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#its smelling of something but im not saying what im smelling
animestsstuff2 · 3 days
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Twitterpated
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ProHeroHawks x VillainFem Reader
This lil story/fic will involve depictions of Hawks primal needs. I kinda feel with mutation quirks its pros and cons for all things and with that Hawks having a mate and a heat. Ya know he’s all twitterpated for you. This is a lil slow burn! You are a villain for the L.O.V. There will be character description but mainly on things like (light eyes glistened or hair fell over your face) otherwise up to you guys
Content warning: pretty chill first chapter just an intro really, some fighting, mention of injury, burning flesh. Potential spoilers if you haven’t watched to season 4/5 i think
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Hawks stood on top of a large telephone pole knocking back his coffee as he suppressed a yawn. He was on night patrol and this was only night one. His eyes watching over night life below. It wasn’t too busy after all since it was Monday but his eyes stayed narrowed as he scanned the lit streets and shadowed alley ways. His feathers out fluttering about for something..anything to give this ProHero something to do.
He tipped his head backwards body following as his wings bristled, something was going on and it excited him. His wings stretching out as they flew him forward to where he felt it where the rest of his feathers were gathering. He made his way to a lesser part of the big city his eyes scanning the smaller houses with overgrown gardens. His eyes scanning the area when he seen it. A bright blue flashing to his left and he swooped round, landing on the roof and stepping to the edge.
“L-Look! I-im sorry but I don’t have it right now!” Two people, a criminal and a civilian. Hawks crouched low as he watched the palm of the mans light up in blue flame. Hawks chewed his lip debating whether to step in as they hadn’t noticed him.
As a hero he should step in but as a double agent he should leave Dabi to his business. He decides on the latter giving a quick glance to the guy being threatened only to see hes already staring at Hawks. He feigns a look of care as he presses his index finger to his lips, getting up from his position he pulls a long feather from his wings. The fluffy plume now taut into a red blade. He moved to step off the roof when a hand reached round his mouth and the feeling of something sharp prod his back.
Hawks eyes widened genuinely as his body stilled. The feather in his hand fluffing out as he finally registered the person behind him. His brows furrowing as his own wings puffed out on instinct trying to grasp who this was and how they slipped by him. It was almost impossible not with his senses.
“Hey there birdy” He sucked in a breath as the sultry voice just giggled in his ear. He was no longer as sleepy as he was earlier. He opened his mouth not knowing what to say as his eyes fell back to the man only to see a blue flame lick him up. Hawks nose crinkled at the smell of burning flesh as the raven haired man spun round.
“Hey there pro” he grinned sending a nod most likely to whoever was behind Hawks. The hand was removed as the person stepped back and on instinct Hawks spun. The long feather once again pulled as sharp as a knife as he pushed the tip under the persons chin.
His hand faltered as his eyes met yours. A white cloth mask was pulled up over your nose but the bright moon made your eyes glow. His feather reduced to fluff as his mind for a moment drew blank and you only giggled at the supposed ProHero. You lifted a gloved hand up and gently pushed the feather aside. The action sending a tingle down his stomach and he straightened up. His wings were never sensitive, why now.
“Hey Angel, not a very nice way to act towards our dear friend here” Dabi’s voice broke Hawks from his thoughts as his head turned back to the scarred man who already had a cigarette in his mouth. Hawks watched as the girl before him jumped from the roof his preying eyes not missing the white that appeared when her cloak shifted from the fall. That white looked like feathers, like wings.
Hawks followed putting his bigger feather back as he sent out smaller plumes to survey the area and ensure no one was watching. His narrowed eyes watching the two villains before him.
“Did you really need to burn him Dabi? It always smells so bad” you whined as you crossed your arms moving closer to Hawks whose feathers bristled again.
“Stop whinin’ now especially after you begged me to let you come with” Dabi snapped back taking a drag of his cigarette.
“You gonna tell me what that was about? Save me n’ the commission some paperwork” Hawks asked, watching as Dabi’s mouth stretched into a humourless grin.
“Yeah? Yano, just cause the boss wants ya doesn’t mean im your buddy too” He grumbled and Hawks rolled his eyes at the mans antics.
“At least gimme a name and why you did it. You need me to kill another pro just so you’ll spill?” He hummed. His eyes flicking to the girl beside him, more specifically her hand that was reaching for his wings. He pivoted on his heel turning his body completely towards you as he grabbed your wrist tightly, narrowed eyes and slit pupils staring at you.
“Calm down Birdy. I just wanted to know if they were really as soft as everyone says” You teased sending him a wink. Hawks brows furrowed at your behaviour and just shoved your wrist away frustrated a villain was toying with him.
“His name is Ito Takashi. He owed the boss some money and wasn’t able to pay up so I took care of it” Hawks eyes glanced over to the embers of what was once a man, what once was a life and felt guilt chew at his heart. He, however, remained stoic and only rolled his eyes.
“Bit far burning him though” he observed and Dabi just shrugged as he eyed his companion. Her eyes focused on Hawks this entire time.
“Hmm, suppose I coulda used one of your little feathers to slice him huh” Dabi muttered as he reached a hand and plucked a red feather from Hawks wings. The mans bird like eyes honed in on the feather that sat in Dabi’s palm.
“I don’t think you’ll miss this one”
The blue flames swallowed it whole and Hawks suppressed the small sting in his back and rather focused his attention on the shove Dabi received from the all too quiet girl.
“What? You feel bad for the guy just cause you share the same quirk as him?” He teased as you shoved him again and slapped his arm. Hawks attention shifted as he stared at her now. You averted your gaze but Dabi only chuckled, reaching over and snatching the cloak from you. The metal broach snapping as the fabric lay on the ground.
Hawks eyes widened at the white wings that emerged from your back. They were almost the size of his own. His heart quickened as something stirred in his chest. The wings stayed tucked behind you but it was obvious how big they were for the curled far over your head and the bottom feathers lay on the grass at your feet. You were quick together the cloak from the ground and pull it back over your shoulders, clicking the broach back together as your eyes met Hawks.
“Get a good enough look little Bird?” You hummed but he could sense the anger in your tone. He relaxed his previously tense shoulders and glanced at Dabi.
“Yeah we got another you Hawks. Shes a beauty, names Angel, well obviously I can’t tell ya her real name. I wouldn’t let her wings deceive you..Shes far from holy” Dabi chuckled as he moved his attention to his phone and sighed.
“Alright Dove, crusty wants us back” Dabi turned and began waving his hand for you to follow. Your eyes finding Hawks already staring at you.
“Till next time Hawks don’t miss me too much” You chirped as you followed after Dabi. Hawks paused momentarily before taking to the sky, eyes scanning for the two villains only to find you both gone. His brows furrowed as he continued to fly over the city finding himself landing on the roof of a tall building.
A strange feeling was building in his chest as he crouched low. His eyes watching the city below but not really paying attention as his thoughts trailed back to you.
Who were you?
There was no way the commission didn’t know about you, especially with a quirk similar to his. If they did have information on you it most likely is old. The commission has intel on almost all of the criminals in Kyushu and surrounding areas, even if it was limited like Dabi’s or Shigaraki’s they would have something, so why didn’t he know about you? Why wasn’t he warned of someone like you, someone like him. The U.A student Tokoyami is one of the only other individuals Hawks knew to have a similar based quirk.
“Hmm..Angel” The name didn’t ring any bells either aside from church ones as he mulled over his thoughts, trying to distract himself from the continuing feeling in his chest.
This feeling only dragged further throughout Hawks night shift and when 8AM rolled round he was immediately through the balcony doors in his office. His body warm and feverish, feathers puffed and wings twitching as he headed out of his office, finding his assistant already at his desk with a pile of paper work. His head snapped up with a smile that dropped upon seeing the hero.
“Hawks! You don’t look so good are you okay?” Hawks waved him off. He could feel the sweat along his forehead. He didn’t need a mirror to know how bad he probably looked.
“Yeah, don’t worry just think chugging a bunch of coffees has got me all wired up. I left some documents on my desk of reports needing sorted. I’m on nights this week so i’ll leave anything for you on my desk each morning” his assistant only nodded slowly as the pro headed by and down the elevator, leaving his agency and taking to the skies as he quickly flew home.
He couldn’t strip fast enough. His boots kicked haphazardly off, next was his belt that got slung over the sofa. His gloves chucked in the hallway along with his cargos. His jacket shrugged off as he peeled his tight black shirt from his warm body and hit the shower button. The warm water that usually comforted his sore muscles made him recoil as he turned it to cold.
His forehead resting along the tiles as his wings stretched and continued twitching. His feathers unable to keep still as some smaller ones plucked themselves off and flew mindlessly around the bathroom. Hawks just sighed as his eyes closed, trying to ignore this feeling. He could be sick but he rarely ever gets sick, though its not like there isn’t medicine available to deal with this. His thoughts continued as he decided he’d call the doctors before he went to sleep. His hand running through his wet hair as his mind kept buzzing, skin stayed hot and wings tweaked.
Angel..
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forestlion · 2 years
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will florence pugh one day get the jennifer lawrence treatment. only time will tell
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camels-pen · 7 months
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consider sanuso bodyswap where Sanji is of course "admiring" Usopp's body and Usopp is trying desperately to keep himself from getting worked up so that he doesn't light himself on fire.
Luffy and Chopper are not helping. They are in fact doing the opposite of helping. They've ramped up their pranks and are doing anything possible to get Usopp angry so that he combusts, freaks out, and then dives into the ocean to put himself out. They think it's hilarious.
Nami and Brook are Also not helping, since they're conspiring with Sanji to put on a fashion show with Usopp's body. Sanji called it "not wasting a precious opportunity to get him in something other than overalls". Usopp called it mutiny and he was gonna- dive into the ocean, holy fuck Sanji why is it so easy to catch fire?!
Best part about this is that Sanji assured him, several times, that his body doesn't get hurt by catching fire. Usopp still jumps into the ocean every time.
Robin pipes up at one point, asking if Sanji was immune to just his own flames or all flames. Sanji just kind of shrugs and said it depends. Franky, having just been leisurely watching all of this gets an idea. Would his Franky Fireball hurt Sanji's body or just give him more fire to work with?
He tries to coax Usopp into agreeing to test it out and, somehow, he manages it. Albeit, Usopp is all knocking knees and chattering teeth, a very odd sight from 'Sanji'. As part of the deal though, he can only shoot a fireball the size of his hand.
Usopp meant his small hand. The one Franky used for tinkering and fine detail work. He did not, however, clarify this.
So, when a fireball the size of Franky's big hand comes out, well. Usopp runs for his goddamn life.
It takes him a few moments- and the voices of his friends sounding distant and below him- to realize he hadn't, in fact, run to the men's quarters, but rather into the fucking sky.
And oooooh, boy he is gonna kill Sanji one of these days. Why was his body's first fucking instinct when running to go up, what the actual HELL-
Usopp lit himself on fire again.
He curses out Sanji as his Sky Walk fails in the same moment and he plummets towards the deck.
#one piece#sanuso#nemotime#usopp the first time he lights himself on fire: WHAT THE FUCK WHAY THE FUCK WHAT THE HELL OH GOD OH F-#oh ndvdggdvdv okay listen. listen. omagine Zoro's been asleep this whole time. and he misses the memo that there was a bodyswap.#and he wakes up to 'Sanji' kicking him abd immediately goes into fight mode... and then is really fucking spooked#bc 'Sanji' is blubbering about Zoro going to kill him and that he couldnt die this young and Zoro's just. Still as a statue.#Literally cannot compute.#and then 'Usopp' comes up to him. threatening him and calling him names the way he was expecting from 'Sanji'#Brook: oh dear he mustve slept through all the commotion. Zoro-san! Usopp and-!#Nami covering Brook's mouth: No wait i smell a money making opportunity#shes gonna con him. idk how or with what yet but shes definitely gonna con him#hes gonna be sooo pissed when he finds out she conned him but his usual outlet for physical violence is currently indisposed so. lol. lmao.#i like making zoro suffer idk why its just funny#wait wai what if Usopp didnt trip on him what if when he plummets to the deck he lands on Zoro lmfao#also Franky's standing there like 'Why did you dodge it?!' and Usopp is right back to trying not to light himself on fire again lol#oh n Jinbei gets roped into the fashion show stuff#where he incurs 'newbie's first debt to Nami'#damn now im thinking about him slightly concerned about all this spontaneous combustion and then Robin saying something to make it worse lol#ANYWAY MORE IMPORTANTLY the real tragedy of this post is that because Usopp's constantly worried about Combusting#it never really sinks in how blatantly Sanji is checking out his body + enjoying doing that fashion show#and because of Sanji 'enjoying the view' he never notices the brief moments where Usopp quietly does the same#before being interrupted by Luffy and Chopper coming out of nowhere wanting to roast marshmallows on Usopp's leg#okay im done were done im good its bed time gnight gmorning gday to all
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ablazeinhim · 7 months
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feeling like such a loser lately and like is it the winter or is the introversion or is it the disability???
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toastsnaffler · 23 hours
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wellll everything could be worse.. at least we're not stranded in the arctic for years on end with lead poisoning and a Beast out to get us 😌
#watched another ep of the terror w my roomie.. qhat a stressful show lucky im too zonked so its going over my head#shes alrwady seen so shes trying not to spoil it for me its my first time 😭#i think she might be getting a cold too. so maybe we're both just coming down w smth and thats why we're so tired#not just med crash but the fog was sooo bad i keep not being able to finish sentences and slurring my speech#luckily shes familiar enough to get the gist of what imean when im so out of it anyway so its okkkk#but ahhh..if its bad again tomorrow ill probably still be able to get through movje night i can watch from bed#but might have to miss the gym :-((( we'll see how it goes maybe itll be okay#mayhe ill take 20/20 again on thurs just so i can go.. ah i dont know we'll see we'll see#whenever i hit this stage of tiredness or illness i always just wanna cuddle so bad too ahhhh#tryung to stay focused on qhat shes saying but she kept putti g her hands in her hair and i could smell her nice shampoo#like okayyyy when is itmy turn to stroke your hair im sitting so nicely here#ahhhh okay im crazy im going to sleep#i do need to be brave and ask if we can ljke hug more sometimes or something though ahh i miss being physically affectionate with anyone#and itskind of big for me like verbal affection js nice but im more of a physical person even if i dont allow myself to express it!!!!!#and i just dont want to cross boundaries or anything or get called needy again. but so what if i am needy nothing wrong eith that#anyway to bed before i start embarrassing mysrlf goodnight everyone i love u muah#.diaries
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roseworth · 1 year
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im convinced theres a gas leak in my apartment but i dont know how to just like. call maintenance and say that bc what if im wrong and its actually not a problem. what if i say "hey theres a gas leak" and they say "theres actually nothing and its just a you problem" it would be so embarrassing
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xxlethal-lunaxx · 2 months
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If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.
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#• luna lavinchi speaking •#living with cptsd#cptsd vent#complex ptsd#diet culture trauma#monsters inside me#toxic health culture#ex vegitarian/vegan#emotional flashbacks#health documentaries#dark side of veganism#i should have never been forced to watch these as a child..my mind wasn't ready to understand the information nor tell what was real or not#-i cant try sushi or even think about fish without feeling physically sick and dizzy. i haven't had McDonald's since i was like 6ish years-#-old..i never wanted to share this information but i need to vent. I feel embarrassed and rude for not liking a food chain that most of the#-population does. Smelling or seeing McDonald's makes me wanna puke so bad because of everything those documentaries would say.#I will never be able to eat McDonald's in my life because of how sick and terrified i feel when thinking about the food even the drinks-#-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's-#-then the memories come flooding back and i feel like puking so back so i cant even eat dinner. i know this may seem stupid but i am-#-genuinly scared. Im tired of this shit and tired of feeling alone in this.#(anyway sorry. if you read my vent then i appreciate you)#tw food talk#tw diet culture#tw vent in tags#(dont even get me started on parasites cause thats a whole fucking trauma itself. damn it i hate it all. i hate it so much)#(also note: my therapist made me feel so validated weeks ago when i told her during my session that i was traumatized by monsters inside me-#-she literally knew the name of the show before i could even say its name. and she said she also cant watch it and that she saw it as an-#-adult who doesn't have ocd. so she told me she can't even imagine how terrified i was to watch it as a child who was developing ocd.-#-therapist W)
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I was thinking about this before I want to bed last night so I have no idea if it's anything, but do you think the fact Arakawa (allegedly) was still seeing women for (at least) more than half the time they knew each other would've made it harder for Jo to label whatever they had going on...
Like I don't know if he would've been bothered (or allowed himself to let it on if he was), but crossroads of imperfect communication, only being in one relationship prior, being somewhat old-fashioned, and knowing Arakawa met Akane through an "affair"... no idea where I'm going with this but makes me wonder...
it's a fair thought to have in this (alleged) timeline me thinks
jo wholly doesn't really have experience with other people, whether that's platonically, romantically, or whatever demon lies in-between those. i dont think he wouldve been explicitly bothered- not bothered in a way he'd be ready to acknowledge. just that weird feeling you get when something's off but you can't place it (or rather you don't really want to)
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jyuanka · 1 year
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"his lips tasted like ice and sin"
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#so ive been reading this mega popular super long fic for a fandom i dont care about for a ship i dont care about (a procrastination method)#anyway ive read too much of it and felt obligated to keep going but i disliked it more with each chapter#coming at it from an emotional distance helped make it something of a mental writing exercise: pull it apart see why and how it works#my envious little writer heart just wants to know (i mean the stats on this bitch were rising in real time)#but i come upon the above sentence and i let out the ugliest laugh#i stop reading the fic just to process the silliness of what i just read#cue later i reopen the tab and my eyes instantly land on that sentence#suffice to say today i am free of that fic#its on me i shouldve stopped reading when the love interest was described as a 'fallen angel of death'#and its like the writer instantly realized what she's done so the next paragraph immediately starts with 'it was a cliche'#yeah girl it is#(love it when an author leaves their mental self-negotiations over a writing choice right there in the published text)#my decision to stop reading even tho im past the halfway point means i no longer have to read about eyebrows 'quirking inquisitively'#altho sometimes the eyebrow quirks questioningly; often curiously; one time it quirked disapprovingly; but its always quirking & so are lip#and people 'roll their jaws' (no i dont know what that means)#its a fanfic so im fine if the love interest smells like 'oakmoss and papyrus' (sillier scents have been sniffed on love interests)#but if you tell me he smells that way more than 7 times in the span of a few chapters i start having objections#given how many times it was mentioned i started wondering if its plot relevant (its not)#i have so many more thoughts but i like writing in the tags because its the tumblr equivalent of muttering out loud to myself#you might ask 'jyu why are you shredding someone else's work' the answer can be found in the words of contemporary philosopher lil nas x:#'i wanna fuck the ones i envy'
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#have been an anxious lil piece of shit since my mother walked past/then in my room bc she smelled something-#this was yesterday btw .. first thing she said was 'u dont vape do u?' and i was like 'no' *queue john mulaney voice: like a liar*#ok well technically only on occasion like if i dont have w**d#anyway she steps into my room and starts fuckin sniffing around and goes 'it smells like .. weed 😐' and just looked at me and guys ..#i am the WORST but my mothers brother aka my gay uncle got kicked out when they were younger bc he smoked too and my mother has grown to#not be fond of it since . so BASICALLY i lightly gaslit her and was like 'mom. seriously ? 🙄'#bc we joke about it on occasion like she went to denver and came back with a fuckin pot that says 'a little pot from colorado' meant for#weed and in my head im like 😭 bro i could actually use this 😭#so thats how we joke but obviously for me its genuinely funny bc of the irony but anyway .#my anxiety was so high after that bc i literally had my pen on me and i just left the situation and started petting my dog and filled up my#waterbottle trying to think of what the fuck i was going to do next but that was literally the end of that#(at least for now but i dont even want to jinx it)#to be proactive tho bc newsflash i do smoke! i got smart as shit and wrapped my smell proof combo bag to make it look like a gift for my#my friends when i go back to school so she wont think anything of it#and then put my pen old battery and vape in a box hidden away so i can still access them if i need but god DAMN#i was def just being stupid tho bc i forget when im at home i cant be so lax and rip the shit out of my pen with my door closed and no fan#anymore like 😐 u dumb fuck i was smarter at 16 with this shit#anyway. its definitely on me and im just mad at myself for it and hope it doesnt come up again/that she isnt overly paranoid with me like i#am with myself rn#also just for some more background my mom and i have never been super close but im really close with my dad but i love with my mom ? so#after this semester not just bc of this situation but i might be like. ive never had a room at dads and id like to at least for summer#and go from there. they just moved and its so cozy and id love to make my room mine over there for once even if it means moving in for abit#but the one thing that would absolutely break my heart is that my dog lives with my mom and its not like i couldnt still see her but i feel#like id feel guilty/like im abandoning her or something :'(#idk if anyone read this far pls lmk ur thoughts#oh and i work right by my moms so its not like i couldnt still visit her but it would break my heart#kylas thoughts#drugs /
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oetscop · 1 year
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shilo-morkaisin · 18 days
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Hey there's people on here that know how to find things
Can somebody help me find a perfume/cologne/body spray/whatever that smells like: machine oil, old books, and "witchy" spices?
I'm having a Moment™ and I need something with these smells in it
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loverboybitch · 9 months
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fall is almost here...autumn. is. arriving..emotional..//.
#imjustsittinghere#hoodie era...#feeling...............emotional....................#on one hand.. i love fall.. i love fall fashion i love the way autumn smells and how the sunset looks#and not even the sunset but just like what 4 oclock in september looks like..#sat at the park the other day to knit and it was just that perfect colour out like light literally looks different in the fall and i love i#on the other hand... kinda lonely (cringe)#saw death grips with three of my bestest friends yesterday and had a really good time but then i had to go home#driving to the venue then smoking weed in the parking lot n tuck was like u know i love how i can hang with any of u three#after any amount of time and its like literally nothing has changed#<3 :')))))))))))))))) so real#i see aidan like a couple times a year and everytime im like man i love talking to him hes so cool#see tuck like the same amount tbh and everytime he does his stupid loud laugh at something i say my heart grows 800 times the size#(said id been listening to ICP lowkey and didnt even get to finish my sentence mfers laughed so hard)#(its cause im buying pants with an ICP patch on them) anyway stupid fkers i love them#ryan too my absolute homie but im going to kill him....has to move out of his apartment thats down the street from me next month..crying#have treasured having him near so much do not know what i am going to do#have been saying this for 800 years but need everyone i love to live within a quarter mile of me for REAL .. like come here ....#hope things work out for him.. those other two fkers.. both mentioned moving to tdot soon maybe like u fucking better i miss yall#anyway does anyone want to sit on my floor with me#sap vulnerable post over i simply love the homies n wish the people i love were nearer to me#11:11 and i am wishing for sometimes to have a little bit more company <3
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tgcg · 2 months
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tell your loved ones
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:01 --
TG: hey im on the john
JOHN: hey, dave is taking a dump.
TG: taking a shit just so were clear
JADE: jeez!!!!!!! even when im not online i have to hear about it
TG: i know you care so youre first to know
JOHN: i'm just giving you a heads up for the bajillion messages you will definitely have about this when you get home.
EB: god, thank you. that is awesome. dave fans everywhere are gonna go NUTS for this truth nugget.
EB: hey, i am at the store with jade!
TG: tell her the news
EB: i did as soon as you first pinged me, don't worry.
TG: hell yeah see you just fucking get it
JADE: well tell him i say congrats!
EB: she says congrats.
EB: also that you left your "yeah! woo!" machine at her place.
EB: and that you are gross and smell like a dog took a dump on a fart even when you aren't crapping during our conversations.
TG: goddamn
EB: jk that last bit was me heheh. but she nodded!
EB: so anyways, a yeah woo machine?
EB: what the hell even IS that?
JADE: its more or less a machine that yeahs and woos
TG: its basically a machine that yeahs and woos
EB: ok, yeah, that is pretty much exactly what jade said too. apparently this is supposed to be obvious.
JADE: its pretty self explanatory!
TG: pretty self explanatory stuff
TG: anyways im gonna tell karkat this time i think im ready for that
EB: oh shit (LOL), that's a pretty big deal, right? good luck dude.
--
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 12:03 --
TG: ok karkat can i be unbelievably candid with you is dj crabapple ready for this
TG: this is a really big deal for me but like no pressure
CG: SHIT, IS EVERYTHING OK?
CG: DO I NEED TO COME OVER THERE.
TG: no no its good i just really need to confess something
CG: WHATEVER IT IS, TELL ME. I'M HERE.
TG: alright
TG: deep breath strider
--
TG: im dropping mad logs like bars in the ablution block vantas
TG: shit is on fire
TG: downright heretical like a shat outta hell
TG: and since im feeling penitent i figure our pesterlogs are pretty much akin to a confessional booth right
CG:
--
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 12:04 --
TT: Hey Dave.
TT: Are you, by any chance, taking a shit right now?
TG: damn word spreads fast on the information superhighway
TT: Yes, I have had the news forwarded to me via this bountiful virtual dimension of knowledge and culture we call the World Wide Web by a fellow enthusiast, one ectoBiologist.
TT: Frankly I'm heartbroken you didn't come to me about it first.
TT: Please, divulge to your loving sister the nature of your bowel movements, in exhaustive detail. Highlights in a notarized list, an overall ranking grade of your experience, whether you would recommend it to your friends, et cetera. These would be among my most pertinent avenues of inquiry.
TG: you were next on the mailing list rose im already on it
TG: boutta weave a verbal tapestry no holds barred just for you about my rambunctious foray down in brown town
TG: stay tubed
TT: Thank god. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't peruse your commodal follies like the morning gazette.
TG: dont act like this has educational value rose
TG: we all know my daily bullshit has got a laugh track
TG: like damn what kind of gazettes are you getting
TT: The best kind, Dave. Only the best kind.
TG: thanks for the vote of confidence
TG: wait gimme a sec karkat pinged
TT: Of course. I understand it's quite a big deal for you.
--
CG: OK.
CG: SINCE THIS APPARENTLY SKIRTS THE FRESHEST BUDS OF OUR BRO-DOM'S BURGEONING FROND NUB, I *ALSO* HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SHARE.
CG: I HOPE YOUR REFLECTIVE ABLUTION VAULT IS STOCKED WITH FUCKING RUMBLESPHERE TRANQUILIZERS, BECAUSE THIS EXCHANGE IS ABOUT TO GET SHITHIVE MAGGOTS.
CG: LISTEN CAREFULLY.
TG: whats up
--
CG: I AM ALSO ON THE LOAD GAPER RIGHT NOW.
TG: oh shiiit
CG: DON'T UNCLENCH YOUR EXPLOSIVE FUCKING SEED FLAP JUST YET, BECAUSE THERE'S *MORE*!
CG: I AM *ALSO* TAKING A CRAP.
TG: oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
CG: OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
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nsomniacsdream · 2 years
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I have a hard time talking about American law enforcement, because I have ptsd (like a therapist told me this and everything) from my own experiences with cops and because it's so balls quaking insane.
Like, a cop in the United States can pull you over for any reason. Which is a nice way of saying no reason, because literally anything can be used after the fact as justification. A cop can say its cuz you looked at him, or didnt look at him, or it looked like you were holding something, or looked like you were driving too perfectly for it to be natural. It's insane.
There are apparently no circumstances where a cop can't just kill you. The line the courts have applied is "reasonably believed" you were a threat, but that's such a nebulous nothing limit that people get shot for reaching for their license, having their phone in their hand, you're running away with no weapon, not being able to follow conflicting commands, like anything. And cops are almost never charged, because every court is going to believe he could "reasonably believe" he was threatened. Fuck, if you give me enough time, I can make any situation seem juuuuust plausibly threatening enough to pass that bar. It's insane.
A cop can just rob you. Like tell you to give him your wallet, take all the cash out, and just walk away with it. Exactly like you would imagine getting robbed in an alley would go, except no one can help. And he doesn't even have to hide it, he just drops it in a box at the station and they put it in their bank account. It's legal. You can't prove it wasn't drug money. I can't prove any money wasn't at some point drug money. It's insane.
If a cop just walks in your front door and says "I'm here to kill you and your entire family" YOU ARE GOING TO PRISON IF YOU STOP HIM. There is no positive defense for assaulting a police officer in the United States, and doubly so if you kill him. You have effectively no defense against a homicidal cop, which happens same as any other job. Unless for some reason you have cameras all thru your house and clearly caught the audio of him saying that he's there just to kill you, you have zero chance of not going to prison, probably for life. And that's assuming you aren't killed "resisting arrest" while being taken into custody. It is a crime, in this country, for you to defend yourself under any circumstances if the person you're defending yourself from is a cop. That's insane.
You don't have civil rights if a cop says so. You have the right to have a gun, right? A lot of states have open carry. A cop can shoot you if he sees you have a gun. Doesn't matter if you have a license and everything. So you effectively don't have the right to bear arms if a cop can shoot you for exercising it. You have the right to protest. Unless a cop tells you to stop. He doesn't need a real reason to tell you to stop. And if you don't stop, you can be arrested or shot. So you don't really have the right to protest, do you? A cop cant just search your car or house, right? Unless he claims he heard something, or smelled something, neither of which can be proven. So a cop can search whatever he wants, as long as he pretends there was a "reason". So you dont have protection from unreasonable search and seizure, do you? These are no longer rights- they're things the cops allow.. for now. But legally, those rights have already been found to not actually be rights, because any random cop can decide to take that right from you, for any reason. It's insane.
These aren't like crazy things that I'm just making up, these aren't some weird twisted way I'm looking at something, these are all very real things that we all just.. ignore? Police abolitionists and the media bring these things up all the time, and the overwhelming response to it is: so what? Don't break the law and it won't matter. Blue lives matter. More police funding. Cops should have tanks. It's insane. And I always feel like im just rambling and sound insane when I say this kind of stuff because if you wrote a book and had the dystopian government doing the stuff that the police in this country do every single day, those same people who "back the blue" would line up to say stuff like "*Books government* wouldnt have a chance before us real americans stopped them" on twitter and not even get a hint of the irony.
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evie-sturns · 1 month
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dreams - Matt Sturniolo
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summary: the last thing you expected when you stayed over for the night at your best friend matt's house, was him rubbing himself against the mattress while moaning your name in his sleep, you obviously have to help him out?
contains: wet dream, switch!matt, teasing, fluff.
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i've known matt since middle school, hes been my best friend since then. i stay round at his house often, its like my happy place when i get to be around him.
tonight is one of those nights where i stay round at matt's, we just finished watching stranger things season 4 for the 90th time and now we're heading up the stairs to his room.
"that show, is a fucking cinematic master piece." matt scoffs, walking up the stairs close behind me.
"it came out like 2 years ago matt, how are you not sick of it?" i laugh, my brandy melville shorts riding up my ass slightly as i reach the top of the stairs.
"it just never gets old," matt replies, i swing open the door to his bedroom and jump into his silk sheets.
"why does it smell so good in here?" i groan with a grin,
"don'tt lie." matt smiles, "i'm honestly not!! it does smell good for once."
"hey- i am a hygienic man." he points a finger at me before tearing his shirt off from over his head, he sorts through his wardrobe, looking through all the individually folded shirts.
he sets on a blue loose shirt, with the text 'it's been one of those days'
"cute!" i smile at him, he smiles back before jumping into bed beside me, launching me a couple inches into the air.
"matthew!" i hit him playfully, "oops." he teases back.
i lay my head on his chest, matt fidgets with my hair, i slowly drift off to sleep with his long fingers intertwined in my locks.
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3:38am
my eyes squint open as noises from the other side of the bed fill my ears.
matt is on the edge of the mattress, about 2 feet between us.
"fuck- mfgh, oh--" he moans lightly,
his hips repeatedly thrust into the mattress, his face is buried in the pillow but his hair flops with each thrust.
"y/n- please!" he whines,
my stomach sinks as soon as i hear my name fall from his lips,
was he having a sex dream about me?
i know matt would be embarrassed if he knew i was watching him, but i was kind of.. enjoying this? i've always thought about matt in ways i wouldn't like to admit, but he is hot.
i decide to wake him up, i place my manicured hand on his shoulder. i grip his boney shoulder tight and shake him.
"matt!" i whisper-yell,
his thrusts instantly stop, and his head snaps up. his cheeks are flushed red and his lips are a raw pink.
he looks down at the wet spot on the mattress, then back up at me.
"uh- um yeah? you okay?" matt stutters out, trying to play it off.
"what was that sweetheart?" i whisper, sitting up. matt rolls over onto his back, i take the opportunity which is in front of me and sit up, i straddle his thighs and look down at him
he attempts to string together a coherent sentence, but only random words come out "im sorry- you heard that?" he squeezes out.
i drag my nails over the large tent in his pants
matt squeezes out a loud whimper, "i think i heard something come out of your mouth while you were rubbing yourself on the mattress." i say, my voice soft.
"mm-" matt hums, rubbing his eyes
"i heard.. my name?" i tease, matt covers his face with his hands
"'m sorry- 'm so sorry" matt whines.
"tell me about your dream matt."
he shakes his head, i run my hand over his bulge again and matt starts talking
"you- were saying how- how you needed me, and-and i was fucking you- 'm sorry!" matt says, his voice barely audible and he cuts himself off.
"thats okay baby." i smile, tugging down his waistband.
"please-" matt groans.
"i know." i say, reaching out and grabbing his length. his tip is the same shade as his pink lips and leaking precum, he has veins travelling up his dick.
"you have a pretty dick matt." i tell him, pumping slowly and running a thumb over his slit.
"thank- thank you" matt breathes,
"you want me to ride you matt?" i whisper into his ear, matt nods frantically, i pull my shorts to the side slightly,
"such a whore, dreaming about fucking your best friend." i scoff, scooting up and hovering above his tip. i sink down onto his cock,
i bottom out quickly, the craving for his dick overpowering me. he stretches me well, his tip resting against my cervix.
"matt" i whine, matt lets out loud whimpers as he balls up the sheets in his hands.
"so- tight" matt mumbles, i bounce up and down on his length. "fuck! mfgh" he almost yells,
"you dream about me often matt?" i say with a light moan
"yes- yes!" matt whines, "how often" i press him, "god- every couple days?" he replies.
"i want you to fuck me, can you do that for me?" i whisper, matt nods frantically before flipping us over,
my back hits the mattress, matt doesn't waste time to start thrusting into me, just like how he was into the mattress 10 minutes ago,
his hair bounces on his forehead with each thrust, matt reaches his tattoed arm up to my jaw, forcing me to look up at him.
"im- im close" i warn him,
"i know, 'feel you clenching." matt breathes out,
i clench around him, matt reaches his spare hand down and traces small circles around my sensitive clit.
i feel my orgasm wash over me, my legs shake as i arch my back off the bed, feeling all of my built up pleasure release at once.
matt instantly pulls out and paints my stomach with warm white streaks, he flops down next to me with a groan.
matt pulls me onto his chest, breathing heavily into his ear.
"are you okay?' i ask him with a small giggle,
"more than okay-" matt sighs with a smile.
we lay in silence for a couple minutes before matt breaks it with a muffled laugh
"whats funny matt?" i sigh with a grin, exhausted and fucked out.
"i think if someone told me yesterday that i would be fucking my best friend at 4am tomorrow i would've laughed in their face."
i let out a loud laugh, "thats pretty understandable."
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