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skzsauce01 · 5 years ago

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42nd Moon Pt 12 (end)

Description: By some stroke of luck, you get off the waitlist of your biology class. You’d never have guessed you’d find your soulmate there, let alone that he already has a girlfriend… Or that he comes from a fraternity of werewolves.

Warning: mentions of death/killing

Word count: 2.2k

Pairing: werewolf!Hyunjin x fem!reader, werewolf!Jisung x fem!reader

Chapter List

You’ve been to every country on your list, quit your job, and tried every activity you’ve dreamed of. Now there is just one thing left to do.

I, L/N Y/N, being of sound and disposing mind, hereby declare the following:

A knock sounds at the door. It’s Jisung.

“Hungry?” he asks. “They’re ready outside.”

I have no children and declare no spouse. I appoint Bang Christopher Chan as personal representative of my will.

You tuck the paper you are looking at into an envelope while answering him. “Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.”

You hear him walk down the hall and knock on another door.

“Hyunjin?” he calls. “You coming?”

The sound of your chair scraping against the floor drowns out his response. You straighten out the envelope on your desk and make your way out of your room.

“Want a drink?” Minho offers as soon as you step into the fraternity house’s kitchen. Well, Chan’s kitchen as of half a year ago.

You decline, and the male shrugs and downs the contents himself. You watch him walk away with a small smile on your lips.

To Lee Minho, I bequeath $2000 to his Cat Rescue Foundation. May this monetary effort touch the lives of misfortunate kittens just like he has touched them with his heart of gold.

“How’s it going?” greets Changbin with a chin tilt. This party is intended to celebrate the man’s recent hire at some office job, but you all know the true reason behind it.

“Good,” you reply.

“Awesome,” he nods. “Enjoy yourself. I’ll be creaming Felix at some video games in the living room if you need me.”

“Hey!” objects the Australian. “We’ll see about that!” He flashes a grin in your direction as a greeting before racing after the other male.

You can’t help but laugh at their antics.

To Seo Changbin, I leave him however much it takes to repair his synthesizer and purchase a microphone set in hopes that he continues pursuing his musical hobbies.

For Lee Felix, I have purchased the newest gaming console so that he might always have something to bother Changbin with. I leave an additional $500 for him to one day adopt a dog from the shelter cafe he frequents.

“Fried or seasoned?” you hear a voice call out to you from the kitchen island.

You turn towards that direction to see Seungmin indicating at a few buckets of chicken. Despite his question, he’s already putting food onto your plate.

“Half-half,” you answer. “Thanks!”

He nods and hands you exactly what you ask for.

To Kim Seungmin, I transfer all ownership of my stocks. As a man of great intelligence and even greater ambitions, there is not a doubt in my mind that he will take these shares and multiply their values beyond their monetary ones.

“Fried please!” yells Jeongin as he runs up to you so quickly, you nearly drop your plate.

He looks up to you with a cheeky grin while holding you in a side hug before making his way to Seungmin for food.

To Yang Jeongin, I grant $1125, the amount required to apply to all the post grad programs he is interested in, even the one he gave up on despite it being his dream school.

“Enjoying yourself?”

You nod in response to the leader’s question. “It’s quieter than your college frat parties.”

Chan laughs. “Guess we all got old. Wanna sit?”

You nod again and follow him to the living room where most of the boys have gathered.

To Bang Chan, I bequeath all benefits of my insurance and whatever is left in my accounts. I trust him to use this disproportionately larger sum to benefit the future of his Mu Alpha Theta boys. I trust that he’ll always be by their sides, nourishing them like he has done up until now. I also trust that he will take a generous portion for himself, so that I may attempt to thank him for the stellar leader and friend he has been to me.

“So who’s winning?” you ask.

“Me,” Changbin answers. Felix’s laugh tells you to believe otherwise.

“Who cares? They both suck,” Seungmin scoffs, taking a controller for himself as he plops down next to you.

You look fondly upon the group of boys. Never in your life had you imagined meeting a whole fraternity of werewolves, but you are so glad you did. You look at your wrist; it’s almost the same colour as the rest of your arm now. You try to imagine what life would be like if you were any other office lady, unaware of the Mu Alpha Theta wolves and soulmateless. You could be downtown, enjoying a candle-lit dinner with a boyfriend or jamming to karaoke with some co-workers and not dying.

Yet you can’t.

You can’t imagine being anywhere else right now than in this room with your eardrums being blasted out by game jargon and having to be hyper aware of your surroundings because fried chicken can still fly across the room when it’s in the hands of twenty-some year old boys. You can’t imagine not having got off the waitlist of your biology class and not having met Jisung or your soulmate.

On the topic of Hyunjin, you frown realizing that he isn’t here. He usually stays at a friend’s with his daughter during events like these where the other boys are drinking-- it is actually a habit you initiated-- but you were still hoping he would come tonight. After all, it is the last time you would see each other.

After chicken and games, Chan announces that he has bought cake. Before you can even recognize it as your favourite flavour, Jeongin has already smeared cream onto your face, and thus a war begins with the most popular target being you. By some miracle, you end up with a proper slice in your hands after all the commotion, but by then, the boys have quieted down significantly, having been worn down by earlier activities or passed out from alcohol.

“Hey.”

You turn around while swallowing your last bite to see Jisung again.

“Wanna get some fresh air?”

“Sure,” you reply.

He hands you a napkin and chuckles, “You might want some water to help you out. I’ll meet you outside when you’re ready.”

You take his suggestion and clean yourself up in the restroom. You giggle when you take in the damage the wolves have inflicted, but you don’t dwell on your reflection for long as to not keep Jisung waiting.

With your hand on the front door knob, you pause and take one last look at the house. Several boys lay asleep in front of a staticky television. The only one awake, Chan, looks up from his phone to shoot you a wink before looking back down, trying to keep things as normal as possible.

You look to your left for Hyunjin’s room. You wonder if he’s still awake and how he is doing since his soulmate is dying and all. You hope he will not miss you too much; at least he has Jisung again. Speaking of Jisung, you push open the door to meet him. He turns around with a smile to greet you as you descend the front steps.

To Hwang Hyunjin, I would like to give my sincerest apologies for making him go through the pains of being left alone once more. I know this will not compensate for his loss, but I leave for him my jewelry and gold. I pray that these gifts will ease the hardships of being a single father. Know that I leave more than just these earthly possessions; I also leave with you my heart and spirit. I am always with you and your daughter through every up and every down.

“Wanna go somewhere?” Jisung asks you when you join him on the pavement.

You shrug. “I’ve already been everywhere I want to. Do you have any ideas?”

“Actually, I do. Hop on.”

You wrap your arms around the neck of your personal werewolf taxi, and he takes off. The night wind blows through your hair, and although the moon is shy tonight, the city lights in the distance are enough to fill your heart. You hand brushes over the wolf’s fur, thanking him for the experience.

And to Han Jisung, the dearest and greatest blessing of my life, I know you wouldn’t want anything of monetary value from me, so I have left for you a memory box. In it, you will find my life: diaries I’ve written as an angsty teen, CDs of my favourite songs, my lucky charm socks that I save only for test days, my perfume, and more.

“Jolly Land?” you shout over the wind as Jisung easily hops over the gates. You are surprised at his choice, but not as surprised as when he starts climbing the twenty story ferris wheel, one carriage at the time until you have reached the top.

Oh, and please take care of Jolly Quokka. You are the reason why I have him, and he is one of my favourite memories I have with you. Please don’t cry too much, Jisung. Jolly will be watching over you for me to make sure you don’t!

“This is so illegal!” you laugh.

“Don’t worry, the werewolf council will cover up our tracks,” Jisung says while draping his jacket around you for the last time. “How are we supposed to explain the sudden death of a healthy young woman if she dies in the middle of a police interrogation?”

You are glad Jolly Land keeps some of its lights on after hours so that you can look around the park. You see a familiar stage and point towards it. “Look! That’s where we won the couple contest.”

Jisung leans over to take a gander before pointing at another spot. “And that’s where we got the headbands, and that’s the ride you forced me to go on.”

“And that’s where we had to sit for fifteen minutes afterwards because your legs were wobbling too much.”

“Hey!”

You both laugh at the memories. “I’ll miss coming here. This was a great idea; thanks for taking me tonight, Jisung.”

“No problem,” he hums.

“Which reminds me. Aren’t you afraid of heights? You couldn’t even take that roller coaster; how did you manage to climb up here?”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “Some things are worth being afraid over.”

You chuckle at his sweet words. “Things would have been simpler if I were your soulmate… Ah, sorry, that is insensitive for me to say,” you apologize.

“It’s fine. It’s the truth.”

“Still,” you frown.

He reaches over and gives you a reassuring pat. “Did you have a good life, Y/N?”

“I would say so, yeah.”

“I’m glad.” He pulls you closer, and you lean into your best friend and close your eyes. You can feel your clock ticking. You know Hyunjin can feel it too.

Ten.

Inside one of the rooms in the frat house paces a brown wolf as his child lays sleeping in her bed. Unlike what you had assumed, he has not left his room since you said your unofficial farewells this morning. Since then, only one question has dominated his thoughts: can he do it?

A sharp pain in his wrist reminds him of the limited time he has left.

Nine.

Jisung takes your cold hands in his, making sure you feel warm until the end. You shift in your seat to get a little more comfortable.

Eight.

A tear drips from his eye as he walks over to his daughter. The memory of you sitting beside him, stroking his back after his ex left replays itself in his mind. Then comes the memory of you waiting patiently for him outside the custody court. Then the memory of you holding his hand in the ER when his child’s fever spiked at three in the morning. Then the memory of you laughing with him when he drenched you both in water while trying to fill up a kiddie pool.

Seven.

You begin humming a nursery song, one that you often sing during the child’s bedtime. Jisung drums along with his fingers against your hand.

Six.

And then the memory of your arms around him in the forest. He was so close to losing you. So close to never holding you against him like that again. Hyunjin snuggles his daughter’s head upwards so that her neck lies between his two canines.

You will hate him for this. You will absolutely hate him for this, but Hyunjin has been giving you reasons to hate him since the day you met. It’ll be alright if you finally did.

Five.

Your fingers curl themselves into your palm as a sudden fear of what is on the other side creeps up your spine. Jisung moves to loosen the tension by interlacing his digits with yours.

Four.

Another teardrop lands on his daughter and wakes her up. She blinks a few times. “Daddy?”

That one single word pierces his heart.

Time is ticking.

Three.

“Jisung?” you whisper, lifting your chin slightly more towards him.

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

Two.

But then there’s you, and he loves you. He loves you so much. There is no denying now. You are his soulmate, his heartbeat, his existence...

... And just a bite away.

One.

Dear readers! Thanks for making it this far and coming on this 42nd Moon journey with me! All your notes, comments, and asks really touched my heart. I used to think creators on this site were so dramatic with their thanks to their followers until I found out that THAT’S ACTUALLY HOW WE REACT. So thank you all so, so, so much! I hope to see y’all around here again! (maybe for another 42 moons? Hahaha). PS: Please send in asks if u have any! We’ll be replying with badly drawn pics :P ~ ad.gold SPECIAL THANKS TO AD.GRAY WHO LET ME PESTER HER DURING THIS WHOLE PROCESS! And for editing, but tbh I think my annoying-ness is worse. kekeke

#stray kids #han jisung #hyunjin #werewolf #skz #werewolf!jisung #werewolf!hyunjin #42nd moon #ending!#THANK YOU #purple #05312020

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magma-paint · 5 years ago

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Tutorial Tuesdays: Heads Up!

It’s been a long time, life is a jerk. Anyway, drawing heads! Before continuing, I recommend reviewing the last Tutorial Tuesdays post on pencil pressure and drawing with basic shapes since those are going to be put into effect. Ready to go? Alright, since this is going to be a long one, click the Read More link and away we go!

The head is likely the part of any character you’re going to find yourself drawing the most. Expressions, headshots, closeups, busts, you name it. So let’s start by drawing a basic head and start with the most common view, the 3/4 view.

This is the most basic process condensed into four steps. Lightly sketch a circle and a guideline, the former typically is the form of most of the skull and the crosslines will help with placement of the eyes, nose, and ears. Then define the shape of the face, including the cheeks and jawline, with a bit stronger pressure but still keeping pretty light. Sketch in the ear and the curvature of the back of the head, as well as the neck. The furthest line of the neck will be relatively close to where the jawline and ear connect. Then sketch in the features; very lightly sketch in circles where the eyes are--above the horizontal guideline but no further down than touching it--and sketch the eye shape and pupil/iris, alternating sides with each stroke to alleviate the frustration that comes with “drawing the other eye”. You know what I’m talking about. The nose will be close to the guideline intersection, if not actually on it at certain angles. And viola, a basic head at 3/4 view. This same process is used when facing at 3/4 the opposite way.

For a profile view, or looking at the head from the side, same basic four-step breakdown:

You’ll notice that the nose sticks out and you can see where the head connects to the neck at the back. Another guideline helps with ear placement. I should have put the guideline for that on the 3/4 view, but I find that the main guideline and jawline contour work better for me. Use the additional guideline for the ear if it will help with the spatial relation of that feature. More experienced artists may tweak areas to fit their signature style. For example, placement of the lips. In anime, especially more realistically styled anime, the lips appear as very small peaks with the valley between them being there the mouth is.

Now onto probably the second most common view, the front view. Also using the same four step condensed breakdown:

(Some of it cut off, oops) Now you can see how the face is arranged when looking at the viewer straight on. This is the easiest to practice, followed by 3/4, then profile. You can even cheat by using the Symmetry pen in digital programs (just make sure you anchor down the point of reference first with Control+Click!). While basic, this works for just about any human character, though using references is highly encouraged to get a feel for the anatomy before messing with it to fit a particular style.

“I draw anthro animals, does this still work?”

Yes. For both super cartoony stylized characters and more realistically built and furry styles. Let’s start with looking at the fastest thing alive:

See? Circle, guideline, map out the features, and soon you got a cool boi.

Furries or more realistically styled anthros will tend to have more shapes and forms in their facial construction to better adhere to the anatomy of the animal they’re based on. JKU, my friend Elliot’s fursona, is an alien but the anatomy is based on a dog or a wolf. Study the animal you’re drawing if you need help or even to make a basic breakdown of the shapes you would need.

“How about object heads, like Cuphead?”

Absitively-posolutely! I personally use the circle foundation when drawing the Cup Bros or even just for general mapping the direction they’re looking, but once you master it, you can take the basic shape of the object you’re using, like this candle girl, and manipulate it to get it where you need them to face without relying on the circle.

Alright, now that you understand the basics of drawing a head, let’s move onto

Hair is a total mess and if there’s one thing I will warn beginning artists right now, DON’T DRAW STRAND BY INDIVIDUAL STRAND. It helps to think of hair and draw it in larger chunks and forms as a whole than by each individual one. As I shall demonstrate with my boi Guzma:

Okay, now that we have removed accessories from the picture, let’s set this up.

The process goes by starting with a basic head and the respective features of the character. Now we add the hairline, a visible boundary where the hair coverage begins. You‘ll sketch it for the forehead, the sideburns, and the nape of the neck if you’re in rear views. Now, piece by piece, we sketch the hair; I started with the floof at the top, then the right side of the sketch, then the left. If you have a character with a symmetrical hairstyle/haircut, remember the technique to avoid “the other eye” (or cheat by using the symmetry pen in digital).

The hairline itself varies from character to character or style to style, sometimes more seasoned artists won’t use it since it becomes hidden anyway. It does come in three basic shapes: flat (as seen on Guzma), protruding (it comes out a little bit in the front but following a smooth contour), and a widow’s peak, as seen on Equius:

The hairline is also useful in drawing and styling a character’s bangs or even indicating how the hair parts. Know what else it’s nifty for? It’s actually one of the most noticeable indicators of age. And you knew this example was coming and you probably even saw it coming from a mile away so let’s get it over with.

In 2018, Ace of the Gangreen Gang from The Powerpuff Girls became an official member of Gorillaz, temporarily taking up the role as the bassist while Murdoc was in jail. Since the band members age in real time, the same applies to Ace. Besides the addition of a couple wrinkles, the most noticeable effect time has had on him is the receding hairline and decreased volume/body his hair has compared to when he was within spitting range of becoming a legal adult. I could even do an entirely new tutorial on hair by age, but this is just the basics.

So we talked about hairlines and drawing in large chunks. What about characters with hair accessories or their hair pulled into ponytails or pigtails? Allow Plumeria and Bubbles to demonstrate:

Take your basic head and define the hairline (though it may be impractical on any angle on the PowerPuff Girls). Draw in the part and bangs if applicable and define the volume of the hair close to the head. Lightly sketch a circle on each side where the hair gathers on the head and map out the length of the hair. Define the pigtails first and then the hair accessories. And you good!

For specific textures of hair, look for references or additional tutorials. Bald characters such as Russel Hobbs or Dr. Eggman don’t really need much of a tutorial, but you do want to make sure the head is constructed very well to make it convincing. And on that topic...

TROUBLESHOOTING

These are some traps that beginning artists fall into or rookie mistakes seasoned artists shouldn’t be making on prime pieces. Let’s break them down:

Balloon Heads and Painted-on Faces

These two are beginning (more pronounced for anthro) artist pitfalls and tropes that were very common among the Sonic fandom back when Sonic X was at the peak of its popularity online in the late 2000s and early 2010s. Ohohoho... man, those were some times. Now, I do like Sonic X and even Sonic Underground, but it’s frustrating how prevalent balloon faces are in these professionally--well, mostly professionally--made shows put to television. As demonstrated here:

On the left, the example keeps all the features of Amy’s face within the basic circle with no indication of volume. Nothing that would indicate what parts of the face are supposed to stick out and it’s not exactly in a style that makes it simplistic enough to slide. The right, while not perfect, could reasonably be translated to 3D or CGI and the anatomy would check out and make it more convincing. At least, in 3/4 view or front view and some frames of Sonic X can be brushed off as an odd camera angle or going into a moving frame or just being too far away from the camera to properly discern some features. In profile view it’s less forgivable and more common to Sonic Underground and beginning artists.

In profile view, balloon heads/painted-on faces are a very noticeable mistake derived from keeping all the features inside the circle. At the very worst you can have the inset in the middle, where the nose is inside the guide circle and looks very much like it was just painted on. This is something that most artists usually grow out of in their last years of elementary school (or for those who use the metric system, primary school). At best, the mistake is just sticking the nose on the outside of the circle without accounting for convincing shape of the face, such as the Amy sketch on the left. On the right, the muzzle and, if you can see it, “eyebrow” stick out to convey how the eyes are covered based on the Mobian skull and the muzzle sticks out to accommodate the internal structure of the face. As seriously as you can take a cartoon character’s anatomy and biology, anyway.

Really the only case I could see these mistakes being fine or harmless is on object heads like Lucius (a billiard ball) and Claire (a sugar bowl) in the rubber hose style. However, the style is deceptively easy in which it may look simple but you have to have a good grasp on the style or it falls into the uncanny valley. Balloon heads and painted on faces seem to be more common to stylized anthro characters, but I’ve made a number of fluffy anime creatures and anime-styled human characters in seventh grade that fall into the trap.

Lopping

More common to human and humanoid characters, lopping is a mistake in which you draw the face alright but the hair at the top of the head really doesn’t look right to the point that the head itself doesn’t look right.

You’ll notice in this drawing of Lapis that the face shape looks okay, the eyes and nose and mouth are where they need to be, the hair is the right style, but it looks... off. Sketching a dotted line to outline the head at its most basic form shows that the hair placement defies the rules of anatomy. Such a mistake is what I call lopping, as it looks like the head was lopped off and the hair is trying to cover it. This is why I stress starting your sketch with basic shapes and then constructing details around the foundation.

Looks much better, right? And since in Steven Universe the gems don’t really have ears (at least, that’s my observation), you can lightly sketch in an oval where the ears normally are (in 3/4 and profile views) to help draw in the face shape and jawline.

As always, practice drawing these regularly and don’t shy away from references if you need something to study or a visual aid or guide. Happy drawing!

Next episode: No plans, but will take requests or suggestions in my inbox/Discord.

#tutorial tuesdays #tutorials #drawing heads #art reference #references

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thecomedybureau · 5 years ago

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The 100 Best Things in Comedy We Were Witness to In No Particular Order of 2019

OK, 2019′s officially over and we’ve wrangled our 100 truly favorite things in and around comedy (and it really spans all of comedy) that are not ranked whatsoever. It’s just like the title says and, it’s, as it is every year, quite long, so we won’t waste any more time with this intro.

Oh, in case you forgot and/or curious and/or need a quick refresher, here’s our 2018 list.

1. Rory Scovel Live Without Fear-This documentary follows Rory Scovel and his journey through six nights of completely improvised hour sets. In a single word, it’s inspiring. You see the way Scovel truly connects the audience and keeps it that way through his indelible charm and endless curiosity. The near unbelievable story of the Relapse Theater in Atlanta is also beautifully threaded in the doc as well. The clips of the improvised performances capture the magic that stand-up comedy can be that’s absent from the majority of comedy specials. You should be required to see this whenever and wherever it comes if you have any level of interest in comedy at all.

2. Naomi Ekperigin-From her own stand-up, to her podcast with husband Andy Beckerman, Couples Therapy, and her writing across TV, and everything else she does, Naomi is such an thoroughly commanding, yet delightful presence that we love seeing every time anywhere (and she should already be way bigger of a star already).

3. Cait Raft’s Presentation on “Bradley Cooper’s a Star Is Born Takes Place in an Alternate Reality Where 9/11 Never Happened”-Witnessing the imagination of Cait Raft up close was a privilege for us. This amazing dissection of the zeitgeist left us in stitches and with our mouth agape for how thoroughly it proved its point.

4. Corporate Season 2-The second season of the ultra dark workplace comedy delivered once again on its hysterical nihilistic satire that’s so prescient, yet still so unbelievably funny.

5. Mom-Prov Presents Family Therapy-Improviser Izzy Roland was daring enough to have her mom and her grandmother, both of whom are also in showbiz, to join her on stage for one of the most madcap, fourth wall-breaking, entertaining improv shows we’ve seen all throughout 2019.

6. Jena Friedman-So, this year, Jena delivered yet again with her subtle delivery and calm demeanor that hides her absolutely killer jokes. The follow-up to her Adult Swim special, Soft Focus, upped the ante with an interview of a gun-toting John McAffee and her brilliant Conan set about everyone’s true crime obsession.

7. Brendon Walsh’s Afternoon Delight-This last year, Brendon Walsh let everyone know that he was and still is one of the best at pulling prank calls, which is so much harder now than it was even ten years ago. This live show actually has Brendon place live prank calls in between stand-ups and the ride you go on is absolutely thrilling.

8. Jacqueline Novak’s Get on Your Knees-Novak’s solo show has more than earned its spot as an Off-Broadway show with bringing such an exquisite, almost never before seen comedic sensibility to the topic of blow jobs.

9. #F*ckF*ckJerry-Props to Vulture Senior Editor Megh Wright for sparking the fire to take out the egregious social media accounts of F*ck Jerry that just lifted jokes from comedians all across the Internet without pay or attribution.

10. Lorelei Ramirez-We’ve known distantly about Lorelei Ramirez for so many years, but seeing them up close was a breathtaking experience that had us laughing so hard. Their artistry in comedy that gracefully borders on performance art and even horror is absolutely inspiring.

11. Aaron Urist-Denver’s Aaron Urist is such a killer joke writer and joke teller and has been for years. We just were reminded about that with his burning bush joke during his latest LA trip.

12. Booksmart-Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut was not only a reinvigorated take on movies that specifically hone in on the end of high school, but also had a sincerely hopeful vision of the future generation. We hope that Booksmart finds its way to the top of the coming-of-age comedy films pantheon.

13. Rachel Mac on Lights Out-One of the highlights of Lights Out with David Spade is how unfiltered and raunchy they let comics get during their sets on the show. Rachel Mac took that amount of comedic license and thrived in getting into the nitty gritty about her last teaching job.

14. What We Do In The Shadows-The FX TV adaptation of the seminal Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement film in 2014 exceedingly succeeds in nailing the comedy of minutia in the world of the undead that also happens to be in a (somewhat) grounded reality.

15. PEN15-Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle’s vision of 2000 and their performances as teens were so spot on that PEN15 would deserve acclaim just for that. However, the heart of this show made its humor stand out in an ever crowded field of coming-of-age comedy.

16. Tiffany Haddish’s Black Mitzvah-A lot has happened for Tiffany Haddish since her last special (she’s a legit A-list celebrity now), but it’s clear that she is still her unapologetically positively, life loving self. This special is evidence of that, especially with her bit about her New Year’s show that she got undeserved flack for.

17. Straw Men-Lindsay Adams, Danny Palumbo, and Sam Wiles (and producer Kimmie Lucas) put on what is our favorite imagining of a comedic debate that we’ve seen thus far. The encouragement to make the most ridiculous, baseless arguments and being transparent about the whole thing is a golden goose of comedy.

18. The ending of Gloria Bell-Well, we can’t very well give away the ending to this English language dramedy remake from Sebastián Lelio that has Julianne Moore shine as bright as she has ever shone before, but just know that we stood out of our seats, applauding what she did to John Turturro right at the end.

19. I Think You Should Leave-Tim Robinson’s unflinchingly absurd sketch series unequivocally has many of the best sketches of 2019. The hot dog costume and Mexican restaurant sketches will have us busting up through, very likely, the next decade.

20. Les Miz and Friends-Bonkers (and we mean that in the best way possible) doesn’t begin to describe how wild this meta and great this puppet and human hybrid take on the theater institution of Les Miserables. The sheer cleverness on every level is awe-inspiring.

21. Dave Ross’ The Only Man Who Has Ever Had Sex-Ross has been a longtime favorite of ours for the contrasting bounciness and darkness of his comedy. His debut album captures this dichotomy perfectly.

22. Nikki Glaser: Bangin’-Nikki Glaser’s first Netflix hour special started off with a bang, pun intended. Her frank, but heartfelt exploration of all facets of sex is so damn funny that Glaser gets away with being as blue as she wants.

23. Super Dating Simulator-This live, interactive version of various Japanese video game dating simulators is one of the more innovative and surprisingly charming things we saw this year. Creator Sam Weller did a bang-up job not only making a video game work as a stage show, but doing so with a very off-beat sub-genre of video games

24. Emmy Blotnick’s Party Nights-Blotnick’s latest album shows Emmy at the peak of her delightful observational powers. The concept of a “Self-Potato” is just priceless.

25. Tammercise!-Folks in comedy are getting all sorts of clever these days to redefine traditional formats and disciplines and push the art form forward. Madeline Wager does this exquisitely with a solo show of a woman unraveling that doubles as legit aerobics class.

26. The Cherry Orchard w/Chad Damiani and Jet Eveleth-Damiani and Eveleth explore a new angle on postmodern clowning by supposedly doing a Chekov play going through dress rehearsal without any of the players knowing what they’re supposed to do. The back and forth between the live direction and the tomfoolery on stage is truly hysterical.

27. Bake Stuff with Lindsay LIVE-It’s about time for a comedic cooking show that actually does teach you a wonderful recipe and also explores and resolves(?) childhood trauma. Lindsay Adams’ Bake Stuff with Lindsay, which we indeed saw live, accomplishes all of that and inspires all those watching to cook through their feelings.

28. Shalewa Sharpe’s So, You Just Out Here?-Shalewa imbues homespun wisdom with marvelously colorful descriptions all throughout this very satisfying album.

29. The Amazing Johnathan Documentary from Ben Berman-The Amazing Johnathan’s life story is pretty captivating as is. The story about Ben Berman trying to tell his story amidst several other people trying to tell his story is absolutely engrossing and is somehow all true.

30. Julio Torres’ HBO special “My Favorite Shapes”-Torres’ special is simultaneously one of the most daring and silly hour specials in recent memory and his elevation of prop comedy to a whole new level is to be commended.

31. The Underculture with James Adomian-James Adomian has been one of comedy podcasts’ most in-demand and bright shining stars. It comes as no surprise that his own podcast that revs up all his characters has some of the best, most dynamic, absurdist interviews in political and pop culture satire.

32. Daniel Van Kirk’s Thanks Diane/Together Tour-Van Kirk’s first, complete hour that he both toured with and released as an album is so impressive with how deftly Dan manages a balance of sincerity and mischief from wire-to-wire.

33. Conan in Greenland-Conan marvelously turns his travel specials series Conan Without Borders on its head by attempting to buy Greenland based off of Trump’s stupid tweets.

34. Mary Beth Barone’s Drag His Ass: A F*ckboy Treatment Program-Mary Beth Barone’s live show exploration into her dating life is illuminating and hilarious throughout, but the actual interview that she does live with a “f*ckboy” is transcendent.

35. Obvious Plant’s Carnival of Toys-Jeff Wysaski AKA Obvious Plant really outdid himself this year in his quest to permeate everyday reality with a satirical twist. He not only made a whole line of custom toy figures that satirize pop culture on so many levels, but opened up a whole pop-up museum for several days to exhibit them in all of their bizarre glory.

36. Sports Without Equipment with Coach Keith Alejo-This Dress Up Gang sketch is one of those ideas that are simple, yet so out-of-left-field. Literally, they take sports without equipment to its funniest conclusion.

37. #Squatmelt-Howard Kremer’s desire to keep the spirit of The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail alive has evolved into its own very special thing in the form of a DIY stand-up comedy show/walking tour that periodically migrates around LA.

38. Catch-22-Trying to adapt such a monumental literary work like Catch-22 is almost a fool’s errand, but writers Luke Davies and David Michôd do a smash-up job for not only bringing Heller’s immortal words to life, but also sticking the landing for all the darkly absurdly comical moments that run rampant throughout the story.

39. Get Rich Nick-Even if they didn’t have the fantastic banter, riffs, and asides from the very funny duo of Nick Turner and Nick Vatterott, this podcast that explores how to make money real quick is one of the best new podcasts of the whole year. Fortunately, Nick and Nick’s humor runs rampant through every episode and makes Get Rich Nick engrossing and makes you actually laugh out loud.

40. MK Paulsen-The comedy of MK Paulsen can be faster than a bullet, but as satisfyingly silly as a gun that shoots a flag with the word ‘bang’ on it. Every time we see him do stand-up, it’s a fun, rollicking ride that’s equal parts offbeat whimsy, clever wordplay, and an agile sense of timing and play.

41. Father Figurine by Matt Kazman-The dour faces of the family in this dark comedy short play to the highest comedic effect perfectly. A dead patriarch and an apathetic family make for some of the best dry humor in 2019.

42. Funk Shuffle-Danny Cymbal, Dennis Curlett, and Michael Gardner comprise Funk Shuffle, an improv group that manages fly freer and more untethered than almost any other improv group that we’ve ever seen. They make their defiance and experimentation with improv forms really work due to the trio’s unflinchingly playful spirit.

43. Gary Gulman’s The Great Depresh-Gulman, as one of comedy’s premier craftsman, of course, delivers an hour of stellar comedy with this special. He also manages, this time around, to destigmatize depression and, in general, be hopeful. That particular comedy trifecta is such an impressive feat that very few can accomplish.

44. Greener Grass-The scope and ambition of Jocelyn DeBoer and Dawn Luebbe’s directorial debut hints at some really special things to come from them in the future. Their absolutely demented, pastel drenched absurdist vision was a shocking delight through and through.

45. Jenny Slate’s Stage Fright-Slate’s best comedic strength is her unshakeable vulnerability. This hour special lets Jenny present that trait as intimately as she has ever presented it and gives an in-depth look as to where that hilarious vulnerability comes from.

46. Heather Anne Campbell swatting a baby out of someone’s hands in an improv scene-At this point, it should come as no surprise that Heather Anne Campbell is one of our absolute all-time favorite people in comedy and thus, she kind of just ends up making it on this list annually on her own someway, somehow. This year, during a performance of her improv group, Heather and Company, we laughed as hard as we’ve ever laughed at Drew DiFonzo Marks initiating a scene by rocking a baby back and forth and then, Heather insanely swatted it out of his hands and stomped on it. It sounds ludicrous, but trust that Heather made that so unbelievably funny.

47. Adam Cayton-Holland’s Happy Place-Cayton-Holland’s live solo show based on his critically acclaimed book of the same name pulls off oscillating between cleverly wrought and self-aware comedy and some of the most heartbreaking stories you’ll ever hear about his late sister. Holland’s focus and calm make it all miraculously blend together.

48. The Authorized Unauthorized My Favorite Murder Musical-In the world of unauthorized musicals about things that you wouldn’t really think about being adapted into unauthorized musicals (it’s a bigger ever-burgeoning world every month it seems), the staged reading of this My Favorite Murder-inspired musical that we saw was phenomenal. The full stage production to come in 2020 will undoubtedly be something really great.

49. Pedro Gonzalez-Pedro’s jokes are so expertly written and crafted that you forget that he immigrated to America as a teenager from Colombia and learned English as a second language.

50. Garry Starr Performs Everything-UK comedian Garry Starr’s solo show is a genius send-up and celebration of theater as a whole. The physicality and the sheer madness of the whole show are so thoroughly hysterical.

51. Kira Soltanovich-We just want to take a moment to appreciate the agility of the comedy of Kira Soltanovich. Not only does Kira play any room or any show as far as we’ve seen, but her drive is just unstoppable (see ep. of The Honey Dew).

52. Mike Birbiglia’s The New One-Though it seems almost too routine that Birbiglia comes out with a new hour special that garners tons of acclaim for its ornate and complex and, ultimately, very satisfying tapestry of stories, Birbiglia delivers exactly once again with one such solo show/special on fatherhood.

53. Michelle Buteau-We saw Michelle headline just a few months ago at Dynasty Typewriter and were reminded of just how good Buteau is. She combines being heartfelt, having a fun bit of attitude, and an absolute command of the stage in such a beautiful way.

54. Gareth Reynolds’ Riddled with Disease-Many folks know how great Gareth is from his madcap riffing on The Dollop, but Reynolds shows he is fantastic with a sharp, hilarious, yet still fast-and-loose-feeling hour.

55. Sara Schaefer’s LIVE LAUGH LOVE-Sara, above most folks working in comedy today, goes to great lengths to be considerate, inclusive, and vulnerable in her comedy and it’s so, so wonderful because of that. This album is yet another great example of that mix.

56. Sean Patton’s Scuttlebutt-Sean Patton’s latest album is a fantastic note to any and all that Sean is, hands down, one of the best comedians ever to spin a yarn (and also share some damn fine true stories) and deserves way more accolade and attention for that now and going forward.

57. Matt Rogers’ Have You Heard of Christmas?-Rogers had quite a 2019 in putting culture on notice, but his queer and subversive holiday musical extravaganza might be one of the best pieces of holiday themed comedy of all time.

58. The Chris Gethard Show with Robby Hoffman-Not only does Robby Hoffman keep the punk rock, conventions-be-damned spirit of TCGS alive, but she makes it so much her own and lets her hilarious, domineering persona transform the show into another very special, unique round of controlled chaos.

59. The taping of Eddie Pepitone’s latest special-Eddie’s sound and fury and his irreverent stream-of-consciousness-seeming comedy were flawless in this latest hour. Everyone in attendance, including ourselves, were in stitches for the whole taping. Props to director Steven Feinartz for one of our favorite looks of a special that we saw last year (which you’ll all get to see soon in 2020).

60. Eric Dadourian’s closer on Nebraska 2-Dadourian is always all in for the sake of a real bold, imaginative bit and, as such, pulled off one of our favorite closers of the year on his very first full length album.

61. Jessica Kirson: Talking to Myself-Kirson’s hour special on Comedy Central really let Jessica cut loose and let her showcase her stand-up expertise. From the way that Kirson contorts her face to her deep well of voices/characters to razor-sharp quick wit to, of course, her signature asides to herself, Jessica really kills it in this hour.

62. Brody Stevens-Long live the “jock doing performance art” comedy (one of our favorite descriptions of Brody’s comedy by his dear friend Zach Galifianakis) and may he rest in peace. Yeeeees! Enjoy It!

63. Byron Bowers on Colbert-Byron Bowers and his clever, yet sincere, dark, vulnerable comedy put up one of our favorite late night sets this year. From the opening to his frank jokes about his dad make us think that it’s just a little crazy that this is his network TV debut.

64. Desus and Mero on Showtime-With the upgrade of being on Showtime, Desus Nice and The Kid Mero are having the most fun in late night with the freshest voices and format (and they’re able to pull that off with only being twice a week).

65. Fleabag Season 2-creator and star Phoebe Waller-Bridge assuredly has more masterpieces ahead of her, but managing to top herself from one masterpiece season of dark romantic dramedy with another one is something that deserves all the accolades and awards that it has gotten.

66. Kenny DeForest on Corden-Kenny dismantles toxic masculinity so incisively through the whole set that he most certainly earns all the applause breaks he gets the whole way through.

67. Josh Gondelman’s Dancing on a Weeknight-Gondelman is often thought of as one of the best, sweetest people in comedy. This latest album, for all of its being clever and genuine, is proof that he indeed really is that sweet and funny.

68. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 3-The perennial prestige comedy from Amy Sherman-Palladino earns its keep by having some of the best writing (it’s almost impossible to write jokes that are contextualized for the 50s/60s and make them actually funny for 2019 audiences) and also being one of the most gorgeous looking shows in all of television.

69. Nick Ciarelli and Brad Evans-Whether it be pulling pranks on Twitter, their plethora of hysterical sketches doing an impression of Jack FM on shows around town, or their monthly live sketch character showcase Atlantic City, Nick and Brad are a damn fine comedy duo and have been for quite some time.

70. Caitlin Gill’s Major-It’s quite the magic trick to make an hour of comedy that’s entirely clean and have it being clean not be a thought that you’re thinking about at all when listening or watching it. Caitlin Gill spectacularly does just that with this album as Gill can make all of her earnest rants, imagery, and observations work in any way that she needs to.

71. 97.9 The Rat Race-Ben Roy’s satirical reimagining of a morning radio “zoo crew” is so spot on, then gets real twisted to make this one of the most surprising and rewarding podcasts of 2019.

72. Mike Lane’s Picture Frames-This short film from Lane heightens the idea of remembering those you love after they’ve left this mortal coil to such a ridiculous level every step of the way (and is more and more enjoyably unpredictable the further it goes).

73. Paige Weldon on Corden-Paige’s upbeat self-deprecation is just hard to resist and it makes the best impression in this late night set on The Late Late Show with James Corden.

74. The Righteous Gemstones-Danny McBride’s latest HBO series that darkly and comically dissects the South might be his most ambitious yet, but, of course, he nails it. The constant suspense perpetuated by hysterically tragic characters in the world of televangelists is profound.

75. My Friend Chuck-Comedic erotica author Chuck Tingle (one of the absolutely most unique voices and cadences we’ve heard in awhile) and friend McKenzie Goodwin celebrate their friendship every week for a podcast that’s preposterously funny and, also, more heartwarming than almost anything we’ve heard or seen.

76. Joey Clift’s Telling People You’re Native American When You’re Not Native Is a Lot Like Telling a Bear You’re a Bear When You’re Not a Bear-Clift makes such biting, pun intended, commentary with this short film/PSA that is also so playful that the message about Native identity will undoubtedly stick with you.

77. Megan Gailey’s My Dad Paid For This-Gailey strikes a wonderful balance of charm and attitude and fervent desire to burn down the patriarchy. Such a mix accents her very delightful observations about herself and the world around her in this marvelous debut album.

78. Robin Higgins as Baby Yoda at Tournament of Nerds-Higgins might have made one of the best, first attempts at Baby Yoda cosplay. She also, for what’s supposed to be a roast-style competition between fictional/pop culture characters, perfectly imagined how Baby Yoda would roast someone while maintaining Baby Yoda’s sweetness that has captured the hearts and minds of the Internet.

79. The Man Who Killed Don Quixote-Terry Gilliam went through hell, did a few laps, and came back over several years to get this meta-quixotic tale about reimagining the legendary novel Don Quixote made. The finished film, for us, was worth the wait.

80. Jo Firestone on The Tonight Show-Jo’s sense of play is so pure and present that it’s kind of irresistible. Combined with a perfect amount of self-deprecation, Jo really delivered a terrific set we’ll probably never get tired of.

81. Paul Rudd continues his time honored tradition of playing that one clip of Mac & Me on Conan-Rudd evolves the arc of this long running bit on Conan where, instead of playing a clip of what he’s on Conan to promote, he plays the same exact clip of the universally panned alien comedy Mac & Me. We all know what’s coming and yet, without the benefit of surprise, Rudd’s annoyance of Conan still keeps on being so damn funny.

82. Billy on the Street featuring Reese and Mariah-This year, we were lucky enough to get two instantly classic episodes of Billy on the Street with Reese Witherspoon and Mariah Carey that gave us our fix for our obsession with Billy Eichner yelling at strangers on the streets of NYC.

83. The Dollop England & UK-As Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds embarked on an entire England & UK tour of The Dollop, they thought it prudent to do a mini-series specific to Great Britain and did a smashing job making fun of British history. The Cyril the Swan episode is particularly brilliant.

84. Lost Moon Radio-The live musical sketch comedy theater troupe (Lost Moon Radio truly lives up to such a description) marked their 10th anniversary and put on an absolutely fantastic “Summer Block Party” this year that both showed that they still got their ingenious musical sketch comedy chops.

85. Nate Bargatze’s The Tennessee Kid-The calm with which Bargatze pervades all of his comedy is part of what makes it beloved by nearly any and all that see or hear Bargatze’s stand-up. That’s such the case now that Nate gives updates to stories from previous specials on this latest hour.

86. Beth Stelling on Kimmel-Every detail of this set on Jimmy Kimmel Live is pretty stellar. That includes Beth, in general, for her warm demeanor, smile, and cleverness, the Chippendale’s story, Beth’s mom being there in the crowd, and, of course, the surprise guest at the end.

87. Liz Climo’s Please Don’t Eat Me-This illustrated book is just the latest in a long line of uber-adorable and genuinely-funny-for-all-ages books from Climo. Liz seems to have quite the knack for making unlikely animal friendship jokes.

88. John Hodgman’s Medallion Status-Hodgman’s journey through the various statuses of airline privilege/celebrity is a superb serving of existential humor, done up with Hodgman’s painstaking attention to the exactly right details.

89. Jane Curtin’s 2019 New Year’s Resolution “My New Year’s Resolution Is To Make Sure The Republican Party Dies”-Said during a CNN interview with the SNL alum, this was the first thing to make us heartily laugh in 2019.

90. Alex Kavutskiy’s Squirrel-Kavutskiy’s short film dives into the concept of forgiveness unlike we’ve really seen and, as is Kavutskiy’s style, is so darkly spellbinding and so pointedly funny at the same time.

91. Astronomy Club: The Sketch Show-The long running comedy troupe known as Astronomy Club really ran with their chance to do a full-fledged sketch series on Netflix. They’re so endlessly clever on in their sketches, especially when it comes to the subjects of identity and oppression, and pack in so many jokes and sight gags that you’ll definitely want to watch it more than once so you don’t miss anything.

92. Dolemite Is My Name-Eddie Murphy seems poised to make a real return to comedy (and stand-up comedy in particular) and this marvelous biopic of comedian and blaxploitation star Rudy Ray Moore AKA Dolemite is the perfect way to start.

93. Anna Drezen on Corden-Drezen has such a perfect sense of farce and misdirection and puts on a beautiful display of those two things from start to finish in this set on The Late Late Show with James Corden.

94. BUTT’s Yoda themed dating app sketch-This sketch is so prescient of the resurgence of the world’s current (baby) Yoda obsession. Also, while this is so absurd with its deep dive into various Yoda fan art and cosplay, Joe McAdam and Chris Stephens’ take on dating apps is so sharply and deeply funny.

95. Mel Brooks Unwrapped-The never ending bit of attempting a documentary between Mel Brooks and the BBC’s Alan Yentob is yet another display of the true, unquestionable genius of Mel Brooks.

96. 50 First Stephs-The amazing, hysterical Steph Tolev kicked off 2019 with a show where 50 or so of her compatriots and contemporaries did various impressions and characterizations of her. Part roast, part loving tribute, part amazing showcase of the depth of creativity in LA comedy, Tolev’s night for herself was something really special.

97. The Bongo Hour with Sandy Honig and Peter Smith-Honig and Smith brought their wild variety show that featured such wonderful bits, characters, drag, and burlesque to LA and showed, truly, how much better life is when you’re fluid about nearly everything.

98. How Did This Get Played?-Hosts Nick Wiger and Heather Anne Campbell and their take on the “worst and weirdest” video games do their namesake, the beloved How Did This Get Made?, proud. Even if you’re not a gamer, the way they dissect the most bizarre video games ever made along with Heather and Nick’s chemistry is very, very enjoyable.

99. Joe Pera Talks With You Season 2-This second season of Joe Pera’s unique talk-to-the-viewer series is so calming that the comedic twists sneak up in the most delightful way possible. There is a certain beauty to Pera’s show that makes us want to have Joe Pera Talks With You playing on a loop in a contemporary art museum.

100. John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch-John Mulaney does “it”, yet again. “It” being releasing another hour of comedic brilliance that’s so markedly different than whatever he did before, yet, somehow still stamped with an indelible mark of Mulaney’s comedy of obtuse hyper-specificity.

#top 100 #100 best #best of 2019 #2019 comedy #best sketch #best stand up #best improv #best comedy specials

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parandalhayansae · 6 years ago

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Evolution of Kpop (the system)

I feel like procrastinating on school and I saw people shitting on super junior’s accomplishments which got me riled up at 12 a.m. so here is the evolution of the system of kpop (read if u wanna know who the king of kpop is):

1980s~early 1990s: Rise of pop/dance music in Korea with dance groups like Sobangcha and Deux

1990s: Start of actual idol groups like Seo Taiji and the Boys, H.O.T, Sechskies, S.E.S, Fin.Kl, g.o.d, Shinhwa, etc. Also start of fandom culture (fandom colors, balloons, sasaengs, fanfics, basically obsessive fangirl things) ((computers actually existed back then so girls posted fanfics and shit it was wild))

They technically start the Hallyu wave bc people in China knew them

Early~mid-2000s: Relative shortage of idol groups, only like TVXQ and Jewelry come to mind. Ballad music and soft rock is the shit for the public (p.s. they still are)

now Japan knows about them! hurray to boa and tvxq for bringing in that fat cash

Mid~late 2000s: ooh NOW idols are popular. TVXQ, Super Junior, Big Bang, Wonder Girls, Girl’s Generation, SHINee, etc. are gaining fame. Internet also goes up in popularity, fans make posts and comment about groups, people start sharing photos and videos online

idols get more popular in Japan and even in the West!! thanks youtube

AuToTuNE eVErYwHerEee

Early 2010s: Idol industry gets popular. it gets so popular the public hates it, music audition programs (Super Star K, Kpop Star, Immortal Songs, I Am a Singer, etc.) are super popular bc public hates idols that lip-sync and just get popular for their looks so they start looking for real vocal talent

2012: I added this year bc 2012 is called the 아이돌 홍수 (Idol Flood) when literally thousands of rookie groups poured out. The ones from 2012 who survived till now (that I can remember) are EXO, AOA, VIXX, and BTOB.

oh and BTS debuts in 2013. important later

Hallyu dies down in Japan

Idol companies actually start paying attention to music quality bc they get so much shit for it

Mid-2010s: Hallyu starts to grow internationally through online platforms and social media. Audition programs start dying down. The public still hates idols but accepts it as daily life.

(hey look, BTS is growing in the distance!)

Late 2010s: China bans hallyu content. now celebs can't go over there to make millions for guesting once on a show. sucks. at least its growing everywhere else thanks to the Internet! Also I hate idol audition programs. go die produce 101 you're overhyped

me, 10 years into kpop world: woah, BTS is fucking HUGE wth happened??

also me: (doesn’t stan BTS bc they’re too popular and i don’t stan too popular groups bc they don’t really need me lmao)

Sobangcha and Deux paved the way for H.O.T, Sechskies, S.E.S, etc. paved the way for BoA and TVXQ paved the way for Super Junior, Big Bang, Wonder Girls, SNSD, Kara paved the way for EXO, AOA, VIXX, BTOB paved the way for BTS, Seventeen, NCT paved the way for...

tl;dr: nothing lasts forever, everyone dies, and popularity dies even quicker so there’s no point to anything so everyone’s king in some way. it’s fucking kpop greg stop fighting

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one-of-us-blog · 6 years ago

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SPECTRE (2015)

Today Drew is forced to watch and recap 2015’s SPECTRE, the twenty-fourth and final (for now) James Bond adventure. 007 has been put through the ringer over the course of these last few movies, but now it’s all come down to this. Can Bond unmask the shadowy puppet master who’s been pulling the strings this whole time? Can he find out who’s been manipulating not only himself and MI6 but the whole world? When the time comes, will he want to?

Keep reading to find out…

Eli, I can’t believe you’ve done it, you madman! You can now say you’ve watched every single episode of The Golden Girls and The Golden Palace. What a coup! I’m extremely proud of you, and you’ve done an amazing job with your recaps over the years. I know you still have one more post to go, but you should give yourself a well-earned pat on the back! And hey, mister, this duo’s got two powerhouses and their names are You and Me!

Buttocks tight!

Screenplay by John Logan, Neal Purvis, Robert Wade & Jez Butterworth, film directed by Sam Mendes

We start off with a traditional barrel shot, which it feels like we haven’t seen in forever, and then we get a menacing quote about the dead being alive. We cut to an absolutely banging Día de Muertos celebration in Mexico City, where Bond, decked out in full skeletal garb, is led to a hotel room by a hot-to-trot Mexican lady. Bond’s only interested in her hotel room because he can use the window to get out on the roof, much to her disappointment. From the roof he can see into another building where a shady deal is going down. He snipes a few henchmen but then a bomb goes off in the room and the whole damn building comes crashing down, taking part of Bond’s hotel with it. I sure hope that lady got out in time! The man Bond was actually after, Marco Sciarra (Alessandro Cremona), survived the explosion, and Bond chases him out into the Black Parade. A helicopter is coming to collect Sciarra, but Bond boards it right after him and gets in an aerial fight with Sciarra and the helicopter pilot. Bond yanks a ring off Sciarra’s finger before kicking him out of the ‘copter to his death, then kicks the pilot out for good measure and barely manages to get the helicopter under control before it crashes into the parade-goers. Bond flies toward Mexico City proper and notices a stylized octopus on the ring he took off of Sciarra.

With that high-flying action behind us, we cut to our opening credits as Sam Smith, the first gay to ever win an Oscar, sings “Writing’s on the Wall”. A nude bond is felt up by some fiery ladies as a spooky octopus waves its tentacles around menacingly. Also, there’s some full-on hentai shit going on as some naked ladies get felt up by more octopi.

C’mon, I don’t need to be Samuel L. Jackson to know tentacle porn when I see it. In addition to this flagrant display of fetishes, we also get some call backs from the last few movies. We see smoky visions of Vesper Lynd and Le Chiffre from Casino Royale, Raoul Silva from Skyfall and even the late, great Dench-brand M. I guess Dominic Greene from Quantum of Solace was too busy to come in that day, huh? From here things get very amateur-filmmaker-going-into-their-first-year-of-film-school-with-a-big-chip-on-their-shoulder as Bond and a woman make their way through a motionless crowd of people and embrace while a massive octopus with a skull-with-eyes for a head looms over them and the nonexistent film strip melts. Bond prepares to shoot someone, but an adorable baby octopus envelops his gun and turns his bullet into ink, which zooms through a crowd of sexy naked ladies. We get shots of a board meeting overseen by a cecaelia and some body horror in the form of an iris made of tentacles (which is actually a pretty cool shot) before we head back to wear it all began with a nude Bond being felt up by some fiery ladies.

With that hour-long sequence behind us we jump to MI6 HQ, where Bond is getting reamed by M (née Gareth Mallory) over the destruction he caused in Mexico. Turns out Bond was going a bit rogue, and M has no idea what Bond was doing in Mexico City. Bond refuses to tell M what he was doing south of the border, and M takes Bond off active duty. Bond meets Max Denbigh (Andrew Scott), the head of the new Joint Intelligence Service whom Bond dubs ‘C’. C seems friendly enough, but M informs bond that he’s intent on dismantling the 00 program for good.

Miss Moneypenny catches up to Bond and delivers him a box of stuff MI6 managed to recover from Skyfall. Bond has Moneypenny deliver the box to his spartan apartment, where he shows her a tape from the late M telling him to hunt down and kill Sciarra. She also notes that he should attend Sciarra’s funeral, which is in three days. Moneypenny points out that the current M won’t sign off on that, but Bond’s not worried about that. He needs Moneypenny to do a little digging for him and investigate a name he heard in Mexico: The Pale King.

Moneypenny leaves and Bond sifts through the stuff from Skyfall, finding an odd, partially burnt picture of him as a boy with a mysterious man and an unknown young man. Bond heads to the Q Branch, where Q implants a tracker in his arm on the orders of M. Q then shows off an amazing new car, which it turns out is actually for the mysterious 009, and gives Bond a normal, totally non-gadgety watch instead. Bond convinces a reluctant Q to make his tracker go on the fritz so he can sneak off to Sciarra’s funeral and heads off to run some errands. He drops Moneypenny and a thank you note and a conspicuous cell phone, then breaks into Q Branch, steals 009’s car and a big gun.

He arrives at Sciarra’s funeral in Rome and immediately puts the moves on the dead man’s widow, Lucia (Monica Bellucci). Lucia rebuffs Bond’s advances, but he later saves her from some assassins at her house and she tells him her husband belonged to a shadowy cabal of businessmen before they fuck the pain away (Peaches. “Fuck the Pain Away.” The Teaches of Peaches, Kitty-Yo, 2000. MP3.). Lucia tells Bond where this shadowy cabal is meeting, and he heads that way despite her warnings that he’s definitely going to get killed. He uses Sciarra’s ring to gain access to the meeting, and he witnesses the group planning all sorts of untoward and illegal activities. Bond notices the chair at the head of the table is empty, though that soon ceases to be a problem as the head honcho (Christoph Waltz), shrouded in shadow, arrives and takes his seat.

The group moves onto discuss the death of Sciarra, and one of the businessmen argues that they should scrap the plot Sciarra was working on. That businessman is promptly killed by Mr. Hinx (Dave Bautista), a hulking beast with metal thumbnails that he uses to gouge out the unfortunate dissenter’s eyes. With that display of power over, the man in the shadows calls out Bond by name. He hints at a past connection with Bond, and reveals his face. Bond seems to recognize him, but he’s set upon by various henchmen and barely manages to make it to 009’s car. He sets off through the streets of Rome with Mr. Hinx in hot pursuit. Bond thinks this is a good time to give Moneypenny a call and finds out that the Pale King is in fact Mr. White (remember him?). He asks Moneypenny to look into a man named Franz Oberhauser, who’s supposed to be dead. With that out of the way Bond gets back to the whole chase thing, and finally gives Mr. Hinx the slip by using the ejector seat in 009’s car before he drives it into a canal.

In Tokyo, C is advocating the Nine Eyes program, which would unite the globe under unprecedented surveillance. M secretly votes against Nine Eyes being enacted, then he receives news about Bond’s car crash in Rome. He orders Q to track Bond down, and Q reports that Bond is in Altaussee, Austria. Bond’s tracked down Mr. White with Moneypenny’s help, and it’s finally time to give that wily rascal his comeuppance. Or, well, it would be if a gnarly case of thallium poisoning hadn’t done most of the work for Bond. White explains that Oberhauser has ordered his assassination because White had a problem with him taking their work, which was always pretty bad, in a much darker direction with a lot of innocent bystanders getting hurt. Bond demands to know where he can find Oberhauser, but White says Oberhauser is everywhere. Bond deduces that White is trying to protect his daughter; White tells Bond to find her, and if he keeps her safe she’ll take him to someone called L’Américain so he can find Oberhauser. White then eats a bullet from Bond’s gun, and Bond leaves.

Back in London, C reveals to M that he’s bugged Moneypenny’s phone so he knows Bond was headed to Austria. Right about that time, Mr. Hinx arrives at the dead White’s house. Bond arrives at the office of White’s daughter, a psychiatrist named Dr. Madeleine Swann (Léa Seydoux) Bond informs Dr. Swann about her father’s death, but she refuses to take him to L’Américain. Bond goes to a bar where he’s met by Q, who informs him that all hell is breaking loose in London. He tells him Franz Oberhauser is dead, and that he and Moneypenny are both going to get screwed if Bond doesn’t get his shit together and come home. Bond gives that idea a pass, and instead gives Q Sciarra’s ring to investigate. Bond is about to be escorted away by security when he sees Dr. Swann being kidnapped by Mr. Hinx and some nondescript goons.

Bond just can’t keep his feet on the ground in this movie, so he steals a little plane and pursues Mr. Hinx et al. Q, meanwhile, is having problems of his own. He’s been hacking away at the mainframe inside Sciarra’s ring, unaware that he was totally about to be assassinated by a pair of henchmen. He’s only saved by the arrival of a bunch of ski bunnies in the cable car he and the assassins are on. Bond uses his plane to crash one of the cars in Mr. Hinx’s entourage, and the sound of the explosion is enough of a distraction for Q to slip away from his would-be assassins and hide in a closet. After a rather rough landing involving a crash through a barn, Bond rescues Dr. Swann. She’s not thrilled about the idea of working with him, but he convinces her to tag along as he goes to meet up with Q.

Q’s managed to hack into the ring, which reveals that several important figures from past movies, including Le Chiffre, Patrice, Mr. White, Sciarra, Raoul Silva and Dominic Greene (who gets shown on Q’s screen but apparently doesn’t warrant being mentioned by name, which is really making him feel like the middle child of this criminal underworld), are all linked together by Franz Oberhauser. Q doesn’t know what this collection of hoodlums is called, but Dr. Swann does: SPECTRE. Oh shiiiiiii

Dr. Swann finally spills the tea on L’Américain. Turns out it’s not a person, but a hotel. Specifically a hotel in Tangier, Morocco, which is where Bond and Dr. Swann head while Q goes back to London. Dr. Swann checks into a room that her father would always check into, and Bond begins to dismantle it in search of some kind of clue or message while Dr. Swann gets shitfaced on wine like a soccer mom with a kid-free afternoon. After Dr. Swann passes out Bond gets a hot tip from a mouse he has an intimate moment with and discovers a secret room connected to the hotel room. The room is littered with pictures of Dr. Swann as a baby, as well as a VHS that apparently recorded Vesper Lynd getting interrogated, but more importantly it holds a set of coordinates which lead to Oberhauser’s base in the Sahara.

Back in London, C has gone behind M’s back and gotten Nine Eyes approved. He’s also gotten the 00 program shut down, which M is understandably not thrilled about. Meanwhile, Bond and Dr. Swann board a train headed for Oberhauser’s hideout. Bond tries to mansplain guns to Dr. Swann, but she’s a badass in her own right and doesn’t need any lessons from him. They begin to Bond, but this is interrupted by the arrival of Mr. Hinx. Mr. Hinx beats Bond’s ass up and down the train, but Bond and Dr. Swann working together are able to get him yeeted out of the train by a rope around his neck. They then have sex, because of course, before arriving at a deserted waystation on the Sahara. They have to wait a while, but eventually a car comes to collect them and takes them to a secret hideout located inside a crater.

In a very Dr. No-esque scene, Bond and Dr. Swann are greeted politely by Oberhauser’s staff and sent to bespoke swanky rooms (after Bond turns over his gun). In Dr. Swann’s room she finds a picture of herself and her dad, and in Bond’s picture he finds an unburnt copy of that picture that was recovered from Skyfall. Turns out the mysterious other young man who was standing with baby Bond and that unknown man was none other than a young Oberhauser. Dr. Swann and Bond are taken to meet with Oberhauser, who shows off the meteorite that made the crater he’s built his base in. He gives a heavy-handed monologue comparing himself to the meteorite before he gives them a tour of his facility. The tour culminates in a room full of people monitoring news stations and hidden security camera feeds, including one hidden in MI6. Bond deduces that C works for Oberhauser, and Oberhauser’s been striving to dismantle the 00 program.

Oberhauser describes himself as the author of all Bond’s pain and takes credit for the deaths of Vesper Lynd and the previous M. He confirms that Le Chiffre, Greene and Silva all worked for him, and then he plays a recording of Mr. White’s suicide to torment Dr. Swann. Bond is knocked out, and he wakes up he’s strapped to a chair as Oberhauser prepares to fiddle around with his brain. Also, just to give the game away, we get a shot of a certain signature white cat. Dr. Swann is forced to watch while Oberhauser drills into Bond’s brain, and when she demands to know why Oberhauser is doing this he launches into some backstory. Turns out the guy from the photograph is Oberhauser’s father; after Bond was orphaned at a young age Oberhauser’s dad took him in and asked Oberhauser to think of him as a little brother. Bond and Oberhauser’s dad formed a strong connection, so Oberhauser killed his own father out of jealously and faked his own death. As you do. He tells Bond that Franz Oberhauser really did die in an avalanche alongside his father, and the man now torturing Bond is Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Hey, it’s been a while (sort of)!

Blofeld begins to drill into Bond’s brain again, this time with the intention of destroying the part of his brain that lets him recognize faces. Why not! Bond is able to pass the watch Q gave to him forever ago to Dr. Swann, and it turns out there’s a bomb in that little sucker. Blofeld is caught up in the explosion but Dr. Swann is able to free Bond from his restraints and the two beat feet out of there. Bond sets off another explosion which destroys Blofeld’s entire facility, and then, because Bond’s feet have been on the ground way too long, he and Dr. Swann fly off in a helicopter.

Bond and Dr. Swann arrive in London, where they meet with M in secret. Bond lets M know that C is dirty, and they plan to take care of him. Dr. Swann can’t handle being part of all this cloak and dagger stuff anymore, so she peaces out while Bond, M, Moneypenny and Q head off to TCOB. This super squad lasts about a minute before the car carrying M and Bond gets t-boned. M manages to slip away, but Bond is taken prisoner. Q and Moneypenny pick up M while Bond manages to take out two goons with his head in a sack and his hands tied together. M and Q try to keep C’s Nine Eyes system from going online confront the traitor in his office while Bond navigates the ruins of the former MI6 HQ in search of Blofeld.

Bond finds Blofeld safely encapsulated behind some bulletproof glass. The explosion from earlier has given him his trademark scar and milky eye, and he informs Bond that he’s once again captured Dr. Swann. He’s wired the building with explosives, and Bond only has three minutes before they go TF off. Bond can either waste time trying to find Dr. Swann or he can save himself and escape. Blofeld triggers the countdown and heads out, leaving Bond to search for Dr. Swann. Q manages to keep Nine Eyes from going off, but M and C scuffle and C falls to his death. Bond catches sight of Blofeld getting away in a helicopter (the helicopter budget for this movie must have been off the chain), but he manages to rescue Dr. Swann and the two make it outside as the building explodes behind them.

Bond, riding in a speedboat, manages to shoot Blofeld’s helicopter out of the sky with a handgun. Let that sink in for a minute. The helicopter crashes, but Blofeld survives and escapes the wreckage. Unfortunately he scuttles right into Bond’s path, and Bond prepares to execute him. Blofeld urges him to finish it, but Bond declines and turns Blofeld over to M while he goes to meet Dr. Swann instead. Blofeld watches Bond and Dr. Swann walk away together as M informs him he’s being arrested.

Some time later, Bond arrives in Q Branch and gets the newly rebuilt old-timey car so he and Dr. Swann can drive off in style.

The End

~~~~~

Man, I know I’ve complained about how long these movies can get before, but I really wasn’t prepared for this puppy. To start off with some things I liked, I thought Mr. Hinx was a neat henchman and it feels like it’s been a long time since we had a good goon with a physical quirk like his metal thumbnails. It was fun to see some gadgets at play, and in a lot of ways this movie felt like a nod to classic, cheesier Bond films as opposed to the grittier, more realistic movies that have preceded it. I liked Dr. Swann a lot, and I appreciated that M, Q and Moneypenny all got stuff to do instead of just meeting with Bond before he jets off on his adventure and they’re left in the office. Now, I’ve got to comment on Blofeld… First of all, it’s neat to have him, and SPECTRE, back in the game after such a long absence. But why they heck did they need to make it so he and Bond grew up together? And Blofeld has built this entire criminal empire just because he had daddy issues and he was jealous of Bond? There has to be more to him than that! Also, I hated that Silva got turned into a henchman for SPECTRE. It was pretty blatantly stated that both Le Chiffre and Greene were part of a larger organization so I don’t mind them getting retconned into Blofeld’s agents, but Silva’s vendetta against the late M felt so personal and it doesn’t make sense to me that he was working for someone else. A lot of this movie was fun and I enjoyed most of it, but if I think about the motivations behind it all for even a little bit then the whole thing comes apart. This isn’t the worst Bond movie by any means (lookin’ at you, Thunderball), but it feels like it did a disservice to its immediate predecessors and didn’t come anywhere near the heights of Casino Royale or Skyfall.

I give SPECTRE QQQ on the Five Q Scale.

I can’t believe it, but there aren’t going to be any new recaps after that! We did it, Eli! Well, almost. Eli’s going to do a final post recapping his thoughts on his time spent with the Girls in The Golden Girls and The Golden Palace, and after that I’ll put up a post summing up my final thoughts on the James Bond franchise.

Until then, as always, thank you for reading, thank you for joining us on this wild ride and thank you for being One of Us!

#One of us #james bond #007

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omgfbj · 7 years ago

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Rev Kevin Nelson greets members at FBJ in the aftermath of the Jeffersontown Hate-Crime Shootings. (William DeShazer for The Washington Post)

“IN KENTUCKY, SHOOTINGS LEAVE A BLACK CHURCH AND THE WHITE COMMUNITY AROUND IT SHAKEN”

- DeNeen L Brown, The Washington Post, November 11, 2018

- https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/we-are-armed-now-in-kentucky-an-alleged-hate-crime-shakes-a-black-church-and-a-white-community/2018/11/11/baef5126-e239-11e8-b759-3d88a5ce9e19_story.html?utm_term=.20be25477b2e

JEFFERSONTOWN, Ky. — He came here first, to the front door of this historically black church 15 miles east of Louisville.

A white man tried to enter the First Baptist Church of Jeffersontown on a fall afternoon, not long after its Wednesday noonday Bible study had ended.

Surveillance video showed the man — later identified by police as Gregory Alan Bush — banging on the doors, which have been kept locked ever since a white supremacist killed nine black people at a church in Charleston, S.C., in 2015.

First Baptist administrator Billy Williams still shudders to think what might have happened if he had heard Bush, 51, knocking. “I would have welcomed him in,” Williams said.

Instead, Bush, who had a black ex-wife and a history of domestic violence, left the church and drove to a nearby Kroger supermarket, where police say he gunned down two African-American shoppers.

The Oct. 24 Kroger shooting was quickly overshadowed by the discovery of pipe bombs mailed to more than a dozen critics of President Trump and a rampage at a Pittsburgh synagogue that left 11 people dead. But the burst of racial violence in Jeffersontown has left this church and the predominantly white community around it deeply shaken.

That dread was still palpable on a November Sunday, as more than 200 church members arrived for the 11 a.m. service. A security guard waited outside, atop the steps to the brick church, which was founded 185 years ago by free blacks and freed slaves.

Inside, light streamed through the stained-glass windows as worshipers held hands and prayed. “Please don’t let the spirit of fear dominate our lives, but have a spirit of love that conquers fear,” the minister intoned.

Ushers smiled and greeted visitors. The choir sang. The minister preached. But there was one chilling difference about this Sunday service.

Before the Kroger shooting, which is being investigated by the FBI as a possible hate crime, church officials had been opposed to any of their 1,600 members bringing firearms into the sanctuary. But after it, Williams sought permission from First Baptist’s pastor, the Rev. Kevin L. Nelson, to ask members who work in law enforcement or have permits to carry weapons to bring their guns inside the church during services and Bible study.

“They used to leave them in the car,” Williams said. “No longer are they leaving them in the car.

“We are armed now.”

'It was so deliberate'

On the day of the shooting, Maurice Stallard was in the school supplies aisle with his 12-year-old grandson when Bush entered the Kroger at 2:46 p.m., according to Jeffersontown police.

He walked past dozens of white shoppers in the 50-aisle supermarket, police said, before he spotted Stallard kneeling in the rear of the store.

Stallard, a 69-year-old retiree, was shot in the back of the head as his horrified grandson watched. The boy was able to escape into the parking lot.

Pam King, who is white, was two aisles away buying Halloween candy when she heard the gunfire. She had no idea that it was Stallard, her longtime neighbor, being targeted.

“I couldn’t believe I was hearing gunshots because I was in a grocery store,” said King, who lives down the street from Stallard. “I was expecting the store to make an announcement to disregard the noise.”

Then she heard three more shots. “It was so deliberate,” she said. “It wasn’t bang, bang, bang. He stood there and looked at that man and shot him three more times with his grandson standing there.”

Police said Bush holstered his semiautomatic handgun and walked out of the store, where he fatally shot Vickie Lee Jones, a 67-year-old black woman, in the back of the head.

Bush walked by more white customers in the parking lot — allegedly telling one, “Whites don’t shoot whites” — before allegedly shooting at a black couple. Dominic Rozier and his wife, Kiera Rozier, had just arrived at the store to buy cupcakes for their son’s birthday.

Dominic Rozier, who police said has a permit to carry a concealed weapon, drew his gun and shot back at Bush.

The two exchanged gunfire in the parking lot, with bullets shattering car windows, before Bush fled in his car, police said. Neither Bush nor Rozier was injured in the shootout. Minutes later, Bush was stopped by police and arrested on a street adjacent to the shopping center.

Inside the store, King ran to a stockroom and called her husband, who works as a meat cutter at a different Kroger and happened to be off that day. “Her voice cracked,” Tim King, 59, recalled. “She said, ‘There is somebody shooting up here.’ ”

He raced to the store. It took hours for his wife and the other customers inside to file out, as police checked to see what each had witnessed.

“The lady was laying in the parking lot the whole time,” Tim King said. “It was so long you could see the blood soaking through the sheet.”

'No Guns!'

On Nov. 2, relatives of Stallard and Jones gathered in the back of a Jefferson County Circuit courtroom, where Bush was being arraigned.

He had been indicted by a grand jury on two counts of murder, one count of criminal attempt to murder and two counts of wanton endangerment in the first degree. Prosecutors said Kentucky could not charge Bush with a hate crime because the state’s limited statute does not apply to murder. But the FBI may bring federal hate crime charges against Bush.

FBI data shows hate crimes are on the rise. In 2016, there were 6,121 crimes motivated by bias against race, religion, sexual orientation, disability or gender — the highest number since 2012.

When Bush walked into the courtroom in an orange jumpsuit, with his hands and feet shackled, a man seated in the back stood up and yelled, “You piece of [expletive].”

In a hearing that took fewer than three minutes, Bush did not speak. His public defender, Andrew H. daMota, entered Bush’s plea of not guilty. The judge accepted the plea and continued Bush’s $5 million bond. Then Bush walked out of the courtroom surrounded by guards.

According to court records, Bush has a history of domestic violence against his parents, his brother and his ex-wife, who is African American.

Sheryl Bush married Gregory Bush in 1997, according to court records. They had a son in 1998, before separating in 1999. According to divorce records, Gregory Bush attempted suicide in 2000 while his 2-year-old son slept in a bed in the next room.

In 2001, Sheryl Bush filed a domestic violence petition, telling a court that when she went to pick up her son from Bush’s home, he threatened her and called her the n-word.

In 2009, Gregory Bush’s father, William Bush, filed a restraining order against his son, telling a court that Gregory Bush “put his hands around my wife’s neck and picked her up by her neck and put her down.”

The court ordered Bush to comply with mental health treatment and prohibited him from possessing a weapon. A judge wrote on the order, “No Guns!”

'Vickie's last song'

Mourners wearing pink and white walked earlier this month into the Church of the Living God Temple #45, where a sign outside declared: “Rest in Peace Vickie Jones. Blessed are they that mourn; for they shall be comforted.”

A police car sat guarding the intersection.

Inside, bouquets of white and pink carnations decorated the casket, where Jones lay. The words “Trust in the Lord” were pinned inside the casket — as well as a pink ribbon, signifying that she was a breast cancer survivor.

Jones, who was born in Louisville in 1951 and grew up amid segregation and the civil rights movement, had one daughter and two sons and 12 grandchildren. Her husband, George Lee, to whom she was married for 36 years, died in 2010.

Jones, who was a member of the Church of the Living God all her life, was one of the sponsors of the church’s annual breast cancer awareness program.

“Vickie loved everybody. She touched everybody in a positive way. She loved her family. She loved the Lord. She loved the church,” the Rev. A. Keith Smith told mourners.

In a sermon titled “Vickie’s last song,” Smith told the congregation that hate had “struck the city of Louisville, Kentucky, in a major way — Louisville, Kentucky, home of the Kentucky Derby and the home of Muhammad Ali.”

Amid a chorus of “Amens,” Smith continued: “This is not the 1940s, this is not the 1950s, this is not the 1960s, this is not the Jim Crow law days. These are the days where people of all races, all nationalities, all religions stand up together. We will not tolerate hate crimes anywhere.”

'Our neighbor, our friend'

In the integrated Louisville neighborhood where Stallard lived, the streets are lined with orange ribbons tied to mailboxes with notes that read: “We will miss you Maurice, our neighbor, our friend.”

Stallard used to stand in his driveway and greet neighbors — black and white.

“When we moved in 20 years ago, Maurice and Charlotte were one of the first families in the subdivision,” said the Rev. Charlie Davis, pastor of Hunsinger Lane Baptist Church. Stallard’s wife, Charlotte, “was our kids’ school counselor,” said Mendy Davis, who is married to the pastor.

Stallard retired from General Electric more than a decade ago. “He cared about his family, all his kids, and grand kids, and nieces and nephews,” Charlie Davis said. One nephew played basketball at Morehead State, a two-hour drive from Louisville.

Stallard “was at every game,” Davis said.

Pam King sat at her kitchen table last week, still horrified that she had heard her neighbor being gunned down — the beginning of a week of hate-fueled violence.

“I don’t recall anything like it in my lifetime: The [pipe] bombs. The Jewish center,” King said. “It was a 1-2-3 punch.”

Stallard and Jones, she said, “were killed because they were black. Someone goes to the grocery, and a family is planning a funeral because of the color of his skin.”

#Hate Crime #Rev Kevin Nelson #Billy Williams #Vickie Lee Jones #Maurice E Stallard

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selfcallednowhere · 7 years ago

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So a couple of days ago I learned a REALLY REALLY REALLY UNBEARABLY EXCITING fact about John which I for some baffling reason somehow did not know already.

It was a long rambling road to get to this fact! What started it was I was thinking about the picture that they used for him in the Most Beautiful People poll results, which honestly I don’t think is that great:

I mean he looks fine enough I guess, but I’ve just never been crazy about this shoot--I don’t think he looks that hot. And I was thinking that there are other pictures from right around that time where I think he looks much better, and one of those would’ve been the one I picked. But then I was actually looking at them and saw that it would’ve been pretty impossible to crop Flans out of any of the other ones cos they’re standing too close together, so really that’s probably the whole reason they picked this one (yes it is a crop, here’s the original:)

So then I thought of this picture, which is like in my all-time top-five pictures of him and I DEFINITELY would’ve used, but I couldn’t remember exactly when it was from, I thought it was sometime around that time though:

I thought I remembered what article it went with, this one where he’s talking about how he often starts writing a song by just sitting on his bed with an accordion and fucking around and waiting for something interesting to come out, but I couldn’t remember what the article was. I was all googling within the articles page on my site trying to find it but I couldn’t for some damn reason. Eventually I did, and it’s from 1992 and I was like “1992??? That is not what I picture him looking like in 1992 at all! WHAT.” and I felt all dumb for being so off on being able to recognize how he looked in different eras. Much later that day it occurred to me that maybe I was wrong about this being the article that the picture went with, maybe I was just conflating “interview where he talks about sitting on his bed playing accordion” with “picture where that’s what he’s doing,” and that maybe @statesongs had a scan of it on her amaaaaaaazing TMBG magazine scans Flickr, and yes she does and yes I was totally conflating the two things, it’s from an entirely different article from 2000. Which means it wouldn’t be possible for them to have used it in the poll cos that was two years earlier, but I at least felt somewhat less dumb for not being quite so off on what era I thought the picture was from.

So ANYway, backing up. when I was still trying to find the other article I tried doing a general search of it in case it was up somewhere else besides my site (even though really I know my site is pretty much the only place to get old articles unless they were posted in the last ten years or so, unless of course @statesongs does have a scan of it up!). I have search suggestions turned on, and with “John Linnell” one of the ones that pops up is “John Linnell teeth,” OMG. I lol’d. GOOD TOPIC.

But one of the other ones that turned up was “John Linnell net worth,” and I was like “Wait, is this an actual thing that people know?” and was just kinda curious about it actually. So I actually searched for it and it turned up this result which SHIIIIIIIIIIIT. I mean who knows if that’s actually anywhere close to true--@kittysneezes did tell me that there’s a running joke on Comedy Bang Bang that this site is always waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off and saying people are way richer than they are. I do know that his neighborhood is CRAZY expensive these days though, Wikipedia says “In 2015, houses in various parts of Windsor Terrace sold for about $1.2 million to $2 million in 2015, and apartments cost from $400,000 for a one-bedroom apartment to more than $1 million for a three-bedroom apartment” which WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. So y’know, who knows. But I mean even if he doesn’t actually have eight million dollars, the idea of him having any millions of dollars is...kinda weird for me, and not something I’ve ever really considered as a possibility before. But...it’s also pretty hot???

That is not the unbearably exciting fact though! (I told you it was a long rambling road.) I looked at a few more results for his net worth, and I found one saying in its like one-paragraph biography of him (who knows why they considered this worth mentioning when he was only there for a semester) that HE WAS MAJORING IN ENGLISH AT UMASS. WHICH IS WHAT I MAJORED IN AND ALWAYS WANT SO BADLY FOR HIM TO HAVE MAJORED IN. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I’M FLIPPING OUT Y’ALL. LIKE I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU HOW MOTHERFUCKING EXCITING THIS IS. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I had no idea what their source was, if it were even true, but the next day (not even trying to figure this out, just cos I felt like it) I was reading his pages on both Wikipedia and TMBW, and IT SAYS IT IN BOTH OF THOSE. For its source Wikipedia links to this interview with Flans, which I must’ve somehow missed. Still gotta listen to see what exactly he says about it.

Ant was all insistent that it can’t be right cos you can’t declare a major your first semester, but I looked at the UMass site and it didn’t say anything saying you can’t--it just said that you have to declare one by your third semester. (I can’t actually remember when I declared mine.)

@kittysneezes alerted me to this thing from a ‘94 Info Club mailing list, where he says that comp lit was one of his fav subjects, which is separate from English but y’know they’re like sister subjects so I WILL TAKE IT.

However, it sounds like he wasn’t planning to stay an English major--in this thing he wrote all about his experiences with school he says “I considered studying music as a major subject but the programme was rigid, so I took a year off. That turned into 27 years.” I’m just like “YOU SHOULD’VE STUCK WITH ENGLISH THEN.” (Also ohhhhhhhhhh my god, this is SO TYPICAL--”Well yeh music is my passion, I love it more than anything else in the whole world, but OMG the program for it is haaaaaaaaaaaaaaard, I’d have to do woooooooooooork, BETTER JUST LEAVE.”)

When I was still in touch with John Andrews (the Mundanes guitar player/primary songwriter), I asked him one time about John’s college experience, and he said “I think he mostly just stayed in his room and read a lot of books” and I was like “Yeh, sounds about right.”

Also! The college I went to, Smith, is part of something called the Five College Consortium, with four other schools in the area--it means students at one of the schools can also sign up for classes at any of the other four. And do you know what one of the other schools is? UMASS AMHERST. Soooooooo maybe if I’d been there 23 years earlier our paths could’ve crossed. I think about this a lot.

#tmbg #exciting times #john linnell #john being hot as fuck #*swoons*#accordion is the hottest instrument ever #pix #flansy #i am awesome #interviews

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buyingusedcar · 5 years ago

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New Pet Products, Medicine Showcased at Western Veterinary Conference

Las Vegas, – Horsing around in Las Vegas isn’t Normally like this. Dr. W. Leon Scrutchfield surrendered his secret would be to be fine ‘n simple when playing the horses, or in their own situation when playing with horses that suffer toothaches. Dr. Scrutchfield is a professor and chief of field services for large creatures, at Texas A & M University College of Veterinary Medicine – College Station. He gave a talk called “Equine Dentistry,” and was among 180 introducing veterinarians revealing new research for animal care in the 72nd Annual Western Veterinary Conference, Feb. 20-24, 2000.

More than 7,000 pet care professionals attended the seminar held in the Las Vegas Hilton and Riviera Hotels in what is arguably the biggest instructional veterinary convention in the country. In addition to the educational sessions, pharmaceutical companies, pet food manufacturers and companies which produce an assortment of pet toys and equipment for vets showed off their products. Scalpels were exhibited using plush stuffed toy cats and dogs, kitty litter was spread, flea products sprayed and at least one daring spokesperson even ate kibble for a skeptical vet who dared to inquire, “but does it taste good? ”

Here are some highlights:Dr. Gregory Hanson of Davis, Calif. explained that vets once treated pets for pain when they literally cried out for help, yowling or howling. “For one thing, we finally have the means to not wait long,” he explained. In addition, he pointed out that new research indicates pets may not display distress even when they’re experiencing severe pain. “They can’t tell us – and instinctively they just don’t express their pain. Instead their energies are directed at recovery. As an instance, a postoperative dog lying silently was until very recently supposed to be comfy. However, in reality that dog might not be comfortable in any way. As a livelihood our default must be to treat for pain unless the creature convinces us otherwise. ”

Hanson also spoke about the advantages of combining pain relief medications. Done properly and carefully, the effectiveness will increase and the potential for side effects may lessen.

“Ooops, missed that litter box,” is the number one pet behavior complaint, but little research has trickled out to ascertain why some cats think outside the box. Dr. Sharon Crowell-Davis and Dr. Wailani Sung of the University of Georgia – Athens are now in the process of compiling results from their still-to-be-published study.

At a sneak preview of her results, Crowell-Davis showed of these cats with box issues, four of ten pay their eliminations, in comparison with all the squeaky management group where seven of ten covered their excrement. Also, problem cats don’t invest as much time at the box sniffing about compared to cats that consistently reach their targets. This means if your cat isn’t covering up and isn’t sniffing its bathroom, see, you will soon have a kitty with poor aim. Crowell-Davis and Wailani additionally found most litter boxes to be too small.

Dr. Ken Bartels is on the frontier of laser medicine. He explained new tactics to deal with cancer without traditional chemotherapy or surgery. A special drug (called a photosensitzer) is injected intravenously to the pet and also manages to travel to the cancerous tumors where the vet points a laser light, aims and fires. The laser light activates the cancer fighting drug, and “bang zoom” the cancer cells have been blasted away. This treatment has been used with success on cancer of the nose cats and with skin and esophageal cancers in both dogs and cats.

Bartels, of Stillwater, Okla. is the president-elect of the Oklahoma Veterinary Medical Association, and also a long-time proponent of laser operation. He said in 1990 less than two dozen practices around the nation had laser engineering, and they were largely at veterinary teaching associations. Nowadays, there are approximately 700 lasers in practices across the nation. He supposes that the moment the year 2010, 90% of all veterinary clinics will share the cutting edge technologies, that's the ability to perform surgery without actually cutting with a scalpel.

Bartels suspects even elective surgeries, such as spay/neuters, will increasingly be performed utilizing lasers. “There’s less trauma to the body because the operation is less invasive, there’s less pain to the animal and normally a faster recovery,” he says. Possibly the most immediate and pressing use for laser surgeries can be for reptiles or birds. These critters are expert at masking illness, so often by the time that they ’re diagnosed, they might be severely sick. It’s no operation that necessarily kills birds or reptiles, it’s the strain of prolonged recovery – using laser gear, this becomes much less of a problem.

Unfortunately, since the average laser operates anywhere from $25,000 to $50,000, the cost of laser surgery is at least for now somewhat costlier than traditional surgery.

Even vets were tangled in a web of confusion, seeing private boxes in which 12 company reps pitched their sites. Some sites focused exclusively on veterinary clientele, others – like pets.com – are for e-commerce attractive to the public.

Brand-new is petplace.com, a virtual veterinary medical dictionary plus a source for preventative medicine and wellness programs, launched by pets.com.

Another new website, goodnewsforpets.com is really targeted to members of their pet press.

Chemical behaviorist Dr. Karen Overall from the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine – Philadelphia, talked in Good detail concerning obsessive-compulsive disease (OCD) in puppies. She introduced evidence that dogs may have hallucinations, demonstrating a videotape of a dog pouncing on fanciful mice. Dogs can also present OCD by chasing their tails, self-grooming, or pursuing imaginary flies. Overall additionally clarified separation anxiety, sound phobia and thunderstorm anxiety in dogs. She says in all situations, the evidence seems clear that the brain chemistry has been altered. She and other investigators are compiling evidence that indicates when medication or behaviour modification is demonstrated to be helpful, the brain chemistry returns to normal.

Just as brain chemistry levels may impact a pet’s psychological well being, there might soon be medical means to actually measure dominance aggression in dogs. Overall says pee display data shows different amino acid measurements in dogs that are aggressive. If nothing else that is evidence that something neurochemical is happening in these competitive dogs.

Dr. Thomas Goerblich of Munich, Germany was covering the conference for what amounts to the German version of Dog Fancy and Cat Fancy. He clarified , in Germany veterinarians are reluctant to be interviewed since vets aren’t permitted to advertise their practices, so that they ’re exceedingly cautious to not misconstrue anything they say to the press as self marketing. “It’s convinced not that way in the states,” he states. Goerblich, who's a veterinarian, was schooled in Germany but trained at the Chicago region. He states despite the fact that there are more pets in Germany than before (5.6 million adults and 5 million dogs), there are also more vets than previously, and lots of trained as vets simply can’t find a job.

Dr. Andy Eschner, manager of professional services at Iselin, N.J.-based Merial (manufacturer of animal health products, such as Frontline) talked about how synthetic pyrethroids (most often labeled permethrins) are potentially deadly to cats. All these are place on flea control products for dogs, that are mandated by legislation to have labels warning against usage on cats. The dilemma is that the packing might have that warning in small print, but resemble the packaging of Frontline or Advantage. Don’t be fooled. When used anywhere near cats these products are potentially very hazardous. Eschner points it out ’s potential that a chummy cat rubbing up against a medicated dog might be adversely affected.

Note: This guide is copyrighted by Steve Dale and can be applied as source material and for reference only. It can't be reprinted verbatim. Please contact Steve Dale at [email protected] if you have any questions.

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allisonswrittenwords · 5 years ago

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Or, “hey, look what my dad lets me do for his company!”

Previously, On Allison’s Written Words…

The booming home video market meant lots of smaller companies vying for those video store rental (and purchasing) dollars by releasing content through their own companies. Major studios had major movies, and smaller companies released special interest and B-grade films (or worse). However, those smaller companies had one thing over the major studios – their own children/family sub-labels. During the mid-1980s, Children’s Video Library and Hi-Tops Video competed for the interests of kids who liked films and shows featuring their favorite licensed characters. Both companies also had a hand in releasing “instructional” and “informative” videos.

Heck, they even shared a likable teen actor for those purposes.

Those companies, for a few years, were successful in their missions, but off in the corner, waiting to strike with its own content, was a company known for B-grade and soft core films…and its own children’s label.

The label even came with a child spokesperson of its very own. If he was likable…well, that’s debatable.

From Soft Core To “Just For Kids!”

Businessman Noel C. Bloom founded several home video distribution companies during the course of the booming 1980s home video market. Some of them are likely familiar to you – Artisan Home Entertainment (starting as U.S.A. Home Video in 1983, then International Video Entertainment in 1985, then LIVE Entertainment beginning in 1988), Family Home Entertainment (1980-2005), and Celebrity Home Entertainment. Celebrity had soft core adult films in its catalog, which was nothing compared to Bloom’s Caballero

It was this company through which a sub-label was created to distribute children’s films, both of the obscure and well-known kind. You could say that Family Home Entertainment had the children’s market covered, but this was a market saturated with competition. And besides, Celebrity was good for distributing obscure content, so there was a need for a children’s company to do the same.

Enter Just For Kids!

“The Name To Remember In Children’s Entertainment!”

Celebrity’s Just for Kids label was established in 1985, and distributed children’s programs and films, many of obscure nature, some international movies (including the Gamera movies, and many European and Japanese cartoons), and some very well-known content at the time, including Bravestarr, GI Joe: The Movie, COPS, and Filmation’s Ghostbusters. the animated series capitalized on the live action show from the 1970s, which has nothing to do with the 1980s films and cartoons that are more commonly known and embraced.

Related: List of content released through Celebrity’s Just For Kids (it is a lengthy list!)

The “Just For Kids” videos were book-ended with segments featured Noel Bloom Jr., the son of Noel Bloom. Beginning about 1987 or 1988, Little Noel (and his braces) introduced the video and reminded kids about how to adjust the tracking on their VCR for the best picture quality, and to stick around for the end of the program, so you – yes you – could find out how to receive a free “Just For Kids” videocassette!

Be jealous kids. His dad owned a company made him the spokesperson for it before he was in his teens. What were you doing at eleven years old?

But before all of that (including braces), there was…

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This, my friends, is everything 1980s. The furniture, the television, the clothes, the hair. I remember watching this video during the earliest days of YouTube (about 2007), and was just…wow. I was into nostalgia at that time, but it took years to fully appreciate what made certain aspects of it super special.

Everything about this is just top notch cheese, my friends. Right down to the bang up acting. I had no clue that the starting of a home video in the family VCR could have a tractor beam-type effect, but the 1980s were a different time.

This was about 1987-1988, and by 1989, the introductions with Noel started. I’d say these probably went through 1990, 1991 at the absolute latest. Content was released by Celebrity through the early 2000s, but the Noel Jr. intros seemed to stop by 1991 itself.

Marvel in the collected works of Noel Bloom Jr.!

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All of his girlfriends love Maxie’s World. Remember that, kids.

I will say though, seeing this clip and him talking about The Noozles brought back memories of watching the show on Nickelodeon in the 1980s and 1990s. Pinky was super annoying!

Hey Kids, Want A Free Video?

Well, yeah. Who doesn’t like free stuff?

Noel’s promises of a free Just For Kids video could be yours, if you send in the Proof of Purchase from six of their videos. From what I’ve gathered over the years, that “free video” is really a sampler of trailers for different Just For Kids releases. So if you were figuring on getting a copy of GI Joe: The Movie, and bought a bunch of Gamera and Maxie’s World videos just to bask in the glory of a freebie…you would be very disappointed.

Image: Anime Hell

Admit it, you really want something with animated Little Noel on the cover.

But hey, here’s the address.

Because I wouldn’t be doing my best job ever without researching this PO Box, I Googled it. Nothing comes up. At all. I mean, something about the UPS Store in Woodland Hills, California as a way to get a secure private mailbox comes up, but that’s pretty much it.

The videos were usually dubbed in EP, sold at budget prices, and were usually selected episodes of television shows, as well as compilation films of episodes. Television series never saw completed releases.

Noel really should have taken up a complaint with his dad about that. Kids don’t like to be left hanging. Heck, his girlfriends (all of them!) don’t want to be disappointed!

Did “Just For Kids” Actually End?

Well, not really. The parent company for Just For Kids, Celebrity Home Entertainment, filed for bankruptcy protection in 1991, but it didn’t officially close down until 2001. To say that the Noel introductions pretty much went away by that time is accurate – Noel would have been 13-14 by that time, so I’m sure he wasn’t talking about Beverly Hills Teens and Maxie’s World and drawing in his “friends” with a opening logo tractor beam by then.

Celebrity Home Entertainment closed down for good in 2001, and Noel Bloom Sr.’s other companies – Artisan Home Entertainment (and its previous incarnations, as well as Family Home Entertainment), are all owned by Lionsgate as of 2003. His company Caballero Home Video still operates today (and has since 1974, one of the oldest pornographic film studios still operating. Another label, Monterey Entertainment (established in 1979, the second sub-label of his company) is now under the ownership of BayView Entertainment as of 2019. This company originally was a home video distributor, but these days, has expanded into independent theatrical distribution, film festivals, and other venues including television, digital delivery and home entertainment markets

As for Noel Bloom Jr. played basketball, and coached a high school team in California, though there isn’t muuch to be found for him. We’ll wish him well – he probably was a nice kid that was lucky enough to promote kiddie videos. Who wouldn’t want to be able to do that?

But Wait, There’s More!

I’ve tried (in vain) to find the full video of the Sampler Collection (60 minutes of glory!), but alas, it is no longer on YouTube. However, this little collection of clips is basically that, but without the funny in between segments of 10-year-old Noel in a Lakers uniform.

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As for this video, this is from 1990 and clearly features an older version of Noel, trying to do his best British accent.

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*facepalm*

And Now, You!

Did you ever watch/rent/own a “Just For Kids” video? Do you remember Little Noel and his braces, introducing the company’s offerings? Or do you just remember that gloriously cheesy segment that was clearly filmed in a 1980s living room?

So, in the course of my research, I realized I would be remiss if I left our Family Home Entertainment – this was the OG of children’s home video companies. And since it has an oh-so-special connection to Just for Kids, it will be next week’s heavily-researched article.

Exciting, right?

Until then, have a great day, and, um…bow before your Dark Underlord of Quality Children’s Entertainment!

"Hey, Look What Celebrity's Doing Just For Kids!" - The story of yet another children's home video company, in a sea of budget sub-labels in the 1980s! Or, "hey, look what my dad lets me do for his company!"

#1980s #Celebrity Home Video #Home Video companies #Just for Kids #Noel Bloom Jr.

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globalupdates · 5 years ago

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Dubai: It was 30 years ago today (April 25, 1990), when the Hubble Space Telescope was launched.

Over the last three decades, this eye in the sky has covered more than 6 billion kilometres.

In the proces, the orbiting observatory gave us some of the most amazing photos. But more than the stunning pictures, it has also greatly expand our knowledge of the universe.

So what makes this instrument special? Here's all you need to know about the Hubble Space Telescope.

1: What is it?

As the name suggests, the Hubble Space Telescope is a telescope in orbit. An astronomical tool in the sky. It’s also a spacecraft that can be controlled from the ground.

UAE’s Mars Hope Probe reaches launch site on Japan island

February 15, 2017: Astronauts replace Hubble sensor

First of its kind tear-drop shaped star and that's not the only thing special about it

2: Why is this day special for the Hubble space telescope?

Today, April 25, 2020, the Hubble Space Telescope celebrates 30 years since its launch.

3: How did the idea start?

Hubble's history started from the first proposal of a space telescope by Lyman Spitzer in 1946, During the 1970s, the US National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and the European Space Agency (ESA) began planning for such a project.

Hubble saw five servicing missions in the 1990s and 2000s. During its years in orbit, it made many significant observations and discoveries Hubble.

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

4: What’s the advantage of using a space-based telescope?

It’s deemed necessary so astronomers could transcend the blurring effects of the earth’s atmosphere and take clearer images of the Universe, the likes of which man has never seen or done before.

Hubble's orbit above the Earth means scientists are able to avoid the distorting atmosphere to make the very high-resolution observations essential in understanding planets, stars and galaxies. Hubble was designed as a high-standard flagship mission and has paved the way for other space-based observatories. Notably it can access the otherwise invisible ultraviolet part of the spectrum, and also has access to areas of the infrared not visible from the ground.

5: How did the Hubble Space Telescope add to our knowledge of the universe?

This telescope-spacecraft, has delved deeper into the early years of the Universe than was ever thought possible.

It has played a critical part in the discovery that the expansion of the Universe is accelerating.

It has probed the atmospheres of planets around distant stars.

It’s been one of the most successful scientific collaborations.

It's a massive success, with long-term impact on engineering, science and culture.

It has played a critical part in the discovery that the expansion of the Universe is accelerating.

6: Where did it get its name from?

The Hubble Space Telescope is named after Edwin Powell Hubble (1889-1953), one of the great pioneers of modern astronomy.

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

7: What's in this flying telescope?

At the heart of Hubble are a 2.4-meter primary mirror.

It also has a collection of five science instruments that work across the entire optical spectrum — from infrared, through the visible, to ultraviolet light.

Hubble is equipped with cameras, spectrographs and fine guidance sensors.

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

8: Can astronauts fix it when something wrong happens?

Yes.

The observatory was designed to be serviced in space, allowing outdated instruments to be replaced.

This is because the telescope was placed into a low-Earth orbit and uses modular components so that it can be recovered on subsequent missions.

That way, faulty or outdated parts are more easily replaced before being re-released into orbit.

9: How many times has it been serviced?

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

Five. While the US Space Shuttle program was still active, five missions have repaired, upgraded, and replaced systems on the telescope, including all five of the main instruments.

10: What problems were sorted on the Hubble Space Telescope?

Following its launch however, astronomers quickly realized it wasn’t working correctly. A defect in the mirror resulted in blurry images of object. Astronauts repaired the telescope in 1993 by adding an instrument to correct for the lens aberration — essentially eyeglasses for Hubble.

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

That was the first of five service missions. Others added new cameras, repaired gyroscopes, and replaced the batteries. The last Hubble service mission was in 2009, prior to the end of Shuttle flights in 2011. Hubble has long outlived its original life span, and it’s due for replacement soon.

Astronauts work on Hubble during a service mission in 1999. Image Credit: Supplied

11: Where does it get its power from?

The computers and scientific instruments onboard are powered by two 2.45m x 7.56m solar panels.

12: Does it have on-board batteries?

Yes.

The power generated by the solar panels is also used to charge six nickel-hydrogen batteries that provide power to the spacecraft for about 25 minutes per orbit while the Hubble flies through the Earth's shadow.

13: How do scientists control or manoeuvre it?

The telescope uses an elaborate system of direction controls to improve its stability during observations.

A set of reaction wheels manoeuvres the telescope into place and its position in space is monitored by gyroscopes.

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

14: How does it “lock” on stars or celestial objects?

The spacecraft uses Fine Guidance Sensors (FGS) to lock onto guide stars. This ensures the extremely high pointing accuracy needed to make very accurate observations.

15: Does the Hubble have any rockets or rocket fuel on board (to control its orientation, or correct its altitude)?

No.

The telescope does not have any rockets on board. Boosting the spacecraft’s orbit can only be done during servicing missions, when the telescope is attached to the Space Shuttle.

But since the Space Shuttle program was discontinued, the Hubble Space Telescope has been on its own.

A Hubble Space Telescope image of a group of interacting galaxies called Arp 273 Image Credit: Nasa via New York Times

16: How big is the Hubble Space Telescope?

Dimensions: Length: 13.2 meters, diameter: 4.2 meters

Mass: 11,110 kg (at the time of launch)

In addition, it also has two solar panels, each measuring 2.45 x 7.56 m.

17: How much did it cost to build and launch it?

From its original total cost estimate of about $400 million, the telescope cost about $4.7 billion by the time of its launch.

Hubble's cumulative costs were estimated to be about $10 billion in 2010, 20 years after launch.

$ 10 b

Estimated cumulative cost of the Hubble Space Telescope

18: What are the instruments on board the space telescope?

The Advanced Camera for Surveys (ACS)

The Wide Field Camera 3 (WFC3)

The Cosmic Origins Spectrograph (COS)

The Space Telescope Imaging Spectrograph (STIS)

The Near Infrared Camera and Multi-Object Spectrometer (NICMOS)

Fine Guidance Sensors (FGS)

19: How high is it above the sky? What is its orbit?

It hovers over the Earth at approximately 570 km above the ground, inclined at 28.5 degrees to the Equator.

The spacecraft whirls around our planet at 28,000 kilometres an hour and takes 96 minutes to complete one orbit.

20: How many kilometers did it cover so far?

As of spring 2018, the telescope had made more than 163,500 trips around our planet. Those trips correspond to about 6.4 billion kilometres. This April 2020, it would have completed 175,175 trips around the Earth, corresponding to 6.86 billion kilometres.

Images from Nasa’s Hubble Space telescope show the Galaxy MACS1149-JD1, located 13.28 billion light-years away from earth. Astronomers have zoomed in closer than ever to the “cosmic dawn” of the Universe’s first stars. Pinpointing this period of star birth — which gave rise to oxygen and other elements in the Universe — is crucial for astronomers chasing down the beginning of everything. Image Credit: AFP

21: How many gigabytes of data does it generate?

It’s designed as an observatory in space, and gathers data through its various instruments.

The orbiting observatory generates more than 80 gigabytes of data each month.

As of spring 2018, the Hubble Space Telescope has made over 1.5 million observations of more than 43,500 celestial objects.

This year, 30 years’ worth of observations has produced more than 154.93 terabytes of data.

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

22: What’s the scientific value of the Hubble Space Telescope?

Astronomers using Hubble data have published more than 15,500 scientific papers, making it one of the most productive scientific instruments ever built.

23: Why is it important to look out into space? How far can it see?

It’s important to look out into space, because it allows us to look back into time, close to the moment of the "Big Bang".

Astronomers have made the most detailed study yet of an extremely massive young galaxy cluster using three of NASA's Great Observatories. This multi-wavelength image shows this galaxy cluster, called IDCS J1426.5+3508 (IDCS 1426 for short), in X-rays recorded by the Chandra X-ray Observatory in blue, visible light observed by the Hubble Space Telescope in green, and infrared light detected by the Spitzer Space Telescope in red. This rare galaxy cluster, which is located 10 billion light-years from Earth, is almost as massive as 500 trillion suns. Image Credit: AP

24: How does this time-space thing work?

Looking into deep space, billions of lightyears away, gives us insights into the beginning of time and creation, as we know it.

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

For a simple illustration of how it works, let’s consider the Sun. It is the nearest star to us, about 93 million miles away. Given that distance, it takes about 8.4 minutes for the light of the Sun to reach the earth.

Another example: Proxima Centauri. It’s a small, low-mass star located 4.24 light-years away from the Sun in the southern constellation of Centaurus (from its Latin name means the "nearest [star] of Centaurus". This object was discovered in 1915 by Robert Innes and is the nearest-known star to the Sun.

LIGHT-YEAR

The light-year is a unit of length used to express astronomical distances and measures about 9.46 trillion kilometres (9.46 x 1012 km) or 5.88 trillion miles (5.88 x 1012 mi). As defined by the International Astronomical Union (IAU), a light-year is the distance that light travels in vacuum in one year (365.25 days). It's a unit of distance, not a unit of time. The light-year is most often used when expressing distances to stars and other distances on a galactic scale, especially in non-specialist and popular science publications. The unit most commonly used in professional astrometry is the parsec (symbol: pc, about 3.26 light-years; the distance at which one astronomical unit subtends an angle of one second of arc).

A star's spectacular death in the constellation Taurus was observed on Earth as the supernova of 1054 A.D. Now, almost a thousand years later, a super dense object - called a neutron star - left behind by the explosion is seen spewing out a blizzard of high-energy particles into the expanding debris field known as the Crab Nebula. X-ray data from Chandra provide significant clues to the workings of this mighty cosmic "generator," which is producing energy at the rate of 100,000 suns. This composite image uses data from three of NASA's Great Observatories. The Chandra X-ray image is shown in blue, the Hubble Space Telescope optical image is in red and yellow, and the Spitzer Space Telescope's infrared image is in purple. Image Credit: AP

25: So what you see is not always what you get?

In astronomical terms, yes.

It means the light we see emitted by Proxima Centauri the moment we look at it on a cloudless night was actually emitted 4.24 years ago. So at that same moment, this star could have moved to another place in the sky, and is no longer where your eyes actually found it.

This is distance tricking the eye.

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

Here’s a simple video of how Hubble’s ability to look into “deep space” allows us to understand the universe better:

SPEED OF LIGHT

Metres per second: 299,792,458 Kilometres per minute: 1,080,000,000

26: What is the farthest star ever seen by Hubble?

Icarus is the farthest star known to man, spotted by Hubble Telescope. Icarus, whose official name is MACS J1149+2223 Lensed Star 1, is the farthest individual star ever seen. It is only visible because it is being magnified by the gravity of a massive galaxy cluster, located about 5 billion light-years from Earth.

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

WHAT IS A LIGHT-YEAR?

The light-year is a unit of length used to express astronomical distances and measures about 9.46 trillion kilometres (9.46 x 1012 km) or 5.88 trillion miles (5.88 x 1012 mi). As defined by the International Astronomical Union (IAU), a light-year is the distance that light travels in vacuum in one year (365.25 days). The term light-year should not be misinterpreted as a unit of time. Rather, the light-year is most often used when expressing distances to stars and other distances on a galactic scale, especially in non-specialist and popular science publications. The unit most commonly used in professional astrometry is the parsec ("pc", about 3.26 light-years; the distance at which one astronomical unit subtends an angle of one second of arc).

27: From where is the Hubble being controlled?

The science operations are co-ordinated and conducted by the Space Telescope Science Institute (STScI) in Baltimore and at NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center (GSFC) in Greenbelt, Maryland, USA.

The European Space Agency maintains staff at STScI.

The Goddard Space Flight Center

The Goddard Space Flight Center is a major NASA space research laboratory located approximately 6.5 miles northeast of Washington, D.C. in Greenbelt, Maryland. Established on May 1, 1959 as NASA's first space flight center, GSFC employs approximately 10,000 civil servants and contractors.

Liza Goldberg, 16, a student at Atholton High School in Columbia, Md., is seen at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center. She developed what may be the world’s first satellite-based alert system showing where mangroves are threatened. Image Credit: Washington Post

28: So what really makes the Hubble Space Telescope special?

Since its deployment on April 25, 1990, from the payload bay of Space Shuttle Discovery (STS-31), it has been repaired five times. Astronauts had to train on earth for months to do their repair mission in space. When it was launched, astronomers soon found a serious, though not fatal, flaw.

If the Hubble was like all other astronomical instruments lofted into orbit on rockets, it would have had to live out its operational life with that flaw, working at a fraction of peak efficiency. But not Hubble. It’s not like any other space telescope. It was designed to be serviced by astronauts visiting it on the Space Shuttle missions. That’s one reason why it was placed in a low earth orbit, so it could be accessible by the spacewalkers.

A galaxy about 23 million light-years away is the site of impressive, ongoing, fireworks. Rather than paper, powder, and fire, this galactic light show involves a giant black hole, shock waves, and vast reservoirs of gas. This galactic fireworks display is taking place in NGC 4258 (also known as M106), a spiral galaxy like the Milky Way. This galaxy is famous, however, for something that our galaxy doesn't have - two extra spiral arms that glow in X-ray, optical, and radio light. These features, or anomalous arms, are not aligned with the plane of the galaxy, but instead intersect with it. The anomalous arms are seen in this new composite image of NGC 4258, where X-rays from NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory are blue, radio data from the NSF's Karl Jansky Very Large Array are purple, optical data from NASA's Hubble Space Telescope are yellow and blue, and infrared data from NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope are red. Image Credit: AP

29: What’s next after the Hubble Space Telescope, what will replace it?

Its planned successor is the James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) which is scheduled to be launched next year, in March 2021.

30: Would the Hubble be retired eventually?

Probably, but not too soon. It may remain active for years to come.

Keeping Hubble operational would serve two purposes. First, it’s a hedge against potential issues with the Webb Telescope, due for launch in 2021.

Unlike Hubble, Webb will be positioned far away from Earth at the L2 Lagrange point.

That’s a stable orbital location that keeps the Earth between the telescope and the sun. It will be too far away to service effectively, so making sure the Hubble works as a backup could be smart. There will also be limited time on the Webb Telescope for astronomers, so keeping some observations on Hubble could free up time for studies that can only be completed by the more powerful Webb Telescope.

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

The James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) will launch on an Ariane 5 rocket from French Guiana, then take 30 days to fly a million miles to its permanent home: a Lagrange point, or a gravitationally stable location in space. It will orbit around L2, a spot in space near Earth that lies opposite from the sun.

L2 ORBIT of James Webb Space Telescope

The James Webb Space Telescope is planned not to be in orbit around the Earth, like the Hubble Space Telescope is. The Webb telescope will actually orbit the Sun, 1.5 million kilometers (1 million miles) away from the Earth at what is called the second Lagrange point or L2. By way of comparison, Hubble orbits 550 kilometres (340 mi) above Earth's surface, and the Moon is roughly 400,000 kilometres (250,000 mi) from Earth.

BONUS: If something goes wrong with the Hubble Space Telescope, could it be fixed again?

It's possible. The Hubble is a byproduct of the US Space Shuttle program, which was retired in 2011.

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

Now, there’s another planned service mission. It’s still in the early stages, but officials think that a private space company could have a vehicle capable of going on a Hubble refurbishment mission.

(Sources: NASA, ESA)

Image Credit: NASA/ESA

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xeford2020 · 5 years ago

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Celebrating 20 Years of Holiday Nights

A Half Century in the Making, the Journey from Yuletides to Holiday Nights What we know and love today as Holiday Nights did not spontaneously appear in 2000 when we first opened Greenfield Village on December evenings for an immersive holiday experience. Holiday Nights has evolved and grown based on many experiences and inspirations from decades of village “Christmases past.” and the work of many talented people.

The ability to transport our guests to a different time and place is most powerful after dark as the modern world that constantly pushes closer to our borders can be temporarily pushed away. When all is said and done, Greenfield Village provides the most perfect “set” in which to bring the past alive. With over 300 years of history represented, the possibilities are endless; a world where Charles Dickens’, A Christmas Carol, and It’s a Wonderful Life can seamlessly collide. A place where a small town from the distant past comes to life for several hours on December evenings, bringing forth the magic of the holiday season.

Holiday Nights in Greenfield Village is a classic example of “if you build it, they will come.” What began with conservative hopes for several hundred people in attendance has continually grown year after year.

Information Booklet, "Christmas at Greenfield Village 1964." THF112439

The holiday experience in Greenfield Village has a long history. As early as the mid-1960s, Village buildings were decorated both inside and out for the holiday season. Historic Christmas recipes were prepared in the village kitchens in fireplaces and wood burning stoves. Early on, all the guest experiences were limited to daytime and varied from guided tours, to full access, to tour on your own. Decorations were very elaborate, and included many collection items, but were not always based on sound historical research. Every building got a bit of Christmas, whether it would have been celebrated or not. During this period, attendance was vigorous, especially on December weekends.

Guests at Clinton Inn (Eagle Tavern) During "Yuletide Evening in the Village," 1975. THF144738

By the mid-1970s, new evening holiday experiences, called Yuletide Evenings, were introduced. Guests had the choice of a formal dinner in either the newly constructed Heritage Hall (now the Michigan Café) or the Clinton Inn (now the Eagle Tavern).The experience included horse drawn wagon, or if conditions allowed, sleigh rides into the Village, and depending on which package was purchased, a tour of 4 different decorated historic buildings, either before or after dinner. By the early 1980s, the Clinton Inn became Eagle Tavern, and the evening program changed to become an immersive 1850 dining experience much like the program offered today. Eventually, the Village tour portion of the evening was discontinued, offering a dinner only experience.

In the early 1990s, a concerted effort had been made for some years to reinvigorate the daytime program. By paying attention to historical accuracy, but at the same time, broadening the scope and allowing for a wider interpretation of how Americans began to celebrate Christmas in the 19th century, more engaging programs were offered. Hundreds of artifacts were chosen to fit out the dining rooms, parlors, and where appropriate, Christmas trees. Additional research was also done to lift-up the historic cooking programs and infuse a “living history” approach to the historic structures with the addition of period clothing. All this further supported the stories of the diversity of the American Christmas celebration. This work laid the foundation for the core content of Holiday Nights that we rely on today.

By the late 1990s, for a variety of reasons, the daytime visitation to the Greenfield Village Holiday Program had begun to decline while the evening program attendance remained strong. Based on the inspiration and fond memories of the wonderful candle and lantern lit buildings decorated for the holidays, a new program was proposed to re-create that opportunity through the Educational Programs class offerings. Though on a very small scale that served less than 100 people, this program reminded us of what could be possible and got the creative process rolling.

Brochure, "Twelve Nights of Christmas" in Greenfield Village, 2003. THF144736

The Twelve Nights of Christmas, what would later be called Holiday Nights, debuted for the Christmas season of 2000. The daytime “Holiday” program remained in place, and the evening program was basically an evening version. This early version was very quiet, and very dark, as none of the village restoration had taken place yet. Most of the activities were based inside the buildings. Despite the slow start, the potential was fully realized, and creative and physical growth began. With the village closed for the holiday season of 2002 for the renovation, there was time to regroup, brainstorm, and make plans. The new and improved version for the “new” village in 2003 saw expanded outdoor activities, more music, and an ice rink that featured an artificial ice surface. Even with enhanced programming elements, the program was still not really filling the space as it could.

Musicians Performing at "Twelve Nights of Christmas" in Greenfield Village, 2003. THF133593

During these early years, it was apparent to the village programs team that to achieve the level of experience we were aspiring to, the event would need to be broken down into production areas, and each would need its own level of care and attention to detail. Decorating the village, designing and deploying the lighting, planning the historic food demonstrations, food sales and retail, staffing and training, musical and dramatic program casting and rehearsing, dressing an army of staff, firewood, lanterns, and communicating the entire thing, all was captured and pulled together with the Holiday Nights manual. This work became the go-to document for what needed to be done when and where, once preparation for the evening program began. This tool also became invaluable in planning and producing subsequent years of the program. So, as ideas came forth as to how to expand and improve the Holiday Nights guest experience, the program manual format made it possible to incorporate the new elements and move the experience forward.

A very memorable off site staff mini-retreat to a local book store cafe in 2004 laid the foundation for the program we know today. Building on the sound historical content of our village holiday celebration, our success with Holiday Nights thus far, along with a commitment from the institution, we created and refined the combination of guest experiences that today, makes Holiday Nights truly one of the nation’s greatest holiday experiences. The fireworks finale, the end of the evening procession and sing-a-long, a visit from Santa, a real ice skating rink, immersive food and drink stalls in the center of the Village, a greens market, storytellers, over 100 staff in period dress as well as a wide variety of additional dining experiences and top quality live music, has put Holiday Nights on the map over 20 seasons.

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The program continues to grow and evolve. For my part, it’s been a privilege and source of pride to see how far we have come and how we have come together to achieve such greatness. I look forward to the road ahead and what the next 20 years may bring. Inspired by the evolution of Holiday Nights? See it for yourself - limited tickets for 2019 remain.

Jim Johnson is Curator of Historic Structures and Landscapes at The Henry Ford and Director of Greenfield Village.

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ericfruits · 6 years ago

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The future of entertainment

IN HOLLYWOOD LINGO, Disney+ launched hot. On blitz day, as Disney called the eve of its television-streaming service’s debut on November 12th, a massive marketing campaign reached a climax. Buses in its theme parks were wrapped in ads, employees in Disney shops wore QR codes for people to sign up with smartphones and ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars” trailed the excitement to come. By the end of the first day, 10m people had signed up—beyond Disney’s highest expectations, it said. Its servers struggled to cope. The company rushed to fix the glitches, as viewers devoured “The Mandalorian”, a specially made live-action “Star Wars” spin-off.

For $6.99 a month—slightly less than the cost of a cinema ticket—viewers in America, Canada and the Netherlands can now tap the world’s most valuable entertainment catalogue. As well as new original content, they can watch anything from “Snow White” to “Avengers: Endgame” and, thanks to Disney’s $71bn acquisition this year of 21st Century Fox, all 662 episodes of “The Simpsons” (America’s favourite cartoon family was also enlisted in the ad blitz). Behind the scenes, a new recommendation algorithm hoovered up enough user data in a few hours to start sending millions of personalised viewing suggestions, says Kevin Mayer, who runs Disney’s international and direct-to-consumer businesses, including Disney+.

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Going into on-demand streaming is an epochal shift for the 96-year-old company. Like its Hollywood rivals, it has built an empire on controlling access to films and TV shows, which were released in dribs and drabs—on cinema screens, broadcast networks and cable channels. That model, the entertainment industry has concluded, is no longer viable in the internet age. In October AT&T, which owns WarnerMedia, the former Time Warner, unveiled HBO Max. The new service will give viewers full online access to HBO programming, as well as to other valuable content including the libraries of Warner Bros, New Line Cinema and Japan’s Studio Ghibli, plus new original shows. NBCUniversal will parry with Peacock, a mainly ad-supported streaming platform also expected next year. Smaller services such as CBS All Access and Showtime have already piled in. On November 1st Apple, a tech giant with entertainment aspirations, launched Apple TV+, its own streaming service with several star-studded original shows.

“We are surprised it took them all so long,” quips Ted Sarandos, chief content officer of Netflix, which began the streaming revolution in 2007. But now they are here. It is, in the words of Brian Roberts, chief executive of Comcast, a cable behemoth which owns NBCUniversal, “an important moment, as many parties across broad industries have entered the competition for content creation”.

That competition should benefit consumers, who can expect a surfeit of high-quality fare. For media companies and their shareholders, it will be brutal. Billions of dollars will get torched. Some endings will be happier than others.

The big bang theory

The entertainment business’s original script was simple. People paid for cinema tickets (and later video rentals) to watch films, and advertisers paid networks for access to viewers of their TV shows. That began to change in the 1990s. Hit series like “The Sopranos” and “Sex and the City” on HBO, a cable channel then owned by Time Warner, proved that people would pay extra for compelling television. But HBO still relied on “sequential” releases of weekly episodes. It was also a wholesale proposition, sold in a bundle of pay-TV channels. “The big bang”, says Barry Diller, chairman of IAC, who in 1986 founded Fox Broadcasting as a rival to the three incumbent free-to-air networks, ABC, CBS and NBC, came in the mid-2000s with Netflix and, soon after, Amazon Prime Video, the e-commerce giant’s streaming service.

The industry’s initial response to the challengers was to pawn its crown jewels. Netflix paid hundreds of millions of dollars for rights to stream beloved sitcoms like “Friends” or “The Office”. HBO struck deals with Amazon to supply it with programming such as “Six Feet Under”. This allowed the streaming upstarts to rack up subscribers and splurge on more content. In time, they began producing their own programmes, notably in 2013 with “House of Cards”. Netflix released the entire first season of its political drama at once, ushering in the age of “binge-watching”.

Meanwhile, the rest of the business was being reshaped in other ways. Many media groups were folded into vertically integrated conglomerates that controlled both the production and distribution of content. In 2013 Comcast completed its purchase of NBCUniversal. In 2015 AT&T, a telecoms company, bought DirecTV, a satellite firm, and in 2018 paid $85bn for Time Warner, owner of HBO and the Warner Bros studio. Disney eschewed vertical integration but expanded horizontally. Its megadeal with 21st Century Fox was the fourth for its boss, Bob Iger, who had earlier snapped up Pixar (an animation studio), Lucasfilm (maker of “Star Wars”), and Marvel Entertainment, home of Marvel Comics.

This flurry of consolidation created a handful of giant content owners, with massive back catalogues and a willingness to spend heavily on old shows and new programming (see chart 1). In October HBO Max reportedly agreed to pay over $500m for the American rights to air 23 old series and three new ones of “South Park”, a satirical cartoon owned by Viacom. It was one of the biggest on-demand-licensing deals of all time. The same rights went for $192m four years ago. As one media executive puts it, with more than a hint of admiration, “AT&T is not screwing around.” Since 2010 just three groups—WarnerMedia, Disney and Netflix—have ploughed a total of $250bn into programming (see chart 2).

As content-related costs have surged, the lucrative old business model has receded. Netflix has made viewers less willing to pay over the odds for a big bundle of pay-TV channels, which generated margins of around 50% and accounted for as much as three-quarters of profits at media conglomerates like Time Warner, Disney, Viacom or News Corporation. Streaming as a stand-alone business either loses money or at best, breaks even. Netflix books accounting profits but has yet to turn free cashflow positive (though it expects to soon). It has accumulated $12bn of long-term debt despite making no acquisitions. Media firms moving into streaming have “swapped a quarter for a nickel and paid $5 for the privilege,” sums up one executive.

There are three ways to make streaming pay. Firms can accumulate deep ranks of loyal subscribers at home and abroad. They can raise prices. Or they can spend less on programming.

Winning over millions of subscribers is getting harder. Once consumers have paid for broadband and for a simple bundle of news and sports, it takes only three or four streaming services at current prices before the bill adds up to not much less than what they coughed up for old pay-TV. Companies are jumping into streaming in a peak-attention economy, notes Tim Mulligan of MIDiA Research. Consumers have no more spare leisure time for new TV apps. Reed Hastings, boss of Netflix, has named “Fortnite”, a hit video game, and sleep as his main competition.

In practice, his and others’ streaming services will probably have to claw viewers away from each other. Even then, customers may not stay. Switching costs are low. People might sign up for Disney+ to see “The Mandalorian”, leave and then come back a year later for a new Marvel film.

If building an enormous subscriber base looks hard, what about raising prices? Netflix did so in the spring, when its standard plan went up by $2. There is chatter that Disney may need to raise its price for Disney+ sooner rather than later. But that risks driving subscribers into rivals’ arms.

Again, Netflix serves as a cautionary tale. In the third quarter it added just 500,000 American subscribers, 300,000 fewer than expected. Earlier this year it saw their number decline for the first time in 12 years. And that was before Disney, Apple and others entered the fray. Globally, Netflix now expects to add 26.7m subscribers this year, down from 28.6m in 2018; 90% of its subscriber growth comes from abroad, where it is potentially more expensive to win viewers because of the need to tailor content for each market.

That leaves spending on programming as the last lever on profits. This, says Mr Roberts of Comcast, will need to be pulled back somewhat over time. There is no sign of that yet. According to Bloomberg Intelligence, a research firm, the average cost of producing a single episode of a scripted drama is close to $6m, twice the going rate of three to four years ago. This year 16 firms, from Disney to Quibi, a short-form mobile-video platform, will spend a total of $100bn on content, according to UBS, a bank. That is roughly equal to the sum invested in America’s oil industry this year.

Goofy?

Disney expects its streaming service to break even by 2024, once it reaches 60m-90m subscribers. The plan is for two-thirds of these to come from overseas. Some on Wall Street worry that the firm could lose money on Disney+ for years to come. Streaming may encourage a faster rate of “cord-cutting”, as people cancel pricey pay-TV subscriptions, cannibalising the company’s mainstay cable profits.

Mr Iger has as good as admitted that Disney is betting the farm. But, as he explained in his recently published autobiography, it has little choice. Its rivals appear to share the sentiment. AT&T expects to invest $2bn in year one of HBO Max and to earn no revenue at the start. Over time, the hope is, investment will go down and revenue will rise; the service is also expected to break even in five years.

Still, a shake-out looks inevitable. There is much uncertainty about who will be left standing. The prevailing view in the industry is that Netflix will be hard to dislodge. It has amassed 158m global subscribers and created a brand that appeals to all ages and tastes. Its recent purchase of rights to “Seinfeld” will help make up for the loss of “Friends” and “The Office”, two of its most popular shows which AT&T and Comcast, respectively, plan to pull from Netflix. It has 47,000 TV episodes and 4,000 films in its American catalogue, according to Ampere Analysis, a research firm. That is far more than the 7,500 episodes and 500 films that Disney+ will offer in its first year. It will spend $15bn or so this year on original content. Mr Sarandos says there are no plans to adjust Netflix’s strategy in response to all the new competition.

Disney, with its must-see shows and profits that are the envy of the industry, is also here to stay. So in all likelihood is HBO Max, which can tap its parent company’s 170m customer relationships. “We could not do this without AT&T,” says Bob Greenblatt, chairman of WarnerMedia Entertainment, who oversees the group’s direct-to-consumer business. “There is no way that we could so easily reach tens of millions of people on our own.” As with Comcast, whose Peacock service should find a nest in the new media landscape, entertainment is becoming an important source of revenue for AT&T. The phone giant will also use HBO Max to acquire and retain wireless customers. Smaller content players such as Discovery and Sony Entertainment will have to identify niches. CBS and Viacom (which are merging) are planning an arms-dealer strategy—of supplying content to anyone who wants to buy it.

To xfinity and beyond

Over time, firms that can aggregate the various streaming services in bundles with simple interfaces will reap rewards. Consumers are overwhelmed by the volume of content coming their way. They are increasingly fed up with having to search for shows on various platforms. Internet service providers such as Comcast and Verizon can help curate this video onslaught. Comcast’s Xfinity Flex, a new service for broadband-only customers, for example, offers a seamless way to use more than 100 video and music services. A voice-controlled TV remote can search for, say, “the episode in ‘Seinfeld’ where George claims to be a marine biologist”.

Then there are the technology giants. For them, producing entertainment is not an end in itself, says Matthew Ball, former head of strategy at Amazon Studios (and an occasional contributor to The Economist). In Amazon’s case, TV is a way to retain Prime subscribers and sell more shoes and loo roll. For Apple it is about selling hardware and expanding its range of services.

Many media executives, particularly the veterans among them, worry about what this means for the future of high-quality content. In their view, much of the film and TV business is now run by clueless outsiders. They cite Apple’s “Stories to Believe in”, as its first TV shows were mawkishly trailed, as evidence of naivety. “The Morning Show”, a drama about working in television starring Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon, got mixed reviews. “The show, and the service, don’t need to exist,” concluded Rolling Stone magazine. Despite kudos for backing critically acclaimed shows like “Fleabag” and “The Marvelous Mrs Maisel”, Amazon’s longer record in TV draws similarly tepid reviews. “Apple doesn’t know what the fuck they are doing and Amazon knows less,” concludes a former film-studio bigwig.

Top management at AT&T wants HBO to produce a lot more programming. In practice, that could include less rarefied fare that might appeal to America’s heartland, not just its coastal elites. HBO’s unabashedly elitist old-timers are not keen on the new strategy. The decision by John Stankey, head of the telecom firm’s entertainment unit, to ramp up production prompted a raft of departures, including that of Richard Plepler, HBO’S head, who gave the green light to “Game of Thrones”. “Stankey wants HBO to compete with Netflix,” says Rick Rosen, a founder of the Endeavour Agency. But many people worry that there is a big risk of HBO’s brand losing its distinctiveness. “After 20 more years of doing it,” jokes one streaming boss, “John Stankey will be a great creative executive.”

It would nevertheless be a mistake to conclude that outsiders will never get things right. Jeff Bewkes, former chief executive of Time Warner, once dismissed Netflix as “the Albanian Army”. Now Hollywood considers the company a legitimate film studio. It is also easy to overstate the role of senior executives at media firms’ parent companies. Much of the creativity in Hollywood comes from lower down, from outside big firms and from informal networks of writers and stars, some with their own production companies, including Ms Witherspoon and Michael B. Jordan.

Tinseltown has a way of absorbing outsiders. Media executives point out that Apple and Amazon are already adapting. At first they put tech types in charge of their TV operations but later installed seasoned film folk with strong links to the creative world. On November 12th it was reported that Mr Plepler is in talks with Apple about an exclusive production agreement. Like many a moneyman seduced over the years, Jeff Bezos, Amazon’s boss, seems star-struck. He goes to all the awards ceremonies, including the Golden Globes—above and beyond what even movie-studio bosses feel obliged to, remarks a former studio executive.

As long as money keeps flowing, creativity should flourish. So far, shareholders appear happy to let it flow. Netflix’s share price has fallen from its peak in mid-2018 but the company remains highly rated relative to earnings. Disney shares have risen by 28% since the company revealed the details of Disney+ to investors in April. AT&T and Comcast are also up this year.

Even before the taps are tightened—as they inevitably will be—the streaming wars have reshaped media well beyond video entertainment. The shift from linear schedules to fragmented, on-demand consumption makes it harder for any one company to exert a big influence on people’s viewing, says Bob Bakish, chief executive of Viacom. Every company needs to adapt accordingly, he adds. It is also weakening the link between entertainment and television news. That is most visible in Rupert Murdoch’s decision to sell much of 21st Century Fox to Disney, a deal which closed in March. He continues to control News Corp, containing newspapers, and Fox Corporation, a broadcaster that owns Fox News and other assets.

Silicon Valley, season two

The wild card hanging over the industry is what the tech giants will do next. Some people think Apple could cut its spending on entertainment or even exit the business. It is seen as more unpredictable than Amazon, which seems committed to making and showing content. Yet the overriding view in Hollywood is that, with their untold piles of cash and their valuations of $1trn or so apiece, the tech giants are only just getting started. They could easily swallow a media firm or two.

Trustbusters may stymie any such move by Alphabet, Google’s parent, which already owns YouTube. Amazon might find it hard in practice given scrutiny of its rapid expansion (and Jeff Bezos’s ownership of the Washington Post). Apple might have an easier time. When Mr Bewkes was looking to sell Time Warner a few years ago, talks were held with Apple as well as AT&T. There has been much chatter about Mr Iger’s comment in his autobiography that, if Steve Jobs were still alive, Disney and Apple would have combined (Disney, for its part, nearly bought Twitter in 2016).

For all Mr Sarandos’s fighting talk, even Netflix could be a target if the streaming wars affect its growth and the firm’s finances come under pressure. As dizzying as the pace of change has been in media in the past few years, it is unlikely to let up. ■

This article appeared in the Briefing section of the print edition under the headline "Power to the people"

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