#its morally questionable to say the least !

[jaehaeryshater]

Robb and Theon in The Kiss of Judas

🎨 art by the talented @shripscapi

This beautiful and, in a way, breathtaking (at least in my opinion) artwork has been in my mind in concept for at least a year, and has been beautifully brought to life by Liesl. I have always felt that there was an almost biblical element to Robb Stark’s arc and his betrayal, by Roose Bolton, Walder Frey, and most pointedly, Theon Greyjoy (though the latter was done with less malice, but then again, that is not a prerequisite to betrayal). Robb Stark is a young king with good intentions, wanting the best for his people, but whether from greed, a want for revenge, or a wish for belonging, he was killed. His murder in of itself was at the hands of Roose Bolton and Walder Frey’s men, but being that those men were not particularly close to Robb nor was the king fond of them, the impact of their betrayal comes mostly from the shock and gore of it all, as well as the disregard for the revered tradition of guest right. Roose Bolton and Walder Frey have a direct hand in Robb Stark’s death, but Theon Greyjoy’s betrayal of his self-proclaimed “brother” has an indirect part in it too (it is to be noted, when I say betrayal, I do not mean to imply that Theon owes loyalty to the Starks, the family that took him from his home as a boy; I am not of the opinion he does, but Theon describes his own actions as betrayal, for personal loyalty to Robb). It is a matter of debate if Theon would have been able to return to Robb without being intercepted by his father if he had chosen to try and warn his friend that the Ironborn were preparing to launch an attack instead of allying with the North. What is not up for debate is that Theon’s capture of Winterfell weakened the North and its morale, bringing into question how they should move forward. On a more personal level, Theon’s claim of having murdered Robb’s younger brothers, Bran and Rickon, was devastating to the young king. The grief was what inadvertently led Robb to sleep with and ultimately marry Jeyne Westerling. While the Freys likely would have tried to betray Robb at some point, if Robb had followed their plan to marry a Frey girl, he would have probably lived for some time, at least to ensure a Frey/Stark heir. Theon does not have full responsibility for all these acts, but his betrayal certainly weakened Robb. Robb and Theon were close as Jesus and Judas were, despite the “kings” being warned or otherwise knowing better. Judas betraying Jesus is more impactful than if it had been another other apostle, just as, in my opinion, Theon betraying Robb is more impactful than Roose and Walder doing the same. On a more general note, while Robb did not die on a literal cross, I do not find it to be a coincidence that he died at a dinner. Robb’s story likely is purposefully inspired by biblical elements, along with being informed by various other historical figures, which I will elaborate on below.

With the iconography in my commission, my intention was for the piece to contain symbols that could pass as something you could find either in a Bible from times past or a Westerosi history book. Liesl’s art is beautiful and too polished, given modern methods, to pass for something found in a medieval manuscript, but it does look like it could be a descendent of such a thing. Medieval art is too archaic for my liking so I had purposefully set out with this compromise in mind, and Liesl’s art style was the closest to my vision. The weirwood is specific to Westeros and the in-world religion of Robb, but the halo is more biblical in nature. My intention was not to portray Robb as perfect or pure-intentioned, certainly not as selfless as the Christian depiction of Jesus. The iconography is meant to be more saintly in nature. Saint is not synonymous with perfect, anyone who knows an extensive amount about saints knows that there are saints canonized that weren’t particularly good people in their lifetime. My particular inspiration was Edward the Martyr, king of England (before William’s conquest). Edward died at the age of 16 under guest right. He was killed by a group of guards, his own people, on his stepmother’s estate. His death, too, was described as Christ-like. Here is a quote from a recount of his death:

“Those magnates had agreed among themselves a wicked plot: they were possessed of so damnable an intention and so murky and diabolical a blindness, that they did not fear to lay hands on God's anointed. Armed men surrounded him on all sides… The venerable king had with him very few soldiers, since he did not suspect anyone, trusting "in the Lord and in the might of His power” — it was just as the Jews once surrounded our Lord… They were seized by a single madness, an equal insanity ... The soldiers laid hold of him: one on his right-hand side drew him towards him, as if he wished to give him a kiss; another grabbed his left side firmly and gave him the death blow.”

Who does that sound like???

I love the idea of Robb as a figure similar to Edward the Martyr. He is a boy-king, and not particularly religious or impressive in feats (though Robb, having bested Tywin thus far in the story, is significantly ahead of Edward in terms of his military). Their death is tragic and they are exceptional, not for being great men, but for being innocent children thrust into a role and then martyred. Thus their stories turn to legends and they are seen as holy or saint-like in nature. Though Robb worshipped the Old Gods, due to his maternal family’s legacy and beliefs, it is not all that far fetched he could have a cult dedicated to him or be revered by the Faith of the Seven later on in Westerosi history.

Concerning other symbolism, I will acknowledge that Robb’s youth is exaggerated here to drive home the point of him being little more than an innocent child. He has not grown his beard yet and he is dwarfed by his furs. His clothes are meant to intimidate, make him look regal and intimidating. But really, it makes him look like a kid. Theon is portrayed as an adult, five years Robb’s senior. He is not meant to be malicious and his love for Robb is not false. He still betrays him all the same, that’s the tragedy of it. Robb knows he is king, knows he should keep a distance from Theon, many have told him. But yet he is informal here, having removed his glove so Theon can hold him. Robb is not relaxed, but that is not due to a lack of affection or some sort of stiffness around Theon, but rather to create an effect of a dead boy walking, rigor-mortis. Theon’s clothes aren’t meant to have any symbolism about him. I looked at all sorts of biblical art and depictions of the Kiss of Judas to decide what colors I wanted Theon to wear. I saw a lot of reds and whites, but I didn’t like that for Theon. I saw gold as well, but we didn’t want to default to House colors as that is overdone. The result was giving Theon the most luxurious clothes possible. Black was an expensive color and velvet an expensive fabric. His garb is more expensive and showy than the King’s himself. That is because Theon is exceptionally vain and Robb is not. Theon has all sorts of jewelry and even has pearls on his boots. Who does that???? It’s so gaudy and impractical, I love it for Theon. The pearls will eventually fall off and he will have wasted a fortune, but Theon does not think about practicality like that. He is a guarded person decorating himself with bits and baubles to give himself some sort of purpose or comfort that is not there. He subconsciously wishes to trick people into thinking he is secure and has value, when he feels no sense of belonging anywhere. No wonder his father bullied him.

My endless thanks and gratitude to Liesl @shripscapi. I love your work and appreciate you. Everyone should follow her account and check out more of her art because it is beautiful. She is a joy to work with and very thorough and dedicated. She has been very flexible and patient with me in the months making this and my past commissions. I have had nothing but wonderful experiences with her, she is one of my favorite and most respected artists in this community. And thank you for anyone who has stuck here and read this, I obviously a passion for this sort of stuff. I love to ramble and this is my hyper-fixation so I’m very excited about this.

[cdr2002]

I hate fandom moral police lmao, I get it. Someone tried to tell me like five characters I’m not allowed to like by extension of Gul Dukat making me uncomfortable once. It was annoying.

While I agree, Section 31 are, at least in the way I interpret their DS9 appearances, unambiguously villains, but also outside of the novels they have no coherent arc, so I kinda get why people have a problem with them even if I don’t as much. Later series muddy the waters with characters we are meant to like who are associated with the organization such as Malcom Reed and Ash Tyler, but these can be seen as a bit of greyness shading that particular character, or that character can be interpreted as an antihero, and thus not someone we’re mean to 100% root for.

There’s also a very narrow “they exist in opposition of Julian Bashir specifically and are designed for that narrative function” read of Section 31 but I don’t find that idea interesting in macrocosm or useful to the discussion.

I think the question of the Borg and genocide is in the way that one shuts down the Collective. Janeway’s virus, from what I can tell, largely freed drones or rendered them in stasis. The shit they were suggesting in “I, Borg” sounds a lot more like genocide to me and I’m glad Picard and co chose to abort, and it really shows a dark side of Nacheyev and Starfleet Command when they’re mad Picard didn’t do it later. The reason I have a problem with the idea of genociding is not because the Collective is a culture in need of preserving, but because every single drone is a captive person who deserves freedom and should only be mercy killed if there is no other immediate option. (And sometimes our heroes can try harder than they do, as Lily critiques Picard got with Ensign Lynch)

Individual characters like Picard or Sisko opposing the Maquis because of who those individual characters are make sense, I agree. I try, and maybe this is cope, to interpret the “actually this was always hopeless” thing as Sisko’s personal opinion and see the narrative of Eddington’s final episode as rightfully presenting a tragedy, even if previous episodes critiqued the Maquis for the glory seeking of some of its members. I do think Sisko and Eddington are both equally up in their own pride for most of their interactions and none of their friends on either side will tell them no.

I also view the Thomas Riker episode as a critique of people who join fights to be validated. I like Thomas so I don’t want to say “white guy at a BLM March” but I struggle to think of something else right now. I don’t see Kira as saying the Maquis as a whole are doing it wrong, there’s actually a strong current of Maquis-Bajoran solidarity in the franchise further bolstered by beta canon it might be too much of a side tangent to get into. I think Kira is trying to tell Thomas that he is doing it wrong and is going to get his fellow Maquis killed.

So I for one see the Maquis as flawed but not in the wrong, but I think it’s fair, despite my takes, if someone sees the media as outright condemning them. Like that’s not unreasonable. Main characters as the moral authority is common in fiction. Star Trek is just usually more nuanced so sometimes I notice when I think main characters are wrong or not seeing the whole picture.

Regarding fandom and even certain creators, I think some have an easier time condemning the Maquis than Section 31 because the Maquis fight in opposition to the dream utopia while Section 31 ultimately seeks to preserve it. While I see these things as facets that make Section 31 interesting nuanced antagonists, who believe in an optimistic future, just not for themselves because they view themselves as needing to do the dirty work, and that frames the Maquis as an example that this seemingly utopian future doesn’t always get it right and an ideal society is something we must continuously work towards, others see it as one group opposing their dream and one darkly enforcing it, I think. I could be talking out my ass.

Others still condemn both groups and don’t want to have to deal with the moral implications of either because they can’t handle Starfleet being wrong in one direction or another.

This may have been slightly incoherent but hey thought rambles. Hope this was interesting and I didn’t make an idiot of myself

TNG: The Maquis are an example of governments screwing over native groups and also show an ugly side of the Federation where they are legally correct but morally in the wrong

DS9: the Maquis are disillusioned people, horny for personal glory, fighting for a cause that may be righteous but they’re doing it wrong. Also they’re theatre kids so bombing them for space is morally correct

Voyager: The captain is the most stick-in-the-mud will-always-follow-the-rules Captain we’ve ever had and her first officer is a principled man who left Starfleet to fight with the Maquis for his homeland. Oh god oh god oh god. Girls are shipping them. Abort! Abort! Maybe if we ignore the characters’ canonical devotion to each other while never challenging or explaining it (or the conflict between a rule following Captain depending so much on a man who broke those rules for righteous reasons) the girls will get their icky hands off our cool explosion show for boys.

Picard: Ro betrayed daddy Picard Starfleet when she joined with the Maquis but she’s spent her career making up for that

Prodigy: Chakotay was wrong to join the maquis but his intimate yet undefined relationship ship with Janeway cured him. Remember kids; the government always has your best interests in mind and there’s never a reason to raise up against them or resist them in any way. Don’t read the Hunger Games

[daemon-in-my-head]

Weekend plans:

Download the BG3 update

Romance wife again

Feeeeeeeesh

Finish a WIP I'm working on so I can do a fun lil 'concept vs final result'

And now the realistic plan:

Download BG3 update

Spend the next 48h simping hard for morally dubious drow women and being gay

[faunandfloraas]

i saw ur tags earlier and i have, a controversial take for all the stays out there, but. i'll be honest i don't like LVs designs and i feel like they have Not #slayed with a lot of the styles they've put lix in

Me reading this

[pepper-steam-milkshake]

i think what people tend to forget (seeing all these posts on my feed atm) is at the end of the day, YOU curate your own fandom experience. there is ALWAYS going to be someone who makes content you dont like. there is a very good chance that someone whose content you do like will make content you dont like for one reason or another.

things to keep in mind?

the content someone creates is not indicative of their nature. for fuck’s sake how many times have you seen someone who looks and acts absolutely sweet and then makes the most fucked up cursed shit youve ever seen— and vice versa. the content they make is not their personality. jfc, if someone writes a story about fairies, are you gonna go, “oh, they’re secretly a fairy”? NO. so it would be appropriate to apply that to other content that you as an individual may find inappropriate

if you see something you dont like, instead of taking the time and energy to give hate to it, just walk away and leave it alone. why do you want to continue engaging with it. is fueling those few minutes of anger truly worth being an asshole? PEOPLE make content. thats right— people with feelings, emotions, experiences, memories, and lives of their own. someone took the time to write something, and then to not only write that thing but then share it with the world in spite of whatever lingering feelings they may have to it. if youre gonna shit talk, do it in private. dont do it right where the artist can see.

with today’s day and age, it is nigh impossible to avoid minors, and the same goes for adults. everyone finds their way into a space somehow. we’re all enjoying the content, and we’re all enjoying it in different ways for different reason. occasionally it’ll match up, but you cannot expect someone to share your opinions and your own view of morality. if you think murder is bad and you hate that someone keeps making the characters in your show kill people, the solution isn’t to say “youre a bad person and you shouldnt be okay with murder”. thats not the statement theyre making. also just leave them alone???

if you dont like the content and want to see something different, instead of suggesting that they make it differently, make it yourself. “i cant draw”— PRACTICE. drawing is a pain in the ass for me. im not great at it but i still practice because i want to make the content i want to see. “i cant write”—PRACTICE. experiment and try new things. “but its going to be bad”— MAKE IT BAD. everyone starts somewhere, and the only way to make your version of better is to improve on your version of bad.

just some thoughts

[narwhalandchill]

okok so ya know that post i mentioned i was writing on some of the harbinger related leaks that cropped up recently and then mobile fucked me over by publishing the post early by gaslighting me with a "post" button that Clearly read "save" (draft) so i deleted it but managed to rescue the text that was there and promised to finish it and post it later and then its been 12 years anyway? yeah right 😭 Oh well.

BUT. finally. might as well do the thing now in honor of childes bday at the very least KJWJKWDJK. sorry it took this long lmao

jsyk these leaks predate our current natlan beta datamines and some of the questionable story leaks floating around so like, natlan plot wise they dont have shit to do w em there & not bringing up any that ive seen. but ya

(so . attempt 2: recent lazzo VA character direction leaks for the harbingers mostly in relation to childes role in the overall plot. bit ranty and gets Long but idek what yall expected. + ig just potential long term plot implications from these leaks given its the harbingers beware)

aka: mostly concerning the faction stuff + pulcinellas directions for now . if u havent seen em uhhhh

basically tldr: according to (and assuming its not outdated) some information accessed by leakers recently originally provided for the VAs applying to voice the harbingers in lazzo, the group is allegedly split between two factions of "conservatives" and "radicals" . like thats the first thing

now as to what those labels rly mean ppl were overall speculating that it might be sth along the lines of. conservatives as the tsaritsa loyalists who stand united and for the organization and her majestys goals above all (OR alternatively just like. a more cautious take on How to approach the toppling celestia deal) VS those whose true ambitions, loyalty and methods they are willing to turn to are more of a wild card situation . and their allegiances are equally volatile in turn . & i will say imo the radicals are also most likely much less of an united group compared to the conservatives given uhhhhhhh. well you will see

so conservatives are: capitano, columbina, pulcinella, sandrone

radicals are: dottore, arle (see the "radicals might not like each other that much"), pantalone

pierro is neutral, childe is unknown/undecided according to the leaks HOWEVER. his positioning next to the radicals in the shot of lazzo with the harbingers standing around signoras coffin split along those same faction lines found in the leaks may indeed suggest something Interesting regarding his penultimate choice . if it Indeed is intended to be meaningful that he as an "unknown" just happened to take That side of the coffin alongside the 3 confirmed radicals according to this info . like how Curious

And i just. okay okay i have to be Honest theres like. SUCH a toxic childish taking-fandom-grievances-too-seriously part to me eyeing the possibility of ajax turning out to be a radical thats just like. dawei lets this happen and i WILL be the WORLDS most obnoxious fucking bitch about it bc . Listen

i. Have. ALWAYS. thought it obvious as FUCK . that a guy whose ambition WILL NOT stop until it is the very WORLD that lies defeated at his feet. will NEVER be satiated by what the fatui can offer him . like if he really is a radical. i can CONFIDENTLY state that i saw that shit coming in TWENTY FUCKING TWENTY and that Every single doubter owes me So much fucking money 💀💀💀💀💀💀 jkjk but. Duuuude. ever since this faction stuff dropped.... i cant stop thinking abt it

like i just. cannot stand the way its been turned into this . INDOMITABLE 100% factual absolute Truth that CANNOT be challenged. in the fandom. that childe is a tsaritsa fanboy loyalist devout worshipper who couldnt even fuckimg FATHOM leaving his allegiance to her behind . when its been . SPELLED OUT to yall in his fucking profile SINCE 1.1 .

bc like. Listen up. Repeat after me. ik its scary and new after 4 years of Exclusively hearing takes where like childe would rather spontaneously combust to the beat of snezhnayas national anthem while begging for repentance than ever stop taking orders from uhhhh a god. Who he definitely worships devoutly as a god despite 0 evidence on any religious piety on his part Trust (like. ive. Always thought his voiceline for her has been the opposite? its very much. Not how youd speak of divinity. his regard for her is Personal and relates to the tsaritsa as an individual, not a god inherently deserving of worship)

like ik this is a big thing and scary but just. Say the words with me here. It only stings once .deep breaths. okay 1 2 3

"But becoming Tartaglia was far from his end goal. To someone who sought to conquer the world, this was but a tiny step in his journey."

YUP.

BECOMING TARTAGLIA. BECOMING A HARBINGER. SWEARING AN OATH OF LOYALTY TO THE TSARITSA. A TINY. STEP. A TINY FUCKING STEP. AND HES BEEN AWARE OF IT BEING LIKE THIS THE ENTIRE TIME.

THIS HAS BEEN TEXT FOUND IN GAME THERE FOR NEARLY FOUR FUCKING YEARS NOW . AND PPL STILL THINK AJAX ISNT CAPABLE OF SURPASSING AND ABANDONING THE TSARITSA THE SECOND THE BENEFITS THEY OFFER HIM FALL SHORT OF THE EXPONENTIAL GROWTH OF HIS POWER AND AMBITION AND WHAT IT TAKES TO SATIATE HIM .

like im SORRY contrary to maybe popular belief and despite my persistent frustrations w this fandoms approach to ajax sometimes i Do in fact feel actively mean and unreasonably harsh calling 97% of childe "fans" functionally illiterate or at the very least intentionally obtuse to the point its beyond fucking parody in how ridiculous it gets but like. if THIS isnt what a complete and utter failure of basic reading comprehension is I DONT KNOW WHAT IS . like. DUDE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 what IS IT with these people its like genuinely fucking incomprehensible to me how CRITICAL shit about his character like this goes COMPLETELY ignored as if it hasnt been established since Day fucking one its unreal . Unreal 💀

and like. i get bitchy and snappy abt it i know its not the best look always but man its sth thats genuinely upsetting to me too bc . THIS is the fucking dude thats possessed me for the last 4 years THIS is what i love about him his potential to surpass Every Single Boundary that he has begun his journey confided within. that he will transcend it all and surpass his own limits with sheer fucking willpower over and over again until even the few he truly idolized and respected like the tsaritsa and capitano are suddenly so distant and irrelevant compared to the heights He has reached out for in his hunger....... its so peak like THIS is whats had me in a death grip for all this time

and like. for THAT guy that mr childe ajax tartaglia the REAL thing to barely even. Exist. in the minds of such a majority of the fandom its just fucking crushing sometimes. like i wanna appreciate all this abt him man i wanna share all my brainrot abt him and how this dude consumes my every waking thought but then borderline every single comment i see and popular take on him is just oh my pookie wookie babie girl would Never be able to betray tsaritsa ever etc etc etc and just.... Sigh

anyway overshare over sorry for that. yeah my ADHD makes me irrationally attached to my hyperfixations its kinda cringe .

do catch me kissing this man on the mouth Immediately the second his ambition surpasses the fatui and he goes beast mode fr fr on Everyone tho 🥰🥰 dyke license lost forever but itll be worth it

also real talk im like fairly convinced at least like 78% of the omgggg hes forever loyal to the tsaritsa gang are mostly like stuck in this mindset of like. omgggg hed Never Betray Her bc he doesnt like those who break promises uwu and its like. since when did the possibility of ajax outgrowing the stage where the fatui offer him anything worthwhile automatically equate to him betraying her wholesale and completely dropping any and all respect he had for her or sth. like yeah i do agree to an extent that it could end up p uncharacteristic (at least w/o proper plot setup or reasoning) for him to pull off like a complete disney twist villain backstab out of nowhere there but??? thats not rly whats going to automatically happen either???

(nvm that like a considerable portion of these same ppl were prolly writing "omgg ajax my poor victim MUST betray the evil tsaritsa" fics in 1.1 when everyone had the idea in their heads that he hates his job and is only doing it bc his family is held hostage and is also 17 bc of certified english localization moment. but i digress this is just unreasonably petty and im being a loser by not letting this shit go 2 this day💀💀)

bc like. if you ask me. the Interesting thing abt ajax and the possibility of being a radical IS that if hes going to refuse to follow an order or step out of line to follow his own path however it goes. its Not going to be personal. its not gonna be this big dramatic edgelord turncoat villainous moment to him. itll be straightforward. matter of fact. easy as breathing. because if he has moved past each and every benefit the fatui can even fathom offering him. its only natural that he progresses beyond them. thats just how his unquenchable ambition Works. how his black hole of a never-ending desire to devour and crush all in his path operates. its not personal. its not something you can change. its inevitable. he is a force of nature when it comes to the drive burning at the core of his soul.

like i Really dont think hes ever going to backstab the tsaritsa in some dirty play fashion??? if anything its only fitting that hes going to look her In the eye and go. oh my bad. i dont think our agreement serving a mutual benefit really holds ground anymore. apologies. like ofc its going to be something he handles while staying true to the person hes been all this time. kind of a bad guy and perfectly willing to own up to it. selfish and arrogant and with his sights set steadfast on a goal No one will get him to sway from.

and then he elopes with the narwh-------------- yes kill me

basically i just. dont get this whole perceived and persistent incompatibility between the idea of. ajax being a radical (whatever that ends up meaning in the story. IF these lazzo materials remain accurate) yet remaing the same guy we know and love. like guys. ARLE. is a radical. and has all but directly confessed to considering the survival of the house her greatest priority over any loyalty to the fatui and her majesty. yet she STILL regards her with respect and continues to fulfill her duties as a harbinger as expected for the time being. despite her full awareness of this loyalty being on shakier ground and surely making contingencies on the side for the future for When she sees it is time for her organization to sever the ties to the tsaritsa.

like Thats what i mean when i say its always been completely reasonable and even predictable to me that ajax would outgrow the fatui and how that has jack shit to do with his character suddenly doing some wild 180 in order to do so. and why this potentially significant visual alignment he has with the radicals in lazzo isnt surprising at all. bc if it doesnt fundamentally change who arle is (and doesnt make her a dottore fan) that she is ultimately someone whose loyalty to the organization comes second to her house. why would childe be any different lmao.

but like yes if he turns out to be a radical i will be soooooo obnoxious over it jkwjkawdjkwajkwdakjwdjkwdjkdwjk bc like im NOT lying this has been one of the Clearest trajectories ive expected from his arc All This Time . no matter which form it might eventually take in terms of. is it him and His growth initiating the split. or is it a betrayal from or a loss of faith in the tsaritsa herself that kickstarts it. if its canon? yeah i Saw that shit coming and you should all be scared of who ill become if dawei proves me right Again ill be the Worst

Phew that sure went way overboard but yes radical ajax advocacy group in here 100% . and overall even tho i mostly care abt him i Do think this faction split is inherently v fucking interesting and ajax being unknown is just. i wonder if itll end up being significant at some critical moment that his faction leanings are unknown slash undefined at the moment............... where the scales are about to tip and its by his hand that some key moment gets its turning point......... hmmmmmmm

(also its just. before these leaks we got "columbina is conservative" as an out of context statement Before the faction stuff and its still so fucking funny bc ppl were just like. wow i cant believe shes homophobic)

now. pulcinella time

so among the VA direction cards that leaked was his. and like if u didnt see them urself (not gonna post any here. hoyo lawyers love striking Any hoyo copyrighted media in all posts that have leaks in em even if its not an actual leak which this is lol) the setup is basically. theres a few overall notes on each of the harbingers like age, demeanor, characterization and then 3 sample lines of dialogue as well as notes further elaborating when & why this is being said and with what sort of vibe.

and his are. Well. you know how i started this post out being like on god dawei if you go and fatten my ego any further by Specifically vindicating me myself and i & the kinda things id prefer in genshins story and childes role going forward . Personally????

Anyway funny thing as it happens. IF (and admittedly thats a major if.) this VA direction doc from pulcinella holds up. and there isnt like a hidden scheming menacing side to him that wasnt brought up in the lazzo files. in that case . it sure is looking like pulcinella is just. a bit over the top in public but privately genuinely an overworked well-meaning pragmatic guy who deeply cares for and is truly protective of those important to him. INCLUDING. yes you know who and his family. NOTHING in the doc whatsoever implying anything sinister to it. nor wrt pulcinellas character overall.

and i just. nothing personal to scara fans yall are cool and ur guy is too i just simply. Cannot. guys can you IMAGINE being so much of an edgelord cynical embarrassment puppetfailure that ur own mommy issues make you physically incapable of Not assuming the worst of pulcinella caring for childes family leading to YEARS of ppl being CONVINCED hes gonna be this major fucking villain for ajax in the snezhnaya arc i . LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(my scara liker indulgence Ends the second hat guy speaks shit abt My man if you havent noticed. yeah WHO called who naive and stupid???)

like. if the Plot twist in the snezhnaya arc is setting pulcinella up to be this ominous figure that has ulterior motives w childes family and him overall????? only for him to be just. genuinely well-intentioned. oh my fucking god PLEASE let it happen PLEASE bc the entire concept of that whole plotline existing without said plot twist is just soooooo bland and fucking boring to me lol subverting it is just chef kiss

& sure this leak is. very limited in scope it doesnt automatically eliminate pulcinella manipulating childe and/or limiting what information he gets and all. and i genuinely have made my peace with the probable existence of this plot thread w arles SQ already before this whole thing happened but MAN ill be SO fucking happy if this means they might abandon/subvert it altogether like. let him just have a nice supportive mentor figure in his life in the fatui man 😭😭😭

pulcinella if u really just are a nice person ultimately. you TRULY are my goat o777 saving my man from bland family-is-hostage-waa storylines i have Such respect

anyway u could say its not possible for pulcinella to be like. fully a good guy since arles SQ already showcased him being unreliable w information regarding arle but honestly. i kinda disagree. bc like Especially with the faction thing in mind its not unreasonable at all in my eyes that given the Facts of what peruere did. that pulcinella despite not being this scheming schemer brainwashing ajax or whatever. would Genuinely hold a very negative opinion of arlecchino. and convey that to childe. bc like. pulcinella as stated above is in the conservative side of the harbingers. and arlecchino to the outside eyes rly did like. murder a harbinger and her own "mother" and siblings of the house. like do we even know that the harbingers are Aware of how crucabena ran her hunger games death tournament situation to begin with? and Why peruere killed her????

like. if we assume pulcinella doesnt know those things. and that crucabena in all likelihood was if nothing else then presumably a harbinger that was very loyal to the tsaritsa and very consistent. then from that position. of COURSE. youd consider arle a complete downgrade in terms of reliability . she IS a wild card she IS not someone a careful politician like pulcinella would regard highly At All. So like. i dont think when he gives childe the impression that arle is batshit insane and tells him of her (VERY REAL) murderous deeds. i dont think that would automatically equate to pulcinella Knowingly lying and misleading ajax . bc it seems fairly reasonable that pulcinella just genuinely thinks that lowly of her and thus would OBVIOUSLY want his protege not to involve himself with such people.

bc like thats the other thing. its not just arle. in pulcinellas VA notes and the line he has on ajax there. its very clear that he is actively trying to keep him away and shield him from ALL the harbingers . as he still has to mature and grow into someone who will have a chance at gaining their respect proper on his own. so like. if pulcinella thinks its best for ajax to remain away EVEN from the harbingers he himself considers GOOD to NEUTRAL influences and reliable colleagues. of COURSE hed make Extra sure that ajax is staying away from the knave whom pulcinella Actively considers a shitty fit for the job and an unreliable flight risk of a harbinger 💀💀💀💀

(nvm the way arle actively BOTH confirms pulcinellas distrust to be justified by saying the tsaritsa isnt a priority to her and the house is AND actively admits that he prefers other people believe misleading shit about her. so like fym pulcinella thinking the worst of her is surprising)

so like is pulcinellas pov of her at best Highly biased and lacking critical context on Why she merked so many of her sibs and crucabena??? and thus served as an inherently misleading insight on her character when he conveyed it to ajax??? absolutely. but i also dont think hes necessarily lying at all when it comes to perceiving arle in such a negative way so its less. oh i want ajax to remain in the dark forever so he is easy 2 manipulate. more just. thats his Opinion dude and ofc he wants his protege to follow in his stead and not get any poor influences from people like her. it still makes for interesting development & possible tension that childe Is questioning his views on things by making his own judgements about arle but. ya know. its not black and white.

but yeaaaa to be clear me vastly preferring the possibility of scara just being a cringelord unreliable narrator and this whole pulcinella-is-masterminding-dubious-things getting subverted & hes just a guy is just a personal thing lmao. this is pretty old material and far from all-encompassing in terms of Who hoyo wants pulcinellas character to be and all the layers he might hide. im just really 👁️👁️👁️ at the way this particular description of his character seems to be giving off vibes that they in fact Arent actually going all the way into the ulterior motives bad bad ajax watch out pulcinella and its just. listen theres way more interesting shit for ajax to be doing in the endgame plot than some generic plot like that!!!!!!!11! sorry!!!1 so id 1000% want it this way instead lmao

but we shall see where it goes. at the very least if this desc of pulcinella holds Any ground at all then it does disqualify the most extreme version of hes just basically evil manipulator mastermind so like. im already super happy with that lmao

but ya . sorry this took me forever to actually finish jwjkwdjkawjkwd these leaks r kinda old news by now rip .

[hoziersong]

wow i just saw. a Take

[faetealights]

.

[desertdragon]

LRB make no mistake I will cause that little red bitch's funeral BUT that moment in Trail and his moment keeping people together during Radz a Han getting attacked, are genuine examples of profound moments that rarely surface in this writing from the sea of banal nothing they do with these characters otherwise- that was one of the only scenes in Trail that felt like an actual writer did writing instead of phoning it in, and not only was it not built up to within that red cunt's character prior in the expac (as in showing from the start that he's still looking at you as if you were dead and this is still worrying him then BUILD IT to this gondola conversation) and then nothing further is done with the idea after the scene. These kinds of profound scenes are always stuffed in to only last a single moment at a single zone before never being questions expanded on in character behavior again or if so in watered down versions that play into the otherwise one note aspect of characters, and this is consistently a problem that occurs. It's pure disservice to both story and character writing because what you get feels so haphazard and incomplete, which is what contributes to the writing majority of the time being lackluster to outright bad. It's these occasions of genuinely decent to good writing that give me the delusion anything more can happen in it.

[autisticlee]

I don't understand why so many religious weirdos claim dinosaurs never existed and the bones/fossils dug out of the ground were buried under rock by scientists and then dug back out. it makes no sense at all. does their religion book tell them they were fake? is that what it is? because they seem to love letting some old mistranslated book dictate their entire life, thoughts, feelings, actions, etc. they even make up stuff the book supposedly says to excuse their behavior and justify horrible things, which makes them hypocrites for not actually following their book they claim tells them exactly how to live their lives that they must follow exactly or they will go to hell. but they sure like to pick and choose what they follow and make up new rules. but anyway, why do they hate dinosaurs lmao

[eelhound]

"The idea of reforming Omelas is a pleasant idea, to be sure, but it is one that Le Guin herself specifically tells us is not an option. No reform of Omelas is possible — at least, not without destroying Omelas itself:

If the child were brought up into the sunlight out of that vile place, if it were cleaned and fed and comforted, that would be a good thing, indeed; but if it were done, in that day and hour all the prosperity and beauty and delight of Omelas would wither and be destroyed. Those are the terms.

'Those are the terms', indeed. Le Guin’s original story is careful to cast the underlying evil of Omelas as un-addressable — not, as some have suggested, to 'cheat' or create a false dilemma, but as an intentionally insurmountable challenge to the reader. The premise of Omelas feels unfair because it is meant to be unfair. Instead of racing to find a clever solution ('Free the child! Replace it with a robot! Have everyone suffer a little bit instead of one person all at once!'), the reader is forced to consider how they might cope with moral injustice that is so foundational to their very way of life that it cannot be undone. Confronted with the choice to give up your entire way of life or allow someone else to suffer, what do you do? Do you stay and enjoy the fruits of their pain? Or do you reject this devil’s compromise at your own expense, even knowing that it may not even help? And through implication, we are then forced to consider whether we are — at this very moment! — already in exactly this situation. At what cost does our happiness come? And, even more significantly, at whose expense? And what, in fact, can be done? Can anything?

This is the essential and agonizing question that Le Guin poses, and we avoid it at our peril. It’s easy, but thoroughly besides the point, to say — as the narrator of 'The Ones Who Don’t Walk Away' does — that you would simply keep the nice things about Omelas, and work to address the bad. You might as well say that you would solve the trolley problem by putting rockets on the trolley and having it jump over the people tied to the tracks. Le Guin’s challenge is one that can only be resolved by introspection, because the challenge is one levied against the discomforting awareness of our own complicity; to 'reject the premise' is to reject this (all too real) discomfort in favor of empty wish fulfillment. A happy fairytale about the nobility of our imagined efforts against a hypothetical evil profits no one but ourselves (and I would argue that in the long run it robs us as well).

But in addition to being morally evasive, treating Omelas as a puzzle to be solved (or as a piece of straightforward didactic moralism) also flattens the depth of the original story. We are not really meant to understand Le Guin’s 'walking away' as a literal abandonment of a problem, nor as a self-satisfied 'Sounds bad, but I’m outta here', the way Vivier’s response piece or others of its ilk do; rather, it is framed as a rejection of complacency. This is why those who leave are shown not as triumphant heroes, but as harried and desperate fools; hopeless, troubled souls setting forth on a journey that may well be doomed from the start — because isn’t that the fate of most people who set out to fight the injustices they see, and that they cannot help but see once they have been made aware of it? The story is a metaphor, not a math problem, and 'walking away' might just as easily encompass any form of sincere and fully committed struggle against injustice: a lonely, often thankless journey, yet one which is no less essential for its difficulty."

- Kurt Schiller, from "Omelas, Je T'aime." Blood Knife, 8 July 2022.

[xoxochb]

“mhmmm what time is it?” your voice comes out muffled within the pillow as you roll over onto your tummy.

but percy rolls you back over onto your back and you whine. you reach out, eyes closed, until you at last feel your boyfriend beside you. you hit him with the utmost force you can muster in your current sleepy state. which isn’t much but you try.

“time, please.”

your hand slides off his chest as percy slides to the side to find the bedside clock. you leave your arm outstretched until you feel him lay back down and his cold skin is back beneath your fingertips.

“three-fourteen.” he smiles and takes your arm into both of his hands, beginning from your fingers and peppering them in light kisses.

you whine a second time. “‘s too early, perce.”

“I can’t sleep.” his mouth works its way up your wrist and beginning over the expanse your arm.

“‘course you can’t…” you inhale before sitting up alongside him, taking the blankets with you to bear the coldness over your bare skin.

you watch as his lips travel higher. you turn on your side facing him so once reached your shoulder he is allowed easier access. soon, he does. percy’s mouth falls upon your shoulder, your neck, and remaining there like a leech.

his hands rest sprawled along the skin of your back, while your own drape around his neck, twirling his hair lazily. you feel his smile between kisses. it makes your own lips turn upwards.

“percy, what’re you doing?” the smile is oh-so prominent in your voice it brings such a pink flush to your cheeks.

he finds your jaw quickly, then your chin and your cheeks and your temples and your forehead and your hairline and the bridge of your nose and the tip of it then your top lip and your bottom lip and each corner of your mouth before at last, finally connecting his lips with yours.

it’s there and gone too quickly for your liking it was at the very least ten seconds. when he pulls back you exhale.

“you’re dodging my question.”

“oh.” anyone else may have believed it was sincere ‘oh’ but you knew better. you also knew his smirk all too well. he shrugs and begins pecking your neck again. “just wanna kiss you, sweet girl. that okay with you?”

you roll your eyes. yet your smile never does falter. “it’s three in the morning— you couldn’t wait until at least six?”

percy nips at your neck. breaking your nonchalance, you giggle softly. his smirk is exchanged for a smile, to unbearably wide he’s no longer able to kiss your skin. he settles for resting his face on your shoulder instead.

“I think you know the answer to that, sweet girl.”

he was right. but you suppose it was still nice to hear his voice.

“touché.” you nod and place a tender kiss to his forehead. “do i get to go back to sleep?”

“also no.”

of course. might as well get comfortable.

you sigh and tangle your legs with his. he is cold in comparison to your warmth and you’re sure nothing has felt better. or maybe an exaggeration percy would never let you get away with saying but the point is still understood the same.

“do I at least get to go to bed early tonight?”

“I’ll think about it.”

you lightly tug at a strand of his hair. “there’s nothing to think about.”

“there is. it depends—” you can hear the smirk. “are you planning to wear that new blue dress you got the other day?”

“I was but now I’m having second thoughts.”

“pleaseeeeee wear it, you look so good in blue, sweet girl.”

you recall when you had bought it. a rare occasion when you had been able to leave camp with percy. typically mr. d did not trust the both of you together. but just this once you had gone shopping for summer clothes. percy had found the dress himself, actually.

you had allowed him to enter the changing room with you as you had tried it on. his plan from there, the sight of the pretty blue sundress on you, was to drop every social moral he owned as he dropped to his knees before you.

you told him no but promised to wear it sometime during the week. honestly, you had been dying to wear it yourself.

“I suppose I will.”

like presumed, you had not gone to bed early the following night.

༯ “love you to the moon and to saturn neptune” - seven, taylor swift, folklore.

[unsolicited-opinions]

3/26/25

Haviv Rettig Gur on deaths in Gaza:

The full list of Gazans killed in the war has been released in Gaza. Possibly. At the very least, as Israeli analysts are now finding, there aren't duplicate ID numbers or other tells one finds in obviously manipulated data sets. But here's another reason to trust the data: It shows just how much Israel's warfighting tried to separate combatant from civilian. It seems unlikely that a faked Gazan data set would show such a result. The graph in the first tweet of this thread shows male to female deaths. If female deaths are assumed to be a civilian baseline (the age distribution is roughly the general Gazan population's age distribution), then the enormous spike of the blue line, right in the area of the graph that represents fighting-age men, is the best likely measure of combatant deaths. According to this analyst, the gap comes to over 16,000 dead, or almost exactly a third of total deaths. That's a Gazan data set, not an Israeli one. And it's the most complete one so far, the only one that claims to give all the names of all the dead, the one most likely to be an honest recording of the actual dead. And according to this data set, the death toll in Gaza is two civilians to each combatant, well in line with the highest standards of modern democratic armies. To be clear - this caveat is obvious, but it's important enough to say it explicitly nonetheless - the debate isn't over whether children died in Gaza or crimes were committed. The answer to both is yes. There were definitely and unquestionably war crimes committed in Gaza, air strikes that should not have been carried out. And there are thousands of dead children in this data set. The debate is over the extent, whether these are at a level consistent with the inevitable costs of even the most legitimate kind of war, which will always be horrible, or whether the best data we have shows wanton Israeli killing and disregard for moral rules and international laws. Israel's haters will tweet pictures of dead children in response. If they did that for every war, I'd take them seriously and sympathetically. But the vast majority of them don't. They don't care about dead children, only about destroying Israel. And so they can't actually tell us anything about whether our army, broadly speaking, has fought morally. But this data set can. All war is evil, all war is hell, all war is a kind of civilizational failure. But war is sometimes nevertheless legitimate and inevitable. International humanitarian law came about not to end war, because ending war is impossible, but to mitigate its evils. If this data set is correct - again, a data set released from Gaza and not at all intended to validate any Israeli argument about its battlefield standards - then the costs imposed on Gaza by Israeli warfighting methods are consistent with what is generally considered in the West to be moral and legitimate. It is a comparable ratio to the 2016 Battle of Mosul in which Iraq, the Kurds and America drove ISIS out of the city. War is bad. I respect people who vehemently oppose this one, who question the Israeli political leadership's decisions, who use the war to debate the larger question of Palestinian independence and statehood. These are all legitimate responses to the suffering of Gazans. As is the argument I personally agree with that this war was the only path available to us to rid ourselves and Gaza of the neverending and endlessly destructive scourge of Hamas. But it nevertheless matters - indeed, it may be the most important thing over the long term - that this war's civilian casualties were not worse than other comparable wars, and that even Gazan data sets show that to be the case.

The thread to which Haviv refers is here

[specshroom]

hello hello, I stumbled across your writing and wanted to say how much I enjoyed “Blood In The Water” I was curious about how reader struck that deal with all the mer-creatures in the first place?! did they try to eat reader too? or did one/many have an attachment or attraction since reader grew up around that place? the whistling was soooo cool, like they were dogs trained to a command! does that mean they had struggles with communication at first? do the mer-peeps understand language or just body language? I’m full of questions 😂❤️ it was just so enthralling and love a good morally grey character! is reader struggling to make ends meet and that’s why they do this? or is it more of ‘it’s either me or them’ type scenario? OR reader is just like this is the easiest way to get money?! 👀 oml lemme stop here this is getting quite long— LOVE UR STUFF 😚

I'M SO GLAD IT INTERESTED YOU SO MUCH (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

I like to keep things up to interpretation cus I think it's more fun BUT I can answer a few of those.

- They definitely struggled at first lol. The merfolk can't speak human language and don't understand it. Humans can't speak mer-language either because it's mostly high pitched clicks and chitters. Reader figures out that the closest they can get to making sounds the merfolk understand is by whistling because it's loud and high pitched enough that they can hear it easily even through the water.

- They do share a lot of body language and mannerisms with humans (like kissing👀) so that made things easier.

- The merfolk do recognise Reader as a local and that made them more trustworthy. (Later on they marked the bottom of Readers boat so they know it's them🥺)

I wrote a little drabble to answer the "How did this happen?" question.

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

You sigh as you row your way out of the canal and into the open waters.

Your new patron lounges in his seat on the opposite side of the gondola, staring up at the clear blue sky. You preferred doing business at night when it's quiet, few braved these waters at night. Alas dwindling funds force you to suffer the business of the day. There's just too much comotion in the daytime, too many tourists.

Its been like this since the first rich fool "discovered" that your relatively small and unimpressive lake town actually boasts some magnificent and horrific monsters in the depths of the decievingly calm waters surrounding it. Now flocks of fools come to "test their bravery" by crossing the dangerous waters.

Conservationists and locals convinced them that hunting down the monsters in the lake would lead to environmental catastrophe and the snobs decided that it would be a better investment as a tourist attraction.

"Don't you get bored of this?"

Your patron slices the silence in half. You blink out of your thoughts, releasing the iron grip you had on your oar.

"I could give you a different job."

The well dressed man's tone is almost convincingly sympathetic. You keep your gaze locked onto the familiar waters ahead of you...until you hear the distinct sound of coins being jostled against one another. That changes things.

You hesitantly turn to where the stranger sits comfortably, grinning with pride.

"I thought so, it's always the same with you locals."

The tourist opens his money bag and takes out one gold coin. At least enough for a small meal.

"What would you do for it?"

He plays with the coin in his fingers before tossing it out of the boat and into the water. The carelessness with which he tosses his gold makes your blood run hot. Through the thick permanent fog that hangs over the waters, you can just barely see the gold coin as it sinks into the abyss and your stomach growls pitifully.

He holds out the pouch over the side of the boat, dangling it over the water.

"Would you dive for it?"

The sick thing is that you actually consider it. You stare intensely at the stupid pouch that could keep you going for a good while.

The man suddenly drops the pouch and you jump forward to catch it but he yanks it back up by the drawstring before it can touch the surface of the water. He laughs at his cruel humour and your blood reaches it's boiling point.

You don't know why it was that patron in particular that made you snap or why that bad day in particular made you finally put the knife skills your father taught you to good use.

But before either of you know it his laughter turns to bloody choking. You scramble off of him, panic clear on your face. He reaches for the knife in his neck but it's useless. His body sags over the edge of the boat and his blood mixes with the water. You watch with wide eyes as he takes his last struggled breaths.

It's silent for a while before you take your eyes off of the man Infront of you to look down at your red stained hands. You look around as if anyone could've seen your crime through the fog anyway.

After a while of just staring blankly at the still body Infront of you, you try to compose yourself and lift him off the side of the gondola. You manage to tip him over and watch his body sink down.

You stare at the corpse fading deeper into the water. Just as you ready yourself to leave the scene something rocks the gondola slightly and you fall on your ass, gripping the side of the boat.

You feel a breath on the side of your cheek and jump when you look over and see two big pitch black eyes staring at you from over the side of the boat. Your skin turns to ice, unable to move.

You hear chittering from the other side and jump again as another one peers over the furnished wood of the boat. The first one takes your frozen hand in their cold clawed hand and inspects the drying blood covering it.

They stick their tongue out and slowly lick all the way up your shaking hand, licking away at the blood as if cleansing you of your sin. The other makes a clicking sound that sounds oddly like laughter.

Once all the blood on your hand has been licked off, the creature looks up at you for a moment before disappearing below the surface once more. The other one doesn't look like it wants to go but a few clicks from the water convince it to slowly lower back into the depths.

You lean over the side of the gondola trying to get a better look at the creature before it leaves. You deflate when you don't see so much as a ripple in the water.

Suddenly, just as you were sure they weren't coming back, the same one from moments ago bursts from the water. In a second it cups your cheek and kisses you. It's hard and deep, more passionate than you'd ever had before. The creature releases you and this time before it leaves it gives a little wave with its strange webbed hand. You wave back, a little dazed, as the monster dives back into the water.

You have to sit there for a good while staring at the pouch of coin the tourist left behind and then back to the murky waters, touching your lips while contemplating what the hell just happened.

[genderkoolaid]

maybe my least favorite anti-autistic stereotype is the trope that autistic people are ultra-rational and thus chock full of bigotry. like house m.d does this*, bones does this, i'm pretty sure the good doctor also did this with their trans episode. allistic showrunners looovee writing an autistic character who says blatantly racist, sexist, ableist, etc. things & justifies it by saying that autistics are simply too Rational and Incapable Of Understanding Emotion to pretend that our current social hierarchies aren't natural!

it sucks for one because it promotes the stereotype that all autistics are hypoempathetic, AND that being hypoempathetic means that you uncritically believe bigotry. but it ALSO sucks because it also promotes the idea that bigotry is driven by rationality and being anti-bigotry is driven by irrational emotions. and that the fight for social justice is really about making people set aside their rational bigoted beliefs because its mean. rather than making arguments based on the actual material evidence of oppression, and how the logic of oppression is deeply flawed and often extremely contradictory because it's only goal is maintaining power. and how that is in fact morally wrong.

my examples are mostly TV but i was thinking about this while rewatching munecat's video debunking evopsych (around 2:47:06). in which an evopsych guy is justifying a misogynistic paper arguing that women are less inclined towards STEM because Evolution, by saying that the author is "Aspy" and thus ~too rational to tone himself down for The Woke~. It's such bullshit and it hides behind aspie supremacy and fantastical ideas of autistic people as robots instead of human beings filled with biases and fallacies and yes, EMOTIONS, in order to push the narrative that bigotry is rational and the left is motivated by our squishy soft womanly irrational empathy rather than the fact that systemic racism objectively exists and misogyny is a self-contradictory mess.

also it's just a way of avoiding the reality of their own bigotry. if misogyny isn't scientifically valid, then that means they must choose to hold misogynistic beliefs, rather then those beliefs being natural. which means they have to actually grapple with the question of whether or not it is moral to maintain a misogynistic system rather than deconstructing it and creating a more equal society. if misogyny is just Nature and Facts and Logic then they can pretend that it's all out of their hands! they want to side-step the question of whether or not its right by arguing making an appeal to evolution as some divine ruler which will destroy our society if we ever deviate from 1950s US social hierarchies.

*to give this show credit, it has other reasons why house is Like That, and he also has plenty of moments where he criticizes the status quo and/or the audience is meant to disagree with his behavior/views. but they still do engage in "house is bigoted and his bigotry is justified by the story" such as in the infamous asexuality episode. but the writers also refused to make him canonically autistic even when they wrote him Like That so who gives a fuck

[isenkus]

warnings for age gap, no pronouns used. sfw. toshinori's insecurities are explored a bit.

there’s something about the older pro heroes having a controversially young partner that makes them feel young again.

when it comes to toshinori yagi, he feels like a 20 year old breezing through life. scratch that, you make him feel like a dumb teenager. he stumbles over his own feet, mixes up his words, and he constantly sweats at the thought of being around you. it feels like he’s suddenly trapped inside a romcom, where he’s head over heels over his new workmate.

the day you moved into the teacher dorms was the day you were introduced to him. the great all might. the symbol of peace, and also the hero whose posters are stuck decorating the walls of your childhood room.

when you began your work as a teacher at ua, he was the first to ask you out for lunch in his office. and who are you to deny, when the muscly, steaming hot man of your dreams is leaning against his office’s doorframe, the famous, million dollar smile plastered on his face. with a small bento box in hand.

a part of him feels like he has to care for you. it’s a small gesture, one he would’ve liked to have at his early twenties. he’s just doing what anyone would do, right? there’s obviously not a part of him that is intrigued by you. no, not one bit.

and to say you’re interested in uncovering what’s behind all might’s strong front is an understatement. in your eyes, it’s clear that he’s struggling, and you’re more than willing to become the one he can rely on. though, it takes time. your patience is about to be tested well beyond its limits. so, you start off slow.

yagi might think of himself as self centered, but there has to be something going on. that's what he thinks, at least.

you fix his tie when it’s slowly slipping, and straighten the collars of his shirts. you twirl the two beautiful blond strands of hair decorating his face, and always have your hand grazing his when walking with him around campus. his desk is next to yours in the teacher’s lounge, and you always offer him your post its and stickers for him to use when grading. he’s grown so comfortable, in fact, that he takes them without asking. there’s a comfortable silence, except when you’re softly humming whatever 80s song pops in your head. he thinks he’ll faint because you enjoy the same music he did back in the day.

you’re just being you. you’ve done the same with mic, and eraser too. he has to be too full of himself for even considering the fact that you feel something for him. which brings the question, does he feel something for you? if he doesn't, then why is he spending time analyzing his every interaction with you? your expressions, actions and reactions are on loop as he tries to figure out what he feels.

is it even okay? he’s well into his fifties, and you’re still a long way from there. his morality begins to chew at him, because you’re a young spirit, and he’s already seeing himself in a grave. it’s harsh, but yagi's mind goes to the extreme. he doesn’t want to take away your youth.

but hasn’t he been selfless his whole life? it should be time for him to think for himself. he’s come to recognize that you may be sending signals, because there’s something so adoring about the way you look at him—he’s certain there’s a spark. and it's then when he realizes he's fallen. very hard.

and there’s no way for him to be straightforward about it. would it be abuse of power if the all might went and confessed everything he felt towards his younger, new-in-the-field pro hero and coworker? would you be pressured into reciprocating because of who he is?

he’s assuring himself that if you were to be interested, you’d be interested for what he once was. he was the symbol for everything: peace, hope, sex—you name it, he's been it for decades. he's sure that you're chasing the idea of him, and not what he has become.

the best way to push someone away is to show what makes you ugly, right? the next thing you know, you're calling him by his surname because he asks you to, and when it's two in the morning and both of you can't sleep...

you see him outside the dorms. sitting down, lanky arms wrapped around his legs. you knew the teaching faculty was a bit secretive with him around you at first, and this was why. when he asks if you can't sleep and you nod, he looks at you with the most melancholic expression, daring to ask a single question.

he gestures to his torso. “you want a bedtime story, kid?”

toshinori yagi talks. he talks a lot. he’s telling you of the gruesome fight five years ago, of his declining health, and his fears for the future. he talks so much, in fact that he’s asking you if you can keep a secret, and talks about how his search for a successor had come to an end when he came to ua. it’s during this moment that you realize there’s more to your attraction to him than your brain let on.

and he realizes something too. he feels comfortable with you, and you remind him of home. but what’s home to toshinori yagi? he doesn’t have a clear answer, but he knows you resemble it. you’re easy to be around, and as he would come to find later on, you’re easy to love.

yet he pushes every happy thought away, his mind clouded with doubt. you scoot closer to him, and his hand unconsciously reaches for yours. as soon as he realizes it, though, he's pulling his hand away and muttering an apology. and you insist, because you don't mind if it's him who does it. and his mind wanders.

"i really like you, yagi."

he's been broken out of his trance. he stares at you in disbelief, "you like me?"

you nod. "are you sure? you probably like the old me, like everyone else. it's just in your head, kid—"

"god fucking damn it i'm in love with you, toshinori."

and to toshinori yagi, it's hard to believe. his mouth falls agape because there is no barrier left to protect him now. you've broken every wall with a single sentence. so you continue.

"i love the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, i love how your two hair strands frame your face, i love the way you're always looking out for others, and how you go into your muscly form to cheer people on. i love your patience, and how dedicated you are when you truly love something. more than a great hero, you're a great person. you need me to go on? because i—"

"do you pity me?"

"do i need to pity you? i'm being genuine, yagi. kinda sucks to get brushed off like that, y'know?"

he stops for a moment.

"...i like you too. like—a lot. it's just hard. to process, i mean."

you look at him enamored. toshinori finally takes the first step and intertwines his fingers with yours. and for the first time in the whole night, he smiles. so wide.

"let's do this step by step, yeah? now let's get some sleep, old man. we have a class to teach tomorrow."