#ive been drawing for 6 hours straight damn i

[sandrathachao]

You always make Klaymen to look so adorable aaaah I am your fan already!

klaymen is a good boye ™

[trauma-13]

Birth story.

I'm posting this mostly so I can remember it down the line when it's not as fresh in my mind.

On may 27th, I had my weekly OB appointment. I was 38 weeks and 2 days. I went in, peed in a cup, and waited for my appt time. I got called back shortly, and had my vitals take. My blood pressure was 128/88. Not bad, but higher than it had been, even just the day before. I honestly didn't think much of it. My provider comes in, says she wants to recheck my BP, draw labs, and schedule me for a induction once I got to 39 weeks. She was concerned because my BP was higher and I had slight protein in my urine-for those not in the medical field reading this, she was concerned I was developing pre-eclampsia which is a very serious complication of pregnancy. So the MA comes back, rechecks my pressure-136/96. I assumed it was from anxiety of now being told I may have pre-eclampsia. My provider was in another room, so the MA had me go to the lab area to start blood work while she waited for the doc to finish in the other room. My doctor walked in the room a couple minutes later and said "nevermind labs, I want you to go to Shea (my delivery hospital)" I immediately started to panic, and asked "why, am I going to be induced?" She told me she didn't know yet, but wanted me to get stat labs, and be monitor vitally and the baby monitored for a couple hours. She said depending on labs would depend if I would be induced. She told me she'd see me at Shea.

Needless to say, I was pure panic. I'm not sure how I didn't burst into tears right then, but I some how didn't. I was terrified. Being a nurse, I know the bad things that can happen, and of course that's all I was focused on. I got to my car, still not crying, and called my husband. I told him to get dressed, and grab stuff to go to Shea, that I was fine and that I would tell him everything when I got home. Still no crying. I called my mom, because well she's my mom and she was going to come and stay with our dogs when I went into labor so they weren't alone for potentially days on end. As soon as mom answered the phone, all the walls came down and I started crying. Not just normal crying, full blown, can't talk, sobbing. She, of course, panics. She knew I had an OB appt, and she assumed the worst. I finally got my self together enough to tell her "I'm fine, the baby is fine," I explained everything that was going on, and that I was heading to the hospital shortly. I talked to her the entire 6 minute car ride home, still crying, and scared. She asked me if I wanted her to come up, and I said yes. She lives 3 hrs away, so it's not like she's close. I didn't know what the next few hours of my life held, and that was terrifying.

I got home, James had grabbed all our stuff, and had made sure to get the extra last minute things too. He asked if I was okay because I'd obviously been crying, I told him physically yes, emotionally no and that I was afraid of the next few hours and the uncertainty. We took the dogs out, stopped to get gas, and headed to Shea.

We get to the hospital around 1pm or so. I told them everything my doc had said, and the tech checking me in said my doc had called ahead and let them know about me. Even more fear sets in. We get back to a room, I give them a urine sample and change into the lovely gown. My nurse comes in and does her exam and tells me the plan. We're going to draw labs, monitor me and the baby and depending on all of the results would determine our next steps. At this point I had let my mother in law, and 3 best friends know what was going on incase we did get admitted for induction.

We sat in the room for a couple hours. I was contracting basically the whole time, but they were about 20 mins apart. I asked the nurse about it, she said they were fairly strong on the monitor, but weren't close enough yet. So around 5pm or so, another nurse comes in, she says my original nurse got pulled into an emergency delivery, but that she was going to discharge me so we could go home. I was a bag of emotions at this point. I had accepted that I'd be induced and would meet our baby soon, and had gotten over the fear and now I was being discharged. I was given strict orders to go home, relax, drink lots of water and "come back in 24 hrs for repeat labs, and make sure to bring your hospital bags when you come tomorrow," to me, that meant we were being induced tomorrow. Apparently it's some insurance thing, that they couldn't induce me that day. No clue.

So we go home. My mom's at the house. I told her everything they said and the plan for the next day.

Fast forward to 4pm the next day, it was time to head back to Shea. We got all of our things together and head over. I got checked into triage and brought back to a triage room. They hooked me up to the monitors, and at that point everything looked okay. Babys strip was great, I wasn't really contracting and my BP was doing okay at 130s/80s. They drew blood and then it was a waiting game.

I had started contracting again about 45 minutes after getting to the hospital. They were strong, and painful, and about 8-10 mins apart. They were painful enough that I was having to completely stop whatever I was doing, and just focus on breathing. I was assuming it was because I was stressed because the same thing had happened the day before. Of course, my blood pressure started to go up. Nothing crazy, but it was higher, about 140s/90s. My doctor came in around 6pm and said she wanted to admit me and induce me. She was concerned that if I went into labor naturally my BP would elevate too much and cause further issues. The plan was to admit me to labor and delivery, start pitocin, do an epidural, and have a baby! My doctor said, "around 4am we'll have this baby, so try to nap and relax once you get to the other room." Shift changed happens at 7pm, so one of the triage nurses started an IV, some fluids and we waited for the night shift nurse to come on for me to go over to the other room.

Around 715-730ish my L&D nurse came over and we headed over to the other room. During the *maybe* 1 minute walk over to the other room I had to stop and just breathe because holy contractions! Again, still convinced I wasn't really in labor. We got to L&D, I sat on the bed, and my nurse started asking me all the normal questions and asked what my plan was reguarding an epidural and if I wanted to do that before or after the pitocin. I was right in the middle of a VERY strong and painful contraction, and I didn't answer her right away. After the contraction passed, she said I looked incredibly uncomfortable and asked if I was okay. I straight up just started crying and told her I was so uncomfortable, and frankly I was terrified of pitocin. James was rubbing my back, and she grabbed my hands and said "don't worry, I'll go page the anaesthesiologist right now and we'll put the epidural in before we even think about pitocin. I want you comfortable first and foremost." I tried to lay down and get as comfy as possible until the doc came in.

Around 8pm he came in, explained the whole procedure and we got it done. It was so quick, and easy and I had such immediate relief. I could finally relax!! Physically and mentally! After the epidural was in, my nurse checked me, I was 4-5cm dialated, 90% effaced and 0 station. My nurse called my doc to ask if we wanted to start pitocin or wait and see what my body did naturally, my doc wanted to start the pitocin just because my BP was still elevated at this point even with the epidural and pain relief. We started the pitocin around 830pm or so, and my water still hadnt broken at this point. The plan was for my doctor to come in at 930pm and break my water if it hadn't happened naturally at that point.

Fast forward to 945ish and my doc comes in to break my water. Weirdest feeling ever. She also put Baby J on one of the internal monitors because he kept coming off the external monitor. At that point I was 5cm, 90%, and still 0 station. My nurse helped me lay on my left side and we were going to try to nap since we were in for a long night. James had started dozing pretty quickly, and I started feeling contractions again. Crazy strong, very frequent, maybe about 1 minute apart or so. I was holding his hand and felt like I was going to break his fingers Everytime I had a contraction. I remember looking at the clock and it being around 1010 and thinking "okay if my nurse hasn't come in by 1015, I'll call her" because DAMN were those contractions painful.

Within a few minutes my nurse came in, I honestly don't know how many minutes it had been because I was busy breathing hah! She said she was going to have the doctor put in an internal contraction monitor as well because she wasn't sure that the external was super accurate. My doc comes in within a few mins, and goes to place the monitor and says "oh, oh, you're complete and we need to push now because he's practically crowning" (apparently all that pain and pressure was my body saying hey let's do this!)

Nothing was ready! We weren't planning on having a baby for another few hours so the birth cart wasn't even in the room. The nurse grabbed one really quick while my doc was putting on shoe covers, she had enough time to throw on the sterile gown and gloves before i felt like I needed to push. My nurse had barely had time to page the baby nurse!

I pushed 3x over that contraction. Definitely yelled fuck, but otherwise, I don't remember saying anything/making any noise at all. My nurse coached me how to push effectively and how to curl my body to help.

Second contraction, pushed 3 more times. The whole time James was holding my left foot and rubbing my shoulder. He was his usual quiet self, which I expect nothing else hah!

Third contraction I pushed 3 more times. At the end of the third one my doc told me to take a big breath and give one big push. So I did. And little dude was born at 1036pm!

I pushed for around 7 minutes total (per James) before our little one was born. I had to get stitches, but I don't even remember it happening. As soon as they put my son on my chest, nothing else mattered. I couldn't stop shaking, or crying. It was completely uncontrollable. I was so overwhelmed! I went from the thought of having a baby hours from now, to having a baby in my arms 7 minutes later! It happened so fast we didn't even have time to tell my mom that it was game time. The plan was to have her on FaceTime so she could help talk to me and support us even though she couldn't physically be there.

Baby J was a few minutes old and I asked James to call my mom on FaceTime. When she answered she immediately started crying once she saw the baby and heard him crying. I kept apologizing for not calling her, I felt so bad even though it's so silly! James told her I started pushing about 10 mins ago and had a baby so quickly we didn't even have time to think about anything else. Of course she wasn't upset at all.

Once I was stitched up, my nurse shut off the epidural and helped clean me up a bit. After she said she was going to step out, and give us time to ourselves with our little one, but to call if we needed her. I held my little boy and just stared at him. He was perfect! The only better thing than holding him myself, was seeing James hold him for the first time. Que crying all over again.

He was born on May 28th, 2020 at 1036pm, 6lbs 1oz, and 19 inches long. I didn't get my June baby, but he's absolute perfection and has our entire hearts. Our little one is turning 7 weeks on Thursday. I can't believe he's been here for 7 weeks already. Motherhood has been the hardest most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life.

[roloko-karlstein]

S+: 

Final Fantasy IV and Final Fantasy IV: The After Years - my favorite games in the FF franchise it had a pretty damn good story and the characters were really memorable to me. Also its home to two of the few best OST that has Uematsu has composed Red Wings and The Four Fiends. On top of that I really loved how the sequel adds another layer of strategy with its lunar system. I know people hate the sequel cause of how it was spit into multiple episodes you had to buy, but as a person playing the PSP version where the all the stories were all bundled into one price it was actually pretty fun to see how and what the characters has been up to all this time and some fresh faces in forms of either children or comrades of the old IV cast.

S:

Final Fantasy VI: I love this game its my second favorite FF title. I think my favorite thing about it was at different times you controlled different party members it wasn’t just Terra the whole time. Also the fact anybody can learn magic so in a pinch you could use your offensive characters to heal. Who can forget the opera scene and the Dancing Mad song? Instant classic songs

Final Fantasy Type 0: My third favorite game in the franchise. I know that is an unpopular opinion, but I just love the setting and how you can control any character cause its their story and not like a specific character (Ace). Every character has their own weapons and way of fighting I really love using Cinque,Jack, and Trey. I know people hate using her cause she is slow, but I feel like its all about timing she is super strong honestly. I never finished it nor a new game plus where I think it ends differently than the first playthrough. I love the battle system overworld battles play more like Tales of while the missions play out like XV’s battle system, but I think better honestly.

A: 

Final Fantasy X: My fourth favorite FF title and if I remember my very first. Touching story and I love the characters. The only real flack I have is unskippable cutscenes even in the remaster. It really makes it annoying when facing two certain bosses.

Final Fantasy IX: My fifth favorite FF title. It had quite a few memorable characters and fun games on the side. I really liked its story too. The final boss really came out of no where I still think it should’ve ended at Kuja, but whatevs.

Final Fantasy VII: This one is a classic which is why it made A rank. I’m fairly certain the remake will be S or S+ tier with how they are expanding on characters and the story (I will cry over Biggs,Wedge, and Jessie I can feel it you know its coming, but I bet Square will pull out all the stops to get us to like them)

Final Fantasy Rhythm games: My other favorite genre after JRPGs which is rhythm games. I love the little chibi characters!

B:

Crisis Core: Its a nice prequel and the ending was really good I remember first playing it I cried even though I knew it was coming. I really like the song “Why” that plays during the credits

Final Fantasy V: Only reason it is below A rank is cause I never really got far in it. And both times I played it I only made it to the part where we find out about Faris and Lenna’s relationship. Job system was pretty cool and was an upgrade from III.

Final Fantasy Record Keeper: For a mobile game its pretty good and the gatcha was I think for weapons and not for characters.

Final Fantasy VIII: I actually like the junction and drawing system it was new. The final boss fight would leave me on the edge of my seat cause the final boss I think draws all of a certain type of magic from you every other turn so it was basically a battle against time. This series had more of a modern day/futuristic vibe to it. The only reason its a B cause I didn’t really care too much for the story.

Final Fantasy II: Its an easy game after hitting yourself for two hours straight. No really. After I got past the first part of the game I find that ya know it isn’t THAT bad of a game kinda tedious at the start to get your stats up there, but after that it really is smooth sailing the rest of the game.

Final Fantasy: It is only at B rank cause this is where everything began even if the game play is simple and the characters have no name and there really isn’t much of a story

C:

Final Fantasy X-2: I think its nice that we get to see a more light hearted story for the most part, but I don’t think this was really necessary. Has one of the best battle systems in the franchise though I have fun playing it and it does have some really challenging fights. 

Final Fantasy XIII: I don’t think its bad as what people make it out to be its honestly an average game and the story is alright. 

Final Fantasy Brave Exvius: I used to play this game and the event stories that would come out were really good, but if you do not have 6 Star characters with super strong equipment you would never able to finish the story. Also from what I’ve heard its not even harder to obtain lapis to draw for characters. Gatcha has been going downhill and the events harder which is why I eventually quit.

Final Fantasy III: I haven’t gotten far, but I don’t really care too much for how you can only have so many spells for each level. I think I like V and X-2 more since you can actually learn all the magics by using that class in battle.

World of Final Fantasy: Meh...thats all I gotta say I want to kill that animal thing “THE this” “THE that” if I want to hear shit like that I would go watch Teen Titans Go

D:

Final Fantasy All The Bravest: Again not as bad as the fandom says it is and I breezed through it in a week. I guess I can see why people are ticked though. $1 for a character and it might not even show up in your party. 

Final Fantasy XII: I’m thinking about giving this another chance honestly. I wasn’t a fan of the gameplay or license board.

Final Fantasy XV: Probably one of the biggest disappointments since me playing XII. I payed full price for both AND bought the strategy guides which was not cheap. While XV is better with its gameplay the story felt really rushed and had some of the worst romantic subplot I have ever seen compared to any previous Final Fantasy. Noct had more development with his fellow chocobruhs than he ever did with Luna.

The Dissidia games: I’m not a fan of fighting games I think what I liked most about these were different heroes/villains interacting with each other.

F:

Dirge of Cerberus: Terrible game play, Terrible story, I got motion sickness extremely easy, all around bad game.

Final Fantasy XV mobile game: I never played it, but I have seen ads for it and I’m like really? REALLY?

[noidsome]

The big issue with the digimon tri movies, and why you should be pissed too.

I just finished watching the 5th digimon movie, and to put it short, i excpected nothing and im still let down. This is a big negative critique on what ive seen so far from the tri movies, but its also more of a vent for me, because theres something about these movies that really fucking grinds my gears and i feel i finally need to let that out somewhere. Look at this as a sort of....badly written analyctic rant. So far this movie, in short, was as i dreaded, 70% meiko bullshit and 20% kari...which is so fucking insulting i dont even know...but thats why im here.

Now before you assblast me with your stupid crap, please try to understand that as harsh as im writing this, im trying to look at this movie from a critical standpoint, and no im not going to put in the effort to be “nice” about it because if digimon tri can get away with half assing everything about itself, then wont bother. If you cant handle that, move on. If your interested, click the read more and we can begin this shit fest, because i think its about god damn time someone put these mediocre movies in their place.

The pacing.

I dont know about you guys, but to me it feels like these movies, or episodes, are either dragging on forever, or they rush really fast. This movie especially took its sweet ass time to give us 2 whole half an hour scenes of meiko being depressed about her shitty OC digimon, to leave the actual interesting fights and plot to 1 and a half episode, out of 4. Im sorry but i feel like ive been following this fucking story for 6 years, its so fucking slow and it drags on for fucking ever sometimes.

I do understand that its important to establish character interactions, and god damn does this fucking series need some, but sometimes it really stops the action dead in its tracks, and as much as i appriciate the movies giving each character some focus, it goes on for too long. the ending to movie 5 was....well rushed as shit. 

But despite all this, its just really frustrating that half the entire series is just them standing around and TALKING...talking talking talking, exposition exposition exposition. It also feels really slow and stagnated sometimes, and the cheesy music in the background of the sad scenes dont really help much. And other times things are glossed over so fast that im standing there wondering if i missed out on something because i accedently blinked. Like how they entered the digital world, only to just suddently fall out of it immediatly after from a big digital gate just like that. Or how meiko just...SUDDENTLY appeared in the digital world with no warning or real reason. huh?? shes here now?? what?? meicoomon is still infected? what?? gennai is back with the dark masters? what where did they come from? why are they following him!? WHAT?? HUH??? HELLO???

im just….frustrated. im frustrated that i have to wait for 6+ months every a new movie comes out, only for the movie to stall for fucking ever and leave the actual OH SHIT moments to the last part, AND END ON A CLIFFHANGER. Its such fucking god damn bait to get us to watch the other movies, its almost INSULTING how incredibly obvious it is. Last movie ended with gennai fucking around and choking meiko. Then, as i saw my fat ass down in the chair, waiting for the big battle, no meicoo just...opened portals and then left with her copy paste army. Oh well so much for that. 

Then the digidestined actually FALL OUT OF THE DIGITAL WORLD, and they are right back to standing around and getting chased by the cops...and then they spend THE REST OF THE EPISODES on meikos useless crying and baiting for meichi shipping material. im sorry but was that neccecary? was it neccecary to stop the entire god damn movie just so we could have tai standing there with spaghetti falling out of his pockets? and the mega evolutions for the other digimons felt really rushed too, i had hoped for more build up...but guess i get fuck alll.

The filler.

Now i do enjoy myself a little “filler” once in a while, i wont lie. and i will also not lie when i say that i really enjoyed seeing my boi tais hot nipple-less body. But, again…. DID WE NEED THE FIRST HALF BEING JUST THAT?! i swear to fucking god if you cut out all the filler content from these movies your going to get the entire series down to 5 episodes. Movie 2 was just...filler. fucking filler. i didnt have much issue with movie 3 but they just NEEDED to shove more meiko in..

movie 4 was kind of a bitch to sit trough because the whole damn “plot” made no sense. why was soras digimon the only one who was mad and while the others were just like before? why JUST her? why couldnt the others be like that too? Its just plot convenience at this point. and then it was pretty much just watching tai and matt spew spaghetti out of their pockets and be awkward because sora cant communicate with her friends like a normal person. Honestly it was a little charming at first but it got old pretty quickly…and then dark masters out of nowhere that died as fast as they came on. what a rushed little cameo for that extra nostalgia bait.

Honestly i found myself first liking the character interactions a little once the movies took a break from the action and fighting...but i much more often found myself angrily tapping my foot and going “REEEE MOVE ON.”

The god damn meiko.

Alright you all saw this one coming probably. Now let me just start by saying, i originally didnt mind meiko, or the idea of a new digitestined in the first place. Its welcoming to try and add something new to your otherwise soulless nostalgia cash grab. However we need to look at her from a critical stand point. im not trying to start a hate train, im just going to analyze her for how shes written as a character.

Im sorry to say this guys, but no matter how you look at her, shes a mary sue. Im sorry but all the tropes are there!! but why do i feel this way? heres why:

Her digimon is the sole reason for everything going to shit.

her digimon is in adult stage like gatomon just because.

essentially her digimon is “special”

all the other kids befriended her really fast just because.

everyone likes meiko and nobody seems to have a problem with her

shes the typical “uguu” shy type of girl.

her digimon OF COURSE won the costume contest in movie 2 or 3

leomon finds HER DIGIMON adorable enough to make the others run off... of course….

she cries constantly and does nothing but wine as the others hold her.

She takes up MAJORITY of the screentime for almost all movies. Almost.

POSSIBLY a relationship with the main character, if they actually are baiting us with those scenes in movie 5.

acts and feels like a self-insert OC in a canon universe.

The reason i dont like her is just because im SICK OF HER!! im sick of seeing her fucking face every god damn movie. im sick of the others shoving a friendship speech or talking about her belonging to them for the 700th GOD DAMN TIME, im sick of constantly hearing ME-MEI and MEIKOOOOOO, and im so fucking sick of seeing her sit down and cry or act sad and do NOTHING! shes just THERE TO BE THERE! her “cute little sneezing quirk” wasnt even something they bothered keeping any more. Shes so god damn obnoxious and shallow, and the ENTIRE HALF OF THE 5TH MOVIE WAS SPENT SHOVING MORE FRIENDSHIP SPEECHES IN HER FUCKING HEAD UNTIL SHE NUTTED UP AND STRAIGHT UP TOLD THE OTHERS TO AXE OFF MEICOOMON, while kari got 5 fucking minutes and got posessed or some shit i dont fucking know, does anyone care at this point?! 

shes such a god damn self insert its PAINFUL! and ive read plenty of crappy OC digimon fanfiction in my days to be able to tell when someone props their crappy OC in a canon story. IVE DONE IT MYSELF!! its INSULTING that im watching a canon produced digimon FANFICTION more then an actual OVA. If you like her, FINE, but you CANT ignore how incredibly shallow and flawed shes written. This isnt someone “hating female characters” this is someone whos frustrated a shittly written character who is just causing repetitive sob scenes over and over and over. im sorry but have we not gotten enough flashbacks from meiko and her digimon? do we need 4 more in the fifth movie??? WE GET IT! ITS SAD! SHES SAD!! THEY ARE FRIENDS! MOVE ON ALREADY!!

i dont feel bad for her anymore, its just getting repetitive now. She ate up the entire 5th movie and left nothing to kari but the sloppy leftovers at the end, and because she ran off like an idiot to meicoomon she got tai axed off too……………...but i will get to that.

The lack of animation.

The biggest insult, and this is….dare i say…….something coming from an animation student, is the insufferable animation. The first movie is fine, but from thereon, i feel like the quality dropped significantly. and oh boy, dont get me started on the amount of time they just pan a fucking picture instead of animating them doing shit.

im sorry but did i wait 4-6 months for a fucking clipshow? I know that animating is hard, and the animation industry in japan is absolute fucking shit, but come the fuck on guys. i think movie 5 had so many times where they just panned pictures of the digimon fighting, and the kids running. I guess when you put all your budget into overanimating the short action scenes you got, you dont have much left for them to trow a punch outside of that. and i wouldnt mind if they had just bothered not doing it so much. they do it WAY TOO OFTEN!

in the 4th move they didnt even fucking bother drawing the kids wet while they were in the water. no wet droopy hair, no indication the clothing was soaked, nothing. not a god damn fucking detail or anything.

The nostalgia bait

Hey kids, remember the bus in the digital world??? remember the gear desert? remember the house mimi was a princess in?? remember the pink forest? remember seadramon? remember the dark masters???? remember any of that shit!? remember primary village?! YEAH??? REMEMBER ALL THOSE COOL 01 THINGS??? ok cool, anyway moving on.

The lack of personality/soul

one thing im really passionate about is expressions. expressive characters and facial expressions i something i enjoy drawing a lot. in the original digimon, every character was spesifically designed to be its own thing. sure they stank of the 90s, but they wer UNIQUE. Digimon tri has trown all that shit out the window. Now they all look boring as hell. the only unique thing about them now is their hair. take that away, and you get a bunch of similar looking, boring samefaced characters.

the digimon movies are just so fucking SOULLESS! everyone looks so god damn watered down and tame compared to their former selves. everyone wears a school uniform even when they got summer vacation. they even wear school uniforms as they get to the digital world, and they have NO facial expressions. NONE! the way they talk and show emotions is almost nonexistant. even once they are seriously screaming at someone or focusing on something serious, they still have that stale, boring as shit facial expression. stone faced and COLD! its like you dont even care!! seriously its so frustrating to watch sometimes because they are so god damn bland and barely deviate at all from their typical “idle” face.

^count how many fucking times tai makes this face troughout the entire series. 

^am i the only one who thinks they looks very..bland and dull here? and this happens way too often.

seriously, watch the movies again and notice just how little the animators bothered giving them any fucking emotions. the screenshots here are just from a few minutes in the new movie.

And dont get me started on how everyone seemed so.........accepting of tais “death” i mean sure they might still be in shock,.....but......why did none of pic under appear???? 

WHy was everyone so.....noble??? except kari...who got....fucking owned.

and the digimon....most of them are just....comic relief now. i feel like most of them have little personality, but fucking agumon. what the FUCK have they done to agumon!? hes just a walking talking “i like to eat” joke. hes fucking nothinng. an empty boring sack of shit who just talks about food and NOTHING ELSE!! oh and maybe fights sometimes...but seriously.

The BAIT.

The trailers for these movies have made me fall into the bait they put out. But its getting infuriating now. All the trailer bait for movie 5 was just taken form the last 5 minutes of the film. that little teaser we all thought were going to show the dark ocean? yeah that was what….5 seconds at the very last minute of the movie? Hime was the one who went there, and they even rushed that part. 

remember when we all tought that tai was the kaiser because the animators thought they copy the excact same hairstyle? remember how they all baited us with the kaiser thinking we were gonna get some 02 action? i sure as FUCK do.

i LOVED the last minutes of the movies. i loved the last half of episode 3 and the entire episode 4… but im so fucking angry that i have to wait 4-6 months for the conclusion to when the movie was JUST GETTING INTERESTING! i fucking hate it!!

The 02 kids, or lack thereof.

Ok honestly ive completely forgotten about them, and i dont understand why they bothered putting them in this movie. and they give us absolutly nothing to go on for ALL of the movies! WHY? WHATS THE POINT?! with this series endless stalling, how can they possibly explain their absence or death or whatever in what little time we have left?! how will they half ass this?! i seriously dont get how they can begin with something so intense, only to give us absolutly nothing till the last movie, IF AT ALL!

Taichis “””””””””””””””””death.”””””””””””””””””

So the fuckers had the BALLS to kill off my boi tai. They actually went there. they fucking killed him off. AND LEFT IT ON A CLIFFHANGER! wow fucking good job guys, you sure got me there. i cant believe tai is fucking dead.

except wait a second here…..tai isnt dead. of course he fucking isnt. i mean come the fuck on, are you really expecting them to kill off their marketig king? the face of all their merc? PLEASE! we all fucking know that hes going to come back. THEY BASICALLY SPOILED THE MOVIES FOR US ALREADY, didnt they say in an interview far back that these movies were whats going to lead everyone up to their careers? so why the fuck would tai die when we know hes going to be an ambassador? 

i dont fucking understand why they even bothered with this fake ass death. WE KNOW HES GOING TO COME BACK! im not mad that tai “died,” im mad that they actually bothered making it a cliffhanger, as if we arent going to fucking figure out hes coming back in the next movie. WHATS THE POINT?! Are they going to just shove him off till the last 5 minutes of the last movie? is that it? are they going to do what they did to kari? or are we FINALLY going to see tai resolving his persional issues that have been shoved away to make room for everything else? who knows, who cares at this point?!

The conclusion

Digimon tri was something enjoyable for me to look forward to..but now, its just a bunch of frustrating, medicore, nostalgia cash-grabbing shitfests of movies, and i need to get it out of my system. 

Im angry because i have to wait 4-6 months between each movie only to get nothing. im angry that i have to wait 4-6 months for an hour long movie that has actual content thats 20 minutes long. im sick of having my excpectations set to low, only for them to be lowered even more. im sick of seeing meiko basically becoming the main characters as the others are somewhat side characters at this point. im sick of the shit-tier animation quality and the stone-bored dull surprise faces. im sick of wanting this to be good, only to see that the fucking directors and animators arent even fucking trying anymore. Im sad, that the sequel was put in the hands of incompetent fucks who only know digimon trough their most basic character traits, and nothing more.

i do like tri...and im sad to see it go so soon….but part of me wants to get this over with, because if you like it or not, tri isnt a passionate fan sequel. tri is a boring, mediocre cash grab, and im sad it cantt be more then that, and im sad its over soon...

[biofunmy]

In a Year of Perpetual Motion, Moments That Stopped Time

The 52 Places Traveler

Looking back on a whirlwind journey around the world, the 52 Places Traveler revisits the experiences that offered lessons for travel — and life.

Jan. 6, 2020

On my second day back in New York I walked into my neighborhood bodega and the Yemeni man behind the counter did a double take.

“Damn, bro, what happened? I thought you were dead!” he said.

The following night, I went to pick up an order at the Indian restaurant two blocks from my apartment.

“Long time, no see,” said the Bangladeshi manager who, since I’ve been gone, has grown a bushy beard. “Where have you been?”

What happened? Where have I been? After nearly a year in perpetual transit, hopping between the far-flung spots on 2019’s 52 Places to Go list, these are not easy questions to answer. Maybe a more cohesive picture of a once-in-a-lifetime year will crystallize with time. For now, the best I can do is draw out the moments that float on the surface of my memory, the ones I’m most grateful for, as they taught me invaluable lessons not only about the world, but also about myself. And isn’t that why we travel?

1. When I said yes to goat-carcass games and urban lions

By the third hour in a field on the outskirts of Samarkand, Uzbekistan, my hair had taken on the hue of the dust that filled the air in roaming clouds. Every time I smiled, which was often, more dust poured into my mouth. Two hundred men on horseback galloped back and forth across the dry grass, in pursuit of their target: a goat carcass stuffed full of sand. Shouts from the riders, the whinnying of horses and the cheers of thousands of spectators filled the air. At one point, being the only foreigner — and so a guest of honor — I was invited to ride on the truck that drove onto the field to drop the goat and start each round of kopkari, a sport that originated with the nomadic herders who inhabited these steppes 1,000 years ago.

Six months later and 5,000 miles away, in a small suburb of Dakar, Senegal, “false lions” — men channeling the spirit of the animal — growled, leapt and twirled in elaborate costumes. Drums thundered at earsplitting volumes and children shrieked in delight as the lions chased them through the fluorescently lit streets.

There’s a natural tendency to plan our travels down to the minute: We want to make sure we’re getting the most out of a trip that uses up our valuable money and vacation time. Toward the beginning of the year, I spent hours planning each stop — going over notes on the plane ride and sketching out what each day might look like. By my final stop, I barely knew where I was going to stay until the day before I arrived. The sweet spot is probably somewhere in between, with enough planning to know where you’re going but enough flexibility to say yes to the unexpected. New friends and the currents of serendipity brought me to the horses and the lions — and gave me two experiences I’ll never forget.

2. When I became a member of the guild

Hanging from the zipper of my camera bag is a small, bronze key. It grants me access to the backdoor of the Christian IV’s Guild clubhouse in the Danish city of Aalborg. Over the past year, I’ve accumulated soccer jerseys, paintings and a handwritten poem about an Italian horse, but this key, a symbol of my membership in a Danish society with roots in World War II, has to be the oddest gift. How I got it is just one of many examples of how dropping your guard and letting strangers into your life can lead to experiences far outside the realm of conventional tourism.

It started with Kit Sorensen, a friend twice-removed, who I met on my first afternoon in Aalborg. By the evening, she had taken off work for the remainder of the week to show me around. She took me out for pickled fish and aquavit, the straight-to-your-head spirit that Danes insist on drinking with lunch. Together, we explored World War II bunkers and the city-within-a-city of Fjordbyen. Sensing that I craved a home-cooked meal, she invited me to her family’s house, where I made even more friends — and got invited by a stranger to join the Christian IV’s Guild because he felt that “I had what it takes.”

When traveling alone, it’s up to you how alone you really are. Sit at a bar and take a break from your phone and in minutes you’ll be getting a laundry list of things to do from a local — as I did in Munich, in Danang, in Tunis. You might be invited to their homes — as I was in Georgia, Puerto Rico, Bulgaria. In a quiet bar in the small Japanese city of Takamatsu you might find yourself the only customer, going on a deep dive into salsa and New Orleans jazz with a cat-loving bartender who you would have never known if you hadn’t smiled and said “hello.”

There are walls that as a man traveling alone I didn’t have to put up. Being ethnically ambiguous was also, it turns out, my superpower, blending into the streets of so many places around the world, walking home at night and not even getting a second glance from locals. One’s experience of the world so often depends on one’s identity, and I can only speak to mine. At the same time, I believe that, in general, travelers will encounter kindness far more often than hostility. An open mind, a willingness to learn and an acknowledgment of our own ignorance about a new place or culture flings the doors that separate us wide open. Just ask all my new pen pals.

3. When I became my own best friend on a Norwegian fjord

Before a six-hour solo hike in the fjords surrounding Bergen, Norway, I intentionally left my headphones at home. It was sunny — a rarity for one of Europe’s rainiest cities — and I wanted to be present. It worked. I felt the light, cold breeze; I could smell the dewy grass and feel the foamlike tundra giving way under my boots. Six hours is a lot of time to be walking with nothing but your thoughts, but not once did I feel bored.

When I started this trip, the thought of spending so much time alone was one of my biggest worries. I’m an extrovert by nature. By my third month on the move, I was getting used to it. By my ninth, I was having full-on conversations with myself — out loud.

There’s something beautiful about learning to be comfortable with yourself — especially on the road. I could zero in on moments more completely without worrying whether a companion was having a good time. I could create memories that would be mine and mine alone — building blocks for my development as a person.

I was lonely, too, of course. I cried on the side of a Wyoming highway because John Prine’s “Summer’s End” came on the radio (“Come on home, you don’t have to be alone”); during a nearly four-hour meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant on the Dutch island of Texel, I fell into the abyss of staring at my phone; more than once I dreamed about being on my couch at home, with my partner and cat. But over time, I learned to see those moments coming and lean into them. That threw the distinction between heart-wrenching loneliness and blissful solitude into relief; it made the moments of connection with strangers that much more magical. Solo travel is so many things, psychological roller coaster included.

4. When I crossed the risk line on a dark Chilean highway

It was stupid, plain and simple. After getting off a series of canceled, rerouted and delayed flights that took me from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, to Santiago, Chile, over the course of about 40 hours, I stumbled into a rental car just after sunset and hit the road for the town of La Serena. I was heading 300 miles north to get closer to where I’d be viewing the solar eclipse in a few days. It was about 40 degrees Fahrenheit, but I drove with the windows down and wore a T-shirt, hoping the cold would keep me awake. I blared death metal as loud as the car speakers could handle. I drank coffee like water. One tollbooth worker, seeing my disheveled and wired state, asked me if I was okay. I pulled into La Serena well after midnight.

This year was full of risks; they come with the job when traveling at the pace I was, alone and looking for stories to tell. Within just a few days of traveling this year, it was clear that some risks are worth taking. Getting into a car with that nice stranger promising a plate of life-changing pork in Puerto Rico’s interior? I can handle that. Solo hiking through the snowy Tatra Mountains of Slovakia? Armed with a trail map, I’m good. Driving for five and a half hours in an unfamiliar country, at night, after a hellish flight and no sleep? Nope: That was stupid.

In talking to friends, it quickly became clear that my threshold for risk is different from others’ (“Are you nuts?” my partner asked, after I told her about my night in the woods outside Batumi, Georgia, drinking myself blind with a bunch of strangers). But travel is ultimately a game of choose-your-own-adventure and part of that choice is figuring out the risks you’re comfortable taking. It’s a learning process and there will be mistakes — there sure were for me this year.

By Land and Sea

48 boat rides, 45 train trips

5. When my plans went to hell and I survived

There was the late night in a hotel in Salvador, Brazil, booking a trip to Mexico that would start the following morning, after my plans to get to the Falkland Islands, also known as the Islas Malvinas, had imploded. A total meltdown at the airport had led to check-in lines that extended past the terminal’s entrance. Despite arriving four hours before my flight and checking in online, I missed my flight — and as a result the once-weekly flight to the Falklands.

There was that scorching hot morning at the port in Banjul, Gambia, where my brother and I had no choice but to wait the four hours until a ferry finally arrived. I sweated out every drop of moisture in my body; I downed two liters of water and sweated that out, too, until the also-shadeless ferry arrived.

There was the carefully arranged Airbnb in La Serena that my host canceled with no explanation, just days before my arrival to watch the solar eclipse. I spent most of a night in Mexico, on spotty Wi-Fi looking for alternatives in a city that would be tripling in population for the eclipse.

There was the moment, three months in, when we had to make the call to cut Iran from my travel plans. The geopolitical situation had grown tense and even if I were given a journalist visa (unlikely), we had security concerns. It made the regular messages I received from Iranians on Instagram welcoming me to their country and offering to be my hosts all the more heartbreaking.

Things go wrong when traveling. And there’s something about the places of travel — airports, ferry terminals, train stations, hotels — that magnify feelings of panic and sadness. It’s a powerlessness we’re not used to when we think we have every detail of a trip planned out.

I learned that there’s very little you can do when your plans fall apart. I learned to pinpoint the small actions I could take and leave everything else to play out without me. I started on a long, circuitous route to Mexico the next day and pushed my Falklands trip to later in the month. The ferry did arrive — and 24 hours later, my brother and I were on a boat floating feet away from wild chimpanzees. I found another Airbnb at the last minute, and so what if it was a little farther out of the city? I kept in touch with my new online Iranian friends, promising that one day I would make it there — and I will.

Traveling is an incredible privilege and it’s mind-boggling how easy it is these days to cross the planet. Reminding myself of that got me through many a moment this year that previously would have left me a weepy mess on an airport floor.

under the sea

11 total hours underwater

6. When “no one goes there now” became my time to go

Travel itself, regardless of destination, is taking its toll on the environment: The most frequent, and valid, criticism I’ve received this year is for my Sasquatch-size carbon footprint. While no one at the Times is encouraging everyone to go to 52 places in a year — I’d think again if you are planning on trying this yourself — I also don’t believe the answer is not to travel. To see the natural wonder that still abounds; to encounter the places that are on the verge of catastrophic change because of a warming planet; to meet the people who deal with its effects every day and forge real, profound, cross-cultural connections makes for a more informed, empathetic world. That doesn’t mean there aren’t steps we can take to be more responsible travelers. And part of that is realizing that sustainability goes beyond carbon emissions.

The Falklands in the dead of winter, when I had a colony of King penguins to myself; Mexico in the crushing heat of summer, when the beaches were empty; Senegal and Gambia during the most humid month of the year, when locals were actually excited to see visitors who had braved it; Siberia’s Lake Baikal, in neither the glorious summer nor the spectacularly frozen winter, but instead in autumn, when the trees burn bright yellow.

In planning my trip and limiting cross-continental treks as much as possible, it proved difficult to be everywhere at the “right” time to visit. But again and again, I found myself falling for low season, when it was far easier to blend into the fabric of daily life because I wasn’t just part of a horde of tourists changing the face of entire cities for months at a time.

Cities like Venice — or even Zadar, in Croatia, as I saw when I arrived in the summer — are buckling under the weight of overtourism. As travelers, we could make a difference by spreading the wealth, so to speak. That means, for the most adventurous, going to places that are still hard to get to; it took me two tries to get to the Falklands and three to get out, but that made it special. But it also means thinking outside the “Europe in summer�� paradigm.

taking to the skies

40 airlines, 88 flights (only 1 missed flight)

7. When I really learned what a “place to go” is

There’s beauty, surprise and genuine wonder to be found everywhere — and I mean everywhere. A Vegas naysayer can have his mind changed through a chance encounter with a crew of rockabilly musicians. A half-Indian student of history can learn about a mighty Indian empire, of which he knew nothing, by coming face-to-face with its ruins. A traveler can come home after 11 grueling months of continuous travel and start dreaming of where he’s going next.

But first, some sleep.

Sahred From Source link Travel

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[renegade-skywalker]

Out of the Abyss, Chapter 7

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2  / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7: The Quiet Before the Storm

After years in exile, ex-Jedi General, Eden Valen continues to clean up after Revan and Malak’s mess of a war, only to find herself forever cursed with their unfinished business. As an ill-fated lead brings her to Tatooine, Eden finds that Revan’s mysterious plans go beyond the Republic, beyond the Outer Rim, and into the utter unknown. (A novelization of The Sith Lords and beyond)

Chapter Summary:  General Eden Valen's information has leaked, falling into the hands of bounty hunters, slavers and Republic Agents alike. As Vale and her crew plot their next move, there are already other forces at work threatening their slim chances at success.

3951 BBY, Coruscant

Rell’s eyes began to blur as she scanned pages upon pages of the holonet, tracking several covert forums while listening in on hacked communications – multitasking at her best. She blinked several times in quick succession, cracked her knuckles, and looked over at the row of intelligence officers beside her. They all had that same slack-jawed look about them as their attentive eyes scanned other corners of the holonet, their fingers typing away at commands, controlling remote consoles or looking into any number of leads the Republic was currently tracking.

She exhaled into a yawn before twisting her aching torso in her chair, pleased at the satisfying crack her back made when she turned. Only a few more hours and her shift would be over. Rell cracked her neck and stretched her arms once more before diving head-first into a forum linked to a notorious human trafficking ring orbiting Nar Shaddaa.

There was a certain level of compartmentalization at work as her eyes read queries about “restocked inventory” and “fresh meat”, trying to focus on code words and phrases they were given every few days, and sometimes every few hours, that told them a deal was about to be made. The code words helped her sleep at night, but she knew what they really meant. Despite the distance she kept, she still shivered when she got a lead, resisting the urge to retch when something particularly unsavory crossed her screen. Luckily for her, most of the images ever posted were basic ID photos or mugshots, nothing too graphic – though the “product descriptions” never made for a pleasant read. Whenever a new face came across her dashboard, she flagged and tagged it, and sent it to another department to register and cross-reference with surveillance or security footage. She was doing good work, she reminded herself, but she tried not to wonder just how many faces and files were eventually sent to cold-case…

Most of the faces today cycled from her previous shift, and she tried not to look any of them in the eye, lest she get too attached or too worried. None of them were familiar, though her console told her that most of these files had already been reported by her previously… except for one.

She almost scrolled right past it. It was buried in a message thread about new bounties – and unlike most postings, this one had replies from all over the damn galaxy. Usually, posts about a particular “item” remained within the same sector, or a system at most. Human trafficking was a dark business, but those who ran the rings new that travelling too far ran too many risks. This particular post didn’t have an inordinate amount of responses because it was posted not long ago, but the fact that they were from all over made her chest feel heavy.

Rell scrolled through the responses. Unsavory bounties, usually put on the head of a criminal who didn’t follow through for a crime syndicate were sold into slavery or worse for their “crimes”. Criminals were vindictive, and especially so when they were the on the foul end of a deal-gone-wrong or purposefully-sideways. Punishment for rogue criminals was far worse than what the Republic would do if they were intercepted. Life in prison was always favorable to most any punishment a crime lord could dream up. But this bounty was… different.

The woman’s face was almost familiar to Rell, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. She scrolled through the responses in search of a common interest. Human women were fairly popular among slave traffickers, but why was this one drawing such diverse attention?

Once she read further, she knew why.

“No fracking way,” she breathed involuntarily as the words registered in her mind as if echoing. A Jedi.

Suddenly coursing with adrenaline, her fingers typed furiously in search of more information, looking for the link, the source of the leak. She almost stopped breathing all together…

Rell stared blankly at the screen, the mysterious Jedi’s full profile accessed before her unblinking eyes.

It took her a few moments to think straight. She opened the dialogue box that allowed her to send files to the next department, but found that she wasn’t even sure which department it should go to.

Instead, she uploaded the information to her datapad, threw her headset down at her desk and walked briskly out of the intelligence offices despite the confused stares of her colleagues. She rushed to the main elevators and took it straight to the navy yard, hoping he’d be there.

The rest was almost a blur, her blood thrumming in her veins as she brandished her datapad before the deck officer in desperation.

“But I need to talk to Admiral Onasi immediately!” Rell pleaded, her hand white-knuckling her datapad.

The man was so rattled he didn’t even know what to say anymore, “Agent Amara, I know you’re frustrated but Admiral Onasi is-“

“Right here,” someone finished.

They both spun around to find the veteran now standing beside them, looking tired in his navy fatigues.

Rell almost mauled the man down as she flourished her datapad again, but Admiral Onasi lifted a weary hand, stopping her in her tracks.

“Agent Amara, is it?” he asked, the exhaustion evident in his eyes, “What is this about?”

Rell fell back into habit at Admiral Onasi’s words, stopping and saluting, then stating her name and station before continuing.

“Sir,” she inhaled deeply, “This is about General Eden Valen.”

3951 BBY, Telos IV

For now you will forget me.

Brianna swore that she felt the bitter wind nip at her nose before she awoke in her chambers, alone. Her bedthings were askew, a pillow haphazardly at her feet and her legs tangled in her blanket.

She threw her covers off before examining her fingers, still raw with the cold.

Her dream felt so real, more real than any in recent memory. Brianna had the misfortune of experiencing vivid dreams all too often. She had once believed them to be prophetic but was soon dissuaded by the unrelenting doubt of her sisters, and the slow persuasion of her Mistress. She resigned her delusions and paid her dreams no more mind, and yet, this one felt different. It felt more like a memory and its weight carried over into waking life. It was not odd for Brianna to find herself plagued with the thought of bad dreams upon waking, as would anyone else. Nightmares tended to dictate some portion of the day that would follow, but often in sentiment and not in physical feeling. Brianna felt her feet and found that her toes were ice. Her extremities were freezing, as if she had just come out of the bitter cold.

She emerged from her bed and walked over to her refresher with purpose, kicking her blanket free from her foot as she approached. Her cheeks were red in the mirror, almost bloody in comparison to her porcelain complexion and stark white hair. She stood there, hands cradling her face, as she pieced the vividness of her dream together.

The beginning was muddled. She knew it began with brief images of Atris, the Academy, her father and the imagined face of her dead mother. The rest was where it became clearer… she, Arianna and Orenna were scouting the mountain – which was decidedly odd as they never scouted the mountain, there was never any need. And yet, the three of five Echani sisters explored the mountaintop in search of something, dressed their traditional white attire, becoming one with the falling snow. The air had stilled, falling frozen around her, before Brianna recalled a figure in the fallen flurry, with a face she could almost remember until it all faded, and the last Brianna recalled was the cold sweat of her forehead as she shot out of bed.

Taking a deep breath, Brianna looked at herself one last time before dressing, mentally ridding her mind of the notion that her dreams could have any implication other than that she was different, that she was other, and that she did not belong.

She emerged from her chambers to find her sisters already congregated at the center table, eating in silence. Their eyes lifted in unison, surveying their youngest sister and lingering over the redness of her cheeks before returning to their morning meal. Brianna nodded at them, smiled, though only two of them returned the gesture. A small victory.

Without thinking, she watched Arianna and Orenna as she ate, looking out for signs of redness, any indication that they had been out in the cold. But they were as still and silent as the others, rendered quiet by discipline and their Mistress’s strict schedule.

Brianna was the last to finish her meal, but her sisters voiced no qualm. They were trained not to. Instead, she saw their impatience in their eyes.

She scarfed down the final bites of her meager breakfast, all part of their disciplinary lifestyle, before she pushed her plate away and stood with the rest of her sisters in unison. Without a word, they left the common room and filed into the training hall. Brianna noticed that she left her room’s door ajar, mentally berating herself for being so careless. Being the last in line, as always, Brianna slipped back to close her door before her sisters could notice – only to find Master Atris waiting for her.

“Ah- Mistress!” Brianna gasped. Atris had not been standing there as they rose from the table, and she wondered when her Mistress had slipped into the room. Atris had command of the Force, and though she and her sisters were well-versed in ways to resist its powers, she knew there was more to the Force than she was ready to understand.

“I’m sorry Brianna, but I wished to speak with you alone,” Atris said, her voice soft and sweet, almost uncharacteristically so.

“Bri-?“ she said, surprised, unused to Mistress referring to her by name.

“Brianna,” Atris said again, smiling.

Brianna returned the smile, but was unsure of how genuine it appeared. Fear swelled in her chest and she wondered if it showed.

“I wanted to ask you a few questions, and I have a request.” Atris stated.

“Of course, Mistress,” Brianna replied, bowing slightly. She then resumed her usual stance with the woman before her, finally in control despite her surprise.

“Do you remember the stories I told you? About my old student?” Atris asked, her voice controlled and calm. Brianna stood at attention, but even still she sensed the tenseness emanating off her Mistress despite her best efforts. She tried not to betray her knowledge, and her curiosity, as she nodded in affirmation.

“Good, good,” Atris began, clasping her hands before her as if it were part of a meditation exercise, “I believe I need to ask a favor of you, a favor that relies on your recollection of her appearance, and her most recent whereabouts.”

Brianna nodded again, awaiting instruction. The way Mistress spoke of her old student always felt familiar to Brianna. It was the one time Atris ever betrayed emotion, the one time she was unable to compose herself without practice, making itself imminent. It was not unlike how Brianna felt about her sisters, or so she thought. The pain was evident on her face.

“But I ask that you go alone.” Atris finished.

Brianna remained silent, uncertain. She was about to ask why when Atris continued.

“I need this to remain as discreet as possible. I don’t want you to breathe a word of this to your sisters.”

Atris moved closer, placing a careful hand on Brianna’s shoulder.

“I entrust you with this mission, alone.”

“Alone?” Brianna tried not to betray her inner uncertainty, but her Mistress’s hand stayed her.

“You are not unlike myself, Brianna,” she said, using her name again, “I feel as if only you are up to the task.”

“But-?”

“But what will I tell the others?” Atris laughed, her voice hollow but melodic, like distant chimes on the wind, “You need not worry.”

Atris’ eyes were steadying but cold. Brianna nodded, unfamiliar with anything but compliance.

Brianna’s eyes unwittingly looked toward her open chamber door, catching a glimpse of her skewed bed and blanket. Her fingers and her face were still cold.

Atris extended a hand to her cheek, as if to calm her, but her fingers were cold, too.

“There’s no need to worry about the cold where you’re going,” she said, as if reading her thoughts, “In fact, there’s no need at all.”

3951 BBY; Anchorhead, Tatooine

Erebus felt the void leave Anchorhead, sensing the energies in the universe manifest around it as if it were not there, moving around it seamlessly like water forking before a large stone staked in a river. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t taken up this line of work were it not for his sister and what she did at Malachor V, were it not for what she had become.

His sister’s connection to the Force was always a matter of dark import to the Masters on Dantooine, and a matter of objective scholarly interest to few on Coruscant, but none were brave enough to learn more – save for Master Nomi Sunrider. But when she was called away on business, there were no others who dared get close enough for fear of what his sister’s “bond” might do to them, lest it ensnare them unknowingly and rope in their energies, somehow. He believed it too, once, until Malachor was swallowed whole and he felt the Force gather tenfold in his bones as it slowly left the vestiges of his sister, leaving her to become the walking black hole that she was now – a gaping nothingness that defied the laws of all he knew, living despite what should have killed her.

But she seemed almost better for it, content, as if the universe paying her no mind were the best thing that could have happened. Given how many of the Jedi once looked upon her with uncertainty and unbridled fear, maybe it was. It wasn’t until Aiden embraced his fear and called himself Erebus did he give his sister the attention she had deserved.

In the aftermath of the war, he became unstable, unsure of his newfound power and unsure of what to do with it. Had he siphoned it off her, unknowingly? Had the Force fled her, after the massacre on the Mandalorian moon, and sought refuge in her twin? But the Force didn’t work that way. Despite all his years of research as a junior Jedi Historian and as an acolyte under Darth Nihilus, Erebus was not sure, even now. Perhaps his sister’s Force bonds were stronger than any of them realized, the Jedi and the Sith combined.

His Sith Masters mentioned her often, almost as if she were the birth mother of their darkness. In a way, she was. The Mass Shadow Generator should have killed her, or at least twisted her in the way it did Nihilus and his contemporary, Sion. They both considered Malachor to be their birthplace, as did their old mentor, a woman called Traya. But she was gone by the time Nihilus knighted Erebus and granted him the title of Darth. It was a privilege, yes, but he was still subordinate… for now.

But now he had Eden in his grasp. Still undecided as to whether he would capture her and deliver her to Nihilus in hopes of an increase in rank or just approach her to simply talk, Erebus had staked out her droid repair stall in the meanwhile. She had hastily closed shop before leaving, but his frequent patrols dissuaded any potential burglaries, or so he imagined. He felt her void crawl back towards Anchorhead from the Dune Sea now, but as her emptiness neared, Erebus also felt something else.

The feeling was familiar, and it reeked of Malachor. It was hard to tell whether it had to do with Eden herself or something else entirely.

But that wasn’t the only development in her absence.

Since she had departed, the Exchange posted a bounty on all Jedi. The galactic black market was already alight with rumors and gossip, talk of potential candidates for the reward and word of where Jedi or other Force-users might be found, but there was a particular interest in General Eden Valen herself. Erebus and his Master were both aware, and Nihilus was particularly interested in news of the living Force wound.

Erebus’ skin crawled at the thought. He knew if he brought his sister before Nihilus that she would be subject to countless experiments, tests, and all means of torture in spite of his reverence – when part of Erebus really wanted to keep her all to himself. It was the reason he remained quiet about her upon first arriving, his gut wrenching at the news when her records were released.

He tried looking into where the leak originated to discover its source, but had no luck. Even extending his senses through the Force did no good. All he felt was malevolence and betrayal, and that wasn’t much to go on considering all the Sith or scum that sought such a prize. Despite the setbacks, Erebus knew he had the upper hand. He was the only one who knew she was here, he was the only one aware of her current excursion out to the Dune Sea, and he was the only one keeping tabs on her presence as her emptiness descended upon Anchorhead once again.

The confines of his ship rendered him restless, and it was time that he scout the area before her arrival. Erebus gathered his belongings, clipping his lightsaber to his belt, making sure it was well concealed beneath his cloak, before descending the loading ramp and making his usual rounds.

Energies milled about him, threatening to cloud his senses. After a breath or two, he could track each individual source of life within the city walls to some extent. He walked past the loading docks to the local bar, walking past a scuffle or two before entering the merchant’s district. This portion of the city was always in flux. Different stalls propped up every day as others disappeared into oblivion, but his sister’s shop remained.

Like any other Tatooine settlement, Anchorhead’s population was always changing, but Eden had chosen to stay. It was only in the past few days that he wondered why she was among them. The closer her nothingness approached the city, the more he suspected it had to do with the artifact he had originally come for. She knew, somehow.

Nothing dwelled about his sister’s shop, passersby heeding the ‘gone on business’ sign with some respect, it seemed. He slipped into the back entrance without being seen, and reached out with the Force to explore her residence without stirring a single droid this time.

Her workbench felt the most familiar. Erebus recalled Eden coming to him with her first crafted lightsaber. She was only eight. The pride was evident in her eyes, but the envy was more than evident in his. An absent hand traced the edges of the workbench, resurrecting the memory for just a moment, before he pulled himself away and meditated.

There was energy here, but faint. It was clear that there was something here, but the fact that the area was full of inactive droids and run by a person void of the Force made it feel hollow all the same. Yet somehow, despite the dissonance in the energy around him, it felt comforting. He felt some welcome sense of familiarity he was unwilling to let go of. Erebus almost hoped Eden would never return from whatever journey she had embarked on. Maybe it was better that way.

Then the unease set in, subtle and slow.

Before he knew it, Erebus knew she was on the precipice, at the very edge of the city.

His eyes shot open, his breath quick, his body unwilling to leave this place that felt so much like home – a home he never knew enough to even miss.

Nihilus would be waiting. He’d either capture Eden or let her get away. One of these scenarios ended in veneration, and the other in death.

Despite what ambition had inspired him these last nine years, Erebus stayed his hand, unsure of what to do next, waiting for his sister to arrive and discover him, for the first time since… when, exactly? He didn’t even recall what year their last meeting was, and his mind retreated to the mental place he found when he first discovered the part of him that was Erebus and became him.

The darkness enveloped his senses, quashing whatever sentiment remained, welcoming him like an old friend.

Maybe the decision was not as difficult as he predicted.

3951 BBY; approaching Anchorhead, Tatooine

Vale’s mind reeled as they neared Anchorhead again.

She had retreated to her makeshift quarters under the pretense that she was calibrating what she had recovered from the site the previous day. After encountering the Jawa, Orex ordered that they return to Anchorhead as quickly as possible. They had not stopped once since that meeting.

Vale was the first to meet them out on the sands. She was the only one with a handle on the equipment used to translate their gibberish. She knew a bit herself, but not enough to translate accurately. Even before her translator could do the work, a bad feeling crept over her as the miniature creatures squeaked and squawked at her. The Jawa had not come for the crawler. In fact, they never mentioned the salvaged vessel at all. Instead, they asked what became of their journey to “the untouched village” as they called it. They asked if they heard the voices, and heeded the whispers. Vale asked what they knew of the place, but the Jawa refused to elaborate on anything aside from the fact that they were lucky to leave with their lives. Of Tatooine’s many secrets, this was one they had always known to fear. They had known to stay away from the Star Forge navigational chart buried deep in the krayt dragon dens, but this… this was different.

“The Star Forge?” she asked, her transcoder repeating her words in high-pitched Jawaese.

“The dark one was here,” one of them said, the translation replied in a soothing monotone, “And the one they called Revan.”

Orex stood still beside her, his brows furrowed against the sun, but their eyes met at the mention of Revan’s name.

“The dark one?” she repeated, noting that they mentioned Revan by name but someone else, as well. Malak? But the Jawa ignored the question – whether intentionally or not, she could not tell – and continued.

“The people of before left mechanical maps, but the dark one left something else. The thing you carry is dark and dangerous, like them. The one called Revan came looking, too."

The Jawa wished them luck and sent them on their way, almost as if they were afraid to linger any longer before dissolving into the Dune Sea themselves, preferring the isolation of the sands to the darkness Vale and her crew now carried with them.

She was still unsure as to what their next move was. Who would they contact? Was there any way of destroying these artifacts safely? She had no idea, but she had every intention of finding out as soon as she had access to the holonet, if it were any help.

She sighed in relief as the treads slowed again, marking their return to Anchorhead.

Glitch parked the monolithic vehicle a ways outside of the city. Darek and Orex were already lugging salvaged swoop bikes from the cargo hold for their return. Vale heard the commotion down on the loading ramp, but felt someone watching her from the doorway as she gathered her things.

“What I still can’t figure out is why in the ‘verse Darek would have wanted me on this mission.” Asra stated, crossing her arms. “The hell if I know anything about… well, any of this.”

“Before I even signed on, I knew you were the best shot in town.” Vale said, watching Asra fidget. She couldn’t seem to decide whether she wanted to lean broodingly in the doorway, crack her knuckles or stroke her head-tails. “But really, it might be the montrals.”

Vale nodded at the white-striped blue montrals that protruded from Asra’s head. Like other Togruta, Asra wore a headdress around them – though hers was a simple silver chain with tear-drop beads weighing its linked tendrils in place. And also like other Togruta, Asra’s montrals were capable of sensing where something or someone was, even without the Force.

“You’re probably closer to a Jedi than I am these days,” Vale joked, though the humor fell flat and Asra’s eyes shifted.

“I didn’t know the Jedi could do that,” she said, her voice soft and tentative, “Strip the Force from a person? I may not know what it’s like, but it sounds like it would be horrible.”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds. Well, sort of,” Vale explained as she surveyed what droids remained in the hold, making sure that whatever diagnostics she could use were properly uploaded, “It’s a bit like living without a limb, only the loss of it doesn’t hurt as much as it hinders.”

Asra frowned, confused. Vale sighed, well-aware that she was doing a piss-poor job of explaining the Force, something she hadn’t felt in almost a decade.

“Imagine you woke up one day, and your dominant hand was missing. Not wrenched from you, not sawn off or anything gruesome. Just… gone.”

Asra considered her words, nodding, flexing her trigger finger as if taking Vale’s metaphor to heart. “You go to use it and… it’s not there?”

Vale nodded.

The feeling that flooded her at Malachor was worse than anything that came after. She wasn’t sure what happened, but once she left the Council chamber days later, her verdict ringing in her ears, the Force was void. It did not answer to her any longer, and it was almost as if it was never there. Almost.

Even still, she found herself trying to reach out with the Force at times. She was never skilled with mind tricks or the like, but as a Jedi Guardian she was used to harnessing the Force to enhance her speed or physical skill. Vale had to get used to taking things slow and steady, and accounting for gravity more than she was used to. She was now used to a shock staff more than she was a lightsaber, or so she believed, and a blaster felt more at home in her hand than she ever imagined one would be.

“I’m sorry to even ask, I just-“ Asra started, unable to finish her thought.

“It’s okay, really.” Vale hadn’t expected to make any friends out here, or ever, but from the moment she met Asra, she knew things were different. She tried to keep her distance, but in the past few months she had to admit that it was nice to see a familiar face around. Asra felt betrayed for a moment earlier, but she was trying to understand things now, and that was more than anyone had ever done for Vale, even before her exile.

“I still don’t feel right,” Asra admitted, absently stroking her head-tails again as Vale filled her pack, finding one of the mysterious onyx pyramids among her things, “I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m not familiar with any of this, but-“

Vale stayed her, taking her hand from her pack and laying it gently on Asra’s shoulder. “I may have a history with this stuff, but we’re just as clueless as you are. And besides, I’m-“ Vale swallowed hard, “I’m really glad you were there.”

Dredging up memories was never easy, but Vale had no idea how she may have reacted if she had heard the ghost of Malak in her ear without Asra by her side. Asra looked up at her, appreciative, nodding in recognition.

“I guess I’m glad, too.”

Asra nodded in the direction of the droids, asking without words if Vale needed any more help. The Togruta helped her load some intelligence modules into a pack and load it onto one of the swoop bikes out on the dunes. Darek and Asra exchanged soft glances, and Orex looked at Vale with purpose.

“I think I may have an idea of who we can contact,” he said, though his voice was gruff and unsure. “I’ll need to check on a few things first, and it’s no guarantee.”

Orex and Vale spoke with their heads together, their whispers almost muted by the surrounding sands and the unforgiving winds upon them. Vale thought of Dxun and how the rain would drown out most sounds, allowing enemy troops to approach unannounced, despite their better efforts. She had a momentary flash of memory, of a man in his twenties disarming mines ahead of them, his boots caked with mud and what seemed like a permanent spatter of blood across his chest. Vale shook her head, looking at Orex with a better idea of who he was, once.

“It’s better than nothing,” she said. Orex nodded, his good eye glinting in the suns before he turned on his heel and mounted a swoop bike beside them.

Asra awaited her, ready. Vale swung her leg over the body of the mechanical beast, gripping Asra’s waist as the engine thrummed beneath them. She reached a hand back to make sure her pack was in place, her shock staff snug and secure in the straps. She lowered a pair of goggles over her eyes and nodded at Asra as she coaxed the throttle, sending them forward.

No one batted an eye as they entered the city. They were just another troupe of travelers, no one remarkable or of note. No one could feel the darkness they brought with them. Asra and the others cut their engines once they were inside the city gates, the other inhabitants milling about them without a second glance.

Vale lifted her goggles to rest on her forehead as she dismounted the swoop bike. Asra swung her leg around as well, careening the bike in the general direction of Vale’s shop as they walked. When they approached, the stall was quiet, but something wasn’t right.

Vale had no words for what she felt, or why, but she held up a hand to stay the others. Without words, they obeyed and milled about the market square as if nothing suspicious were happening. Vale approached her shop with caution, walking around the perimeter, keeping an eye out for foot prints or any other evidence that the place had been breached. Nothing caught her eye, but something didn’t feel right.

She lifted the sign she had left days ago, “gone on business”, and tucked it into her pack as she tentatively entered her shop alone. The droids were accounted for and untampered with, so it seemed. Her eyes scanned the area, looking for any sign of intrusion, of wrongness. Nothing jumped out at her. She approached her workspace in the back, and though nothing look disturbed, it felt… wrong. That same feeling of offness struck a chord with her, leaving a bad taste in her mouth, though she did not know how or why.

Asra poked her head in the front entrance before waving the rest of them inside. They had milled about the city center long enough, and it was time they discussed their next move.

Vale sighed as the rest of them filed inside. Darek, Orex and Asra brought their bikes around back and Glitch carefully shouldered the munitions pack onto the counter in the workshop. The others gathered at Vale’s side, after ensuring that the entrances remained closed. In turn, they shared dark glances, though none of them dared touch the pack – they knew not to. But it remained a reminder between them, and it made the air feel heavy.

They brought back more materials than anyone else ever had from the site before, and it wasn’t until now that they could truly remark on their loot, forgetting the more important topic at hand for just a few moments of reprieve and relief.

Darek was particularly excited about some Great Hyperspace War era weaponry, surprised at the near-pristine condition most of it was in. The swoop bikes were another perk, though those were not nearly as old. Glitch mumbled some things to Orex, to which he nodded in admiration though Vale hardly heard a word. Orex ruffled the girl’s hair and Vale wondered whether she was some kind of protégé of his, now that she knew the man a little better. The girl was good with explosives, which, as Vale recalled, was Orex’s specialty as a Republic soldier.

Vale even allowed herself to get excited. Some of the droids at the site were old, but their intelligence modules were still programmed to track moisture harvests with near precision, which was worth its weight in gold out here. She knew a lot of customers who might appreciate such a thing out in these parts, and for a decent price to boot - especially since Vale hadn’t put any money down to buy them. The others talked about the deserted town itself, digging into the lore conversationally as Vale unloaded her pack, happening upon the old relic again. She placed it carefully on the counter before her, watching how it caught the light as the others’ conversation slowed, and they, too, became engrossed in watching on.

“How old would you say is some of the stuff you saw there, Darek?” Vale asked, absently reaching for her work goggles.

“About a thousand years old,” Darek replied, his voice growing softer with each word, “Why?”

“How old would you say this thing is?” Vale said, gesturing towards the miniature pyramid. Darek only shrugged.

She placed her work goggles over her eyes and magnified the lenses so she could get a closer look. Upon further inspection, it looked as if there were miniature binary designs in the onyx, or whatever the hell it was, but she would need to examine the thing even closer before making any definitive conclusions.

“Is there someone we can send this to? Some kind of expert?” Asra asked, the worry evident in her tone of voice.

For a moment, Vale thought of her brother and of Atris, and how they would busy themselves with the datapads, ancient scrolls and books of the Jedi Archives. She wondered if the place still stood, and who was in charge now. If there was anyone left.

“Whoever can handle these things might be our only bet,” Orex said, clearly referring to the crystals stashed safely in the munitions pack.

Vale sighed, lowering her goggles before taking them off entirely, though she was almost tempted to throw them across the room. Resisting the urge, she placed them as gently as she could on her workbench and surveyed the others.

“So who do we go to? The Republic? Is that our next move?”

“Maybe,” Orex said, “Like I said, I still have some contacts there. The Jedi had close ties with the Republic, and I have a feeling that not every Jedi was wiped out at that conclave.”

“Or so we hope,” Vale said, mentally reminding herself not to tempt her curiosity on the matter. Malak was gone forever, yes, but there were still others that she had once cared for that were alive and well before she knew any different. Revan was missing, for one. But she also thought of the Council: of Atris’ stoic stare, full of betrayal and hurt-nearing-hatred; and Kavar’s eyes, a dark and deep sapphire like sea after a storm, heavy with regret. And she thought of Nomi, too, her first Master. In her desperation, she had sought Master Sunrider out not long after her exile, when she still stumbled blindly out on the Rim without the guidance of the Force. But she had no luck. And none, either, when she sought information on her brother and his whereabouts. The last she had heard, however, was that he was no longer on Coruscant, but that could mean a thousand things. She wondered if he, too, had gone to the conclave on Katarr. She wondered if any of them had.

“I’m pretty sure they prepare for this sort of thing. The Jedi would know not to all gather in one place, especially if something like this could happen. It might have happened before, but I'm not sure.” Vale said, vaguely remembering a scandal from around the time that she was first asked to join Revan’s cause that flirted with the idea of a Jedi fail-safe. "Either way, they're definitely in hiding now, and probably impossible to get a hold of."

“And they wouldn’t want to be found,” Orex finished. Vale nodded.

“Who do you still keep in contact with?” she asked. “In the Republic?”

“A few soldiers and techs, you’d remember them,” Orex responded almost fondly, “And they’d be glad to know you were still around, too.”

Vale felt her cheeks grow warm at the thought, but Orex continued without comment.

“Who was that Republic soldier that traveled with Revan?” Vale suddenly remembered before getting too sentimental. “He was a Republic soldier, right?”

She remembered the name had sounded familiar when talk of Revan's return were abound, but the name escaped her now.

Orex nodded in affirmation before saying, “I think he’s a higher up, now.”

“He would be,” she replied, considering the chain of command, “Do you know anyone working directly with him?”

“Pretty sure he’s heading the relief efforts so it shouldn’t be hard,” Orex answered.

“He might be our best bet,” Vale considered, unsure of where her gut was getting its ideas. She was still eyeing the pyramid before her, dredging up memories she had once sworn to bury. She thought of Revan, she thought of Dxun, and she tried to recall nights when Malak awoke in a sweat, screaming. Perhaps he had said something in passing, or shouted it from the depths of his dreams before waking her. There had to be something, anything. But despite what she could recall, Revan was still out there and she was their best hope, their only hope.

Revan had gone missing on purpose, but was this the reason why?

The miniature relic betrayed no secrets, and remained silent and still.

The heat enveloped her, and welcomed her more than the cold ever did. Still, she was instructed to draw her hood – all the better to mask her features, to keep herself hidden and nondescript. Despite the shade, Brianna relished in the plush warmth of the suns basking down on her from above, settling over her cool skin like velvet. She had been cold for far too long.

The hood hid not only her notable features but also the smile that crept across her mouth at the sensation. Her skin yearned to drink in the heat of this planet and let it settle deep within her bones, but she was not to be here for long. She was only here to observe. As per her Mistress’ instructions, there would be a shop ahead, several hundred paces ahead of her – though all she could see were the masses milling about the marketplace. Once in the general vicinity, she would wait for word, and watch. She had never been trusted enough to go anywhere on her own. Despite the ill feeling that plagued her at the thought, the warmth that pervaded her hooded cloak, the sensuous smells of the sand, and even the feel of it embedded in her fingernails and stuck in the crevices of her boots made her feel a little bit more alive and she did not envy the creeping cold back home. It was seldom she experienced anything other than snow, if she were allowed outside at all. The shifting weight of the sand beneath her boots was something so unlike the solid crunching of snowfall underfoot that she was almost entranced enough to forget where it was she was going. Though she was more familiar with what was cold and lonesome, she had seen places other than the mountain. Dense jungle frontier, the pervasive thickness of swamp land, the nothingness of vast plains – and yet the desert beyond this town was something she had never seen. Sure, the prairies and plains of other worlds seemed endless but there was something entrancing about the vast neverendingness of the desert. Unlike other wastelands, this one did not feel empty and she could not explain why. She had tried to divulge her feelings, but her mistress had simply bid her to “Heed not, child,” and she obeyed, despite the very thought of it dogging her brain. A building bearing the same facade described in her mission came into view, even though many of the formations here looked so similar – clay walls topped with burnt orange doors to match the tents overhead and the hue of the sky when the twin suns set. Her steps slowed as she approached, soaking it all in.

The shop sign read as described, and Brianna was not one to admit that she was almost afraid. She stopped and looked about, looking for a place from which to watch safely. Not far off was a food stall and several well-worn tables covered with meager shade. She ordered something she could eat slowly, and parked herself at a vacant table for two. Tempted as she was to watch everything around her, Brianna was drawn to the place she was assigned to keep an eye on, if not for the import of her mission, but for the curiosity that drew her eye there. Beyond its walls was the woman that betrayed her Mistress, the woman who abandoned the Jedi and all they stood for.

Soon, there would be swarms in the market-place, and though Atris already predicted the outcome of the scuffle to come, Brianna was to report the results promptly and not leave a single detail out of her retelling. Brianna watched and waited, eager for the action to unfold.

[luucarii]

Persona 5 Ramblings

this shit is long. like really long.

and I sound like a crazed fangirl so....

MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. IM TALKING ABOUT LIKE ALMOST EVERYTHING BUD!!!

also, i curse way too much in this... apologies in advance 

also, happy father’s day even though this has nothing to do with it :)

THIS IS ALL BACKGROUND ON ME BEFORE I GOT THE GAME SKIP TO THE NEXT BOLD PART IF YOU WANT TO HEAR MY OPINION ON THE GAME ITSELF.

Okay, so I’ve mentioned vaguely how Persona 5 is my first encounter with the Persona series. I’d heard bits and pieces about the series but I never really understood the concept of Persona until maybe mid April of this year. I was on spring break from school and I don’t remember how exactly how I stumbled across it but i found this playthrough of Persona 5 on youtube and I was mildly interested. So I clicked on it, and into the emotional rollercoaster that is this game i went.

At the time, there was only about 11 episodes of the play through (each around an hour long) so I binged watched each episode ending up with me staying up past 2 am. I was just so invested. The opening drew me in the minute the camera showed off that smug little bastard Joker’s smirk over the casino (I’ll get into why I love this kid and the rest of the cast later). I was confused since I was going into Persona 5 with no knowledge of the whole concept of Personas at all. I was kinda just like “wow this looks badass. What is he doing? Oh my god, this game is so pretty.”

I ended up skipping around once I got tired of waiting for a new episode and watched this long ass livestream. I got to about Okumura’s Palace before there was nothing left for me to watch but the boss battles uploaded, which did spoil me a little bit and got me a bit confused but I was so interested that I honestly didn’t care. I was so surprised at Niijima’s Palace and her boss battle as a whole and was like “SHIT THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME!!!! OH MY GOD EVERYTHINGS BACK”

From there, I skipped straight to the traitor - aka Akechi’s battle - and can I just say, I was not surprised that he had a Persona but I was surprised that he betrayed the group considering all the story shit I skipped. Shido’s fight was fairly interesting to me but again, I skipped a bunch of story shit so I was really just rooting for the Phantom Thieves because this was THE ASSHOLE WHO GAVE MY POOR LITTLE AKIRA A CRIMINAL RECORD.

Skipped a bunch of shit again and onto the fight with Yaldobaoth. At this point I was drawing a lot of similarities to Xenoblade Chronicles, fighting a God for freedom and then THEY PULLED THE WHOLE BELIEF THINGY (which they did at the end of Okami as well) AT THE END WITH MISHIMA AND THE REST OF TOKYO BELIEVING IN THE THIEVES AND I WAS SOBBING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH AT 2 AM.

And after that, I made it a point that one day I’d play this game for myself. And it was maybe a few days after that I finally got the game.

Now at the time (and still now) I didn’t own a PS4 and was forced to use my brother’s when he was at work. Adding to the fact that school was beginning to start up again, I had at most maybe 6 hours to play a day if homework didn’t take up all my time. So what might’ve taken me a few weeks to beat took me almost 2 months to beat because of timing. 

BUT OH WELL, I HAD THE GAME, I PLAYED THE GAME, I LOVED THE GAME AND NOW IM GOING TO SQUEAL LIKE A FANGIRL OVER EVERY ASPECT OF THIS GAME THAT I ADORED.

GAMEPLAY

Okay, so I’ve played my fair share of JRPGs and Persona 5 was a nice familiarity. All the dungeon crawling, the fighting, turn-base combat, ya’ll get it.

BUT UM THESE DUNGEONS (Palaces if you would) ARE FREAKING GORGEOUS, HELL THE GAME ITSELF IS GORGEOUS.

Each Palace and their respective Shadow ruler has their own design, personality and each are based on the seven deadly sins which (after finishing FullMetal Alchemist a few months earlier) I thought was clever and interesting.

Kamoshida’s castle was a nice balance of a first dungeon and “hey we’re not gonna hold your hand, this is fairly simply kill some Shadows, find the infiltration route and don’t get kicked out.” ALSO RYUJI AND ANN’S AWAKENINGS. JUST THAT. INCREDIBLE.

Madarame’s museum had a little bit more difficulty but was still fairly easy. The security bars kinda gave me a little anxiety considering I was still getting used to all the controls (I had just finished an Xbox One game before playing this so my buttons were mixed up) and the little painting guessing game was a bit dumb considering each Sayuri looked EXACTLY THE SAME TO ME (except the color swapped ones) ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING YUSUKE WAS THERE AND COULD HAVE EASILY TOLD US BUT NO HE WANTED TO TEST AKIRA’S ART SKILL. ARE YOU APART OF THE PHANTOM THIEVES OR NOT YUSUKE??????????

but i digress…

Kaneshiro’s bank was fun but GOD SEND THOSE FREAKING SECURITY CAMERAS AND THOSE SHADOW DOGS TO HELL OH MY GOD I HATED THOSE. See my thing is, I’m not exactly a stealthy person. Which is why I love hiding because you can sneak up on Shadows and ambush them easily. I hate raising security level and those damn dogs were so annoying and just ugh. Those dogs are honestly one of the few grips I have with the game. Also, MAKOTO IS THE ACTUAL QUEEN.

Futaba’s temple was by far the longest one for me in terms of gameplay hours (in game time took me about 2-3 days) but it was still fun nonetheless and I’m glad Futaba (who is one of my favorite female characters) got some closure on her story with her mother and was able to rise above that. I’m a sucker for tragic backstories when their well executed. (i still to this day do not know how to pronounce her Persona…)

Okumura’s spaceship was my favorite aesthetically because I’ve always been interested in space and the stars and the little puzzle at the end with the space pockets was a nice bit of challenging and flying through Metaverse space. ALSO HARU HAS FLUFFY FLUFF HAIR AND HAS MY SECOND FAVORITE PHANTOM THIEF OUTFIT 

hmm, i wonder who has my favorite Phantom Thief outfit... Joker... It’s Joker... god damn those red gloves

Niijima’s casino, which OH MY GOD WERE BACK TO THE BEGINNING AND AKECHI’S WITH US AHH, and WHIMS OF FATE IS BEST PALACE THEME.

It was my favorite palace, no questions asked.

Shido’s ship was another long one but finally getting revenge on this dick was incredible. Also, AKECHI AND RYUJI PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS.

Mementos was a good idea as a whole but the way it was executed everything just sort of blended together for me and there were only a few requests that stood out to me. The music was bland (one of the blandest on the soundtrack, especially compared to the other Palace themes casually mentions Whims of Fates again) and during the late floors of Mementos, everything got so dark and it was really hard to see.

CHARACTERS

expect this to be me screaming a lot.

Akira Kurusu (Protagonist)

okay, um, i love this boy. like a lot. LIKE I WOULD DIE FOR HIM.

For a silent protagonist this guy sure has a lot of character. The rare times he speaks in cutscenes, specifically the ones where he’s Joker, he has this sort of cocky arrogance yet when he’s little Akira in his Shujin uniform he’s a quiet little curious boy. He’s incredible under pressure, like there’s only a few things that make him crack and his dialogue options are priceless.

I especially love Joker because I’m an honest to god mess when it comes to smug bastards and I have an unhealthy love for those crimson gloves of his.

But honestly he doesn’t deserve half the shit he gets in game. Besides the whole “game” set up by Yaldobaoth, he was sent away from his family and presumedly the friends he had back in his hometown all because of his probation, literally no one treats him with any sort of respect when he gets to Shibuya. Sojiro reminds him countless times the first what 3-4 months that he’ll be kicked out if he breaks his probation which (besides doing all that illegal shit as Phantom Thieves) he honestly just goes to school (a place where he gets even more shit from teachers and students), hangs out a little after and comes straight home. I know Akira’s been established to have a bad reputation because of his record but don’t these people have eyes??? Can’t they see that he’s obviously not a bad guy based on what he’s doing in school and not getting involved with the police??? Sojiro's exempt from this because he at least grows to like having Akira around and trusts him enough to go out at night, work in the store alone and lock up from him when he leaves.

AKIRA IS A GOOD BOY WHO DIDN’T DESERVE ALL THE SHIT GIVEN TO HIM

Also, Xander Mobus did a good ass job with his voice

Ryuji Sakamoto

see this post that basically sums up my feelings on this boy.

Also, Max Mittelman.

Ann Takamaki

CAN I JUST SAY ANN IS ONE OF THE BESTEST FRIENDS IVE EVER SEEN???????

Like she went through all that shit with Kamoshida, the harassment, possibly rape, all for freaking Shiho’s sake. Just… wow. That’s some freaking loyalty there. Shiho's the closest friend she has at Shujin (at least before the events of the game) and God knows how long she went along with Kamoshida’s bullshit all for Shiho. I mean I may sound a bit repetitive but holy shit that just amazes  me. SHE. ENDURED. SEXUAL. HARASSMENT. ALL. FOR. HER. BEST. FRIEND. And the minute she watched Shiho’s suicide attempt that was it. Any last bit of restraint she had left broke and she went full on at Kamoshida all for revenge for her best friend. My god.

Onto her confidant ranks, Ann is just a charismatic bundle of joy who just wants to make people happy. Yeah she butted heads with that girl (forgot her name…) and did fall down a little in terms of confidence but Akira and Shiho helped her through it and brought her back on her path of what she wants to do… Just ugh, I love Ann so much.

Yusuke Kitagawa

Yusuke’s a fan favorite and for good reason.

His backstory about how Madarame took him in after his mom died and overlooked his painting which led to the later plagiarism is an interesting one and I love how the Sayuri, the only thing left to connect him to his mother, is an important factor that leads to his realization of “oh shit this guy’s a dick who watched my mom die without helping her and he used me for money and fame.”

As a character though, Yusuke’s freaking weird. But i love him because of it. He has his formal tongue but that formal tongue casually overlooks any weird shit that comes out of his mouth. He doesn’t give any flying fucks about what people think of him and he speaks his mind like there’s no tomorrow. I still crack up at the nude painting scene with him and Ann because his mix of awkwardness and passion to paint a nice ass picture is just incredible. Also, another thing. He’s. So. Damn. Passionate. Like he ties art into everything, even fighting Shadows and he’s always looking for new ideas for paintings.

Also, Matt Mercer

Makoto Niijima

MAKOTO IS QUEEN.

She’s not my favorite female, that role goes to Futaba but she’s definitely number 2.

I genuinely have a love for the Niijima sisters because they complement each other so well. Sae’s the head of the house who also works tirelessly just to support her younger sister and it’s clear to see why Makoto would feel useless. She’s a high school student and as a student you really can’t do much that’ll pay the bills and keep food on the table unless you have a job which Makoto’s student council president and (i’m assuming) is in everything so it’d probably be hard as is to get a job and be of some sort of use to her sister. Then Kaneshiro comes around threatening her and Thieves and her sister and she just doesn’t want to feel useless anymore. She wants to do something after being forced to sit back and watch other people be counted on. And just, ugh, her awakening is by far my favorite out of all of them just because of everything behind it and just MAKOTO IS AMAZING, CASE CLOSED.

Also, Cherami Leigh.

Futaba Sakura

By far my favorite female as I feel our personalities are pretty damn similar. Besides her being a hacker and me not knowing anything about possibly illegal things like that, I relate to Futaba as she’s an introvert. She and I value our alone time and (although for different reasons) like being shut in. Now I’m not going to say Futaba and I share the same backstory because my God I’m honestly baffled how this girl went through years in solitude after her mother’s death thinking it was her fault. For one, she WATCHED HER MOTHER DIE IN FRONT OF HER. HOLY SHIT HOW DID THIS GIRL MANAGE TO FUNCTION WITH THAT MENTAL IMAGE IMPRINTED IN HER BRAIN???? AND THEN FOR YEARS ON END SHE LOCKED HERSELF UP AWAY FROM THE WORLD AND BEGAN HAVING ACTUAL PHYSICAL AND VERBAL HALLUCINATIONS AND IF IT WASNT FOR THE PHANTOM THIEVES SHE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE ENDED UP KILLING HERSELF AND I DONT WANT TO THINK OF A WORLD WITHOUT THIS ADORABLE LITTLE OTAKU.

also, i really ship her and Yusuke Inari

Haru Okumura

For one, Haru is freaking adorable, I mean look at her. She has the short little fluffy fluff hair and her voice is so light and feathery and polite and WHY DOES SHE COME SO LATE IN THE DAMN GAME????

I was lucky enough to manage to finish her confidant before the end of the game but when her confidant first opened up to me (getting rank 5 Proficiency was a bitch) at that point I was planning on not doing her confidant at all, I was just planning on getting Baton Pass and ditching her because I didn’t think I’d finish it. I did (at the cost of not finishing Makoto’s, still extremely disappointed on that) and I have to say Haru’s confidant was by far my favorite one out of the ones I maxed out.

Her whole thing is now that her father’s dead, she’s basically the one inheriting everything from Okumura Foods and she never really understood anything to begin with and she thinks everyone who’s trying to help her is just doing it for their own self-gain.  Okumura Foods, at this point, is attempting to rise back up after all the shit her father put the company through and all the current bad reputation it has. Haru’s never had a chance in her life to make things for herself. She’s always been told what to do and has been very obedient (even agreeing to marry a literal dickhead all for her father’s company) and suddenly she’s given all control and doesn’t know what to do with it. All these happy smiling faces offering their help just seem like people attempting to take advantage of her incompetence. Akira helps her through it like the amazing boy that he is and Haru ends up finally being able to speak her mind about the company and what SHE wants to do. She gives the company up to someone who she believes is trustworthy and decides that she’ll one day open a small little cafe like Leblanc in the future after college. And honestly, just her overcoming her distrust and her previous shell of being obedient to rising up and making her own decisions it makes me so happy and proud to see her grow and change and just UGGH I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS DAMN CAST.

Morgana

This cat, literally this cat. HE BELONGS WITH AKIRA AND THE REST OF THE THIEVES NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

Loud-mouthed, a little bit arrogant, Morgana is just an amazing character in general for me. I know Ryuji’s technically supposed to be the comic relief (and he does fulfill this role, don’t get me wrong) but I feel Morgana takes this spot too, especially the two bickering like an old married couple. I know some people hate on Morgana because of how he treats Ryuji and the amount of “go to bed” memes on Tumblr but all around Morgana is just a cat who was just looking for a place to call home. He was just looking for people to accept him.

And a part of me honestly hopes if there’s an add on for this game in the future, Morgana gets a human form because I’d love to see that.

Also, please tell me I’m not the only one who still mixes up Morgana’s gender. I still sometimes call him a her just out of habit because I can’t hear Cassandra Lee Morris as anything but a girl.

Also, Cassandra Lee Morris.

Goro Akechi

OKAY SO CONTROVERSY??? MAYBE??

I LIKE AKECHI

NO FUCK THAT

I LOVE AKECHI

LIKE HONEST TO GOD THIS BOY DESERVED BETTER.

Don’t misunderstand, I know he killed people. I know he caused all those shutdowns and was planning on killing the Thieves and eventually Shido himself (which now begs the question, say he did kill Shido, what next?)

I’m not denying anything he did. And yes, his backstory (although extremely saddening) does not justify his actions. He knew what he was doing and he still did it.

Akechi took the wrong path in his life. If anything you can sort of compare his story to Futaba’s in the sense that they both lost family members and were left with nothing. In Futaba’s case however, she still had people trying to help her. She had Sojiro who took her in after her uncle was abusing her or something and she had the Thieves who literally changed her heart and made her see the truth.

Akechi had absolutely nobody.

His mom died (suicide if I remember correctly), he was thrown into foster care, his own father (seriously, fuck Shido. Not just because of how he was with Akechi but everything in this damn game) didn’t even knew he existed. He had no acknowledgement, no affection, nothing. He was forced to make do with what little scraps he could find and make a life for himself.

Again, don’t misunderstand me. I know he killed people and his backstory does not justify his actions because he knew what he was doing was wrong. I’m just saying maybe if he had someone, anyone who was there to help him out, to pull him out of his misery he most likely would have been a different person. He wouldn’t have had his revenge for Shido be his only reason for living and he wouldn’t have gone out the way he did. It’s hard not to feel bad for him. He’s been alone all his damn life and all this guy really wanted was a friend, some teammates, people who wanted him around. I just wish Akechi had gotten a way to repent. I hate the fact that he died. One because we lost a good character and two because I genuinely believe that he wanted to change at the end. Akira changed him. The Thieves changed him. I wish he had gotten an ending where he could own up to his mistakes and be able to make up for lost time.

Just… ugh.

I’m apart of the “Akechi deserved better” group.

And I also ship Akeshu really really really hard.

Also, Robbie Daymond was freaking fantastic.

VERDICT

THIS IS LONG ENOUGH SO LET ME SUM IT UP IN A SENTENCE.

PERSONA 5 IS AMAZING, I LOVED IT.

[smilinstar]

Fic: this space between us (it’s nothing but stardust and the absence of you) - 5/6 (Legends of Tomorrow; Rip/Sara)

Fandom: Legends of Tomorrow

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Rip Hunter/Sara Lance (Time Canary)

Summary: Or Close Encounters. Five times Rip and Sara find themselves stuck together and somehow manage not to make out, and the one time they (finally) do . . .

Author’s Note: So I’m not sure many people are still reading this, but sheer stubbornness is forcing me to continue. To those that are, thank you and I hope you’re still enjoying it. Also, I make no apologies for these two being idiots in this. Because that’s what they are. Idiots. (And yet I love them still. Help.)

Can also be read here on AO3

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV |

] V [

1995, Metropolitan Museum of Art

New York City, U.S.A.

-----

 Rip’s not averse to fashion.

Fundamentally, he understands it’s importance. Isn’t ignorant enough to dismiss its role in human history and in helping shape societies, cultures the world over. He can even appreciate it as art, to an extent.

But some things? Some things, he thinks, just aren’t meant to be worn by a human being.

“You’re gawking,” Sara whispers beside him, as he watches a woman dressed in what he thinks is barbed wire walk past them, casually sipping on her sparkling champagne.

“I mean, how is that haute couture? It looks rather more like a torture device.”

Sara slips her arm through his and leans into his shoulder, “Says the man who knows nothing about fashion.”

“I know plenty about fashion.”

“So, what’s with the one, constant outfit?” she asks, voice level, eyes scanning the room for their suspect time pirate.

“That’s not about fashion, that’s about comfort and functionality.”

There’s the tiny jangle of her earrings as she shakes her head slightly, an unconvinced “mmhmm,” leaving her lips. She’s a mass of tension beside him, vibrating like strings of a bow being pulled taut. And it’s not their mission that’s to blame.

No, it’s him.

And how is he so certain?

Well it’s the sharp, impersonal edge her words have taken on for the past several weeks that has him convinced. They lack all her usual warmth. He’d noticed it some time after their near miss in Hong Kong, and it can’t be a coincidence. Nor is it a coincidence that it’s only ever in his direction. He’s been wracking his brain, trying to figure out what it is that he’s done, and the only thing he can think of is him ignoring her orders and staying behind to disarm that bomb.

But he knows it was the right thing to do. He’s sure she knows it too.

And besides, Sara Lance is a bit of an expert when it comes to disobeying orders, so she doesn’t really have a leg to stand on when it comes to being mad.

This is the closest she’s been to him since. Physically, speaking.

She’s made a point of avoiding him. If she thinks he hasn’t noticed, well she’s done a poor job of being subtle about it – silly excuses to leave the room, pairing him up with anyone but her on the team . . .

Except now, of course.

With a few interventions of fate and circumstance, they happen to be the only two members of the team that can carry out this particular mission, and convincingly impersonate the outlandishly rich, yet philanthropic, loving couple, whose invitations they’ve stolen.

The loving part of the equation is obviously missing.

As well as all the other qualifiers. Oh, and the couple part of it too, of course.

Standing static on the edge of the dancefloor, and looking for all the world like being in each other’s presence is torture is admittedly not the best way to avoid drawing attention to themselves.

Rip realises they must be doing a terrible job of blending in if Mr Rory sees fit to comment on it.

It takes some effort not to startle at the man’s gruff voice in his ear as he brushes past him. Dressed as the wait staff, he holds out a silver tray of champagne flutes.

“Hey lovebirds,” he says, voice low, “you might wanna think about taking a spin around the dancefloor. I’ve caught more than two pairs of shifty eyes on you. Even I’m doing a better job of blending in and that’s saying something.”

His whispered retort is cut off before he even opens his mouth, as Sara reaches across him to place her empty glass on Mick’s tray and then pulls on his arm with a painted smile.

“He’s right, darling. Shall we?”

Each word is a like a dagger. Sharp stabs digging in. He tries not to grimace.

In a role reversal of the last time they did this, it’s Sara offering her hand.

He takes it and they walk onto the dancefloor and settle into position as if they’ve done this countless times before. The last time they danced seems like an age ago. So much has changed since. They’ve lost people and welcomed new. Every single one of them have faced their own demons and come out of their respective burning cauldrons a little charred, but still mostly in one piece and their capacities to learn, forgive and forget, get better, be better, for the most part, not dulled away by ash.

If anything, he thinks Sara has come away shining brighter than ever, made stronger by her losses and if there’s one thing that’s not changed since the last time he held her like this – one hand holding hers, the other curved around her waist – it’s his admiration for her.

But that admiration has always been susceptible to change, and it doesn’t surprise him just how it has.

He loves her.

In a way that terrifies him, because that particular torture of an emotion has only ever been entangled in loss and pain; he finds himself floundering in it from time to time, trying to stay afloat, and not drown. It’s funny how it’s her that helps him up at those times, but can then just as easily push him under and leave him to the currents, pulling him in any which direction.

Just like now.

She’s not looking at him, her eyes fixed over his shoulder. He can tell she’s scouring their surroundings, looking for exits, cataloguing everyone in their vicinity, looking past the sparkling ballgowns and tuxedoes, both the ridiculous and not-so ridiculous fashion choices, and making note of anyone that fits the bill of their suspect.

She’s focussed on the mission, as she should be, as he should be, and yet he can’t help but think she’s using it as an excuse to push him away.

Which is funny given their proximity, but he’s never felt further from her.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, the breath leaving his lips unsettling the few curls of her hair that have escaped from her elegantly styled chignon.

She startles a little at the apology, but doesn’t turn to face him.

“For what?”

“For whatever it is that I’ve done to anger you.”

Her fingers clench at his shoulder, digging into the fabric of his jacket but her steps don’t falter as he leads them around the floor, weaving between the other couples.

“You didn’t do anything.”

And from her mouth, those words almost sound like an accusation.

Almost.

He doesn’t get to respond because he notices the subtle change in her expression, the narrowing of her eyes as she switches on to full alert.

“I think I’ve just spotted our mystery man,” she says.

“Where?”

“Your five o’clock.”

“Are you certain?”

“I’d say so. Shifty eyes, not so subtly talking into his wrist watch and backing out of here? Yeah, that’s him.”

“Okay then,” he breathes out. “How we planned it?”

She nods her head just a touch, and then he’s spinning her out in front of him before curling her back into his chest and stepping to the side. He spots Martin in the corner of the room and catches his gaze. There’s the slightest tilt of the other man’s head in recognition of their cue while they carry on dancing for a few moments longer. With each step, and twirl of Sara’s dress, they slip closer and closer to one of the side doors flanked by security, restricting the guests access to the rest of the museum and exhibits after hours.

But then, they never had been guests, had they?

No, those guests had been a Mr and Mrs Epworth, who had unfortunately run into a little trouble getting here on time. Car trouble. Courtesy of one Mr Jackson and Dr Heywood.

There’s an almighty crash of glass shattering just then, which is quickly followed by the indignant screaming of guests in their ruined designer gowns, topped with the unmistakeable torrent of abuse from Mr Rory and the profuse apologetic mumblings of a clumsy Professor Stein.

The ruckus is enough to draw the attention of security, leaving the coast clear for the two of them.

So far, so good.

They slip out of there and into the adjoining room. It’s rather darkly lit, with the only light coming from the glass display cases lining the walls and the centre of the room.

He doesn’t realise he’s still holding her hand until she’s tugging it free from his grasp.

He shoots her a glance, but she’s back to ignoring him, fingers pressed at her earpiece, “Amaya? Tell me you have eyes on him?”

Miss Jiwe’s voice crackles to life in his own ears as she answers, “He’s already on the second floor, heading straight for the artefact.”

Not so good.

“Damn it,” Sara mutters, before looking up at him. “How the hell did he get up there so fast?”

“I suspect our time pirate’s managed to get his hands on some twenty-third century transportation tech.”

“You mean like beam me up Scotty?”

The reference isn’t lost on him, but the fact that it’s leaving her lips has him momentarily startled. “Something like that,” he says under his breath.

“We need to move,” she says, her focus as steadfast as ever as she runs for the doors at the far end. Her heels are loud on the polished flooring, and the lack of stealth is unlike her and just a little disconcerting.

“Sara,” he calls out, voice a harsh whisper that isn’t really a whisper at all. She doesn’t turn around. Instead stops at the doorway, leaning up against it as her eyes scan the empty hall leading to the stairs and lifts.

“Sara!” he calls again as he catches up to her and takes up his position on the opposite side, “We’re not going to get to him in time!”

“And whose fault is that?”

“What are you talking about?”

“This was your stupid plan!” And now she’s finally turning around and facing him, eyes blazing and he’d take a step back if he could.

“My-” he flounders, “My stupid plan? I seem to recall it was a team effort, and I don’t remember you raising any objections Captain!”

The furious words being batted back and forth increase in volume with each successive word, not that he realises. And neither does she.

“Sara? Rip?” It’s Miss Jiwe’s voice in their ears again, but there’s too much steam coming out of both of theirs to hear or heed her warnings. “Guys, he’s getting away and you’re drawing attention to yourselves!”

“I did!” Sara seethes, as she steps closer to him, a fingernail jabbing into his chest, “I did, you just weren’t listening! You never listen!”

“I never-” he blusters, “I never listen? That is rich coming from you, Sara!”

“Mr Hunter? Captain Lance?” Now it’s Martin’s voice in their ear, and the slightly panicked undertones of the older man’s words somehow manage to filter through the haze as he stares down at Sara, standing too close, chest heaving and literally vibrating with anger. “I couldn’t stall security any longer, one of the guards is heading your way right this minute!”

“Thank you, Martin,” he breathes out slowly, his gaze fixed on Sara’s, who looks to be just as adamant not to be the first to break, the first to look away.

He thinks this has nothing to do with the mission, and everything to do with whatever has had her so angry with him all this time, with what she’s chosen to bury and ignore for so long, bubbling away underneath at high pressure and now it’s erupted like a vicious volcano spewing molten lava with no warning, as volcanoes are wont to do.

Seems apt she’s dressed in red then.

“Now’s not the time for this.”

“It’s never going to be the time,” she says, and it sounds bitter and broken and part of him thinks he has this all wrong. Because she’s not angry at him, but herself. The tone of her words reek of self-flagellation and he’s left feeling nothing but confusion.

“Sara . . .”

Her eyes flicker over to his left, and he spots the movement of the incoming security guard too. They have most definitely been made.

“Oh bloody hell,” he mutters under his breath, looks to her to gauge their next step but she’s already taking a step back from him into the bright lights of the open hall, and he can see the flush on her cheeks, and more alarmingly the redness of her eyes that are rapidly filling with water and spilling over her lashes and down her cheeks.

“Sara . . .” her name is a whisper on his tongue, but then the rest of his words, whatever they may have been are cut off with a wailing screech that does not sound anything like the Sara Lance he knows.

But Mrs Epworth?

Maybe.

“It’s always the same George! It’s never the right time!”

There’s a flicker of her eyebrow as she looks back at him, and he understands her just fine. And so he follows her lead and plays along.

“Sweetheart, please,” he says stepping out after her.

She shakes her head, more tendrils of her hair coming loose.

“Work’s always going to take priority over me! Over us!”

He stops advancing, the security guard practically on them as he calls out, “Excuse me, Sir? Ma’am?”

But Sara’s on a roll, and who knew she’d be such an actress?

She laughs bitterly, “No, it’s fine. It’s okay. Because I always do this. I always-”

“Ma’am, Sir, I’m sorry, but this is a restricted area-” The poor guard sounds distinctly uncomfortable, more and more unsure with every word that leaves his mouth.

Sara, or rather Mrs Epworth, takes in a huge shuddering breath, ignoring the man as she steps back in his direction. Stops just there in front of him, and he thinks he doesn’t really need to act, the stunned, shellshock of an expression is all him, as she reaches forward, cups his cheek with one hand before sliding it down the lapels of his jacket as if she’s flattening them down, and looks up at him, blue eyes sparkling bright with tears.

And in his head, he knows she’s putting on a show. That this is all a lie. A distraction. A ruse.

But something rings true in the words she says next. And they hammer against his heart painfully.

“It’s okay. Because I’ve always known. I knew it when I married you. I love you more than you love me. And that’s okay. I’m okay with that.”

And then under her breath, he doubts he even heard her-

“I have to be.”

He’s not even paying attention to the guard, who’s looking between the two of them, awkwardly now stepping away with a quickly mumbled, “I’m sorry. I’ll just, um, leave you for a few minutes, shall I?”

He just stands there staring back at her, holding his breath, his lips curling around her name, even though he knows, he knows, it’s not her speaking the words. Because she just can’t be saying what he thinks she is.

But then she blinks, takes a step back with a deep, steadying breath in and she takes the air from his own lungs with it. She wipes at her face, cheeks still flushed bright red as she looks over her shoulder to find the hall empty once again.

She doesn’t look back at him as she presses at her earpiece, and the switch right back to business is jarring to say the least, “Amaya? Where is he now?”

“He’s already left the building-”

“Damn it!”

“But, Ray’s managed to tag him across Central Park, looks like he’s heading downtown.”

“Didn’t waste any time getting a buyer lined up, did he?” she mutters.

“No, he didn’t. Mick and Professor Stein have already left the building, Ray’s sending us the location, if we hurry we can still make it.”

Sara nods, “Okay. Good. We’ll meet you out back. Fronts crawling with paps.”

“Copy that.”

She’s already striding down the hall, and he hasn’t moved an inch.

“Sara . . .” he calls out, though he doesn’t really know what he’s supposed to say.

She stops in her tracks, looks over her shoulder, not quite meeting his gaze as she repeats his own words back at him;

“Now’s not the time for this, Rip.”

“Right,” he nods, shaking his head, “Of course not. Let’s go.”

Because it isn’t the time. She’s right.

But something tells him, it’ll never be.

Part +

[mountain-soul]

Like so many of those questions..u should do them all if ur up to it

get toknow me 

i know i dont really talkto you guys but i want you to get to know me. so heres 100 questions you canask me, just send a number or make up your own questions.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

·       Just A Phase by Adam Craig

·       Round Here Buzz by Eric Church

·       Heartache on the Dance Floor by Jon Pardi

·       Déjà vu by Lauren Duski

·       Either Way by Chris Stapleton

·       It Just Wont Quit by Meat Loaf

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, whowould it be?

·       Emma Watson or Sophia Bush (I cant choose)

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page23, give me line 17.

4: What do you think about most?

·       Getting myself out of debt

5: What does your latest text message fromsomeone else say?

·       “Headphones!!”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

·       Giant T shirt

7: What’s your strangest talent?

·       I can pick up a lot of things with my feet

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finishthe sentence)

·       Girls kinda suck

·       Boys kinda suck

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

·       No

10: When is the last time you played the airguitar?

·       Lol I couldn’t even tell you

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

·       Airport security

·       Masked creatures like the Easter Bunny

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

·       no

13: What’s your religion?

·       protestant

14: If you are outside, what are you mostlikely doing?

·       Sitting on the patio drinking and hanging outwith friends

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera orin front of it?

·       behind

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favoriteband?

·       The Doors

17: What was the last lie you told?

·       “Im not mad at you”

18: Do you believe in karma?

·       I believe in justice

19: What does your URL mean?

·       That the mountains are where I belong

20: What is your greatest weakness; yourgreatest strength?

·       Weakness: I trust and forgive far too easilywhen I love someone

·       Strength: I love to prove people wrong

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

·       Julian Edeleman

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

·       Yes

23: How do you vent your anger?

·       I usually just lock myself in my room and stayaway from people for awhile. Or I’ll go see hot bartender and go line dancing at my favoritecountry bar

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

·       Pretty big vinyl record collection

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone orvideo chatting online?

·       Phone call

26: Are you happy with the person you’vebecome?

·       A lot happier recently

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

·       Hate: anything that sounds like nails on achalkboard

·       Love: thunderstorms

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

·       What if Im not good enough to be someonesfirst and only choice

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How aboutaliens?

·       Ghosts: yes

·       Aliens: unsure

30: Stick your right arm out; what do youtouch first? Do the same with your left arm.

·       Either side of my desk

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

·       Freshly printed paper

32: What’s the worst place you have ever beento?

·       Honestly, not a huge fan of NYC. Too muchgoing on there

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

·       East Coast for sure

34: Most attractive singer of your oppositegender?

·       Sam Hunt

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

·       To leave people better than you met them

36: Define Art.

·       Whatever makes you feel something, be itmovement, writing, picture, drawing

37: Do you believe in luck?

·       Not really

38: What’s the weather like right now?

·       Rainy, which is okay because im home from work

39: What time is it?

·       6:01 PM

40: Do you drive? If so, have you evercrashed?

·       Yes, and Ive been rear-ended

41: What was the last book you read?

·       TheGirl on the Train

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

·       Yes

43: Do you have any nicknames?

·       Nicki, Nic, Princess, Pumpkin

44: What was the last film you saw?

·       Shutter Island

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

·       Well I fractured my ankle when I was 10 and shouldvegotten a cast and didnt so still dealing with that 13 years later

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

·       yes

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

·       Cold brew coffee

·       The Bachelorette

·       Reading

·       Candles

·       Old time radio shows

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

·       Straight

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

·       Lol, lets count them all

50: Do you believe in magic?

·       Part of me does

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against peoplewho have done you wrong?

·       Lolololololol yeahhh

52: What is your astrological sign?

·       Taurus

53: Do you save money or spend it?

·       I try to save. But I do save to spend

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

·       A salad

55: Love or lust?

·       Depends on the person Im with

56: In a relationship?

·       Uhhh kind of

57: How many relationships have you had?

·       4

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

·       Nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

·       Work

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet ofyou?

·       My pig pillow pet

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

·       Always

62: What’s your favourite animal?

·       An otter

63: What is your secret weapon to get someoneto like you?

·       Playing hard to get

64: Where is your best friend?

·       Far away

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs onTumblr.

66: What is your heritage?

·       Portuegese, English, Swedish, French Canadian,and Mohawk Indian

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

·       Watching The Fosters even though I should havebeen asleep

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

·       Lololol I think he has too many

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

·       Damn straight

70: Are you the kind of friend you would wantto have as a friend?

·       I think so

71: You are walking down the street on yourway to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street.Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do youdo?

·       Save the dog dude!

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she hasjust informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tellanyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remainingdays? c) Would you be afraid?

·       I would tell my parents, and S.O.

·       I would try and do everything I’ve ever wanted to do

·       Id be terrified

73: You can only have one of these things;trust or love.

·       love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happywhen you hear it?

·       That’s What I Like by Bruno Mars

75: What are the last four digits in your cellphone number?

·       6504

76: In your opinion, what makes a greatrelationship?

·       Respect, communication, trust, admiration

77: How can I win your heart?

·       Corgis

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

·       Or more insanity

79: What is the single best decision you havemade in your life so far?

·       To not get another restaurant job

80: What size shoes do you wear?

·       8

81: What would you want to be written on yourtombstone?

·       “Love her, but leave her wild.”

82: What is your favourite word?

·       Love

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mindwhen you hear the word; heart.

·       ache

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

·       Bless

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

·       Objects in the Rearview Mirror by Meat Loaf

86: Basic question; what’s your favouritecolour/colours?

·       Gray, very light purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

·       A quote that says “Do what makes your soul happy”

88: If you could press a button and makeanyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

·       Lolololol too many

89: What would be a question you’d be afraidto tell the truth on?

·       Are you over him?

90: One night you wake up because you heard anoise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. Themummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed.What do you do?

·       Go back to sleep

91: You accidentally eat some radioactivevegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you withthe super-power of your choice! What is that power?

·       Invisibility

92: You can re-live any point of time in yourlife. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your pastwould you like to experience again?

·       The last half hour I spent with my Buppa

93: You can erase any horrible experience fromyour past. What will it be?

·       All the bullying I experienced

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with themusic-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

·       SAM HUNT

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere.You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

·       English countryside

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

·       Surprisingly no

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

·       Oh yeah

98: Ever been on a plane?

·       Yes

99: If the whole worldwere listening to you right now, what would you say?

·      To quote Cinderella “Have courage and be kind”

[frankthomas090-blog]

abby winter yoga - The New Angle On Abby Winters Lesbian Porn Just Released

In town for a bit on business, he wants to have some casual fun. 5 inches and THICK- his emphasis. Hes at the top end of length for my preference, but self describing it as thick got my attention. Sometimes theres just an instant connection or chemistry, drawing you in so fast with a new person you just kind of dance around the usual screening process.

Described his cock as 7. Average height, better than average build, green eyes. Hes my age, 31, but with the right combination of personality and body- I can look past it. Gimme that thick dick. This Ginger was respectful and straight to the point from the get-go on Plenty of Fish. Hes former Army- he had a pic up in his dress uniform. He sends me his number, we text briefly, and make the plan to meet that same day.

I appreciated his ability to be direct without being rude or vulgar. I like em young and hung! Also, I give it a 95% hes well endowed- orange is the new Black. At no point did he ask for nudes, or ask endless intimate questions- I give it a 50/50 chance of being a satisfactory encounter given our lack of communication beforehand, but I cant resist a Ginger to save my life.

He passed with flying colors. Im telling you, this isnt rocket science. I feel my lady business respond immediately. In our very brief texting we went over our Dos and Donts, as well as both agreeing we like aggressive AND passionate sex. Dont ever forget that.

The way hes kissing me I can already tell this will likely be a very good encounter. " Its early afternoon, what a great way to spend it. Upon his arrival I am freshly showered, bed is made, and Im wearing t-shirt that says "MEETS OR EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS. He sits next to me, we awkwardly exchange hellos, and then he moves right in to kissing me. Not overly eager, not sloppy, makes you want it right meow.

Hes not pushing my body down while shoving his tongue down my throat. He starts lifting up my shirt after pawing me and groping for the goodies- having discovered my nipples are pierced and briefly sucking them, its time for layers to come off.

He peels his layers off as Im taking mine off and comes right back to mauling me so expertly I couldnt resist. Hes kissing me like hes excited to see me, and hes real good at it. Hes maneuvering me onto my back while he takes a top position.

Moving his head lower he pulls my panties off but with such reckless abandon theyre still on my left leg. Good kissers are also known to be good lovers, from my observation. Youre taking your clothes off, too. I dont recognize the alphabet hes writing, maybe its Spanish.

The moment he kisses my thighs its all over. His eagerness to put his mouth on my slit is palpable. He didnt just dive face first into my nonsense salad- first he ran his tongue up my outer labia on both sides and it felt soft and gentle and GIVE ME MORE. Fuck God sounds totally different when Im cumming and yelling nonsense. Right around now is where I learned Im actually bilingual, but whatever language I was stuttering out can only be whispered or shouted; theres no in between.

Oh my god hes licking my asshole- I have sex Tourettes. Do you think Jesus and God can tell youre not swearing AT them? he pushes my legs up and licks up and down, then just down. I can barely take it, stretched to maximum capacity for comfort, and even then hes mildly uncomfortably large. And it consists mostly of very short, hostile sounding 4 letter words.

DONT STOP, DONT STOP, DONT STOP. Once he was done tracing and teasing I felt the warm, wet touch of his whole mouth open around my clitoris, moving his tongue in ways I cant imagine or describe. Holding my body close to his and pushing his hips up into me, my limbs instinctively wrap around him like a slutty octopus. His length is perfectly spot on- any longer and he just wouldve www.abby winters.com been too much.

GOD DAMN YOU HAVE A BIG DICK. Pushing my limits for size, I question if my lungs have enough room to inflate fully while hes all the way inside. Id put him right around 7 inches in length, my preference being 6.

With my pelvis lifted to the right level, hed shove his tongue in me as my insides start to contract with the orgasm. Literally cumming on his tongue. For sure hes wearing the biggest condom commercially manufactured, or a trash bag. My hips would buck but his arms would find their way around them and hold them in place, while my legs stretched upward trying to walk on the ceiling. We didnt transition out of missionary, he sat up and spread my legs wide while plunging into me with force and conviction.

He rolls on a condom and pushes himself inside me- my eyes rolled back so far I saw memories from my childhood. I sound maybe like a dying rabbit as my fingers pull his short hair and hold his head firmly in place. I didnt keep count, I was much too busy screaming his praises to the Gods.

He gets his and we collapse away from each other. As soon as I begin to cum, back go the legs, down goes the head, and hed ride my climax on his face. When I would start to climax, hed withdraw quickly and push my legs up around my head. He puts his underwear back on and Im guessing hes leaving now, sad times, but then he hops back onto the bed and I take the opportunity to snuggle up into his armpit and touch on his body while I bask in the afterglow.

He does this for every single orgasm. Im wrapped around him and mostly content. I cant get my mouth around it right, my hand doesnt wrap around it. Its awkward to handle, do I need a license? I feel like my certs are out of date because this newfangled cocktraption is just outside of my scope of experience.

Good Lord, who taught you to do that? I gift him my mouth because hes more than earned it. I could definitely go for more, but hes not some 20-something with endless stamina. He pounds away at me from different positions, I like him behind me because I like his stroke and how he braces himself by holding my hips down. Clearly he gets most of his satisfaction from pleasing his lady.

Im not going to argue, and somebody has been listening to my thoughts and dreams again because this man was made in a fucking lab just for me. The sun goes down around 4pm right now so thats not a good indicator either. what even is time, man. Im amused I come across that way- Im all about those afterglow cuddles.

Between our rounds we break for cuddles and snuggles- he confesses he assumed, from my profile on PoF, that he was to go after the first round and I wasnt much for affection or cuddling afterward. He enjoys the cuddles too, and doesnt like to just leave after a hookup unless thats her preference. Please me you thick dick Georgia peach!

Take care of your partner after you fuck them. He enjoys my head game but it just makes him want to fuck me. He gets off twice more and I have no idea how much time has passed. HOLD MEEEEEEEEEEE, pet my hair and tell me Im pretty. Fool I dont get to round 3 very often with men in their supposed prime, so whos more thrilled! Hes an intuitive partner and he reads my cues very well, plus he just wants to bring me all the pleasure.

Apparently he doesnt get to round 3 very often, and hes kind of thrilled about it. His size is intimidating and hes more shaped for vaginal feel goods. I like how he lays it down, and I like anal with the right partner. He admits hes never been able to have anal successfully, and I can understand why.

The way hes shaped, getting the head in is not the hard part- he gest wider towards the middle and base, like a fucking road cone. I dont doubt that hell follow my lead and respect my signals if things get too intense. The last time things started heating up Im on my belly and hes pressing the head of his monster cock on my asshole- Im doing word problems in my head about the likelihood of this being a good idea or not.

He apologizes for cumming too soon- I had to hold back my school girl giggle. He flipped me over and fucked me hard up until I told him to say my magic words. What a dear, sweet lover. He actually thought he owed me an apology after our FOURTH consecutive romp. Tell me you love fucking me. Ive got shit to do as well. 10/10 would fuck again.

I tell him point-blank Id like to see him again before he leaves, he happily agrees. We were unable to make it happen, he was just too big and we didnt do enough warmup, but I took about half of him before tapping out. He texts me asking what my plans are for the evening, as hed like abby winters galleries to grab a couple of beers and a late dinner.

Fast forward 24 hours. When posed with options like this, I always ask WHY NOT BOTH? I tell him Im going to shower and meet him at the restaurant bar near his hotel, he instructs me to bring my lube. I dont really do compromises. Or I could come over to his hotel room after and he could just fuck my brains out all night.

Maybe Id like to join him? In the time it took me to excitedly shower and keelhaul the warts off my body, my phone starts showing notifications of other interested men folk. The words fall out of his mouth and he explodes seconds later, to his own surprise. why end with a OR when theres always an AND?

He tells me I cant miss him at the restaurant bar- hes wearing a cowboy hat. (You thought that hyperlink went to the movie reference, didntcha? CANT TALK NOW, THICKEST DICK EVER WANTS TO TAKE ME TO POUND TOWN! Oh goody, I know what Im wearing later. Can honestly say hes a good one.

Test me, Ive got true grit. ) The company was great, hes fun to talk to. Cleaned up, its time for him to go he has things to do. As were leaving I ask how many Magnum XL condoms he has- he says 4. He confesses he doesnt generally have his lady spend the night because hes very affectionate and waking up next to someone hes spent the better part of the night pleasing, can lead to him having feelings.

We need to buy more, STAT. I feel like a teenager again. We talk about our kids, divorce, he tells me about his previous military experience, and what hes doing now. Rolling into Wal-Mart at that hour, with giant shit-eating grins on our faces, buying only condoms.

You think youre big, you aint big until you must have custom condoms. I get what youre saying, were gonna fool around and then I gotta GTFO. Sexy Ginger man with a good head on his shoulders and giant cock, somebody please snatch this man up quick haha or dont, and let him keep sharing that beautiful endowment with all the ladies.

Back to the hotel room, we barely make it to the bed and hes on me. Details from here are fuzzy, but he went down for ages and we fucked around in every position. Dont get it twisted; theres approximately 10 million condoms in my purse, but they wouldnt fit him. Remember, if youre hard to size on either end of the spectrum theres a UK company called TheyFit that you can enter your measurements into and theyll get you fitted with one of their 66 sizes.

We took a smoke break before trying www.abby winters yoga abby winters.com (linked site) again, and he tells me hes half Mexican. This perfect Ginger man is also a beaner. He was made just for me. While he was behind me licking and sucking my clit, shoving his tongue inside my pussy and my asshole, I hear the top of the lube bottle click. At some point I wore his Stetson when we come back inside, naked.

He positions himself at the backdoor and gently adds pressure until I whimper or tense up. Working together slowly, gently, following my vocal cues I take him to the base. Pushed to the hilt we pause. Its more than mildly uncomfortable, but if we take it slow itll feel great.

I can feel it cold and slippery, then hear him stroking it on himself. I swear to Kylie Minogue I cant make this stuff up. Im a little drunk- 3 drinks on a mostly empty stomach, Ill sit on your lap and call you Daddy if you want. He picks up the pace, we start talking dirty to each other. I have not been quiet at all during any of this, but now Im incapable of controlling the primal animal noises Im bleating into the bedding.

He was having some performance issues but was bound and determined to make sure I enjoyed our time as much as possible. I can feel him shaking a bit, hes going to cum soon. Its late, the booze and orgasms are sedating me.

Hes down close on me, wrapping his big hands around mine, entwining our fingers, crossing arms under my chin as he grinds into me. I tell him to withdraw slowly. I wake up hazily to roll over and his arms find their way around me again, hes a perfect big spoon. After several loud, amazing orgasms, he gets down close and pushes himself inside me all at once.

Rocking into me Im wrapped around him in my koala hug. Hes holding me and Im lost in it. I awake fully to him sliding down the bed, tossing my right leg over and burying his face in my morning pussy. Digging my fingers into his back and pulling his short hair, I dont want it to end. Im cold and reach for a sheet, he covers us immediately and Im back out like a light.

He slows down but hes plunging into me with the kind of force and quivering body that lets me know its now. Pushing my skirt up, pulling my panties to the side, he takes my box in his mouth and I hold on for dear life, staring up at the mirrored ceiling I get to watch myself almost cum in his mouth.

Morning sex was more passionate, and a bit briefer. Hes even kissing me with my dragon breath. We havent even hit the floor button yet. When we get to the ground floor we smoke together outside, recap our enjoyment with each other. My back hurts from how he so violently throws my legs back to eat my pussy while Im cumming, both my pussy and asshole are recovering from their respective stretching and beating, and Im walking on a broken toe.

We get dressed together, and he goes to walk me out but as soon as the elevator door closed he dropped to his knees. He tells me after two days with me, he wont be able to fuck for a week. God damn that was good. He reaches up, hits L, and continues his works. 10/10 would fuck any time. I am completely satisfied. This will happen one week from now, when he has free time again.

I scamper home to sit on frozen bags of peas, pound water, and cuddle all my pillows. tt/2i9A4Cy /u/DDfnord Link is directly to this story http://ift. This entry on my sex blog has hyperlinks, if youd like to see it in full I write on WordPress and the blog name is All The Dicks.