tower on his own just fine. He was a big boy no matter how many times Nicky claimed him to be his ‘sweet little baby boy’.

“I’m not your baby. Don’t call me that.” FF grumbles through his yawn sounding very much like a cranky little baby.

“Maybe stay awake through the game and I’ll consider it.” Nicky teases.

“The game was boring enough to play let alone just having to sit and watch.” Kevin says and it was only because Kevin had his ‘post-game’ smoothie for FF to drink that they realized he wasn’t there before they left the stadium. “We can hardly blame Smiths for falling asleep.” Kevin shrugs elated by the win but disappointed in the competition. “Drink your smoothie Smiths.” He says and FF went back to sipping at the unknown concoction, “The tart cherries and avocado should help you go to sleep when we get back to Abby's.” He says as if that combination was a natural one.

“Tart Cherries and Avocado?” Josten asks in obvious disgust.

“They’re-“

“Hey, Granny Boy!” Came a shout that interrupted Kevin’s explanation.

Usually, anything that interrupted Kevin from some going on another lecture was a good thing but Aaron, bringing up the rear, can see how FF’s posture went from relaxed to painfully alert in a matter of seconds.

“Daniel.” FF returns.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

[tracle0]

find word

Tagged by @ace-malarky wahoo to find tea, storm and cling. Tis from The Crows Death :)!

I do not have tea :(

Storm

Entirely unaware of Atlas’s pleading, Olly smiled back at their imposter. “So you’ll need a good tracker, will you?” “A good one,” their imposter agreed. How had they related to this monster earlier, allowed themselves to help them? “Shame we only have you.” “Maybe you should be asking nicer.” Their imposter grinned. “You want to come?” “He’ll die!” Atlas nearly screamed, storming to the back of the room, an overwhelming want to grasp their imposter and shake them until they snapped. They settled for grasping the edge of the sink instead. “Do you not remember, not know, what I went through?! The vines, that fog, that twisted healer? The Foxes? He’ll die out there, you can’t - I can’t - go if you want, but don’t… leave him here. Please. Please!”

Cling

The corpse clawed itself closer.  All of its details sang at Andy, eager to sear themselves into his mind. He could see the final mouldy strands of fur, clinging to yellowing bone. He could see the little curved teeth, jutting out of the front of the skull. He could see ragged muscles contract and clench as it pulled itself closer, closer, closer… Something yanked him from behind, pulling him abruptly upright by his collar – and away from the remains of the rodent.

Ew yucky yucky yuck

Tagging @albatris @kaatiba @polyaubergine nd uh @loopyhoopywrites to find snarl, whimper and brick

[frostios]

Enjoying the dlc so far but my biggest gripe. The starfall sequence that you cant turn off like you can do with the slots in the base game. So your screen is just fully filled with bright neon lights that make focusing on whatever task youre doing so much harder. Not to mention the fucking strobing if you happen to pick up the item!!!!!!!!!! I literally have to put my controller down and just wait the sequence out to be able to play. WHOS idea was this

[luvsavos]

cat behavior

[enden-k]

im sorry to hear people are stomping all over your boundaries, big props to you for sticking up for yourself and putting your foot down. I hope you're doing ok (/gen)

on another, hopefully happier note, i noticed your info post mentions that you self ship! I'd love to hear about your favourite self ships if you're comfortable talking about them some time?

i actually never did or had interest in this but then haitham waltzed in so hes the first and only one (this whole thing flusters me so its smth i indulge in for myself in private by reading or daydreaming or sometimes i babble and ramble about him very in depth)

(most hkvthm things i draw is just me going 'wish that was me' and drawing it LMFAO)

ohh also same w kaveh but in a slightly different way than haitham (theyre both the only ones) i want them to hold hands. i want them to hold my hands. there

[gemkun]

anonymous said : How often do you divide Aventurine's legs like a mathematician, Dr. Ratio?

      ⸻       there   is   a   lengthy   sigh   ,   extracted   from   the   depths   of   his   chest.   ❝   how   often   will   you   subject   my   colleague   to   these   licentious   inquiries   ?   ❞   the   only   redeeming   aspect   in   this   being   extended   to   him   —   as   opposed   to   the   one   in   question   —   is   the   assurance   that   the   gambler   is   not   bothered   by   these   ludicrous   and   frankly   vulgar   prompts.   ❝   he   is   not   a   piece   of   meat   ,   so   do   not   treat   him   as   such.   now   ,   move   along.   ❞

[youredreamingofroo]

mfs be like "ur such a loser for living with ur parents" and they're talking to an 18-21 year old

[sucrows]

Not so casual reminder to once again, not interact with me if you are a minor

Not on anon, not off anon. I don't care if you think you are mature enough to do so. I can't stop you from reading, but *please* do not try and interact with me.

It's something that genuinely makes me feel disgusting. It really kills motivation to write and answer asks.

It's a boundary, respect it.

(regular pinned)

[elialys]

Hey *waving like dumbdumb that I am :)

I have a question: I just read through your answers of the 20-question game/tag thingy, and stumbled over your Polivia "In Reverse"… now, i do absolutely adore your writing, stories and style, but before I get started with that story, i just wanted to know… is it a HEA? or are they just breaking apart, full stop? I can work and gladly read trauma and angst, but only if it has a HEA or at least a silver lining/hopeful ending…

otherwise Im just gonna dive into "Shivered Bones" again ;)

Thank youuuuuu! :D

In Reverse is a bit tricky to be honest 😅 It is known (within the group of P/O readers I had especially back then anyway) as my biggest tearjerker. The premise of the story is basically Peter and Olivia's life in that 'bleak' timeline we see in 3x22 "The Day We Died". It starts right after Olivia's death in 2026 and slowly goes back in time through each chapter until 2014, so it covers their 15 years of life together...in reverse format 😅

Does it have an HEA? Well, not exactly, because the last chapter of it (spoilers) is basically all about 'future' Peter in 2026 making the decision to change the timeline to save Olivia--which he does, erasing himself from time in the process. We know he does reappear canonically though, so it's not TRAGIC, and I tried my hardest to make it hopeful despite how bittersweet it was.

I always put a strong warning on this story though because back then, I decided to explain Peter and Olivia not having children in that future timeline by writing them almost having a child in the early years of their relationship, but the baby died near the end of Olivia's pregnancy. And all of that is written in rather sad details toward the end of the fic (and has been the cause of many many tears from me and readers😭).

That being said, although the first couple of chapters are very sad because future!Olivia is dead and Peter is grieving, and the last..3/4 chapters are quite rough because of them losing their baby, a big chunk of this fic is just...them, being in love, trying to survive in this bleak world, having their ups and downs, being domestic, and very co-dependent haha

Soooo do they break apart? No, never, although they go through hard times, but they're together through it all. I'm still extremely fond of that story, nearly 13 years later, but it is on the intense side, so it's really up to you.

No matter what you decide, thank you so much for your kind words!

[hobisexually]

x

[keeps-ache]

sigh. alright

[dutybcrne]

Even without his Vision, Kaeya is not wholly helpless.

If there was one thing he could appreciate about his father, it’s that the man raised him with full knowledge of self-defense as a child. He needed to be able to handle himself should they ever be separated, after all. Especially when it came to any Abyssal creatures they might face, or otherwise any hostile people they may encounter.

He knew all the best places to drive in a knife, what tendons to cut, how to best blind an opponent, and creatively so at that. He knew how to set traps and buy himself a precious few seconds more, how to use those said seconds in a fraction of that time. He knew how to use an opponent’s physical strength against them, how to counter someone with a Vision/elemental energy usage as best he could. To not let himself get caught so off guard no matter what, bc the moment that control was wrenched away from him, his disadvantages would be nigh insurmountable.

The man taught him to harness Abyssal energy, using a small fraction of it—no more than that, his father made him promise; never more than the necessary—to make swift little jumps through space, even to facilitate escape or victory, whichever he’d choose. In time, he would have taught him to use the elements through it too, as many Abyssal beings had done, as a particular last resort, but having been left to the Ragnvindrs’ care, he never got the chance.

Though it didn’t stop Kaeya from trying. Not wanting to be left behind after Diluc had gotten his Vision and wanting to be useful to him as his right hand, he tried his best at figuring it all out. Felt it tug at something deep inside him like a tether each time he tried, failing just as many, only managing the all too familiar wisps of Abyssal energy he was more familiar with. It was through encountering an Abyss Mage and coming in contact with the ice it conjured that he finally got a better grasp at what to do.

Only for him to realize each conjure of Abyssal energy-infused ice was nothing short of painful each time, the energy within him thrumming so much amid the curse he already bore as a Khaenri’ahn, so much so, it would frighten and dissuade him from using those abilities anyway. For a short time, at least, until he realized how well it helped in a pinch. Still, he became far more wary. Even with his desperation to try and catch up to Diluc, his father’s warning against abusing the Abyssal energy coursing within him burning brighter in mind with every use. Especially when a Pyro Abyss mage lingering about a domain tried to call his attention after he’d been pushed to use that power.

Nothing good would come out of using such an ability, he’d decided then—keeping to the bare minimum, like his father wanted would be best. He wouldn’t want to be so marked by the Abyss otherwise. Wouldn’t want to increase the risk of his attempts and powers being found out, certainly not by the family that had taken him in.

Is it any wonder he was so horrified to find it was a Cryo Vision that had come to him that fateful night?

[reikunrei]

sleepy bc I accidentally stayed up late monologuing to myself about how free! really should have ended for the nth time 🥴