#its just fucking rude at that point dude. we have spoken about it. face to face. whats ur fucking excuuuse

[fruityutas]

requested ~ no

not proofread

wc: 2.3k

genre ~ fluff, highschool au

synopsis ~ badboy!jisung is smitten with you after catching a glance of you on the first day of school, so the dreamies help him to make you his by the end of the year

warnings ~ fighting, cursing, underage smoking (don’t smoke children!! Or adults just don’t smoke in general)

note ~ this is a continuation of something another blog wrote! i got full clearance from them to write this and i’m finally getting around to it! @itsarealshitshow thank u again for letting me do this!! here’s the original post :)

“so what’s the plan for today, sung?” haechan says a little too loud for jisung’s comfort. the younger looks about, bug-eyed, for people who could have heard. “dude, that sounded like we plan on killing someone.” haechan just shrugs and pops the gum in his mouth. jisung shoves the boy lightly, causing him to choke. sniggers erupt from the group of boys that sit in the farthest corner of the lunchroom. the dreamies are what they call themselves, though everyone finds it a bit funny. “what was that for, you brat?!” haechan’s friends erupt in laughter, causing the nearby table to look over. the table that just so happened to be where your friend group sat. jisung makes eye contact with you and smiles. you send a timid one back before your friends roll their eye at the group’s antics and begin to leave. yeri takes your arm and pulls you away from the table before you can say anything about it.

science drags on so you ask to use the restroom to see if you can find jisung in the halls. not the most educated choice but you have to at least speak to the boy. the hall pass in your hand is your ticket to getting out of trouble with any teacher, and the excuse of you being new. passing the rows of lockers proves no sight of the boy you seek until you get to the last ones near the back entrance of the school. There was jisung and his friends at the end, talking about some game while huddled around what you presumed to be a switch. you stop abruptly, which causes your sneakers to squeak. all six of the boys look up at you with eagle eyes. you’re a deer caught in headlights and not a word is uttered for a good minute. “you better not rat us out, goody two shoes.” haechans’ the first to speak. you shake your head and walk up to them. “i’m skipping class too so it really wouldn’t bring me any luck to do that.” they all look at you confused. “yeah yeah why would i skip class i get it. i’m looking for jisung, actually.” the boy in question turns red as a tomato and starts to stutter. the others snicker at his flustered state. you turn to jisung and smile sweetly. “i know my friends are always rude to you guys but i wanna get to know you. sorry for their behavior, also. they don’t know when to keep to themselves.” your face is now red as well, mostly because up close, jisung is absolutely breathtaking. “that’s for sure.” haechan’s mumble makes its way to your ears but is quickly muffled by jaemin smacking his arm.

in the next few weeks, you got a lot closer to jisung and his friends much to your friends’ dismay. “they’re all trouble, y/n. why do you hang around them?” you roll your eyes at her. “they’re just high school boys, they literally laughed at a fart noise the other day. they aren’t any harm to anyone.” she scoffs at you. “i thought you’d be at least a little smarter than this, but apparently not. i can’t be friends with someone who hangs out with unscholarly people.” you’re taken aback at her statement. “whatever yeri, if you don’t wanna be friends anymore then i don’t care, have fun being a bore.” you hurried away before she could say anything back to you. you were glad she didn’t want to speak with you anymore, all she ever talked about was school. you needed to find jisung.

in the next few weeks, you got a lot closer to jisung and his friends much to your friends’ dismay. “they’re all trouble, y/n. why do you hang around them?” you roll your eyes at her. “they’re just high school boys, they literally laughed at a fart noise the other day. they aren’t any harm to anyone.” she scoffs at you. “i thought you’d be at least a little smarter than this, but apparently not. i can’t be friends with someone who hangs out with unscholarly people.” you’re taken aback at her statement. “whatever yeri, if you don’t wanna be friends anymore then i don’t care, have fun being a bore.” you hurried away before she could say anything back to you. you were glad she didn’t want to speak with you anymore, all she ever talked about was school. you needed to find jisung.

you knew to find him in the back of the gym around this time of day. it was oddly quiet in there today, probably due to them not wanting to get caught for the third time this week. “jisung.” a small reply was heard along with the laughter of his friends. you walk over to where they were sitting and sit next to jisung. you lean against his shoulder and he reads you instantly. “what’s wrong?” you sigh and shuffle to get more comfortable. “yeri and i are no longer friends. all she does is be rude about the fact that i’m hanging out with you guys and i got tired of it. so she said she didn’t want to be friends with me and then she called me dumb! the audacity of her.” all six boys bust into giggles. the look on your face is unamused, and the boys only laugh more at it. “listen, y/n, she was probably right about us. we are trouble. i bet you didn’t know jisung beat up some kid yesterday because he was talking about you.” you snap your head to jisung, who is sheepishly looking down. “he was saying gross things! i can’t let someone speak of you like that, y/n.” you sigh and force him to look up at you. “jisung, you don’t have to protect me.” he pouts cutely, “but i do! i have to.” you blush at the thought of him protecting you. “but why?” now it’s jisung’s turn to blush. “i like you…” it comes out as a mumble and you almost don’t catch it. the boys whoop and holler while the two of you sit in each other’s flustered presence. you scoot closer to jisung and whisper in his ear, “i like you too, you know.”

the next days are filled with teasing from the group and sweet gestures from jisung. holding hands in the hallway, kissing at your locker (which more often than not turns into making out in the janitor’s closet), and him buying your lunch.

“y/n!” an unfamiliar voice rings in the hall and all of you turn to see a guy running up to you. you recognize him from your science class, but you’ve never really spoken with him, so you’re just as confused as they are. “this is for you.” he turns to look at the rest of the group with a look of disapproval before turning back to you. “uh, thanks i guess. what’s your name again?” his face flashes disappointment before returning to a happy one. “ilhoon, from science class?” you nod in agreement before he winks at you and walks down the hall. “what the fuck was that?” jisung’s deep voice grumbles in his chest, the vibrations reaching you due to his figure hugging yours. “i honestly don’t know, sungie. lemme read this note.” you open up the letter and begin to read out loud. “this is for your eyes only, cutie. i know we haven’t spoken much, but i want to get to know you so how about we go on a date?” jisung scoffs at that. “the way this kid thinks he’s getting a date with you. i’ll take care of it baby.” you point him a look. “park jisung, i can handle my own thank you. i’ll just tell him that i’m dating you and he’ll back off.” jisung stays silent but rolls his eyes in response.

jisung keeps seeing that kid in the hallway, and everytime they make eye contact, he receives a scowl from him. the gall this kid has, to think that you’d go on a date with him. finally managing to corner him, jisung asks what he thinks he’s doing. “i’m trying to ask y/n out, park. now get out of my way.” scoffing, jisung yanks the boy’s arm. “now listen here, she’s taken. by me. so don’t even think about it ilhoon.” “i’m not scared of you, ya’know! you think you’re tough but you’re not.”

“i think you should shut up if you know what’s good for you.” haechan’s quick response makes his presence known, along with the rest of the dreamies. ilhoon rolls his eyes. “this is between me and jisung, brat.” haechan tsks at the boy, “well, you asked for it kid.” ilhoon looks confused before a harsh punch is delivered to his cheek. his head whips around from the force and he doesn’t have time to recover before jisung is swinging his other arm at him. a sickening ‘crack!’ is heard by the group as the boy wails in pain. “definitely a broken nose. good job sung.” jaemin pats him on the back as they walk away. jisung looks over his shoulder and yells out, “don’t talk to y/n again, got it?” he doesn’t bother to acknowledge a response from ilhoon.

lunch is busy as always, though the table that your little group sits at is in the back corner of the lunchroom. it provides a nice space away from everyone else where you can all enjoy each other’s presence. “jisung why the fuck did you break this kid’s nose?” your harsh voice cuts the air as soon as you are close to the table. his face goes pale while the rest of the boys burst into laughter. “i, he was trying to get with you! i’m your boyfriend and he was talking shit about you being with me!” you sigh in guilt and scoot yourself close to him. “sungie, you’re my boyfriend ok? i don’t want to date anyone else. i just don’t want you getting in trouble.” he blushes at your words of affirmation and nuzzles his head into your neck. the rest of lunch goes by smoothly, and before you leave the boys go out to smoke (even though you always nag at them to stop). “how many times have i asked you guys to stop killing your lungs?” laughs all come from their mouths as they walk past you. jisung gives you a slightly guilty look before joining his friends in their endeavors. you sigh and stand with them until they finish, which doesn’t take longer than 10 minutes. jisung walks you to your class before heading to his, a sweet gesture he always did.

word got around that he broke a kid’s nose, and he does get into trouble for it. three days suspension and four days of detention after that. you know he will be skipping detention just as much as the principal so you fail to understand why he was even given detention.

the first day he’s out was boring to you, but you went to his house right after school with the other boys and got to hang out. the second and third days were boring as hell, but the day jisung returned was very… interesting. Jisung hadn’t entered the classroom yet this morning, so you sat alone next to his desk in the back. ilhoon enters the classroom and searched for someone, and when they aren’t there he heads straight for you. “hey y/n.” you give him a blank-faced look. “uh yeah?” he smirks a little, though it’s hard for him presumably because of the broken nose. “now that park is ya’know, facing the consequences for being an asshole, do you wanna go on a date?” you almost cackle in his face, but you keep it to yourself. what in the world is he thinking? “listen ilhoon, since apparently, you didn’t get the memo that jisung punched onto your face, i’m gonna have to spell it out for you. i do not want to go on a date with you, and i never will. you really could’ve avoided getting your nose fucked up if you had just realized that not every girl in this school wants to fuck you.” he scoffs at you and grabs your arm, squeezing rather hard. “listen here, brat. you’re not so bad as you think you are just because you’re dating jisung. so i’m gonna ask you again. are you gonna cooperate with me or do i have to train you to be a good girl?” he’s suddenly jerked back, and hard. the collar of his shirt chokes him and jisung slams him to the ground. while he’s gasping for air, jisung leans down close enough to breathe on his face. “listen here, brat. my girlfriend is not a dog to train, and more importantly, she isn’t yours and won’t be. ever. so stop trying, and if you ever so much as breath in her direction wrong i will do so much more than break your stupid fucking nose, got it?” ilhoon nods so fast you think his brain is knocking around in his head before he gets up and sits in his seat. jisung scoffs at the action and sits down, taking your arm in his hold gently, checking for injury. “are you ok baby? he didn’t hurt you did he?” you shake your head before kissing his nose for reassurance. “no, i’m fine, thank you.” he pecks your lips before turning to face the board, just in time for the teacher to walk in.

maybe jisung was a bad influence, but that didn’t stop you from loving him. and in the end, jisung did get you to be his way before the end of the year.

[plush-rabbit]

Can I Ask You Something?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

You were online a week later.

It was a boring day, with a slow start and by night, you were starting to feel restless, your feet bouncing and an empty bag of chips rests on your nightstand. You were itching for something to do, anything to distract but no show or game could hold your attention. You throw your head back and gnaw at your bottom lip.

Your fingers tap against the keyboard, and with a glance at the time, you pull up the calendar for the group time slots and with a fairly positive outlook that that you wouldn’t run into the other team members, you booted up the game, and started a simple mission but even then your attention couldn’t be held. The game had already lost its spark for you.

You admit that you reacted childishly in response to being yelled at. You were always sensitive, you cried too much and took everything personally even if you tried not to but for some reason it just hit different when he had yelled at you.

You were so angry with him at the time. But when you awoke the next day, you were angry with yourself. You made that dumb post and now you had to hold off for a month to show that his words didn’t hurt you- you had a point to prove, you didn’t want to seem as someone who reacted so childishly.

You thought you would miss the game but having not played for a period of time, you were starting to enjoy your time. You slept a bit earlier, your back wasn’t sore from hunching over and you had started to pick up old hobbies that you dropped when you got sucked into this game. Picking it back up, the game no longer felt the same. You remember you could get lost in this game for hours, you liked the customization options, the weapons, and the soundtrack was pretty good, but for now as you wandered around a forest, looking for a crystal that wouldn’t be of any real use to you seeing as you had already decided to quit the game for good, you were grateful for the distraction.

But as the clock ticked on, you had already grown bored, feeling your joints become sore and a headache forming. You were about to exit out of the game and pray that none of the members would see that you were active but then a ‘ding’ startled you awake. You peeked at the corner of the screen, a familiar icon popping up. You frowned, your shoulders slumped and you debated with yourself on whether you should open the message or not but your curiosity won over.

<Tomaraki>

>Are you quitting the game or not?

“Blunt as always,” you thought to yourself, your fingers already typing at the keyboard.

<User_Name>

>Yeah:P

His reply came a second later.

<Tomaraki>

>Why?

You wanted to type, “Why do you care?” You really did. You had the words on screen, the cursor blinking back at you, but you couldn’t force yourself to press the ‘Enter’ key. The corner of your mouth twitched and you backspaced, the message disappearing and replaced by another.

<User_Name>

>I don’t know. I’m kinda sick of it, you know? The user base is p toxic and I know that can be said for most games but I don’t know┐(´～｀)┌

>Plus after taking a break and coming back to it,,, the game doesn’t feel the same anymore

>I’m kind of bored of it

<Tomaraki>

>That’s stupid

You let of a scoff, rolling your eyes at his answer.

<User_Name>

>I have been known to be pretty dumb

>I’m sure you’ve called me stupid before too lol

You watch as the three dots bubble up and down the screen, signifying his reply is being typed out and having no other form of entertainment, you take in a deep breath and with butterflies flapping around in your stomach, you type out more before he can reply to your original message.

>Will you be fine without me?

>You won’t miss your bestest pal uwu

On the other side of the screen, Shigaraki narrows his eyes. His eyes shine dangerously, and he’s positive if you knew who were talking to, you’d be shaking and begging for you life. Or perhaps you’d be dead. He’s not sure.

<Tomaraki>

>I have better ‘friends’ than you

“Ouch.” You cringe inwardly. “Strike one.”

<User_Name>

>Wow, rude much??

>Well if I’m quitting, do you want my stuff? I’ve racked up a decent amount of gold and other stuff:P

“I sound like I’m dying and writing my will, stop being weird about it. You never even meet the dude,” you mumble to yourself, grateful that the voice chat function was off. “Oh my god. He could be like super old or something”

<Tomaraki>

>Does it look like I take handouts?

“Is that a strike two?” You chewed on the idea of your cheek. “If I have to ask, it probably was.”

<User_Name>

Can I ask you something?

<Tomaraki>

You just did

<User_Name>

:////

You were about to type out your question, the four words staring back at you unblinking. It would be weird, right? Of course it would be. And even if you did ask him that, the odds of him accepting would be slim. Plus, if he did reject, that would be strike three and you really didn’t want to strike out so much.

<Tomaraki>

>Well?

<User_Name>

>Um,,,

>How old are you?

You threw your head into your hands and let out an agonized moan. Maybe you should just delete your account now. You don’t even know the guy’s name and he doesn’t know yours. So you could just delete your account and that would be it. You’d never have to speak to him ever again.

<Tomaraki>

>You’re weird

You start laughing.

<User_Name>

>Says the guy who would tell other players to be careful who they’re talking to

>Who are you? Light Yagami?

<Tomaraki>

>That’s a shit reference

<User_Name>

>You got it tho

>(ʃƪ¬‿¬)

<Tomaraki>

>Why do you want to know?

“You have nothing to lose really,” you try to convince yourself as a way to just get to talk to him more.

<User_Name>

>I don’t know

>After a while, I always thought of you as a friend

>The other members sorta liked me, but I think it was more of them putting up with me

>But I thought we were beginning to form a friendship so I don’t know

>I guess a dumb part of me thought we could’ve been friends outside of the game:P

Shigaraki stares at the screen in disbelief. You must not have much or any friends at all if you thought he was being friendly. He’s positive that he would kill you if he knew you in real life. Probably right away if he met you on the street or maybe he’d take you as a hostage. He’s sure that he’d kill you but now he’s not sure when.

<Tomaraki>

>You really are dumb

<User_Name>

>I can’t tell if you mean it or not

>Knowing you, you probably do

>Can I say good-bye to you? Like facecam wise?

He’d kill you on sight.

<User_Name>

>You don’t have to turn your camera on!! I guess, as my last like dumb wish, I wanna say bye?

>Pleaseee（/｡＼)

>I’ll promise to log out afterwards

Shigaraki stares at your messages, trying to gauge at what you’re trying to get at. Do you really want to just say bye? Who the hell gets so emotional in a fucking game? But he would be lying is he said he wasn’t at least a bit curious to see what you look like. Maybe if he’s lucky you’ll be attractive and he could probably jerk at the thought of you before he goes to bed.

<Tomaraki>

>I’m not showing my face

You smile at his answer. It’s the best that you were hoping for and you start to brush your hair out of your face, checking the mirror on your nightstand to see if you look presentable.

<User_Name>

>Fine by me

>It’ll be quick, promise:)

And soon he’s staring at the pop-up screen asking if he’d like to request a video call from you. He’s tempted to click no. He cranes his head behind him and once he’s certain that the door is closed, he accepts your call.

You pop up on screen. You’re cute, that’s as much as he’s willing to admit. You adjusting yourself, putting a strand of hair behind your ear before you realize that the call has been accepted. You look startled, and a shade of pink fills in your cheeks. You giggle nervously, waving a hand at the screen.

“Ahaha, hi!” You giggle nervously and he’s pretty sure you’re already regretting this decision. “So like I promised to keep this short and all, so I will.” You looked determined; you stand a bit straighter and take in a deep breath. You remind him of an anime character, someone with exaggerated movements and he’s positive that you’ve confessed your feelings to someone before in that same action.

“Now, now,” his voice freezes you in place, he reminds me you of snake, slithering towards their unassuming prey and you’re pretty sure that’s what he’s trying to convey, “what’s the rush? I thought we were “bestest friends”.” His voice is sickly sweet, taunting you with words that you’ve spoken. His words make you nervous, your hands clenching together and your stomach forming knots.

And suddenly it’s clicked in your mind that he wants to make you feel uncomfortable. He’s probably getting off at the thought of it. And while he is succeeding at that, you don’t want to lose whatever game he’s playing.

“Ha! You admitted it.” You swallow the lump in your throat and flex your fingers. “Okay bestie,” the way you say the word is like you’re trying to bait him into something, and even you’re not sure what you’re leading him into, “I gotta ask. Are you an old man? You sound kind of creepy. Not like a pervy creepy but like you’re gonna kidnap me and murder me in your basement kind of creepy.”

He laughs and you decide that you want to hear more of it- even if it does sound eerie.

“Do me a favor? If you do end up kidnapping me, can you at least bring me a smoothie from BlueBird’s?” You test out your luck, hoping that he’ll play along so you’re not the only talking and maybe it’ll disrupt whatever ruse he was planning.

“What flavor?” He sneered, playing at this sick roleplay that you made up.

You smiled brightly, as if you had gotten one over him, and surprisingly, he didn’t hate your smile. He’s seen all sorts of smiles directed towards him- crazed, trying to get into his good graces, smiles that held murderous intent but yours just looked happy, happy that you were talking to him. Illuminated by a yellow glow, his sneer looks more twisted, his upper lip curling in a twisted way and crimson eyes narrowed with revulsion.

“Mango, please and thank you.” You nodded your head, your smile wasn’t gentle as it was before, it was now playful, as if you wanted to continue this whole kidnapping scenario. He wanted to see how long this conversation would go before you said goodbye. For good. “Anyways, I said I’d make this quick and I will. I—”

“I’m not an old man.”

You laughed at his answer, covering your smile with your hand, and you looked up at him, your eyes brimming with mischief and excitement.

“Okay. And I’m not some elderly person either.”

“Yeah dumbass, I can see that.”

You crossed your arms and you continued to smile at him. “I get that we’re besties and all, but do you really have to keep insulting me?” You pouted your lips, before they broke out into a toothy smile, it was a bit forced but it was only to show that you were joking around with him.

“Is there any other type of friendship?” He genuinely sounded a bit curious.

“Mm, maybe?” You tilted you head to the side and he had a fleeting thought that you reminded him of a cat. “I mean, when I’m with my friends, we joke a lot but we don’t really insult each other too often.” You frowned a bit, your eyebrows furrowed before returning to the screen, giving out a half smile and shrugging your shoulders. “Thin skin, I guess.” A pause was in the air, too uncomfortable for your liking. “Are your friendships like that? Insulting, I mean.”

He hesitated for a second before replying, his voice drenched in fake nonchalance, “That’s a dumb question.”

You took that as a clue to not dwell on the subject any longer. You nodded to yourself forgetting that you were screen, only to hear him chortle on the other side.

“Are you agreeing that it’s a dumb question?”

You stretched your mouth into a nervous smile, heat lighting your cheeks as you racked your brain for a solid excuse on why you nodded to yourself. “Um, yeah?” You didn’t sound confident in the slightest but Shigaraki was curious on how you would save your own skin this time even if this conversation was rather dull. “Like, I guess it would make sense that you said that.” You brought your hands up, and shrugged them, your fingers curling inwards. “It was you who like really enforced the rule about not talking about your personal life so it makes sense that you wouldn’t want to talk about your IRL friend groups.” You leaned further back, your pillows providing comfort against the hard wood that was your bed frame.

No noise came from him other than that of fabric being moved around and scratching at the microphone. “Did you really just say ‘IRL’ instead of ‘in real life’?” He sounded smug about it, as if he had proof that you were a total dweeb. “I never took you for one of those people.” He said ‘those people’ as if it left a sour taste in his mouth.

You let out a nervous laugh, before it grew into a snicker with your eyes shut. “First of all, ‘IRL” is faster to say compared to ‘in real life’ so jot that down. Second of all,” you tilted your chin upwards, giving you a false sense of superiority, “you’re the only always going on about “eat shit and die” and “suck my dick”,” your voice dropped an octave, a poor imitation of the man who hide behind a black screen. “So if I’m one of those people, then you’re like the poster boy of a gamer gatekeeper.”

“It’s not my fault other players are shit.” He breathed out.

“Oh yeah, the other players are shit; it totally isn’t you acting better than everyone.” You rolled your eyes, shaking your head, your tone teasing.

“I’m glad you agree,” he replied, letting out huffs of air through his nose.

It grew silent once more, and this time you weren’t uncomfortable with it, it had actually felt nice. Comfortable, even. Well at least as comfortable as it could get when you couldn’t see the other game but he could see you and all your mannerisms. You clasped your hands together, intertwining them, your attention focused on the black that took up nearly all of your screen, save for your own square that held you on the left hand corner.

“I think,” you started out, the words heavy on your lips, “I think I’m ready to say goodbye.” Once you started, you couldn’t stop. A part of you wished he would interrupt and maybe ask for your email or phone number so you could continue to keep in contact, but you knew that wouldn’t happen. Whatever this was, this odd one-sided friendship, stayed and died here. “It was fun talking to you. Even if you were a dick.” You gave the man a smile, you hoped that it was seen as happy, teasing one. “I liked this one-sided friendship. Even if it hadn’t lasted for long.” You bite down on your lips, your teeth dragging against your dry, bottom lip and you reached over to your nightstand, grabbing your chapstick, rubbing the tube with your fingers before clenching it in one hand. “It was nice knowing you Tomaraki. Take care, okay?”

You didn’t wait for his reply- you knew that you wouldn’t get one. You scrolled your mouse of to the telephone outline, and as you were about to click it, his voice rasped out, telling you to wait. Startled you pulled back, the mouse jerked downwards, moving past the outline and you stared at him, eyes wide and head cocked to the side, waiting for him to speak further.

He hadn’t known why he shouted for you to wait. He didn’t even want to talk to you in the first place, it was your promise that you would leave him alone that even convinced him to accept your request but here he was, barking at you to wait as you stared at him with owlish eyes and a closed mouth as you gave him the floor to speak. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know why he sounded so frantic at the thought of you leaving and then quitting the game, any form of communication getting erased within minutes.

“I,” he started out, grateful that the screen was black on his end, his hands coming up to pick at his neck, “What’s that?” He was going to kick himself later, he was sure of it.

You tilted your head, your eyes narrowing before landing on the tube in your hand. “This?” You held the tube upright, a confused smile gracing your features. “It’s chapstick. It’s uh-” you turned the tube over, looking for the label where it stated its flavor- “It’s vanilla honey flavored.” You opened the tube and rubbed the chapstick on your lips, smacking them together. “Why? You looking for recommendations?”

He decided to go for a truth, knowing that it wouldn’t give anything away. “I have dry lips.”

“Oh.” You pursed your lips, and you scratched at the area where your jawline meets your neck. “I’m not knowledgeable about the different types of chapsticks, I usually like to get the ones that have a nice flavor. I had this peppermint one but I lost it. Are you drinking enough water? That should help too. You could also try lip scrubs. You don’t have to buy them, you could always make them at home but you’d need brown sugar for a rougher feel.” You rambled on, moving your hands around, and his eyes stayed trained at your moving hands, your voice growing distant. He could only hum in response as you continued to talk and mention stores that sold lip scrubs.

“Uh, Toma? You there?” You asked, your hands clenching and bringing them closer to your chest.

He raised his eyebrows at the sound of a nickname. “Toma?”

“Hah, uh yeah. Tomaraki is too long, I mean unless you want me to call you something else?” You seemed invested with continuing the conversation and he could understand why. You always craved attention- always undermined your skills, all so someone could praise you. But why did he want to continue this conversation? Was it simply because he had someone talk to him about mundane things, things that didn’t carry so much weight? Was it because you treated him as if he were a person first, rather than a villain?

“No. No I don’t mind.” His voice came out softer than he expecting, than you were expecting given that your eyes widen, your mouth pulled into an ‘o’ shape before you smiled gently at him, your lips turning slightly upwards.

“Okay.” You held your breath for a second. “Do you wanna call me by my name?” Your voice was soft, matching his tone from earlier.

He wanted to snap at you, asking why he would even want to but he couldn’t bring himself to. He didn’t know how to answer you without snapping. But you took pity on him, his silence deafening and you told him your name, you voice sweet and heating him up from within, the heat pooling in his stomach before travelling upwards into his chest, a momentary blast of warmth before it faded away. He tested your name on his tongue, the word heavy and foreign on his tongue. He repeated your name, the odd feeling being replaced by familiarity.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” You smiled, your tone playful but still soft, as you sank deeper into your mattress, your legs aching in protest from being in a still position for so long.

He didn’t have a comeback. He remained silent, repeating your name in his head, the tone of your voice when you asked him if he had wanted to know and when you spoke it, invading all of his thoughts.

“You know,” you started out, stifling a yawn behind a hand, “if you had wanted to continue this conversation you could’ve just said so. I don’t mind talking to you.”

“You’re tired.” He opted to avoid confirming or denying your accusation.

“It’s late, of course I’m tired.” He suddenly took notice of the way your eyes were starting to droop, how your eyes would widen, forcing them to stay open.

“You should go to bed.” His voice was stiff, he didn’t want to continue this conversation but he saw you frown, your lips downturned, noticing the difference in tone but you quickly smiled, any features of disappointment being erased.

“But this conversation was just getting good,” You whined, another yawn coming out, tears pricking your eyes. “Hey, I got a dumb idea,” you said.

“All your ideas are dumb,” he muttered underneath his breath, missing the fall of your face that disappeared before he could turn back.

“You want my number?” You ran a hand through your hair, swallowing deeply, your mouth suddenly dry and the chapstick on your lips too heavy. “If you want, of course. You don’t have to exchange yours. But you aren’t obligated to reply to me either. Obviously.”

He hesitated to answer; both to see you squirm in your seat but also because he was unsure. Did he want to continue this friendship that would only end sour, that wouldn’t progress further than what it already was. He reasoned to himself that if the friendship was going to stay stagnated, what was the harm of saying yes? What was the harm of talking to you a bit longer?

He nodded his head, only to realize that you couldn’t see him. The only reason you weren’t reporting him to the police, calling and screaming for heroes was because you couldn’t see him. A hand reached over to grab Father, his other hand tugging at the skin on his neck, feeling the cold air of the room sting at the raw flesh. Your reaction to his answer gave him an odd sense of pride on how you had swelled up, giving him a wide grin, the smile reaching your eyes and you sat up straighter, asking him if he was ready and you began to tell him your phone number, repeating it to make sure he had gotten it down correctly, the grin on your lips never leaving.

Ten minutes later, your account was deleted, all assets transferred over to Toma. Your eyes burned with sleep, the blankets on top of you suddenly weighed a ton, and right before you gave in to sleep, butterflies slowly started to form in your stomach.

In a dark room, only lit up by the screen of his phone, Shigaraki stays up, his eyes burning with the need for sleep as he just stares blankly at the your number. He wonders to himself why he had even agreed to accept your number, but he couldn’t go back in time and reject your offer- the most he could do was not message you. He closed his eyes, his mind drifting back and forth between ignoring you tomorrow or attempt to have a conversation with you.

Tagged:

@rogueofbullshit

[arcadeghostadventurer]

that’s it, that’s the fic.

Untitled Goose Fic 

x find on AO3 x

That wandering pillow stuffing on two flappy feet keeps stealing Tony's tools. Too bad the little shit is hiding them in Steve Rogers' garden because Steve definitely hates Tony.

He does, right?

------------------------------------------------

“No! I will roast you for Thanksgiving! Hell, I will roast you for a completely insignificant mid-week lunch you-” Tony stands back up as the surprisingly agile goose makes it off with his screwdriver, ducking under the table as it runs away. For the third time that day.

“Geese don’t use screwdrivers!” Tony shouts after it, halfheartedly, “You don’t even have opposable thumbs!”

The goose doesn’t turn around. Naturally, since geese would never admit to understanding something as pathetic as spoken language.

He looks after the waddling white bum, slowly disappearing in the distance. Oh well, he has other screwdrivers.

It isn’t until Tony catches the fat feathery fury of hell making off with an entire bundle of fiber optic cable that he fully recognizes the extent of the crimes committed by this goose.

“No! No!! You rotund little shit! Come back- Ow!”

Unfortunately not only he is too late to realize the culprit, but he is also under a car. And so, before Tony can recover from bumping his head and free himself from under the chassis, the goose is gone. So is his brand new cable.

“Fuck you,” mutters Tony, looking after him once again. He rubs his forehead.

He lost about a hundred dollars worth of cable and gained one lump on his head. Now exactly a fair trade, if you ask him. ---

He’s had it. A goose is a glorified duck. Tony will not hear anything else on this matter. Also a goose definitely does not need one flat head and three Phillips head screwdrivers; two pliers, one needle nose and one grooved; a roll of blue painter’s tape, in mint condition; wire cutters; one putty knife; one medium sized hammer and two bananas.

All right, maybe he could let go of the bananas. The little dude, or dudette, has probably already demolished what was supposed to be Tony’s attempt at starting healthy eating habits three weeks ago.

But the other stuff? No way.

So, here is the plan.

The goose must be taking this stuff somewhere. This is almost a one-man organized crime at this point. The bird must have a stash and that stash must be somewhere in this little town.

Maybe Tony’s attempts at goose-proofing the garage haven’t been too successful; considering, as a mechanic, he has to wheel in and out cars, sometimes tractors and hefty motor blocks of farming equipment. Some part of the garage has to open up and that opening has to be big. But, there is nothing holding him from following the goose and finding the little offender’s stash of stolen goods.

He is surprised, really, that he hasn’t thought of this before. He’s a genius. Supposedly. Self-proclaimed but still... It’s just that, the monotone but deafeningly loud and repetitive honks of the creature are so damn disheartening that he just… Gave up. Before even trying.

Yeah, that really doesn’t sound like Tony Stark.

So, he will wait and he will follow. Because if there is one thing he knows, it’s that that goose cannot resist the sweet, sweet call of free knick-knacks that are absolutely of no use to it. ---

And Tony is right. The waddling bundle of doom approaches, honking and being a general nuisance. It doesn’t even try for stealth as it grabs a long strip of discarded chain and totters away.

Tony gets up, downs his coffee and follows.

He has made the calculations. Ran the numbers. The goose cannot be hiding its stolen goodies anywhere too far. First of all, it’s a goose. With short legs. And it has been seen stealing stuff that was too heavy for it to fly with. Second of all, it’s always around. So considering the time it would need to steal, leave, stash and come back; it’s probably hiding its stuff in some unseen but not unreachable and definitely not far away place.

Under a hedge, possibly. Or in a ditch.

Most likely it’s someone’s garden or barn.

And wouldn’t that be the best. He might not be exactly friendly with a lot of people but it is a small town and he is the only mechanic. So if the goose is hiding his stuff in someone’s garden, he’ll just knock on their door and retrieve his stuff. Done.

He strolls down the little path after the toddling white bum, listening to the sound of the chain rolling on the ground without paying much attention to where he’s actually going.

That is, until the jangling of the chain is dulled by grass and the white feathery bum disappears between someone’s broken garden fence. But not just anyone’s garden fence. Oh no. Because Tony Stark’s life cannot be without drama and complications once, even in a remote little town like this.

That little expressionless harbinger of doom, that pint sized behemoth, Tony’s peanut-brained personal devil choose Steve Rogers’ garden to stove away his embezzled tools.

Well, Tony is not going to be knocking on that door anytime soon. He knows for a fact that the guy hates his guts. Since day one. Not that there had been any other day apart from day one but… Well. Oh well.

He could… Sneak in?

Yeah, and just further establish the idea that he is a fucking creep in the man’s eyes.

He stands there for a couple minutes under fading daylight, with a defeated expression on his face before turning around and leaving for his garage. Maybe he should go back to his ideas for cutting-edge anti-goose technology. ---

Steve knows exactly how the high-end, diamond tipped cutter came into his house and from where. And the screwdrivers. And the pliers. And the tape.

The entire roll of unused cable that he has no idea how that goose ever dragged through his fence.

The problem is that he’s pretty sure he made the mechanic hate his guts the first time they met.

He got defensive and well… Some needlessly rude things had been said and assumptions had been made. By Steve. Because Steve is great at acting without thinking apparently.

Well. What happened had happened and Steve should have apologized when he had the chance. But now, after so much time, it would be weird to go to the guy’s house and apologize.

And it would also be weird to act like nothing happened. Which, at this moment, really doesn’t solve his problem of hoarding the man’s equipment in his own house.

He probably doesn’t even remember you, says a little voice in his head, he probably hasn’t even lingered on it like you do, forgot about it the moment you had left.

It’s just that, sometimes it’s still hard for Steve to remember he has grown, both literally and figuratively, and possibly more than doubled in weight. He’s… Well, decent looking now. Not a scrawny little kid. On the outside, at least. Inside is a whole another matter.

So in the end, it had taken his tired-to-the-bone-from-moving brain about three days to realize the mechanic hadn’t been making fun of him when they had been introduced but instead, had been kind of hitting on him. Possibly. Or he is just friendly like that. But Steve is ready to bet the guy had been flirting. With him. Maybe.

And now it’s too late to do anything about it, Steve thinks to himself ruefully. At least he doesn’t own anything that requires a mechanic, really. That, he thinks, had to have been enough to escape from the possible mortification of facing the guy again.

And frankly, when Steve had kind of adopted the town criminal, the goose, how could he have known that the animal would have… Done this! Out of all things a goose could ever do! This!!

“Honk! Hooonk!!”

“I heard you buddy, I’m on it,” Steve slowly rises from his chair and leaves his brooding aside to open his door.

There, stands the goose, with a chain hanging from its beak. It happily waddles inside once Steve steps aside and drops the chain onto its pile.

“Honk!”

“Stealing is bad, you know?” Steve looks at it accusingly.

Goose just honks again.

Steves checks out the frankly impressive pile of tools and knick-knacks the big bird carried into his house over the course of weeks. He sighs, he needs to do something about this. He needs to be brave. He can take his stuff to the guy. He can-

Or, maybe he can just mail it!

He slumps. The guy lives fifteen minutes away. He really couldn’t have come up with a more offensive way of returning the stuff and making the situation even more uncomfortable. He could even add a note. Hey remember how rudely I turned you down the first time we met? Well I still don’t want to see your face, just so you know.

Steve sighs and goes to set out some vegetable scraps for the little rascal. He looks at the goose as it gobbles down the carrot peels, “You started this mess and you fix it!”

And then he thinks, maybe, maybe it really could. Yup, this is definitely going to be the best way of testing the waters. Steve is a genius. ---

Tony is pacing his garage. He needs his 3mm plier that is somewhere in Steve Rogers’ garden. He cannot go there. He has ordered a new one but the two day shipping is… Well, two days away. And he just has nothing else to do but pace and think.

He’s about to go crazy. Just a little more pacing and thinking and he will be intellectually stunted forever, only being able to think about Steve Rogers.

Steve Rogers the artist. The polite, kind, attractive, whose angelic aura enticed even that little white beast of hell and he’s just so-

Okay, no going down that road. He did it once already. And he’s still pacing. Tony’s feelings and opinions about Steve Rogers are not the answer to this dilemma.

He needs the opposite. Needs to think about what Rogers thinks of him. Which, from his reaction was when they met, isn’t really anything pleasant.

It’s just that Tony, being Tony, hadn't been able to say no to flirting with the handsome stranger. It’s not like they get new blood in this town that often. And definitely not of that caliber. Rogers had looked good, coming out of the little store with groceries, biceps swelling with the weight of the bags. Face open and hopeful. Tired, but hopeful.

And Tony is only human. And gay. So sue him.

Rogers hadn’t looked like a bigot then, and with all that he has heard about him, Tony doesn’t think he’s one either. Maybe he’s straight. A huge possibility. But that alone still doesn’t explain his hostility.

Tony wants to say maybe Rogers saw into him that day, somehow knew Tony’s track record. The short and failed relationships. The bad decisions and the mistakes. Just how Tony failed to make any partner happy, failed to be enough so that they would stay...

But that’s ridiculous. Right?

Right. So he paces, and thinks maybe he could ask his regulars to ask around and one of them is bound to know Rogers and they can be a middleman to-

“HONK!”

Tony jumps.,

“HOOONK!!”

“What now, you little- Oh!”

The goose is waddling around in the open areas of his garage, its little orange feet making cute flapping sounds on concrete. But weirdly enough, it doesn’t seem to be stealing anything. On the contrary, it’s just… Waddling. Around. Hmm...

Getting closer to the goose, Tony realizes there is a red ribbon tied in a neat bow around his neck. From this ribbon dangles a piece of paper.

To Tony Stark.

Tony looks to the left. Then to the right. Then for good measure, he pokes his head out of the garage and looks around. There is nobody.

He looks back at the goose. Well, somebody was able to tie that around its neck, so it must be safe to take it off, right?

“If you bite me, and I mean it, even if you just, peck me a little, I’m taking you right to the butcher’s shop.” ---

Steve comes back to his house and his incriminating balled up papers, hiding and evading the town people throughout the whole way. And he’s already having a freak-out about just how much he has overshared in what was supposed to be a tiny note saying “Hey, I have your things I think, would you like to pick them up or would you like me to bring them over.”

But no Steve had to go and be all hopelessly romantic and embarrassing and overshare. At least he didn’t outright say stuff like your eyes are beautiful or you’re really confident and I don’t know how to talk to you or… Yeah.

And obviously he wouldn’t be able to trust the dumb (however cute and waddly) bird to find its way directly to the mechanic’s garage so he had all but grabbed the goose and went over to the place himself. Had set the goose back on its feet from the side of the garage door and ran away like a kid. Well, there had been some peeking, but he couldn’t risk being caught.

All in all, he’d give himself 10/10 for planning, 10/10 for execution and like… 3/10 for the contents note itself. So it all averaged to something passable. Hopefully.

The worst thing is that Tony Stark was as intimidatingly and effortlessly handsome as he remembered. Steve hadn’t been able to stop peeking at him as he gingerly taking off the ribbon around the goose’s neck. He had been in a black tank top; his slightly tanned and toned arms flexing as he fiddled with the bow. He had wiped his hands on an already grease stained fabric before opening the note.

And then Steve had ran away.

Now, back in his house, Steve sits down and puts his face in his hands. He can literally feel just how blushed his cheeks are from the warmth. But, what’s done is done. He cannot really take it back now. The mechanic’s tools are in a paper bag by the door, in case he just, you know, wants to take them and leave. Steve wouldn’t want to make him wait.

And Steve hates to wait himself, but there is really nothing else left to do. ---

Tony wears a shirt and then realizes what he’s doing and takes it off. He’s not wearing a button up shirt to walk fifteen minutes,get his tools and come back. That’s a little too much. A little.

He does trim his beard though. Looking put together never hurt anybody. Definitely a plus, if you’re going to see the guy you’ve had a crush on for over a month. For the second time. After a total fucking disaster.

It’s been really hard. Moving. Leaving a big city like New York and coming to a small town. Wondering if it will work out, if you’ll be able to make it. Get used to it. But staying in Brooklyn had became harder and harder after I had lost my mother. But also I had never lived anywhere else before. All my life; the same neighbourhood, same faces, same places...

I had been tired and irritable, Steve had written. I owe you a very late apology, he had said. I have, what I assume is, all of your lost tools and I would like to return them if you’re not against seeing me again.

Tony is clearly very against the idea, seeing that he’s changing his t-shirt for the fourth time instead of just leaving his house like a normal person.

Also, Steve had called the goose, the town criminal, without specifying that he was talking about the bird, which will always be written as about 10 points in his corner. Even if this thing doesn’t work out. It

He’s stalling. He’s stalling so much.

He checks himself out in the mirror one last time. Fixes his hair and washes his hands once again. The grease under his nails will never be fully gone probably but he can try. Make an effort. Yeah.

When he makes it to the edge of Steve’s picket fence, the goose is already inside. Right at the door, sitting on the doormat with its face tucked under its wing, seemingly dead to the world. Once Tony opens the garden gate however, it starts screaming its little head off. And the door opens before Tony has any time to psych himself up.

Steve Rogers comes out shining golden under the late afternoon sun and complaining, “I just fed you!”

“Yeah, a microphone it seems like,” Tony cringes as soon as the words leave his mouth. Yes Tony, amazing, insert your foot a little bit deeper into your mouth.

Steve startles and looks at him, clearly not expecting to see him, but then he laughs and it’s all Tony can do at that moment is not to slump in relief.

Steve clears his throat, “I will go get your, uh- Tools? Yes. Just a sec-” He disappears behind the door as the goose squeezes inside beside his leg.

Tony is left all by himself in front of the door, suddenly feeling disappointed. Well, what did he expect? ---

Once inside, Steve slumps against the door frame for two seconds, needing to regroup. This is harder than he thought it would be and Tony looks better than he has any right to with his perfect curl falling on his forehead and his perfect facial hair and- Well, at least he didn’t bring up the note, or the delivery method, Steve thinks, not that he gave him any time to speak.

Steve takes the hefty bag of tools into his hands. Takes a deep breath. Now or never, now or never, he repeats from inside, be brave for yourself for one second.

He opens the door again and Tony is there, standing a polite distance away from the steps. Steve extends the bag, “Here you go. This is all that I could find, though, if you have anything else missing-”

“Thank you, thank you. Well, yeah, I think I’ll be fine,” Tony looks at him with a clipped smile.

Now or never, now or never.

“Hey, you know, if you ever lose anything you can,” Steve can feel his blush rising, “well, call?” ---

“I don’t have a phone.” What? What?! If there was ever a good time for a meteor to fall onto me and just onto me, now is it, Tony thinks.

“Oh,” Steve deflates.

“No!” Tony shouts, making both of them flinch. Then schools his voice into something more appropriate, “I mean I didn’t,” he flails, pointing up the hill he came from, “my house is just over there so, I don’t know, I didn’t think I’d need it honestly. So I can’t really- I mean, your number- I can give you mine?”

“Oh, yeah, sure. Just let me-” Steve disappears back into the house and comes back with his phone, gives a little nod, “Mhm?”

So Tony gives Steve his number. Steve sends him a text. After a polite goodbye he leaves, clutching his tools to his chest and all but runs back to his house. He throws the bag onto his work table on his way up and immediately goes searching for his phone.

He giggles as he reads the message, “Hi! This is Steve the goose-sitter.” ---

A Couple Of Months Later

“Steve!! If you don’t come pick up your live pillow stuffing, you’re going to see it under the cloche for tonight’s dinner.”

Steve laughs, honest to God laughs at him and his misery on the phone, “Like you know how to cook.”

Tony sputters, phone in hand and eyes locked onto the little criminal currently pat-pat-ing greasy footprints all over his beautiful and once clean car. With a harmonica in its beak.

Aimless chaos, that’s what it is.

He sighs, “That was cruel and you know it but I’ll let it go if you come here and give me a kiss.”

“Tony, I have one more lesson, just one more and then I’m home, okay babe?”

Tony grinns giddily. Okay, maybe he’s a little head over heels here but at least he knows he’s not the only one.

As Steve had predicted, the goose kept stealing his tools. And kept stashing them in Steve’s house. And Tony just kept… Going back to retrieve them. In time it became Steve coming over to drop off some things Tony had not yet realized gone missing and staying to chat for a bit. Or Tony realizing things were missing and going to Steve’s house for a coffee, waiting for the goose to come from parading his stolen goods around.

They talked about Steve’s moving adventures first. Then his reasons; his Ma’s illness, losing her at the hospital and his best friend overseas and looking around Brooklyn to see pain everywhere. And in turn Tony told his own story, about leaving a busy life with three cities in one day, shareholder’s meetings, inventing with strict deadlines on endless budget that got quite unfulfilling really quickly.

And then they talked about more personal details. Steve’s insecurities from when he was dealing with asthma and was as thin as a stick that never quite left. Tony’s inability to pay attention to anybody or anything but his craft for more than two seconds that drove all his ex-es away.

Steve had smiled at his berating, “You’ve been here for three hours now.”

“And? Should I- Oh.” Tony had blushed, “Well, yeah.”

Somewhere along the way, it had become this.

Tony knows Steve will come over after he’s done teaching kids how to draw and will give him as many kisses as he wants and then a little bit more. He will cook because Tony really cannot but helps by providing any ingredient Steve needs for his recipes, no matter how obscure. They will sit in Tony’s little kitchen and chat and eat and kiss a little bit more. And when Steve gets up to go home, his overgrown duck with itsy-bitsy razor teeth will follow him back home loyally.

But there is still an hour and then some until that can happen.

“I am not cleaning your weird misshapen dog though,” he sulks into his phone.

Steve chuckles, “That’s alright Tony, I have to go now, I’ll see you soon, alright?”

“Yeah, okay, love you.”

“Love you too.”

[xeunoais]

Mr. CEO

(A/N: i love ceo! shawn. thats it. that all i have to say)

Summary: Shawn Mendes is one of the youngest CEOs’ in the world. He was also one of the most popular fighters out there. He had a thing going with his personal assistant Y/N. That was until it started going downhill. Will they be able to fix the damage?

-

-

My phone started buzzing.

“Hey Y/N!” A voice boomed through the phone.

“Hi Brian.” I replied.

Brian is Shawn’s best friend. I don’t know him as well as Shawn does but I know him well enough to consider him a friend of mine too.

“I got free tickets for the championship tonight.”

“What championship?”

“The fight, duh.”

“Okay, and?”

“I got two tickets, you’re coming with me.”

“What about Shawn?” I stated softly, kind of confused.

“Dude, we’re going him only.” He replied.

“What do you mean?” I asked, still very confused.

“Oh shit. You don’t know that he fights, do you?” Brian said chuckling.

“Brian, this isn’t funny!”

Since my laptop was right in front of me I decided to do something I never thought I would. I googled my boyfriend’s name. And then there it was. Pictures of him in the ring. My mouth dropped.

“I’m guessing your speechless.” Brian laughed again.

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“I’m guessing he just assumed you already knew.”

“This is crazy. I need to talk to him. I have to talk to him right now.” I said as I was getting up.

“Um, he’s already gone to the stadium.” Brian stated, clearly amused by this whole situation.

“I’m going to kill him!”

“Sure. Its already five. I’ll pick you up and we could get something to eat and then head to the stadium.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Y/N, calm down. Its all going to be fine. I’ll see you soon.”

As he hung up the phone, mixed emotions clogged my mind. I hate to admit this but the fact he’s a fighter made me feel a little weird.

-

As soon as I entered the stadium, I could hear people cheering. I felt like I didn’t belong here almost instantly.

“He’s going to be so happy you’re here!” Brian shouted over the noise from the crowd.

“Yeah, he better have a death wish.” I muttered.

“Let’s go to our seats. Its front row.”

“Isn’t this just lovely. I get front row just to see my boyfriend get beaten.” I said sarcastically.

“Correction. You get to see you boyfriend beating someone up.”

“Why does he even have to do this. He has plenty of money.” I mumbled started to get overwhelmed and upset by the whole situation.

“Y/N. This is where he gets his most of his money from. And, its his passion.” Brian said. I saw what he meant. Shawn was forced into the business world. He loved it but it wasn’t what he wanted to do. But he didn’t have an option when it came down to it. But that still doesn’t change the fact that I’m upset with this whole situation.

Round 1 was starting. They introduced the fighters. Shawn was going up against someone with the name of Lewis Patterson. He was huge. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach.

Shawn searched the crowd and then his eyes spotted us. He smiled at me and I smiled back trying to hide how terrified I was from him.

Whenever the fight begin, I squeezed my eyes shut. I simply couldn’t watch.

“Y/N, open your eyes and calm down. Shawn is going to win.” Brian said loud enough for me to hear.

I opened my eyes and saw Shawn throwing punch after punch until the guy was on the ground. By round 2, Shawn’s face was clean. He hadn’t been touched. I sighed in relief at the sight.

I sat there watching and before I knew the fight was over and Shawn had won. He locked eyes with me and I smiled at him trying to hide the fact that I was so terrified to the point that I was literally shaking.

Brian led me to the dressing rooms. And there it was. Shawn Mendes. The signed was plastered on the door. I stood there for a second and then I walked inside. He was packing all of his stuff before so he turned around and looked at me with a smile.

“Hey I-“

“You are an Idiot!” I shouted. He looked at me with the same amount of amusement on his face as Brian did. I walked over to him and started hitting his chest repeatedly.

“Baby, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” He chuckled softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” I snapped.

“I thought you knew.” He said.

“Well I didn’t, genius!”

“I like it when you feisty.”

“What if something happened to you.” I mumbled.

“If we worried about all of the what if questions, then we wouldn’t do what we loved.” He stated.

I walked over to him and stood on my tip toes and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“I was worried.”

“That’s sweet.” He said, with a shit eating grin on his face. I slapped his chest again.

“I’m sorry you were worried. But look at me. I’m okay.” He spoke softly with a smile.

As mad as he could make me sometimes, I was in love with him. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.

-

“Hey Y/N, what plans do I have for next week?” Shawn asked.

“A meeting with the Peter’s and the uh, opening of the restaurant down the street.” I replied.

“Cancel them.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I’m going to Pairs.” He stated.

“For how many days?”

“Two weeks.”

I felt a little upset that he’d be gone for two weeks and I wouldn’t be able to see him.

“Oh, um, cool.” I said trying to hide my disappointment.

“Yeah so book two tickets for Monday.” He said.

“Oh for you and Brian?” I asked.

He laughed.

“Why are you laughing?”

“You’re such a dork.” He spoke as he kissed me cheek.

I was still completely clueless.

“Two tickets for me and you, silly girl.”

I was shocked.

“I have a conference there for two days and then the rest will be for me and you to spend more time together. If you want to of course.” He rambled.

“You don’t have to y-“ I started.

“I do. So stop being so modest and kiss me already.” He smirked.

“You’re so cheeky. Its not even attractive.” I giggled.

He pulled me close.

“You crave my cheekiness.” He whispered.

“Nope.” I said popping the p.

“Oh stop lying dork.”

“Stop calling me dork.”

“Nope, you’re such a dork.”

“Shawn, act your age.”

“Sure, angel.” He grinned and kissed me.

“You’re irritating.” I said trying to find my smile.

“You’re beautiful.”

“Nope.”

“Yep.”

“Stop.”

“Nope.”

A knock on the door brought us back to reality and I moved away from him slowly.

“Come in.” Shawn growled. Clearly irritated that we were interrupted.

A woman with an extremely tight and short skirt came in and stood before us.

“Sir, these the files you asked for.” She said leaning onto him. He back away.

“Wait, who are you?” He asked.

“I’m Hailey. Sir, I work in the accounts department.” She said desperately.

“I’ve never seen you here.” He said bluntly.

She gasped and it took everything in me not to laugh.

“Sir, you asked Joe for these files.”

“I asked him for those two weeks okay but never mind. You can leave now.” He spoke.

“Okay but sir, if you need any help, you can tell me.”

“No. I already have someone who can take care of what I need.” He looked at me as he spoke with a grin on his face.

She huffed and walked out.

“Why were you so rude to her?” I asked.

“I wasn’t! I don’t even know her.” He defended himself.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“Your idiot, Y/N.”

I smiled and shook my head softly.

Who knew love felt this good.

-

*4 weeks later*

-

“Clear off the rumors now.” Shawn snapped after he got off the phone.

“What rumors?” I asked.

“That I’m in a relationship with one of my colleagues.” He said.

“But its not a rumor because its technically true.” I stated.

“So? The world knows I don’t do relationships. They’re probably going to take it far and say that I remain distracted, because of which I will lose profits.” He said.

“Excuse me?”

“What?”

“Are you ashamed of us?” I asked him.

Realization hit him as soonas I said those words.

“You know thats not true.”

“No, but you just said that you don’t want people to know.”

“If you heard carefully, I said that my company would face losses.”

“Name one CEO who’s company is in loss because he’s in a relationship.”

“Why are you overreacting? Its not like this thing we have is serious anyways.”

I looked at him in disbelief. He didn’t meant that. Did he?

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked.

“What?”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Admit it. I know you want to be spoken about. I know you want people to know that you’re dating the CEO of the world’s biggest company.”

My heart broke at his words.

“Who the hell do you think you are? How dare you objectify me? You know what? To remove the burden from your shoulders, I’ll resign. Simple. That way your public image won’t be at stake.”

“Do you hear yourself right now? You sound insane. You can’t get offended over such a small thing, Y/N.”

“Such a small thing? Alright I’m sorry Mr. Mendes.“

I walked out of his room. I could hear him calling out to me.

I wiped my tears and made my registration letter ready. It was all like deja vu. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I knew I needed a new job asap. So I called the one person who helped me with this one before. Joe. He worked for Shawn but he became one of my best friends.

“Joe, I need a high paying job. I have bills I need to pay and my rent too.” I sighed.

“I will get back to you if I find anything. But hey Shawn’s an idiot for whatever he did to you.”

“Thanks, Joe.” I said as I hung up the phone.

What will I do now?

-

*Shawn’s POV*

“Why the hell would you do that?” Brian shouted at me.

“I can’t do this to her. You know what happened the last time right.” I said reminiscing my past relationships.

“Oh come on! You are so fucking stupid. Can you imagine how she must be feeling right now?”

“Its better if she leaves now. It’ll only hurt her more in the future if we stay together.”

“Oh please. Who enlightened you on that thought?” Brian asked.

“Nobody.” I mumbled as I looked away.

“Shawn,” He started.

“Fine, Hunter threatened that he was going to hurt her.”

“Hunter? As in the boxer that you have a fight coming up with?”

“Yeah.”

“And since when did Shawn Mendes start caring about threats like that?”

“Brian. You know I’d kill him if he just so happened to touch her. But I can’t invite such a situation because I don’t want him near Y/N.” I admitted.

“Shawn, I know you won’t make a mistake again. I know that you will still protect her even if she hates you or leaves you for that matter. Don’t do this her or yourself.”

“Just give me some time, Brian. I need to think this through.”

“Don’t make your decision in haste, Shawn.” He said as he walked out of my office.

Y/N changed me for the better. That was the only reason why I was scared.

My phone buzzed and that brought me away from my thoughts.

Y/N had messaged me.

From My angel👼 :

Shawn I need you to talk to me. You never act this way. So I need you to tell me whats wrong. If you think we jumped into a relationship too fast, then I respect your decision and I am fine with waiting. But you have to tell me what’s wrong. Just text me back whenever..

I sighed and leaned back in my chair.

-

“Lets go see a movie.” Brian said.

“Not in the mood.”

“Then what about dinner?”

“I just want to stay home. You go ahead.” I said.

“I wanna do something with you though.” I turned my head and looked at him. His eyes got wide and I bursted out laughing.

“I didn’t mean it that way. Get your mind out of the gutter, dumbass.”

“You’re such a creep.��� I said.

“Right, of course. I’m not the one who wrote love letters to girls without mentioning my name.”

“That was on time!”

“Surrreee. If thats what helps you sleep at night.”

“You do, Brian.” I said with an amused smirk on my face.

He gave me a disgusted look.

“This is just getting out of hand now. I knew you always had a thing for me!”

“Right, of course.” I said sarcastically.

“Okay now get your ass up and dressed. Three of us are going ot see a movie.”

“Three? Who’s the thir-“

“You, me, and Y/N.” He stated.

-

*Y/N’s POV*

I waiting outside the theater for Brian and Shawn. While I was sitting there waiting nerves started filling me in. I had to face Shawn again after what he did to me.

“Well look who’s here.”

I turned around to see who said that and saw a tall, muscular guy smirking down at me. Who was he?

“If you’re wondering, I’m Hunter. You’re Shawn’s girl, aren’t you?”

“Who are you?” I asked him.

“I just said, I’m Hunter.” He smirked again and stepped forward. I took a step back.

“You seem to be,” he paused and stared at me for a second. “pretty intriguing.”

“Listen. I don’t know you. And I have to go now.” I said turning around and starting to walk away but was quickly stopped as he grabbed my arm.

“Not so fast, babe.” He said, poison laved through his tone of voice. Panic began to set into me.

“Hunter. I see you haven’t lost your habits of trying to take what rightfully belongs to someone else.”

My head snapped around and then my eyes were met with the sight of Shawn standing there with Brian beside him. I sighed in relief.

“Oh look who decided to join us.” Hunter remarked.

“Leave her out of this.” Shawn spoke sternly.

“And what will you do about it?” Hunter growled, his grip on my arm tightened. I whimpered in pain from the feeling.

I closed my eyes tightly until the hand that was around my arm was no longer there. I opened my eyes to find Hunter against a wall and Shawn’s hands on the collar of his shirt.

“What happens in the ring, stays in the ring.” Shawn mumbled in anger.

“I’m so scared.” Hunter remarked sarcastically.

“Listen here you dickhead-“ Shawn was cut off.

“Shawn leave him alone.” Brian spoke up stepping in front of me. “He’s not worth this right now.”

“Yeah listen to your friend.” Hunter spoke.

“Shut the fuck up Hunter. I’m stopping him from killing you right now.” Brian spit out at him.

“Whatever.” Hunter muttered walking away as Shawn let go of his collar.

What just happened?

“Why were you talking to him?” Shawn said bluntly.

“I wasn’t.”

“Right. You’re never wrong, are you?” He snapped.

“What is your problem?”

“Nothing.”

“Shawn, I know you want to protect me but-“

“Don’t flatter yourself. I don’t give a damn about anyone. Especially not you.” He lied. He has always been a bad liar.

“Then why did you react like this? Why’d you stop him?”

“Hunter and I have other issues. I’m not always thinking about you.” He lied again.

“Sure.” I said sarcastically.

“Brian, Can you drop her off at home or something?”

“I’m not going anywhere.” I said.

“You’re crazy.” Shawn replied shaking his head.

“What?”

“You could have bern kidnapped and you’re acting so calm about it.” Shawn nearly shouted.

“I knew you were coming.” I mumbled softly.

“I’m not always gonna be there so stop depending on me.” He said bluntly.

“Why are you behaving this way? I know you’re doing this to distance yourself away from me but can you please just stop for a minute and actually talk to me like a human being?”

Shawn just rolled his eyes and walked in.

“He will come around. Just give him some time.” Brian said while patting my back gently.

-

I sat on my couch flipping through the channels on TV until my phone started buzzing.

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/N.”

“Brian. What’s up?”

“There is an issue.”

“What happened?”

“Shawn,” Brian hesitated to finish,”Uh, he’s in the hospital.”

My heart sunk. My eyes widened and I shot up off the couch.

“What? How?”

“He’s fine. Don’t panic. But he seriously needs to see you.”

“But tell me what happened.”

“He got into a fight..“

-

Part 2?

(A/N: i truly hope you enjoyed this as much as i did writing it! its definitely longer than anything else i’ve ever written! and it’s definitely taken more time than anything i’ve every written too. and remember, feedback is highly appreciated!!❤️)

[marvinswriting]

scary damian scary damian scary damian scary d-

prompt: the title speaks for itself lmaooo thank you bear for dealing with me sending you every other paragraph to make sure i got the energy of the fic right orignal g/t mg

I shoved my phone into my pocket, approaching the tiny pick up zone. I felt bad pulling Damian out of class but I'd feel worse if I passed the fuck out from exhaustion and got him worried.

Nothing telling my teacher I'm going to the nurse won't fix. 

I walked through the tiny halls, the unfinished ceilings and led beams hanging down. The occasional light flicker really setting in the horror genre feel. I tried not to concentrate on the hallway decor too much, it hurt more than anything. The half-assed drywall with bulletin boards hung occasionally. There were tiny lockers that went largely unused and some vending machines that haven't been refilled since I was a freshman. 

I yawn, approaching the tiny pick up zone. 

As expected, the hallways are quiet. The occasional student walks past but nobody pays me mind. I liked it better that way anyway.

I slumped against the wall, letting my head fall forward. I was exhausted. Don't know why. I actually got sleep last night. Can too much sleep make you more tired? Oh well. Gonna get more.

More footsteps pass the tiny pick up zone, but these ones pause before backtracking. I look up to see Shane Omen. 

Because who else?

I lower my head again, too tired to deal with this. 

"Yo, space dyke." Shane doesn't seem to happy to not get a reaction out of me. "I'm talking to you."

"Sure you are." I feel like I should be running, but my brain is sluggish and I don't feel any fight or flight kicking in. When I would normally be up on my feet, creating as much distance between us as possible, I'm just trying not to fall asleep.

I have enough energy left in my brain to know being unconscious around a giant, especially Shane Omen, isn't the smartest idea.

"Space Dyke." There's a hand reaching for me.

That makes me flinch backward but- its too late at this point. 

Is it bad to call this interaction familiar at this point?

Because it was.

I made a noise of surprise as Shane grabbed me off the platform roughly. My hands weren't pinned at my side this time, as I fruitlessly tried to push his fingers off of.

They wrapped around my entire body even pinning my legs together. 

"Shane, please!"

"Are all tinies as rude as you? Never respond when they're being talked to?"

"Shane-" 

I was not in the mood. My body felt as though it would shut down at any second and this interaction was frankly sending me into overdrive. My brain was panicking, trying to stay awake, trying to find the strength to fight back, trying to find energy where there was none. 

"I always find it amusing. You tinies are so big and bad with giants. But when you're alone- look what happens." Shane's fist tightens.

"Where's you giant, huh? Isn't that something you freaks do? You try and twist our words positively? Embrace it? Hate to break it to you, it doesn't seem to be working. You're still a pathetic annoyance."

Shane's right. Where is Damian?

"I could drop you right now," Shane says, and my blood runs cold. "It'd be ruled as an accident. They don't check the cameras about these things. You're just a tiny. You freaks fall off ledges all the time. Your name would be in the school newspaper this month and then never spoken about again."

Shane's grip loosens and while it's normally a welcoming sign, I struggle to find purchase, grabbing at his fingers, not wanting to fall.

"Shane, please."

"Please what?"

“Please, get your hands off my tiny."

Both Shane and I turn to the new voice. I could cry in relief. There stood Damian walking down the halls. He looked pissed but I knew him long enough to see he was as scared as I felt. 

Damian never said 'my tiny'. I called him my giant, sure, and he knew I was his tiny, but he always said despite it being embraced among tinies, he felt like he was taking ownership of a valuable life. Which was totally valid and I understood, but to hear him say it now put a smile on my face, despite the situation I was in.

The smile didn't last long as Shane's fingers once again tightened painfully around my body.

"And why should I?"

Damian was in front of us now. Shane wasn't short, but he wasn't tall. Damian was tall. He glared down at Shane. 

Holy shit.

None of my giant friends were fighters. Yeah, Cady has verbally chewed out some people, Gretchen has paid jocks to beat up others, but none of our giants were physical. But right now? Damian looked fully ready to throw hands.  

"Please hand me Janis." He held out his hand expectantly and for a second I thought Shane was just gonna comply. His grip loosens and his hand moved forward slightly before pausing. "No."

Shane said it with the authority of the girls on TikTok who bully people in the comments, saying no and throwing a heart emoji after.

"I'm sorry?" Damian's voice was low. Like the night Cady threw the part, but this time he wasn't trying to hide his anger or keep calm. "I heard what you said. About dropping her? Yeah, I think it's clear I'm not gonna let you do that. What you said counts as a threat by the way. If Janis wanted to report you, they'd check the cameras and you'd get into some serious trouble."

Shane seems metaphorically cornered for a second. Only a second.

God, I'm so fucking tired. I just want to be in Damian's pocket, where it's warm and safe and I can sleep, god damnit.

I can't tell if it's the total exhaustion or Shane's tight grip on me but my vision feels like its fogging up-

Oh my god, I can't breathe. 

How fucking tired do you have to be to notice you're not breathing?!

I let out a very incoherent plea and both giants look down at me.

"You're hurting her."

"Am I?"

"Knock it off dude. Let her go that's not funny."

"Let her go you say?"

The fingers wrapped around me are suddenly gone as I let out a gasp of surprise and for air. Shane Omen fucking dropped me. Wow.

I didn't fall far before landing on another hand. I knew it was coming but that didn't make me any more prepared as I land with an ungracious thump.

I'm not held by Damian for long as he gently places me on the tiny pick up zone. As much as I love Damian, I'm grateful to be back on solid ground as I stumble backwards leaning against the wall. 

"What the fuck is your problem, Shane." Damian isn't bothering to hide his anger at this point. 

Shane takes a step back, his hands going up in defense. "Chill dude. It's just a tiny. I don't understand why you get so upset. You're like the only one who gives a shit about space d-"

Shane didn't get to finish his sentence as Damian suddenly swings his arm, fist connecting with jaw.

I jump back, out of surprise more than anything.

Holy fuck.

I suddenly felt a lot more awake and in tune with the situation going on in front of me.

Damian never got violent. He was always the teddy bear friend. But this teddy bear had one good right hook. Where did he fucking learn that?

My illusion of big scary Shane Omen is broken as Damian towers over him, Shane bending over, hand on jaw. If anything, it's Damian who looks scary right now.

That's something I never thought I'd say. 

Damian shakes his fist out like he's trying to flick away the pain. "Don't ever talk about Janis like that again. If you or any of your friends use that nickname again, I'll-"

"We won't!" Shane is quick to reassure. "Swear on it, dude. Uh- Damian. We- we won't."

Damian doesn't seem convinced at this as he continues to glare at Shane. Shane turns to me and I instinctively flinch back. He raises his hand in defense. 

"Sorry- Janis."

 I don't think I've ever heard Shane call me Janis before? It's always been space dyke. Woah.

"I'm," Shane points behind him, skittishly. "I'm gonna go now, so-" He doesn't finish his sentence, just turns and speed walks down the halls. 

The second he's out of slight, the pressed lips and stiff posture fade and Damian looks a lot more- well, Damian.

"Are you okay?" His voice is back to a hushed concern. I jump regardless.

"I'm fine. Now." I say slowly. My brain feels like it's rebooting from what I've witnessed. It needs time to let the files load.

Damian punched somebody. 

Damian punched Shane Omen.

Shane Omen was scared of Damian.

Damian Hubbard the dude who wouldn't hurt a fly if he was paid to, punched Shane. Omen. 

And it was equally a mix of badass and scary.

I never thought I would call Damian scary. He hates being viewed as scary. And for the most part, he's not. But that? That was scary even if it wasn't directed to me.

"Janis?" 

My head snaps up. Damian looks nothing like he did thirty seconds ago. Now he stood timidly, like he was afraid to move and set me off. "I know you don't like yelling. I'm sorry."

I nod. "Thank you for coming when you did."

I pushed down all uneasiness I had. It frankly made me feel guilty. It was just Damian. He wouldn't hurt me. I didn't think he'd hurt Shane Omen either but-

No.

It's Damian.

"You really had Shane ready to piss his pants," I say lightheartedly. "It was tits, dude."

Damian chuckled nervously. "I just saw him holding you and I got so nervous and I-"

"Hey hey hey-" I rush to the edge of the platform. "I'm here right now. I'm okay."

Yeah, it was pretty scary watching Damian tower over his peers aggressively. But it was also badass. And if Cady did the same I'd be gay. But the Damian I'm seeing right now? That's my best friend who would never hurt me. That's my platonic soulmate who goes out of his way to keep me safe. 

Which he was doing earlier, just in a new way. 

Damian scoops me up, holding me to his chest. I can feel his heartbeat slightly faster than normal. 

He was as worried as I was.

Just being held by Damian and the familiarity of being safe was all I needed for the exhaustion to set in again.

"I'm gonna fall asleep." I mumble. 

Damian laughs. "That is why you called me to pick you up, right?"

"Yeah," I say sleepily.

Damian shifts me into the familiar chest pocket and there's some rustling as I assume he puts on the whit pin before we're off. 

There's a couple of things we should talk about. Like him punching Shane Omen for starts. Or Damian calling me his tiny for the first time. But right now it's nap time.

Back to Damian's English where I can fall asleep without worry of Shane. Not that I think I'll be worrying about Shane for a while.

bear told me i write shane omen well and i guess that just means i make a good fucking villain lmao- also was damian at least a little in character? i tried. @realmisspolarbear @musicallygt @smallsoysauce

[awkwardsinner-blog]

~ Forgotten Kiss ~ Shawn Mendes x Reader~

Warning - Swearing, Sexual Indications (no smut)

Note - Italics are “flashbacks”

A/n - I hope you all had a amazing New Years spent with your love ones! So, here is a little story (sort of) with Shawn and Youu

~~~

My eyes fluttered open, the beautiful morning sun shining right in my eyes, I quickly attempted to cover it with my hand, but failing as the sun crept right through my fingers. I turned on my side looking around the room, I was unfamiliar of where I was, photos on the walls, a huge closet, open windows practically everywhere. Suddenly, it felt like someone whacked me over the head with a hammer. “Jesus christ,” I said while sitting up, I immediately grabbed my head, the pain was horrible. A constant throbbing on my brain, I quickly rubbed my eyes, letting them get used to the morning sun for a moment. I scanned over the room (again), a small cup of water, and advil on the side table. I quickly grabbed both, not hesitating to take the pill. For hells sake, it could have killed me, yet I didn’t care, at least I’d get away from this pain. Maybe I should be more worried about the fact that I’m in a strangers room.. Finally, the realization it me. I quickly scurried out of the bed, gathering my clothes which were scattered around the floor. “Last night was a mistake, last night was a mistake,” I mumbled to myself, I jumped into my jeans, almost falling in the process. I leaned on the wall for a moment, pulling them up as fast as possible. I headed over to the door, “my phone,” I mumbled, I quickly went over to the side table and grabbed it. I turned it on for a moment:

Brit (11:23PM) - Woah horsey, getting down and dirty with that guy huh?

Brit (11:28PM) - No! No! Don’t walk away!!

Y/n (11:30PM) - Har har very funny.

Brit (2:04AM) - Hey where did you go?

Brit (2:12AM) - You’re scaring me Y/n

8 Missed Calls (Brit)

“Fuck, fuck,” I mumbled, I quickly dialed Brit’s number, no response. “Brit please pick uppp, I’m at this dudes place and he seems oddly weird and, and, formal! Like who has open windows in every corner, a freaky stalkerish dude does! Please Brit just-” I almost dropped my phone, a tall man stood in the doorway. I had to admit, he was cute, shirtless, only in his boxers, but I shouldn’t focus on that now. There was a moment of silence, my phone quietly beeped, ending the voicemail. “Stalkerish, wow, I thought the room was nice.” He said then softly chuckled, I froze on the spot, staring right into his brown and hazelish eyes. “S-Sorry, I didn’t mean stalkerish, just, ughh.” I rambled on, “Shawn.. right?” I asked, “yeah,” he replied, “I’m-” “Y/n, I know.” He teased, I felt a rush of heat hit my face, butterflies fluttering in my stomach. 

Music blaring, people talking, sweaty bodies dancing, and the smell of alcohol very apparent. I slowly sipped on whatever was in my red cup, occasionally swishing it around out of pure boredom. “Y/n!” My best friend Brit called out, she slowly made her way over to me dancing, “please come have some fun with me, why come to a party and not dance??” Her words slightly slurred, but hey that’s Brit, “no, I think I’m okay, just a little light headed,” I lied, “come onn,” she said tugging me to the dance floor. I quickly set my cup on a nearby table, and followed her to the dance floor. We danced around together, hands constantly in each others, I didn’t want to loose her, again.. I suddenly bumped into someone, my hands quickly slipping out of Brit’s, and grabbing the person. I quickly glanced up at the person, a tall male with brown hair, sweet features, and a soft expression on his face, “I’m so sorry I-” “no, it’s fine, I sorta well wasn’t paying attention.” He said nervously. Out of all the people I’ve talked to here, he was the sweatiest, soft-spoken, and actually made eye-contact. “I guess it was both of us,” I nervously laughed at my own joke, he had a small smile on his face, I had a sigh of relief, “I thought I was dead, that joke wasn’t even that good,” I said more or so to myself, he then chuckled, the sound was amazing and genuine. “I don’t know, I thought it was quirky,” he said, “quirky huh, never been called that before,” I said, “I uh, I’m Y/n,” I said with a smile, “Shawn,” he replied sweetly. I felt a buzz in my pocket, but quickly ignored it, “I guess I’ll see you around, Shawn.” I said, “see you around Y/n.” He replied. I happily walked away, a smile basically written on my face. I quickly pulled out my phone:

Brit (11:23PM) - Woah horsey, getting down and dirty with that guy huh?

Brit (11:28PM) - No! No! Don’t walk away!!

Y/n (11:30PM) - Har har very funny.

“Sorry, I’m just have a really bad hangover, sorry about the stalkerish.” I felt more comfortable, finally starting to remember what happened. “Hey who knows maybe your stalking me, purposely bumping into me at a partyyy,” Shawn teased, “no please, don’t remind me of that night,” I said dramatically, I was actually warming up to this guy.. “Um, I gotta go, this is super forward of me but, can I maybe have your number?” I asked nervously, his cheeks went as red as a tomato, “y-yeah, sure.” His voice was shaky, and it was adorable. I walked over to Shawn and handed him my phone, I watched as his shaky hands typed in his number, “thanks,” I said happily, “see you later, Shawn.” I said then quickly left.

“Oh my god!” Brit shouted, “shhhh!” I hushed her, “sooo, what was he like?” she asked. I felt my cheeks go hot, and butterflies in my stomach just thinking about the moment. “Well, he was sweet, soft-spoken, kind, and well cute,” I said happily, “damnn, he’s got you smitten in two seconds,” she teased, I blushed even harder, “and his name..?” she asked, “Shawn,” I replied, “jesus fucking christ! Shawn? Holy shit dude! He is a famous singer, he is the one hosting this party!” She beamed, “Britttttt,” I whined, “I don’t care if he is famous,” I said simply, “whatever you say missy,” she said then walked away. I rolled my eyes at her reaction. “Issues?” Someone said behind me, I quickly turned around, “jesus Shawn, stalkerish much?” I teased, “and no, it’s not a issue thank you very much,” I scoffed. I was confused, why was I being rude now? “Sorry I shouldn’t have assumed,” he said softly, and with that my anger was swept away, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten mad,” I said. We stared into each others eyes for a moment, “wow you guys say sorry wayyy too much,” Brit teased, “sorry,” Shawn and I said in unison, we all both started laughing our asses off. “Brit, but you can call me Brittany,” she said sternly, Shawn seemed a little shocked, “Shawn,” he said hesitantly, “okayy! I’m gonna go drink more,” there is the Brit I know, she happily trotted off over to the bar. “Don’t worry, she’ll get used to you,” I said without thinking, there was an awkward silence, “shit sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, well I’d love to get to know you better n’ all, I just, shit.” I rambled on, Shawn began to laugh, “what? What is so funny?” I pouted, “we really do say sorry a lot,” Shawn said between laughs, I couldn’t help but laugh as well.

I happily walked down the street, a smile on my face, and my head held up high. Suddenly, my phone began to buzz. It was Brit, finally. I quickly answered, “hey, how are ya?” I said cheerfully, “well someone is in a good mood,” Brit scoffed, “wait, what’s wrong?” I asked my happy mood dimming, “maybe the fact that you left me last night? Or you didn’t answer any of my calls? Or you ran away with a boy!”

People were leaving quickly, large groups disappearing in the blink of an eye. “Your party is dying, just like my friendships.” I joked, “oh shush, you have plenty more than me,” Shawn said, “uh hello you’re famous,” I argued, “sureeee, famous,” Shawn rolled his eyes. We both shared a small laugh together, eventually the place emptied, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. “Alrighty where are your trash bags?” I asked while standing up, “what do you mean?” he asked, “I’m gonna help you clean up,” I said with a smile, Shawn rolled his eyes knowing he wouldn’t be able to stop me, “under the sink,” he said. I happily skipped over to the kitchen, grabbing a big black trash bag. I began to walk around, picking up confetti, cups, and poppers. I quickly looked in the living room, Shawn was sweeping, I then went back to picking up cups.

“I didn’t run away, he kindly invited me to stay the night.” I explained, “yeah and you fucked him!” she shouted into the phone, “Brit please calm down, I didn’t- why would you think I’d do that?” I questioned, “because! That’s what you do!” she argued. I stopped in my tracks, realizing that I was almost at the apartment from walking so fast. “Please Brit, I’m sorry okay?” I begged, “no! You left me!” she yelled, “bloody hell Brit! What about the fifty fucking times you left me?” I finally raised my voice. Suddenly, Brit hung up. “Jesus christ,” I mumbled as I turned around and walked in the other direction.

“I can sweep if you want?” I asked, “no, you can mop though,” Shawn said happily, “hey, I’ll clean for you, but you can do the puke.” I joked, we both laughed, Shawn walked over and handed me the broom. I watched as he walked away, he swung his hips. “Work it!” I shouted, I could hear Shawn’s chuckle from the other room.

I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t sad, I was disappointed. Not only was I disappointed at Brit, but I was disappointed in myself. Yes, she is my best friend, but I still feel guilty, even if what I did wasn’t wrong. I slowed down my pace, trying to calm down before I went, but it was hard, my heart was pounding heavily, I felt light headed, I felt weak, because of a fight with my best friend.

“I think that’s it,” I said happily, “yeah, thank you Y/n for helping me,” Shawn said with a smile, “its really nothing,” I said blushing a bit..

Nothing? It meant so much to me..

“Its really kind of you, thank you,” Shawn said, “jeez you don’t need to say it twice, I get the point,” I said the giggled. Shawn smiled as he put the trash bag down, slowly walking over to me..

“Jesus, my heart is beating fast again,” I mumbled to myself..

There was a small silence, as his tall body towered over my own. "You're like a giant," I managed to spit out, Shawn chuckled at my comment, "I'm well aware," he said while gesturing to my height. Small smiles were placed on our faces, as we just stared into each others eyes. Suddenly, I felt Shawn's hand brush up against my own, I could feel my cheeks go red, I now looked away from Shawn and at our hands. His thumb slowly rubbing a soft circle on the back of my hand, eventually I gave in, interlacing my fingers with his own. His hand was large, probably big enough to have both of mine in his, it was soft like a pillow, small little crevices in his palm, his hand was warm like a heater, which was wonderful considering mine were always cold. Shawn's other hand crept upon my cheek, slowly putting a stray hair behind my ear, he knew how to do all the right things. His thumb was placed under my chin, making me look up at him, I nervously bit my lip, butterflies in my stomach heavily flapping their wings and- his lips pressed up against my own, kissing me slowly and passionately, they were soft, the kiss was wonderful. My other hand came up and grabbed onto his shoulder. His hand caressing my face, his thumb rubbing small circles on my cheek bone. I finally kissed back, I could tell Shawn was taken by surprise. The kiss became more heated and passionate, but we still kept things slow, it was nice of him being respectful and all. Eventually we pulled away, both out of breath, staring into each other's eyes once again. I was speechless, in shock. Both of our cheeks bright pink, he looked adorable. Finally I could say something, "wow, our first kiss in front of trash bags," I mumbled, yet Shawn heard the whole thing and began to laugh with me..

I quickly went up the stairs, over to his door and knocked. Only a few moments later I got a reply. “Y/n? What are you doing here?” Shawn asked, “h-hi,” I stuttered. Shit

[cloneslugs]

RED engie + medic >:] and lucifer morningstar + michael jon carter

MY LADS Q___Q !!! also the ask cut off on mobile and i thought you were asking for just “michael” and i thought you meant ?? the angel i was like fuck do you care

read more cuz i didnt realize how lengthy this would get 

engie is trans and gay i have a joke kinda headcanon that he has a husband somewhere maybe back in tx (or maybe just a bf in teufort) that he is very sweet on and they talk basically everyday that nobody knows about bc he,,, keeps to himself and its never come up and medic like kills him for keeping from him BUT in all seriousness ! he is trans and gay he’s open about it in the sense that he is always ready to offer advise and help to anyone having a rough day and needs help maneuvering through things !! he kinda has height dysphoria but it was worse when he was younger by now he’s basically... used to it (medic offers to make him taller though)  also he’s not out as gay to his family,, he’s generally anxious and just kinda soft spoken  

medic..... oh you know.... he is very gay and also very trans + he’s known he’s liked guys since forever !!! he’s like. very kinda flamboyant? about it and i think he’s one of more out there mercs when it comes to his gender + sexuality!! he doesnt care to medically transition and like basically everything else he does w/ his life, in regards to his presentation, he throws basically all social norms out the window and just loves being unapologetically himself >:D !!! he keeps up w/ everyones needed hormones and stuff so he’s like. the only one in the know about everyone else and it actually makes him really happy talking to each of them about their experiences and where they feel they fall in life and its like. the only thing he is actually willingly helpful on daksbauegyk also back to being gay he uh liked heavy first and is just. head over heels for people when he falls for them ;____;

lucy !!!!!! he’s trans just bc.... i can taste the coding -.- and also bi !! i think he’s very much defensive about being trans, moreso than his sexuality at least, he takes it up as some kind of ploy/punishment against his dad or something,, most of his brothers are really sweet tho and they love him :] (the good ones at least,,, like the ones who actually like him and dont want to kill him,,]) [this is kinda hard bc im working w/ my somewhat fleshed out idea of him + trying to mix in TV luci + comic bc you dont know anything abt.. comix] he likes to dress nice/formally, i think thats is fav thing about earth is all the ways you can express yourself (i have lots of hc for his self expression sorry) he wears lots of fun suits!!! he loves using religious imagery for his fashion as a kind of ‘fuck you’ to everyone else!! Maze is his absolute best supporter!!! she would do anything for him and she helped him gather a fashion sense when they both first landed,, -.-

michael !! he’s trans masc + either gay or bi? if the latter he prefers guys :) he hides a lot of his insecurity behind a big facade of confidence but he really likes being gnc and just ! out there :D he gets crushes really easily =.=  he’s not out to anyone on the league as trans officially but a handful of them have figured it out through their various means unintentionally !! i think part of him thinks being an obnoxious dude like maybe in part of his dad,, is like the best way to pass but he does it with a good heart and doesnt actually try to be rude or anything just,, a little obnoxious and in your face :) he loves hanging out with the other lgbt members and he really tries to bond over it, but some of them are a lot more like >.> idk .. less open about it and think he’s weird !!! i think he and ted have a kind of on and off thing , they’re best friends and at some point they thought they would work out but its like nah but we like to kiss :) he’s kinda really insecure about his face he gets called pretty a lot (moreso in a “pretty boy” sense than anything but he still is like. ok) so he hides his face w/ his costume also maybe he looks up to bruce a lot he cant tell if its a crush or not

[adelmortescryche]

YOI Academic Week - Day One

AN: Not sure if I’m going to be able to contribute to every day of this event, not with how weird my health has been off-late, but here I am with my day one fill, @yoiacademicweek! This fills the prompt “Sleeping in Random Places on Campus”. It got a lot longer than I thought it would, but hey, slice of life and fluff.

Premise: Victor and Yuuri keep running into each other on campus whenever Yuuri falls asleep in strange places. They somehow manage to fall for each other over a course of multiple meetings anyway, no matter how weird the circumstances. AU in that Victor and Yuuri are both studying at the same, unnamed university, and Victor isn’t a figure skater. He still skates, though. *wry grin*

As a disclaimer, I came up with all the instagram ids at the end on my own, if they happen to correlate to existing accounts, it’s a complete coincidence.

“We really should stop meeting this way.”

Still in the throes of sleep, Yuuri blinked blearily, registering after a long moment that he wasn’t at home, instead curled up in a comfortable niche he’d found at the integrative learning center. He’d had over an hour till the next bus home showed up, and after a long day, he’d figured he may as well catch a few winks when he got the chance.

It took another moment before he registered he’d been spoken to.

Warily peering over his shoulder, he almost collapsed and rolled right out of his niche in relief. Not a stranger deciding to pick on the creepy Asian dude curled up in a ball; probably overdressed for the weather, but who gave a fuck. Well, the man was still technically a stranger in that Yuuri still didn’t actually know his name, but- he was a stranger-friend bearing hot coffee that smelled divine. And Yuuri was poor and weak and cold, and-

His stranger-friend gave a warm laugh, surrendering the coffee without any complaint. Yuuri already had a quarter of the cup down his gullet, groaning happily, before he registered that the man actually had another cup to himself, and was leaning against the wall beside where Yuuri had been curled up, smiling softly into his cup. Oh.

“Um. Thank you,” he offered awkwardly, forcing himself to stop guzzling coffee like a rude ass. It just earned him another laugh though, the other man’s lips rounding out into an adorable heart-shape that had Yuuri’s mouth going dry. And had Yuuri rushing for the coffee, again, just to give himself something to do that didn’t involve staring like a thirsty fool.

Well, it probably made him look thirsty, alright, but at least he didn’t seem thirsty-

Oh god.

“I need more sleep. And probably a lot more coffee than this,” he mumbled to himself, a little helplessly, and managed to reduce his stranger-friend to tiny little snickers that he made no effort to hide. Well, at least he was cute. Even if he was laughing at Yuuri.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened. Yuuri didn’t make it a habit of accepting coffee from strangers, no matter how lovely the stranger or how delicious smelling the coffee. He had at least some preservation instincts. Even if he did have the bad habit of falling asleep in strange places all of the time. Phichit had actually started making a gag reel for it on YouTube, had created a brand new tagging system on Instagram just to capture Yuuri in different stages of slumber in unexpected places. Like, oh, at the side of a fountain. Under a tree. In a tree, on its branches, because that got Yuuri away from the bustle of students on the ground. On a bench by the lake, in nicer weather, because right now everything outside was a frozen wasteland and Yuuri would rather find nice, cozy corners that came with central heating.

Anyway, back to the topic. Yuuri didn’t make it a habit of accepting coffee from lovely strangers. But he’d run into this specific stranger-friend enough times that he had to admit that his stranger-danger gauge had run a little low.

“We could just go and get coffee at the coffee shop in the library.” The stranger-friend offered, and Yuuri turned to eye him through narrow eyes.

He just kept smiling, though, his icy-blue eyes lit up with good humor, ash-blond hair ruffled slightly and damp from melting flakes of snow. He didn’t even have the decency to wear anything warmer than a light peacoat and shirt, damn him, while Yuuri felt like he’d be frozen stiff if he didn’t bundle into multiple layers. At least it wasn’t a bloody hoodie, but then, from what Yuuri had seen of the other man, hoodies were beneath him, outside of exercise days. No matter how comfortable.

“Maybe we’d actually get to talk for once? Without you needing to go running to catch a bus home, or needing to rush off for your next class? Or, oh, what was it last time-”

“Books that I needed to drop off in my advisor’s office,” Yuuri muttered, feeling his cheeks burn. They weren’t excuses, okay, he’d actually had to do all of those things. The accusation that he’d been making excuses to run away would make him irate, but really, there’s not much accusation in the other man’s tone. And so much more honest amusement, like he’s laughing with Yuuri at their situation, instead of laughing at him for being such a dumpster fire at life.

“So? Want to get that coffee?” he asked, again, and Yuuri’s about to say yes. Except that he noticed the time and fuck, there goes his bus, and there isn’t going to be another one that night if he doesn’t catch this one-

The stranger-friend took one look at his face, sighed, and nodded, still smiling.

Yuuri catapulted himself out of his niche, scrabbling on the waxed floors, and all but dived through the doors he shoved open. It isn’t till he’s standing and heaving for breath on his bus, still clutching at his coffee cup, that he realized that he’d somehow run without getting the stranger-friend’s name yet again.

*

It started something like this. They’d still been in fall, and Yuuri had already started delving through the sweater bins in the discount sales sections of any store he headed to. Mostly so he could buy them in bulk to supplement his need to stay warm, with the constant litany that there would be a day he would hit it big as a skater and then he’d be able to get all the expensive sweaters and coats he wanted on sponsorship money. A complete filthy lie, Yuuri would never do anything of the sort, but it was something to tell himself.

It had been a really long day, and he’d just hunkered down on the stairs, close to the wall, trusting the fact that he’d picked the side stairwell of the library to ensure that no one would bug him. Head down on his knees, arms hiding most of what could be seen of the top of his head, and dead to the world within thirty seconds. And yeah, that’s how tired he’d been.

When he’d woken up, he almost crashed into the person crouching in front of him, reaching out as though to shake him awake.

“Uh, it’s just, you’ve been here for at least three hours, I promise I’m not a creep?” the stranger stuttered, his pretty blue eyes really wide.

Yuuri gaped back at him, not sure how he was supposed to react to that. Except, fuck, yes he did know how to react to that. And it was-

“MY BUS! God-fucking-damnit, this had to happen the one time Phichit-kun wasn’t in town, didn’t it-”

And off he’d rushed before the beautiful stranger could get any more words out.

*

It hadn’t ended there, oh no. Yuuri might have had some sanity left if it’d ended at there. No, instead, he’d somehow managed to run into the stranger, quickly dubbed the stranger-friend in his head, all over campus. And these meetings happened only when he’d been asleep first, because someone out there loved to see Yuuri squirm. Obviously.

From lonely stairwells to booths in cheap restaurants to underneath desks in their library and, one particularly embarrassing time, dozing at the counter during the shift Phichit begged him to cover at the coffee shop. He’d come awake with a start, and had almost toppled over – the only reason he hadn’t was because the stranger-friend had nearly dived over the counter, arms outstretched, to keep him in place.

Then there was the time he’d fallen asleep at the fucking bus stop-

What Yuuri was trying to say, was… there had been many, many times he’d been caught sleeping at strange places by the stranger-friend. It had gotten to the point that Phichit actually asked him about the meetings with his mysterious, handsome stranger-friend, tongue in cheek. While Yuuri valiantly protested that there weren’t any ‘meetings’ to speak of.

*

Yuuri blinked awake, promptly jerking in shock when he noticed the particularly familiar ash-blond haired form curled up on the couch opposite from where Yuuri was curled up into his own armchair. Staring in disbelief for a few seconds had apparently been enough to make the other man register the scrutiny and blink awake as well. When he noticed the way Yuuri had been staring, though, he just offered up a sheepish grin.

“You look so comfortable sleeping all the time. I thought I’d wait to say hi, but I ended up falling asleep too.”

The words made Yuuri flush, just a bit, but they also made him laugh. How could he not, really, when he saw how awkward the other man looked. His laughter had the added effect of making his stranger-friend relax immediately, too, so win-win.

“I’m Yuuri,” Yuuri managed to get out, once his laughter died away. When the other man’s brows rose, Yuuri cracked a wry grin his way.

“Katsuki Yuuri. Or, uh, Yuuri Katsuki, you’d say. Hi.”

“Hi,” his stranger-friend repeated, bemused, before cracking a grin of his own.

“I’m Victor Nikiforov! I’ve seen you practicing at the rink a couple of times, I doubt you’d have seen me, we have different practice times and I know you’re very focused when you’re on the ice-”

The words had Yuuri gaping. Because he hadn’t expected anything of the sort.

*

For the first time in months, Yuuri had nowhere to rush to, and so, he had all the time in the world to curl up in a booth in the coffee shop with Victor opposite him, finally getting the chance to actually talk. It turned out that Victor was not only older than him, but he was also at the University for a Graduate Degree in Comparative Literature. They were in completely different departments, and Victor took classes in Russian for beginners, not English 101 like several others in his cohort, so there hadn’t been any chance of them running into each other in a more formal setting there either.

And the first time Victor had seen him, he’d been rushing down the stairs and had nearly tripped right over Yuuri when he’d been sitting in the stairwell.

The expression on Victor’s face had Yuuri collapsing sideways, shaking with hilarity. Victor just watched him with an exasperated smile, sipping slowly at his black tea. Yuuri had seen him dart across to the abandoned breakfast counter to grab a couple containers of jam to empty into his cup, early on, much to his horror, but Victor had seemed very happy with his choice of drink. Victor had seemed about as horrified by how dark he took his coffee, anyway, so Yuuri supposed they made a good pair.

Adding as much sugar and milk as he’d have liked would have pissed Celestino off, anyway, so Yuuri would just have to abstain. At least until the off-season.

“And why did you try to wake me up?” he asked breathlessly, peering over the edge of the table once he managed to bring his laughter under control.

Victor was still watching him with that smile of his, his expression something that Yuuri couldn’t understand too well all on his own, but Yuuri stared back at him anyway, waiting patiently for a response. Victor hummed thoughtfully, after a moment, and pressed his chin into the support of his hand, his elbow balancing on the table.

“I’d had to head out and get some work done, after almost tripping over you. And then I’d come back, and had been heading back to the reading rooms above, but there I found you, still fast asleep. You’d looked so peaceful, and I’d gone multiple nights without sleep, and I’d probably been a little jealous-”

“Hey, now-” Yuuri cut in, beginning to grin, but Victor cut him off in turn, smiling softly.

“But mostly, I’d woken you up because I knew you’d been sleeping there for a really long time. And judging from where you’d decided to take a nap, I didn’t think you’d actually planned on falling asleep for that long. So I thought I should be a nice guy and nudge you awake.”

“You almost gave me a heart attack, you know,” Yuuri countered mildly, trying to hide his grin. Victor didn’t make any effort of the sort, his lips rounding out into that heart-shaped smile that Yuuri had seen the last time around all over again. Yuuri wished they wouldn’t, that expression did weird things to the organ pumping away inside his chest.

“You did the same, I think, when I saw you dozing at the bus stop. I think you nearly mowed me down while trying to catch your bus.”

“Hey, I didn’t have any other buses left to catch, that night. It’s not my fault if we keep running into each other right before I’m about to miss my bus.”

“Or hand in a paper, or running late for a meeting, or-”

“Hey.”

Victor’s just looked more delighted than before, damn him. So Yuuri had to admit defeat, instead levering himself upright again, and grumbling into his coffee.

They exchanged phone numbers before heading out for the night, and the sight of Victor’s name in his contact list left a warm glow in Yuuri’s chest. Even if it did make Phichit go around with a smug expression for the rest of the week.

*

The next time he fell asleep in the lobby of his department, he woke to Victor scribbling away in a notebook beside him, intimidatingly thick and musty texts sitting open on the table before them. When he made a muzzy, questioning sound, Victor glanced back at him, and waved at him to go back to sleep.

Well. Okay then. If Victor said so.

The next time he managed to get himself back awake, it was to find that Victor had managed to fall asleep as well, heavy books pushed haphazardly to the side and head pillowed on his arms, somehow managing to look like a vision of beauty even while drooling in his sleep. Yuuri had to muffle his laughter into his sleeves, instead doodling a quick message into the side of Victor’s still opened scribbling notebook before heading off. It made sense to be the one buying the hot drinks for a change, right.

The way his eyes lit up when Yuuri proffered a cup of tea, plus teeny-tiny packets of jam on the side, was worth everything, anyway.

*

phichit+chu

[ image: a lithe figure wearing the JSF’s official Olympic jacket zipped all the way to the top, fast asleep with his mouth hanging open slightly, blue half-rimmed spectacles hanging low on his nose. Pillowed on his lap is another figure, face hidden, recognizable only by his ash blond hair and the name visible on the back of his Team Russia jersey. The first figure has an arm wrapped loosely around the second figure’s shoulders. ]

7,523 likes

phichit+chu look at my boys being #relationshipgoals even years down the line! congrats on winning gold yet again, @katsuki-y and @v-nikiforov! #showstoppers #yuurikatsuki #victornikiforov #teamrussia #pyeongchang2018 #olympicgold2018

mayamaylou aw they’re so cute they must be so tired #relationshipgoals

ammellorine d’aww zzzzz :D

phichit+chu @mayamaylou hah more like one fell asleep and the other tracked the first one down and then they were both dead to the world! but yeah they’re cute

christophe-gc sleeping so soundly, the both of them

y-plisetsky ugh

mila-babicheva don’t be mean yura but hey now we know where vitya’s gotten to #imsleepytoo #zzz #relationshipgoals

katsuki-y phichit-kun!

phichit+chu welp guess who’s awake save me from your husbando @v-nikiforov i’m too young and pretty to die

v-nikiforov my sleeping beauty and the prince of my heart in one ❤❤❤ #lifeandlove #alwayswakethesleepingbeauty

naiagurl theyve been together since college gimme a gf like that #relationshipgoals

katsuki-y vitya!

phichit+chu *laughs forever*

y-plisetsky why do all of you have to be so gross

mila-babicheva vitya abandon ship i think yakov spotted you

viktuurifan101 this entire thread is #blessed

[mystic-sky]

Can I request a RFA+v request? A high school au where they're new to your school and everyone wants they're attention and your kinda like the wallflower of the school and they notice and develop a crush on you? Thanks

Of course, enjoy :)

Yoosung

actually one of the most approachable ones

you kept to yourself most of the time even though you thought he was cute

He asked you to show him around once

“Out of all the girls that throw themselves at you you’re asking me?” You said, a little unsure of his true intentions.

“You think they’re throwing themselves at me? I genuinely thought they were being friendly just because I was new haha.”He chuckled, scratching behind his head.

he’s a cinnamon roll he didn’t know 

“But you’re the only one who hasn’t spoke to me directly in the whole class… I’d like to be friends with you too.” He says.

“Wha-Why?” You say, faced flushed red.

“I guess it’s because I think you’re pretty cute.”

slick boi

you’re pudding right now

Zen

“Why don’t you just talk to him, MC?”

“Are you out of your freaking mind?! Me?! Talk to him?! He’s practically a celebrity!” You say, burying your face into your arms on the desk.

“He seems pretty laid back. Just go and talk to him.”

“Laid back..?” You said, looking up at him from across the room. He was surrounded by girls, who all adored him.

Suddenly, he makes eye contact with you and winks.

You shake your head vigorously.

“MC, he just winked at you.”

“No he didn’t.” You spat towards your friends.

Later on you were packing up your things to leave after club practice. You heard a sound.

“Who’s there?!” You say, you were the only person left on this floor.

“I’m VP of the Karate club! I’ll fuck you up if I have to-

“Relax it’s just me.” Zen says, holding his hands up in defense. “I left my jacket behind my chair. He says, pointing to it.

“Oh..”

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He says, walking slowly to his desk. He cautiously picks up the jacket.

“Are we cool?” He asks.

“O-oh…yeah… we’re cool I guess.” You say, calming down.

you pack your things and head towards the door.

“You know, you’re actually pretty cute.”

“Like you don’t say that to everyone.” You say, looking back at him.

“I compliment people when compliments are due.” He shrugs. “But I’d like to get to know you better.”

He takes your hand and kisses it

blush blush

things go from there

you don’t really get why he’s into you but you roll with it

Jaehee

She’s down to earth

talks to everyone

including you

that made it easier for you since she was so popular with the guys

“Nice to meet you, MC. I’m looking forward to being class mates with you.” She said.

blush blush

“Oh-Uh… nice to meet you too.” You manage to get out.

She’s gorgeous but doesn’t really react to the male attention

it’s all about you and her

You guys become study buddies

its great

y’all are great

Jumin

He’s so serious

He’s like the Kyoya Ootori of your entire class

He’s been in your school for couple months and he’s got tons of love confessions already

“I heard he’s never accepted anyone’s love confession before.”

“Must be rough for any girl who ends up liking him.”

“Yeah, dude’s ice cold in the love department.”

“You think he’s gay?”

“Does Jumin Han is gay?”

You liked him too but with all the rumors going around he seemed so unreachable.

Your dreams came true one day when you got paired for a science project.

“Jesus MC, you’re so lucky.”

“Yeah, you’ll probably get to go over to his house. He’s like super rich!”

You were nervous af

When free period came around, you finally approached him about the project.

He was pretty rude though

“I’m not interested.” He said bluntly.

“..What?” You say confused.

“This is another one of those stupid love confessions right? I’m not interested. You can go away now.” He said, cocking his head to the side, leaning on the palm of his hand.

You were pissed now. It didn’t matter if you liked him anymore.

“This isn’t a love confession. I’m MC. Remember we got paired for a project, you dick.”

His eyes widen.

 “Anyways, I already have some ideas about how I want it to be laid out. I’d appreciate it if you sucked up that snobby attitude of yours and got to know your classmates a little better. Not everyone’s in love with you.”

i love him what do you mean

He’s taken aback now.

“Ah.. sorry. You’re definitely right. I’m Jumin. Jumin Han.” His lips curved into a smirk.

Sassy

he likes it

ends up liking you

707 (Saeyoung)

He was quite popular

He’s super silly though

and loUD

you can’t help but think he’s cute

but you’re so soft spoken you don’t know how to talk to him

he sits behind you in class and he makes you super nervous

one day he falls asleep in class and you cover for him when the teacher called.

you stepped on his foot and he jolted awake

“X=3, Y=6.” You whispered.

at first he didn’t get it.

“I’m waiting, Saeyoung.” The teacher said, tapping her foot.

“X=3? Y=6?” He guessed.

“Correct. Now don’t fall asleep again in my class or you’ll be getting a call home.” She turned back towards the board.

“Yes m’am.”

A couple moments later he tossed a note on your desk when no one was looking.

It read: Thanks for helping me out there, cutie

you were blushing now from ear to ear

He thinks I’m cute?

You turned around to look at him, and he’s grinning at you.

Your heart’s fluttering now.

Later on he stops you outside of class

“Wanna hang out sometime?”

“Y-You wanna hang out with me?” You stuttered.

“Yeah, you’re adorable.” He says, flashing you a toothy grin.

V(Jihyun)

he’s literally the nicest popular guy you’ve ever seen

usually they’re all so snobby

but him, he’s a cinnamon roll

You first notice him when you’re at lunch with your friends

Everyone wanted to sit with him

He’s so down to earth he doesn’t mind all the constant attention

You bumped into him on accident this one time in the hallway. You were caring tons of boxes to the faculty room. You didn’t even see him because your face was covered.

“Who let a lovely young lady such as yourself carry all this alone?” He says, taking half the stack away from from you.

“Oh I’m so sorry-

Oh shit it’s V

“I-It’s okay, I can handle it!” You insist.

“You can’t even see where you’re going. Let me help you out.” He said. “Now, which way to the faculty room?” 

You lead the way, walking further ahead. 

You’re nervous af

“And this one goes where?” He asks.

“On that shelf to the left.” You pointed. “Thanks so much again, V.”

“Don’t mention it. MC, was it?”

“Mhm.” You assured him.

“I have to say, you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” 

blush blush

“W-Who me?” You say, pointing to yourself. “I’m positive you’ve seen girls way prettier than I am that go here.”

“Probably. But you’re the only girl that’s caught my eye.”

but you cant even see though

things hit it off from there

yall start dating

its wonderful

[paniccord-ff]

41.

Staring as the guys unloaded Chris’ ugly dog’s, I didn’t want to actually bring these back but I can’t do that to him. I really don’t want to deal with a bunch of dog’s but I guess I got no choice, I was supposed to be flying out to see Chris but I have things to do in LA and I need to see Mark, give him the pictures I want. I know they said to do this quick but it took me two days with the help of Maria, they can wait on me “erm no” I pointed “these go around the back, I will open the gate” they was about to bring the dog’s in the home, noticing Chris’ precious dog is a little sad “what you done to this dog? He is usually the one to jump and be happy” the foreign dude shrugged “mhmmm” seeing the French bulldog’s rushing over “let me find out you guys done something to these” I mean I don’t hate the dog’s but I just don’t like them “what’s good!” looking behind me seeing Mijo, I told him to come “oh hey Barry, I need you to help with this” walking behind the dog’s “oh yeah, look at this big boy. You good Zeus?” he seems so sad, it’s little face too “you missed home didn’t you” Mijo hugged the dog “you just need some loving” Mijo rubbed his back “uh yeah, just take the rest to the back” walking closer to Zeus, now I know his name “is he ok?” looking down at him, crouching down as the dog laid down on his side “I think he will be good, he was just missing home. It’s good now” touching his head, poor baby.

Chris is supposed to be calling me “Barry, you mind? I am just going to drop this off at the office to Mark” he is in the home so I can go “for sure, take your time” my phone started ringing, finally “took your time babe” picking my keys up from the side “I got your dog’s back” making my way outside “aww really? Are they good? Thank you so much, I know you don’t think highly of my dog’s and you promised me and you did it” pulling the door open “yeah well, I keep to my word. I had to pay some stupid price but they home, your favourite white one is sad as hell. Before you ask I am not facetiming because I need to see Mark, you agree with the pictures?” unlocking the Range “wait, hold up. Zeus is sad?” he really about to do this “what about me?” I retorted “but that is my dog, ok fine. Erm yeah, but you can see your side boob and stomach? I mean I ain’t want a nigga to be looking at you, I agree on it but you going to have niggas wanting you” closing the Range door “well, it is just pictures, I don’t really care. If you don’t like it, I will say to them no?” I won’t have this upsetting him “uh nah, truthfully it is not that bad. I am just being fussy, I want you to myself” placing my phone in the carrier and putting it on speakerphone.

I should have really got a bottle of water from the home, it doesn’t matter now because I am half way down the drive “did Mijo come then? What are you doing now? You are supposed to be on the Jet now? Seriously, come back to me” poking my bottom lip out, he is so cute “I am going to Mark’ office, tell him what pictures and then get some food for Mijo and I and then maybe nap?” slowing down my speed to reach over and get my shades from the seat “Rylee! Please, you can’t do this to me. I am in Sweden, I have a day off with nothing to do and I want to do you” he paused “please” a smile played on my face “I think I want to do you more than you want to do me” I paused thinking on what I just said “does that even make sense but anyways, you only want to see me because you are saying my boobs have gone bigger” I should have facetimed him, he is ever so cute on it “you damn right, before you take your nipple piercing out I want to play with it with my tongue, your boobs look so good. Rylee, your body is so bomb” giggling aloud “I made Chris Brown cum just by showing him my thighs” shaking my head smiling “lies!! You showed me your pussy too, you were wet and then played it off. I made Rylee Turner wet over my dick, huh?” childish ass, he is so annoying “you get wet over my dick being soft which is weird, I don’t get it!” trying to contain my smile “I hate you, honestly” I don’t want to laugh but he is not wrong.

Locking my car door behind me making my way to the Wilhelmina office “anyways baby, I will call you back. I am at the office now, after I get some food and ate I will call” Chris sighed out so heavily “you being mad rude, please Rylee. I beg you, please come to me, I want you so bad. Not even in a sexual way, please!!” he is making me feel bad “it’s not that I don’t want too, who is going to look after your home?” we can’t trust anybody anymore and he knows that “you mean our home and I will get someone, please. Why don’t you want to come?” standing outside the building “because then New York, I just want to rest I guess. I hate Jet Lag, I have a lot to do in LA like the home needs doing up, I need to start wedding shopping. Look, I am coming, let me just go back and pack. I miss you so I will come” I can’t just not see him after this “I get it, but we can travel to New York together, the shows will be done. I will be all yours and we will baby and wedding shop, just let me worry about the home” he is trying to stop me worrying but I can’t “if you say, but we need to fight for Royalty, I want her at the wedding” Chris groaned out “don’t start with that, Mark called and Nia already set up a court date when I am in Europe. I said to him that was fast? He goes well you’re not paying and it’s like a big case, she is acting like Royalty is hungry” shaking my head “tell my dumb ass brother to get her boyfriend, I want fucking details before I come to Sweden!” Chris chuckled “you gangster as fuck Rylee, I will tell him. Talk soon, I love you” I only get gangster for Chris “I love you too handsome” disconnecting the call.

I hate waiting around, this is so annoying “Mark will see you now” the lady said, turning on my heels making my way to the room “I wasn’t expecting you here, I am so sorry” Mark met me outside his office “it’s fine, I should have called beforehand” he gave me a hug, he always loves hugging me “come on in, I would offer you something to drink but I don’t do anything besides Whiskey, Vodka or Chris’ favourite Hennessey” he closed the door behind me “well I am out of luck with that, I just came to drop off the USB and I have done what Daniel messaged me to do, I deleted the pictures I dislike and left the ones I like and agree too. The photoshopped picture Chris agrees too so that could be the cover or maybe not, Chris has also seen the pictures and is very happy” placing the USB on his desk “perfect, will pass this to Daniel. I have not spoken to Chris but what would you say in working with other males, nothing dirty just a photoshoot with other males around” I paused thinking “I don’t know, if Chris is around yes” Mark sat in his chair “right, I will speak to Chris. We could have a big contract for you, this very company looked at your Instagram and liked you from there” he is keeping this away from me “oh who?” I want to know “when it’s finalised I will tell you, but all I am going to tell you is that, expect big exposure. Fashion week is coming and you will be wanted, also aiming for the pregnancy shoot. Don’t hold me to that right now but I am aiming for it, will speak to your manager and start from there, see you at New York beautiful?” I want to know and he won’t tell me “whatever, I might decline now that you won’t tell me but see you in New York, keep in contact” he is being secretive, Chris will tell me so I don’t care.

Eyeballing the hairy dog laying on my couch, oh Mijo did not “it’s fine, we getting a new couch” placing the food on the counter “oh, I just thought I would give him some love” I will be getting new couches “well I need to catch a flight to Sweden, Chris wants me there” Mijo walked over to me “yeah he called me, I am housesitting but I'm gonna take Zeus to the vet. I don’t think he is well” now I feel bad again “oh, ok well that is fine. I hope he is ok, he seems sad” I spoke too soon, the dog looked up “you’re not a dog person, right?” shaking my head “then I am marrying Chris that loves to breed them, he needs to not get anymore” the dog made its wayover to me “aww Zeus you came to see mommy” pulling a face at Mijo “excuse me?” I spat, feeling this dog sniff me “if Chris is dad you’re the mother, come on Rylee. It is not hard to figure out” rolling my eyes at him.

I wonder what kind of weather Sweden has, I mean who goes to Sweden. I've never thought of going to such a place, thanks to Chris he has given me this opportunity. I couldn't have asked for a better husband, he worries about me too much though. He went to Sweden for me early so the jet could come here to get me, now I said to him I will fly commercial but he wouldn't let me, I even said just get another jet but he said that's his personal jet. I have no idea but I honestly didn't feel like travelling, my emotions are everywhere. I be feeling horny, sad and hungry all at the same time. At the end end of the day I couldn't let Chris down, he honestly is so happy for me to come and I miss him a lot too.

[terselylove]

33 Psychological Tricks To Help You Win Arguments And Make Others Uncomfortable

1. Stare an their forehead just between and slightly above the eye-line while talking to someone. It throws them off their game and they have a harder time lying to you or trying to influence you.

2. When they want to fight remain calm and agree with them. It frustrates them that they can’t rile you up and ends up showcasing how much of an asshole they really are, and essentially exposes them for being an aggressor/manipulator.

3. I have a nervous habit of acting like everything is normal when it’s not. I don’t do it to fuck with people intentionally but it does have that effect. I had a boss who was yelling at me (he was that way, I hadn’t really done anything wrong), and I kept talking slow sips of my coffee throughout and that really triggered him. I crack up when I think back on him getting all fired up, turning red, then purple, then screaming that I needed to stop drinking coffee.

4. When I know someone dislikes me or is indifferent or cold I’ll ask them to do simple favors for me, things like passing me a drink from a table, or doing a small easy menial task and then thank them and tell them they really helped me out. People in general are self-observing and want to make sense of their own actions. By helping you, subconsciously they will slowly change their opinion of you from negative to positive.

It’s an easy way to build relationships, and although it doesn’t fuck with someone in a conscious way sometimes people just end up your friend and have no idea how or why…

5. Confusing people is always the best strategy. If someone is yelling? Ask them if they want sand. Are they in an uncomfortable situation? Ask if they want sand. Are they crying? Comfort them, then say in a calm voice, “Do you want some sand?” Works every time.

6. When asking someone something, nod your head a little bit, and they’ll probably agree to do it and can’t figure out why.

7. Whenever someone is insulting me, I just agree with them:

“Hey you’re really ugly.”

“Yep. I know.”

They never know what to do.

8. Reverse psychology… my sister takes my stuff away, I don’t complain or pretend not to notice. She returns it to me in less than a minute. Works every time.

9. Pretend you’re terrible at lying so when you really need to lie people believe your telling the truth.

10. When in a position of power, offer the person under you a choice of responsibility. This gives them a greater sense of importance because you, a superior, offered it to them before others. I worked as a camp counselor and this method worked wonders.

11. Give someone a sincere compliment during an argument. If they are decent people, It’ll throw them off guard. They will then feel inclined to be more pliable.

12. If your on public transport and you don’t want anyone sitting next to you, when your victim (potential transport neighbor) looks like they are about to sit next to you. Smile at them and pat the seat next to you.

13. If you know you’re right but someone is doing their best to argue with you just for the sake of arguing say something like “yeah whatever. I know you are smart enough to understand that it is X.” It’s hard to explain exactly why this works but I use this tactic and it usually shuts people down. I guess because they feel like if they keep trying to argue Y they will look stupid.

14. Silence. Whenever someone says something stupid, or makes an unreasonable request, I just sit there in silence for a long, uncomfortable moment. Makes people second guess everything, start confessing the stupid things they did that led us to this moment or, ideally, gets them to go and figure out a way to take care of the problem they created on their own. Incredibly effective on the phone.

15. Does someone at work treat you as if you’re beneath them? Nothing better than walking by the person never making eye contact, ignoring any hellos from said person. This does not mean stare at the floor or wall, just stare directly ahead as you pass them. Then later, when you pass them in the hallway, you initiate the hello. Later in some setting they’re liking to crack a joke at your expense and ignoring them at which you say “Oh, I didn’t notice you were there, I was deep in thought. You should have said hello.” Completely knocks said person down a peg or two.

16. Say: “You’ve got something on your cheek” while I scratch my nose

They’ll put their hand to their nose.

17. I use the “door-in-the-face” trick a lot with my wife. Basically, if you ask for something crazy big at first and then what you want, you are more likely to get the person to agree to it than if you were just to ask for the original terms by itself. Could you make me a 5-course dinner tonight? No. How about some homemade mac and cheese? Thanks!

18. I work at a drive through and I get a lot of mumblers. Asking to speak up doesn’t work but if you repeat their order back incorrectly everyone’s diction and volume improves.

19. While arguing with someone smirk and shake your head, or chuckle. Drives people absolutely bonkers.

20. If someone is staring at you, look at their shoes. I don’t know why, but this worked for me, for some reason they look away.

21. One of my favorite things to do is just ask someone why they feel the need to always get the last word in. Whenever they try and say something back, just give them that “you’re proving my point” look. Then they stop talking and pout for a while.

22. “Everything people say about you is true.”

23. If you’re in an argument with someone, don’t yell. Instead, speak quietly and softly. This will often calm them down.

24. My fiance, his brothers and his dad all do this thing that we all refer to as “the thing”. They’ll just pretend to give you increeeedibly false information or pretend they have no clue what you’re talking about randomly with the most obvious shit. It’ll be stuff like, we’ll drive past some palm trees and my fiance will say “hey you know they got their name because the guy who discovered them thought they looked like hands!” or one of them will pretend to have never heard of the movie Back to the Future before or something. They always give it up and start laughing but oh my god.

Thankfully, I’ve been with him long enough that I can see it coming from a mile away and I catch him with “you’re doing the thing.”, but for everyone else it’s an absolute trip because they’re SO believable with it.

25. When talking to someone face-to-face, randomly look over their shoulder with a growing look of horror. Once they have checked to see what you were looking at and have turned back around to face you, continue speaking normally. Ignore any expressions of puzzlement.

26. If you’re annoyed that someone is staring at you stare back. Hold eye contact and don’t let go. If they’re still staring even after this shoot them a kiss, usually gets them to look away.

27. Stop talking. They will babble on, far more than they want to.

28. Laughing at a bully who is obviously all bark and no bite.

Had a female friend in high school getting bullied by a boy who was significantly smaller than she was. He only ever gave her issues when he was with his friends, so it was clear that the goal was to impress them. She wanted to kick his ass since she knew she could stomp him, but didn’t want to get suspended so I told her that next time he puts on his show, laugh. Laugh harder than you’ve ever laughed before. Make yourself cry laughing if you can, and watch what happens.

By golly she took my advice and laughed in his face the next time he verbally attacked her. She was with another friend, and the friend joined in on the laughter. He kept going, calling her different names until his face went red, and still kept going even though he ran out of new insults – causing him to repeat himself.

His friends were originally laughing with him, but after only about a minute of this they stopped him. “Dude, they’re laughing at you. This is getting awkward. Just stop and leave it alone…”

He never tried bullying her again, and I just pulled that idea out of my ass on a whim.

29. Ask someone if they know ALL the words to “I’m a little teapot” (emphasis on the word ALL). Vast majority of the time, grown ass adults will start singing “I’m a little teapot.”

30. One of my bosses feels the need to contradict anything I say, no matter how benign. She gets in “moods”, should probably see a therapist.

When she does this I just start agreeing with whatever she says but I phrase it a little differently, and make my tone slightly argumentative, but I’m basically a parrot. Sure enough she’ll contradict what I say. So I do it again, agreeing with her new statement. We can go on like this for a long time. She argues with herself. It doesn’t help anything but I find it amusing. Its the conversational equivalent of my brother grabbing my hand and smacking me in the face with it whilst saying “why are you hitting yourself ? Stop hitting yourself.”

31. I use this trick all the time when someone is yelling at me over the phone.

Stay completely silent.

Don’t ignore them and speak when spoken to but when they are talking, nothing. No “uh-huh”s, no “mmm”s, no “I see”. Nothing. Deprive them of all subconscious feedback.

You really have to work at it because humans naturally try to feed off one another verbally in conversation. The other person will quickly sense that something is wrong in the conversation and it usually throws them off track enough that they stop ranting or yelling and tell you what they actually want.

Best way to shut someone up without being rude. Semiotics professor taught it to me.

It works just as well in person but, face-to-face, you have to also avoid nodding, moving your hands and you have to look them directly in the eyes.

32. Not really a psychological trick but when I was teaching in the inner city, I had a seventh grader yell at me, in front of the whole class, to go fuck myself when I said they needed to stop talking and pay attention. I didn’t yell at them or scold them, just said we don’t speak like that to each other. Then made it an absolute priority to greet them at the door and ask how their day was going. A couple weeks of this and I asked if they wanted to help run my PowerPoint presentations (transition slides when I needed, etc). Before you knew it, they had the positive influence they needed and I had a wonderful ally in helping my class run smoothly. Sometimes when a person acts out against you, it’s because they are hurt. Show them you care and you may change their entire outlook.

33. Telling people “nice socks” even when they’re not visible.

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 22

THE 03/17/17 UPDATE

HERE WE GO, finally an update with a BUNCH of pages for me to comment about. Page 115-126, how exciting. God I need to get better with intro’s I’m sorry.

Heh, I like how everybody’s emotions are clear as day here. Anyways, nobody new’s here which makes me hope that this cast of characters will continue to interact and mingle.

W o ah there, calm yourself Vriska. She’s not lookin pleased with Tavvy over there. Also, I love how this is literally the exact same panel other than Vriska.

VRISKA: Wh8t?! VRISKA: The hell are all of you st8ring at???????? MEENAH: 38/

WHAT? IT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL TO PASS OUT DURING A LIFE-THREATENING BATTLE AGAINST AN UNKILLABLE GOD.

Fish gills changed a bit. This animation is also g re a t. I could literally watch Vriska just dust herself off for hours. God that sounded creepy. Fefefri is seeminnnn a lil taken aback here. And Meenah is real disappointed. Or just looking away to please Vriska, which would be cute but is probably not the case.

I love how not good Vriska is at recovering from embarrassing moments.

Oooohhh shit. Le’s behind the Juju im guessing, but that green hole is gettin closer and closer. They might need to start getting out of here soon.

VRISKA: What the hell just HAPPENED?

Homestuck happened.  And you passed out.

Tavros raising his hand like a student. He would totally be the kind of student the teacher always has to pander to, even though the rest of the class is tired of hearing the same thing explained over and over.

TAVROS: dO YOU MEAN, tHE EXPLOSION,,,? TAVROS: oR,,, TAVROS: WAS IT AN ATTACK? TAVROS: iT WAS HARD TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE, TAVROS: sO MAYBE IT DOESN’T MATTER,,,

Was that explosion he’s talking about just the LE mouth blast? I think it’s an attack Tavros. Less of an explosion than it was a beam with boomy results.

VRISKA: Tavros, stop. VRISKA: Just, stop. Right now. I’m already twice over the limit of how much 8ullshit I can take in one day, and your irrit8ing voice is THIS close to giving me a head8che. TAVROS: uHHH,,,? VRISKA: Nope, too l8. Migr8ne city, popul8tion: me! Thanks a 8uttload, 8oy skylark. TAVROS: i,,,iM,,,sORRY,,,? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < yeah sorry about your head vwhiskers but i gotta interject here DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < furst off your head hurts beclaws it got hit with a deadly fuckin laser pointer

Hahah. Get it? Laser pointer. Because. CAT. And also, holy shit Vriska got HIT with that?? Or was it just an explosion thingy FROM the laser pointer that knocked her out.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so blaming it on tavros f33ls purrty damn rude to me tbh DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but i dont really wanna get into a catfight with you right now DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < or maybe not ever cause thats just like NOPE no thanks

You’re the best Davepeta. Almost as great as Vriska.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < cranky vriska? ill pass on that DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < especially since there are like DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < way more important things to be dealing with! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so ill let it slide fur now B33 DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < as you were saying tavros?

So can Davepeta just be Tavros’ wingman? Because holy shit that’d be great. Actually, could this be the beginning of a beautiful PALE ROMANCE?? Probably not because ARquius is totally their soulmate.

TAVROS: wELL,,, tHANK YOU, fOR SPEAKING ON MY BEHALF, eVEN IF IT WASN’T STRICTLY NECESSARY,

It was necessary tavros.

TAVROS: uHHHH,,,

My point exactly.

TAVROS: bIRD NEPETA? TAVROS: oR, wHOEVER YOU ARE, DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < youre half right! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < its davepeta TAVROS: oH, TAVROS: oKAY, TAVROS: sO,,,dAVEPETA,,, TAVROS: dO YOU THINK IT WAS AN ATTACK OR AN EXPLOSION? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < tavros DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < are you holding onto your socks because im about to blow them the fuck off DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i think it was an attack DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < that was ALSO an explosion DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < >B33 TAVROS: }:o

:o MAN, Davepeta you need to chill! I have to go get dressed now, because you just blew my entire OUTFIT off! from shirt to shorts, nothing could withstan the sheer FORCE of your shocking observation.

VRISKA: UGH!!!!!!!!

Shut up Vriska.

Oh. We also got a Porrim back there. And, I guess that’s just Kankri? Maybe the same one, maybe a different? Vriska needs to chill though.

VRISKA: I don’t have TIME for this! VRISKA: Who gives a shit if it was an att8ck or WH8TEVER!!!!!!!! VRISKA: Am I the really only person who c8res about m8king sure the most evil fucker in all of paradox space is FINALLY DE8D FOR GOOD?!?!?!?! VRISKA: Isn’t that what we r8sed an entire army for?? VRISKA: The army that is NOWH8RE TO 8E FOUND, 8Y THE W8Y!!!!!!!!

I think they’re all d e a d Vriska. And you’re assuming way too much of this group of NINCOMPOOPS. They literally are just doing whatever.

MEENAH: vriska VRISKA: WH8T!!!!!!!! MEENAH: you need to krill out for a sec

Exactly. Krill out girl.

VRISKA: NO, *YOU* “KRILL OUT”!!!!!!!! VRISKA: I AM N8T GOING TO KRILL IN A SINGLE FUCKING DIRECTION UNTIL SOME8ODY DECIDES TO OPEN THEIR MOUTH AND FILL ME IN ON WH8T THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!!!!!!!! MEENAH: the armys gone

Yup. Everybody fucking died via death laser.

FFS CHILL Vriska.

VRISKA: GONE?! VRISKA: No SHIT, they’re GONE! VRISKA: Do YOU see a throng of expenda8le, huddled masses anywh8re near8y, Meenah?? 8ecause if so, NOW WOULD 8E A GR8 TIME TO LET ME KNOW! MEENAH: ...

Calm down Vriska, before you push away the people that AREN’T dead. I mean, who know’s if these guys even care enough to keep working for you anyways. I’d say Meenah’s the last person you should be yelling at.

VRISKA: No?? That’s what I fucking THOUGHT. VRISKA: Th8nk you SO much for that astute o8serv8tion! VRISKA: That sure clears up JACK SQU8T! VRISKA: Now how a8out we get 8ack to the LESS immedi8tly o8vious! VRISKA: Gone WHERE? And more importantly, WHY! MEENAH: listen serks i could really do without the attitide MEENAH: if you took two seconds to breathe you could prolly figure it out yourself MEENAH: but if itll help you clam down...

Exactly, Clam down Vriska. Because it doesn’t take a goddamn genius to figure out they’re all dead.

VRISKA: It DEFIN8TELY will. So spill!!!!!!!! MEENAH: they got blasted VRISKA: Are you serious? VRISKA: He took out EVERYONE? In one hit?! MEENAH: nah not all of em MEENAH: but a lotta double death happened yeah MEENAH: i mean the weapon didnt do flip of what it was SUPPOS-ED to do as far as i could tell MEENAH: it did a pretty good job of sheildin our asses MEENAH: (youre whalecome btw)

Meenah, you’re the true hero here. I mean a calm troll who’s powerful, smart, and only sometimes out of order? I’d say that’s the best kinda troll we can get.

MEENAH: but anybody who didnt get behind it MEENAH: definitely got fried VRISKA: So? Where’s Lord English now?? VRISKA: 8ecause if we need to track him down, we need to get on that like, yesterday!

He isn’t still there? I thought he’d just be doing some angry lord english stuff. Hopefully he isn’t causing too much trouble.......

MEENAH: uh MEENAH: dudes still havin a tantrum over there actually

Oh. I was r i g h t .

VRISKA: Then why the hell are we all the w8y out here?! MEENAH: look vriska MEENAH: the plan didnt work MEENAH: you got KOd or passed out or whatever the shell MEENAH: and the army got gutted MEENAH: so i figured the only sensible fin to do was a tactical retreat VRISKA: Okay, fine. That WAS pretty sensi8le. MEENAH: except MEENAH: most of everyone didnt STOP retreatin MEENAH: no matter what inspirational crab i threw at them VRISKA: .......

Oh.

Oh.

so there WERE more survivors, but the most’ve them just bailed on the scene. Damn. Well, who can blame them? Double death isn’t for everyone I suppose.

Well ARADIA sure seems happy :D

MEENAH: sorry aboat your head by the way MEENAH: ill admit that was my bad MEENAH: aint easy to haul ass in sand with dead weight over your shoulder

To the people behind ACT OMEGA: You better get me a gif of Meenah dragging Vriska face down through the sand.

ARADIA: hey! ARADIA: at least theres a bright side to all this

Of COURSE there is AA.

Awe. This team charge hug is actually kinda precious. Tavros’ little smile, and Aradia’s “appreciate him!” look.

ARADIA: tavros convinced a few people to stay ARADIA: right? :D

Oh, well that’s good then! So far, I know we have... Tavros, Aradia, Sollux, Kankri, Porrim, Mituna, Feferi, Latula, Vriska, Meenah, Davepeta, and possibly more.

TAVROS: i DID, TAVROS: tHROUGH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP,

TAVROS: aND A LARGE QUANTITY OF WORDS, sPOKEN DIRECTLY FROM THE HEART, TAVROS: eVEN THOUGH IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF ALL OF THEM HAD STAYED, i THINK, TAVROS: tHERE IS A PART OF ME THAT ALSO THOUGHT LEAVING MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA,,, TAVROS: cONSIDERING, hOW THINGS LOOK PRETTY HOPELESS NOW, TAVROS: bUT THAT PART OF ME IS THE ONE THAT MISSED OUT ON THE COMPLETION, oF MY SUCCESSFUL AND FULFILLING CHARACTER ARC,

He get’s so cocky sometimes, but it’s the kind of cocky where he’s nervous he’s not looking cocky in the right way. What the hell am I typing. I just love how self aware he is.

TAVROS: wHICH IS WHAT THE MAJORITY OF THE REST OF ME IS COMPRISED OF, TAVROS: eSPECIALLY THE PARTS THAT WERE KICKING LORD ENGLISH IN THE FACE, nOT TOO LONG AGO, TAVROS: aND TRUTHFULLY, i AM STILL PRETTY FIRED UP, fROM THAT, TAVROS: sO I IGNORED THE COWARDLY IMPULSE, aND INSTEAD STAYED TO HELP MY FRIENDS, sEE THIS UNDERTAKING THROUGH TO THE END, TAVROS: aND THERE WERE SOME PEOPLE, wHO AGREED WITH ME, TAVROS: wHICH ARE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE HERE, pRESENTLY,

Goddammit, these people aren’t the brightest. They had to have stayed with him out of pity. If all of your friends are running away, and the only person asking you to stay and fight an unkillable demon was T A V R O S .

You’d run.

Sollux doesn’t wanna be here.

ARADIA: see? sollux and i even stayed to help too ARADIA: in fact were all here to help ARADIA: well maybe some of us are here mostly out of curiosity SOLLUX: 0r b0red0m.

Or pity. Or self-hate. Or a deathwish.

ARADIA: or that too! or maybe even a mishmash of all sorts of motivations ARADIA: but whatever the reason we are on your side ARADIA: so i get the feeling if you dont lighten up a little ARADIA: some of us might suddenly have a lot more of a reason to join the others ARADIA: and find something else to do

Nice way of putting it Aradia. Vriska really needs to Clam down and Krill out, because she’s gonna lose the few she has with her still.

OH SHIT THAT’S THE END OF THE UPDATE. Well then, that’d be my cue to sleep. it’s 2:15 AM an I have summerschool in 5 hours. gnight folks. 

[samanthasroberts]

5 Celebrities Who Did Crazy Scummy (And Underreported) Stuff

Maybe you’ve seen a picture of Justin Timberlake eating an apple and thought, “The stars, they’re just like us!” And while it’s true that some celebrities have apples like us — like we normal folk do for every single meal — some of them might be legitimately unhinged. Here are several ludicrous incidents wherein the stars were quite decidedly not like us.

5

50 Cent Bullied An Autistic Airline Employee

You’d think that after owning more bullet wounds than hit albums, 50 Cent (aka Curtis James Jackson III) would be a little more judicious in his dealings with strangers. But back in 2016, as he was apparently looking for ways to stave off boredom in the Cincinnati Airport, he noticed something fishy about one of the young maintenance workers. He seemed almost high, like the kind you might get from drugs — or as they’re called on the street, reefers.

50 leapt into action! No, he didn’t contact a supervisor to let them know their employee was on drugs; he got out his phone and followed the man around so he could mock him on Instagram. Hilarious, right? A drug user? At an AIRPORT!? It quickly went viral, but not in the way he was expecting.

The employee, a young man named Andrew Farrell, did his best to ignore Mr. Cent as he pointed his phone at him and lamented how “crazy” the younger generation is. He wondered aloud to his Instagram followers, “What kind of shit you think he took before he got to work today?” Sadly, this was the sort of abuse that Mr. Farrell had become accustomed to over the years. Because Mr. Farrell is not a drug addict — he’s autistic. Yes, 50 Cent was harassing and publicly humiliating a stranger because of a developmental disorder, not a drug habit.

Before our president made mocking the disabled a partisan issue, everyone agreed this was terrible. Fans were outraged, and liquor stores threatened to stop selling the faded rap star’s “Effen Vodka” brand of booze.

Effen Vodka“Effen” is, of course, a Dutch children’s game about number guessing. Wait, unless 50 Cent meant it like “Fuckin’ Vodka”? Oh 50, that’s naughty!

Read Next

The Hidden Connection Between 'Ghostbusters' And The Remake

As uniquely awful as this seems, it wasn’t the first time Jackson did something like this. Or even the second. A few years before, he’d landed in hot water after telling someone on Twitter “Just saw your picture fool you look autistic.” He ended another social media discussion by saying, “I don’t want no special ed kids on my timeline follow some body else.” It’s all very disappointing when someone unfairly derides another’s cognitive differences. Especially when that someone is the sort of person who claims bankruptcy while simultaneously posting photos of himself wallowing on a Scrooge-McDuck-sized pile of fake money. Maybe next time, try renting a conscience instead of a Rolex and a pile of money, Mr. Cent.

4

Both Akon And Afroman Savagely Attacked Fans On Stage

There’s an unspoken (and also very spoken) rule that you don’t get up on the stage when someone is performing. You can throw your panties and flowers, but hardly ever your beer, and never your throwing stars. When you violate these rules, you will get violently grabbed and thrown out on your ass. That’s exactly what happened to a fan at an Akon concert, only not the way you may think.

It was between songs, and Akon seemed to be doing some light crowd work. He took his shirt off and pulled an eager fan up on stage. It wasn’t a hot girl, as you’d expect a freshly shirtless singer to select. It was a nerdy guy in glasses and cargo shorts, and Akon immediately grabbed him by the dick, flung him up on his shoulders, and heaved him into the crowd. He did this not so much in a fun crowd-surfing arc, but at a low angle, directly into a pocket of girls extremely unprepared to catch a 150-pound projectile. The fan ate what most onlookers would call total shit. You can watch it here:

You’re not allowed to body-slam people to near death, even if they seemed like they were asking for it, so Akon was fined $350 and sentenced to 65 hours of community service. The stars, they are not just like us.

A strangely similar but way, way less cool incident happened at an Afroman show. Afroman was on stage playing guitar when a female fan jumped up and started stumbling around with her drink. For 10 or 15 seconds, she danced behind Afroman while he ignored her. Oh my god, can you believe how crazy she was being, you guys!?

Emboldened by the club’s lack of security, she started inching closer to Afroman. Oh my god, you guys, she was going to rub her butt on him! Can you believe how crazy she was being!? But then she finally did. Her butt, getting closer and closer to Afroman’s, finally made contact. Afroman reacted like a mousetrap. His right hand came off the guitar strings, formed a fist, and blasted into the intruder’s face.

Afroman went back to playing, disturbingly undisturbed after punching a woman out. A few seconds later, some drunk guy, presumably the disoriented girl’s boyfriend, struggled onto stage. Afroman kept playing, but made it absolutely clear he would be more than happy to fuck up the second entrant into his impromptu gladiator arena. The fan’s disapproving expression quickly changed to the universal gesture for “Whoa, whoa, I’m only here to get this drunk idiot home.” And he did indeed have more important things to worry about, as his drunk, concussed companion was now wandering aimlessly backstage.

It was a bad way to handle a difficult situation placed upon him by a shitty person, but if the world’s worst TV producer created a fight league between drunk women and guitar players twice their size, this would absolutely be the knockout highlight of the year.

3

Justin Bieber Abandoned His Dog, And His Backup Dancer Had To Pay For Its Surgery

Justin Bieber has a love/hate relationship with animals. He loves getting them and taking pictures with them, and he hates feeding them, taking care of them, and generally keeping them alive. Last year, C.J. Salvador, one of Bieber’s dancers, gave the famously irresponsible singer a puppy. Naturally, it didn’t work out so well. A routine checkup found that the puppy had severe hip dysplasia and may not be able to walk unless an $8,000 procedure was performed. Bieber didn’t want to pay for this, despite that amount literally not registering as money to him, because you should never underestimate a shitty human’s capacity for awfulness.

Justin Bieber“Sorry dude, but you know how many [current fad bullshit item]s I can buy with that?”

Salvador mounted a scrappy fundraising effort for the puppy’s surgery himself. He managed to secure over 90 donors to help Todd the dog walk again, and Bieber’s animal kill count did not grow. “At least for now,” Bieber added from the shadows. “At least for now.”

2

Vince Neil Body-Slammed a Woman Because She Snubbed Him For Nicolas Cage

As the frontman for Motley Crue, Vince Neil has had many encounters with women. In fact, mathematically speaking, 17 percent of all people reading this have Neil DNA in them, or possibly just on them. But this dude …

Elektra Records

… is well into his 50s now, so you’d think he would have mellowed out some. But no. A couple of years ago in Vegas, a woman was taking a picture with Neil when she saw Nicolas Cage. She screamed, “Nicolas, I love you!” and ran for Cage, abandoning poor Neil for a younger model — a practice he was well used to being on the other side of. Neil did what any insecure, doughy man in eyeliner would do: He grabbed her by the hair and threw her to the ground. We believe it was Archimedes who said, “Give me an innocent lady’s ponytail long enough, and I can assault the world.”

Cage sprung into action. He seized Neil in a wrestler’s clinch and screamed into his ear, “Stop this SHIT! NOW!” Cage isn’t sure what that phrase means, but it’s what his agent says to him every time he attaches himself to a project.

Neil initially deflected the allegations, saying he merely “pushed past her,” but when he realized the offense could land him up to six months in prison, he pleaded guilty. The story has a happy ending, though. Neil was forced to pay a $1,000 fine and agree to six months of not beating up random women for shockingly pathetic reasons. Oh, we meant a happy ending for Vince Neil, not the woman or the concept of justice in general.

1

Aaron Eckhart Crashed A Support Group For Grieving Parents

Aaron Eckhart, known for his portrayals of Harvey Dent and Sexy Frankenstein, needed to get deep into the emotions of a grieving father for a role. Most actors would consider what they know about sadness and then try to act sad, but Eckart knew it would take more. So he went to a support group for grieving parents and pretended his kid died.

Lionsgate“So in this scene, I’m supposed to have half a face? Well off comes half my face, then!”

We understand every artist has their own ways of working, and maybe faking a dead kid is what he needed to do. But when Eckhart did an interview on Howard Stern’s show, it seemed like he genuinely forgot other people’s for-real kids died.

We learn that when it was his turn to share, Eckhart described his character and broke down in tears, and was then consoled by the group of legitimately bereaved people over the loss of his pretend movie baby. Stern, to his credit, offered Eckhart a lifeline by asking if he later felt bad about doing it. Eckhart did not take the lifeline. In fact, he burned the lifeline and scattered its ashes into the wind. He said, “you really believe that you just lost a child. You are as close to reality in that sense as possible. I don’t want to be rude to people who have lost a child, but yeah, you feel right there. You feel like your character.”

OK, Aaron Eckhart made the reprehensible choice to go into a room with people who had real emotional problems and made them comfort him over a fake dead kid. And he doesn’t feel bad about it. But at least we got the legendary and beloved film Rabbit Hole out of it, right? We all saw and loved … Rabbit Hole? Yeah, it was all worth it for Rabbit Hole.

Greg Tuff has a Twitter, and recommends you check out his friends at Bush Gang Gaming on YouTube. Michael Battaglino is a contributor to Cracked.com. Be sure to check out some of his other work if you enjoyed this article.

Nic Cage has been in some crummy flicks, but he was in a pretty good one already in 2018 called Mom and Dad that’s worth checking out.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/5-celebrities-who-did-crazy-scummy-and-underreported-stuff/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/09/01/5-celebrities-who-did-crazy-scummy-and-underreported-stuff/

[adambstingus]

5 Celebrities Who Did Crazy Scummy (And Underreported) Stuff

Maybe you’ve seen a picture of Justin Timberlake eating an apple and thought, “The stars, they’re just like us!” And while it’s true that some celebrities have apples like us — like we normal folk do for every single meal — some of them might be legitimately unhinged. Here are several ludicrous incidents wherein the stars were quite decidedly not like us.

5

50 Cent Bullied An Autistic Airline Employee

You’d think that after owning more bullet wounds than hit albums, 50 Cent (aka Curtis James Jackson III) would be a little more judicious in his dealings with strangers. But back in 2016, as he was apparently looking for ways to stave off boredom in the Cincinnati Airport, he noticed something fishy about one of the young maintenance workers. He seemed almost high, like the kind you might get from drugs — or as they’re called on the street, reefers.

50 leapt into action! No, he didn’t contact a supervisor to let them know their employee was on drugs; he got out his phone and followed the man around so he could mock him on Instagram. Hilarious, right? A drug user? At an AIRPORT!? It quickly went viral, but not in the way he was expecting.

The employee, a young man named Andrew Farrell, did his best to ignore Mr. Cent as he pointed his phone at him and lamented how “crazy” the younger generation is. He wondered aloud to his Instagram followers, “What kind of shit you think he took before he got to work today?” Sadly, this was the sort of abuse that Mr. Farrell had become accustomed to over the years. Because Mr. Farrell is not a drug addict — he’s autistic. Yes, 50 Cent was harassing and publicly humiliating a stranger because of a developmental disorder, not a drug habit.

Before our president made mocking the disabled a partisan issue, everyone agreed this was terrible. Fans were outraged, and liquor stores threatened to stop selling the faded rap star’s “Effen Vodka” brand of booze.

Effen Vodka“Effen” is, of course, a Dutch children’s game about number guessing. Wait, unless 50 Cent meant it like “Fuckin’ Vodka”? Oh 50, that’s naughty!

Read Next

The Hidden Connection Between ‘Ghostbusters’ And The Remake

As uniquely awful as this seems, it wasn’t the first time Jackson did something like this. Or even the second. A few years before, he’d landed in hot water after telling someone on Twitter “Just saw your picture fool you look autistic.” He ended another social media discussion by saying, “I don’t want no special ed kids on my timeline follow some body else.” It’s all very disappointing when someone unfairly derides another’s cognitive differences. Especially when that someone is the sort of person who claims bankruptcy while simultaneously posting photos of himself wallowing on a Scrooge-McDuck-sized pile of fake money. Maybe next time, try renting a conscience instead of a Rolex and a pile of money, Mr. Cent.

4

Both Akon And Afroman Savagely Attacked Fans On Stage

There’s an unspoken (and also very spoken) rule that you don’t get up on the stage when someone is performing. You can throw your panties and flowers, but hardly ever your beer, and never your throwing stars. When you violate these rules, you will get violently grabbed and thrown out on your ass. That’s exactly what happened to a fan at an Akon concert, only not the way you may think.

It was between songs, and Akon seemed to be doing some light crowd work. He took his shirt off and pulled an eager fan up on stage. It wasn’t a hot girl, as you’d expect a freshly shirtless singer to select. It was a nerdy guy in glasses and cargo shorts, and Akon immediately grabbed him by the dick, flung him up on his shoulders, and heaved him into the crowd. He did this not so much in a fun crowd-surfing arc, but at a low angle, directly into a pocket of girls extremely unprepared to catch a 150-pound projectile. The fan ate what most onlookers would call total shit. You can watch it here:

You’re not allowed to body-slam people to near death, even if they seemed like they were asking for it, so Akon was fined $350 and sentenced to 65 hours of community service. The stars, they are not just like us.

A strangely similar but way, way less cool incident happened at an Afroman show. Afroman was on stage playing guitar when a female fan jumped up and started stumbling around with her drink. For 10 or 15 seconds, she danced behind Afroman while he ignored her. Oh my god, can you believe how crazy she was being, you guys!?

Emboldened by the club’s lack of security, she started inching closer to Afroman. Oh my god, you guys, she was going to rub her butt on him! Can you believe how crazy she was being!? But then she finally did. Her butt, getting closer and closer to Afroman’s, finally made contact. Afroman reacted like a mousetrap. His right hand came off the guitar strings, formed a fist, and blasted into the intruder’s face.

Afroman went back to playing, disturbingly undisturbed after punching a woman out. A few seconds later, some drunk guy, presumably the disoriented girl’s boyfriend, struggled onto stage. Afroman kept playing, but made it absolutely clear he would be more than happy to fuck up the second entrant into his impromptu gladiator arena. The fan’s disapproving expression quickly changed to the universal gesture for “Whoa, whoa, I’m only here to get this drunk idiot home.” And he did indeed have more important things to worry about, as his drunk, concussed companion was now wandering aimlessly backstage.

It was a bad way to handle a difficult situation placed upon him by a shitty person, but if the world’s worst TV producer created a fight league between drunk women and guitar players twice their size, this would absolutely be the knockout highlight of the year.

3

Justin Bieber Abandoned His Dog, And His Backup Dancer Had To Pay For Its Surgery

Justin Bieber has a love/hate relationship with animals. He loves getting them and taking pictures with them, and he hates feeding them, taking care of them, and generally keeping them alive. Last year, C.J. Salvador, one of Bieber’s dancers, gave the famously irresponsible singer a puppy. Naturally, it didn’t work out so well. A routine checkup found that the puppy had severe hip dysplasia and may not be able to walk unless an $8,000 procedure was performed. Bieber didn’t want to pay for this, despite that amount literally not registering as money to him, because you should never underestimate a shitty human’s capacity for awfulness.

Justin Bieber“Sorry dude, but you know how many [current fad bullshit item]s I can buy with that?”

Salvador mounted a scrappy fundraising effort for the puppy’s surgery himself. He managed to secure over 90 donors to help Todd the dog walk again, and Bieber’s animal kill count did not grow. “At least for now,” Bieber added from the shadows. “At least for now.”

2

Vince Neil Body-Slammed a Woman Because She Snubbed Him For Nicolas Cage

As the frontman for Motley Crue, Vince Neil has had many encounters with women. In fact, mathematically speaking, 17 percent of all people reading this have Neil DNA in them, or possibly just on them. But this dude …

Elektra Records

… is well into his 50s now, so you’d think he would have mellowed out some. But no. A couple of years ago in Vegas, a woman was taking a picture with Neil when she saw Nicolas Cage. She screamed, “Nicolas, I love you!” and ran for Cage, abandoning poor Neil for a younger model — a practice he was well used to being on the other side of. Neil did what any insecure, doughy man in eyeliner would do: He grabbed her by the hair and threw her to the ground. We believe it was Archimedes who said, “Give me an innocent lady’s ponytail long enough, and I can assault the world.”

Cage sprung into action. He seized Neil in a wrestler’s clinch and screamed into his ear, “Stop this SHIT! NOW!” Cage isn’t sure what that phrase means, but it’s what his agent says to him every time he attaches himself to a project.

Neil initially deflected the allegations, saying he merely “pushed past her,” but when he realized the offense could land him up to six months in prison, he pleaded guilty. The story has a happy ending, though. Neil was forced to pay a $1,000 fine and agree to six months of not beating up random women for shockingly pathetic reasons. Oh, we meant a happy ending for Vince Neil, not the woman or the concept of justice in general.

1

Aaron Eckhart Crashed A Support Group For Grieving Parents

Aaron Eckhart, known for his portrayals of Harvey Dent and Sexy Frankenstein, needed to get deep into the emotions of a grieving father for a role. Most actors would consider what they know about sadness and then try to act sad, but Eckart knew it would take more. So he went to a support group for grieving parents and pretended his kid died.

Lionsgate“So in this scene, I’m supposed to have half a face? Well off comes half my face, then!”

We understand every artist has their own ways of working, and maybe faking a dead kid is what he needed to do. But when Eckhart did an interview on Howard Stern’s show, it seemed like he genuinely forgot other people’s for-real kids died.

We learn that when it was his turn to share, Eckhart described his character and broke down in tears, and was then consoled by the group of legitimately bereaved people over the loss of his pretend movie baby. Stern, to his credit, offered Eckhart a lifeline by asking if he later felt bad about doing it. Eckhart did not take the lifeline. In fact, he burned the lifeline and scattered its ashes into the wind. He said, “you really believe that you just lost a child. You are as close to reality in that sense as possible. I don’t want to be rude to people who have lost a child, but yeah, you feel right there. You feel like your character.”

OK, Aaron Eckhart made the reprehensible choice to go into a room with people who had real emotional problems and made them comfort him over a fake dead kid. And he doesn’t feel bad about it. But at least we got the legendary and beloved film Rabbit Hole out of it, right? We all saw and loved … Rabbit Hole? Yeah, it was all worth it for Rabbit Hole.

Greg Tuff has a Twitter, and recommends you check out his friends at Bush Gang Gaming on YouTube. Michael Battaglino is a contributor to Cracked.com. Be sure to check out some of his other work if you enjoyed this article.

Nic Cage has been in some crummy flicks, but he was in a pretty good one already in 2018 called Mom and Dad that’s worth checking out.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-celebrities-who-did-crazy-scummy-and-underreported-stuff/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/177604784842

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 8: Thoughts on 1x10 I Am Become Death

Friday tomorrow. Watching I Am Become Death tonight instead of sleeping.

I don’t think I ever noticed the random severed arm in the Exodus ship wreckage before. Or the random ribs.

I hate to say it but I semi-side with Finn re: the Grounders but he’s otherwise annoying. “Clarke shouldn’t be out here” blah blah whatever--you clearly don’t know her at all because obviously she’d be out there first. Raven gets her better and Raven/Clarke should have been a thing.

“Why they’re coming doesn’t matter anymore”--lol truer words were never spoken. Seriously. And it’s quite sad.

“We move in formation”--what an actual army.

This is one of Jasper’s more annoying scenes, telling the bridge story, but at least he’s acting 15, which I appreciate; also Octavia is semi-more annoying (that’s your friend lol, get over your grumpiness); and also it’s all worth it for the lines “Let us have this” and “my boy’s a folk hero.” (I’m hearing my and you can’t stop me, Netflix subtitles that say the.)

Why would these bozos shoot into the woods when they know they have people out there? I’m surprised they didn’t all friendly-fire themselves to death in season 1.

Remember when this show was creative enough to do stuff like bio warfare? Good times. What happened to that?

I don’t feel remotely bad for anyone who got sick in this episode either (other than Murphy) because banishing him was Grade A stupid and they deserved what they got.

Speaking of not-shining moments, Bellamy’s (completely unbelievable) desire to shoot Murphy dead in the middle of the dropship is ridiculous. I say unbelievable because he absolutely would not have done it and ridiculous because yet again, hate to say it, but Finn and Clarke are right and Bellamy’s position is silliness. Also really dogmatic in an Ark-like way: we said we’d kill in this circumstance so I guess we gotta do it! Not a rebel king moment for sure.

“After we interrogate him we send him back out in the woods, repeating the exact same mistake we already made and that has led to our secrets being shared with our enemy.” LOL nevermind Clarke’s dumb as rocks too. Who wrote this and why do they hate all the characters?

I am not going to talk about the Harper scene because it’s past midnight and I’m trying to be less of a masochist but suffice it to say most people who talk about this scene could stand to, I don’t know, crazy, out there idea here, actually watch it before spouting off their big mouths. Not that I’m BITTER at all or anything.

Also: Monty’s a slut in the making and kind of sexist, he is bad at minding his own business, I want Jasper’s shoes. I may have Jasper’s shoes, just as low tops.

I lied I am talking about it. The way Monty’s expression changes when Jasper tells him to float himself and his sad “I’m just telling you the truth” IS Monty in a nutshell. You ever wondered what the definitive Monty line is? It’s that one. He has no tact and the emotional intelligence of a brick. It’s the truth so what’s wrong with telling it?? Right???

Also here we have an early example of Jasper (a child with emotional intelligence beyond his years) knowing just how to push buttons and show cruelty. Fuck this was quite possibly the best written character on the show and then they drove him into a ditch and I’m so angry. He simultaneously did a 180 in character, and also stayed IC. That’s like the writing dream.

I want a deleted scene where Bellamy gifts Jasper the tent (also btw to people who were simultaneously Bellamy stans and Jasper haters and who like to point to the bridge scene as a knock against my favorite awkward bisexual: Bellamy thought he did the right thing and actually rewarded him for it so...go float yourself as they say). Because I think Jasper, with his Obvious Bellamy Crush, probably almost fainted.

One minute of Clarke/Raven interaction and I get all on the edge of my seat. They get so little.

Few images more iconic than Clarke crying blood.

This Murphy + Clarke + Bellamy scene is Clarke at her finest, and a good example of Bellamy being all-emotion, no-logic tbqh. He’s sure looking fine though.

The Mountain Man in Lincoln’s notebook...

Clarke is so sneaky and gives no fucks. Telling Bellamy she’ll keep O on the third floor and then immediately sending her back out. I mean, again, smart, but one of those moments when I just sincerely wonder how anyone, even Bellamy, can ever REALLY trust her.

Lincoln wants to go “East, to the sea, then across it.” He’s not...really discussing crossing the Atlantic is he? He’s gotta be talking about a different sea. Does he mean like the Chesapeake Bay?? That’s gotta be it. Also Luna’s rig is most decidedly not in Europe or Africa lol.

Dude I think I might have just seen Manny Jacinto. Wild.

Clarke with her blood-eyes and humongous weaponry firing shots into the air is surprisingly hot; this distresses me.

It’s weird how I technically ship Bellarke and quite hard at that but these flirting scenes, or B knocking out the guy threatening Clarke, aren’t doing anything for me. Perhaps because I’m finding Bellamy rather obnoxious--IC but obnoxious--in this particular ep.

I think when Octavia starts helping the sick delinquents is when she decides not to leave with Lincoln but bounces back to feeling an affiliation with the 100.

This is such a deja vu moment for me but I always laugh at Finn’s “you don’t know me very well.” UH YOU THINK?

I’m sorry but Finn doesn’t get enough credit for the blowing up the bridge idea. I know it ended up being a lot more violent than he wanted it to be (tbh this would have been better if he’d been more staunchly pacifist from the get go and then upset when lives were lost to his plan but whatever)--but it was still a good plan.

I guess I can see how people can interpret Monty’s reaction to Jasper’s “flirting” with Harper as jealousy but IMO this is a stretch because if he WERE interested in her why was his main message to his best friend in the earlier scene “You should fuck that pussy”? The more obvious interpretation is that Jasper, who does not have an interest in Harper, is “flirting” with her to mess with Monty and that Monty realizes that or that Jasper isn’t flirting, just actually being nice (I KNOW! A boy! NICE?!?!?) and Monty is interpreting it as a jab at him because he’s in a sour mood and they’re fighting. Regardless, Harper--a character we have literally never seen before this episode--is literally just a pawn for their relationship growth let’s not forget that.

“That’s cute.”

Finn won’t pick up a gun--probably the best evidence that he’s actively a pacifist. Shame an actively pacifistic character hasn’t really existed on this show after S1.

“The men who built the A-bomb thought they were peacemakers too. How’d that work out for them?” Oh how I miss the idea that this show would consider humanity’s rush to its own self-destruction! Or just frankly the framing of the universe as the after-effect of the real choices we really made and are making in the real world, drawn out to their ultimate conclusions. The ALIE story line is, in this sense, even worse than the atrocity of S4 because the retcon just all but elided humanity’s responsibility for its destruction and that just...boils my blood tbqh.

This scene, where Bellamy tells Jasper to take the shot at the bridge, is a great example of Devon Bostick’s Face. Kid has great bones. (He’s actually real life younger than me so I’m allowed to call him a Kid indefinitely that’s the rule.)

Bellamy falling into the tent = me in law school. Also p. sure Jasper’s immune but Bellamy’s concern is nevertheless touching.

Bellamy and O are no Elliot and Darlene but they have their moments.

The Dramatic Zoom In on Finn’s face when Monty tells him that Raven took the bomb is Grade A Hilarious.

Jasper breaks first in the Jonty fight, as I’m sure he always does. No one holds a grudge like Monty. Or is vicious like Monty. “Why don’t you ask your new friends?” is a touch catty and probably the gayest thing he’s ever done (sorry but the boy is canonically straight and always has been...queer him as you wish, I certainly do, but let’s not pretend it’s an interpretation grounded in the text lol.) (What a tangent.)

This is a good Bellarke scene, though. I especially like Clarke’s “Trust? No. I do believe in second chances though”--a good line to remember when trying to keep her IC. (Though I maintain that the idea of second chances and being less judgmental is something she learned in S1, not a pre-pilot trait; see: Wells); and Bellamy’s “Maybe if we close all the doors the Grounders will think we’re not home” like I love that sense of humor.

They’re so rude about Finn and Jasper. Jasper’s a good shot asshats--he saw those Grounders in the last ep. before Bellamy did so suck on that.

Raven with the hydrazine on the bridge is also me in law school.

Jasper and Monty could have been an iconic couple if only this fandom (and this show) were not so dumb.

While I love this Oppenheimer exchange (Bellamy’s voice lol), it bugs me a little that, first, Clarke didn’t build that bomb, shoot it, come up with the idea, or involve herself in the plan at all so cool your jets sick lady you’re not destroying any worlds, and second, it’s not Oppenheimer, it’s Oppenheimer quoting the Bhagavad Gita and I don’t know why that’s so important to me to remember but it really really is. Bugs me every time.

The Mountain Men reference. I guess they saw the mushroom cloud and learn of the delinquents through it...but they already shot down the Exodus Ship. How’d they know about that but not the Dropship? And why didn’t they notice the flares? Why is Lincoln so sure that the cloud will do it?

Lincoln’s got some books in there.

Raven’s comparison of Finn rushing to help Clarke versus hesitating about the bomb isn’t really fair tbqh. I mean it doesn’t matter because their relationship is obviously a farce and she needs to cut him loose, and if that’s what it took, that’s fine. But catching someone who’s falling is an instinct and I don’t think it necessarily has much to do with love or devotion. Whereas Bellamy’s question was about the future and there was no immediate someone-will-crack-their-head-open-on-the-ground-in-a-second danger about it. It wasn’t really an instinctual moment in the same way. Still, drop that dead weight my closet lesbian.

“It’s hard running things” is obviously a call back “It’s not easy being in charge.”

WHY AM I STILL AWAKE IT’S SO LATE.

[survivor-themyscira-blog]

https://cdn.dtbrownseeds.co.uk/product-images/op/z/19780z.jpg

FUCK U

JORDAN

I WASNT YOUR LEAK

LOOK WHERE IT GOT YOU

GOD DAMMIT!!

Like literally Logan, was like "you were the honestly honest one".

And Toph's all like "we can't trust emily."

And Jaidens like "im so happy you brought me back AND took out pines." And like mad n ian are like "alliance needs to be strong."

And yeah I haven't spoken to anyone else.

But im sure they're like "damn kai was hot in that tribal."

Or something similar.

So Jordan Pines, you are so very welcome to join my hall of trophy votes. The idol I played wasn't mine but Kai's. Kai transferred it to me because Emily told us you were gunning for me with swapped antiope. QQ You join names such as Seamus, Brandan, Tyler, and Catfish Alexa on my stuffed and mounted

I’m so scared Logan is suddenly being so nice to me he messaged me like hey love and then started telling me to drink fluids and stay healthy and I’m scared he’s plotting against me. And Toph is the complete opposite. He’s being flat out rude to me sending me snapchats of him flipping me off and telling everyone that I can’t be trusted and it’s SO RUDE like wtf I know they can’t but like don’t tell them that!

ok so this puzzle is literally destroying my sanity

i shit you not i turned on GHOST MODE for this motherfucker what was i thinking??? "GEE I REALLY WONDER WHAT THE FUCK THIS PUZZLE MIGHT LOOK LIKE, AND GHOST MODE WILL SURELY HELP ME PUT IT TOGETHER"

god no wonder its called the hell puzzle, i never wanna see this spiky shit again

I feel like the past 24 hours or so have been a lot of “firsts” for me. This is the first time in a Tumblr game I’ve ever been voted out, and later returned due to a twist!! This is the first time I’ve beaten Jordan Pines in an individual challenge :~) (my favorite accomplishment). This is not, however, the first time I’ve felt like a complete outcast! Fuck!!

Basically, I join the merge tribe after vanquishing the Goliath to my David. I expected triumphant cheers of happiness that mister Pines was finally eliminated, but there was nothing more than a sigh at my entrance. Nobody even initially congratulated me.

So here we are, hours after I got back into the game. I guess it’s been almost a full day since then, actually, but I put my absolute all into this competition. I knew from the get-go there’d be no chance in flaming hell I’d win immunity today unless everyone else just decided not to bother. No matter how quick I get done with that puzzle, I had a feeling that I’m still going to get second or third at best. But I’m actually okay with it!

Another first that I accomplished was that I didn’t give up when faced with an incredibly difficult task. Look, beating Jordan Pines wasn’t as hard as it seemed. I’ve gotten him voted out of games before, how much harder could it be to just get him out of a simple ten-point challenge? In comparison to today’s immunity, it was like jumping from little league to major league in a minute. Thankfully this puzzle wasn’t last night’s challenge, lmfao. So I accomplished just getting the puzzle done. Win or lose, this is a proud moment. I literally spent over 8 hours just trying to get the pieces together, and 7 of those hours were spent just today alone. The outcome won’t take this feeling away from me. I’m proud! This gives me a really good argument for myself at a potential final tribal council – I came back, stuck to my guns, and proved that I never gave up at any moment in this game. EVEN KNOWING I could lose such a challenge, I dedicated eight whole hours of my life to getting this shit done. Whew.

I mean I guess there’s a little hope inside me that anyone who completes the puzzle gets some sort of reward out of it… I doubt that’s the case, but it was enough to really kick me into high gear during the first 20% of the puzzle or so to just keep at it. I needed that push.

Anyways, now that I’m back in the game, I need to find some allies. I started working on Rhone and they gave me some useful information about what went down in the game. None of it made ANY sense because I’ve missed so much, but Kai was another person that really tried to instill in me an idea that I could work with him, too.

Before coming back, I was super anti-Jordan Pines. I knew that he was gonna be a tough cookie to crack if I were to magically return and have him still here. So I played that up a lot to Kai in particular, at least to give myself an option if I need one. This might give him a sense that we’re on the same page, wanting to take out the remainders of Jordan’s allies. I’m just kinda waiting for him to swoop down and take me in under his wing. Really, I’m waiting for anybody to do that at this point…

Then again, I’ve got Rhone as a potential “in”. I’ve never played with Rhone before, but I know they’re really smart just by talking to them. I don’t want to even flirt with the idea of lying to Rhone or being a little bit dishonest. I need to be as straight-forward with them as I can because they’re NOT the kind of person I want to lie to for any reason. They’d see right through me and call me out on it, which I don’t need right now.

An idea I’ve had would be to just fill in the spot Jordan Pines made with his alliance. Hopefully they’ll accept me as a new number, because clearly I’m very against Ian. There’s like, no chance I’ll work with either Ian or Madeline or Toph at this point (and I’m not even going to talk to the latter two because… choke), so if I can find a way to send those three out back to back to back? Sign me right up!

Logan’s changed his profile picture to a leek because of some mysterious “leak” drama going around. Like, oh please keep sinking your ship. I promised Dan I wouldn’t target Logan for a bit because Dan wants to see him go far, but like Logan is kinda unnecessary to my game at the moment. I don’t trust him because he doesn’t trust me, and although I don’t have a lot of options, shattering Jordan’s old alliance *might* be beneficial for me in the long-run.

I don’t understand subtlety, so I don’t care if I win immunity and if I do, it’d be a freaking dream. I am going to make my presence in this game known one way or another, so these people had better prepare for that. I should, too. Thankfully, I’ve got this redemption idol so if things look grim for me tomorrow night, I know I’m getting at least tenth place. I don’t want to position myself as the easy vote since I’m a returner, so… let’s try hard to stick around this time and not get messy. Since I’m here, I may as well try to get to the end this time and not be chaotic as fuck. It doesn’t take big moves to win the game, but it does take strong relationships to get people convinced you deserve to win over everyone else. Like I’ve said, I have to right my wrongs from before I was voted out. Then again, I don’t let go of grudges so who knows what the future has in store for me. All I know is I’m glad I'm over that hell of a puzzle.

I worked on that puzzle for over ten hours. The most I got was 35%. At least I tried.

Step one of my master plan. Cry in everybody's PMs and tell them why I DO NOT want to go home.

Step two of my master plan. Become Jordan Pines. Everybody loves Jordan Pines, so why would they vote him out? It just makes no sense. Only Ian and Kai and whoever else voted for him yesterday, and there's no fucking way I'm not getting AT THE LEAST Ian's vote. I kinda need the majority here, so it seems like my best bet is to just make them think I'm not Jaiden.

Step three of my master plan. Scramble. Hard.

And finally, step four. Play the idol on myself. Hopefully I have enough votes coming my way (aka all but mine) and I can look like a good fucking player for once and take out someone I don't like (aka Toph).

HOPEFULLY everyone votes for either myself or Ian. If Ian goes home, then yay he's dead. If they all vote me, then boo you guys just fucked up and now I cancel all the votes : D

I don't know who is willing to work with my cracked ass at this point, but I'm not going down without a fight. I'm gonna pull out all the stops to make shit happen, I'm just really really scared that I won't do it correctly.

me @ everyone in pms: "hi this is your master speaking, please vote for ian"

we all know the real jordan pines uses mind control

I'm going into the second hour on a private call with Ian while we're talking in two different alliances we're in together and discussing our PMs with people. NO ONE can sneak anything past our duo.

I love Logan my only goal in this game now is to get him to not hate me

https://youtu.be/5hV-WJy_kUI

I’m waiting for someone to Jeff Varner themself to make this vote easy

Honestly it's so funny when I have to pretend I don't talk to Ian much and even say he's sorta awkward to talk to. IF ONLY PEOPLE KNEW JUST YESTERDAY WE TALKED FOR 5 HOURS.

my dad is dead

i dont know who to trust

im immune tho

and i got a super idol

neat.

I've heard my name all day long and that gets mentally draining and I tried to set in place a plan to keep myself in, if it works,great, if not oh well it's been a fun ride so far.  The reason it wouldn't work is one it's very contingent on Nicholas throwing his vote and Two- Dammit Toph spilling the real name to someone we don't need knowing, the point of getting people to throw votes is them not knowing who we might be coming for. Anyways, we will see and if I go out no one can say I didn't try

I did the thing that I wanted to do the least in this game tonight well maybe not the least I don’t know I’m using voice text for this just so everybody knows in case this is a total mess I blame Siri anyways tonight was horrible I had to cast a vote for road and I love road to death and just hoping that Rome doesn’t hate me for a bit is it just God I just really I don’t even know what to do anymore in this game I’m just I’m really relying on dudes James and to do each oh my god this is such a mess and I just I recorded a video confessional earlier but I just know I won’t have time to upload it and I’m just leaving rehearsal now and I just I don’t feel like typing but everything is it’s a mess I want to cry and a half like God Charlotte JD LA I’m so upset this This is the fucking worst and I I don’t even know if the boat is going to go my way tonight I feel like I’m really betraying Nicholas because he’s going to cast a vote for Jaden thinking that everybody else is going to vote for Jayda but nobody except I haven’t so I don’t even know if I’ll trust me after this of Oracle try to get me out or something I don’t know what I’m really trusting telephone and really trusting Madeline and Ian and Kai and I’m just  so so so upset I’m going to listen to Pasha to drown out my sorrows hopefully I’m home in time for life tribal but do I even want to be on live tribal tonight I really don’t think I do god this is such a mess why do I play these games all it does is make me sad and stressed I don’t know fuck

Sorry Rhone, I was the one who convinced Dudes, Dames, and a Deutch to write your name out then convince Toph to his a double vote. It was nothing personal other than you were JP's right hand and you voted me. We just had to go with a name that wasn't being thrown around in fear of an idol...Which one was played it was just Jaiden(I told you guys we couldn't go after Jaiden this round) and he played it on me. That's two idol's used on your boi right here, I am in your house stealing all your idol'd votes. The best part, neither of them have been idols I have found! Who needs to search the island when you can get people to play their advantages with you as a beneficiary. As per usual shout out to my girl Madeline, love ya girl we couldn't have pulled off the moves we made so far without being 100% honest with each other. Special shout out to Jaiden as well, thank you so much man you made my day and I think I can start to rebuild a relationship with you, eventually all alliances must end and I feel if you stay in the game for when that time comes we can pull something off.

The only idol that won't be getting played on Ian this game is going to the idol of my heart. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF THIS BOY PLAYS ME HE'S OVER.