#its just so frustrating bc for once im doing Everything they tell you to do and it just doesnt work

[bluupxels]

these days im only ever interested in sims for a few days at a time so i can play dolls with my other video game ocs, However i think i'd be more interested in it if i didnt have to wrestle with the fawking game to open every single time i want to play.

like for the past year or so ive been having issues opening the game, frequent "corrupted or missing game files" errors and constant crashing on the first loading screen. it literally started out of nowhere, on a fresh install!!, and has just gotten progressively worse. ive done the 50/50 method with my mods like 6 times at this point its never consistent. sometimes taking out backup saves works, mind you ive only been running the game with 1 single save in that ive saved as multiple times and then taken out the old ones just in case. i literally have a spreadsheet of all my mods and when they were last updated and downloaded that i constantly check and i get rid of ones that haven't been updated in a while. the game tends to not crash when those folders are in so it must be cc right? so ill do 50/50 and think ive narrowed it down but then itll crash without those folders, ill put them back in just to double check and suddenly it works. but then the next time i go to play the game wont open.

i mod dragon age and bethesda games to smithereens and have never had issues like this with those notoriously finicky games its absurd

[wuntrum]

can you speak on your severance s2 opinions? i promise this isnt in bad faith or anything, im just anon bc im shy lol, im genuinely curious

i'm gonna put this under a read more because it's gonna be long but...yeah [scratches head] if YOU the person reading this looooved this season and see nothing you didn't like about it, thats awesome and i'm happy for you. i also liked things in this season, and also its normal to be able to critique things you like, love and light <3 its literally just television

generally, yeah, i found myself disappointed with it. i think the writing this season, both the dialogue and then the actual character/world writing, fell flat and/or seemed like it was completely incongruous with the characters and world that we had seen in season 1. i think something i really appreciated about season 1 is that yes, mark was our main character and the lens we got introduced to both the inside and outside world, but both felt so much BIGGER than just him.

season 2, the entire plot and world and characters bend and contort to make mark like, the center of the universe lol. it's kind of ridiculous, the extent to which the world revolves around him now. it makes the world feel SOOO small. parts of my favorite worldbuilding aspects are seeing how the outside world feels about severance--i think the part where we see how working as a severed employee makes it almost impossible to work anywhere else is great! and in concept i like seeing other towns that have been devastated by lumon's industrialization, though i don't love the execution that we got. so like...everything lumon does is about mark? ALL of it? i know we don't know exactly how long lumon has been operating but like...they've been working on this stuff for longer than two years, lol. like, how many files have dylan completed? irving? petey? that girlie who wrote the lexington letter? is all of their work literally meaningless? like i get that there were people before gemma who failed the tests and they died, sure, but what about when mark started working there? what about the files that irving started and didn't finish, why don't they care about those? ohhhh right, because that's not the one that mark's working on. i get that it'd be a big deal if they got it to work fully once, but surely they'd want to make it work AGAIN, right??? like a science experiment?? i just wish we got like, A nod to other people on the testing floor, because i think the implication is that all of them are working on files connected to…different people, but maybe they're all just different versions of gemma?

honestly all of the innie stuff this season just felt so…idk, aimless? it feels like parts of the building only exist when the writers want them to, and just generally are not interested in exploring anything outside of the romantic aspects for all of these characters. like sure, after the season 1 finale, their asses are not gonna wanna work (EXCEPT FOR WHEN THEY DO? TO MOVE THE PLOT ALONG?), but where's the camaraderie? what about all those other people in O&D, they literally export things to the testing floor, maybe they know about gemma? fundamentally i think the thing that's the most frustrating about innie mark is that they keep telling us that he doesn't care about gemma. which, sure, outie gemma, he doesn't have that same connection with as helly, whatever. but also, he DOES care about her, he literally knows that that's ms casey and that lumon was just going to do what they always do when they fire people????? like s1 mark cared soooo much about his coworkers, ALL OF THEM, even the ones that weren't there anymore—seeing petey and then ms casey get removed was like, a HUGE deal and vital to his growth as a character!!!! and the way that they constructed this whole season basically to remove everyone that isn't mark and helly by the end. lol. i'm honestly shocked that they didn't make a new version of the desk that was just two chairs, like dylan was just excluded from the finale except for when they needed him to come in and hold the door against mr. milchick. again. lol

i don't inherently have a problem with exploring the romantic stuff, i think that could have been done well, but i just don't think it was. and that's primarily because, i think the writing this season for helly was ass! they took away her agency and subjugated her to be just the love interest for mark! especially with the finale, i just feel like the helly i know would've been like mark, what are you doing??? go?!? like she wants to take down lumon, THAT's what will take down lumon! like whatever, mark made the choice that he did, but helly playing along with it makes no fucking senseee. like they want us to think that it's the same ol helly we know and love, they give us crumbs of her anger, like when she's rallying the marching band people or whatever, but again, only when it's plot convenient. WHY WOULD SHE NOT ATTACK JAME? he's like 90???? and helly doesn't like this man???? she has nothing to lose???? fucking THROW something at him helly!!!! the helly that tried to chop her fingers off and hang herself and gave that speech in the s1 finale is not in the room with us. and i don't mean this in a way where i think it's helena again, it's not. they've just completely fumbled her character because they want mark and helly to be together at all costs. and honestly, i think it's so reductive to make this show just about ships, but textually it feels like that's what they want us to do, and i think that's sad. again, it makes the show feel so SMALL, when the world within it used to feel so BIG and like we would want to learn more about it. i care about mark and helly--before they kissed!! i think it was rewarding to see the ways they challenged each other and grew as people!! them as a romantic thing could work but they haven't put in the work to MAKE it work. and, it feels like of redundant even to say, but i do think it's fucking ridiculous to write a story where we get kissing and fucking for allllll the straight characters and then the one gay couple doesn't even get a kiss before separating them completely and writing irving out of the show, basically. like what are we in, hayes code era television?

but yeah, the information they chose to reveal vs what they didn't was also frustrating. i honestly wish they revealed less! there's so much TELLING this season. it feels like they think we're stupid (which, i can't speak for the entire population watching the show, maybe some people literally do need mark to look at the camera and explain everything, idk). like there's sooo much clever storytelling in the first season that just, completely gets snuffed out from overexplaining. i understand in the finale that oMark needs to tell iMark about why he did all of this but like, WE as the audience already know??? we don't need to see this?? and cobel confirming stuff i feel like we already knew about how the numbers work and like, i just don't knowwww. like you can just show me it, i was picking up on it. like we know about the four tempers, you show it to us all the time, cobel having to look dead in the camera and explain it just made me feel like there was a better way we could've done this. i do think some stuff benefits from a "hard" confirmation. like i'm glad they confirmed the helena thing, BECAUSE it backs up and supports all of the lovely and subtle things they had already shown to prove that it WAS helena! like i've known since the first episode LOL, so they do KNOW how to do subtle storytelling. and i think the gemma episode was great, i loved seeing her as a character and thought it gave her so much depth. but again, i think allll of the explaining they do this season not only snuffs out the fun of speculating on the viewing end, but from a writing perspective it just kind of writes them into a corner. i think they're focused too much on making these elaborate set pieces and events take place without thinking of how they fit together, not only on like a writing/episodic level but just the world of lumon at large.

i think a great way they showed story in the first season is through the paintings, and through irving and burt bonding over the paintings! like it not only establishes the lore of kier and then we get to learn more about them as characters through their reactions to the paintings. the paintings this season, honestly, were weak, they were so heavy handed. love and light to whoever painted them, but they were nottt doing the job for me.

(this is a small thing, but like…the intake questionnaire asks them to "name a US state or territory," so they KNOW that delaware is a state. so why would they think the equator is a building? again its just like. a cutesy moment for mark and helly to banter but they could've done it in a way that isn't contradictory to like, our understanding of what information crosses over the sever and what does not).

i keep thinking about the ORTBO, and it just seems fucking CRAZY to me that they aren't freaking out about SEEING THE SKY? BREATHING FRESH AIR? FEELING FIRE? SLEEPING?? WASN'T THE WHOLE THING THAT THEY COULDN'T FALL ASLEEP???? i guess my impression of how the chip works is that the technology doesn't know how to handle when they enter a subconscious/asleeep state, so the innie and outie memories begin to bleed together, hence why dozing would be a bad thing on the job. but again, they clearly had this idea of how they wanted irving to reveal that it's helena in the waterfall, and yes, i did enjoy the spectacle of the episode, but its another example of how they'll build these moments and only focus on what they want to see. like there's so much interesting stuff that they could explore and just choose not to, because (usually) it doesn't involve mark, or mark and helly.

also, i'm just gonna say it, i feel like the writing for the women this season all was kinda bad! it's, again, a byproduct of the world revolving around mark now. reghabi is brought into the story when mark needs her, and cast aside when he doesn't want her anymore. devon has been completely reduced to mark's lackey, like i guess ricken and the baby are fucking fine or whatever??? because she only exists when mark is around, and her only job is caring about mark (which obviously yes, they're siblings, of course they care—but s1 devon had a life outside of mark as well). cobel is only brought back into the story to explain to mark how cold harbor works. i said this before but honestly i like the concept of her little solo episode, though the execution wasn't great, because at least she was doing something on her own (except for when she needs that guy to help her. heaven forbid a woman does something of her own accord without a man to help). and again, helly is completely flanderized to be mark's love interest. i think there's a way to have mark and helly be together and them be their own people, but for the length of the season they did not have the proper time to unpack all the shit from the ORTBO episode so everyone just…conveniently gets over it very quickly, like in the span of a day. like i do think it's a jump to go from "i don't trust you, are you even you?" to missionary under plastic tarps that quickly, i'm sorry. and i think even gemma suffers from this fate as well. i think with hers it makes more sense, like she fucking loves her husband, but i wish she was given opportunities to like…want things for herself, too. like she hasn't been outside in two years! i bet she misses her job, her students, her family, devon, ricken, like anyone outside of mark? but she has to be the tragic love interest that can't be with mark but can't run away from mark, either. she's reduced to set dressing for mark and helly by the end.

they constructed this season i think, with the hopes and knowledge that they'll likely get a season 3. which yes, we know now that it's been confirmed and approved or whatever, but they didn't know that when making season 2, and it feels like no one got a full character arc. it's all start and no follow through. we've had the same "mr. milchick experiences racism in the workplace" moment like what, five, six times, and yet we haven't even started to see him DO something about it yet? like sure he told mr. drummond to eat shit, but then to play along with the minstrel show cold harbor shit, they just didn't care about giving that plot line any action so it'll just get brushed along to season 3. (and while there's intentional commentary about race in the show, it also feels like there's unintentional consequences to their writing choices that upholds the whiteness. like, natalie is just forgotten about, reghabi is dropped as soon as mark doesn't want to play with her anymore, ms. huang barely gets to do anything before being written off and sent away, and yes, i do think having gemma suffer as mark and helly skip away is part of it. it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, sorry!). i think dylan is maybe the closest we get to an interesting arc, and i enjoy the inclusion of his wife, but even he's reduced to JUST this story, only getting to talk to mark or helly when the writers need him to, i guess. and the stuff with burt and fields is so nothing, like it feels like it should be going somewhere but they're just leaving it open for season 3 (i guess??? even though it seems like irving isn't going to be in it at all, so why would we be following burt and fields??? and also don't even get me started on how the outie irving stuff is just NOT EXPLORED AT ALL. like whatever sure who the hell cares, sorry for wanting to see that go somewhere or whatever).

it's too early for full reintegration to happen so, we'll just finish that in season 3. (then why introduce it so early in season 2? ohhh right, we need cliffhangers to end every episode on). it almost feels like they don't have faith that people will keep watching without introducing these dramatic moments, but it's all just gasps of breath, there's no actual momentum. like, i've already watched the first season, you don't need to bait me with the prospect of seeing meaningful progression and then take it away from me when the next episode starts. the structure of how episodes speak to each other is that they…don't? like obviously i don't need every episode to pick up on the exact moment the last left off, but the timeline of this season is just soooo strange. the first two episodes are in the same span of time, and then there's gemma and cobel's episodes back to back…it genuinely just feels like they didn't consider the season as a whole which, considering how much money and time it took to make it happen, makes no sense.

and to continue on the timeline aspect, it feels so confusing as to how much time has really passed. it feels like the wanted the structure of the first season, but the pacing mechanic of the first season (working up to the end of the quarter to get to the waffle party) makes the pacing of the second feel even worse. like a.) mark's completed like 3 files a quarter (if we assume he's worked there for 8 quarters, i.e. two years), so making THIS file the super special final one truncates the possible time by at least a third.but then also, b.) he's been at like 95% complete since like, episode 5..? again, i just think it should've been considered more during the planning stages. and it kind of boggles my mind that the creative team views the marching band in this finale to be analogous to the waffle party in s1 when, it's way closer to the music dance experience? (they said this in the like behind the scenes for the finale ep). and in that regard, it really does kind of feel like a retread that doesn't work as well because, again, it's all about mark! especially after the shit with the kier statue, why would mr. milchick play along with the song and dance, like it just feels like they wanted to use tramell tillman's dance experience again, and they wanted to use the colored lights again. he could've just stood by the door to make sure mark and helly stayed there, which was obviously the goal of having all those people there. and yeah, i get the work is mysterious and important or whatever, but the implication that they have ALL OF THESE PEOPLE whos sole job is to be a marching band makes no fucking sense, i'm sorry. i find it hard to play along with the worldbuilding, again it makes lumon seem like its run by like dr. doofenshmirtz or something, it's so cartoony. like are they a global and successful company, or are they incompetent and leave gaping holes for their employees to undo everything? this is THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY IN LUMON HISTORY and they couldn't…shut the door to MDR like they had before? the goat sacrifice room is directly outside the exports hall door? the music dance experience works so well as a catharsis moment because everyone has their own shit going on, and we get to see the guy who hasn't really disobeyed yet (dylan) finally snap, and we see the others come and support him as a TEAM. it's just spectacle for us, the viewer. and especially the thing where they make the panels with mark's face on it—HE CAN'T SEE IT???? i don't need fan service winking moments like that, i dunno, that just annoyed me lol.

anyway, i feel like i have more to say probably but i gotta go do things so, i'm gonna leave it here. in conclusion, i'm missing my friends from s1 MDR sooo so bad, i feel like i haven't seen them this season at all. i did like parts of this season, but overall it was not what i was hoping it would be. (i don't even really KNOW what i wanted it to be, and of course it doesn't matter what i "want," but i feel like what i "want" lined up with what they wanted to do explore with season 1 so…maybe that's where the dissonance is coming from). and whereas at the end of s1, where i left it being like "where are they going to go from here?? (as in, theres so many possibilities", this season finale has left me asking "…where are we gonna go from here?" because i'm left like, inherently incurious about the people we have left and the choices they've made. and, i feel like THEY (as in the executive team making it) must feel this way too, because apparently they've completely scrapped the writers room from this season and added on two new showrunners. good luck to whoever that executive story editor is LOL

[itsnesss]

hii !! hru <3 love love ur acc !! i saw ur rq are open and im curious on how do u think ollie would be if he gets caught w his partner out or something since hes pretty priv or how would he introduce them to the paddock for the first time 😋😋

been eating up everything u write abt him btw ur writing on bearnelli always makes me giggle bc its so fluffy 😭😭 💗

𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 | ollie bearman × fem!reader

summary | you go out with ollie in monaco and get caught by the media. he’s uneasy but doesn’t hide you, he brings you to the paddock at silverstone

warnings | fluff, light media attention/paparazzi, public outing anxiety (mild)

word count | 0.8 k

🖇 more ob87 🖇 f1 masterlist

It was almost routine. When the calendar showed Monaco, you knew exactly which suitcase to pack: a mix of comfortable clothes for staying at Ollie’s apartment and a couple of cute outfits "just in case," even though you both knew you wouldn’t be going out much.

Ollie was reserved. Not because he was embarrassed of you on the contrary, he looked at you like you were a shooting star caught between his fingers but in his world, everything became news, and he wanted to protect what you had.

So for now, his Instagram stories were careful, and the little notes you slipped into his lunches stayed just between the two of you.

That weekend, however, something changed.

“Do you want to go for a walk? Nothing crazy. Just… you and me. Like normal people.”

The offer surprised you, coming from him. But you said yes, because how do you say no to Ollie when he looks at you with that mix of nervousness and adoration?

And it was perfect. Until it wasn’t.

On a little street between cafés, while he offered you an ice cream and you tucked a rebellious strand of his fringe behind his ear, you heard the click of a camera. Then another. Then many more.

“Ollie, is that your girlfriend?”

“Are you guys dating?”

“Smile for the photo!”

Ollie reacted instantly, his arm wrapping around your waist like he could hide you inside his jacket. He said nothing. Just looked down and guided you back to the apartment, never letting go of your hand for a second.

Once inside, the silence was long. He collapsed on the sofa, frustrated.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t what I wanted for you. Not like this.”

But you sat next to him, cupped his face in your hands, and smiled.

“Ollie… if this is the worst that can happen, I think it’s a good problem.”

He laughed, quietly. Then kissed your forehead and murmured:

“You’ve got me so screwed.”

And for the first time, without thinking twice, he posted a photo of you two. You couldn’t see your faces, but your legs crossed over his, the half-eaten ice cream in his hand, and the caption:

“best day.”

It wasn’t an announcement, but it was enough.

From that unexpected outing in Monaco, the whole paddock started to suspect. Ollie didn’t confirm anything, but just seeing him get out of the car and check his phone before anything else was telling. That kind of thing didn’t go unnoticed among drivers.

Toto greeted him with a raised eyebrow. Charles and Lando watched from afar with “we know” looks. Even his engineer casually said, “You’ve been smiling a lot lately, Bearman,” while handing him the helmet.

And then came Silverstone. His home race.

And you, for the first time.

“I know it’s chaos, but I want you to see this. What I am when I’m not with you.”

That’s what he told you the night before, when he handed you the pass with your name on it. His voice had that mix of excitement and nerves he rarely let out.

He took you early, when everything was quieter. You wore his jacket, still smelling like him, and a smile you tried to hold back. But as soon as you crossed the hospitality entrance, all eyes turned.

“Is that his girlfriend?”

“The girl from the ice cream in Monaco?”

“The one nobody has tagged yet?”

Ollie said nothing. He took your hand firmly and greeted the few people you passed. You just squeezed his fingers to say “it’s okay.”

At McLaren, Oscar was the first to come over.

“So you’re the famous one.”

“I’m not famous…”

“You will be. He won’t keep quiet.”

Ollie shoved him playfully, but couldn’t stop laughing.

You stayed near the garage while he went to briefing. It was incredible to see everything so close, mechanics running, engineers talking in codes, screens full of data. But it was also his world. And for the first time, you were inside it.

When he came back from his first practice, tousled and full of adrenaline, he looked for you in the crowd without even taking off his helmet. As soon as he saw you, he smiled. You moved closer and he lowered the visor.

“Did you see it?”

“Of course.”

“Did you like it?”

“A lot. But I like you more.”

He laughed softly, eyes sparkling.

And for the first time, without worrying who was watching, he kissed your forehead in front of everyone.

That day, the official F1 account posted a photo of him getting out of the car with the caption:

“Bearman, unstoppable at home 🇬🇧”

But the detail everyone noticed was in the background.

You, standing at the edge of the garage.

Wearing his jacket.

And that look of pride only you gave him.

[kings-highway]

more airport headcanons bc Im in an airport again. A handful of mild implied ships you know the drill

- Kageyama cannot figure out where his gate is, ever. It doesnt matter if he's in a little domestic terminal or a big international one. He'll just be spinning in circles, confused.

- Tsukishima absolutely fucking hates slow walkers and will go from zero to a hundred on his frustration scale trying to get down a hallway where he needs to go.

- Daichi trying to explain to Suga that the airport has a shuttle between parking and the terminal over and over and over again and Suga continuously going "but we're parking so far away 🥺" and merely not listening to him.

- Absolutely lost as fuck Atsumu and Osamu checked out while they were on the shuttle and now they are in an entirely different terminal than they wanted to be.

- Sakusa gets up and moves every time someone sits near him and eventually just ends up standing in front of whoever he's traveling with.

- Daichi and Suga are sitting in an airport food court eating a nice, leisurely dinner before a long flight simultaneously to Noya and Asahi sprinting through trying to find where the fuck they're going.

- Tendou compulsively makes terrible, inappropriate jokes to the security team and then they have to search his bags. He always realizes what he's done a second too late and sighs at his own behaviour and just starts walking over to the pat down spot without being told

- Kita experiences flight anxiety and has a fear of flying, but specifically a fear of turbulence, because unlike everything else in his life, there is literally nothing he can do to prevent this plane from crashing. Cant just... Practice and get better. He has to trust the pilots done that enough. And he doesn't trust the pilot.

- connecting to the above Aran and Kita flew together before they got together and Kita held his hand so tightly the entire take-off and landing and he thought it was adorable.

- Hoshiumi threatens out loud to throw babies off planes when they start crying and his friends have to beg him to stop speaking so loudly

- Ukai and Takeda tried to fly together once and during a layover accidentally entered the country illegally by accidentally going through a staff only gate and ended up outside and had to try and reenter the airport and Takeda was having an anxiety attack the whole time thinking they were going to jail and Ukai could not stop laughing

- Ushijima helps everyone on the plane put their stuff up into overhead bins and take it down not because he wants to but because people look lost and the bags look heavy and he assumes he has to. The flight attendants have to tell him to stop and that they'll do that

- sorry to say it but Tanaka starts lining up before his section is called and Kiyoko thinks its so embarassing

- Hinata and Kageyama once missed a flight despite getting there 2 hours early because they got so engrossed in fighting with each other they didn't hear the announcer for 30 whole minutes

- all of the Karasuno team will make Daichi talk to the airport attendants if there is any issue. Lost bag, gate issue, whatever, they get all sweet and ask if he could. Ppllleeeeaaasssse go ask? He does, every time. Staff in airports love him for some reason.

- when he's traveling alone Oikawa will send pictures from around the airport to Iwa to review them and rank against other airports. He's a very mean critic.

- Yachi took one short domestic flight one and had a repeating nightmare of a plane crash for months before and afterwards

Okay thats all the time I had thank you for listening

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

nsfw idea😙 tangerine sees reader in the bath using the shower head……

dude ive had this idea and wanted to write this for so long !! thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌 as im about to post this, JUST saw there’s a tangerine in front of the candle on the left ??!? how fitting

HELPING HAND

tangerine x female reader

word count. 819

warnings. 18+ only!! shower head as stimulation, tan helps bc he’s so bf, light choking (just throat holding) he can’t help himself and finishes in his boxers🫠 mdni

You were in the bath, one leg hooked over the top of the tub, the other bent at the knee, hand in between gripping onto the shower head - directing the water at that sensitive, little, sweet spot.

You've been at it for a little while now, growing more and more frustrated at the constant growing and disappearance of your orgasm. Your forearm was beginning to ache, and your knee started to seize up - like everything in your body was telling you to stop, but you were finally starting to feel something - it was starting to feel good again. That was all until your hand moved so so slightly, knocking the water flow away from your needy clit. 

There's a faint knock at the bathroom door, Tangerine on the other side growing concerned at your unusually long shower.

"Darlin'? Ya'right?"

You clear your throat, propping yourself up slightly. "Yeah," you reply, though it doesn't sound as you planned - it comes out more whiney, frustrated.

"Don't sound it," he dismisses, tapping at the handle. "Can I come in? Need'ta get my deodorant."

You hesitate, looking down at yourself - laying in an empty bath, shower head hitting between your thighs. It wasn't hard to figure out what you were doing. 

"Nothin' I ain't seen before," he says, his words trailing to a halt when he sees the lewd image of you in front of him. "Fuck."

Immediately, you grow embarrassed - almost ashamed at the vulnerable and compromising he caught you in. You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out. Instead, you just duck lower into the tub, like you were hiding - trying to shield yourself from his intense gaze.

He makes his way closer, stilling once your whole frame is in view again.

"Don't stop on my account," he murmurs, his voice losing its usual tone of conviction - growing hoarse at the sight of you. "Keep goin', love."

You meet his eye line, watching how quickly they flicker over you, like they were overwhelmed by the view - raking over your wet, quivering body. You hold his gaze as he lowers to the floor, kneeling beside you in the tub. 

He extends an arm towards you, hand reaching for your face. He brushes his thumb over your bottom lip, swiping over the flesh - focusing on you with half-lidded eyes. "Want me to help?"

You eagerly nod your head, immediately agreeing. You were far too frustrated to turn down his offer, so you submit, passing him the showerhead. 

He situates himself on the side of the tub facing you, one hand lightly holding the base of your throat, the other between your thighs, angling the water at your clit.

You instantly cry out at the contact, already feeling more than you have for the last thirty minutes. It felt so much better with Tan's help, his grounding palm on your damp skin, and his other continuing to hit the water at that little, swollen nub ever so perfectly. 

Your eyes screwed shut, but he remained focused on you - eyes drifting to your heaving chest, over to your hand clutching at the side of the tub, back down to your thighs where they started to shudder; everything was just so erotic, unlike anything he had ever seen before. 

"It's right there, right there— please don't move. I feel it again. There— god," you mindlessly mutter, cutting yourself off with a staggered breath.

"I won't, darlin'," he whispers, sharply inhaling when he feels the impossible strain in his boxers - his cock begging to be touched. "I won't."

You focus on the airy feeling in your lower tummy, concentrating on that fuzzy sensation spread further as you approach your ever-lasting buildup. 

You cry out, harshly moaning as you reach your intense high - chest heaving, stomach jittering, thighs clamping together as you attempt to rid his hand. 

"Jus'a bit more," he murmurs. "That's it."

You're a jolting, spasming mess, mewling out against the almost overstimulating feeling, swatting his hand away. "No more, no more," you breathe out, slumping into the tub in a state of near-exhaustion. "I— fuck."

He softly groans, feeling the head of his cock twitch against the fabric, twinging as he coats the inside of his boxers in a layer of warm cum. 

Only this time, it was you watching him - gawking at the way he came untouched, purely by the sight of you.

"Did—" you start, eyes wide as you peer up at him. "That was the hottest thing I have ever seen."

He exhales, cheeks faintly flush as he stands. "Couldn't help it," he breathes, raking through his curls. He picks up his deodorant from the side and turns to face you, a soft smile spreading as he reaches for the door handle. "You're the only girl that's made me jizz my pants like that."

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

no taglist as don't want to spam

[baekhyunsbestie]

how do u think the exos react to their partner having trouble cumming (anorgasmia)? been dealing w smthn like it a lot lately and its kinda getting me down :/

omg baby first of all, i just wanna say im really sorry ur dealing with that. that shit is frustrating as HELLLL and it’s completely valid to feel down about it. but i PROMISE you, it doesn’t make you broken. and it deffo doesn’t mean u can’t still have a fulfilling and pleasurable sex life or that you'll never b able to c*m again. you deserve patience, love n pleasure!!!! whether that takes time or not 🥹🙂‍↕️😚💗💓🩷💓💞💓💘💖💘💖💗🩷💖💓💖💘

nowwww, onto how i think the exos would react:

⟢ jongin

his first instinct is comfort. he holds you close, strokes your hair, and whispers, “you know this doesn’t change anything, right?” he’s always been intuitive, especially when it comes to you, so he knows when you’re spiraling—knows exactly when to slow down and just be with you. he doesn’t let you get stuck in frustration, doesn’t let you turn this into something that defines your intimacy. instead, he makes it about connection—draws things out, focuses on sensation, makes sure you’re feeling every touch, every kiss. “we’ll take our time, yeah? no pressure. just us.”

⟢ chanyeol

he takes it personally at first—not in an ego way, but in a why can’t i fix this for you? way. he’s a giver, and it messes with him that you’re struggling to reach that high when all he wants is to make you feel good. but once he realizes it’s not something that can be “fixed” overnight, he shifts into the most loving, patient version of himself. he keeps it light, keeps the mood soft and warm. “baby, i don’t care how long it takes, or if it happens at all. i just wanna make you feel good. lemme do that for you.” and he means it.

⟢ sehun

at first, he’s a lil lost. he's definitely not upset or anything, he just doesn’t wanna say the wrong thing. he just knows he doesn’t want you feeling like this. so instead of talking too much, he just shows you—goes out of his way to make sure you feel desired, feel loved. he touches you like you’re the most precious thing in the world, kisses you until you forget why you were even worried. and when you do start to get frustrated, he tugs you into his arms and mutters, “don’t stress, baby. we got all the time in the world.”

⟢ kyungsoo

kyungsoo is so deeply understanding. he sees the way it’s weighing on you, the way you’re retreating into your own head and he shuts that shit down immediately. he cups your face, kisses you slow and says, “stop overthinking. i love touching you. i love being with you. that’s enough.” and he makes sure you feel it—that your pleasure isn’t a checklist, that there’s no pressure, no rush. his focus shifts entirely to what makes you feel good in the moment, and he reminds you, over and over, that you don’t have to force anything.

⟢ junmyeon

his first instinct is research. he’s quietly googling ways to help, reading medical articles and forum threads late into the night bc if there’s something he can do, he’s gonna find it. but more than that, he just wants you to feel safe. he makes it clear that your pleasure isn’t about some end goal, that your body isn’t a machine that has to function a certain way to be valid. he slows everything down, focuses on sensation, on connection. “tell me what feels good,” he murmurs against your skin, hands reverent as if he’s learning you all over again.

⟢ baekhyun

he notices every lil shift in your mood, every hint of frustration, and he’s quick to tease it away—not to make light of it, but to keep you from getting stuck in your head. “baby, do you really think i’m gonna let you stress over this? as if i don’t just love touching you?” he makes it playful, worships every sigh, every twitch, every moment of pleasure. and if you get frustrated? he pulls you into his arms, nuzzles into your neck, murmurs soft, affectionate nonsense until you melt. bc to him, the most important thing is that you enjoy yourself, even if that looks different than expected.

⟢ minseok

he’s all patience, all understanding, all soft murmured reassurances. he doesn’t let you spiral into self blame, gently reminding you that pleasure isn’t just about the end goal, that he’s here to make you feel good however he can. he’ll take his time exploring what works for you, reading your body like it’s scripture, but never pushing—never making you feel like you're a problem to be solved. when you start to get frustrated, he grounds you with his touch, lips at your ear whispering, “baby, you don’t have to force it. just let yourself feel.”

⟢ yixing

his first reaction is concern—not bc he’s disappointed, but bc he hates seeing you struggle with something that’s supposed to bring you joy. he sits you down, wraps his arms around you, and gently asks, “do ya wanna talk about it?” he wants to know what’s going on in your head, whether it’s stress, anxiety, something physical. he reassures you in that steady, unshakable way of his: “there’s no rush. we’ll figure this out together.” and when he touches you, it’s slow, intentional—focused entirely on what feels good to you, no pressure, no expectations.

[blueberrybeomgyu]

hihi berry :333 i have finally come to tell u about my maso sub taesan thoughts 🤫

im thinking overstimulating him until it hurts, but not only just through multiple orgasms but also stimulating him in different ways all at once. keeping a vibrator stuck to his leaky aching cock while you sit on his thighs, running your sharp nails down his skin hard enough to draw blood, maybe clamping his nipples and pulling at them. pinching his tummy and his thighs, yanking at his hair — when his head is pulled back like that you slap him till his cheeks are red and he’s drooling under you, skin tingling.

i think hed be a little bratty, a little mouthy just to get you to hurt him more. wants your slaps and degrading words to be genuine instead of you just doing it because he likes it. tie him up with rope instead of handcuffs so its rougher on his skin so he can’t squirm too much, and maybe shove a gag in his mouth or tape it shut, loves the feeling of you ripping the tape off <3

get one of those mini floggers even (the tiny whips that are stringy, idk how to explain them) and drag it across his skin before striking him with it, around his collarbones, nipples, stomach, his cock, and his thighs. he lovesss when you use it on his cock, it just hurts so good and he cant control the way his body jerks every time the leather makes contact with his most sensitive parts. pinch his thighs and coo at him while he just looks so pathetic under you, he camt do anything but take everything you do to him but he wouldn’t have it any other way !!

okay i got carried away… but im very serious ab this topic so i hope u fw it heavy <33 - 🥝🩷

MY KIWI GIRL 😣😣😣😣 u know wtf im talking about!!! let me think about how to make this masterpiece any better (impossible) small text cause there's a lot to say

taesan lovesloveslovesss when it feels like there's too much to focus on, he can't be too in his head about anything and will finally have a clear mind where he can just focus on you and how you make him feel.

he's already so sensitive cause of the vibrator, and he's trying to tune in on that feeling to calm down a little, but then you run your nails over his tummy or tug on the nipple clamps and there's too much calling for his attention, it feels like there's something happening on every area of his body and it's so overwhelming, when you slap his cheek he's shuddering through a sob and another orgasm, helpless to hold back his pitiful noises, he'll sound so whiny and pathetic in a way that has him humiliated when the scene is over

thinking of taesan and vibrators always makes me think of bunny's taesan a-z, vibrators on him are the best way to overstimulate him, i think he lasts pretty long typically but with vibrators, it's like he can barely think before he's cumming and he loves that, he also loves that you keep pulling orgasms out of him despite him begging you to stop, the lack of control is a little frustrating and that only makes it better for him -- that no matter what he says, he's powerless in this situation

he lovess being slapped and when you introduce floggers he's so turned on by the idea, he's a little impatient as you trail the flogger across his skin, he just wants to get on with it, but the built up tension only makes it better when you actually strike him with it, blindfold him and he has no idea where or when you're going to strike him next, trying so hard to tell where you are based on your condescending words

i love bratty taesan, he's not necessarily a mean boy but he'll say things like is that all? this is nothing, even when he's so sensitive and spent, he's finding a way to mouth off bc if he can form words it's not enough, he needs to feel so ruined and helpless that he can barely think, can barely defend himself when you insult him

i think sensory deprivation is a big yes for taesan, and overstimulating the senses he does have, make him wear noise canceling headphones, plug his mouth, blindfold him, and it's all the better when you press a vibrator to his tip and jerk him off, he has no idea what he sounds like so he can't hold back his muffled whines, he's hyper focused on the scent of your perfume clung to the sheets, and his fists are clenching and unclenching around nothing where they're bound by the ropes, can't use his hands to clean up the spit dribbling down his chin, he's so beautiful like that

i think he's mostly a whimperer/panter and his voice can get all soft and breathy, wincing when you peel the tape off of his mouth to ask him what he's so noisy for, and by the time you finally sink down on his cock, he can barely do anything but look up at you with shiny eyes, nodding along when you call him a slut or acknowledge that he'll let you do anything to him as long as he gets to bleed for you

[justbelievinginmagic]

ariadne's thread chapter 14 sneak peek! (bc im stuck at a boring bit and i just wanna write hyunjin x reader!!) if you havent read any of ariadne's thread before you can start here!

“You're here."

Hyunjin's voice was torn between despair and admiration. The crestfallen smile that crossed over his face disappeared with a flash of lightning to reveal the glowering gaze that consumed him once more. It was almost like he was untethered, vibrating between emotions like an electric wire. Flip-floping between rage and acceptance.

The Runner took a step forward and there was a rumble in the strange ethereal room like thunder. He took a step back for the first time.

“Beware, Y/N.”

The word was deep and inhuman from his lips. Like a wolf cornered, he bared his teeth in a facsimile of a smile.

“I have been generous up ‘til now. I can be cruel,” Hyunjin warned.

Once upon a few hours ago, that threat would’ve been fear-inducing. Now, she simply scoffed.

“Generous?” the Labyrinth-Runner repeated, almost laughing.

Like a movie reel, moments of her journey flashed through her mind. Being dropped into an endless labyrinth, walking for hours on aching feet, falling, tumbling, bleeding, being chased, being taunted, being trapped, being torn through space and time.

“What have you done that’s generous?” she asked.

“Everything,” the King claimed, taking an insistent, desperate step towards her. His fingers outstretched as if to touch her. He trembled with some sort of emotion she couldn't place.

Y/N did not shudder like she once did as he crowded closer.

“Everything you wanted I have done,” his hands did cup her cheeks now - with ferocity. He directed her eyes met his. Deep and dark, he swore her eyes were almost as dark as the infinite of the magic around them. “You asked to be stolen away, I took you. You cowered before me; I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it. All. For. You.”

The smell of smoke danced in the air; it was fire-smoke with a hint of honeysuckle illusion. The world about them shuddered and shifted with his emotions like an old glitching, fizzing television set. An undulating creature, alive. Part of him. Or perhaps he was part of it.

“I am exhausted living up to your expectations,” Hyunjin murmured.

His voice was gentle now, lacking the frustration and disdain it previously held. His head lulled forward, and she was reminded of her peach-induced fantasy. His gentleness mixed with his cruelty always gave her whiplash even now. His long hair brushed her cheek with a knife’s gentleness. His forehead pressed against hers for the barest of moments. Icy cold skin sizzled against her warmth. His eyes fell shut, and he shuddered quietly.

“Isn’t that generous?” he breathed out with a soft, disbelieving laugh.

“What more can I do?” he whimpered, his fingers tightened on her temples as he threaded through her hair distressed. He didnt tug or pull... yet. “Please, Y/N. Tell me.”

It was strange to see him jump from threats to begs. It would’ve confused her before. But here, before him, she felt different. It wasn’t as frightful. He wasn’t all that powerful she realized. Everything he’s thrown at her, she’s been able to face. By herself or with her friends. Her friends who were nearby, always with her even if they were far away.

When she didn’t say anything, Hyunjin sucked in a breath through bared fangs.

“You are cruel, YN,” he hissed.

It wasn’t a scold. It was almost pained. He turned away from her, pulling away from her skin. It felt like honey clung to his bare hands. He clenched and unclenched his fingers. He moved, circling her despite his gaze flickering around the strange room. His footsteps lingered in the air, almost palpable as he stalked her. Like a wolf, circling its prey.

But she refused to be something so weak. Her feet began to mimic; her steps echoed his until she was nearly one step ahead of his pace, walking with him in circles.

His gaze flickered to her sneakers… sneakers! It made a mad sort of laugh bubble up in his chest. A random human had made it here in tennis shoes. A dumb, useless hu- No… no… she wasn’t-

He couldn't even finish his thought - it was such a lie.

“We are well matched.” He almost giggled.

His hands, bare of any gems or metallic jewelry, tugged at his darkened locks, pulling at them as if that’d help him think clearer. He couldn’t think around her anymore, consumed by the anxiety, the whirl, the heart pulsing, head rushing energy that pushed through him like a hurricane.

“You and I… I need your cruelty,” he admitted, glancing her way. His eyes gleamed like golden sunlit seas, shimmering inhumanely. “Just as you need mine. I can endure, Y/N. What do you need from me?”

“I don’t need you.” She said, looking at him solidly.

It wasn’t a lie. They couldn’t lie after all.

His mouth didnt move and yet Hyunjin’s laughter sounded all around her. Damp and watery like it was echoing in a inlet of an ocean cave.

“You’re acting like… like you’ve won,” he lamented, facing away from her. The room vibrated and undulated like a beating heart.

“I am here,” she simply said.

“You understand nothing,”  Hyunjin bit out, turning to look at her. “You have answered none of the Labyrinth’s riddles. You don’t even know what the questions were!”

He sounded like a child now. Her head tilted.

“That wasn’t our bargain, now… was it?” she asked....

[elainsgirl]

why do people deny what elriel has? It baffles me that people actually try to make their scenes they have together into something else and saying its not romantic. we elriel's get called delusional for believing our couple could be endgame even when they have multiple scenes together that backs up our opinions and not one bonus scene that people just nitpicked and did everything they could possibly do to see if their ship could be endgame?!?

sorry, but, no. Im going to keep believing in elriel because I actually read the books and I don't just stick to a bonus chapter and believe a ship could possibly be endgame. thats like with cassian and emerie, when people thought they would end up together, and guess what? they didnt! like we are going down the same road again people!

Also. The fact that people are trying to make gwyn into a main character is laughable. why can't we see that she's just a side character with potential? why are people trying to replace elain with her??? "rhys will love gwyn and be besties" "auntie gwyn" "gwyn will be the savior". im actually sick and tired of acting like I actually cared about gwyn (I liked her character obviously) but she was just there to me, just like emerie. This fandom is just something else.

Hey Anon, I hope you’re having a great day 🫶

I totally get the frustration & annoyance, trust me, it gives you a headache trying to wrap your head around how people are genuinely doubting elriel over a ship that doesn’t even have any romantic scenes. I mean, elriel - a couple which goes back 3-4 books, is genuinely being rivaled with Gwynriel? Two characters that canonically don’t even want each other? They’re being so forecefully shipped over the silliest things. “Gwyn glanced at Azriel in Ch43? Omg its soooo clear she has feelings for him 🤭”

“Did you notice the way Azriel half turned when Gwyn squeaked? AHHHH HE LITERALLY CAN’T HELP NOTICING HER ITS SOOO ROMANTIC!”

Yet when it comes to elriel?

“Elain blushed bcs Az smiled at her? Pffft Sjm was just trying to show us how uncomfortable and awkward Azriel makes Elain” (no joke this was something an anti actually argued once)

You know what happened w that bonus chapter? It was over-exaggerated and over-romanticised.

Imagine this. You absolutely hate elriel and when you first read the bonus, your worst nightmares have come true. Azriel is in fact wanting Elain. There is a mutual attraction and want between them. Your hope that Elain secretly wanted Lucien has gone up in flames or the hope that Azriel didn’t actually want the blandest character in the series has also gone up in flames. Your distraught. Disappointed but then comes along another fmc in the bonus. A female character you actually like, over elain. Ofc you’re going to use that as a way to ship her w Az instead of accepting the obvious. Elain & Az are endgame. Poor Gwyn is simply a self-insert as well as the “better” option for Azriel as she is more widely liked. Her whole interaction w Azriel has been so inflated that when you look at it with unbiased lens, you just find it silly.

How many times have we been told that the shadows love gwyn? That they’re so playful with her? That they performed an entire salsa with Gwyn? Going off this alone, it seems so romantic right? Yet when you actually read the scene,

“Her breath curled in front of her mouth, one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. As thought it had heard some silent music”

How disappointing is that scene compared to the way Gwynriels promote it? The shadows aren’t given any emotions. There is no way to tell they’re being playful. Its not even plural, it was one shadow that danced with gwyns breath. It can’t just be me finding this so unbelievably plain.

Then you get told by gwynriels that Gwyn and Az bantered! They had a simple conversation in which Gwyn herself couldnt care less + Azriel actively was trying to be polite. “Gwyn allows Az to open up so much! We find out he sings” im being honest- if you made it this far not knowing Azriel is a singer despite it being in the literal name, shadowsinger, thats just you being odd. Can’t forget the kicker - “The image sparkkng in his chest, where it glowed quietly”.

But you know what? This could have just been an amusing crackship. Yet, its when antis come for elriel with their stupid takes that get you annoyed especially when its just mischaracterising Elain and Az purposely. THAT becomes bothersome. EL and GA stans have turned Azriel into a toxic, possessive incel that needs to be isolated in therapy away from all women - excluding Gwyn, ofc, gwynnie is the ONLY one that can help him through his disturbing issues bcs Gwynnie is just the best. She will make him realise how foolish he was being over Elain. How his feelings - Az questioning his belief, religion and system, being ready to fight a BD for her, wanting to beg on his knees for Elain were simply a front bcs he didn’t want to admit he’s falling in love w his little gwynnie poo.

Elain? She’s just confused. She doesn’t know what she wants. She’s in denial, Elain can’t handle how badly she wants Lucien, she’s trying to push it all down. You know whats the funniest? Eluciens yap day and night about how toxic Az & the IC are for infantilizing Elain yet the little hypocrites do the exact same thing when it comes to Elains character. Or they apparently need her pov to know how she truly feels about Lucien bcs Elain losing her boldness and saying verbally - she doesn’t want a mate, is not enough.

. They have to make elriel toxic bcs thats the only way their ships can happen. Its not possible otherwise.

As you said, elriels dont need the bonus. The ship is more then canon within the books, the bonus simply gives more insight into Azriels character in acosf, but gwynriel? The bonus is their entire foundation. Without it they have nothing aside some out of context scenes. For eluciens? They need the bonus to back up their whole “elriel is toxic agenda”.

Keep on shipping elriel, anon. You’re shipping a couple that have had genuine interest in each other, that have had multiple scenes developing them from Azriel figuring out elain is a seer when only her her mate was suppose to figure it out, too Nesta noticing a charged glance. From Azriel staying up late at night talking to Elain too Elain gifting him a personalised headache powder. Elucien & gwynriel have absolutely nothing when compared too elriel. Im sorry, but Az chuckling bcs of Gwyn isn’t compared too when Elain made him laugh so joyously it cleared the shadows from his eyes. Elain, who mentioned nothing when Lucien showed up hurt - went out of her way to make Azriel a headache powder to help him feel better.

people would ship Az with anyone. They’re that desperate for another Li aside from Elain. I can guarantee you, if there was another fmc Az had interacted with, gwynriels would split so damn fast - kind of like what happened when Bryce and Az interacted. Antis were so desperate - they shipped Az and emerie in acofas calling Elriels toxic for not succumbing to the likeliness of that ship. Its a cycle. Fandom hates certain character in a ship, looks for alternative ship, ships them, ship sinks and fails then they have to accept the ship they hated sm. Cycle continues.

Didn’t you know anon? Since Gwyn has a second name and her heritage is known- it immediately means she is now THE most important character especially over Elain. Whose an archeron. The family the spinoffs are about. But that doesn’t matter. Gwyn does not follow the typical fmc pattern sjm has laid out, she isn’t a main character anytime soon. Her stans love saying she is due to her appearance in the bonus but elain also appeared in Azriels AND Feysands bonus. Going by their own logic, Elain is the next fmc. Gwyn was a lovely character in acosf, but she isn’t set to be a main character. Elain was. Gwyn was created for Nesta, she’s Nesta’s bestie. Almost eveything about Gwyn, is linked to Nesta. We have now had Nesta’s story,therefore Gwyn has served her main purpose.

Even gwynriels know that gwyn isn’t an important character as of now bcs she has no ties to the IC. She hasn’t met Feyre, the Main character and sjms biggest voice in the series. Gwyn and Rhys aren’t buddies. He will be a Hl to her. She is simply Nestas friend. Nothing more.

I used to like her character but gwynriels and her stans kept on shoving her down my throat yapping about how awesome & great she is compared to Elain, who was boring. Her stans hated elain so much, bringing her down whilst uplifting Gwyn that I now just can’t stand Gwyn. I haven’t reread acosf bcs I don’t want to go through any gwyn scenes. I dont interact w Gwyn content either. I viewed Gwyn the same way you did. She was a side character to Nestas story. She was great, but didnt stick out to me.

As sad as it sounds, the only reason so many people are obsessed with Gwyn is Bcs they’ve potrayed her as another Li for Azriel. Otherwise, she would have been treated the same way Emerie has been treated. As a side character.

Just to end off: Anon, Gwynriels and Eluciens make themselves look foolish when they claim elriel aren’t romantic or obvious. How am I suppose to take their ships seriously when they can’t even acknowledge elriels’ foreshadowing and romance clearly displayed in the books? If you’re claiming you saw absolutely nothing going on between elriel - but gwynriel were so obvious to you - then thats just embarrassing for you. It’s clear that there’s some denial going on.

[vidyagamereference]

Holy fuck yall i finally finished something

Dating Gepard hc's except theyre not all 100% positive romance tropes [sfw and not sfw]

Anyways back to our regularly scheduled headcanons

He has to learn to ask "do you want solutions or do you want to vent" during your relationship bc he is 100% in "fix the problem" mode 100% of the time

If he gets to a point where he is frustrated and upset he won't cry unless you two intentionally do something to intentionally make him cry.

To achive the above he's open to anything from BDSM to structured arguing to watching pixar. His only requirement is that you be physically with him and hold him when hes ready for it.

I personally headcanon him as being really into BDSM and a switch because he has simultaneously too much control over part of his life and the lives of others and no choice whatsoever because of his name and title and he would love to have just an hour or two where everything goes the way he wants it to wether thats because he needs you to do exactly what he demands or if its because he needs to stop having so many god damn responsibilities and just feel

Hes a good cook but i think he'd prefer to just clean up after you make him something if you cook

Not that hes unwilling to or anything it just feels more special to eat what you make him and he likes to help you out by doing the dishes and cleaning the stove and such

He will cook for you if you ask

Pls ask sometimes it makes him so happy he gets to make you feel as special as him but [leading to my next headcanon]

He sucks at spontaneity and you cannot tell me this man isnt autistic. His ass is Not reading silent/subtle hints so if you wanna be pampered you gotta be blunt and actually ask for it

None of that passive aggressive "if i ask it doesnt count" bullshit you have to be a blunt communicator to date him.

And if you start picking fights he is canonically one of the most stubborn "dig your heels in" "im not compromising" "create a cold war in my own house" kind of people EVER

You ain't winning that standoff

It takes a kind of person who will argue just as stubbornly and come back after and ask to "see where we went wrong" and take accountability for your side of what happened to date him effectively

Frustrating guy

But so so worth it

If he grows flowers successfully even once you can garentee (autocorrect has been no help how fo you spell that?!) A slightly shabby flower or three in a big ribbon and the sweetest smile!

He doesnt take off his shoes OR armor right away when he enters the house because they STINK and he has those disposable baggies that you step in to get to the shower without tracking in all the salt and muddy snow from outside. He needs to get to the soap (for him) and deodorizers (for his shoes and clothes) first

He uses 2 in 1 head n shoulders as facewash, bodywash, shampoo, and conditioner. one stop shopping. And his skin and hair are soft and flawless somehow

His hair is fluffy and cute. Its 100% genetics and 0% effort

I feel it in my bones that he has a slight pooch of belly fat. He has functional muscle not fashion muscle. I know it. Its fact. It would be So Fucking Cute no im not coping with a complete castwide lack of any curves why do you ask?

I think he sleeps like a rotisserie chicken but he needs to hug something to sleep, so he has an Emotional Support Pillow that he brings with him, on duty, at homw, he has His Pillow(tm)

He is the little spoon

He will randomly kiss you when youre alone bc he suddenly remembered "hey i can kiss my partner!!!! :D" and got excited about being your boyfriend/partner

A few rapid fire not sfw headcanons

Hes average size (6.5in) and it curves nicely upwards. The head gets cutely pink when hes hard and it has a beauty mark on the right ridge

Literally loves body worship, would be on either side happily. It gives him a nice feeling of power exchange and fluffy emotional validation feelings all at once

Also loves the pet name "good boy" for the same reason

He *is* good thank you for noticing! And he is a boy who is *also* yours! Correct twice in a row he might just swoon

Cuddle monster. 100% cuddles after are a must

Sometimes cries after. Often actually. And he would feel the need to defend it like he wasnt the worlds no.1 "most unable to express emotions" autistic person getting overwhelmed by All This Intimacy

He's got a thing about smelling his partner. Idk how i just know it. I feel it in my bones. He likes the way they smell and he wants your shirts (for jackoff material) not your nudes (tho pls send those too)

He likes public in theory but would actually die of shame if he ever tried anything where anyone could hear you ot potentially catch you. Its fully Anxiety so bad he couldnt even preform type of shit

If hes domming tonight he wants to tie you up and use you like a toy

If (or how many times) you get off is up to him not you

If hes subbing tonight he wants you to degrade him and make him cry. Then let him pleasure you with "your favorite toy" (his dick) pls he would love it

Petplay. I beleive he would make a great puppyboy and that is the Only justification i have for this

I think he likes asses. Ass man 100%

[florenceisfalling]

just a disclaimer regarding a recent barrage of false accusations with me bc ive decided im tired of not defending myself

my ex has posted a lot of things, these are the ones i can remember (me looking at her blog is bad for the both of us, so im not going to check if i missed anything)

i did not have sex with anybody else

i also did not kiss anybody else, or anything she could have been implying re: any "risk" of illness

i did not get into an argument with her that led to her hospitalization. when speaking to her other partner (the one she called X), she stated that she JUST had a nightmare.

she did not actually attempt, and was not in any physical danger after a small injury; she went to work the next day and didn't get hospitalized until after she talked to an authority about how she worried she MIGHT hurt herself worse. <- not downplaying what actually happened, it was really tough, but she is lying about it

X did not tell her "some" of the truth. they told her everything, and she agreed for months before now.

i did not quote her "asking [me] to stop cheating" as an "unfair request". i quoted her referring to me as the dehumanizing phrase "public property," which was said to me when i was not doing anything romantic or sexual with other people. this was in a song that spoke of her positively, which she openly admitted to misunderstanding once i explained it to her.

i do not owe her money. i offered some to be helpful while we were still aiming for friendship, and i was begging her not to take anything out on X, but she is now calling my loved ones to try to convince them that i have some actual debt to her. X ALSO doesnt owe her money for the trip, because she promised repeatedly while planning process that they would not have to pay her back if they broke up/things went wrong

i did not post anyone in a romantic context other than her. she was told that i did by someone who tried to convince her to cheat on me last year. additionally, when asked to take down the posts, i did, even though they were my friends just doing school stuff

i also did not plan the road trip the way she talks about it. i wanted to visit her as a priority and also visit at least 5 of my friends as a little buddy trip. this didn't actually happen, i just visited her.

once again reiterating: i did not have sex with anybody other than her

i never called her "clocky," she probably assumed this post (and other posts i made about my self-identified "clocky" transfem friends online, who were experiencing harassment post-p.redstrogen situation) was about her somehow. she is not transfem; trying to make transfem bottom surgery experiences or anything else into "experiences [she] had" is disingenuous. she's a femme woman, i validated and argued for her visible and personal femininity; if i failed in some regards, that is my bad. but telling a trans person in a t4t relationship that they need to "get help" because you used to feel jealous about them uplifting tgirls is just transphobic. acting like its a defense of transfems is even worse. and claiming my love for tgirls is solely a sexual, comptop, anti-surgery thing is especially frustrating when she repeatedly failed to accept that i do top and want a phalloplasty.

i never threatened her, nor did i talk about "gathering information on her." all i said was that, in the same way i could tell when her ex was stalking me, i might see if she was block evading me, on a post that she only could have seen if she was block evading me

i didn't publicly air out my side through that song or through vent posts. i haven't taken down any of my vent posts, you can look through them, many of them had nothing to do with her and all of them avoided details.

i also did not orchestrate a fucking drive-by shooting. i never thought i'd have to clarify this . she also presumably doesn't actually believe i did, since she still texts my roommate pictures of squirrels, which isn't "dealing with accomplices to murder schemes" behavior

i did not pressure X into anything, send her messages about how they weren't compatible, convince them of that, or get between them and her. i was the one trying to convince them to go visit her and make the flight, trying to help her out, but they couldn't because they were literally worried sick.

i wasn't even in a real relationship with her when X was supposed to go on that trip; she wanted to split up and even had my number muted but insisted that i still follow "rules" and call her my fiancee until she was ready to let me go

i did not say she "got owned" and my friends did not behave as a public "echochamber"; none of my friends talked with me about it except in private conversations she had no exposure to

i did not treat her like a sexual object. part of the issue with her false accusations about my sex life is that i was so detached from my sexuality from the entirety of spring break until the end of august that i started identifying as ace for a period. during this time, she yelled at me after i was too busy crying to have sex with her. over the summer i started cutting recreationally, but was careful not to do it in a bad mood to avoid habit-forming; during a serious argument she guilt tripped about how i hadn't yet carved her initials into my thigh before i was ready. she unsafely/improperly tried to choke me without discussing it beforehand, admitting that she looked up the right way a while ago but didn't remember. serious mental health struggles for me were reduced to being obstacles for my sexuality. i cannot emphasize enough how objectifying it feels from my end to have a semester of incredibly tough friendship situations boiled down to "oh you must be having sex with other people," followed by constant sexual bids for connection to fix the relationship that often failed to respect notions of enthusiastic consent.

all of the things i did do, are by her own definition, not sex, were equivalent to what she did with her own friends during our relationship, and went completely unaddressed by her anyway, so i am not even going to bother defending myself on those when she'd rather make up new accusations baselessly

in the imaginary world where i did have sex with other people, that does not excuse the cornering me by regularly threatening suicide, the belittling me for not "centering" her on two separate occasions where my friends DID attempt suicide and i was called for help (during one of these situations she vent posted about me not talking to her while i was literally writing statements ordered by campus police), the vivid descriptions to my face of how badly she wanted to physically hurt me and my loved ones, the direct ableism as well as vitriol and unwanted sexual comments towards my alters, the biphobia and transmisogyny rampant in claiming my love for transfems has anything to do with "girlcock," her telling me to my face that me giving her less attention again would be "worse" to her than me dying gruesomely, the sexual harassment she now is doing in the form of posting details and lies about my sex life to her public blogs as revenge, and so on.

lastly, any claims that she has to post publicly to get my attention aren't true. she does still contact me. she unblocked me to send and unsend me messages before.

i'm glad she's trying to live a more fulfilling life now, and i am too; im in therapy, in better communication with family, etc. but things are way out of hand and i cannot keep prioritizing her peace over mine when i am not hers anymore.

this is NOT a callout post, i do not want this to circulate, i do not want anyone to contact her, i want people to have a disclaimer on ME before making assumptions so here it is. anyone i see adding her name to this post, spreading it, sharing it with her, etc is getting blocked immediately. this doesn't even scratch the surface of what went wrong or what happened throughout our relationship, but it at least addresses the immediate accusations. this post is not directed at her, its directed at people who approach me about her, and i have no interest in arguing with her anymore- i want her to be able to move on and be happy, very, very far away from me.

[junnitop]

_https://www.tumblr.com/junnitop/789678776776818688/heyy-im-gonna-vent-a-little-if-thats-okay-ive?source=share

ive been think abt how to respond to this for a while but i might as well do it now bc i have nothing better to do 😭😭 i really appreciate what you said and it made me feel better :) 

UGHHH this is so long holy shit tldr: falling behind by laufey

honestly i can never FULLY get into the mindset of being single forever bc like… idk im obv turned off from it rn bc the options aren’t great and i’m slowly losing hope from everything bad going on rn. but at some point in my life i would like that sort of relationship with someone and get married and stuff. it doesn’t come from a place of feeling the need to be in a relationship just to have someone there, but rather just wanting to have a connection with my person, whoever they are. i have deep bonds in my platonic relationships and i love them so much. but romantic bonds are different and i would just like to experience that for once :( 

i don’t think it comes from a place of jealousy either. like i see happy couples and then i feel happy bc i LIKE love and its cute. i don’t feel the need to change myself to get into a relationship bc i feel pretty confident in my looks. family and friends hype me up so i have to have something, right? i think my main problem is that no one has ever expressed any interest towards me. no approaches, no crushes, no looks, nothing. the only thing REMOTELY close to a look was when our school went to a state event and i was on an escalator with my friends and apparently a guy on the opposite escalator was staring at one of us and said “she’s so fine” to one of his friends and my friend said it was me BUT IT LITERALLY COULDVE BEEN ANYONE THERE WERE LIKE A MILLION PEOPLE AROUND US

i know that this problem could literally be solved by ME making the first move, but every time ive done that ive been rejected lol 😭😭 ive also been told that i dont look approachable so maybe that’s it?? like my current friends that ive gotten closer to over the past year have told me i have an rbf or i dont smile a lot (or ever APPARENTLY). i also dont put myself out there a lot in a romantic sense bc most of my crushes have been a “friends to lovers” type of situation. i’m very in my head and idealistic as you can probably tell and it’s obv adding to my dilemma but idk its like damn im not even a stranger crush 😞😞

ik out of at least 8 billion people on this earth there statistically has to be SOMEONE. and ljke i get it, everyone has their own timeline and i just need to wait bc it “come when i least expect it” idk man i just think romantic relationships are nice BUT I FEEL LIKE I CANT DO ANYTHING BC CANT PULL like my friends tell me that i can SO THEN WJY HASNT IT HAPPENED YET ugh i KNOW i need to be patient and enjoy being single but i’m just sick of hearing that all the time like IT GETS TO A POINT

i dont feel as frustrated with this all the time. like rn i feel absolutely nothing bc im tired. but sometimes it comes up and i kinda spiral abt it (like wjen i wrote that ask) so yeah

u will find ur person and who knows when that will b that’s the beauty of it 💚

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/21/2023

awful lot of cooking content from me, who hates cooking but finds the evenings jittery and boring

listening

Doorbell by Sterling Press, off the spotify weekly recced playlist. i don't know that i like this song. i don't know that it's particularly good. goddamn if it isn't catchy. alt britpop, they hate being compared to blur but mmmm. you do hear it. notes of ska as well. a song to blast in your car when your spring break plans fell through and you're driving to the good target two towns away from your hometown.

i don't think this music video could have existed pre-pandemic-- idk doorbell cams were that ubiquitous or well known, despite heavy advertising from nest.

from an interview:

Speaking about the new release, they said, “We wrote the song in our mates garage using drum samples off YouTube. We spent all night writing it then in the early hours of the morning drove to Maccies to have breakfast and had it on repeat the whole time. We all fell in love with it straight away. These lyrics speak to the importance of authenticity and sincerity in your actions. In a world where appearances and pretences can be misleading, it's a reminder to be true to yourself and to avoid trying to impress others for the sake of it. “I feel like its an experience we all share. We all know someone who goes off to uni or gets a new job and you bump into them on the street and they act as if they have no idea who you are. I guess this song is reflection of our frustrations towards those people.”

they have what i would consider an unusual amount of hype and presence for a band that has exactly three songs out, but they've all been making music together and separately since well before the pandemic so maybe they've just finally broken out? i can't figure out who these kids are related to. i don't think it's a full on industry plant but i do think someone's dad has some money.

a friend once said she hated how eighties songs faded out like a printer running out of ink, and i do not particularly care for how 2020s songs end with the entire band vanishing underwater.

this song is truly not that deep but it is thoroughly stuck in my goddamn head.

listening: special podcast edition

i am not looking for solutions. do not say solutions at me. i am taking through a brain thing and having a weird workflow and brain problem. i have tried other apps with browser support and do not like them, and i cannot have my personal apple id tied to my work computer bc i have and frequently use a work apple id.

i have been listening to podcasts through Spotify ever since mmm november ‘20. it has not been a good experience but juggling the Apple Podcasts app through my phone (distraction minefield) and whatever im listening to or working on with the work computer is a nightmare. ethics of spotify aside, it is a tremendously successful all in one listening platform. i do not have the brainspace to manage my own music library, and support my favorite artists in other ways.

i am not looking for solutions. do not say solutions at me.

however, if you listen to enough podcast episodes, spotify does not seem to believe you when you tell it to unfollow a podcast. it just keeps letting you know hey this has a new episode. this got me stuck on a loop where i was listening to more and more episodes of two very prolific conspiracy theory debunking podcasts to the exclusion of almost everything else. this was not very good for my mental health.

i am not looking for solutions. do not say solutions at me.

despite the real annoyance of finagling a very distracting phone and the work laptop, i have gone back to Apple Podcasts and (after weeding out a variety of podcasts for a variety of reasons) started listening to friends at the table again. not sure why i stopped but i felt a weird amount of guilt around restarting?? the tablefriends neither know nor care. i have finally finished road to palisade and am excited but nervous about starting palisade proper

-

reading

a local religious thrift store has absolutely rancid vibes but does regularly have 6/$1 book sales. there were a couple older trade paperback comics the last time: the first three volumes of ULTIMATE XMEN and a radom What If? superman.

my trouble with the xmen, and i have to read something from it once every two years to remind myself, is that magneto is right. they will never be able to assimilate into white picket fence middle america, or even among the liberal coastal elites or whatever the term du jour was in 1999. the box will always be smaller and you will never be perfect enough. i did not enjoy this enough to continue bc of this fundamental disagreement with most xmen comics.

also it looks like this. magneto’s lair has an arch in the shape of the arch on the front of his helmet and that was pretty baller, but there’s a real. what was they gimmick blog about all the comic book women in contorted spine-breaking poses? it’s like that a lot. WHAT is ororo’s body doing there

-

watching

hey. what the fuck do you mean tomato sauce is that easy. i dislike tomato sauce and almost exclusively eat jar upon jar of aldi brand pesto. im not allergic bc tomatoes aren't tingly but it's just sort of Nothing all the time. what do you mean it can be good???

i don't actually remember why i'm subscribed to mr internet shaquille. perhaps, like so many other food things, it's kali's fault.

-

playing

g/enshinposting.

pulled this horrid little brat. very pleased with myself.

i do not. love. her story quest. it falls into the childrens' media trap of Sometimes It's Okay For Other People To Stomp All Over Your Boundaries If It's For The Good Of The Group! or perhaps this is just a thing i'm particularly twitchy about. either way, annoyed that other characters of this importance have gotten some deeply moving writing and so far furina has...not gotten that.

the next character i am excited about is lolita taylor swift, or geo-aligned lady with big fuckoff sword. from some early maybe-leaks i think she would pair beautifully with my playstyle and my pirate lady with big sword. my playstyle is mostly brute force damage. i hit things as hard as i can until they fall over and i've played the entire game (with some exceptions that required actual thinking about elemental reactions) that way. it pleases me.

re: the conclusion of the annapausis sidequest, genshin does a really good job of teasing out "ok in a world with actual gods, what does spirituality look like/what are the differing views on fate/how do people make sense of an afterlife". mostly this is gnosticism. and sometimes it's a real life occultist secret society (reskinned Rosicrucianism). fascinating writing choices.

-

making

turkey cottage pie with scalloped potatoes, bc i had a five-pound bag of russets that were starting to sprout. im just going to yoink this pic i posted earlier bc it is now half gone and in tupperware form

this is the first time ive ever cooked in a dutch oven and im in love. i thrifted this for $20 some weeks ago but bc the lid has some chips and rust i haven't used it. which is silly, bc the body of the oven is fine. de-rusting and seasoning the lid will wait for a day when i actually need it bc for now we can get by with doubled-over sheet of aluminum foil.

used this recipe: only had a pound of ground turkey and liberally stretched it with potatoes (i think about three and a half pounds out of five) and three pounds out of a cheap frozen veggie mix bag. did not include mushrooms bc i did not like them. threw in some bay leaves bc i have a giant bag of them, i think i almost doubled the wine bc i doubled the recipe, but i do not think i remembered to double the beef stock. i also shook in a liberal amount of italian seasoning bc i have a cheap jar from aldi i want to use up.

the final product was somewhat soupy. i anticipated that slicing the potatoes was going to be the longest part (mostly true, i had to take breaks) and kept them in a big bowl of cold water to stop them browning while i chopped and after i blanched them. i also could have reduced the filling down some more but i am not a patient woman.

not as intended but still yummy, which was a lovely surprise bc usually when i fuck recipes up i fuck them up But Good. plus new technique (dutch oven). if i make this again (likely) i will do instant potatoes on top bc this was a fuck of a lot of chopping for one recipe. thinking about getting one of those stupid little hand smash veggie choppers bc a full food processor is extremely out of budget.

[saetoru]

About that entitled ass post about x reader, op was definitely wrong but a small point was made.

I agree with your response but I'd like to add that, unless you've stated that certain characteristics or features will be present in reader, certain kinds of ambiguity is necessary, especially in appearance.

To make a character completely void of any backstory or personality is just bad writing period but to add an appearance is a little ...

As a black reader, reading about certain things that are supposed to reflect the reader is genuinely disheartening. I'm talking about things like referencing imagery of lighter skin (such as refering to readers skin as pink, pale, creamy, etc) or something like a character running their fingers through the reader's hair or having a hair washing routine that can be done in the time it takes to have a regular shower. I know with people with big bodies, having descriptions of small, light bodies is also disheartening.

Bc, once again, unless it's been stated that those are a part of reader's appearance, it's a little unnecessary bc it shows that although it's x reader it's definitely not for us.

I don't expect writers to write about specific events or characteristics about different cultures and such bc that can also go south REAL quick if you aren't properly educated or aware but a little diversity never hurt anyone

I know that some people do this out of genuine dislike of darker skinned/bigger people but I know most people do it out of genuine ignorance.

Unfortunately, you cannot bring up including people who don't fit typical beauty standards (pale/light skinned, long straight hair, thin/slim bodies) without people telling you that not everyone has to cater to you.

But the thing is, we're not asking you to cater to us; we're just asking you to include us in your vision of reader. You don't need to add specifics of everything regarding different races or cultures but you don't need to add specifics that exclude them.

And then when we go to create our own stories that do envision us, we're met with so much hatred and backlash about it like that one deleted comment on op's post.

I'm sorry for ranting about this but it so frustrating sometimes when people don't understand this. I brought up something similar to this topic once before and got death threats in my mentions for weeks (that's why this is anonymous)

ALSO, I'm not accusing you of any of the things I've mentioned in this ask. Based on what I've read from your work so far, the reader is actually someone you can enjoy reading about without feeling excluded when appearances are mentioned

Btw I adore your rich boy gojo series and would love to continue reading your work ❤️

im afraid you missed my main point and also, u are talking to someone who is literally a POC so i am definitely not in need of a rundown of how important it is to write reader in a manner that does not perpetuate western beauty standards. writing a reader that is inclusive for people in a manner that doesn't solidify western norms is important, but writing a reader that is an all encompassing fit all type of thing in terms of personality and decision making is not

its not that their point ab mistagged gn! readers and white/western physical features weren't valid—it was, but it was sprinkled in their main point that writing reader with personality is an oc and is not belonging in the tags and writers should focus on writing generic hcs instead. they used the issue of race and gender and other minoroties to support their idea that readers have to be ambiguous from all fronts, and that is a very twisted way to use actual real issues to justify your tantrums ab not liking dialogue or what the reader chose to do. my point that i was trying to make is that writers are entitled to write however they please as long as they tag what features of reader are set there. if they mistag that, then yes, that is something you should bring to their attention (politely) because then it misleads ppl to think this fic includes them. but that also is not done through a rant in the tags because that does not belong in the tags

quite frankly, to pair racial and gender representation issues as comparable to not aligning with the choices a reader takes to develop as a character and to put those two on the same boat takes away from the issue of inclusivity. inclusivity of a reader does NOT equal to how they think, process, feel, and progress in the storyline. not fitting in with the actual character of reader is incomparable to racial representation issues and misgendering tags and etc. the latter are REAL issues. the first is simply complaining bc u did not see urself in a plot

the actual problem with their rant was that they were using REAL issues to justify entitled complaining and that is why i did not validate them in that. yes writing reader as white and not tagging it is an issue. yes giving little to no thought to poc readers in writing is an issue. yes mistagging something as gn! while using gendered terms is an issue. but they should not be the backbone to an entirely different argument that essentially censors people

[grossillygirl]

I think i have issues because sometimes i get so seriously agitated by my friends. Like the amount kf questions and overexplaining i have to do about some things that should be common sense??? Or like if i say i dont want to explain something and then they still ask me questions abt it ljke HELLO. I JUST EXPLICITLY SAID I DON'T WANT TO EXPLAIN HELLDOOAOAHDV

And i never say anything out loud cus ik i need to work on it and stop being so fucking annoyed by how dumb people are sometimes because genuinely theyre just curious and want to know but its like??????????

And sometimes it feels so condescending?? Like i had gone to this rly nice restaurant bc a family member took me once. Then i made a new friend and shes telling me abt not only the restaurant, but the specific road (which is like v wrll known in the uk) and acting as if idk about it?? Like do u think im stupid cus i lived 20 mins away from that road for my whole childhood?????? And then was telling me abt the restaurant and explaining it, and i said id been there and she stopped and was like".. you? You went there? Huh when did you go there lol"

And i was like 😐 whats that tone for😭 idk its just frustrating when if u dont tell ppl abt everything that happens in ur life, they act like they were already entitled to know? Or like its so crazy that i did something but only because its me??? IDK

[master-missysversion]

Headcanons for things that i think were probably actually just bad writing choices

(Disclaimer: I'm not justifying any of these things, characters are allowed to do bad things and be flawed. This is just how I choose to see things)

Rose telling that kid to go after his abusive dad in the idiots lantern was actually because she was projecting her own issues about her dad onto him. She never got to have her dad in her life so she can't concieve that some people might actually be better off without their dad

Martha saying "good old rose" in Utopia isnt just because she's jealous while jack and the doctor are celebrating Rose literally being alive, it's because she just made another new friend only to once again find out that she's sort of an outsider. It's not about jealousy, its about being on the other side of the universe from everything you know and the only people you can rely on feel like they have their own little group that you're not a part of

Side note: these lyrics for Martha

During the year that never was, the master would sometimes have really bad spells of the drums, during one of these spells Lucy tried to help but he was frustrated and lashed out, which is how she got the bruise. It was wrong and he definitely didn't apologise but it wasn't malicious and didn't happen again. (To be clear, I think the master does and is capable of many malicious things, this is just a line that I don't want crossed)

Amy is asexual but overcompensates and tries to act the way she thinks people want her too. I can't remember if it's said in the episode but there's a minisode where Amy seems convinced the doctor only brought her along bc he's interested in her, hence the infamous kiss. She's also self-sabotaging because while she loves rory, she feels guilty because she probably doesn't love him the same way he loves her

The definition of "system" that refers to types of societies never crossed the doctors mind during Kerblam! She was always referring to the computer systems (this one may actually be somewhat canon im not sure, im not 100% convinced kerblam was intended as an endorsement of capitalism)

The doctor left the master to the nazis bc she was pissed about Bills death and being abandoned. There's not really much more explanation to this, I just think the doctor is very capable of doing terrible things and this was one of them (see also: threatening to sic the cybermen and daleks on Ashildr, the family of blood situation, killing the racnoss children etc). Writing wise, they should never have crossed that particular line. Character wise i think if you piss the doctor off enough then they tend to lose all morals

Additionally I think the doctor also sees the master as indestructible. In a way its a compliment but it just often leads to the doctor leaving the master in dangerous situations and thinking it doesn't matter bc they'll always survive anyway. And of course the master will never tell the doctor that it's hurtful when they do this so the doctor thinks the master doesn't care about it (this isn't really a bad writing choice one, its just a thing I think. And i think it influences the previous point)

The doctor was so happy in the specials and didn't mention yaz at all because they're actually just a huuuuuge liar. The second donna leaves he breaks down. He loves donna but he misses his other friends, he misses Yaz. Sometimes he thinks about going to see her but he knows it wouldn't be fair to her

Tldr everyone sucks, theyre all a mess, and I love them