#g/t mean girls

[ilovetheminecraft]

Literally what is the point in liking something if the thought of the thing doesn't make you want to slam your head into the wall as hard as you can

[belethlegwen]

18. GT Prom for the prompts!

In brutal honesty, I had had another idea entirely for this when you sent it but never got around to writing it, and then with some bad news yesterday I was in desperate need of some comfort, so please enjoy:

Henry teaching Melanie to dance.

Words: 3605 [Bare with me, I may need to fuck with the formatting so if this gets edited 1000 times I am very sorry]

It had been a night of drinking and chess; two activities that Melanie, at the very least, had believed to be a bad mix. After an even more disastrous game than she was typically used to, she was absolutely certain she had been right, but was tipsy enough to not be tremendously bothered either way.

Henry was draining his third cup of wine, his cheeks rosy as he plopped his seven-inch self haphazardly onto the edge of the kitchen island, his legs and boots dangling as he watched her sloppily spin herself around the kitchen in the efforts of putting everything away that they had had out for dinner. “Your footwork gets forgotten when you’ve been drinking,” he called to her in hopes she would hear it over her sporadic humming.

The small man let out a quiet noise of surprise, followed by drunken laughter as she stopped what she was doing near the cupboard she kept her glasses in and quickly hopped her feet back and forth, her hands up in front of her as though she were boxing. “Didn’t realize I was fighting anyone in here,” she said, her volume louder than the usual restrained-whispering she typically did around him. “I’ll try to keep in my stance in case someone takes a headshot.”

“Yes yes,” the man groaned between chuckles, waving dismissively at her. “Very impressive. I meant dancing.”

“Oh,” the woman replied, moving back to her rather disjointed organizing of the kitchen with a loud lip-flapping and abrupt chuckle. “I’m much better at fighting, sorry t’tell you. Never learned to dance other than a few of the goofy ones, and the basic try-not-to-stomp-on-eachother slow dancing.”

Henry watched her, presumably, go into some kind of mockery of a stifled ballroom dance. “Is that one of these… ‘goofy’ ones?” he asked as he tipped another gulp of wine into him to try and hide his smirk.

“Don’t make me show you the chicken dance,” she threatened after a snorting laugh caught them both by surprise, just leading to a chorus of giggles.

“For someone who seems like she enjoys dancing, you don’t seem to do it much.” His legs kicked as he leaned back to observe her more, his brow furrowed in thought. “I think this is the first time you’ve danced around me-- on purpose, at least-- since I arrived.”

The giant woman went an even deeper shade of red beneath her wine-blush. “I f’goddibout the gym,” she slurred quickly in an embarrassed mutter.

“You always do,” he replied, smirking as she waved a hand at him in such a show of annoyance it blew the loose strands of hair away from his face, which just made his smile larger.

“I mean,” Melanie drawled, finally putting the last of the clean dishes away with a bit too loud of a clatter, both of them flinching at the noise. “It’s probably because I’m too scared to do it around you. I’m big, I’m loud, I’m not ‘xactly graceful, you probably don’t-- what are you doing?”

Her hazel eyes took a second to focus as she turned back to him, noticing him holding his free hand up with a few fingers raised.

“Keeping track of the items I’d like to argue with you on,” he said bluntly, crossing his swinging legs at the ankles. The massive woman sighed and frowned as a response. “You could dance more,” he said with a tone of insistence, swirling the wine around his cup a bit. “I can get up here, or the table, or the couch, or wherever you like, and you could dance. I honestly wouldn’t mind.”

Melanie scoffed quietly, seeming to ponder the half-empty Cabernet bottle with the cork partially stuck in it before shaking her head. “I haven’t danced in any… real way since whenever I last went to a wedding. I think since high school I’ve only danced at weddings and prom.”

“High-School sounds prestigious in a way that I feel you’re about to laugh at the idea of,” Henry said, also eyeing up the bottle that stood next to the stovetop. The vague snort from nearly above him proved his point before he could continue. “I’d love to know what you feel counts as real dancing, and what a prom is. Weddings, conveniently, I know. Or at least, I feel like I know.”

Sidling along the counter across from him, she came to rest against the edge near the sinks and tipped her head from side to side in that thinking-way she was known for, the longer part of her hair waving just a little on the side of her head where it draped. “I imagine weddings probably aren’t that different overall, you’re right,” she mused. “But yeah that’s where I do most of my dancing now, and it’s still rare I have a partner for it. I went to a friend’s wedding a few years back and took another friend of mine as a plus-one, they were lovely.”

He pushed himself up and climbed off of the edge of the kitchen island, pointedly ignoring the giant arm and hand flying out to give him something to land on if he fell. “You dance without a partner? As in, a group dance?” he asked while moving to the stack of cooking books and sitting there instead, to avoid having to look up so far at her.

“Uhm,” she stalled audibly, grimacing. “Probably not the same way you think, but… that does describe it. I’ll show you videos sometime. There was slightly more partner dancing at prom, because my boyfriend at the time wasn’t one of those ‘I refuse to dance’ jackasses. Still lots of group dancing though.”

She took a deep breath through her nose and glanced to the wine again. “Prom is a big event when you graduated highschool. You’re moving from grade-school to trade school or university or just going out to work jobs. The one I went to was held at a big fancy hotel or event-space downtown in the capital city, I can’t remember, and there was a dinner and dancing. Lots of speeches-- way too many speeches-- but it was fun from what I remember.”

“So dancing isn’t necessarily the point of it, then,” Henry replied.

“Oh, no,” she said with a shake of her head. “Dressing fancy and spending the night with the rest of the graduating class and their partners was probably the real point. Dancing was just part of it for fun.”

The small man seemed to brighten significantly at this, throwing her for a loop as he grinned widely. “Ahhh, so it’s a fancy-dress occasion. I was beginning to wonder if you had any of those at all here.”

“Well, weddings,” Melanie stressed, trying to tamper down his excitement a bit. “Like… there are more. People find all kinds of events t’go to that they dress up for. I just don’t… go to any.”

It hung in the air a moment as they both looked around the room, lost in their own alcohol-enhanced thoughts. Eventually, his voice cut back in. “Well, seeing as you don’t know how to dance with a partner,” he said with a shrug, pushing himself back up to standing, “I can understand why you probably wouldn’t.”

“I know how,” she said defensively, leaning forward to try and match heights with him with a playful scowl. Instantly he flashed that cock-sure grin that told her she had fallen, once again, straight into a trap.

“Go on then,” he demanded with a wave of his hand, and she laughed at what she assumed was a poor attempt at mocking her ‘boating accent’. “Show me.”

To his utter delight she took a deep bow with a ridiculous, twisting flourish of one arm before clearing her throat. “Count the time for me,” she said in her own awful attempt at mocking his accent, launching into a twirling step with her arms held aloft like she was holding someone before he even had the chance to start.

The almost pained cries of distress that left him between his laughs as he watched her navigate the narrow paths of the kitchen only seemed to encourage her, the woman staggering her steps just a little as she grabbed and uncorked the wine bottle and took another deep swig. She wiped a trickle of the red liquid from her chin with a sleeve, continuing the dance as she ignored him.

“Awful, terrible! Shameful!” Henry shouted in jeers as he walked around the countertop to try and keep her feet in view. She finally came to a stop back at her original position, giggling ridiculously with red cheeks and messy hair. “No, no, that can not be how people dance here.”

“It’s how I dance,” she said, looking offended. “If you want to see how people dance, you can go drag it up on the TV.”

He tipped the last of his wine into himself before slapping the empty thing down on top of the cookbooks. “No, no,” he kept saying, shaking his head as he walked toward the ledge, his hands out in front of him gesturing her closer with spinning motions of wrists. “Come here, I’m remedying this.”

She took the half-step closer, practically looming over him as she furrowed her brow in amused confusion. He simply kept making the same gestures, more impatiently.

“Give me your hands,” he said, shooting her a harsh look when she laughed. “Come on, up here.”

“You’re serious?” She asked, stepping back again as her hands came up slowly in front of her. The small man nodded, his impatience growing as he stretched his arms out more to try and grab at her.

“A basic waltz deserves more respect than you’re giving it,” he said clearly, hands gripping around her fingertips as he worked to pull her into a position he could move with. “A box-waltz is easy, you should’ve learned it when-- what? What’s wrong?”

His blue-green eyes turned up to her hazel ones as he came to an abrupt halt, her expression difficult to tell from this angle beyond the bright blush and the staring. “Nothing,” she replied too quickly for either of them to believe. “Box step?”

“...The box-step waltz, yes,” he relented to the prompting, clearing his throat and turning his eyes back down to the sight ahead of him; one he was very suddenly aware of as being… patently ridiculous. He shook his head, the wine sloshing between his ears enough to drown those worries. Above him, out of his view, a giant woman was too inebriated to think of anything to say, simply trapped in a shockingly firm grip of a small man who was aggressively determined to teach her to dance.

Hands and fingers followed his movements on an awkward delay as she tried to listen to his instructions and also let him guide her along. “I step forward-- always start on left-- and then the right goes out, and then--”

She blinked as his face turned up toward her again, both of them coming to another awkward stop.

“You’re supposed to be following my steps.”

“...How?” She asked, turning to glance around her in the small kitchen space, and then back to the limited space he had on the kitchen island. It was his turn to go red in the face as the question hung there.

“Just… rock in the right direction,” he said, resetting to the initial position. “Now, again-- from the top. Left foot forward, right foot-- what are you doing?”

“Left foot forw--” she tried to repeat impatiently, the man irritably shaking her fingers with his hands before cutting her off.

“No, you do the opposite, you’re following my lead,” he said, trying to reset again. “Left foot--”

“Then why are you telling me what you’re doing when I’m the one who needs to learn?” Her voice shot back incredulously, holding her hands still and resisting his pulling.

“Because I’ve been drinking. Now, back to the top,” the tiny man demanded, yanking at her as she let out a surprised laugh. “Left fo--”

“Right foot back, left foo--”

“Don’t do that, I’ll get confused,” he admonished her, this time not bothering to fully reset and just moving back into the dance as they both started to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. “Were you this drunk at the prom?”

“No, god no,” she said with a smile as she took small steps around her own arms as she tried to keep them in range of him, following his steps in reverse with some brief staggering on the footing changes. “I wasn’t legally allowed to drink then, I was only 18. I think I had a breezer or two when we got back to Luke’s house after, but I don’t remember. I just remember falling asleep to Akira and waking up for 3am steaks.”

“I’ll need… significantly more context for what you just said, but you would’ve danced much better than this, I would hope,” Henry said as he stumbled slightly trying to turn before realizing he couldn’t.

“I mean, we used more of the dance floor,” the giant woman replied with a smirk as she flicked a middle finger in to tap against his side. “He even dipped me at one point, that hasn’t happened much in my life.”

His hand left her index finger to swat at the middle one scoldingly, and she took the opportunity to put the one he had been holding against his shoulder. “Well I’m afraid it won’t be happening tonight,” he said while moving back into the dance smoothly. “Much as I would love to show you how someone who actually knows how to dance would do it.”

“I’d like that.”

He went red in the face again at the strange breathiness of her voice, and noticed the whole giant form of her stammer in its stepping as she seemed to catch herself having said it out loud. “I wish there was a smaller table or something akin to one-- at this height, at least-- we could maneuver around,” he jumped into the awkward silence. “Then we could get you turning, for as long as that lasted until you fell down.”

“I am not that drunk,” she chuckled, nudging his shoulder lightly. “You’re much deeper than I am--”

“I can hold my liquor significantly better than you.”

“--you can’t hold wine nearly that well, though, I bet your balance is garbage right now.”

“Oh?” He said, trying to stop his box-step but getting gently pushed back into the motions by her hands. “We could easily put that to the test, but you seem to be enjoying the dance now.”

She slipped the finger he was still holding the tip of out of his grip, putting her hand palm-up on the counter next to him as she pressed lightly against his shoulder. A smirk pulled at the woman’s lips as he looked up at her. “We could try both, if you weren’t too drunk for it.”

“I won’t have enough room to step,” he quipped back, his feet holding firmly on the counter against her insistent nudging. He laughed under that knowing smile she gave him; he had fallen directly into one of her traps.

“Just rock in the right direction,” she said, cocking her head slightly toward the open palm, and the man hesitated before smiling and conceding, walking onto her palm as she moved her other hand to have the index and thumb both act as her arms for him.

Had it been any other circumstance, especially under more sobriety, he would’ve been insulted by the positioning as he faced her and worked his hold around her hand. It felt too much like she was trying to give him safety-rails, too much like she didn’t trust him not to fall.

As she lifted him from the countertop to a position close to her eye-level, however, he appreciated the added stability for both of their sakes. He doubted it would’ve been bad enough to cause a fall, but the adjustment of her pinning her elbows against her sides to hold him steady was a bit more exaggerated than usual in their inebriation.

“I like this more,” she said as he looked at the gigantic face in front of him, her eyes sparkling and slightly watery, and her cheeks still flushed blotchily from the drink. 

“I’m reserving my judgment until we start,” he said, matching the playful smile on her lips. “I can’t see your feet from here, so--”

A noise of surprise, like a yelp, escaped him as she started to walk to a more open space toward the dining room. “Good,” she said, her eyes not leaving him as she took up a starting position and raised her eyebrows. It was all the signal she gave him before stepping into dance.

Being where he could see her face was a blessing and a curse. Whereas before he had been mostly watching her hands and the bulk of her torso as he moved, now he had to watch her eyes flickering over him, darting around her own fingers to watch him as he tried not to stumble with small, rocking-motion steps in the soft dip of her palm. He was suddenly self-conscious. Suddenly, standing there as he did the tiny steps he had made her do, it felt ridiculous.

But her smile was one Henry had come to appreciate. It was warm, it was happy. It wasn’t judging or amused or scrutinizing in any way. This was the smile she shared with him when she was genuinely enjoying herself; when there was simply fun being had.

The back-and-forth and side-to-side rocking of her comparatively massive steps was unlike anything he had experienced before, and he was sure if he had had more wine it would be making him sick as he flexed and gripped his fingers over the faint corduroy texture of the tip of her thumb to ground himself, trying to keep time with the imagined music in her head.

Melanie was leading, now. She had been leading since she first moved her finger to his shoulder.

He couldn’t bring himself to complain as she continued to box-step in the space between the kitchen and the dining room table, instead just chuckling quietly as she started to hum something that had all the marks of being improvised. The feeling of the gravity around him shifting, moving, as she started to rotate-- technically in the wrong direction, but he was in no mood to say anything-- was enough to keep his heart in his throat as he held onto her, stepping back and forth and side to side in her hand in tiny steps.

“Is this what it was like at your prom?” He asked eventually, when her eyes had been focused on his feet instead of his face too long for him to be totally comfortable with.

Those giant eyes jumped back up to him with a bright laugh that washed over him quickly with the scent of cabernet and sharp cheese, causing him to laugh as well as she stumbled just a bit. “No, I’m not in a big ol’ dramatic dress, and I imagine the music would be something we’d both just groan at right now,” she said, shaking her head.

“We can pick different music,” he said, trying to lean to one side enough to see if he could spy her feet, only to have her hand move with him for an extra rotation, making him feel as she finished her own turn like he had spun a full 180 degrees. Watching her feet was evidently not allowed. “I’m sure you own a dress, and you haven’t even seen my fanciest clothes yet. I even took them out last week to make sure nothing had gotten to them.”

“Are you trying to throw me a prom?” She asked, her brow knitting together as she flashed a grin at him.

“I don’t see why not, we could consider it part of my ever-continuing education of your strange customs,” he drawled, staggering as she laughed so much her entire body shook. She turned him back to face her with another move of her hand and tilted her head skeptically.

“What would it be celebrating?”

He shrugged, rocking with her motions again as he continued to measure the time between each of their steps. “Your graduation.”

“That was almost fifteen years ago now,” she replied, nudging him with a finger and he flashed that cocksure grin at her again.

“Ah, that was your Highest-School graduation,” he corrected her with a dramatic flare of his own accent, both of them chuckling. “We’d be celebrating your graduation from the Henry Lemuels’ Academy of Waltz.”

Melanie’s eyes fell bashfully away, the grin spreading even more across her face as her ears went red. “Oh, I’ve done that well already?”

“Lord no,” he snapped, causing her to splutter on another laugh as he gripped her fingers with a teasing grin of his own. “But I have hope that you can manage before the event.”

She took in a breath and eased it out on a giggling sigh, shaking her head as those incredibly large eyes met his own again. “Well, I’m glad for at least that small concession.”

“Mind what you call me or I’ll fail you,” he said, both of them falling back into step again to the music of just their shared laughter.

There was no other music needed, as they spun themselves around on the hardwood floor.

They were good at making their own.

[janwixler]

so you know, sometimes I remember Nora wrote in EC that Kevin Day is with Thea muldani, actually married and have a kid call Amelia... I die everytime just by remembering that... :"))

[bornchaos]

◜⠀  𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒⠀⠀⠀ —⠀⠀ ،،̲      𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌 , 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 ﹗

𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗈 , 𝑖 𝑔𝑜 . 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝖾𝖾 , 𝒊 𝒔𝒆𝒆 .

２０１７ ／ ２０２３      ⟋         it might be silly but making this got me so emotional , she's my baby girl , my little meow meow &. there is something about her that is , unironically , embedded in my soul for the rest of my lifetime - i've grown so much &. coraline has along side me , there is not a single moment where i can picture me NOT thinking about her . she means the absolute world to me , even though writing has been a struggle , the love i have for this girl is unmatched .

[moss-is-a-frog]

Where are you lot finding people to date. I’m outside there’s no one here.

[piningprecussionist]

(ooc)

was just gonna be sneaky quiet for the day but I saw that I got another ask, so I figured I'd post somethin-

Weird writing day for me! That's why I haven't answered anything or gotten back to any threads yet. Trying to do art in the meantime; sorry for any delays y'all

[icewindandboringhorror]

I hate the idea of “modernized” adaptations.. if anything we should do the opposite.. take a popular show from 2015 and remake it set in the 1850s or 1400s or something.. it’s about the COSTUMES, it’s about the settings...!! i see fucking iphones and skinny jeans and mcdonalds and automobiles every day of my life.. it’s boring!!!! WHERE are the people in long velvet cloaks.. the elaborate architecture.. the showcase of previously forgotten technology and culture relevant to the time period.... 

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

Sorry for not really posting anything lads, I was working on a Christmas gift fic for my bestie (: I'll see about maybe getting a drabble or two done before I drive back home this weekend

[clockworkcheetah]

i wanna create so many things

[belethlegwen]

A Tale of Hobbies and Hammocks

Hello Today, I made a hammock. It's been a project of the last couple of days. I bought the materials on Sunday afternoon, and have been pouring over Nate Large's YouTube videos for how to make and rig an American Navy-style Hammock for quite some time. I initially found them through significant research I was doing for The Rescue and The Stranding and I learned a ton from Nate's videos. You may remember some time ago, I got myself a reference-Henry:

This guy is the full 8 inches Henry claims to be (Henry is only 7.2") but he's handy to have around. Since I got him he's been milling around on my desk for the most part, has come on a few purse adventures and so on, but I kept feeling bad that I didn't have a designated place for him to sleep. Well, a bed wasn't going to cut it. So, I reference again: Mr. Nate Large.

It started simply enough: I bought some fabric samples that resembled canvas enough, bought some D-rings because I figured they'd be easier to work with, needles, fancy thick thread, and came back to get to work. The first thing I did was start on the clews, and that required building a clew jig, as seen in this video. I am not a handiman by nature nor a particularly skilled or crafty creature in general, so I jimmy rigged something with a chunk of furniture board I had lying around from something:

On the first one the D-ring was too close the comb I was using as pegs, so it's adjusted in the second picture. Honestly I'm pretty proud of this McGuyver-level setup.

I didn't know how many loops I was going to be able to make for the clew with the measurements I had (again, nothing is completely precise just because I was going by rough estimates, eye-balling, and a general hit of a 10.4% scale of everything) so I kept this one pretty tight, which was difficult BUT it got the job done. Toothpicks for runners and thumbtacks as far as the eye can see.

The first completed clew, I had somehow missed literally the first loop but being as it was still functional, I kept it. If I had to scrap and start over at this point, I'd put the damn thing down and never pick it up again.

Second clew I went ahead and spread the loops out (there's 10 instead of 12 by the way, which I forgot to mention above). I hit all the loops this time on the finished product and am very very proud of having done both tiny weaves. Next step was the hammock. I took the white fabric I had, cut it twice as wide as I needed it because I wanted to try and replicate the thickness of the canvas I assumed would be used, and did the only stitch I know (needle go in, needle come out, needle go in again) to close up the open side and turn it inside out. I'm actually pretty proud of this especially because I only stabbed myself once! In the thigh, so it barely even counts.

I used a little hair flat-iron I never use to iron the fabric between stages. One thing I did NOT do was fold and sew the seams at the end, and that was literally because I realized that the measurements I had been using were for Canon-Henry, not Reference Henry. Canon-Henry is 10.4% scale, Reference-Henry is 11.6%, which is a pretty big difference when you're measuring the lengths of hammocks.

No I did not do grommets

I've never done grommets in my life and wasn't about to try and learn at nearly a 1/10th scale. I was crazy enough for doing THIS in the first place, I can ignore the need for awling and grommets and whatever else would've needed to happen for COMPLETE ACCURACY. Theater of the mind, friends. Anyway, I used the largest yarn darner that came in the pack I bought to poke 10 holes at equal intervals (1.4cm apart) along the sides, and then used the need to string the loops through the holes, and using a girth-knot on the first loop over my itty bitty rope, I slipped the rope through the rest of the loops until girth-knotting the end, and then: VOILA

ONE FULLY RIGGED CLEW

This was the first clew, so you can see in the second picture that one of the loops a little janky, but again: that's aesthetic problems. It's still very functional.

Second verse, same as the first until we get us:

TWO FULLY RIGGED CLEWS

Our hammock was now ready for testing, but I was too lazy to go get my ring-light stand to take proper pictures with, so the first demos were done with the use of the clew rigging board:

Henry in the hammock while slack, Henry in the hammock while tight. Snug as a bug in a rug.

Then, obviously, had to find a place to actually hang it. So: Over the storage-cubby in my desk, which I desperately need to clean out.

So that's the story of how I spent an excessive amount of time learning a very cool, neat set of skills at a very small scale just so I could flex a little.

Thanks for coming along on this journey of learning, and thanks again to Nate Large, whose name he will never know is so god damn on-point right now.

[screampied]

squirting for the first time with jjk men?? 😫

❛ SLIPPERY WHEN WET! ❜

sukuna, toji, getō, gojo, namami, choso. jjk men and their reaction to making you squirt for the first time

total wc. 3.6k

warnings. fem!reader, degradation, squirting, overstim, praise, fingering, unprotected sex, p*ssydrunk men, dumbification, pussyspanking, toy usage, edging. MDNI

FUSHIGURO ☆ TOJI

“hm? ain’t no guy ever make ya squirt before?” he grunts. and you’re just absentmindedly being stuffed, both of your wrists gripped back with toji holding onto them, his strokes were mean and demanding. your head continued to thump and bounce against the soft silk pillow that rested underneath your head. all you could make out was a sweet pathetic ‘nuh-uh’ and toji raises his thin eyebrows in amusement. “no baby…? not even once?”

“no- don’t think i can, i tried myself but…”

he snickers. “silly girl. trust me, you can squirt,” you bit your lip, eyes nearly rolling back from his jagged thrusts, its so good you nearly feel drool start to run down the corners of your mouth, how embarrassing it was—yet you remained stupid from his dick, feeling the warmth of your pussy clench tight against him. “want me to test it out?”

“yeah,” you whine, your voice was a mere soft mewl, an almost mumble practically, and toji gifts your ass with a spank, eliciting a moan from your mouth. he grows cocky the minute a huh? leaves his mouth. so you correct yourself with a “y-yes.”

“….‘yeah’ what girl,” he groans, skimming his dark green eyes down to see how your body jerks underneath him. his weight lightly hovers against you, and he’s still got a firm grip with your wrists, having you pitifully tongue-tied. “taught you how to speak to me. so let’s try that again.”

arrogant bastard, what your thoughts originally said—making you purposely repeat yourself, but his cock always always made up for it.

“please,” you choke out, moaning from the way he deepens his thrusts just a tad bit, your mouth starts to water from the way your pussy twitches in content. “make me squirt toji. please. i wanna be messy for you.”

“aw that’s my girl,” he purrs, releasing his grip from your wrists, yet it remains still against your bare back, his thrusts snap against you to where a cute gasp leaves your lips. “but oh, you’ve been messy though, but there’s nothing wrong with that, princess,” he teases, such mockery escaping from his tone. “relax for me, yeah? you’ll feel it when it comes.”

“okay,” you moaned, your left cheek pressed up against the white sheets of the mattress. it was cute, your face being up against the bed as you’re being absolutely stuffed and pounded. you felt yourself tightening from the inside—a coil desperately awaiting to be snapped, a feeling you never knew you could feel, and you probably looked so dumb. “okay okay o-okay.”

you cutely kept sputtering, repeating and bracing yourself. toji brings a rough hand towards the back of your neck as he’s ramming his fat length from behind you, such thrusts has your body spasming and crying out for more, it feels like a orgasm being snatched away from you.

“give it to me, girl.” he grunts, giving your ass another mean spank. the immense build up. your legs judder continuously to where your mind goes blank like an empty canvas, empty..

“a-ah t-toji—!” you squeaked, and he’s so ruthless whenever it came to you, each time you try to sit up to turn around he shoved your head lightly back down, it’s so cute. “fuck, fuck. f-fuck, ‘s about to-” and a gasp interrupts your words the minute you squirt all down his shaft to his base, your sweet juices sheath and sheath all the way down and it’s so warm and hot.

the minute you end up squirting, your legs felt so weak, it just quavered and shook. “oh my g-god,” you sobbed, and he slows his sloppy thrusts against your cunt down—leaning up close to you, direct and personal. “there we go mama, my messy fuckin’ squirter,” he whispers, he’s pressed against your ass and wraps a few fingers around your neck. planting a kiss underneath your chin he murmurs. “you made such a mess. how’s it feel?”

“good. but feels w-wet toji.”

“eheh, well yeah girl, that’s kinda the point.” he snickers, playfully sinking his teeth into your neck, giving it a teasing nibble.

SUKUNA ☆ RYŌMEN

“hm? make you squirt huh? so greedy.. my fingering isn’t enough for you?” sukuna teases and you’re laid flat on your back with your legs lazily lifted up, more like he’s holding them up for you.

you moaned, feeling him slide a single digit in and out. he sneaks a wet kiss against your thigh before leaning in to press his lips against your pussy, tasting how sweet you were. “...kuna ‘m not greedy, just wanna see what it feels like, please..”

“you are greedy,” he grunts, giving your cunt a swift spank to make your legs twitch, “but sure thing.” he mutters, warm minty breath going against your clit. your head goes back and your mouth slightly opens and parts from the way he’s fingering you and eating you out. his lips latch and lock against your folds to make your eyes roll back. he was so filthy with his tongue let alone his fingers.

you sucked your teeth—feeling his two fingers push deep in and out, going past against that spot each time, instead of your eyes rolling you were practically crossed eyed.

“f-fuck, fuck, ‘s good ‘kuna...”

“i know. you keep saying that, dumb girl. quit talkin’ and start squirting.” and you lose count of how many mean slaps he gives your pussy. he’s so mean, yet found every few seconds to praise you and let you know how good you’re doing.

“h-hurry up and make me then.”

“little girl, watch it.” he grunts, gifting you a glare, his eyes pierce against yours before he sits up, spitting right on your pussy with a rough spat, he runs a single middle finger down your slit to snatch the tiny brat left in you. you meet eye contact and your slick was very much glistening his chin, being soaked with your sweetness.

your legs were so close, just the epitome of the word jittery with how it just shook, never once staying still. the stimulation he created with his tongue let alone his fingers, it had your mind boggled. “think ‘m getting close, f-fuck.”

“uh huh. fuckin’ bet you are.” he whistles in response—grabbing ahold of his dick and you let off a cute gasp at the way he swipes his throbbing leaky pre-swollen tip against your wetness. “look at that, princess.

so eager to jus’ swallow me up.” and he slowly makes his way inside your cunt, immediately your walls hug him as a response and you’re just at the very limit. “come on, let go for me. you dont gotta be shy around me, neither does this wet pussy.”

the minute you squirt…it’s embarrassing, sukuna only smacks about five deep thrusts against your cunt and you’re already making a mess all over his base. “s-so good.” you’d cry out, and he’s staring at you.

a grunt departs his lips before he leans in to kiss you, pulling out only to ghost his fingers against your clit.

“you’re such a nasty girl,” he murmurs against your lips, you moan—tasting your own slick that ran down his chin, the sharp edges of his teeth playfully nibbling down on your lip. his body heat against yours made you feel tingly and even more in such heat. “tell me you’re my nasty girl, baby.”

“i-i’m a nasty girl, ‘kuna.” you moaned.

he gives you a dead stare—and you whine once he slips two fingers inside your throbbing pussy.

“i’m your nasty girl, ‘kuna.” you rephrased, and a cocky grin forms on his lips.

“what a good obident girl. think i like you.”

NANAMI ☆ KENTO

“you sure sweetheart?” he asks in a soft mumble, he has a wand in hand. the ringing of the toy rings against your ears as your legs were sprawled apart for him. “you want me to make you…squirt?”

“yes p-please, kento.” you nod, the cuteness bestowed upon your lips was beyond words to describe. the way your lip quivered, it was barely up a few notches yet you throbbed and throbbed. despite it only being a good ten minutes. you’re just a whimpering mess.

eager to touch yourself, you reach down to play with your pussy before he grabs it, kissing the back of your hand.

he chuckles. “oh baby…baby, gotta keep those hands to yourself if you want me to make you messy. okay? no touching.”

“s-sorry kento.”

“aw, don’t be sorry. squirt, princess.” he teases, a hum underneath his tone he was so gentle with you, with his touch yet your legs felt like they were pretty much about to give out.

the stimulation made your teeth nearly chatter, toes clench and your back nearly arching. he finds you to be so pretty like this. flat on your chest, drool running down your mouth against the pillow with your mind empty.

you hold in a moan, teeth lightly piercing down on your lip to help silence yourself from the immense pleasure, the overstim from just releasing had your chin just hovering over your arm.

“o-one more level kento.”

“more? it’s gonna be on four, dunno if my cute whiney princess can handle that.”

“p-please, need it. i wanna-”

you moan at the swift sound of nanami swiping a thumb across the vibrating toy feeling the impulses throb against your sweet cunt, indeed it now being a level higher from three and it’s so good you can just taste the urge to let yourself go.

the sudden feeling of his sneaking fingers to brush and slither against your puffy folds was just enough to send you to burst—your mouth slightly went agape, and you’re just stupid. “n-nanami.”

“so dumbstruck you said nanami instead of kento, such a sweet thing,” and you end up squirting the minute he rubs the toy in a circular motion—maneuvering it against you along with fingers to ghost and run alongside your achy pussy. “easy, ‘s okay. lie down on your chest. jus’ let go for me baby, yeah.”

“such a gorgeous girl,” he whispers in awe, leaning down to kiss your clit which turns to countless smooches, mwah after mwah and your legs were practically mush by now. “let me clean you all up with my tongue, ‘m your husband, least i could do. so relax for me, my love.”

SUGURU ☆ GETO

“oh? i’ve made you squirt before, no?” he cackles, leaning back against the headrest of the couch.

“no,” you whined, still getting over your post-orgasm, his cock stood firm inside of you, such inches of his kept you warm with your hands pressed against his chest. geto stares at you with intrigued darkened eyes. having you sat on his lap, legs still barely recovered a few minutes ago. “don’t think you ever did...”

geto grips your waist, sliding a tongue across his lips before muttering in a sly coy tone. “mhm hmm,” and he’s so sassy, even having the audacity to roll his eyes at you. black specks of hair trickle down and paint the lower half of his body. geto’s happy trail was always appetizing to look at.

“this your little way of asking me to make you soak yourself on me, angel? how cute.” he grins.

“…sugu—” and you gasp at the way he grunts the minute the pads of his thumbs lightly press and pierce into your skin. he starts making you bounce against him and your mouth opens, such lewd whines exit your lips before you throw your arms around his neck.

“wanna squirt, do it yourself. fuck me baby. show me how bad you want it,” and he groans how he’s so stuffed. so full of cum still, hefty base pounding and thwacking back against your pussy. “you’re a big girl. do it y-yourself, mhm…shit.”

he was so teasingly sly, making you rut yourself against him, in the end you always had to do pretty much everything yourself whenever it came to geto.

“…okay,” you choked out, and he playfully leans back — tiny beads of sweat running down the side of his forehead as well as the very middle part of his chiseled v-line.”

it felt so good, you’re dumbly grating your teeth together, still so sensitive, the only cacophony that left your lips was cute whimpers of, “s-sugu,” “…want you s’bad,” and even, “you’re so mean.”

he chuckles at how dumb you grew out to be simply from being stuffed full of thick inches of his dick. “gotta be mean to deal with a pussy this wet.”

his girth had you running for your money, toes clinching as you started to rollick and jerk your hips against him, reaching a hand down to play with yourself before you whine. “f-feel it, suguru.”

“yeah? what are you waitin’ for then?” he purrs.

he chuckled at the sudden moments where you’d grow quiet — he knows how good he’s getting underneath your skin with his vexatious teasing.

his cock expanded in and out the more you moved your hips against him, your soft breaths getting caught in your throat before it comes, you squirt at the same time geto came and he’s caught off guard by the sticky messy feeling, he’s the one who slips off a whine. “s-shit..”

it came out a lot…

let alone with him soaking your cunt full of his own, you really felt stuffed and full to the very depths of it, it felt like a sharp coil within you snapped. geto starts panting, and he takes a moment to blink before grunting, staring away with a flustered face. “don’t look at me. finish fucking me, hmph.”

SATORU ☆ GOJO

“pretty please, ‘toru,” you’d whine out, and he was just straight up cocky and mean, teasing you with having you on all fours, impatient and desperately desperate. “i wanna…wanna squirt.”

“i know you do,” he laughs, playfulness ran all over his tone before he gives your ass a squeeze. that earned a needy moan out of you and you but down on your lip while staring at the fat sheets of the mattress underneath you. “are you asking me to make you squirt or are ya tellin’ me, pretty girl?”

he was so infuriating. even while being plugged in with so much of his thick inches, even just barely with the way he kept swiping his fat tip against your slit, awaiting you.

“….‘m asking, s-satoru.”

he whirrs a playful tone before flipping you over on your back to face him, and then he smiles. “okay. if that’s what you want,” and his voice was so low—a tad bit raspy with pompous smugness all over his sentences. “since i know how impatient ‘n horny you are all the damn time, i’ll make ya squirt in about one minute.”

a minute?

was that even possible—you always heard about how it would take at least longer than that but then you remembered who you were dealing with. gojo satoru and his long pretty fingers that never failed to stretch your pussy out. he was forever proud of that fact, he’d make you soaking wet from not only his dick, his mouth, but especially his fingers.

“it’s gonna get messy, ‘m warning you,” he teases, pulling you up a bit to place a towel down underneath your back. he leans in to pepper kisses underneath your chin before seconds later, he moves his length aside with a grip — before slowly stuffing a single long finger inside, which after a few milliseconds, turns into another. “now, i’m gonna need you to be a good wet girl and jus’ relax for me.”

his words were soothing. you could hardly comprehend anything so his sentences went straight towards your clit, throbbing and throbbing you wanted more. he finds it cute how you grip onto his wrist, babbling about how you don’t want him to stop. “o-okay, satoru. okay.”

you shudder at the feeling of him grazing a thumb down your slit and he moves his head down between your legs to blow softly against your pussy and you moan, feeling him create a good amount of pressure to where you bare down against his fingers easily as if it came natural.

“sweet girl,” he groans, giving your pussy a kittenish suck. your eyes went back in pleasure and you whined at the feeling of his two fingers just smacking in and out of you now. the noises, they were so loud you could hardly even believe it was coming out of you. “hear how wet this sloppy pussy is? yeah girl, that’s you.”

his words that went through your ear and out the other and it got you so wet. his degradation had you pulsing, you felt the inside of your tummy tighten, muscles clenching with you lying down on your back, bracing yourself. gojo was patient with you, occasionally bringing soft kisses towards your clit. you whined before he started to grow more feral, sucking and latching his tongue against your folds while still having two fingers stuffed inside your pussy.

your brain doesn’t even process you’re squirting before gojo lets off a, “oopsie,” the minute you squirt out on his fingers, the front tips of his fingers massage and toy and prod against that spot you always grew to know—and you moan at the way he easily stole a orgasm from you like that, within a single span of a minute.

“aw. you look like you just saw your life flash before your eyes, baby,” then he sits up to face you. both arms pressed around you before muttering in a teasing tone, “want a taste? open your mouth.”

and he gives you the most sloppiest kiss, shoving his tongue down your throat before grunting, you moan in his mouth. your legs wrapped around his slim waist before he squeezes a hand down on your pussy only to spank it roughly, breaking away for a bit before whispering, “good girl. now gimme one more. wanna see if i can do it within thirty seconds.”

CHOSO ☆ KAMO

“b-baby…you wanna do that?” choso mumbles, staring in awe as the both of you watched some random eight minute compilation of women squirting. he was staring intently, and then he only grew more flustered at picturing you like that. legs all spread, eyes rolled back and maybe your tongue stupidly lolled out. “um.. squirt?”

“yes…” you nodded, sitting on his lap. he throbbed behind you, still a bit tingly from his recent orgasm of fucking you.

you pressed against his back and his chin cutely rests against your shoulder. choso’s always been a bit inexperienced whenever it came to well, women. he’s had sex sure….but he doesn’t think he’s ever made a girl do this, this thing called squirting. not until you brought it up.

the more he watched it, the more he moaned to himself at imagining you being all messy like that.

“okay baby, i can do it,” he murmurs in a soft voice.

he brings a hand between your legs and pries it open just a bit, “lie back,” he moans, seeing your legs sprawl open slowly for him made him lick his lips, he was so hungry for you. you had the phone in your hand so he could watch, imitate the exact ways to make a woman squirt with ease and it was so cute how attentive he was. “s-stimulate the um…g-spot a little like this,” he mumbles to himself, and you moan once he slowly inserts two slender long fingers inside your pussy, you were so wet he lets off a cute, “o-oh….”

his eyes multitasked, turning its focus towards you and the screen that played the lewd video at the same time. “like that c-choso, please.”

“i’m doing a good job?” he says, and it’s almost into a form of a whine. all because he’s so desperate to hear your praise and approval, he feels his stomach flip in a good way at feeling you nod against his chest, affirming him to not stop. “okay, okay,” he mutters. “add a little um…p-pressure, consistent pressure until you feel a spongey like texture deep towards the clit.”

you moaned, his words matched his fingers, you tried to squeeze your thighs together but remembered you couldn’t because they were open.

your head rested back against his chest and with a right hand squeezing down onto his thigh, you felt your leg start to bounce. “m-more.”

“don’t wanna rush this baby,” he kisses the back of your forehead. a small pout going across your lips before he continues, pausing to hear the voice on the video that’s instructing speak.

he leans against your ear, strands of his hair poking against you before he murmurs. “bare against my fingers princess. squeeze down a little ‘n relax. can you do that?”

you choke out a moan once you obey his words, doing exactly what he says before you feel a sudden rush reaching out, you never felt this feeling before such a high you craved and chased you felt dizzy, a good kind of a dizzy.

“c-choso, ‘s coming, ‘s coming,” you moaned, your legs not able to hold themselves still. he has a perfect bowling ball grip with his fingers, stroking gently against you to where your mouth salivates with your own saliva.

“…fuck,” you sobbed, the warmth of him massaging his long fingers inside of you made you taste every number of tastebuds that resided on your tongue.

the moment you gush out and squirt, coating his fingers clean of your sheeny pretty slick, you flop back against his chest and you can ever hear a tiny gasp leave his lips. “w-wow,” he whispers in shock — with how much you squirted, he was so fascinated, growing more and more curious and it was adorable. “can you…can we do that again? please?”

[lxnarphase]

keep it quiet ๋࣭ ⚝

☾₊‧⁺...ft. : g. satoru + g. suguru + n. kento + h. hiromi + f. toji + k. shiu + k. choso + r. sukuna + h. kinji + t. fumihiko + t. aoi ☾₊‧⁺...cw : college au, 'we have to be quiet' trope, unprotected sex ☾₊‧⁺...synopsis + a/n : this is based off an old ask from my old account that i just HAD to redo but for the jjk men : "which of the jjk men would fuck you when visiting your parents in your childhood home?"

who teases you the whole time ↴

g. suguru ; oh, he’s an asshole, acting like an innocent angel when in reality he’s slipped his hand into the back of your sweatpants several times today, giving your ass a squeeze when your parents weren’t looking. you nearly curse him out when he ‘squeezed past’ you, his hand on your waist pulling you against him as he makes sure you feel how hard he is through his pants. so it's no surprise when he whisks you away and has you pressed against your bedroom wall. 

“do you hear that? those dirty noises you making from me fucking you? bet you wanted this all day, didn’t you, princess?” “didn’t mean to go that deep…but might do it again, just like this. oooh, I like that noise you made, pretty girl, make it again for me.”

g. satoru ; satoru can sense you getting needy, pulling you to your bedroom the second your parents bid the two of you good night. it's technically his fault, just a few minutes before your parents said goodnight, he excused himself to the bathroom. you were confused when your phone buzzed and you saw a message from satoru, opening it just to see a picture of his hand wrapped around his dick. 

“didya plan this, baby? hm? for me to fuck you until you cream on my cock in your parents' house? so needy, my pretty little baby.” “such a whore f'me...you can’t stop thinking about my dick, look at how wet you got just from that picture. bet it feels good being stuffed with it now, right, baby?” "oooh, she's creamin' all over me, so pretty, i can't stop, can't fucking stop, so fucking pretty when you're all messy like this."

f. toji ; he acts like it’s not him who had you against the wall with his hands up your shirt and his tongue in your mouth literally seconds before your parents came back home from the store. the two of you are on edge, and the second your parents tell toji he is free from helping in the kitchen, he drags you away to your old bedroom down the hall to continue what he started. 

“you're not talkin', but fuck, you’re making so much noise down here, they’re gonna know, sweetheart.” “you gonna cum, mama? aww, pretty thing's gonna make a mess of my cock while your parents are down the hall waiting for us to come eat? fuck, do it, baby, cum all over my cock like a good girl.”

r. sukuna : it's some family get-together your parents invited you to, but you can barely focus on saying hi to everywhere with the way sukuna is draped over you, arms around your waist as he presses his hips into your ass as you talked to your parents. the moment you have the chance, you make some excuse about showing sukuna your childhood home, dragging him inside to your old bathroom. 

“you really wanted me, didn’t you? my pretty whore, sucking me back in, your squeezing me so tight.” “had to pull me away into the bathroom to fuck you stupid. tch, desperate slut." "you know your parents are literally right outside, what if they come back in? mm? come on, let me really fuck y'deep, give ya what you want.” 

h. kinji : he just wants to get on your nerves, seeing how bold you were acting in the car earlier about being your parents’ best kid, telling kinji what an angel you were in your parents’ eyes. sure, you still are the biggest sweetheart kinji has ever encountered but...little angel? oh, he couldn't wait to prove to you how that’s changed.

“’little angel’, huh? pfft, if only they knew what a slut their precious girl is. what if they walked in right now, seeing how their ‘good little angel’ is taking her boyfriend's dick like a dirty little slut?” “right there? is that where it feels good, cupcake? ohh, shit, baby, did you cum already? aww, you can keep going right?” "i know, i know, 's too much, 's too much, but you're takin' it like a champ, hun, just keep cummin' and let your man fuck you good, baby, pretty please?"

who is loud and doesn't care ↴

t. fumihiko : if you want to keep him quiet, you better kiss him or put something in his mouth to shut him up because he’s so lost in how good you feel that he can’t keep his volume down, knowing that your parents are probably watching tv downstairs.

“i-i can’t stay quiet, ‘m sorry, if we get caught i-i’ll make up to you, just-just lemme go faster, pretty please?” “ah, i know i said one more but can’t stop, n-need to cum again!" "’s already leaking out of you, hohmygodd...g-gotta fill you again, keep you nice and full of my cum, fuuuuck, ‘m gonna cum again!”

t. aoi : it's those damn sweatpants. the second he changed when you got to your parents’ house, you can fucking see his dick print when he sits down, the way he has to spread his legs not helping. you drag him into the bathroom with the intent to fix it, just to see this motherfucker isn't wearing underwear.

“aww, bunny, ya didn’t have t' lie. if you wanted me to fuck you so bad all you had to do was ask.” “saw you starin’ at it, you're not very subtle...you happy now that 'm fucking you full, bunny? shh, don't whine, babe, 's okay.” “so loud, they're gonna know i’m about to stuff you with my cum. hey, don't cover your mouth, it's alright, i'll buy 'em somethin' to make up for it, bunny.”

k. choso : as you sit next to him at the dinner table, you can feel his leg bouncing, rubbing up against yours. you press your hand to his leg, looking at him with a concerned face when you see how choso is sweating a little, his ears pink. all it takes is one glance down for you to see he got himself worked up. 

“i know, 'm sorry, 'm so sorry, b-bad timing but i need you. i’m so fucking hard. g-god, you're just so pretty and-and i gotta fuck you, i promise i'll do it nice 'n' good, you'll love it so much, baby.” “h-huh? fuck, i knoww, g-gotta be quiet but you feel so good. can i go harder? please? i know it’ll make noise, but need to go harder, wanna cum in you, wanna fuckin' stuff your pretty cunt full of my cum, babyyy.”

who manages to stay quiet ↴

h. hiromi : hiromi didn’t know what happened until you sat him on your bed, locking the door behind you before getting in his lap and pulling him into a deep kiss. he doesn’t know how thin the walls are so he opts to keep your lips on his so your moans don’t reach your parents in the living room.

“shhh…stay quiet, sweet girl. i know it’s a lot, but you have to be quiet.” “i can…see a little bump whenever i fucking slide back into you...god. what if i press down on it- oh fuck, don’t squeeze me like that, fuck.” “you’re squeezing me so tight, sweetheart, does it feel that good? yeah? hey, hey, shhh, come here. kiss me, don’t be too loud, kiss me when you cum.”

n. kento : kento is hushing you the whole time, not questioning the way you shook him awake while whispering his name. poor thing, he can instantly hear the desperation in your voice, the want and need to take care of you helping him wake up quicker. but your parents were above your room, so kento knows he had to keep you quiet. 

“nonono, let me take care of you darling. i don't mind, you just focus on staying quiet, i’ll make it all go away.” “mhm, i know i’m hitting your spot, angel, but you have to stay quiet. i know it feels good, i knowwwww, but stay quiet for me.” “shh, shh, you can do it, cum quietly like a good girl, i've taught you how to be a good girl, right? come on, be good, be a good girl for me, cum for me.”

k. shiu : it's 4am when he wakes you up, mumbling something about not being able to sleep. you don't even get the chance to ask him what's wrong before he pulls his pajama pants down, his cock slapping against his stomach as a thick stand of precum dripping down the base. he needs help otherwise he’ll be up all night.

"mm, angel, you're being too loud. be quiet for me, don’t need your parents hearing us.” “stop making so much noise before i fuck your mouth instead, or is that what you want?” “i should've had you like this in the first place...poor thing, always so noisy when my cock hits you this deep, right? mmn, just keep your ass up and your face in the pillow, baby, sound so pretty all muffled.”

all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work

[brainrotdotorg]

imagine a dashboard for alligators. what do you think that would look like

2 notes

🍏gatoridae Follow

Controversial opinion. If you're doing nothing but eating meat, what are you even doing. Remember to include bugs, fruits, and legumes into your diet in order to help aid digestion of the meat that you get from snakes, fish, and mammals.

Just because we have the reputation for eating lots of meat, that doesn't mean we have to stick to it.

🥒biting-you-biting-you Follow

counterpoint: fuit yucky

🪵blog-from-a-bog Follow

wdym reputation of eating meat. i float lik ea log thats what im known for

4,904 notes

🌿swamp-ass Follow

asked dad if i could go and steal some Floridian guy's lunch and he said "we have prey at home" girl we have been doing shit ALL DAY i am an awesome 600 pounds and I need some meat left on me to deathroll with. let me get a quick snack that i don't need to kill mmmmmmm burgers I want people food soooooo badddd....... i know they shouldn't feed it to me but I have such a lovely smile oh please oh please give me your burger.........

182 notes

🥗aliali-seeyoulater Follow

mom says it was cold the season she laid me so i have to be a girl. because girls are always born from eggs laid during cold seasons.

cope and seethe mother first of all, second of all, the reason i am transgender is because you kept me too fucking snuggly warm in the nest.

#i guess if you wanted a daughter you should have. idk. made a shittier nest? #thats not really my fault man

81,337 notes

⛰fuckyeahhugesnout Follow

You'll never guess how I just learned that we have the honor of being the "loudest reptiles in the world"

🫑teethem Follow

Yeah yeah, the 90 decibel mating bellow, we've all heard it.

🤢ch0mper Follow

we've all heard the what

135,633 notes

🩲gaytorrr Follow

this guy asked if i wanted to see his gator hole and i said fuck yes. why this boy take me into a 65 foot long hole in the mud at the bottom of the lake

6,421 notes

🏞daily-clawsitivity

✨Remember to take it easy sometimes!✨We thrive in slow-moving waters!✨Even though we can run fast, we get tired fast too-- it's okay to let yourself take breaks!✨Let yourself relax, that's how we made it this far as a species.

mud-rocks-deactivated20140706

Yeah, imagine telling your prehistoric great great great great great great great great great great grandpa or something to calm down and relax when he should be doing nothing but deathrolls. the longevity of the species should be your only goal. It's irresponsible to encourage your fucking species to fall behind even more than it already has? Have some pride, you're not a crocodile.

scalesssss-deactivated20150310

jesus christ calm down

alidile-crocogator-deactvated20140709

Okay, this post has a lot of misconceptions in it. There aren't as many differences between crocodiles and alligators than you think. It's really harmful to think that we have nothing in common with each other. So what if they're carnivores and we're closer to omnivores, or their snouts are more U shaped while ours are V shaped. We're both badass miracles of nature that have no reason to be pit against one another all the time.

Don't listen to guys like this. It's just hateful and small-minded.

stop-jawlock-androll-deactivated20140911

crocs are like. like them shoes that float right

wetlandia898 Follow

i wish i was a crocodile because i could have a virgin birth and i wanted to see what it would be like to eat an immaculate conception.

bigchallengesrealblog-deactivated20190412

welcome to the no notes gator/croc discourse post.

🦖l8rg8tr-z Follow

omg this is the post.... i can't believe i would see this naturally on my dash

🎍taildraggers Follow

Uh are we just going to ignore the virgin birth reply orrrrrrrrr

🐊gator-heritage-posts

gator heritage post

0 notes

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Follow

hgwiow h

hsfhjs

howw ws i nbevyrboy tyopingssaog oo vd wi hhrth rh thrre cl alawas ?>>

🌴a-l-g-t-r Follow

lmao this idiot never learned how to use their tail to type

#/j lol yeah its kind of hard at first #actually i'd say cut your losses and forget how to type bring the laptop back to the dumpster its not worth it

39 notes

🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow

am i fucking stupid. i just learned theres another species of alligator other than just me and the guys in my swamp. and i said "oh wow I didn't know that! which one of the two are we haha" and my buddy just stared at me like I was a fucking idiot. how am i supposed to know if no one ever tells me this . WHICH AM I

🍖meet-eat3r Follow

there are only 70-80 mature chinese gators in existence while there are 750,00-1 million mature american gators . do the math.

🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow

i could have just hatched you don't know me.

20,570 notes

🍀gatortears Follow

a group of queer gators in church call that a congregaytion

#reblogging this one bc none of you appreciate me

1 notes

👞makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow

I'm seeing the no notes gator/croc post circulate again and ha ha yes it's very funny, but we are NOT starting gator/croc discourse in 2024. lets leave that shit in the past. i know that's not what the post really ended up being about but i am soooooo sick of it.

🌾clawstothewalls Follow

okay, so the one with a fetish for getting turned into handbags is gonna talk down to us now.

👞 makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow

Not to be a pedant but its Shoes Actually. It even says so in the name. Shoes.

2,663 notes