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deoidesign · 11 days

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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between

#to be or not to be. that is the question #ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment #musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is #To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL #reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires #the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live #even if just out of fear of the unknown #and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live #despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others #theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts #I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79 #working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH #I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever #anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff #banger after banger from me tbh #this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse #it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want #like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere #a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want #ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work

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puretopia · 9 months

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a bit late to the party but some of my favourite shots from 2023 <3

#im still not over my sickness #it was tonsilitis turned FLU #so many ppl have been sick though so i dont feel so alone #i dont have the energy for ts4 atm so ive been playing a lot of disney dreamlight valley #its relaxing and cute #ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #also we got a god damn storm going on over here #praying a tree falls in the road so i dont have to go to work tomorrow

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casualavocados · 22 days

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An idiot like you...an idiot like you...

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 9

#kiseki: dear to me #kisekiedit #kdtm #kiseki dear to me #ai di x chen yi #chen yi x ai di #nat chen #chen bowen #louis chiang #chiang tien #jiang dian #userspring #uservid #userspicy #userjjessi #pdribs #*cajedit #*gif #IM BACK WITH MORE MICROEXPRESSIONS AND MINOR DETAILS POSTING WHEEEEEEEEEEEE #anyway 'only i...since i was young til now...have been looking at you' if you even care. cuz. *gestures* this is ALL that. in these hugs #and okay thinking about it - im a little obsessed with the way we dont really See the reasons Why ai di loves chen yi #like usually in dramas theres a 'here's who he is through x's eyes here's why he is desirable' etc. and kiseki is not. like that.#ai di and chen yi bicker constantly. chen yi brushes ai di off. we see all their rough patches. but the little things ai di says in ep4 -#'he picks on & scolds me the most but he cares for me the most' are shown as part of it all AND actually one of the first things ai di says #in that scene is that they grew up together. like idk theres something about how it doesnt need to be some big thing.#some great quality of chen yi's that makes him loveable. ai di just loves him. it's that simple. he just does and always has and always wil #and loves him for everything chen yi is. even the parts that hurt him. 'an idiot like you' followed by 'im naive. im foolish.' IDK MAN.....#ITS LIKE AI DI IS ACCEPTING AND LOVING ALL OF CHEN YI'S INADEQUACIES. WHILE DAMNING HIS OWN. feeling so stupid for feeling so much #for someone he cant help but love - bc their lives have always. been. entwined. & you see that love echoed in chen yi. in how relaxed he is #how he kisses ai di's choker..follows ai di's lead & ai di's mouth. before chen yi's mind knows its ai di his body knows & loves him easily

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arcanegifs · 3 months

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theres a new chill af city builder game and it lets me import my own photos so i had to try it out with all the caitvi screenshots that ive upscaled before lol

#damn theres giant af caitvi holo billboard in the city its so funny LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO #side note this game is so relaxing and fun i cant believe an hour passed by so quickly lol #it reminds me a lot of Tiny Glade but cyperpunk instead of cottage core #personal tag

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ganondoodle · 24 days

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after a long time of being either too sick or too depressed to draw (or having no time ..) i really want nothign else but to draw

but i cant get my motivation back, i dont know what to do bc i havent been doing anything for so long so the old solution of doing something else while its like this feels unnecessary, im tired of not drawing, i want to so badly but nothing can hold my attention for more than 5 minutes and no idea feels worth even trying while i sit here staring at the screen for hours

i dont know if asking for ideas or general .. motivation ideas or something can help it, and its so annoying, its like my brain is withholding me my own enjoyment in doing art, i have been through phases like this but i hate it so much bc it just wastes time and makes me feel like shit, i know it will go away eventually but im TIRED of feeling like this bc its been so long already

#ganondoodles talks #personal #i just #maybe its also the whole stupid zelda book thing making me go straight into the next depression phase #without even getting a break from the previous one and the following sick days #maybe its covid even #i dont know #but its annoying me so damn much #i already wasted so many hours just doing nothing #and not the relaxing kind of nothing #sitting there staring at screen kind of nothing #just let me do somethinnnnnnnnnggggg

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moonviewer · 1 year

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"Let’s run away.”

(unrendered > rendered

doing an illustration study with mafuyu’s new look :) )

#mafuyu asahina #nightcord at 25:00 #25 ji nightcord de #asahina mafuyu #project sekai #my art #aaaaaaaaaaa im kinda proud of this one aaaaaaaaaa #i dont usually like to draw portraits bc they bore me a bit.....#but i had this rare good day where i found painting to be really fun and relaxing #so i painted this just bc it was fun #it also made me realize damn i usually draw like im doing a job and just wanna get it over with...#maybe its bc im getting more familiar with the method of drawing that works best for me so its becoming more enjoyable?#anyway i really liked the unrendered version!!!! the rendered one is the final but i wanted someone to see the unrendered too bc i really #like it #thank you if you looked at it :)#i made it too saturated and happy though LOL #the mood of this character was supposed to be er more depressive...so hence the rendered changes the entire feeling #i tried to capture a rain mood i quite love doing atmospheric moods #i think it came out kinda good! until i look at it tmr and think no i suck though LOL #anyway it was fun to practice colors and moods and all that #lol tumblr is becoming a place for me to just dump my artistic endeavors

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defiledtomb · 29 days

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I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RELAX!!!!

#im genuinely trying. and its not working #everytime i have more than 1 day of complete free time inspiration hits me like a rogue wave #and like. love that #but it just starts another cycle. why is it so god damn hard to actually really and wholeheartedly relax and not feel guilty about it #anyway. im forcing myself to play dai today because i just got off a 3hour writing session #and you might think thats good but I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH #WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK THIS WHOLE TRASHCAN OF EMOTIONS IN #it is not one successive scene. its a series of observations over the course of a whole arc #i literally relaxed with my cozy little writing session to add more work for myself. do you see it. do you see my plight #fml #(it was really good though.)

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toytulini · 1 month

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one more baja blast. either im going to clean this tank or fall miserably asleep while screaming and crying trying

#toy txt post #its! well im not going to say its not that hard bc UNTRUE! its GOING TO BE FAIRLY ARDUOUS!#BUT EASIER THAN THE TANK I HAVE ALREADY DONE! IT IS /ACHIEVABLE/ EVEN WITH ADHD MEDS IN MY SYSTEM #HAVE I NOT CLEANED IT AT 4AM AFTER TAKING A MUSCLE RELAXER ENOUGH ?#maybe thats my problem. anyway. uh. if the Just One More Caffeine Bro doesnt work and i fall asleep then i guess ill try a muscle relaxer #when i wake up and its been a reasonable number of hours since the caffeine cos im not mixing that shit #ngl what would Prolly Help is if Everyone Got Out Of The Damn House. what is my deeeeeeal #everyone Leave so i can do it blasting a podcast or some shit #<-unreasonable ask cos mother just had surgey #tag edit. achievable even WITHOUT adhd meds in my system #sorry i have types too fast and doesnt pay attention disorder

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lark-of-mirkwood · 6 months

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Me writing the filthiest smut I've ever written at midnight

#like damn #i didnt know i had it in me #i feel like a scientist that succeded in cloning an extinct animal #IT LIVESS #yes that smut happens in ch. 32 of my Din Djarin romance fic #its kinky but its the last smut of the fic so it had to happen with a bang lmao #nothing weirdly kinky but enough to raise and eyebrow and slowly clap your hands i guess #im proud of it lmao #me @ din in my fic: go off King bang your beautiful girlfriend you deserve it and she does too #din djarin finally letting go and relaxing alarm the media #my fanfic #lark talks #only 4 more chapters until im done!!! but like this smut has taken a lot of space #so it might be 5 lmao

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gayspock · 10 months

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not to sound like a cunt but i swear like 2 jokes about something will get passed around and then a load of dipshits will start twisting that everyone is so Utterly Vacuous... god forbid if every post you post to your tumblr blog is not an indepth reflection of your thoughts and feelings. for your tumblr blog is reflective of your Inner mind and soul and you must summon yourself to the Calling of crafting the most perfect and eloquent analysis of the video essay that dropped 2 fucking days ago .

#egg.txt #this is about the hbomberguy shit soirry lol #like i see one or two jokes abt haha he took them out )#and then suddenly its like: THE WHOLE CONVERSATION IS JUST ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MISSED THE POINT #DUDE its like a 2-3 ppl on tumblr who made joke posts that got traction #not to mention yes: ive seen MANY ppl posting abt how sad and unfortunate this all is #but those posts arent gonna get traction bc theyre quiet fuckin reflections on a topic for now #as such yeah bro the tag is dominated by jokes that really arent that serious.#idk ugh sorry to be such a twist im just soooo sick of the vibe everyone brings of like:#i see lighthearted jokes in this tag. HOW DARE YOU ALL DO THIS. YOU ARE ALL SO FUCKING STUPID AND YOU TAKE NOTHING SERIOUS.#like yes its a serious topic but again .... TWO GOD DAMN DAYS AFTER THE VIDEO DROPPED NO LESS... the thing thats gonna ALWAYS float to the #top of a tag is quick jokes.#and besides its like if you WANT to have those conversations thats great??? like cultivate them bro??#WHY not cultivate them instead of dominating the conversation with how stupid everyone is and how above them you are?#idk man its not just abt this #its abt sooooo much with the fuckn culture some ppl foster on this website #its the exact same with sillier shit like media #where some ppl think that u reblogging jokes abt a show / sth is like THE ONLY THOUGHTS YOU HAVE ON SOMETHING #blah blah blah you have such a superficial opinion of the characters and so forth #like relax. i just prefer to have discussions abt things not on my blog #jesus wept some ppl are desperate to think everyone is stupid

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attroxx · 4 months

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it’s not munday but, i did my hair a new color a few days ago & i’m feelin’ cute ~

#〈 ooc. ★ 〉#mun face cw #im about to go home and relax #its so damn hot

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kiddphel · 6 months

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i was trying to see smth so i checked how many posts are in my husbands tags (plus kidd, cuz this involved him) and uh. where do i start with these numbers

#dragon's ramblings #szayel doesnt shock me but makes me laugh. miguel also makes me laugh like god damn youve been here 300 days my love. relax.#BUT KIDD BEING TIED WITH TORU???? HUH????#to be fair. their tags are used for images i post/fanart i rb/and ask memes abt them usually #so its not like. every gush post

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cheddertm · 1 year

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New season of Ninjago but Lloyd doesn’t help with the current crisis at hand bc he’s busy getting THERAPY and doing SELF CARE!!! Yeah someone is trying to destroy Ninjago, but they’re always doing that

LET THE MAN TAKE A BREAK 🗣️🗣️🗣️

#ninjago #lloyd garmadon #man has gone through so much and he hasnt even processed it all i dOUBT #Lloyd ‘i literally grew up too fast’ Garmadon #Lloyd ‘i had to basically kill my dad for the good of the world’ Garmadon #Lloyd ‘when I got my dad back HE FUCKIN LEFT ME AGAIN’ Garmadon #etc etc #like bro take a nap #everyone is fighting for their lives and cut to Lloyd who is at the spa #Jay: damn I wish Lloyd was here #Kai: no calling him!!! its his day off let him relax!!!#Lloyd taking the first nap hes had in years: holy shiiiiiit

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baconcolacan · 1 year

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So apparently twitter imploded while I wasn’t looking and now people are coming back here.

Thats freakin’ hilarious, tumblr truly is the cockroach of the internet.

#neil talky #looks at my brand spankin new twitter acct #[deactivates]#Yeah bye bye buddy #I didnt know how to work you anyway lmao #ITS SO FUNNY I WENT ON A MINI VACATION #Im so relaxed rn #while the soc meds (except tumblr) all seemingly exploded at the same time #damn #I missed a lot

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gifti3 · 9 months

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I keep staring at the gabriel unit

I want him so bad

#dont worry im not gonna get it #its just a png gifti chill relax....#i feel like hes broadened my horizons when it comes to liking terrible characters haha #like...#damn he hates us so bad but im eating it up #whb gabriel

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radgeorgie · 2 months

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had an amazing interview yesterday.... was told I'd know by Monday.... but it's alleged they DRUG TEST and I just bought 6 packs of weed edibles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#AND!!!!! AND!!!!!! IVE GOT THE HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR A SOLID WEEK!!!!!!!#i guess ill know monday if i can get high that night or tuesday but like.... i want to have one now lmao #like.... the paper i signed was more worried about being drunk on the jo #and OBVIOUSLY i wouldnt show up to my folder customer service job high off my ass..... but that thc can stay in your system for awhilw #i had one last nigbt tk celebrate the interview so idk if im even in the clear to begin with #and like.... i told them my start date would ve the 20th & im out of town vefore that so the goal is like.... they go to achedule #and we have to schedule it way out so i have time to like.....not worry & get my pee clean #like.... it wouldnt matter so much if my parents werent LEAVING this E N T I R E week... like.... this is MY vacatioj too!!!!!#and i just bought it after a horrid week 😭😭😭😭😭 worked my ass of it for it in order to relax this week #like #i know i shouldnt be dependent on it and im really trying not to ve #but the anti-anxiety relaxing of it all helps so much #and im reeeeeally not the biggest fan of drinking....i pee too much 😭😭😭😭😭 ironically 😭😭😭😭😭😭#like.... at this point.... its like..... do i care about getting this job more than i care about letting my brain and body relax this week #i always put myself first & listen to my heart & soul to dictate what to do #but my mind just keeps thinking about getting that failed drug test back and going back to the job hunt #but im still IN the job hi t #*hunt #AND HERES THE THING!!!! walking around that damn office.... seeing what people were wearing.....#its professional but i know damn well theres people in there smoking weed #like.... 25 of the 50 employees i saw showed up in casual loungepants these people are not prestigious #and like.... the paper i signed.... they didnt even edit to include the company name????#it kept saying “the Company will not like you to drink on the clock and assumes you will not get behind company vechiles drunk either”#like.... tooooootally understandable i just wanna eat some edibles before im an official employee of your folder business my loves #let me have a 50mg and zone out for the night while im finally free from all these losers..... PLEASE #anyways......personal problems that my brain needs to expel so it doesnt tumble all around for the next few houes #WHILE I DOORDASH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck me #like..... i got this interview through indeed ill just keep going till i cant if it fails

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