#its not that i HAVENT drawn at all . i got commissions and also the thing im working on has Quite a Bit of art

[bubblellop]

The good the bad and the angsty

(Fave oc + New oc + Old oc)

AHA I waasnt joking when i said i wanted to do an october prompt challenge , I am .very busy tho so my compromise is to combine some prompts and skip others (</3) so I dont stress myself out and finish this on .december

ANYWAY starting great by combining the three first prompts! You can guess which one is which ^^

[dearheartwitcher]

all of the questions for the art ask meme! :)

ouhh!! under the cut for u! <33

1. Art programs you have but don't use

loll i bought clip studio on sale but i havent drawn anything in it because i cant find a good dupe of my sai brush

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

hmm i guess left!

3. What ideas come from when you were little

lol every time i draw self insert im just feeding my inner 12 year old

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

rosiers moth form.......... i love him sooo much but i need to try redesigning that form... also im trying SO hard to learn how to draw bloodhound but they have so many fucking Pieces to their design😭

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

i would say i post a good majority of the art i make!! ive gotten worse at it in recent years, mostly because i keep wanting to save things to post at "peak hours" or whatever but i always forget lmfao. i dont usually keep things to myself intentionally

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

art that my friends make always inspires me the more i see from them! mostly in little ways that only i really notice lol

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

traditional painting is sooo nice... i especially love gouache... i like when traditional painters dont blend their work and use a ton of different colors as well. also people who draw traditionally and put stickers all over their work, i think that's phenomenal

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

oh god so many lol. one that comes to mind is i was going to make a little animatic with a tiktok sound of my dnd party but uh. one character died and the other two belong to people im no longer friends with due to two separate falling outs 😬

9. What are your file name conventions

i usually name them based on whats happening in the drawing! or just the character's name, if ive only drawn them once. i also have all my art sorted into folders by subject matter (commissions, dnd, ocs, etc) and by date

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

hmmm.... probably long sleeve tshirts/sweaters.... regular jeans can be fun too

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

ohh lots of things. i have a drawing playlist on youtube thats got a couple hundred videos on it, i also have a ton of spotify playlists. i either listen to something that fits the vibe of what im drawing, or something that will motivate me to stay in the zone lol

12. Easiest part of body to draw

boobs. sorry eyes <3

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

i cant think of one!!

14. Any favorite motifs

eyes and hearts maybe 🤔

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

usually just in my room! one of the best parts of having a laptop tbh is that i can just draw digitally in my room instead of using the computer in the living room

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

hmm. thats hard to say! maybe designing characters? i like to think that im pretty alright at making diverse characters, and i do enjoy it when they’re finished, but it takes soooo much of my brain power to do it lol. i love having little guys that i made but its so hard to make little guys!

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

not really tbh KJSHDF i tend to uh forget to eat or drink for long periods when im in The Zone.....dont be like me. have some orange slices

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

NONE haha digital 4life. i dont use screen tablets so my tablets last foreeeeever.

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

fried eggs :)

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

hmmm i cant think of anything. i Can shade black, which my bf struggles with, but its not something i need to do often lol

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

i love hyper-stylized art and lineless super colorful art!! theres probably more, thats just off the top of my head

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

none 😬 i rawdog it... i do some wrist stretches afterward most times tho

23. Do you use different layer modes

a little bit! mostly overlay + multiply on low opacity. i put them over a finished drawing to make the colors more cohesive!

24. Do your references include stock images

sometimes!

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

steven universe omg. like MAYBE back in 2015 or something it contributed to the way i use shapes a little bit but??? like i love the show, ive made fanart n shit! it just didnt contribute to my art style and i used to get that comparison A Lot

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

i cant think of one! i dont really do conceptual stuff so theres not usually a ton of room for misinterpretation

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

sometimes i do! my go-to doodles are fried eggs and little cartoony heads, but a warm up for me can even be a fully lined drawing lol

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

i participate in art fight every year!! ive been playing since 2018 :)

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

i think all media i love inspires me artistically!! even if it doesnt contribute to my art or anything, anything i love i spend a lot of time thinking about

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

um most of them imo AKLJSDHFSJ but thats the price of doing mostly oc art lol... people simply will not see your stuff

[swampgallows]

i know people are criticizing the medium article but im gonna say that the weird detectable undercurrent of sexual energy throughout stebebn univernse is 90% of the reason i absolutely could not get into it. i thought i was probably being too hypervigilant or sensitive or whatever but im kind of relieved that someone else said something about it. i mean, i know i AM more sensitive to it because im so staunchly ambivalent-to-repulsed by sexual media, but part of the reason for that is also because i have been so virulently exposed to a deluge of it as a preteen/teenager and throughout my life that i am trained to see where it is slipped in. 

ive borne witness countless times to the exact methodology rule34 creators use to ride the line between fetish and fan art or to infuse sinister messages into childrens media. having been groomed as a child, i am the end product of what happens when people are allowed to unleash these experiments. i see the threads where they groupthink together how to circumvent censors while also, for lack of a better word, dogwhistling their exact intentions in their ‘work’. shit like “she looks 10 but she’s actually 10,000 years old!” is just the tip of the iceberg.

i dont mind cartoons or media that look into exploring difficult or mature themes, especially if they revolve around consent or awkwardness with the subject or ‘not being ready’ or anything like that, and it’s okay (and imperative in fact) that kids be aware of that but 1. the emphasis on the inevitability and pleasure of ‘going through with it’ is terrifying and 2. why do they have to literally be prepubescent and 3. if youre gonna be super mature cool progressive cartoon then be upfront about it and call it what it is, or be more direct, instead of hiding it behind these subtle-but-not allusions that altogether just become more confusing than helpful. and i know this is hard to get past the censors, but im not just referring to sex stuff

i’m not even involved in estebans universario and i still remember the fucking shitload of discourse surrounding lapis??? and jasper, and how people couldnt decide whether or not the relationship was abusive, couldnt decide whether or not the decisions made were correct, who was manipulating who, and shit like that. and to me if your fans, especially adult fans, have zero concrete takeaway from you “tackling” those subjects, then how the fuck are children supposed to interpret it in a helpful way? 

i know irl shit isnt always so cut and dry, but that’s exactly why you see ten bajillion posts on here of people setting very basic standards of things like “IF THEY HIT YOU, LEAVE.” it’s a non-negotiable parameter. as an adult things can get complicated, and relationships always are, but when you have these clearly defined red flags it’s how you avoid situations that deliberately construct themselves in a way to break down your boundaries and control you. whether through sex or emotional manipulation or other avenues of abuse, that’s why you need these messages, especially targeted to children, to be loud and CLEAR

now like i said i never finished the show, i barely got into it and i was not entertained for the near two seasons i watched so im not inviting discussion of shit i havent watched or “well actually this and that happened in the episode so--” im saying that i saw the reception of it and it was completely bonkers ass shit. the response wasnt about whether or not the discussion was appropriate for a kids show; it was that nobody had a clear perception of what the resolution was even supposed to be

i dunno man the huge fucking inundation of porn every which fucking way is a HUGE deterrent for me getting into the art or animation industry. like it has actively repelled me from making art or honing my craft or whatever the fuck because the blatant expectation for me to make porn is so suffocating. if you offer commissions and dont make nsfw and you are an adult, people look at you like you’re crazy. people tell you you’re making a mistake, that it’s a ‘bad business model’ to not accept porn commissions, and that you aren’t a REAL artist if you havent drawn some porn on the side. and i sincerely feel like that isn’t an issue in any other creative field; that youre not a REAL actor if you havent been in at least a couple of porn films; that youre not a REAL musician if you havent scored porn; that you arent a REAL sculptor if you havent made at least one dildo, or some shit like that. i understand that illustration is the most expedited delivery of porn, but i dont want to be part of a community where everybody is glib about paying their bills with porn of kids cartoons and are okay with it and then go on to CREATE kids cartoons where they can give wink wink nudge nudges to their fellow porn artists.

i think this is the exact same fucking thing as ‘fandom’ having issues with ‘purity culture’; that they dont realize (or dont want to admit) that theyre bedfellows with “real” pedophiles and are providing them the shelter and the fuel they need to operate. sure a storyboard artist making some nsfw ‘on the side’ isn’t the same as chris savino or john lasseter or john k’s real tangible sexual misconduct, but it does provide the basis by which everybody who has been wink-wink nudge-nudging enforces the dissolution of boundaries and escalates these people to the top. if you form a coalition of people who all make childrens cartoons while winking (actually we are masturbating to this), you will attract the people who are winking (actually i am doing this). 

having been abused for years by people cut from this cloth im sensitive to this obviously and my thoughts are scattered but ultimately like i dont really think it’s a non-progressive thing to shame people for making porn of kids cartoons. the internet is no longer a secret clubhouse where the hustler mags are hidden in one of the loose bricks. it’s extremely fucking public and i feel like the LEAST these people can do is have a separate alias for this bullshit and to draw distinct lines in the sand for the kind of talent they hire. the problem is, too, that a lot of artists make their living by doing porn or are just drawn toward porn in general. but essentially the clincher is like... sure, go ahead and draw porn but... child porn? a dude makes porn of your teenage cartoon characters and you hire him????

“What kind of culture should industry figures encourage around the kids’ cartoons they work on? And where is the line drawn when artists with backgrounds like ZONE’s — an animator who has worked on Jones-Quartey’s own series — cross over into mainstream children’s entertainment? 

[...]

The public flirtation of children’s media with artists like these doesn’t just risk exposing kids to porn — it normalizes the entire idea of hypersexuality being present in children’s spaces, often in its most extreme forms. [...] It’s a systemic problem that will only grow if it’s left unaddressed.“

it’s a corporate level, systemic problem. i hate the culture and the community that’s allowing this to happen, and i hate that there are slowly becoming fewer and fewer bastions of endearing, safe, quality environments for children to thrive and develop without a thousand subliminal tendrils permeating cute characters and fun stories

[mycatmoo]

The Great Escape (Oumota Weekend)

Oumota weekend

Villain vs Superhero

“So this is it. The final battle.” A voice said out of nowhere as Kaito, Maki, and Shuichi entered the final room of the villains lair.  

“Huh?” Kaito asks, looking around the dark room. He could barely see a foot in front of him, and he most certainly couldn’t see their enemy.

“Such a shame too. This is the most fun I’ve had in a loooong time.” The voice says with a dramatic sigh.

“Show yourself, Kokichi. We know its you.” Maki hisses.

“Maaan, still quite bitchy, huh, Maki Roll? Weell, if you INSIST. It is quite boring to have a conversation with people who cannot see me.” Kaito waited with baited breath to see the person the three of them has been chasing for a long time.

For some reason Kaito didn’t understand, he felt excited to see the smaller boy, but also anxious. Seeing him again would mean they would have to fight, and this fight would mean that they would never get to see him again. And something about the thought of never seeing Kokichi again made Kaito feel… hollow.

They waited a bit. Then a bit longer. Then a little bit longer. But still, he didn’t show up.

“Uh… where is he?” Shuichi asks, looking around. After that, they heard a “nishishi” come from behind them. Turning around, the three saw Kokichi in all his glory, wearing his cape and hat.

Immediately, Maki whipped out her gun, and pointing it at Kokichi.  

“Aah come on Maki Roll! Don’t be like that! After all, the villain is supposed to give a villainous monologue before the big fight! It would be no fun if you put a gun to my head beforehand!”

“So give that monologue so I can shoot you and get this done with.”

“Maaan. You always were a buzzkill. Definitely my least favorite out of your little band of heroes. By the way, where’s Kaede and Rantaro? Seems strange that you’d leave them out.”

“They stayed in case anything went wrong.” Shuichi explained.

“Well then wouldn’t it have made more sense to bring Kaede along instead of you? After all, if what you’re thinking does happen and I wind up defeating you, wouldn’t it make more sense to have “the heart” there to keep you all going instead of “the smart guy?”

“What are you going on about this time?” Kaito asks.

“Oh, you know. Just me being me. Just spouting out random nonsense that comes to my brain.”

“That has to be a lie. You never just “spout out random nonsense that comes to your brain.” Maki growls, eyes narrowing.

“Aaah man. Ya caught me. Yes, there was a point.” Kokichi says with faux disappointment, his smile still present on his face.

“So what were you talking about?” Kaito asks, putting his hand behind his head in confusion.

“If you beat me I’ll tell you! After all, I still haven’t given my villainous monologue!”

“So get to it.” Maki growls.

“Alright alright, you don’t have to rush me!

…

…

..

Oh would you look at the time, seems I gotta blast.” Kokichi says with a laugh.

‘What?”

“Well, as it turns out, I’m not actually the final boss! The boss has finally entered the room!” And with that, Kokichi runs to the door, throwing it open then slamming it shut. Kaito hears a click come from the door, and when Maki (after chasing after Kokichi) tried opening it, she found it locked.

“Its locked.” She simply says. Then, the three of them were pounded with a blinding light. It took a bit, but soon enough, Kaito adjusted to the light.

“Thaaaat’s right losers! The dude you were following all this time? He was just a ploy! I am the actual mastermind behind everything!” A voice announces. Turning to the front of front of the room, he could finally see the rest of the room. It was like a throne room, with massive windows, elaborately decorated, and a red carpet leading to massive throne. And sitting on the throne was a woman, about their age, with pinkish-blonde hair in two ponytails.

Kaito immediately recognized who it was. It was the woman who had helped them multiple times throughout this journey.

Junko Enoshima.

-

“Gotta get to the secret door, quickly.” Kokichi mutters, rushing around the floating airship that his “boss,” Junko, calls her villainous home.

He knew from the beginning that Junko was the big bad terrorizing the city. After the first bank robbery where the only thing left was a simple black and white bear hairpin, he knew it. And he knew he had to stop her.

He was one of her first “followers”, and got to the second highest rank rather quickly.

She didn’t have a clue about his plan to stop her.

As he ran through the passageway leading to the throne room, he could feel his heart rushing. His brain was working in overload. He could stop worrying that his plan would fail.

That any of those three would get hurt.

That Kaito would get hurt.

At the thought of Kaito getting hurt, he shoved the feeling into a box labeled “repression.”

It wouldn’t matter what his opinion of the “hero” was, he had more important things to worry about.

Soon, he got to the door. Grabbing a taser gun attached on his pants, hidden by his cape (he left his hat on the run here) he opened the door slowly. Looking around, he saw what he estimated would happen. Junko giving a monologue while holding Shuichi to her, holding a gun to his head. Kaito, with his sword drawn, was trying to talk her out of it, while Maki looked around for a solution.

Junko had her back to him. Good. He could work with this.

Walking out slowly, he sneaks closer to Junko, making sure he cannot hear his footsteps.

It was Kaito who saw him first. He looked about ready to say something to Kokichi, but Kokichi put his finger to his mouth in a “shh” way. As soon as he got close enough to Junko, he raised his taser, and shot her square in the back.

With a scream, Junko let go of Shuichi as she fell to her knees, shaking from the taser.

“Shuichi!” Kaito immediately exclaims, rushing over to the shaking boy and throwing his arm over his shoulder.

“Come on you three!” Kokichi immediately yells, rushing over to the secret door.

“Wait, what about Junko?!” Kaito immediately calls.  

“There is something MUCH more important to worry about right now!” Kokichi yells back, throwing open the secret door and turning around.

“And why should we trust you?” Maki asks with eyes narrowed.

“Just trust me. I’ll explain later.” And with that, Kokichi rushes through the door, not looking back to see if the three of them was following. With Junko out of commission for a little while, he could focus on the more threatening person to his plan. Monaca. His mind set, he rushes over to the control room of the ship.

Behind him, he could hear three sets of footsteps. So they WERE following him. Good. His plan was going swelly.

In fact, it was going too swell. Something about that didn’t sit right with Kokichi.

Soon enough, the group was at the control room. Putting his eye to the eye scanner, Kokichi opens the door. Peering inside, he didn’t see the little girl.

Good.

“Come in. I’ll explain.” Kokichi says, walking into the room. Letting the other three enter, he closed and locked the door.

“Why did you lock the door?” Maki asks, glaring at Kokichi.

“Relaaax. Its locked from the inside. Press the red button and you can leave.” Kokichi sighs dramatically, walking up to the computer. “Aaaanyway. As for the reason I stopped you from killing Junko and ending this here, well… It’s simple really.” Kokichi says, digging in his pocket for a flashdrive. Finding it, he sticks it into the computer, turning it on.

“If you DID kill her, it would initiate plan two of her Destroy the World plan.”

“What?!” Kaito exclaims.

“How would killing Junko be the start of a plan two?” Maki asks.

“All of her followers would be enraged… They would follow her plan to end the world if she died…”

“Ya. That’s why we have to defeat her without killing her.” Kokichi says, half paying attention. He had to take control of the ship and manage to pilot it to where DICE was hiding. From there, the police would swoop in and arrest everyone inside.

This plan would only work today. He fought tooth and nail to get all of the Remnants of Despair inside the ship today, and this was likely his one shot.

Only a few people knew of the secret door, and Junko would likely be able to narrow it down to him.

“Need help with that?” Kaito asks, surprising Kokichi slightly.

“Nishishi. I doubt YOU of all people would know what to do here!”

“Well it looks like you’re having some trouble with that.”

“Aaah. Does Kaito-chan CARE for me? The guy who was harassing you for how long?”

“Well it’s obvious that you are actually a good guy!”

“I prefer “anti-hero” y’know. Their more fun than just a boring old good guy. Just like you!”

“HEY!”

“Aaaand… Got it.” Kokichi mutters.

“Got what?” Shuichi asks.

“The wheel to this thing it based off your fingerprints. And it doesn’t recognize my fingerprints. I had to hack the system to reset the fingerprints. Sooo.. does any of you know how to drive an aircraft?”

“Wait, you don’t know? Isn’t all of this YOUR plan?” Maki asks.

“Uh yea. I know how to drive one of these things. But I just saved your asses. I think it’s time I get a break.”

“...Fine. I’ll do it.” Maki says with a sigh.

“Great! Put your fingers on that thing!” Kokichi announces, pointing to a small circle near the steering wheel. Putting her fingers on it, a robotic voice announces;

“Fingerprints detected. Allowing access to steer the ship.”

“Alright, where am I taking this thing?”

“Here.” Kokichi says, pulling up a map on the computer, inputting an area, and setting it to give directions.

“Alright. Lets go.” Maki sighs, grabbing the steering wheel, allowing the computer to give her directions on where to go.

-

When Kaito saw Kokichi sneaking up behind Junko, he felt his heart skip a beat. At first he felt anxious, scared that Kokichi was going to shoot one of them. But then he realized something when he pointed that gun at Junko.

He was on their side the entire time.

Suddenly, so much made sense. From the multiple encounters he had with Kokichi, he said many cryptic things. But now, seeing this, he realized their meaning.

He was alluding to his plan, and how he was going to betray Junko.

So, without another thought, he followed Kokichi.

Why did his heart skip a beat when he realized this?

And now, looking at the smaller boy sitting in the corner with his eyes closed, though not really sleeping, he saw him in a new light. And why is Kaito’s heart beating so fast?

“Uuh Kaito? Can you stop staring? Its kinda creeping me out.”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” Kaito says, quickly turning his head away.

“Neeheehee.” Kokichi says. Despite trying his best to make it not seem like he’s tired, Kaito could tell that he was. Scooting up to the smaller boy, he attempts to strike up a conversation.

“So, all this time, you were just playing Junko?”

“Yup!”

“And you were on our side the entire time?”

“Well I wouldn’t say I was on YOUR side. I was on MY side, which just happened to align with your side.”

“So about that conversation we were having before you ran off?”

“I told you. I’d tell you what I meant if you beat me, and you didn’t, sooo…”

“Ah come on, man!”

“What? You wanna fight? I still got my taser!”

“If either of you fight then I am turning this ship around.” Maki growls.

“Sorry Maki Roll.”

“Stop calling me Maki Roll.”

And the conversation started up again from there. Granted, Kokichi and Kaito DID get into an argument. Like pretty much every other encounter they’ve had. But whatever, it’s kind of expected at this point.

Eventually though, there was a knock at the door. Then another. Then a lot more.

“Huh. Guess she finally decided to show up.” Kokichi sighs, getting up and pulling out a small taser and a strange bomb. Walking over to a small trunk, he removes two strange hammers, handing them to Kaito.

“Who?” Shuichi asks.

“Monaca. She’s the technician of the group. She’s the person I was most concerned about.”

“What are these?” Kaito asks, looking strangely at the hammers.

“Electrohammers. Hit a touch, they can knock out any electronics. Monaca’s power comes from primarily from electronics, so these will be useful. And these.” Kaito says, holding up the bombs. “Are electrobombs. They block out electromagnetic waves.”

“Ah. So we’re going to have to fight robots?” Shuichi asks, grabbing a hammer.

“Most likely. Maki, don’t stop steering. No matter what.”

“I can’t promise anything.” Maki sighs.

“Alright. Let’s do this.” Kokichi says, holding up the taser, facing the door just as it opens. Just outside the door, Kaito could see a little girl with green hair.

“Huh? You technician, and the one you were most worried about, was a little girl?” Kaito asks incredulously.

“Don’t judge a book by its cover. I’m pretty fearsome.” Monaca says with her creepy smile. “You did so well, getting to this point. It took us a while to realize that you incapacitated Big Sis Junko and that you were here.”

“Nishishi. Glad you’re proud of me.” Kokichi says, putting his hand behind his head.

“Too bad that all that work was for nothing. You are a traitor, and I will not let you get in the way of Big Sis Junko’s plan.” And with that, 5 robots appeared behind Monaca. “Have fun.” Monaca says in a sing song voice, stepping behind the robots.

“Okay, the electrohammers will only be able to knock out one of exisals. There are 6 inside the trunk. I’m going to go for Monaca.” Kokichi whispers to the two boys. “Lets go.” And with that, the three of the charged.

Kaito immediately went for the exisal closest to him, a yellow one. They didn’t seem to expect this, and Kaito managed to get a clear hit on the exisal’s leg. With a sputter, the robot slumped to the ground. While he didn’t see it, Kaito felt Kokichi run past him, and past the exisal. Next to him, Kaito saw Shuichi knock out a pink one.

“Good job Shuichi! That’s my sidekick!” Kaito called with a thumbs up.

“Hey knuckleheads! Focus on the robots instead of your bromance!” Kokichi shouts, nearly dodging an arm of a red exisal swinging at him.

“Kokichi!” Kaito yells, running inside the control room. Throwing his used electrohammer, he grabs two more, Shuichi grabbing one, and runs back out. Charging at the red exisal harassing Kokichi, he swings at it, knocking that one out. He could hear Shuichi knocking out an exisal behind him. “You alright?”

“Yea, thanks.” Kokichi says without thinking, charging after Monaca, who ran away. Quickly taking out the last exisal, Kaito chases after Kokichi, throwing his two electrohammers in a random direction again.

“Stay with Maki! I’m going to help Kokichi!” Kaito yells to Shuichi as he runs. He didn’t wait for a response. Despite trying his best though, Kaito wasn’t able to keep up with Kokichi. Soon enough, he lost track of him.

Skidding to a stop, Kaito has only one thing to say. “Shit.”

Without another thought, Kaito starts running again, this time following his gut. And it seemed like his gut was right, as he soon heard a loud bang and a scream.

“Kokichi!” Kaito yells, running to where he heard the scream. Quickly, he throws the door open, and sees a simple room. Kokichi was kneeling, holding an area in his stomach, with Monaca standing over him, a gun in her hand.

Without another thought, Kaito rushes Monaca, pulling the gun out of her hand, and shoving her away from Kokichi.

“Stay away from him, you brat!” Kaito yells, standing in between the two of them.

“Kaito…” Kokichi says weakly, before Kaito heard a small thud from behind him.

“Kokichi!”

“You’re too late. Kokichi is going to die.” Monaca says cheerfully.

“Fuck you!”

“That’s a harsh thing to say to a kid.”

“I don’t care! Just come here, you brat!” Kaito yells, rushing at Monaca again, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder.

“Let go of me!” Monaca cries, kicking and screaming. Not affected by the weak kicks and punches from the 8-something or other year old, Kaito gently picks up a knocked out Kokichi, rushing back to the control room.

“Shuichi! Help me!” He says as soon as he gets there. Upon seeing the heavily bleeding Kokichi, Shuichi gets to work, attempting to slow the bleeding. Kaito puts the still screaming Monaca in the corner, blocking the doorway.

From there, Kaito was mostly in a daze. Before he knew it, the ship landed and police rushed inside. They put Kokichi in an ambulance, and he was rushed to the nearest hospital. And before he knew it, Kaito was passed out at the side of Kokichi’s bed, head resting on the side of his bed.

-

“Ngh..” Kokichi groans tiredly. He couldn’t feel anything. He couldn’t see anything. And he was too tired to process anything. It felt like forever where he laid there, nothing happened, before he slowly opened his eyes. It was blurry at first. Okay, for a while. But soon enough, he got his vision back. He got his senses back. And he could finally feel stuff. He felt something in his arm. He felt warmth from the blanket. Soon enough, Kokichi realized he was in a hospital.

It took him a bit, but soon he remembered what sent him into the hospital in the first place.

“Kaito…” Kokichi whispers, too tired to be any louder. His voice was cracky, as if he hadn’t used it in a long time. Which was likely.

...How did he survive?

Managing to look around, he saw Kaito, sitting on the side of his bed, head on said bed, sleeping. He looked so peaceful.

Kokichi could feel his heart flutter. And this time, he was too tired to bury it. His box labeled “repression” burst open. Kokichi couldn’t help himself after that. Despite being tired, he slowly and shakily raised a hand to Kaito’s face with a tired smile.

When Kaito stirred slightly from the touch, Kokichi’s hand gave out. He started drifting off to sleep again. But Kokichi had one last thought before sleep consumed him again.

That he loved Kaito, and since Kaito was the one worriedly by his side when he was hurt, he likely did as well.

[thisweekingundamwing]

This Week in Gundam Wing 16-22 September 2018

Here’s this week’s roundup!

Remember to give your content creators some love! And join in on the events at the bottom!

~Mod Hel

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

@anaranesindanarie​

Tequila (Ch. 5-6) https://archiveofourown.org/works/15935852/chapters/37476614

Trowa Barton/Duo Maxwell, Long Meilan/Hilde Schbeiker, Catherine Bloom/Abdul Kurama

Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Heero Yuy, Hilde Schbeiker, Long Meilan, Chang Wufei, Catherine Bloom, Abdul Kurama, Rashid Kurama, Sister Helen, Solo, Maxwell Shinpu | Father Maxwell

Past Relationships, bad breakups, Tequila, Weddings, Car problems, love you so much I hate you

Summary: It’s been four years since Trowa and Duo broke up, and now Trowa is back in town.

@coffeetailor​

Dragon in My Hand (Ch. 10) https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056813/chapters/37376210

Chang Wufei/Treize Khushrenada/Zechs Merquise, Chang Wufei/Treize Khushrenada, Treize Khushrenada/Zechs Merquise, Chang Wufei/Zechs Merquise

Chang Wufei, Treize Khushrenada, Zechs Merquise

Shrinking, Macro/Micro

Hit by a strange and experimental weapon, Wufei finds himself shrunken down to four inches tall, and in the hands of the enemy. Though with the way he's being treated, how long will he be able to call them that?

@gundamwing-ellesmith​

WIP Wednesday http://gundamwing-ellesmith.tumblr.com/post/178250927280/wip-wedensday

Elle’s take on FT Part 4

@helmistress​

Hemlock Grove (Ranch) Bar & Grill https://archiveofourown.org/works/16060238

WuFei Chang/Meilan Long, WuFei Chang/Heero Yuy, Triton Bloom/Duo Maxwell

I kill Cathy. Meilan. and an unborn child in this fic. They are off screen and simply mentioned. But I do it.

Heero is a Chef, WuFei owns a Construction Company, Duo works for WuFei, Triton and Cathy had owned a Ranch., Now Triton owns a Bar and Grill., Quatre is an artist.

Cocktail Friday

Oh, no. WuFei’s eyes closed and he sighed through his nose. “Duo...” But it was too late. The fae creature that was his second in command was already flitting to Triton’s side, a smirk on his face.

@lifeaftermeteor​

Snippet Saturday https://lifeaftermeteor.tumblr.com/post/178360943804/essaouira-morocco-26-march-210-trowa-had

Trowa in Morocco

@noirangetrois​

Snippet Saturday https://noirangetrois.tumblr.com/post/178361225052/snippet-saturday

Okay, it’s now been two Fridays in a row that I haven’t published a new chapter of Waves and a Wedding and I’m feeling rather guilty about it…. life and writer’s block have been conspiring against me. I do, however, have a small bit of the next chapter for your enjoyment. Hopefully I’ll have the rest of it ready for next Friday, @kangofu-cb​!

Fanart:

@cree8ur​

https://cree8ur.tumblr.com/post/170775213161/relena-peacecraft-an-advocate-of-pacifism

Relena Darlian/Peacecraft (something I missed last week)

@lemontrash​

https://lemontrash.tumblr.com/post/178348677174/got-seated-by-a-sports-team-fat-breakfast-also

The Lemon and Duobat

https://lemontrash.tumblr.com/post/178227422194/its-a-tiny-duobat-adventure-reply-to-this-post

The Adventures of Duobat!

@mondaijo​

http://mondaijo.tumblr.com/post/178280694594/commission-for-lifeaftermeteor-for-her-fic-it-all

Heero, WuFei, & Duo

@saffronic​

http://saffronic.tumblr.com/post/178159037509/just-hearing-heero-laugh-like-that-put-a-chill-up

Duo Maxwell

http://saffronic.tumblr.com/post/178161105739/space-kids-not-used-to-earthly-weathers

Duo Maxwell, WuFei Chang

http://saffronic.tumblr.com/post/178162102044/hearing-duo-bicker-with-the-other-pilots-bubbled

WuFei Chang

@satelliteinasupernova​

http://satelliteinasupernova.tumblr.com/post/178329990604/i-havent-drawn-them-in-so-long-that-i-feel-like

Heeor Yuy & Relena Darlian/Peacecraft

@string-gw​

https://string-gw.tumblr.com/post/178134003291

Treize and Van Khushrenada

Photosets/Screenshots:

@animethingsandstuff​

http://animethingsandstuff.tumblr.com/post/178217793245

Heero, Duo, WuFei, Trowa, Quatre, Gundams...

Head Canons:

@lifeaftermeteor​

https://lifeaftermeteor.tumblr.com/post/178328261012

Duo Maxwell

Chats/Discussions:

@anaranesindanarie​

https://anaranesindanarie.tumblr.com/post/178327457054/important-question

Solo’s Gundam

@robo-rad​

http://robo-rad.tumblr.com/post/178162894833/can-i-just-say-how-glad-i-am-that-the-gundam-wing

About Heero

Quotes/Dialogues:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes​

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178160953204/heero-okay-im-gonna-go-duel-zechs-duo-but

Heero & Duo

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178360970232/quatre-come-on-okay-youre-beautiful-and-you

Quatre & Duo

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178346356984/relena-compliment-me-heero-uh-you-you-have

Relena & Heero

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178346361129/on-a-mission-wufei-okay-we-need-to-think

WuFei, Duo, & Heero

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178346371334/sister-helen-let-me-see-what-you-have-little

Sister Helen & Duo

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178328285683/heero-dont-underestimate-us-duo-the-gundam

Heero & Duo

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178302059511/heero-the-doctor-said-that-i-was-perfectly-fine

Heero & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178274368213/duo-haha-me-i-swing-both-ways-duo-violently

Duo

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178244552239/quatre-my-tiny-human-body-isnt-big-enough-to

Quatre

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178256387374/duo-im-doomed-heero-well-you-lived-a-good

Duo & Heero

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178176970328/reactions-to-i-would-die-for-you

Duo, Dorothy, Quatre, Relena, WuFei, Heero, Zechs, Noin, Sally, Une, Hilde, Trowa

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178229323202/treize-roses-are-red-violets-are-bluesunflowers

Treize & Une

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178167639288/une-to-the-gundam-pilots-turned-preventers-im

Une

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178238797989/trowa-oh-no-you-dont-want-to-befriend-me-im-a

Trowa & Quatre

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178106856349/zechs-look-noin-you-have-to-treat-a-mobile-suit

Zechs & Noin

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/178003928238/heero-point-is-we-need-to-break-into-that

Heero, Trowa, & Duo

Calendar Events:

@gwcocktailfriday​

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, between 3 & 5 pm EST.

Here’s the prompt for Friday September 28th! https://gwcocktailfriday.tumblr.com/post/178345480540/cocktail-friday-post-responses-on-friday

@gwoc-october​

Idea Generator 2 https://gwoc-october.tumblr.com/post/177537944075/idea-generator-2

Come throw out ideas for this OC October!

Tenative Calendar https://gwoc-october.tumblr.com/post/178002311735/tentative-calendar-please-if-there-are-more

Please let us know if things should be added or moved around!

@lifeaftermeteor​

https://lifeaftermeteor.tumblr.com/post/177748352595/spooky-gw-shenanigans

Spooky Shenanigans at @gw-horror​

@simulacraryn

Heero Yuy Month https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/177808907580/iso-more-heero-yuy-fanpeople

The Month of January (obviously, as it’s 01 *winks*)

Stay tuned for more news!

@terrablaze514

Diamonds in Stars Challenge https://terrablaze514.tumblr.com/post/173450296307/calling-all-gundam-wing-fans

I'm reopening this fun challenge for the Fanbase! OT5 (platonic, friendship, romantic, etc.).

Oneshot fics and poems welcome.

Have fun!

*Ends TODAY!*

[stellar-stag]

Wow it’s been a while since I did a personal update here huh

I’ve honestly transitioned a lot of my venting/personal stuff to twitter

(I promise I havent abandoned you for my furry friends)

(I kinda have)

(I totally have)

(sorry)

But I feel like the last couple months have been a whirlwind for me, so I may as well keep y’all in the loop. I’m gonna sort these by topic.

First off, I had some issues with my romantic feelings. There’s a guy, a very very good friend, who is just fantastic in so many ways. Friendly and kind and supportive, progressive and enthusiastic, and shares so many of my interests. Seems natural that I would fall for him, right?

Well I did, and it resulted in a lot of emotional duress.

He has a girlfriend, and I knew this going in, but I didn’t fight my attachment. In the process of admitting my feelings to him and working through everything, I learned a lot about myself and got some practice in controlling my emotional state and how I react to things. But I also relied on him as an emotional crutch and used him for validation, especially during some particularly low emotional points, which is unfair to him. It is only because he is immensely understanding that we remain close friends, and this could have easily resulted in disaster.

But through this process I have grown, and identified a new issue blocking me from being of completely sound mind: Low self-esteem and reliance on others for validation. During my more anxious periods, I would slip into joking self-deprecation, and somewhere along the way it stopped being so joking. But surely, now that I’m taking meds for anxiety it would stop, right? Well, no. Turns out, even if I stopped consciously having thoughts of “Wow, I’m so bad at this”, I didn’t automatically gain appreciation or acceptance of myself. This manifests in a particularly dangerous manner when guys who are attractive are nice to me. 

I end up conflating kindness with romantic intent, and decide that obviously, if someone doesn’t have romantic interest in me, I must be irreparably flawed in some way. This is bullshit, and I consciously understand that, but my subconscious doesn’t play by the rules. So I end up in a self-loathing spiral that only manifests in periods of intense romantic desire, and a month later I’m exhausted, bruised, and have run the risk of alienating those around me who care about me.

So how to fix it? I suppose I’ll need to work on drawing validation from within, so that rejection feels less of a condemnation of my character and everything I am. It won’t be simple, to be sure, but understanding the issue is the key to overcoming it. 

Here’s hoping.

Secondly: I started working out! As of today, March 24th, I have been to the gym 12 times this month (half the days, holy shit) and thats because I, last week, decided to go from 3 workouts a week to 5, solely because I wanted to. If you told me a year ago that I would, of sound mind and body and my own volition, wake up every weekday at 5:45am to go workout for an hour, and enjoy the experience, I would have called you a liar. 

But I am, and I do. I think it’s benefitting my mental health and self confidence, and I’m thankful that I’m in a place where its even an option. This is only possible due to a coalition of so many factors: A free gym in my office and a natural predilection to waking up early to remove barriers, I started taking Vyvanse in January to aid in my attention issues (not sure if I have ADD/ADHD or what, but it’s helping me remained focused in all aspects of my life and for that I am grateful). And, of course, two people who aided in the impetus for beginning and making it a habit: My dad, for giving me crippling self-worth issues my entire life and then visiting in February and criticizing my health and weight (because I was sweating after walking up a hill, which more and more I realize is not actually an indicator of my exertion! I am just a person who sweats easily, and its more a function of temperature and endocrine system than anything else) and giving me the sheer spite to begin working out, and the guy I was crushing on (who is intensely into working out, and I wanted to impress him. Yeah, I was hella thirsty. Sue me). 

Regardless of the reasoning, I found that (once I cut cardio because seriously, fuck cardio), I enjoy working out in the mornings. It’s calming to wake up by exertion and then cool down slowly at my desk before other people even wake up. It’s given rise to a ritual of sorts where I get to my desk, deal with my emails, make breakfast and tea, all before anyone shows up, so that I can really hit the ground running. And more than that, I don’t have a goal in mind. I’m doing this because I know it’s good for me and I want to be healthy, and I enjoy the exertion and following “good” tiredness. If I was trying to lose weight or trim  fat, or stuck only to cardio, I would have given up by now. But its a habit, and I love it, and I’m sleeping better, eating better, and feeling better.

Again, this is only possible because of an alignment of several factors, but I’m thankful for it, and I’m glad I got out of the mindset that “workouts must suck but people do them because they wanna lose weight”. You don’t gotta do anything you don’t want to do, and I wish I had realized that sooner. Im feeling way better about my body, even, because despite the fact that I haven’t lost weight or gotten trimmer from working out, I know I’m eating (pretty) well and working out, and that my body does everything I need it to. I can take pride in the callouses on my hands and the soreness of my body, because they’re proof of dedication, exertion, and effort, and those are way better things to feel good about than shape and size, anyways. If people think I’m unhealthy because I have fat, they can suck it.

Thirdly, I’ve begun looking for a condo to buy! Housing in the bay area is STUPID EXPENSIVE (and yes everyone knows this, and I know this, but it bears repeating). But I can put a down payment on a one bedroom in a good location, and I’m prequalified for a loan, and I just need to keep waiting and pouncing on leads. I think I’ll be happier living by myself with a kitchen to myself, and still going out to social events to prevent becoming a hermit. Plus, with this setup I can maybe bring dudes back and not have to show them the pigsty that is our living room or the shoebox that is my bedroom. I was terrified at the start of this process, but my mom and the realtor have been awesome about taking this step by step and ensuring nothing is confusing or surprising, which is sweet.

Fourthly, possibly because I’ve been taking Vyvanse but also possibly because I’ve finally begun understanding what the hell I’ve been doing, I’ve really hit my groove at work. The project I’m working on is complex but interesting, challenging but well understood, and I don’t feel alone but still get to feel a sense of ownership. It’s not the most fulfilling thing ever (I don’t know that working on payments platforms for a corporation ever will be) but I enjoy work, I don’t loathe going to work, and despite the fact that I was sick as a dog all this week, I came in everyday (after working out) to work full productive days, and I was happy at the end of each of them, more or less. Its not perfect but its head and shoulders above what most people get from their jobs, and I’m immensely fortunate to be in this position.

Fifthly, this is more a continuation of already known things, but I’m making cool friends in the furry fandom. I’ve made good friends, some who I hope I will keep as friends for the rest of my life, and I’ve already made plans to go to Reno in June and Disneyworld in November to hang out and have fun with them. As nerve wracking as being an adult is sometimes, the freedom is something I wouldn’t trade for anything. 

Sixthly, I’ve been taking a creative writing workshop in SF! It finished last weekend and I’m happy to not need to commute each week anymore, but I learned a lot about reading like a writer and choices you can make as a writer to achieve desired effects. The workshop focuses on narrators and how who is telling the story tells it, and the model they use for exercises is SO HELPFUL. We would read an excerpt of something, discuss how the narrator/choices/tense/mood all work together, and then we would write something in a similar format about whatever we wanted. Lemme tell yall, that is so much more helpful to me as a student than just prompts. Having a guide to format is like drawing from references, its helpful and and great for learning and gives you the tools to make your own things later on. I highly recommend it, and I can’t wait to get back to my book. 

Got a lot of art to make first, though. I’ve definitely improved a lot in artistic skill and confidence, and I’m loving finding niche styles that I like and mimicking them. The stained glass pic I posted yesterday is proof of that, I feel. Its drawn from Mucha and various real life stained glass windows and a bit from Kingdom Hearts, but I took these and the tools at my disposal and wove it into something that feels complete. I figured out how to apply a cloudy “glass” texture, glows, stabilization, symmetry tools, pattern design, and more all through the process, and I know theres so much room to iterate and grow, in shading and coloring and proportion. But even knowing I have room to grow, I’m proud of what I put out and I put a lot of my heart into that piece (yes, its a birthday gift for workout boy. Shut up). I think I’m going to accept commissions for pictures in this style, even. It’s great fun.

So yeah, the last couple of months have been intense. I’ve had ups and downs, but I’ve learned and grown a lot, and I think I’m in a really good place in my life right now, and I hope that every one of you achieves a similar level of peace.