ugly-cat-sweater · 2 years ago
Note
Omg do u really pay for the check mark
That is the only way to get em
Tumblr media
3 notes · View notes
medicatedonwater · 1 month ago
Text
Dies ist nur ein music review
So sometime last year i met this rad girl who also listened to warped tour bands. As she described it it’s like she started in the 2010s or something and just never stopped. And for me, I started around 2009 like rly seriously playing the 04-06 albums on repeat playing halo and suddenly clicking with “The Phrase that Pays” by The Academy Is…
That song totally kicked off a series of me getting hella invested in punk rock / emo / etc but i never had like an actual scene phase and i’m living it now haha. I so wish i’d listened to the albums these songs had come from. I wonder how it could have influenced my life back then, but whatever, i’m still here now and finally getting to it!!
I at first wanted to listen to all the Warped Tour Compilations and i was sad to see FUCKING TWTTR killed warped tour. fkn garbage fire site. (well, warped tour SHOULD be coming back next year and i am so hella hyped i can’t wait to get the most exquisite sunburn as i claw and scrape my way to the oasis that is a hose of fresh? water.)
I quickly got through all the warped tour albums from 1996 through 2018? 2019? lotsa music i missed out on. stuff i really wish i *had* been around for but most of the 2010s is voided out for me, between floundering around in college and part time jobs and rediscovering alternative music around 2015. This project intends to listen to the full discography of *every* artist with a song on a warped tour compilation. I’m skipping the DVDs but also including the punk-o-rama albums which did a crossover with warped tour in 1997, and including the european and australian tours cuz why the hell not. Throwing in the local stations top songs list starting at 1997 cuz of how much they’ve influenced my modern taste in music. I’m mostly using spotify - for artists not on spotify i’m just listening to the album (or single/EP) that particular listing came from. youtube is clunky as hell with no background play and i need some form of organization and spotify i have hella mix CDs on…
Anyway, the first album is Punk-o-rama from 1994, with FUCKING, BAD RELIGION. OH MY GOSH IVE WANTED TO listen to these guyses discography for AGES.
I honestly, like, right out the gate they’ve very politically on fire, like, they’re saying the kinds of things people need to fucking hear. they’re so real for it, and as they grow older some of the stuff is kinda tamer, the sound softens a bit, but hot damn if “the kids are alt-right” doesn’t point out the ongoing problems that still need solvation.
and of course they’ve got the classic crazy taxi songs too :D (omg can’t wait to hear the offspring tooooooo)
I recall the warped tour i attended back in 05 that bad religion had performed there the previous day. I don’t believe they were there for that particular warped tour date tho. I would absolutely love to see them live or at the very least get some merch :3 they’re just so, raw. so real. “Punk Rock Song” is still stuck in my head, and i’ve already moved on to NoFX (which, holy fuck they start out crass but mb it’s the bias speaking… they get good FAST)
Bad religion was a great time through and through, ramping up to No Control with some real bangers. Against the Grain had the song “21st Century (Digital Boy)” which I’d all but forgotten about since my first exposure to it nearly four years ago. Stranger than Fiction and The Grey Race had some of my old favorites like “Infected” and “Ten in 2010” with “Gods Love” coming along in 2003. New Maps of Hell for whatever reason lives in my head as a rly good album.
A lot of that early energy was really important for setting the stage for an awesome presence.
Apparently liked 98 Songs… this may go down over time but hey, they’re good. heck.
The particular showing for Punk-O-Rama was “Do What You Want” from Suffer in 1998. Can’t say I entirely remember the track, oh wait hang on, guess i’ll break all the fucking rules and go to hell with superman!! yeah no this song is lit af. love this scene. i gotttttta see these guys at some point.
Next on the docket is NoFX… I’m to “Usa-Holes” off Wolves in wolves clothing.
See, I knew I was amongst cool folx when i went to a party and this dude had a bad religion shirt.
Looking forward to more from this project!
OH, I TOTALLY FOUND TOUR WATER THE OTHER DAY AND IT FKN AWAKENED SOMETHING IN ME.
1 note · View note
css1992 · 3 years ago
Text
Guilty Pleasure
Summary:  Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM. All the warnings listed on Part I apply. 
Read on AO3
Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V /  Part VI /  Part VII /  Part VIII / Part IX / Part X /  Part XI / Epilogue
-x-
Living with Ned and MJ was both a dream come true and a bit of a nightmare.
A dream, because when they were kids, they always talked about how they would all go the same college and live together one day, and Peter would finally have a real home – and a real family, he used to think to himself,  in secret.
A nightmare, because he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of his friends, and that was the worst kind of feeling to have for the people who opened their arms and their home for him when he needed the most. Still, he couldn’t avoid it and he felt awful for that. They were both attending NYU; Ned was majoring in Computer Science and MJ in Journalism. All according to the plans they made in high school.
When Peter was younger, he made plans, too. He wanted to study Biochemistry, his teachers used to say he could probably get a scholarship to a good college, he was smart enough. Mr. Harrington, his science teacher, even offered to write letters of recommendation for him. Instead, Peter’s life choices led him to his current predicament: a 20 year-old porn actor, selling dirty pictures for a living, crashing on his friends’ couch, not a single dollar in his wallet.
He was definitely not getting any awards for good decision making, that was for sure.
He had been staying with Ned and MJ for a week when he was finally able to set up his Just4Fans account. He knew that had to be a temporary thing, it couldn’t last, even if he wanted it to. He wouldn’t be young forever, let alone a “pretty twink”, as his subscribers loved to call him. He had maybe three or four years left of that hype, at most, then he would be too old for that, and/or people would start getting bored of him. So he had to be smart, the plan was to save up as much as he could while he thought about what he was going to do once the fountain of youth dried up, and the clock was ticking fast.
But for the time being, porn.
Good thing he had his own Instagram account with a few thousand followers. All the other social media accounts were under Beck’s name, and those had hundreds of thousands of followers, but Peter no longer had access to them – he checked. He also checked and noticed that Beck hadn’t announced that they had split up yet, his last post dated from five days earlier, when he released their last video together – two days after kicking him out of the house, the asshole.
So Peter posted a few Instagram stories explaining to his followers that he and Beck weren’t a thing anymore – he didn’t give many details, he didn’t want any drama, specially not with Beck – and that he had set up a Just4Fans account for the time being. In minutes, his Instagram blew up. Apparently, people were either heartbroken over their breakup; relieved he “got rid of that perv!”; or devastated they wouldn’t get to see them doing porn together anymore.
He got a hundred subscribers in just a few hours, which was incredible. The subscription fee was ten dollars a month, so even after the website’s cut plus tax deduction, it still was a good start. He wondered what kind of money Beck made with their videos, because they had thousands of subscribers on their channel.
Once he got the hang of the site, he tried to post at least two sets of pictures a day – which was challenging at that moment, because the apartment was tiny and he didn’t have any outfits or toys with him, they were all at Beck’s. He made plans that as soon as he got the subscription money in around fifteen days, he would try to buy a few things and take tons of pictures to last a few weeks.  
He also made sure to answer people’s messages every single day, which often earned him a little more money in tips. It was shocking how many people were willing to tip him just because he answered them. Some other people asked for extra content, like specific pictures, videos or even voice notes, which he sent via “pay-per-view messages”.
In the end, he felt like he was prostituting himself. Again.
He would never judge a person for earning their living in any way necessary, as long as it didn’t hurt anyone, he just never thought that would be him. Never ever. As a kid, he thought he’d be an astronaut. Growing up, he wanted to be a physicist. As a teen, he made plans to study Biochemistry. And somehow he ended up selling his body online, one way or another.
He didn’t dwell on that for long, he focused on the fact that it was temporary. If he managed to retain at least some of the people that had subscribed to his account for two or three years, then he would be able to start a small business of some kind in the future. Maybe he could go back to school. Twenty-three wasn’t too old for college, right?
Right.
It was two weeks later when he got a weird message. Not a weird message, actually, a weird tip. Someone under the username of YKWIM had sent him ten thousand dollars for no reason, there was no prior conversation, nor did the person ask for anything in return. Peter was sure there must have been a mistake, maybe they had typed in some extra zeros or maybe they had sent it to the wrong person, so he decided to reach out.
“Hey. I think there must’ve been some sort of mistake with your last tip. Lol.”
He left his phone on the counter and got started on dinner. He was a terrible cook, but to be fair, they all were, so it was fine. Ned and MJ were both at work, but they would be home soon and they were having a quiet night in. Those few weeks at their place had been good for Peter, it felt nice not to be alone after what happened, but at the same time, he was starting to feel like he really needed his own space. He was already looking for an apartment to move into as soon as he got the money. He was hoping to get one in the same building or at least close by, so that they could still see each other often.
His cell phone beeped as he sliced some onions and he stopped to check.
“Hey, gorgeous. There’s been no mistake, it’s correct.” Peter was taken aback by the answer, so he checked again to see how much the person had tipped him, and sure enough, there it was. Ten thousand dollars. Ten thousand. American dollars.
“Oh. Wow, that was very, very generous of you. Is there any particular content that you’d like to see from me as a thank you? I could send you exclusive pics and videos, whatever you want.” Inwardly, he was thinking that no amount of pictures or videos from him would ever be worth ten thousand dollars. Ten thousand dollars, holy fuck.
“That would be excellent.”
“Great. What would you like to see?”
Please don’t be weird, please don’t be weird, please don’t be weird… Usually, Peter’s subscribers liked to see him in cute outfits or with cute toys, but some people liked very messed up stuff. He usually said no, but that person had just sent him ten thousand dollars. Fuck, that was so much money, it would cover rent for at least a few months.
“I’ve enjoyed everything you’ve put out so far, baby, so surprise me. I’m sure I’m gonna like whatever you send.”
God, generous and reasonable? Had Peter died and gone to porn heaven?
“You flatter me.” He typed in quickly, leaving the sauce unattended for a few seconds. “Give me a few hours to work on it, I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Take your time, but I don’t think you could disappoint me if you tried.”
Peter felt so stupid when he blushed and giggled to himself, because that was exactly how Beck lured him in when he was seventeen, with charming, easy words. He was an adult now, for Christ’s sake, and he didn’t even know who he was talking to. To be fair, it was probably a woman. For some weird reason, according to his Just4Fans statistics, a surprisingly large percentage of his subscribers were middle-aged, cisgender, heterosexual women. Peter supposed those were the ones who used to follow his “love story” with Beck – most of them hadn’t got over them yet, apparently they were “the perfect couple! So cute!”.
He couldn’t blame them, they sold them the perfect love story. And for a time, it was true. Peter really thought Beck was it for him, the love of his life, his soulmate. He didn’t know at which point it all became an act to Beck – or if maybe it had always been an act.
He sighed, shaking his head, he couldn’t afford to waste time thinking about him, so he focused on what he should send YKWIM.
As he finished making dinner, he tried to come up with ideas. They said they loved everything Peter had posted so far – he had posted thirty pictures and five short clips over the past two weeks. The pictures were all in MJ’s bedroom – she offered –, most of them in her bed. There were only a few pictures in which he was completely naked, in the others he had some sort of underwear on –  lingerie or tight briefs.
So, he decided he should do something similar, but different enough that YKWIM would feel somewhat special. He had a few good ideas, but they would have to wait for the next morning, he would need good lighting and privacy.
“Hey, nerd, what’s up,” He almost burned his fingers when he heard MJ’s voice, and realized he had spaced out for a minute there. He shook his head quickly and smiled at her.
“Nothing, how was you day?”
The next morning, once Ned went to visit his family and MJ left for work, Peter started working on the pictures. For some reason, he didn’t want to tell his friends about YKWIM, just like he didn’t want to tell them about Beck when they first met, three years earlier. And if he really was as smart as his teachers used to say, he would have seen the pattern. But as it was, he just focused on the fact that YKWIM was probably a woman living on the other side of the world, who just liked to get off to pictures of pretty boys in lingerie.
But.
For the sake of getting in the mood for the pictures, he imagined YKWIM was a guy. Not too tall, but taller than him. He imagined he had a beard, but not a full one, like Beck’s, no, perfectly trimmed, scratchy, in a good way. He’d have dark, warm eyes, not blue and cold. He’d be older, older than Beck, more mature than him. A real man. Maybe he’d have a few streaks of gray amidst his otherwise dark hair.  
He’d be gentle, despite Peter’s past. He’d treat him like he was the first one to ever touch him, even if he knew that was far from the truth. He would be careful, mindful of his pleasure. He’d start off slowly, kissing along his collarbones, fingers brushing the sensitive skin on the inside of his thighs, just shy of where Peter wanted him to touch, as his mouth traveled down his chest; hot, moist breath leaving a trail of kisses down his stomach.
He sighed. Yeah, that would do to put him in the mood.
He put on a white t-shirt that was just long enough to graze the tops of his thighs, and a simple, plain black thong. He decided to take the pictures in the shower – the classic wet, white t-shirt, he couldn’t really go wrong with that. He positioned the camera on top of the bathroom sink, set the timer, and started posing.
First, he rested his back against the wall, one hand pulling the t-shirt down to cover the front his underwear, eyes staring directly at the camera lens as water ran down his face, neck and chest, making his nipples stiffen, becoming visible under the wet shirt.  
Next, he pressed his chest to the wall, looking at the camera from over his shoulder, lips parted, just a peek of his exposed ass cheeks showing where the t-shirt ended, but by then it was so wet it was mostly see-through.
Then he turned so his side was facing the camera and stuck his head directly under the stream of water, running his hands through his hair, back arched obscenely, eyes closed. He let his hands travel all the way down his neck, chest, and stomach, hearing the familiar “click” as the camera took several pictures.
He turned around again, placed his hands on the wall and lifted his t-shirt just over his lower back, sticking his ass out, showing off his provocative underwear.
He got out of the shower and turned the camera into filming mode, then got back under the water and also shot a short clip of he sensually and slowly taking the thong off, but in a way that the viewer couldn’t really see the skin that was revealed. He pulled the wet t-shirt down so it covered everything, but by then it was so see-through that it left nothing to the imagination. Peter twirled a little, then threw an innocent, shy smile at the camera.
That should do it.
He finished his shower, put the wet clothes in the washer, then went to edit the pictures. He didn’t do much, just adjusted the light and contrast, then cut them into squares, because he though it looked classier or whatever. He chuckled to himself at the absurdity of that thought, as he attached the photos and the video to a direct message to YKWIM.
“Hey, gorgeous! Hopefully these won’t disappoint. Let me know if you’d like something different.”
He cringed re-reading the message, he thought he sounded desperate and insecure about himself and he supposed that wasn’t very attractive, so he decided to change it just a little.
“Hey, gorgeous! Hopefully these won’t disappoint.” And he finished off with a hot face emoji, because why not.
He sent the message and went on with his day. Ned and MJ were both back for lunch and since none of them felt like cooking – and they all sucked at it anyway –, they ordered something to eat in front of the TV, as they binge-watched the first seasons of The Office.
“Oh, hey, Pete, I almost forgot, I talked to our landlord earlier and he said there’s an apartment on the fifth floor that should be vacated by the end of the month, if you’re interested,” Ned told him around a mouthful of pizza and Peter’s head snapped up.
“I’m definitely interested!”
“Cool, I’ll talk to him for you, I’m sure I can get you a good deal on rent.” He winked, and Peter smiled, feeling hopeful.
Things were getting better. Slowly, yes, but they were. He was spending time with his friends – who he had neglected for the past two years–; he had a good amount of money to withdraw in the next few days, that could get him going for a while; he was still doing porn, yes, but at least he was in control of the whole thing, including his own body, which was nice; and he only cried for Beck every other night instead of every single night, so he had that going for him.
All in all, things were looking up.
Ned and MJ convinced him to go out for a bit in the afternoon, they said he had been cooped up in the apartment for three weeks and should breathe in some fresh air, and since it was the first somewhat warm day of March, they decided to go jog at Central Park in the afternoon. They didn’t really jog, but they walked around some and Peter must admit that it felt good to stretch his legs and feel the sun on his skin for a change.
They were lying on the grass, resting for a bit, when they saw a blur of red and gold fly overhead. People started cheering and clapping and Peter smiled when MJ groaned, because he knew exactly what she was going to say.
“How can people cheer for that guy, he’s an egocentric, misogynistic, elitist, disgusting asshole.”  He laughed to himself, because he knew what came next.
“He’s a genius, he changed the world multiple times and he even saved it at least twice. I think he’s pretty cool,” Ned argued without any heat and Peter could hear MJ rolling her eyes.
Peter didn’t love or hate Tony Stark or Iron Man, like most people, he just – didn’t pay him any mind. Sure, when he was a kid, he was obsessed with him, he was New York’s first superhero after  Captain America, who was still in the ice when Stark announced he was Iron Man. But as he grew older, he had other concerns in mind other than who was the coolest Avenger, so he kind of forgot they existed, except for when there was some crazy alien threat looming over New York City – which was, like, a biannual thing since they found out aliens existed back in 2012.
The fact that Iron Man was flying over Central Park on a Saturday afternoon was a little alarming though. From what Peter knew, Stark was mostly retired since around 2016, he only ever “avenged” when there was a big threat, like the near-end-of-the-world they had back in 2018.
“Do you think we’re under attack?” Peter asked and Ned shook his head calmly.
“Nah, I think he must be late for something. I read an interview recently and he said he uses the suit sometimes when he needs to get some place fast.”
Seemed like overkill, but who was Peter to judge, he would probably do the same if had a suit like that.
They spent the rest of the afternoon in the park and then headed home for the night. MJ turned in early, she said she was beat from a busy week, and Peter and Ned stayed up until a little later, re-watching Star Wars movies. It was close to 2AM when Ned said his goodnight and Peter went to check his Just4Fans, because he hadn’t answered any messages all day long.
There were quite a few, but he did notice there was one missing. YKWIM hadn’t answered him yet and Peter immediately felt like a failure. They probably hated the pictures, they must have thought “ugh, ten thousand dollars for that?”. Peter should have photoshopped them. He could have made himself look at least a little bit better, if only–
Before he could hate on himself too much, YKWIM messaged him, like they could read minds. Peter quickly opened their chat, still a little worried about their reaction to the pictures.
“Damn, baby! You have no fucking idea what those did to me. Fuck! Can I show you? Please?”
Peter was oddly relieved to read that, and was endeared by the fact that they actually asked before sending a dick pic. Or a clit pic? Was that a thing?
“Of course, gorgeous, I’d love to see it.”
Within seconds, they sent a video in the chat. Peter was a little surprised by that, but pressed play anyway, and almost fell off the couch when he did.
It was a thirteen seconds video. He could see the man’s midriff, all the way down to the tops of his thighs. His belly was toned and spattered with dark hair that led down to perfectly trimmed pubes that framed the most beautiful cock Peter had ever seen. There was no other way to put it.
It was long and thick, but not so much so that it would hurt – Peter knew better –, it stood proudly between his thighs, attached to a heavy set of balls that made his mouth water. He was jacking it mercilessly, Peter could only hear him grunting quietly before his balls recoiled and he came, covering his stomach in thick, pearly white come. Peter whimpered, pressing down on his hard-on, and almost cried when the video was over.
“Fuck, daddy, that was so fucking hot.” It was probably the first time ever that he actually meant that answering a DM from a subscriber.
“That was the third time today, baby, I have been thinking about those pics from the minute you sent them. Spent the whole day with blue balls, even after coming twice.”
Fuck.
“Wish I could have helped you with that.”
“Who knows, honey, maybe someday.”
Yeah, Peter thought, biting his pillow on the couch so he wouldn’t be heard when he came embarrassingly hard in his pajamas pants, face burning with shame. Maybe someday.
68 notes · View notes
disaster-fruit · 4 years ago
Note
could you tell us more about the brarg family au with the 3 babies and trans luci?
I definitely can! This au has been living rent free in my head since i started that drawing and I was actually sketching more stuff for the AU right before I got this ask so- I definitely can ramble more about it
This was supposed to be just a collection of a few hcs and now it’s a multi-pages word document the size of a fanfic so – Im really sorry.
I didn’t think a lot about their backstories tbh, though I have it in my mind that Luciano transition in his late teens and that he and martin either met after that or knew each other before luciano came out, lost all contact, and then met again after (and you can blame oxiosas fic for that yeah im not even subtle)
But I imagine them having some sort of meet cute and kinda progressing really fast in their relationship without realizing – yk, its just a fling, no big deal, yeah ive met his parents, yes I basically spend every weekend in his apartment, yeah I have a spare key now, ops I guess we’re adopting dogs and plants together- oh I think we’re married. Yeah. We’re married.
Ok but for real Luci does the proper proposal-with-a-ring-and-knelt-down-on-a-special-day thing and Martin is just bright red saying yes over and over again
It is Afonso (port) the first to be all WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN like… the night of their wedding.
They live in a house in a not too big city with two dogs, one cat, one parrot and all the birds that Luciano feeds and names that aren’t actually theirs. Still, they choose the house with two spare rooms because they always talked about having two kids.
In this AU they can buy a nice house and don’t have to worry about money and can raise kids like the world isn’t ending.
I think right after they got married they got in line for adoption. However, everything indicated that it would take a long long time so they started talking about the possibility of trying to have a biological kid. I think luci was the one to suggest it when he noticed martin had been thinking about it but not saying anything for a while.
Lots of boring doctor visits and confused doctors looking at luciano and trying to process it like the dumb cishets they are. Boring exams and all that, but everything is on track eventually, luci pauses his hrt and keeps his jockstrap on the drawer and they’re googling the best positions for fertility on those weird cishet sites and doing it like bunnies etc etc
Getting pregnant the natural way after years of testosterone is not the easiest thing in the world, so it takes a while. But eventually it works.
Both of them are kinda freaking out with this whole first pregnancy thing. Martin is the ultimate protective husband, and spends way too much time on the internet finding out what luciano can and can’t eat, what exercises he should do, and going to every single doctor visit. He’s very committed to it.
Luciano has to drink non-alcoholic beer and hates life. There’s a single teardrop shed every time he buys it. And drinks a lot of lemonade like it’s the same as caipirinha. Poor guy. Martin doesn’t help on that, life isn’t fair, he buys his own beer.
But he also has to drive absurd lengths to find the weirdest fruit or make the most hideous, blasphemous pizza toppings because Luciano is constantly craving absurd shit. But poor baby actually really NEEDS that chicken M&M pizza at 8am.
They’re super proud daddies though, and both their instagrams at this point are just baby belly pictures. Luci had top surgery on this au on my hc so also. Lots of shirtless pics. He looks like an old uncle with a beer belly and he’s PROUD. Just. Baby bellies all over.
Martin picks the entire baby layette. Because of course he does.
Their baby shower is a huge deal though. Their dads are there, Antonio brings an entire trunk filled with diapers and tells everyone how many tincho used to need when he was a baby, Afonso is cooking for everyone and talking about how he’s gonna be a grandfather (!!!). Iracema (pindorama) is scolding Luci about his bad habits while also quietly being a super proud grandma. Zola (angola) bought toys because she knows that’s what kids actually like, Samero (Mozão) keeps asking if they installed all the necessary security stuff in their house – we will, chill, we still have some months to go – Vera (Tomé) is teasing Simão (Timor) about him no longer being the family baby, Fatima (g.bissau) is another one who bought a huge amount of diapers, Rosinha (cabo verde) is taking pictures of everyone and everything, Sebas and Dani are discussing if the kid should speak Portuguese or Spanish, Maria brought a huge pink plushy as a gift, it’s quite a party.
Once they’re late in the pregnancy, Luciano mostly spends his time on Martin’s oversized t-shirts asking for foot rubs and not getting much sleep because the baby keeps moving. Martin on the other hand is a little nervous about being a dad, but absolutely loves feeling the little kicks and talking to the baby all the time, except when its 3am and he wants to sleep but Luci cant because of it so he just does his best to keep him company. He mostly ends up falling asleep on his chest though and doesn’t help much
I wrote all of this but I still don’t have a name for the girl lol Anyway, she’s finally born, and if martin was overprotective when Luciano was pregnant, he’s ten times more with his baby girl. Tbh theyre both kinda going crazy with this whole parenting thing, both are overprotective, tired, and have no idea what theyre doing.
Zola and Sebastian are the girl’s godparents. Sebastian isn’t very good with kids so when he takes care of his niece he either puts on a tv show and lets her eat whatever crap she wants, or relies on Daniel to do the actual taking care, since he is good with kids.
Luciano and Martin are very much neurotic first-timers and have all this schedule of what their girl can eat and when and when she has to sleep etc etc.
When Zola takes care of her, she just ignores it and does it her way. She helped raised Luci since he was a baby anyway, he survived just fine and even married and reproduced, she knows what to do better than both the dumbasses, and they never even find out.
Afonso on the other had follows everything when he’s with his granddaughter, determined to be a better grandfather than he was a father, and the baby loves him so he’s doing a good job.
They’re a very cute family yes yes
She grows up well and happy, a bit shy maybe but very smart and sweet, loves the dogs and her aunts and uncles and granddads (afonso more than antonio though)
By the way, Iracema is soft like butter with her granddaughter.
When she’s about four or five years old they start talking about having a second one, considering the age difference and all. So back to doctors, Luci stops the hrt again and they go back to trying, but again it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do it naturally after years of hrt.
But god listens to the prayers of such good catholic family, and right after they start thinking about a second child, they receive the news they will finally get to adopt a baby.
Luciano is the one to receive the news, he’s working at home when the social worker comes to tell him they can finally adopt. He’s extremely happy, he hugs the poor lady and is barely able to concentrate as she explains the paperwork that is left and the details of it because he can’t stop smiling.
He immediately texts martin saying something like “CALL ME RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO TALK” and it’s in happy caps but martin understands it wrong and thinks someone is dying or dead but then his phone is what dies so he gets home as fast as he can thinking all the worst scenarios just to find luciano jumping on him with a smile for ear to ear. It’s such a shock he takes a while to react but when he does you have two idiots so happy they can’t function.
It’s another girl, she has big brown eyes like her sister and it’s a few months old.
They quickly reassemble the crib and paint the second room to get everything ready in time to take her home, and the next week or so it’s nothing but all the family visiting to meet their new baby.
Since they managed to adopt, they decided to stop trying to have another kid. Luciano goes back to the doctor do some routine exams so that he can go back to testosterone and the doctor just awkwardly explains that, well, that won’t be exactly possible. Not for the next eight months, at least.
He’s quite shocked at that, and takes him a while to tell martin. They just got a new baby and do they even have space to raise three kids? Eventually it just escapes from him and martin is shocked as well, but ultimately both of them are just worried about their place being too small, and once they relax about that they can’t shut up about having another baby on the way to anyone.
Still, it’s not easy to manage, martin is just as worried as he was with their eldest, except that this time he’s simultaneously worried about their new baby and about Luci’s pregnancy. Poor dude needs a break asap. So he’s trying to do most of the work of caring for a little baby to spare luciano from the stress, while also taking care of him as well as he did the other time.
Luci is more chill about being pregnant, he’s done this before, he’s fine. He’s even a little too chill about it, as shown in the art, he still wants to carry their kid on his shoulder and having a few sips of martin’s beer is no big deal and honestly he’s fine, he can help with the baby, and Tincho just needs to relax and it will all be fine.
Again, poor tincho needs a break.
Some things don’t change though. Them being super proud daddies who do nothing but take pictures of their kids and Luci’s belly every chance they get. And they’re really happy and excited to have their house full and this big family.
Just a good cute family AU where nothing bad ever happens thank you very much.  Yet it took me almost 2k words to say it. I have no self control and I’m very sorry. However, if anyone has their own hcs to add about this whole au, I will be more than happy to hear and talk about this AU even more than I’ve already done.
20 notes · View notes
howlout · 4 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
———  BASICS! ♡
(PEN)NAME: Leche ( leh-chay )
 PRONOUNS: they/them !
 ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus Sun, Scorpio Moon, Aquarius Rising
 TAKEN OR SINGLE: Single!
———  THREE  FACTS! ♡
I have a pet Axolotl named Champurrado or Chumpy for short. He’s a rare melanoid copper axie that I really didn’t have any idea of his worth when I first got him. Out of the like, ten pet stores I called he was the last one. He’s happy n’ healthy and likes his little hide out in his aquarium. If you peek into it he literally turns his head to stare back at you. Love him!
Went to school for game art and design, and I specialize in character design. The game industry is fuckinnnnnn’’’ tough though so not really doing any gaming gigs right now. Took three whole semesters for coding and animation and I still can’t code or animate gfgf
Im running out of interesting facts uh--Coffee fanatic. After like seven years working at various cafes Im a barista at heart and still really passionate about it. I know coffee bean taste profiles and caffeine content from worlds over, know best ways to pour coffee + espresso, good pastries to pair with your cup and latte art is really fun to do. If anyone is looking for a coffee recommendation hit me up. I miss being a barista but my current job has me chained by the ankle hhhHhh
———  EXPERIENCE! ♡
Been rping as a hobby off and on since like....Neopet days. I was .. 11? 12? Every time I manage to get out of it Im just pulled right back in cause I somehow stumble into an rp community wherever site I go. Tumblr so far is the easiest and more enjoyable experience despite the rep it gets < 3 Ive made a lot of good friends here!   
———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡
I have a wide assortment of muse taste across the spectrum really. I prefer to choose side characters or NPCs that few have touched because they have so little lore you can build right on top of! I’m also really shy and still really insecure about my own personification sometimes so the less traffic a muse has the better I attach to them. Scott here is some of my first attempts to break my own mold and explore a popular main character. Love him to death already! 
———  FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡    
FLUFF: MMM y  e s. I need some fluff, yes yes, good feels --
ANGST: Everyone loves their angst sure. I’ll dip into it for character development moments but I’m not the biggest fan of angst over and over and over. At some point it really triggers my anxiety so gdfgfd, it’s necessary we plot out an ending before we jump into long term angst and sad plots so I know where it’s gonna end up. 
SMUT: I actually enjoy writing smut. It’s also character dependent. Some muses are more open to it then others but I’m comfortable whether its casual, a one time instance, or whichever. Scott is both parts very casual about it and in the same vein will call in to check on how the other is doing the next day sweetness. So don’t be afraid to send a nsfw meme prompt so long as we’re mutuals! They don’t need to be developed either.  
PLOT / MEMES: Both definetly, but leaning a little towards memes. Plots usually happen after the characters connect a little through memes. The ideas just kinda roll from there and I get at ease knowing the other mun wants to write with me! I have some serious social anxiety so I’m rarely on my discord and really bad at reaching out. So defo if you see a meme send it right in and then we can start plotting! It’s the easiest way to interact with both mun and muse in this case. 
tagged: stole it frrrooooom @pyrcmaniiac​
7 notes · View notes
vraiesmeufs · 6 years ago
Text
productivité et culpabilité
Récemment, je suis revenue faire un tour sur ce site : le dernier post date d’il y a 2 semaines et le dernier portrait date d’il y a 2 mois.
Tumblr media
Tout d’un coup, en faisant ce constat, je suis prise de panique. Qu’est ce que j’ai foutu pendant ces 2 mois pour ne pas sortir un portrait tout en continuant à bosser de manière quotidienne sur ce projet. Plus que de la panique, j’ai été sujette à une culpabilité terrible. Je me sentais coupable de ne pas avoir tenu mes engagements, de ne pas avoir tenu le rythme que je promettais, sans pourtant que personne ne soit venu me voir pour me réclamer du contenu.
En fait, la personne envers qui je ressens le plus de culpabilité est moi même.
En méditant sur ma vie, je me rends compte que je passe toute la journée à tout remettre en question et à me rappeler que je ne suis pas assez bien. Le matin, je me dis que j’aurais du me lever plus tôt et sortir plus vite de chez moi. A l’école, je regrette de ne pas fournir plus d’efforts dans mes études. A la bibliothèque, je regrette de ne pas réussir cet exercice. En allant chercher les développements de mes photos, je regrette de ne pas avoir fait de meilleures photos. En relisant un article, je regrette qu’il ne soit pas mieux écrit. Et en allant me coucher le soir, je regrette de ne pas avoir fini tout ce qui était noté sur ma to do list.
Je me rends compte que la vie que je vis n’est qu’un long chemin de regret et de culpabilité.
Je profite donc d’un voyage loin de la capitale pour me remettre en question sur ma culpabilité constante : je n’ai jamais autant évolué que lors de ces deux dernières années mais par la même occasion, je n’ai jamais autant été aussi peu fière de moi au quotidien.  Par exemple, j’ai passé aujourd’hui une excellente journée où je me suis promenée et où j’ai profité de ma famille mais en rentrant chez moi, je me sentais très mal parce que ma journée n’était pas productive. 
Entreprendre, ça a l’air cool et facile, encore plus dans l’époque étrange dans laquelle on vit où c’est hype de bosser comme un taré. Sauf que entreprendre veut aussi dire ne pas avoir de patron : si demain, je décide de complètement arrêter de bosser sur ce projet, personne ne me demandera de compte ou me virera. C’est pourquoi la pression que je me mets est d’autant plus importante que mis à part moi, personne ne peut me la donner.
On vit dans une société où chaque minute de la vie doit être productive et où il faut constamment lutter contre ces fléaux que sont la procrastination et l’oisiveté. Cette société du hustle où on admire les gens qui travaillent 24/7 et qui ont de l’ambition ne rends pas les choses facile. Beaucoup de gens m’ont déjà complimenté sur le fait que j’étais une bosseuse. Est-ce vraiment un compliment ? Tout le monde court partout, boit des cafés comme si sa vie en dépendait et a un emploi du temps de ministre. “Productive” pour moi signifie avancer sur les cours ou sur mes projets (en particulier VraiesMeufs), mais est-ce la bonne définition ? Une journée oisive où je recharge les batteries et où je profite des personnes que l’on aime fait aussi partie du processus de productivité. Ce n’est pas derrière un ordi qu’on trouve l’inspiration et la motivation de faire ce que l’on veut.
Je m’engage donc à ce jour de ne plus culpabiliser pour ce que je fais. Je fais déjà mon maximum et c’est cool. Parfois, je fais 10 choses dans la même journée, parfois je n’en fais pas une seule. Mais je ne m’en voudrais plus : même les low moments permettent, en libérant du temps à ne rien faire, d’apporter de nouvelles idées, de meilleurs réflexions et donc de nourrir mon processus de création et de travail. D’autant plus que, je ne pense pas que vous me suivez en vous attendant à du contenu toutes les semaines avec une tolérance zéro. Je viendrais des fois à l’avance, des fois à l’heure et des fois en retard, sans aucune justification et à chaque fois plus solide qu’avant.
ENGLISH VERSION (translated by Sophie)
PRODUCTIVITY AND GUILT
Recently, I came back on this website: the last post was two weeks ago, and the last portrait was two months old. All of a sudden, realizing this, I was overcome by panic. What the hell was I doing for two months, not being able to come out with a single new portrait, while still working daily on this project? More than panic, I felt terribly guilty. I felt guilty of not being able to stick to my commitments, of not being able to keep up the pace I promised in the first place, even though no one ever came to me to demand content.
In fact, the person I blame the most is myself.
While contemplating my life, I realize I spend my days questioning anything and everything, and reminding myself I am not good enough. In the morning, I tell myself I should have woken up earlier so I could come out of the house quicker. At school, I regret not trying harder in the way I study. At the library, I regret not succeeding in an exercise. When going to get my photos printed, I regret not taking better photos. When re-reading one of my articles, I regret the fact that it wasn’t written better. When going to sleep at night, I regret not finishing everything that was on my to-do list.
I realize that the life I lead is merely a long road filled with regret and guilt.
So I take advantage of the time I spend traveling away from Paris to re-evaluate myself and the guilt I constantly feel: I’ve never evolved as much as I did in the last two years, but in the same time, I’ve never been less proud of myself on a daily basis. For example, today was an excellent day for me, I went out and had a good time with my family, but when I came home I felt extremely bad because it hasn’t been a productive day.
To begin projects sounds cool and easy, even more in this strange era in which it is “hype” to work like crazy. But to begin a project by yourself also means not having a boss: if tomorrow I decide to quit this project, no one will hold me accountable nor fire me. That’s why the pressure I put on myself is even more important, because apart from me, no one will do it. We live in a society where every minute of your life has to be productive and where you must constantly fight against the scourge that are procrastination and idleness. This hustle society in which people who have ambition and work 24/7 are looked up to, does not make things any easier. Many people have complimented me before, for being a “hard worker”. Is that really a compliment? Everybody’s running around all the time, having drinks as if their life depends on it, with full schedules. To me, being “productive” means being on track with my studies or my projects (specifically VraiesMeufs), but is that the real definition? An uneventful day during which I rest and spend time with the people I love is also part of the process of productiveness. Sitting behind a laptop is not where you find inspiration and motivation to do what you want.
From now on, I commit to not blaming myself for my actions. I try my best and that’s cool. Sometimes I’ll do ten different things in a single day, and sometimes I won’t do one. But I won’t blame myself: even the low moments, freeing time to not do anything in particular, allow for new ideas. They allow for better reflections, and they feed my creative and work process. What is more, I don’t believe you follow me on this website expecting content every week with zero tolerance. Sometimes I’ll be early, sometimes I’ll be on time, and some other times I’ll be late, without justification and each time stronger than the last.
1 note · View note
lulachamberlainfanclub · 6 years ago
Note
I enjoyed the whole game, but the moment that made my heart sink was that conversation with the switchboard operator in act IV. It felt like she was talking directly to me, not Shannon. It made me think, and what if all this effort I'm putting in my life is pointless and I'm just part of The Machine?
Oh jeez, yeah. That scene is so resonant to me that I transcribed it for the blog.
It used to be up until two years ago that I worked as a projectionist for a fairly upscale Los Angeles movie theatre chain. After about a year of hard labor scooping, selling, and eventually sweeping up popcorn, I got moved to the projection booth. This was the summer of 2010, and our theatre still showed 95% of its movies through 35mm film projection. I was so proud to be a projectionist. It was a tactile job with a century of incredible history. A final human touch between the director’s vision and the audience’s eyes. I’ll admit to getting fairly emotional when Terrence Malick shipped a letter with every single print of “Tree of Life” calling my profession “the last remaining artisans of movie exhibition.”
About two years after I started as a projectionist, my theatre announced that they would soon switch from 35mm film to 2k digital projection. This was quickly becoming the industry standard, and for good reason. The digital “prints”, really just a terrabyte hard drive with an encrypted movie file on them, were cheaper and easier to produce, ship, track, and control than film prints. The actual on-screen image wasn’t as good, but a digital print would never scratch or tear. A few of my coworkers jumped ship when we made the change. We went from a team of about a dozen to ten.
The first few months of digital projection were disastrous. None of us had been properly trained, which was made things even harder when the new digital projectors and servers were constantly faulting and failing. Sound and light cues didn’t hit correctly until we trained ourselves to work around the system’s failings. The company never listened when we said things weren’t working - they knew that the early days of digital projection would be difficult, and they weren’t the ones who had to take the blame for that difficulty so what did they care?
The writing had been on the wall for a while by the time the company announced that they’d be moving from manual digital projection to full digital automation. Nobody in the projection booth at all, just a single central server updated weekly on-site, that would run sixteen separate screens. We’d be losing our position as projectionists, so we’d be booted back down to ripping tickets and selling concessions.
If you’ve ever tried to sync more than one laptop to a single printer, you know that computers aren’t exactly 100 percent when it comes to networking. It took the company four more years from the announcement of automated digital to the day they first implemented it. It took another year after that for them to try their first full day of automated projection. Again, nothing worked. The projectionists who used to cue lights and sound and push buttons and lower faders were now tasked to stand next to the servers as each movie started - just to make sure things went smoothly. They never did, of course. We had to manually cue lights and sounds, just like always. But our bosses could use that as an excuse to devalue our labor. “All you do up there is push buttons.” “Anyone could do what you do.” “We never see you actually working.” Our team dwindled from about ten people at any given time to between six and seven. I guess one thing I can’t complain about was a lack of shifts.
Poppy: You know… there’s something that bothers me about the process, besides the fact that I’m training my replacement, who isn’t even human… Here’s what I mean: how long do you think it should take to time my every move and recreate that timing in an automated switchboard? Rough estimate.
Shannon: A couple days?
Poppy: That’s what I said, but this has been going on for over a year! And a very dark thought has started to nag at me… What if there is no cheap machine that’s going to replace me? What if it’s cheaper just to keep me here, filling in for the rhythm of the operators… What if I’m the cheap machine?
This exchange brought about a profound sadness in me. I felt like I was at my own funeral. What the hell was I doing standing around for $12.75 an hour babysitting the robot that would replace me? Three months later, I quit with no notice. I walked into my boss’ office and told him I had a new job. After eight years I left, without even saying goodbye to anyone. Coincidentally, fifteen minutes later another projectionist quit on the spot, and that same night still another put in her notice. I’d like to say I started a labor revolt, but everyone had just been planning to quit and nobody told anyone else.
Shannon: Why don’t you just quit?
Poppy: In this economy? No, you’re probably right. Working in silence for peanut shells, waiting to be replaced by a robot… It doesn’t sound very dignified, does it? The reality is that I’ve been working here my whole adult life. I came here as a girl, and I’ll leave as a middle-aged woman… I don’t know if I’m ready to be her yet.
8 notes · View notes
littlemix-styleblog · 2 years ago
Note
Question how do you find every piece. Do you have like encyclopedic knowledge of everything. Is there a method to what you do?
It is amazing!
Aha thank you I appreciate the support
Ive been doing this for at least ten years now starting from a Little Mix fashion blog on Polyvore to this and over them years you learn a lot like trends, details, colours, brands etc. You learn the difference between crochet and lace for example, You also learn what brands the girls like. If you looked at jeans now you would see theres so many different styles so theres knowing the difference between them, Dresses you can get midi, maxi, mini, ballgown, fishtail, shirtdress, t-shirt dress etc You just absorb that knowledge, I dont research or learn for hours on end, I go on fashion websites everyday because Ive come to enjoy it and from that you learn what that brand sells and what is on trend.
At the moment I feel like im going through a bit of a crisis because I feel as though I have too find every single thing, Like thats what is expected of me and people will notice if I miss something out, But I cant find everything even with my knowledge and I feel as though im blipping, or glitcing or im losing my touch. The girls stylists are alright, but not much help and now theyve gone their individual ways they havent got one anymore so its harder then its ever been. For example im useless with finding jeans AND jewellery. I cant find Leighs newest necklace at the moment because I need a clearer, closer image.
Over the years the girls have gone from High street too Designer and it was only earlier I was thinking I wish the girls would go back to their HS wearing days beause its so much easier. Designer clothes are just a whole other dimension...you can go through a whole universe and not find the item and youve been on every single designer page. Designer clothes are just a whole tin of worms it just keeps producing and producing it never stops. I feel as though my HS fashion knowledge is great, but my designer knowledge is poo because theres unknown designers, theres new designers everyday, theres designer boutiques (Incredibly difficult to find when one of the girls wears their clothes) which is where the details come into play. Dont forget sites such as Zara name their items with names or they name it something completely different to what youre searching for even though its right, That annoys me alot.
But yes I suppose you can call me a encyclopedia of knowledge and at the end of the day no one else is going to up the task. Ive seen multiple people do it and they give up after a week. I think to do this you have to be passionate and love it. I actually think im the only little mix fashion blog going at the minute. Theres also multiple other fashion accounts on Instagram who look for other celebs fashion such as The Kardashian`s, Hailey Bieber, The Royals etc.
I have a tik tok LittleMixStyleBlog and I have been meaning for a while now to do a video explaining how I find the items.
1 note · View note
ryukoishida · 7 years ago
Text
QZGS | The King’s Avatar Fic: In which swordsman!ST confesses his affection for fox spirit!WZ and WZ is hella confused.
Title: Beneath the Cherry Blossom Tree Fandom: The King’s Avatar / Quan Zhi Gao Shou Character(s)/Pairing(s): Yu/Huang (Wenzhou/Shaotian); Lu Hanwen Summary: A nine-tailed snow fox spirit rescued a young boy who would become a swordsman sworn to protect the weak.   Part: 3/5 Rating: PG-13 A/N: Blame the cheesiness on the crappy Chinese romance novels I’ve been reading recently. Honestly no regrets though, y’all. Also maybe just a slight warning that YWZ is a little OOC at the beginning.
Writing Commission | Editing & Translation Services
Parts:
i. Encounter ii. Awakening iii. Confession iv. Survival v. Blossom
iii. Confession
Every three to four months, after he’d gotten paid from work and if he had a day off, Huang Shaotian would wander around the marketplace in town center and purchase all sorts of wines and snacks while playfully negotiating prices with the shopkeepers who had known him since he was a child.
Back at his humble home, the young constable headed straight for the stable and started packing his purchases into the worn-out leather panniers strapped to his horse, his lips curving up slightly into a smile while he hummed a nameless tune under his breath.
It was early enough in the afternoon that the shadows were still short when he walked with his ride toward the rear entrance of the complex, but the February wind still bit into his skin slyly, making him shudder into his scarf.  
“Shaotian-ge ge!” a boyish voice was calling out to him.
Huang Shaotian twisted around to see Lu Hanwen, now ten years of age since he’d been rescued by Huang Shaotian and unofficially adopted into Wei Chen’s family four years ago, running towards him, his dainty wooden sword used for training swinging around wildly held in one hand.
“What’s going on, Hanwen?” he asked with a bright grin and ruffled the boy’s hair into a mess.
“Spar with me, Shaotian-ge ge! I’ve just mastered the first five techniques from the Flowing Cloud sword-style and I want to try it out on an opponent!” Lu Hanwen told him excitedly, hazel eyes glistening in the winter sunlight.
“Not today, kid. I’ve got somewhere to be,” Huang Shaotian laughed, and it was then that Lu Hanwen noticed the horse and the panniers packed to the brim.
“Oh,” the boy exclaimed, then quickly commented with a knowing smirk, “You’re visiting Wenzhou-ge ge, huh? Will you bring him something from me then?” Lu Hanwen didn’t even wait for the constable’s reply before he ran back inside the house and came out within two minutes, a delicate lacquered box carefully cradled in both hands.
“Honeyed osmanthus snowflake cake,” Lu Hanwen told him, the tinge of pride that colored his voice made the older man chuckle quietly when he took the box from the boy and put it in with the rest of the snacks. “Wenzhou-ge ge likes the flavor of osmanthus flowers, right?”
“And you never make me my favourite foods, ever,” Huang Shaotian grumbled though he was still smiling a little when he said that. “Who came after you and saved your butt all those years ago, huh? Is that how you repay your savior?”
“Well, technically, Wenzhou-ge ge was the one who saved my life,” Lu Hanwen reminded him cheekily but added, “But since we just got some fresh ginger, I suppose I can make ginger milk curd after dinner. Maybe.”
With a giggle, Lu Hanwen dodged Huang Shaotian’s hand and danced aside far enough where the constable was unable to reach him.
“Hey, Hanwen, if Wei-da ge come home early and ask for me…”
“Don’t worry, Shaotian-ge ge, I know what to do!”
The day Huang Shaotian brought Lu Hanwen back to the village, they had promised to keep their encounter with Yu Wenzhou a secret between just the two of them. Lu Hanwen had been too young to understand the true reason behind this concealment, but the man with the fierce golden eyes was the only one who was brave and strong enough to come after him and the monstrous demon that snatched him from his home after murdering his entire family. His young, fragile heart held nothing but respect and gratitude for the young swordsman; Lu Hanwen would do anything Huang Shaotian asked of him, no questions asked.  
“I know I can depend on you,” Huang Shaotian sent him a thankful grin. “And one more thing.” His expression became more solemn.
“Yeah?”
“The instances of kidnapping had been increasing lately,” his brows gathered into a tight frown at the thought, “so make sure you don’t go out after dark.”
Lu Hanwen nodded. “See you tonight!”
*
It was about a thirty-minute journey on horse from the village to the foot of the mountain, and the hike up to the summit of Blue Rain Peak was about another hour on foot, though with Huang Shaotian’s qing gong skills, which had been enhanced over the years of strict training, it usually only took the young swordsman about twenty minutes to reach the top, but he was weighted down with food and drinks today, so he couldn’t run as fast as he’d liked to.
He was halfway up the summit when he sensed it: that warm swirl stirring up in the depth of his core, like a whirlwind of gentle flame ribbons binding intimately around his heart, a degree too much yet strangely pleasant all the same.
Though the charm etched on the back of his hands no longer ignited whenever he went near Yu Wenzhou, but somehow, the link that they shared through the single droplet of the fox spirit’s blood was powerful enough so that even Huang Shaotian could sense the fox’s presence before he could see him with his naked eyes.
“Yu Wenzhou, if you’re around, I can really use another pair of hands with these,” Huang Shaotian repositioned the panniers more securely over his shoulders with a grunt.
“You have kept me waiting for too long, Huang Shaotian,” the familiar voice — cold as the snow that swathed the surface of the rocky crests for the majority of the year yet smooth and serene as the creeks that ran through the cracks and crevices of the boulders down the side of the mountain in the summer — was closer than the swordsman had expected, and he sharply turned around to see the fox spirit standing there.
His face displayed no obvious expression, so as usual, Huang Shaotian couldn’t quite tell what the fox spirit was thinking or feeling, but the fox’s amethyst eyes were focused solely on him and him alone, and Huang Shaotian thought to himself that this was really all that mattered, wasn’t it?
“Come,” Yu Wenzhou extended an arm out in invitation towards the swordsman after eyeing the packs on his shoulders with the slightest hint of curiosity that struck across his face as quick as lightning before he turned his head to the side, “we are wasting time standing around.”
“Yeah, yeah, you sure are in a hurry today, Lord Snow Fox,” Huang Shaotian chuckled nervously, though he had no reason to feel nervous after all this time. It had been a decade since they’d known each other, and this should have been a routine by now: him bringing offerings in the form of food and wine and his company, and the fox taking them through the boundary between reality and fantasy into a land of the fox spirit’s creation so that he could peacefully enjoy his offerings without the threat of worldly interruptions.
His hand was only shaking slightly when he placed it gingerly into Yu Wenzhou’s, the spirit’s skin cool beneath his palm as their fingers linked together in a loose fashion. With his other hand and using his index finger, the tip of which was glowing a warm white, Yu Wenzhou lightly touched the air before him as if there was a piece of invisible glass there, and the boundary opened itself up in a gradual churning of snow and air, blurring the vision around them until an oval gap big enough to fit a grown man appeared.
The edges between solid reality and ebbing illusion was always a peculiar displacement of space and time that shook the particles of Huang Shaotian’s physical body, and he often wondered if Yu Wenzhou, being a nine-hundred-year-old fox spirit, felt the same whenever they entered the other realm.  
Each time they crossed the boundary, a different scenery welcomed them: once it was a frozen lake with gorgeous frost-covered trees and icicles dangling like glass shards on branches lining the shore (Yu Wenzhou kept teasing Huang Shaotian when the swordsman shuddered and swore up a verbal storm since he’d been wearing his summer outfit, garment weaved from thin, breathable cotton, until the fox spirit, with a quiet laugh, lent the man his fur cloak), and another time it was a grassy hill in the height of summer, the deep night buzzing with the crickets’ songs as they gazed up into the starry sky.
This time, Huang Shaotian was thankful for Yu Wenzhou’s choice of location: the gentle spring breeze caressed his skin and teased his long hair, bringing with it a soft hint of earthy and floral scent prominent just after the rain; the creek that ran down the gently rolling hill creating a soft, trickling tune in the background, and the land was covered by miles and miles of peach and cherry blossom trees as far as the eye could see.
To think that this was all conjured within the fox spirit’s mind, it made Huang Shaotian incredibly curious about the places Yu Wenzhou had been to and whether these fantastical places were inspired by the sites he’d seen and experienced during his long life. But when he asked several years ago, Huang Shaotian discovered that Yu Wenzhou didn’t like to elaborate, only briskly replied with a “serve me the spirits” and turning his head away adamantly so that it was impossible for the other man to see his expression.
“This is beautiful,” Huang Shaotian sighed in awe, as he always did, looking around and laughing like a delighted child when he caught a stray petal in his palm before he blew it away into the air again. He turned to face the fox spirit with a wide, bright smile, “Yu Wenzhou, thank you for bringing me to these gorgeous places every time we get together.”
“I merely wanted a place where I can enjoy my offerings in peace,” Yu Wenzhou said, lowering his gaze and as if he’d just realized their hands were still linked, he quickly let go of the swordsman’s hand and walked on. His long white garment and snowy locks flowing behind him gracefully in ripples, his strides long and purposeful, yet elegant like a practiced dance.
Huang Shaotian tried not to let that seemingly aloof gesture bother him too much, and jogged a few steps to catch up with the fox spirit.
“You say that all the time, sure, but you know, despite how little you talk about yourself, I feel like these places you created from your mind, and just the fact that you are willingly letting me in, is your way of opening up to me and telling me something about yourself,” Huang Shaotian said teasingly, though deep in his heart, there was a small portion of him that wished for it to be true.
Perhaps he was asking for too much.
“You are over-analyzing my intention,” Yu Wenzhou told him coldly and pointed a clawed finger towards a spot beneath a fully blooming cherry blossom tree a few steps from the creek. “Let us rest over there.”
“Whatever you say,” Huang Shaotian shrugged and began to run ahead to set everything up.
Once they’d comfortably settled down with a variety of food and drinks spread around them in some vague sense of order, Huang Shaotian handed over the box that Lu Hanwen had given him earlier.
“This is from Hanwen,” Huang Shaotian told him, and added, “I swear that brat likes you more than he likes me, which doesn’t seem fair, don’t you think? I mean, I was the one who went through all the trouble to go after him and then begged Wei-da ge to take him in, right? I almost lost my life that time, damn!”
“Do not exaggerate. You had not been in any danger back then,” Yu Wenzhou commented with a wry smirk, “I would have come to take back what was mine, eventually.”
“Yeah, next time maybe don’t wait until I’m half-dead to do that? I’m only human and not a centuries-old spirit like your lordship — I die very, very easily,” Huang Shaotian mumbled as he tore open the seal covering the mouth of one of the porcelain wine bottles.
Something dark passed over the fox spirit’s face just then, but it was gone before Huang Shaotian could comprehend the expression.
“You will never come to any true harm as long as you have my blood inside you and for as long as I shall live,” Yu Wenzhou said in his usual cool and detached tone, as if he wasn’t making a life-long promise to the swordsman who would readily cut open his chest and offer his own heart if the fox spirit should ask, and then he uttered in a softer voice, “I will not allow that to happen.”
Yu Wenzhou took the box from the swordsman and carefully lifted the lid off. A poignant yet gentle scent of osmanthus immediately caught his sensitive nose, the aroma that reminded him of his homeland from ages ago temporarily made him let go of his previous dark trail of thought. The milky goldenrod-coloured snowflake cake was cut neatly into squares and sprinkled with pale osmanthus petals and sugar crystals on top.  
“He remembered?” Yu Wenzhou almost sounded surprised.
“I told him you really liked the osmanthus jelly he made for you last time,” Huang Shaotian said, placing the opened vessel of wine by the fox spirit’s knee and started to pick up a piece of candied sesame cracker to nibble on.
Yu Wenzhou picked up a slice of the gelatinous dessert with two fingers, his other arm lifted up to politely hide the lower half of his face with his wide sleeve as he took a small bite. The sweetness of the honey, the silkiness of the milk, and the delicate fragrance of the flowers balanced each other out perfectly on his tongue.
“Tell Lu Hanwen that I thank him for this,” Yu Wenzhou finally murmured after he finished the piece he had, a corner of his lips tucked upwards into a faint smile, the expression verging on the boundary of kind and warm, “it is lovely.”  
“Sure will,” Huang Shaotian nodded, noticing the slight change but didn’t say anything more.
After that, they fell into a comfortable silence as they ate, though of course, with Huang Shaotian present, the silence didn’t last long, and he began to babble one-sidedly about the cases he solved and the criminals he beat up and threw into prison over the last few months.
From the fox spirit’s facial expression, one wouldn’t be able to tell whether he was annoyed or bored, but Huang Shaotian knew, even from the subtlest of movements, like the pauses of his hand or the twitch of his lips, that Yu Wenzhou was listening closely and was even at times amused by the constable’s rowdy adventures.
Yu Wenzhou was used to the stillness and stirrings of the mountains, and the majority of the reason why he left the fox clan when he was still a young spirit was because he sought and craved the peace that he could never have back at home. For hundreds of years, he had kept to himself, never seeking company or wanting any, and then Huang Shaotian collided into his life like the brightest star striking across the long years of night skies, burning a scathing path and leaving destruction behind.
Huang Shaotian was an interesting child — and this wasn’t only due to the strange composition of his body; he wasn’t scared of him even though he knew well that Yu Wenzhou could have done anything to him. Instead, Huang Shaotian accepted him for who he was, and while their relationship had started out as a transaction that had obvious benefits for both parties, somewhere along the years, they had forgotten about that part of their verbal contract, and the line between the spirit and the human had blurred.
“What are you thinking?” Yu Wenzhou asked after swallowing a mouthful of bayberry wine when Huang Shaotian remained uncharacteristically quiet after his last story. When the young swordsman continued to stare at the vessel of mead in his hands, the fox spirit tried again, a hint of impatience seeping into his even tone. “Huang Shaotian?”
“Sorry, sorry,” the swordsman turned his head sharply towards the fox spirit and grinned sheepishly, “what were you saying?”
“Is there something occupying your mind that had you so distracted you cannot even spare a bit of your attention when you are in my company?” Yu Wenzhou’s gaze was unforgivingly cold but Huang Shaotian thought he saw a flicker of hurt in there, too.
“My apologies,” Huang Shaotian took another swig from his bottle and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand like he was trying to wipe away something dirty, “I was just thinking about a case we’re working on right now.”
“Is it a particularly difficult case?”
Yu Wenzhou didn’t really care about affairs that troubled the human world, but if there was something that was bothering Huang Shaotian, he would at least lend him an ear.
“Not difficult, but more like… disturbing?” Huang Shaotian tilted his head to the side, his forelocks which had grown too long since he hadn’t had time to trim fell into his eyes haphazardly.
Yu Wenzhou nodded for him to continue, his gaze entirely focused on the swordsman now.
“Since the end of last year, there had been cases of kidnapping that started out in a small town down south, but the instances had been getting more frequent as the culprits moved their way northward,” Huang Shaotian explained, eyes narrowing with irritation, “a lot of children had gone missing for the last few months in our town, and when some of them were found, it appeared that they couldn’t remember what’d happened or who’d captured them. On top of that…”
“Go on.”
“These children’s vitality had been completely drained dry,” Huang Shaotian’s grip on the porcelain bottle turned tighter and his hand was shaking in anger, his voice becoming a low growl, “they were barely breathing and even when they eventually recuperate, their internal energy systems had been broken into so they will become more susceptible to illnesses and physical damages as they grow up.”
“And you constables have no clue who is responsible for these crimes?”
“There were rumors about a certain cult whose leader has been using children’s bodies as ingredients for his refinery training due to the children’s purer vitality, so his followers had been snatching kids from different towns and cities for their master to use,” Huang Shaotian recalled, voice drenched in open disgust as he continued, “but for whatever reason, as soon as the local constables got close to the source, all traces of clues and evidence would be erased, as if the cult knew what was going on and they were just toying with the authorities.”
“You humans can be incredibly unobservant when it comes to matters that are so apparent,” Yu Wenzhou said, unimpressed.
“I can really do with less insults from you and more actual helpful advice, if you even have any,” Huang Shaotian mumbled in annoyance. His cheeks had grown rosier, but whether it was due to the alcohol he’d been consuming or the topic of their conversation, Yu Weznhou couldn’t tell for certain.
“Have you not considered the possibility that this may be the work of a demon — or a spirit that is trying to exalt himself into the rank of a demon — and not a mortal at all?”
“You mean a spirit is behind all this? Seems a bit elaborate, don’t you think? The hassle of gathering ‘believers’, the messy kidnappings, the disposal of the children — why go through so much trouble?”
“Certain types enjoy toying with their food before consuming — makes for better entertainment, they would say,” Yu Wenzhou turned his head away just then, his amethyst gaze focusing instead on the flowing creek and his pale lips tightening into a firm line.
“Tell me if I’m overthinking this again, Yu Wenzhou,” Huang Shaotian sat up straighter and faced him even though the fox demon made no sign to move, “but it sounds like you know exactly who’s responsible for this.”
Again, the trickling of water and the singing of larks filled in the suddenly stifling silence.
“What are you not telling me?” the swordsman insisted, his tone urgent, and he reached out a hand to grasp onto Yu Wenzhou’s sleeve before he could stop himself.
The fox demon instantly stared down at where Huang Shaotian’s tanned hand was touching his stark white garment, and when he finally lifted his head up to look at the swordsman, his eyes had darkened to a stormy violet that made Huang Shaotian tremble and remember that he was more like a beast than human despite his deceptively human-esque physical features.  
He shook off the swordsman’s hold on him, yet the next moment found Huang Shaotian trapped between the trunk of the cherry blossom tree they’d been sitting under and Yu Wenzhou’s body, the spirit’s arms caging him on both sides; he lowered his head, his torso, until they were merely a breath apart, and his snow-white hair tumbled over his shoulders like strands of silk and ice. His eyes were absolutely dark now, no light and no trace of the elegant lilac to be seen.
When he spoke, his breaths chilled Huang Shaotian’s skin, and the cold just spread deeper and deeper into his muscles, through his blood and into his bones. Yet he couldn’t look away from the darkness of the fox spirit’s eyes; there was something strangely haunting yet striking about them — it reeked of the endless possibilities of wickedness, sin, violence, beauty, and humanity that Yu Wenzhou was capable of, and this all depended on the fox spirit’s own personal choice.
“Sometimes I do think you easily forget your place, Huang Shoatian,” Yu Wenzhou whispered, his lips barely moving though the swordsman could hear him loud and clear.
Huang Shaotian swallowed, and his heart was thundering painfully against his chest, making breathing that much more difficult. He wasn’t used to this proximity — to him, Yu Wenzhou had always been a figure atop the summit of the highest mountain, an unreachable figure though he might forever strive to reach there, to be equal to him, but it was impossible.
He kept telling himself over and over again that the fox spirit would never return his affection — he wasn’t that naivë — but the love in him only grew and grew; it filled up his heart from the first inkling of realization four years ago and then it spilled over like ink on paper, staining everything he touched, every step he walked, every breath he took.
From above them, a cherry blossom petal twirled downward and landed delicately on a strand of the fox spirit’s hair. The swordsman wordlessly reached up and gently plucked it off; it dissipated like smoke, like dust between his fingertips.
“Hey, Yu Wenzhou,” Huang Shaotian breathed out his name, the warm moisture from his exhale momentarily startling the fox spirit into silence as he stared down at him with unemotional eyes, “I know this isn’t the best time but screw timing, I’ve always been terrible at these kinds of things so it figures that this would happen to me again. Anyway, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
“What is it?”
“I am in love with you.”
Yu Wenzhou blinked, and then three seconds later, he blinked again, this time the colour returning to his irises but his cheeks turned even paler than usual. His brows dipped down into a puzzled frown as he retrieved his arms back to his side and sat back down.
“I… do not understand,” he said — not angry, not joyous, merely matter-of-fact and slightly perplexed.
7 notes · View notes
riting · 4 years ago
Text
It is Dense and Bears Repetition: Notes on Rehearsals of Asher Hartman’s The Dope Elf by Neha Choksi
Tumblr media
i.
I might as well as confess: to witness some things over and over is a fascinating pleasure.  I like seeing rehearsals not merely because they revel in repetition, but because they necessarily incorporate change overtly and experientially for everyone present—including me, the embedded witness.  
In April 2019, I started attending rehearsals for Asher Hartman’s The Dope Elf. The piece uses characters akin to northern European mythical creatures to explore the legacy of white supremacy in the United States. The first—and because of COVID the only—showing of this work took the form of three elaborately-plotted plays, with scenes following each other according to a sometimes inscrutable logic, unfolding over three consecutive days. (There are more plays to come in later showings.)  The actors lived on-site, slipping between self and role, in a trailer-park-like installation in a cavernous space.  This double use of the site—as actor accommodation and performance venue—points to the way in which Hartman sources each actor's multiple characters at least partly in each actor’s own shadow self and emotional make up.  One might say that he is similarly mining America’s shadow self, beset as it is with the ills, aches, and pains that attend its settler-colonial DNA and live on in its trauma-bearing white supremacist structure.
Rehearsals had begun in early 2019, four months earlier, and I continued attending intermittently over the course of the next four months.  I wanted to see how Asher’s thickly-worded, joyously-crafted works came to be within a community of actors.  The actors were Zut Lorz, Philip Littell, Joe Seely, Paul Outlaw, Michael Bonnabel, and Jacqueline Wright as the Dope Elf.  I was interested in Hartman's rehearsal process, but I was equally interested in what it might mean for me to revisit something again and again.  I was then repeating kindergarten, attending school daily as a kindergartener for my own lived performance project, and I was interested in repetition as a productive space, generating surplus meaning and unfolding thoughts.
Tumblr media
ii.
Rehearsal-as-work is itself a knotty concept: the repetition is simultaneously labor, process and product/ion. Think of Ragnar Kjartansson’s Bliss at REDCAT last year, in which a three-minute excerpt of the finale from the Marriage of Figaro—the part where the philandering Count successfully pleads forgiveness from the Countess—is sung by the cast repeatedly for twelve hours. That “Contessa Perdono” finale is well-known and thus it was not difficult to take the whole in.  The nuances and differences in each serial repetition and its sheer duration made the piece work.  But take a typical Asher Hartman play—erudite, wordy, noisy, and well-jointed—and I would have to say: the labor, process, and production are all dense and bear repetition.
I attended at least ten rehearsals, two fund-raising performances, and a tech meeting. The rehearsals had been in progress for several months by the time I joined, and took place either at Asher’s studio or at another location which had space for scenes with extensive movement.  Some of the scenes that I saw rehearsed again and again were etched in my brain, but largely the onslaught of language and prowess of the actors overtook any attempt I might make to disentangle the narrative threads. The language was fiendishly intricate and the actors enrapturing. The most important takeaway for me was how the experiential onslaught of an Asher Hartman play doesn’t diminish upon repeats. It grows into something more powerful, the way poetry learned by heart does, at least for me. Because I purposefully never read the play script, and because I saw bits out of sequence, I remain to this day largely puzzled about the storylines, if one can even call them that; however, my sense of the texture of the characters and the power in each word they uttered increased with each repetition—even within a single rehearsal session. Here is a one section of Asher’s text that I heard over and over and faintly understood to be about a tussle between rival interests for control of a place called Bodysnatch Lane. Here the Princes of Undeath, who is also an American bore, is excavated nightly, in a recursive bit that alludes to American hauntings and mimics my own labor of repeated rehearsal viewings.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The more I saw this scene rehearsed, the more I knew it to function through the language, consciously playing with the listener’s bewilderment.  And yet the resurrection mingled with the deadening injection conjured the haunting numbness around meaning that repetition can produce. When I first tried to write a draft for this report on the rehearsals, it came out something like this:
It is dense and bears repetition. It is tightly packed and could be repeated. It wants to be dense and enjoys reiteration. It was fitted like a Rubik’s cube and could be manipulated ad infinitum. It can be opaque and will bear repeated viewings. It was fluid and vast like an ocean and allowed for continuous indefinable waves to wash over me. It was impenetrable and welcomed the battering ram of persistence. It is self-referential and needs recurrence to be communal. It will be dense and will bear re-enactment.
It was my experience in a nutshell.  Novelist Tom McCarthy points to something similar in reference to Winnie in Beckett’s Happy Days: though Winnie says she is going to perform the exact same action of removing her mirror from her handbag the next day, it is not actually possible for a repetition to be exact—the memory of the earlier action changes the perception of the later one.  It is not a repetition so much as a re-enactment of an action that is first tested and then re-enacted; and then there is a re-enacting of the re-enactment. What happens to one’s experience of time when faced with these recurring enactments? It becomes potentially endless. You become committed to reviewing the material, regardless of whether the time embedded in the material itself is slight or vast. The act of revisiting the rehearsals and the actors' own repeated endeavors conjured the feeling that this could go on forever, this honing, this shaping, this readjusting.
iii.
Asher’s skill shone in building on the actors’ proclivities and input to craft each character's behavior and inner life.  If the actor’s personal tastes and tendencies, known to Asher from prior collaborations and extensive unpacking while first working on this piece, were fundamental to writing the characters, they remained essential during rehearsals.  Characters' unknown histories, unconscious drives, unrevealed passions and clarified micro-aggressions were all attended to, heightened, or left to simmer and bubble into the work.  The crux of it, at least as I felt it presented in the words of the piece, was that all the characters—and thus we humans—are needy in some way or another. Those pushes and pulls of the actor’s and character’s needs were key in how I saw Asher tend to the work, the larger purpose of which is seemed to be a deep illumination of the needs and psychic pains inflicted by the demands of the white suprematist superstructure.  As a director, he was always reassuring and relentlessly positive, sticking to the principle of “Yes, and…” (which the improv world recognizes as a way to build on each past action, constantly relaying the baton).
By the time I was in attendance, there was not much improvisation in rehearsal. However, the actors had a lot of leeway within the structure the language provided.  Asher was open and supportive, and refrained from giving too many stage directions.  He was compassionately engaged, listening, noticing; he attended to the slightest shifts in tone, mood, and body positions.  Feedback did not happen at every rehearsal. It was only after multiple rehearsals that there might be a roundtable to go over his notes.  The result was a seemingly non-hierarchically-motivated, mostly supportive, and non-critique-heavy space.
Still, each actor had a different relationship to Asher and his work.  There were outbursts of: “The writing is so fucking good!” and “I am not a good enough actor...”  There was a sense that: “It’s [the script] so spare, we don’t need an extra layer of Beckett.”  And: “There is no theater space in LA for this... it is really Asher’s imagination!” This attitude asserted the primacy of the director, and Asher didn’t really try to mitigate that sense.  It was his work in the end.
iv.
Rehearsal was work, no two ways about it.  It was an act of refining what would be many scenes over multiple days for a public performance, with Asher trying to pin down the tenor of each section like a slippery wrestling opponent. Horseplay was limited to what could benefit the work.  Rehearsals were calm and organized.  Each day's agenda was decided roughly the week prior and revised as-needed.  
Carl Weber once described his first visit to a Berliner Ensemble rehearsal for Brecht’s Urfaust in a way that made work and relaxation seem identical:
I walked into the rehearsal and it was obvious that they were taking a break. Brecht was sitting in a chair smoking a cigar, the director of the production, Egon Monk, and two or three assistants were sitting with him, some of the actors were on stage and some were standing around Brecht, joking, making funny movements and laughing about them. Then one actor went up on the stage and tried about 30 different ways of falling from a table. They talked a little about the Urfaust-scene 'In Auerbachs Keller' […].  Another actor tried the table, the results were compared, with a lot of laughing and a lot more of horse-play.  This went on and on, and someone ate a sandwich, and I thought, my god this is a long break.  So I sat naively and waited, and just before Monk said, 'Well, now we are finished, let’s go home,' I realized that this was rehearsal.
The loose method of the Berliner Ensemble was generative for Brecht, but at this point in the process, Asher’s rehearsals involved not so much trying thirty different ways of doing one thing, as much as honing the one thing that Asher's language had established. With each repetition, the company digs deeper into what is already there. Asher and the actors never treated the rehearsal as a break, nor the breaks as potential spaces for tackling  rehearsal questions.  The non-work-related breaks were short ones. At one rehearsal space, this meant fueling up on the much-favored licorice and other snacks.  The second space forbade eating of any kind and the breaks were just solo and chitchat time. The only other “breaks” from being on the floor with the text were either discussion of matters pertaining to racial context, mythological sources, character background, or feedback notes.  And, of course, warm ups.
Here are two of the warm-ups Asher led on “Movement Mondays”:
Imagine legs with magnets that go down to the start of time through layers of rock.
Imagine heads beaming into infinity.
Now let’s do some body rolls and exercises to move the body.
Now let's do energy readings of each other.  Feel the energy field.
(Here I tell AH, “I don’t know if I get it.”  Trying to reassure me, AH says, “Most people can’t visualize it.”  I say, “I’d rather be touching.”  “Imagine that as a bumper sticker,” is the joke reply.  So, I imagine cars touching or crashing.)
And:
Pick someone to follow without letting them know you are following. Don’t indicate to them or to anyone else. If you are being followed, lose your follower.
Get connected, or get paranoid.
Don’t lose sight. Concentrate on a part of someone else’s body, follow it, then join it, that is, attach to that part somehow.
Unfold out of the conjoined position slowly.
Asher’s method was to let the actors show off, go big, and play, and then rein them in and slow them down.  There were injunctions to remember gestures from last rehearsal.  A few times, when Asher referred to a narrative thread or story development, the actors looked confused.  Asher had to explain that he hasn’t written that part yet; he was considering it. Things were in flux in Asher’s head, for sure. Although individual lines were not undergoing much revision, entire sections were being added or dropped. Sometimes lines were cut because of something an actor did inadvertently that worked. Asher was open to that.  
The discursive space around the work seemed vital to everyone. During a snack break, Joe said that having conversations with Asher felt like being a kid on grandpa’s knee. Philip talked about what it meant to have Asher channel Philip's own real-life drives into a character. “I wanted to scare people, to confront infirmity and death,” he said. ”And I am always up for an anguished argument with my sexual life.” Joe added, “I wanted to experience love, but Asher subverts [that desire]. He starts at A and ends at 17.” In working on the piece, he felt challenged to “own my own gravitas which I often negate.” Zut said that the work challenged her ability to take up space, on the one hand—”and then I become the void.”
v.
Here are some of Asher’s interjections to the actors culled from multiple days of rehearsal:
“Hold it, don’t speak.” “Let it go.” “Stop right there.” “If you feel like it.” “Find the gesture.” The Old Woman character says: “I am not there yet. You want me to find it.”
Tumblr media
“Yes.” “Hold it.” “Release that.” “Just go really still, Joe, and use your voice.” “That’s good.” “That’s a great note.” “Decide whether you are going to inject him.”
Tumblr media
“Really slow it down.  Register gestures if you want; I won’t orchestrate it.” “Lets slow it down... 3…(trails off), just in short phrases.” “So slow it down, pause and allow him to reveal how he feels.” “Assign each person a color.” “Take the fluidity and naturalism out; replace it with slow tics and stares.” “Are you creating this scene or observing it?  You can never be a part of it.” “Use angles, not arabesques. Open, not clumps.” “She has a full fridge and pays her internet bills, as background.” “These two might eat in the same restaurant together.” “Repetition is making you rush. But there is no need to rush. This script needs space, pauses, multiple speeds.”  
Tumblr media
vi.
The manner in which rehearsals are conducted says something about the director’s conception of society in which this theater is made. Asher made a generous space with room for intuitive reflections. Even my position as an observer became the subject of discussion. Nothing was recorded; everything was left to be reviewed in the director’s head and the actor’s somatic memory. Only the text was not improvised but pre-written and pre-memorized.
The rehearsal world always mirrors the larger world’s concerns, whether intentionally or not, and the language-trauma embedded in the text allowed the actors at times to ask larger questions that took a distinctly political turn. Asher explained that in conceiving this play he was thinking about white supremacy through Viking/Nordic/Teutonic lineages. The mythic past he conjures in the text leaks into the world as it is today, and into the plays-to-come. He urged actors to remember that, in the world of the Dope Elf, “There is no morality—there are no limits, no codes, not even like the Mafia, since the Mafia has a code. Here if you don’t kill, you will be killed.”  At the same time, “The relation between gods and ordinary people is close.” 
Conversation slipped back and forth between the world of the play and our world. “What the whites have done is pretty mind blowing. Think of Haiti,” Asher said. Racist behaviors and habits, he insisted, are embedded in our culture: “Everything keeps repeating again and again.” 
Jaqueline responded that she wanted no part in that repetition.
Asher turns the conversation to violence.  One way to deal with violence, he says, “is to move toward it.” Another way is to insist that you “won’t be cornered.” 
In that situation, he said, “the dance changes, and it can work.” 
Tumblr media
vii.
Let me focus on one scene.  It is about John and Alfred, a couple who have been together 30 to 35 years, but who now are unhoused and making do on the streets. The scene focuses on Alfred’s attachment to and concern for a bird that used to always visit him and has since gone missing; it touches on the resentments that this attachment draws out from John.  The menace isn’t far from the love.
Asher. (to Michael, who plays Alfred) Is there anything [present in your exchange with John] in terms of your desire for him? Michael. This scene made me realize it is fluid. I do have feelings [for him] but this sex is just to get him off since I have no place [else] to go. Asher. Do you have any skills? Michael. No. The actor does. [The character, Alfred, is also an actor.] Asher. When did he [last] work? Michael. He does odd jobs.  He used to be good at decorating and keeping house but has lost the patience for it.  He was probably a florist. Asher. Is he cooking? Michael. He cooked more [before]. Asher. Making the house nice? Michael. Yes. Asher. Is he home most of the day? Michael. Yes. Asher. TV? Gardening? Michael. No and yes. Asher. What are you reading primarily? Michael. Biographies, so he has knowledge and taste, but he has lost interest [in the world].  He is just surviving. Asher. Who is this Bird? Michael. My baby. I watch it every day.  Always the same place, same branch every day. Bird brings me joy, but I envy its happiness, its energy, its flight. Bird represents something out there.
Asher. (to Philip, who plays John) You have headphones and exploit opportunities to use them so that you don’t have to listen to him. Who controls the relationship?
Philip. [There are] Two controls.  I was the sparkly star but I lost my nerve.  I control my helplessness.  Helplessness [was] a catalyst for [our] eventual homelessness. I am in charge of keeping it light. (Pause)  I lost my nerve 10 years ago. Asher. What happened? Phillip. I lost my work. Asher. What [work] do you do? How [did you lose it]? Helping? Philip. [I was] helping people with parties, going through stuff, discarding estate sales, [addressing] people’s needs, [like a] flea market assistant. (Pause.)  I am good value. I haven’t made good friends and the sexcapade market has declined. But at home I am the upper hand guy.
Asher. (to Michael) Do you fear him? Michael. I used to but not now. Asher. Do you have any contempt? Michael. A great deal, for losing himself.  He is caught in the undertow and cannot get to shore.
Asher. (new subject) What is the time of day? Michael. Evening, early evening. Asher. What time does the Bird come? Michael. In the morning, and then [it] comes and goes all day. It’s not come today or [for] a few days.  It’s scary. Philip. I remember 10 years ago he had a bird in the apartment.  Not sure. We are living in the same neighborhood [as when we had a home, even though now we are homeless and on the streets].  Trying to be vigilant.  One of us has to be vigilant otherwise we will lose all our stuff.  We’ve probably moved a few times to get away from someone, like “O, he pitched a tent here.”
Tumblr media
Asher.  Let’s try the scene again but close to each other, as close and wrapped up [and intertwined] in each other. I am asking [because I want] to get [at] this enmeshed, growing on the nerves feeling. When he says, “he’s my baby” about the Bird, how do you feel? Philip. I am your baby, asshole. Asher. If there is a discomfort in the body, use it. [How] agitated are you, Philip? Philip. Yes, I am not listening, I am not. Asher. Do you love the bird more than you love this man? Michael. Love the bird more than John? No, but it represents something.
The repetition with a difference succeeds in getting John to feel more disconnected and uncaring within the embrace.  Is that Asher’s purpose?  I can only guess.
In the third run through, as a result of the intertwining of the two actors' bodies, Michael/Alfred’s intensity increases, as does his touching, tapping, nudging, pushing, and shoving of Philip/John. Halfway through, they find themselves contorted and seated back to back, but Alfred keeps turning around to look at and engage John. Alfred’s words explode, his face hyper-emotional.  Up and down, staccato to smooth.  
This next section follows the bird discussion, and is about finding stray toothbrushes and unwanted used cans among the sleeping arrangements.
Asher. Do you enjoy it? When you find it [the toothbrush], does it feel like a victory? Philip. [What it feels like is:] I've got you now! It is a horror, but I've got you now! (Pause.) This loss of love section is clinical. We have common cause, [are] traveling companions, etc.  We agree the world is horrible, monstrous. Asher. Are you trying to make this relationship work? Michael. Yes, it is difficult and he [my character] wants to kill him [John], but [John also] wants to be the one to end it. I am trying to make it work and he is not trying. Asher. Redo the section about the loss of love you’ve incurred in this relationship. [And the part about how] you want a refund).
Again, another run-through.  And after:
Asher. John is very honest, almost cruel, you know? How he feels, how he reacts. Michael. It’s their comfort, in a way, to be that honest. Philip. We still play games with each other.  Pretending to know the Bird, and pretending not to listen, but to be listening, etc. Phillip can get anyone he wants, but John is a failed version of me.  Vanity is very me.
What was clear through Asher’s probing questions was that he was not directing the motivations or providing them in toto. Rather his trust in the actors and in the fact that not everyone knew what was in each other’s minds was relied and built upon. Each repetition pushed the work of the rehearsal forward.
The questions and answers generated more awareness while also inviting a realization of how little we know about each other—and indeed of ourselves. This yearning to connect and engage, the characters' missing each other and finding each other, and that craving embedded in John and Alfred's language moved me deeply each time in rehearsals. This, maybe, is where an important facet of white supremacy enters the work. To see the other people in one's life as irritants, to resent the sense of being stuck with them—this is how the structural force of racism wears us down.
viii.
I could feel the pressure mount as pencils-down time approached. The drive to access some authentic perfection and virtuosity remained. Rehearsal periods end. So how do we distinguish between a rehearsal and a performance, aside from all the tech and scenery? Theater can succeed and fail any time. You may prepare and prepare but you are always starting over. Renegotiating the unspoken bedrock of slavery and settler colonialism that is the terrain of our American society might require some of that tenaciousness and faith. Rehearsal can be a labor of pointing towards and then dismantling something – whether white supremacy, slavery, or settler colonialism; whether on the scale of history or the scale of an individual life. I never learned how this section with Alfred and John, dislocated from the rehearsal room to a performance space in Portland, worked as a repeated mise-en-scène. It does not matter. What I experienced the first time I heard it changes in retrospect, with each new repetition, and enlarges the connections I make with the real world pressures outside. The work remains suspended in the doing, and in our awareness of its re-enactment.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The Dope Elf is intended as a sequence of six plays. The first three plays was presented at Yale Union as part of the Portland Time Based Art Festival. The performance environment was open to the public September 14-22, with performances September 14 & 15. The fourth play in the cycle is currently being filmed to be viewable online through The Lab in San Franscisco in 2021.
Asher Hartman is a multidisciplinary artist and writer based in Los Angeles. His work explores personal and emotional histories in relation to ideologies that structure Western culture.
Neha Choksi is an artist who lives and works in Los Angeles and Bombay.
All drawings by Neha Choksi. Photographs by Ian Byers-Gamber.
0 notes
awaheedkhatri12 · 4 years ago
Text
Tips and Tricks To Avoid Mistakes While Buying A Pergola
Pergolas were redefined for the modern era. With so many alternatives available, you could purchase a pergola with a view to add value, beauty, and enjoyment to open spaces of all sizes and shapes. For example, the outdoor feeling of an arched pergola can transform a pleasing deck into your preferred hangout spot. Pergola alternatives are almost countless and shoppers often generally tend to make some commonplace errors that can be demanding in destiny. Having a tick list to shop for a pergola facilitates customers avoid typical high-priced errors. Here are some recommendations that a pergola shopping checklist have to include.
I) Choose the right fabric
ii) Go for thicker structures
iii) Notching and Hardware
iv) Do not forget about your local weather
v) Get details of manufacturer's warranty
vi) Reduce sizing errors to zero
vii) Amount of Assembly Required
Right Material: Ensure that you have chosen a Pergola so that it will continue to look lovely for ten years or greater. The proper preference of fabric is a key point. Most arched pergolas are built from Wood, Steel/Aluminum, Concrete, or PVC/Vinyl. Among them, wood is the maximum dependable and popular fabric. However, given a giant array of timber types which consist of California Redwood, Teak, Cedar, and Imported Hardwoods amongst others, customers easily can get confused as to which ones might be first-rate for their situation. Your wooden desire is one among the number one factors in figuring out the longevity of your pergola.
Tumblr media
Thicker Structures: Thicker wooden pergola structures tend to ultimate longer. Make sure you have compared timber thickness and the first-rate before shopping for. Check the amount and fine of fasteners your set includes. An easy way to examine 2 in addition sized Pergolas is to evaluate shipping weight. Shipping weight is an actual indicator of the heft of competing products.
Notching: Another important point to do not forget is notching. Notched pergolas final for longer times and have extra wind resistance capacity. So, at the same time as buying wood pergolas, ask their producers if they may be partially notched or absolutely notched. Buyers need to be conscious that notching creates interlocking joints and this fortifies the shape. Also notching insures that all your timbers stay immediately and authentic over the decades because they cannot circulate. Most producers skimp on notching partially or completely to lessen their construction expenses and will inform you that hardware will contend with the issue. It does no longer. If simply considered one of your Pergola's timbers has hidden stresses in it (quite commonplace), because it weathers over the years, it's going to turn, twist or sag. This will cause your lovely Pergola's strains to be ruined.
Terrasoverkappingen Moisture Issue: Less costly materials frequently last longer in dry climates, even as they may weaken gradually within the wet and harsh climates. Consider the amount of moisture in your local weather and lengthy-term decay issue. Drier gentle climate regions are clean on pergolas, however the first-rate of timber will become an issue every time there is good sized moisture or climate extremes.
Manufacturer's Warranty: Before buying an arched pergola, ensure that you may get replacement components in future years even though your pergola is custom-designed. Look for pergola manufacturers that have been within the business for at the least five years. The advantage of selecting this sort of manufacturer is that they may be greater reliable in phrases of satisfying their product assurance or assisting you with replacement parts at any time.
Tumblr media
Avoid Sizing Errors: Since most Pergola shoppers are one time buyers, many sizing mistakes are not unusual. For example, a not unusual mistake is to count on the site of the four corner posts is the scale of the pergola being offered. For instance, if the 4 nook posts of a pergola are predicted to sit on the nook of your latest concrete pad that is 10' x 12', and buy a 10' x 12' pergola, you may discover on receiving your pergola kit that the posts are set at 8' x 10' to the outside corners. The cause is pergolas are always sized based totally on their roof size. And, in maximum cases, pergolas are recessed returned from the roof edge everywhere from eight inches to some of ft depending on the layout (commonly 12"). Custom design or sizing can be a good concept to get a suitable pergola in your place. Look for manufacturers that insist on keep drawings prior to constructing and take the time to check the entirety time and again and make certain that all size and information are agreed to in writing beforehand of delivery time.
Assembly required/Assembly Instructions: Make sure you have got accrued assembly instructions from the producers. Usually you can ask for and obtain them thru e-mail prior to purchasing to look how a lot work you're in for. Most pergola kits are single day installs. If they may be completely erected in the store prior to delivery out, you ought to be assured to put in them properly. Insist on assembly instructions prior to shopping for and ask if there's any carpentry paintings you should do on your cease or no longer. The exceptional kits are simply like giant Lego sets that you simply must re-erect: no sanding, sealing, cutting, or drilling needed.
Pergolas made of satisfactory timber tend to be a piece costlier than those made from much less decay resistant woods. Your first actual choice is how long you'd like the shape to closing. Once you decide this, see if the manufacturer has warranties that match your requirements. If so, then you may pass on to considering length and layout and the orientation of your pergola. Most legit pergola manufacturers will permit you to ship in photos of your backyard. They will also permit you to ask any questions regarding the product and its installation procedures. A good percentage of pergola set up requires some customization. Take the time to make your investment in an arched pergola fruitful with the aid of taking a couple of minutes to ensure the dimensions and the positioning is concept out.
0 notes
gambhirs-blog · 4 years ago
Text
The Checklist Manifesto
By- Atul Gawande
Tumblr media
Atul Gawande has a startling idea: that many of the problems that we face today can be solved by the simple, humble checklist.
As a surgeon, he realized that many people were contracting serious illnesses - thousands of them dying from them - while they were in the hospital getting treatment for other things. In other words, hospitals were killing people.
His book outlines the solutions he helped implement across surgery sites worldwide, which dramatically improved outcomes for the better.
His book outlines his remarkable story, but also how checklists are solving problems in other industries too - like construction and aviation.
Why Humans Fail
As human beings, we fail for many reasons. Some things are just outside of our control and understanding. Even with the amazing technological advances we've seen in the past 100 years, our physical and mental powers are limited.
However, as Gawande points out, many things are in our control, and we can put them into two buckets.
The first bucket is ignorance. There are areas in which science has only given us a partial understanding of an issue. Try as they might, there are some snowstorms that the weather people just can't predict.
The second bucket is ineptitude. These are areas in which the knowledge exists, but we fail to apply it correctly. These are the buildings that get built incorrectly and collapse, the snowstorms that could have been predicted, and the steps before a surgery that should be followed to prevent infections from developing in a patient.
That last example is the one where Gawande has direct experience. In the US alone, 150,000 deaths occur in hospitals after surgeries each year, and experts predict that at least 75,000 of them are avoidable.
As Gawande says in the book:
"Failures of ignorance we can forgive. If the knowledge of the best thing to do in a given situation does not exist, we are happy to have people simply make their best effort. But if the knowledge exists and is not applied correctly, it is difficult not to be infuriated."
The solution in these situations, he says, is the humble checklist.
Checklists that save lives
One of the things that checklists overcome is the failure of human memory and attention. We know this intuitively - anybody who has forgotten where they put their keys knows how poor our memory and attention can be at times.
In particular, Gawande saw this play out time and time again in operating rooms around the world. Ask any surgeon whether or not they consistently take all of the steps necessary to prevent central line infections (caused bacteria or viruses entering the body when an IV is inserted), and they'll say "yes, of course I do - we learned that on the first day of medical school."
Just to bring this example to life, here are the 5 steps doctors are required to take in order to prevent these infections.
Wash their hands with soap.
Clean the patient's skin with antiseptic.
Put sterile drapes over the entire patient.
Wear a mask, hat, sterile gown, and gloves.
Put a sterile dressing over the insertion site once the line is in.
That's it!
If every surgeon followed those 5 steps in every single surgery, there would be no central line infections. Except every surgeon will tell you that they follow the steps all the time, and the data shows that thousands of people get central line infections every single year at hospitals.
Peter Pronovost, M.D., Ph.D. - a professor of anesthesiology and critical care medicine at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine - decided to give a checklist for these steps a try. First, he asked his nurses to watch the surgeons before the surgery and record whether or not they followed the steps.
After a month, the data was clear. In more than a third of the cases, the surgeons skipped at least one of the critical steps.
He instituted the checklist at the hospital, and found that the ten-day-line-infection rate went from 11 percent to zero. Over the next 15 months, in this single hospital, that checklist prevented forty-three infections, eight deaths, and saved two million dollars in extra costs (central line infections need to be treated).
The state of Michigan decided to implement this remarkable tool state wide, and found that over a period of eighteen months, they saved more than fifteen hundred lives and $175 million in extra costs.
Checklists that make money
As it turns out, checklists can be used for all sorts of things. One of the more exciting findings for entrepreneurs is that they can be used to make more money.
Gawande interviewed three different professional investors who used checklists in their business. One of them was Guy Spier, who runs a company called Aquamarine Capital Management, where he is in charge of a $70 million fund. The second investor didn't want to be identified, but is a director at one of the largest funds in the world that is worth billions of dollars. The third investor is Mohnish Pabrai.
Pabrai is an investor and the managing partner of Pabrai Investment Funds. He has a $50 million portfolio, and uses checklists to determine whether or not to make an investment in a company.
He is a follower of the value investing model (the patron saint of which is Warren Buffet) and over the course of his career has studied every single deal Berkshire Hathaway has done - good and bad. That, along with his own successes and failures, lead him to create a list of dozens of mistakes that they could make in the investment process.
Then, he systematically created a checklist to guard against them all. They ensure that at every step of the investing process they have the critical information they need in order to make the best possible decision.
All three of the investors that Gawande interviewed found that their returns were higher and they made fewer mistakes because of those checklists.
So why don't more investors take this kind of approach?
Psychologist Geoff Smart conducted a revealing research project. He studied and tracked fifty-one venture capitalists over time. For those of you who are unfamiliar, VCs make multi-million-dollar investments in risky, unproven start-up companies.
He studied how those people make their investment decisions, and identified six different approaches.
1. Art Critics are people who assess entrepreneurs almost at a glance, the way an art critic assesses the quality of a painting.
2. Sponges take their time gathering information about their targets, soaking up whatever they could and then making a gut call.
3. Prosecutors interrogated entrepreneurs aggressively testing them with challenging questions about their knowledge and how they would handle different situations.
4. Suitors were more focussed on wooing people rather than evaluating them.
5. Terminators see the entire effort as doomed to failure and skip the evaluation all together.
6. Airline Captains took a methodical checklist-driven approach, studying past mistakes and lessons and then built checklists into their process.
Then Smart tracked the VCs success over time. Not surprisingly, the Airline Captain approach was the clear winner. They had a median 80 percent return on their investments, and the other groups had a median of 35% or less.
The most interesting discovery from his study was that only one in eight VCs used the Airline Captain approach, in spite of its obvious advantages. All of this in spite of Smart publishing his findings in the best-selling book Who.
Let's move on to explore why checklists work, and why most of us refuse to use them in spite of their effectiveness.
Why Checklists Work
Checklists offer solutions for two problems.
First, as we've already discussed, it helps us remember the right sequence of steps to perform an important action. It is particularly helpful in what engineers call "all-or-nothing" processes - where missing one of the steps means you might as well not made any effort at all. The steps for central line infections and the pre-flight checklist for an airline pilot fall into this category.
Second, it prevents us from lulling ourselves into skipping steps even if we remember them.
Checklists remind us of the minimum necessary steps and make them explicit. They not only give us the opportunity to verify we've done things correctly, but also instill a discipline of higher performance.
One industry where checklists are used for pretty much everything is the airline industry. As Gawande points out, Dan Boorman has more experience translating theory into practice than pretty much everybody on the planet. He is a veteran pilot who has spent the past couple decades developing checklist and flight deck controls for Boeing.
The pilot handbook for each Boeing plane is about two hundred pages long and contains scores of checklists.
There are "normal" checklists for things they do every day - how they check the engines, what they do before taxiing to the runway, etc.
Then there are the non-normal checklists, which cover every conceivable emergency situation a pilot might run into - from a dead radio to a copilot becoming disabled.
Boeing issues more than one hundred checklists every single year - either new or revised - and over the years they have learned a thing or two about what makes a good checklist.
Here's how Boorman explains the difference:
Bad checklists are:
Vague and imprecise.
Long, hard to use and impractical.
Made by people with no awareness of the situations they are to be deployed in.
Treat people using the tools as dumb and try to spell out every single step.
Turn people's brains off instead of turning them on.
Good checklists are:
Precise.
Efficient, to the point and easy to use in the most difficult situations.
Do not try to spell out everything.
Provide reminders of only the most critical and important steps - the ones that even highly skilled professionals using them could miss.
Why we don't use them
It's now clear that checklists work, and we have a process for creating good ones. The biggest issue with them is compliance - people don't use them even though they know they work.
A potential reason is that our culture celebrates "heroes". The people who seem to have superpowers to produce results that most of us can only dream of.
One of those heroes in recent memory is Captain Chelsey Sullenberger III, who landed a passenger airplane in the Hudson River in New York City after being hit by a flock of geese shortly after takeoff.
Although the press heralded Sully as a hero (he was), the reality was that he was able to save all of the passengers aboard that flight by relying on his training to go through the checklists.
Maybe if we focused more of our attention on exactly why our heroes are able to create remarkable results, we'll place less emphasis on their personal skills and abilities and more emphasis on the systems and procedures they use to produce remarkable results.
Conclusion
It's exquisitely clear that using checklists will produce better results in almost any area of your business. In fact, the more important the task, the more effective a checklist will be.
The ball is in your court.
0 notes
gta5onios048bestblog-blog · 5 years ago
Text
Gta 5 How To Use Mobile Operations Center
I Am Playing Gta 5 On the web Through My Mobile Information But I Get A Notification
In this video I will teach you how to download and play GTA 5 for Android and iOS. The Kal-El tablet also brought out an additional surprise: A wired Xbox 360 controller utilized to manage the game by means of the device's USB port. That is suitable: GTA3‘s mobile release will assistance USB controllers on devices that can manage it. Apple's tablets and smartphones will not officially help the function due to the fact they have no USB port, though Rockstar admits that such functionality isn't out of the question with the assistance of a Camera Connection Kit.
Grand Theft Auto V (GTA 5 or GTA V) is a video game developed by Rockstar North. It is the fifteenth installment in the Grand Theft Auto series and the sequel to Grand Theft Auto IV. The original edition was released on September 17, 2013 for the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. The Xbox 1 and Playstation 4 versions were released on November 18 , 2014, and was later released on April 14, 2015 for the Pc. The original problem was announced on October 25, 2011 The very first trailer of the game was released on November two, 2011 at 4:00 GMT. The game was initially scheduled for a Spring 2013 release and there had been even posters printed saying, but was delayed until September 17 of the similar year. Then, on July 15, 2013, Rockstar announced the Japanese release date for the game: October ten, 2013, nearly a month soon after it was released in the Western planet. The Enhanced Edition was announced on June 9, 2014 with pre-orders on June 10th.
Web-sites as we all know, may perhaps be accessed from desktops or from mobile devices like wise phones and tablets. And, web-sites these days need to be built with mechanisms to accept such requests and carry out properly irrespective of the supply of the request. Such internet style that takes into account the users' device, its screen size and orientation and the users' behaviour and responds seamlessly to deliver the most optimum knowledge irrespective of the device is known as Responsive Web Design.
For appropriate old-school GTA action, two perfectly playable games draw inspiration from the original. In Automobile Jack Streets (£1.99, iPhone) you play the element of Randall, whose gambling debts owed to a crime boss have to be paid off by stealing cars, bank heists and other crimes. It really is colourful and exciting - only the slightly awkward controls let it down a bit.
GTA five Android is a planet most effective Open Planet , Action Game which is developed by quite well-liked game building Rockstar Games The Rockstar game has a extremely preferred GTA series in which GTA San Andreas , GTA Vice City , GTA three , Bully, GTA four, GTA San Andreas Complete Version , are a single of the well-known games around the world. In this game, you have so numerous Amazing Missions of Shooting, Driving, and Gambling which you can do in the game. The GTA 5 Android game is firstly released for PlayStation 3 and then following it comes in other consoles.
It is worth to note that the very same factor of course incorporates folks who play mobile GTA 5. There are, nonetheless, drawbacks of GTA V. One of them is soundtrack or, to be a lot more precise, the restrictions in radio. There are only quite a few radio stations to opt for from. While music that 1 can discover there is fairly entertaining, it can get boring rather effortlessly. Nevertheless, you can upload your personal songs and delight in them although roaming around massive planet of GTA. This can a bit save your situation if you are a music lover.
This year marks the 10th anniversary of Rockstar Games ‘ groundbreaking open-world crime adventure, Grand Theft Auto 3 To celebrate, the developer is taking what was at 1 time the most marvelous technological wonder in the gaming world and breaking new ground with it after once more by delivering a console-excellent exerience to a mobile audience.
As discovered by Twitter user @KarmaIngram1 , there is truly one particular extra secret telephone number in GTA V that you can get in touch with. Dialing 1-999-367-3767 connects you to 'œBlack Cellphones,' which for what ever explanation triggers an explosion, and it also changes the appearance of your cell telephone itself. You can see this in action in the video above.
Tumblr media
youtube
Tumblr media
1 of the great new characteristics for GTA five Android and iOS is the Rockstar editor exactly where customers can record and produce videos of their preferred experiences. You have the choice to add it onto Rockstar Social Games Club or even Every day Motion, YouTube, or Vimeo. Share your Grand theft auto moments with close friends and loved ones. Now if you are wondering if there is an offline mode, wonder no extra due to the fact YES! Single player mode was the foundation of this game.
0 notes
samanthasroberts · 6 years ago
Text
Atomic City, USA: how once-secret Los Alamos became a millionaire’s enclave
Home to the scientists who built the nuclear bomb, the company town of Los Alamos, New Mexico is today one of the richest in the country even as toxic waste threatens its residents and neighbouring Espaola struggles with poverty
Tumblr media
In August 1945, the US army dropped a secret over Japan: fully functional nuclear bombs, which instantly killed tens of thousands of people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. More than 6,000 miles away, meanwhile, in northern New Mexico, one newspaper carried a headline with uniquely local flair.
Now They Can be Told Aloud These Stoories [sic] of the Hill blared a rushed edition of the Santa Fe New Mexican. The article revealed that Los Alamos a mysterious settlement, built atop a picturesque mesa had been instrumental in the creation of these new weapons of mass destruction.
Today, Los Alamos is a secret no longer: its a small community with about 18,000 people living in the main town and a suburb called White Rock. But the nuclear lab remains, and the city is still an island in many ways: an extraordinary pocket of wealth and privilege, surrounded by some of the poorest counties in New Mexico, one of the poorest states in America.
The city is also partly toxic. The nuclear research lab still disposes of radioactive waste, and an underground plume of hexavalent chromium a contaminant linked to increased risks of cancer and made famous by Erin Brockovich has been drifting from the lab. A September 2016 report from the labs environmental management office said it could take more than 20 years and nearly $4bn (3.3bn) to clean up decades-old nuclear waste in the area.
And yet Los Alamos has more millionaires per capita than almost anywhere else in the country.
Instant city
The city has always been unique. During the second world war, Los Alamos was the site of a classified research laboratory, built as part of the Manhattan Project to develop an atomic bomb. Along with Oak Ridge, Tennessee and Hanford, Washington, it was also home to a secret city built to house thousands of scientists, engineers and their families.
It was isolated, and it was also beautiful, which was something [J Robert] Oppenheimer used when he recruited people, says Jon Hunner, professor of history at New Mexico State University, referring to the theoretical physicist who led the Los Alamos lab.
Los Alamoss once secret nuclear history has become a tourist attraction. Photograph: Brooks Saucedo-McQuade
The goal, he explains, had been to build top secret, temporary research facilities in order to keep US nuclear scientists and their work away from prying eyes and ears.
Hunners 2007 book, Inventing Los Alamos, describes the birth of what he calls an instant city. In some ways, the story sounds similar to that of the hundreds of company towns built across the US in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, to provide labour for single industries: mining, coal and logging towns.
Except here the industry was nuclear weapons. And, officially, the town did not exist.
Those who lived in Los Alamos were forbidden to talk about it. The town was not mentioned on drivers licenses, birth certificates, or postal mail. The whole area was surrounded by fences, gates and guards.
Constructed almost overnight, much of the land was simply appropriated from traditional Hispanic homesteaders and Native American communities, as well as an elite private boys school that counted Gore Vidal as one of its famous alumni.
To guard its secret, Los Alamos was built to be almost completely self-contained. There were schools, a hospital, and theatres that doubled as dance halls on Saturdays and churches on Sundays. Housing was allocated according to ones rank at the lab. By the end of the war, it had a population of 6,000.
Everything was run by the Army Corps of Engineers. There were no private businesses in Los Alamos until the 1950s. Nobody could own property. Nobody could own their home, says Hunner. With its focus on the science behind the bomb, he describes it like a university town that was controlled by the military.
It was also shoddily constructed, he says, because it was only supposed to exist during the second world war. But then the cold war with the Soviet Union gave the US nuclear weapons programme, and Los Alamos, a new raison detre. Both were here to stay.
Los Alamos laboratory in the 1950s those who lived and work there had to keep it at secret. Photograph: Jeffrey Markowitz/Sygma via Getty Images
Its a stark example of the 1% and 99%
Today Los Alamos has become one of the richest cities in America. At least one in every nine people a whopping 12% of the population is thought to be a millionaire. Los Alamos also regularly tops the list in terms of the best education and lowest crime levels in the state. It has one of the countrys highest concentration of PhDs.
On the map of New Mexico, Los Alamos county created in 1949 is a tiny dot next to Rio Arriba, one of the largest counties in the state. In Los Alamos, average incomes are twice as high as those in Rio Arriba. A 2012 Census Bureau report said this was one of the largest wealth gaps between two neighbouring counties in America.
Just 30km from this affluent island is the town of Espaola. Here the median household income is $33,000 and almost 30% of the population live under the poverty line. For years it has also struggled with its reputation as the heroin overdose capital of America.
Hunner describes the disparity between Los Alamos and neighbouring towns as almost inevitable. Were really a poor state, he says. So you plop this federally supported research and development lab, where you have to pay people a lot of money to stay there, and of course theres going to be a disparity between the people who live there and the people in Espaola.
But, he adds, a lot of people who live in Espaola work in Los Alamos. In that whole northern New Mexico area, there is a big commute.
Los Alamos, where benefits have been very insular. Photograph: Brooks Saucedo-McQuade
Others see the inequality between Los Alamos and neighbouring communities as a prime example of a common dynamic across the country and a reminder of how stories of wealth trickling down can be far-fetched.
Its a stark example of the proverbial 1% and the other 99%, says Jay Coghlan, sitting in a large reclining chair in the living room of his home in Santa Fe. A 45 minute drive south-east from Los Alamos, his home doubles as an office for Nuclear Watch New Mexico.
Neighbouring communities have not benefited much at all, with the obvious exception that theres jobs, he says. Benefits have been very insular and privileged to the nuclear enclave itself.
The environmental impact of living next door to a nuclear research lab is another sore issue. Some radioactive waste is still disposed of at the labs Area G compound (although this could end next year), and there is still so-called legacy waste, which has not been cleaned up and will take billions of dollars to address. The carcinogenic plume of hexavalent chromium, meanwhile, which was discovered 10 years ago, is migrating towards nearby Native lands and the regional aquifer.
Atomic City, USA
Los Alamos sits on a hill at more than 7,000ft (2,000 metres) above sea level. The single, steep road to the town winds through picturesque northern New Mexico: arid landscape punctuated with desert plants and native American pueblos, with the Jemez mountains in the background.
On a sunny September afternoon, the town is calm and peaceful. A perfectly landscaped and manicured pond is surrounded by a park of bright green grass. A young couple pushes a baby in a stroller.
Inside a supermarket in Los Alamos, there are fine wines on sale along with cigars, stored in a purpose-built humidor. The supermarkets indoor Atomic Bar serves a range of craft beers on tap. Nearby, a small strip mall houses a chocolatier, an acupuncturist, and a sensory deprivation flotation therapy clinic.
In the waiting room at a bank, there is a Sothebys catalogue of luxury real estate in Santa Fe, from where many of the labs better-paid employees commute. A grand new municipal building stands on the side of the main street much larger than one might expect in such a small town.
Sipping a glass of Atomic beer … Photograph: Brooks Saucedo-McQuade
But while Los Alamos is clean and orderly with hints of privilege, its affluence is relatively understated. It doesnt look like one of the richest counties in the state, let alone the country.
Its not old wealth, says Heather McClenahan, executive director of the Los Alamos Historical Society. Its people who work at the lab. And if youve got two people who work at the lab, whove both got six-figure incomes, thats going to generate wealth in your family.
McClenahan has lived here for more than 15 years. Her husband does environmental work at the lab. Its a great place to raise kids, she says. Its a company town. Most families have at least one person working at the laboratory. There are fabulous schools. Its very safe.
And because its a small town, we dont have traffic problems, we dont have a lot of crime.
And yet references to war and nuclear weapons are everywhere. Atomic City Transit buses rumble down roads with names like Oppenheimer Drive and Trinity Street. Atomic City Salsa is on sale at a gift shop in the town centre, along with bumper stickers and playsuits for babies, including one with a mushroom cloud on the front, and the punchline (Ive been dropping BOMBS since Day 1) on the reverse.
Research at the lab today includes fields like climate change, supercomputing and astrophysics. But still nuclear weapons is the dominant subject.
Pete Sheehey, a Los Alamos county councillor, first moved to the town 30 years ago from California while finishing a PhD in physics. He described the community as very dependent on the one lab contract, but said that it is trying to encourage and keep spin-off companies in the area, so there will be more jobs independent of the lab contract. And we are working to increase tourism as well.
Made in Los Alamos. Photograph: Brooks Saucedo-McQuade
Los Alamos is part of the new Manhattan Project National Park, and a new mobile app released by the lab lets users explore the 1940s Atomic City. Already Los Alamos receives tens of thousands of visitors each year to see the place where the atomic bomb was developed, says McClenahan. Some of the biggest numbers are from Russia, Germany and Japan.
McClenahan says Los Alamos has always been conflicted about the impact of the research done here. From the beginning, she says, there were scientists who were so proud of not only the scientific work they did, but of saying We ended world war two. And then there were others who said, We just killed hundreds of thousands of people.
For decades, she adds, there was also a sense of Stay out of our town, were doing top-secret work and you cant come here. But attitudes have changed. Now, she says, people are thinking: How do we bring tourists to our tiny little town?
Espaola: Its complicated
Espaola is a 25 minute drive north-east of Los Alamos. It, too, is a small town, with a population of about 10,000. But, in many respects, it feels a world away from the nuclear island on the hill.
The road into Espaola passes by brightly painted murals and drive-thru fast food restaurants. Other buildings bear hand-painted signs on storefronts, selling animal feed, boots and party supplies for quinceaeras. Boldly coloured low-rider cars, which have become key cultural symbols of this part of New Mexico, rumble down the towns wide roads.
Sheehey, the Los Alamos councillor, says that thousands of people commute to Los Alamos each day from neighbouring communities like this one. Economic benefit is felt throughout the region, he says. Children from outside the county are allowed to attend Los Alamos schools, which still get a federal subsidy and are some of the best public schools in New Mexico.
The lab has also been generous in supporting education and other community programs in Espaola and other neighbouring communities, Sheehey adds. He gives the example of a free bus service through northern New Mexico, funded partly by a Los Alamos county program called Progress through Partnering.
Like many people in Espaola, Patricia Trujillo, 39, says she has always been connected to the lab in some way. When we talk about the company town its much wider than Los Alamos, she says. Its the whole valley.
Two towns divided by extreme wealth and inequality. Photograph: Brooks Saucedo-McQuade
As a child in the late 1980s, Trujillo says she remembers her teachers sending her and her classmates to wait by the side of the road and cheer as new scientific equipment was brought to Los Alamos by truck. They had us sit outside all day long, she says. Instead of getting us to question it, they had us cheering.
Her own grandmother worked in Los Alamos in the 1940s, as a house matron in charge of a dormitory for other women who worked in the then-secret citys households and offices. And Trujillo herself has worked at the lab, including as a technical writer after university.
There are small businesses in Espaola, she says that have also benefited from subcontracts to provide supplies for the lab.
But the word Trujillo chooses to describe Espaolas relationship with Los Alamos is complicated.
Now professor of literature and Chicano studies at Northern New Mexico College in Espaola, and head of the schools equity and diversity program, she explains: A lot of our middle class, our wealthier parents, will drive their kids to Los Alamos county every day, to send them to school there. But then we lose that parent base here.
Trujillo says Los Alamos has supported projects including those to write science curriculum for schools in Espaola. But these efforts have been piecemeal and problematic, she says, doing little to address structural inequalities between the two communities.
There is instead a pervasive hill-valley disparity, Trujillo argues, which impacts imaginations and limits peoples aspirations. The majority of manual labourers come from the Espaola valley … but theres no trickle down, she says. Its a multibillion dollar industry, but unfortunately theres a lot of inequity.
Secrecy, not safety
In Espaolas Valdez Park, Beata Tsosie Pea, 38, is sitting with her young son near a freshly terraced slope where she will soon help plant trees as part of a new community garden.
Pea was born in the nearby Santa Clara pueblo, and is coordinator of the environmental justice programme at Tewa Women United (TWU), a civil society organisation led by indigenous women in the area (Tewa is the name of a native language group). Trujillo is also on the board of TWU.
Pea describes the Los Alamos lab as intertwined with issues of power and injustice from the very beginning. Much of the land for the lab was taken from Native communities in the 1940s, in what she says started with temporary agreements, and understandings that it would be returned after the war.
Los Alamos is on all these sacred sites, ancestral sites. We knew not to develop there, to build there. We would never have done that, because we were put there as caretakers of the water and the land, she said.
There are also concerns about the labs environmental impact on neighbouring communities. Peas organisation is part of the Communities for Clean Water coalition created to monitor Los Alamoss impact on water for drinking, agriculture, sacred ceremonies, and a sustainable future.
The September 2016 report on nuclear waste came from the the labs own environmental management office. The 20-plus years and $4bn clean-up costs were criticised for being likely underestimates.
The [labs] location was chosen for its secrecy, not its safety. And now theres so much money, its seen as an investment they dont want to lose, says Pea, wondering aloud how many of Los Alamoss residents know on whose land they are, and that the privilege of living here comes with responsibility.
But, again, the word she chooses is complicated.
There needs to be a transition to a different mission [for the lab], to things like clean-up technologies, alternative energy, green energy, she argues. Protest groups come here and say Shut it down. But for us, its much more complicated, because our families are economically tied to the lab.
Travel for this story was supported by the Pulitzer Center on Crisis Reporting
Follow Guardian Cities on Twitter and Facebook and join the discussion
Source: http://allofbeer.com/atomic-city-usa-how-once-secret-los-alamos-became-a-millionaires-enclave/
from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/03/23/atomic-city-usa-how-once-secret-los-alamos-became-a-millionaires-enclave/
0 notes
allofbeercom · 6 years ago
Text
Atomic City, USA: how once-secret Los Alamos became a millionaire’s enclave
Home to the scientists who built the nuclear bomb, the company town of Los Alamos, New Mexico is today one of the richest in the country even as toxic waste threatens its residents and neighbouring Espaola struggles with poverty
Tumblr media
In August 1945, the US army dropped a secret over Japan: fully functional nuclear bombs, which instantly killed tens of thousands of people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. More than 6,000 miles away, meanwhile, in northern New Mexico, one newspaper carried a headline with uniquely local flair.
Now They Can be Told Aloud These Stoories [sic] of the Hill blared a rushed edition of the Santa Fe New Mexican. The article revealed that Los Alamos a mysterious settlement, built atop a picturesque mesa had been instrumental in the creation of these new weapons of mass destruction.
Today, Los Alamos is a secret no longer: its a small community with about 18,000 people living in the main town and a suburb called White Rock. But the nuclear lab remains, and the city is still an island in many ways: an extraordinary pocket of wealth and privilege, surrounded by some of the poorest counties in New Mexico, one of the poorest states in America.
The city is also partly toxic. The nuclear research lab still disposes of radioactive waste, and an underground plume of hexavalent chromium a contaminant linked to increased risks of cancer and made famous by Erin Brockovich has been drifting from the lab. A September 2016 report from the labs environmental management office said it could take more than 20 years and nearly $4bn (3.3bn) to clean up decades-old nuclear waste in the area.
And yet Los Alamos has more millionaires per capita than almost anywhere else in the country.
Instant city
The city has always been unique. During the second world war, Los Alamos was the site of a classified research laboratory, built as part of the Manhattan Project to develop an atomic bomb. Along with Oak Ridge, Tennessee and Hanford, Washington, it was also home to a secret city built to house thousands of scientists, engineers and their families.
It was isolated, and it was also beautiful, which was something [J Robert] Oppenheimer used when he recruited people, says Jon Hunner, professor of history at New Mexico State University, referring to the theoretical physicist who led the Los Alamos lab.
Los Alamoss once secret nuclear history has become a tourist attraction. Photograph: Brooks Saucedo-McQuade
The goal, he explains, had been to build top secret, temporary research facilities in order to keep US nuclear scientists and their work away from prying eyes and ears.
Hunners 2007 book, Inventing Los Alamos, describes the birth of what he calls an instant city. In some ways, the story sounds similar to that of the hundreds of company towns built across the US in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, to provide labour for single industries: mining, coal and logging towns.
Except here the industry was nuclear weapons. And, officially, the town did not exist.
Those who lived in Los Alamos were forbidden to talk about it. The town was not mentioned on drivers licenses, birth certificates, or postal mail. The whole area was surrounded by fences, gates and guards.
Constructed almost overnight, much of the land was simply appropriated from traditional Hispanic homesteaders and Native American communities, as well as an elite private boys school that counted Gore Vidal as one of its famous alumni.
To guard its secret, Los Alamos was built to be almost completely self-contained. There were schools, a hospital, and theatres that doubled as dance halls on Saturdays and churches on Sundays. Housing was allocated according to ones rank at the lab. By the end of the war, it had a population of 6,000.
Everything was run by the Army Corps of Engineers. There were no private businesses in Los Alamos until the 1950s. Nobody could own property. Nobody could own their home, says Hunner. With its focus on the science behind the bomb, he describes it like a university town that was controlled by the military.
It was also shoddily constructed, he says, because it was only supposed to exist during the second world war. But then the cold war with the Soviet Union gave the US nuclear weapons programme, and Los Alamos, a new raison detre. Both were here to stay.
Los Alamos laboratory in the 1950s those who lived and work there had to keep it at secret. Photograph: Jeffrey Markowitz/Sygma via Getty Images
Its a stark example of the 1% and 99%
Today Los Alamos has become one of the richest cities in America. At least one in every nine people a whopping 12% of the population is thought to be a millionaire. Los Alamos also regularly tops the list in terms of the best education and lowest crime levels in the state. It has one of the countrys highest concentration of PhDs.
On the map of New Mexico, Los Alamos county created in 1949 is a tiny dot next to Rio Arriba, one of the largest counties in the state. In Los Alamos, average incomes are twice as high as those in Rio Arriba. A 2012 Census Bureau report said this was one of the largest wealth gaps between two neighbouring counties in America.
Just 30km from this affluent island is the town of Espaola. Here the median household income is $33,000 and almost 30% of the population live under the poverty line. For years it has also struggled with its reputation as the heroin overdose capital of America.
Hunner describes the disparity between Los Alamos and neighbouring towns as almost inevitable. Were really a poor state, he says. So you plop this federally supported research and development lab, where you have to pay people a lot of money to stay there, and of course theres going to be a disparity between the people who live there and the people in Espaola.
But, he adds, a lot of people who live in Espaola work in Los Alamos. In that whole northern New Mexico area, there is a big commute.
Los Alamos, where benefits have been very insular. Photograph: Brooks Saucedo-McQuade
Others see the inequality between Los Alamos and neighbouring communities as a prime example of a common dynamic across the country and a reminder of how stories of wealth trickling down can be far-fetched.
Its a stark example of the proverbial 1% and the other 99%, says Jay Coghlan, sitting in a large reclining chair in the living room of his home in Santa Fe. A 45 minute drive south-east from Los Alamos, his home doubles as an office for Nuclear Watch New Mexico.
Neighbouring communities have not benefited much at all, with the obvious exception that theres jobs, he says. Benefits have been very insular and privileged to the nuclear enclave itself.
The environmental impact of living next door to a nuclear research lab is another sore issue. Some radioactive waste is still disposed of at the labs Area G compound (although this could end next year), and there is still so-called legacy waste, which has not been cleaned up and will take billions of dollars to address. The carcinogenic plume of hexavalent chromium, meanwhile, which was discovered 10 years ago, is migrating towards nearby Native lands and the regional aquifer.
Atomic City, USA
Los Alamos sits on a hill at more than 7,000ft (2,000 metres) above sea level. The single, steep road to the town winds through picturesque northern New Mexico: arid landscape punctuated with desert plants and native American pueblos, with the Jemez mountains in the background.
On a sunny September afternoon, the town is calm and peaceful. A perfectly landscaped and manicured pond is surrounded by a park of bright green grass. A young couple pushes a baby in a stroller.
Inside a supermarket in Los Alamos, there are fine wines on sale along with cigars, stored in a purpose-built humidor. The supermarkets indoor Atomic Bar serves a range of craft beers on tap. Nearby, a small strip mall houses a chocolatier, an acupuncturist, and a sensory deprivation flotation therapy clinic.
In the waiting room at a bank, there is a Sothebys catalogue of luxury real estate in Santa Fe, from where many of the labs better-paid employees commute. A grand new municipal building stands on the side of the main street much larger than one might expect in such a small town.
Sipping a glass of Atomic beer … Photograph: Brooks Saucedo-McQuade
But while Los Alamos is clean and orderly with hints of privilege, its affluence is relatively understated. It doesnt look like one of the richest counties in the state, let alone the country.
Its not old wealth, says Heather McClenahan, executive director of the Los Alamos Historical Society. Its people who work at the lab. And if youve got two people who work at the lab, whove both got six-figure incomes, thats going to generate wealth in your family.
McClenahan has lived here for more than 15 years. Her husband does environmental work at the lab. Its a great place to raise kids, she says. Its a company town. Most families have at least one person working at the laboratory. There are fabulous schools. Its very safe.
And because its a small town, we dont have traffic problems, we dont have a lot of crime.
And yet references to war and nuclear weapons are everywhere. Atomic City Transit buses rumble down roads with names like Oppenheimer Drive and Trinity Street. Atomic City Salsa is on sale at a gift shop in the town centre, along with bumper stickers and playsuits for babies, including one with a mushroom cloud on the front, and the punchline (Ive been dropping BOMBS since Day 1) on the reverse.
Research at the lab today includes fields like climate change, supercomputing and astrophysics. But still nuclear weapons is the dominant subject.
Pete Sheehey, a Los Alamos county councillor, first moved to the town 30 years ago from California while finishing a PhD in physics. He described the community as very dependent on the one lab contract, but said that it is trying to encourage and keep spin-off companies in the area, so there will be more jobs independent of the lab contract. And we are working to increase tourism as well.
Made in Los Alamos. Photograph: Brooks Saucedo-McQuade
Los Alamos is part of the new Manhattan Project National Park, and a new mobile app released by the lab lets users explore the 1940s Atomic City. Already Los Alamos receives tens of thousands of visitors each year to see the place where the atomic bomb was developed, says McClenahan. Some of the biggest numbers are from Russia, Germany and Japan.
McClenahan says Los Alamos has always been conflicted about the impact of the research done here. From the beginning, she says, there were scientists who were so proud of not only the scientific work they did, but of saying We ended world war two. And then there were others who said, We just killed hundreds of thousands of people.
For decades, she adds, there was also a sense of Stay out of our town, were doing top-secret work and you cant come here. But attitudes have changed. Now, she says, people are thinking: How do we bring tourists to our tiny little town?
Espaola: Its complicated
Espaola is a 25 minute drive north-east of Los Alamos. It, too, is a small town, with a population of about 10,000. But, in many respects, it feels a world away from the nuclear island on the hill.
The road into Espaola passes by brightly painted murals and drive-thru fast food restaurants. Other buildings bear hand-painted signs on storefronts, selling animal feed, boots and party supplies for quinceaeras. Boldly coloured low-rider cars, which have become key cultural symbols of this part of New Mexico, rumble down the towns wide roads.
Sheehey, the Los Alamos councillor, says that thousands of people commute to Los Alamos each day from neighbouring communities like this one. Economic benefit is felt throughout the region, he says. Children from outside the county are allowed to attend Los Alamos schools, which still get a federal subsidy and are some of the best public schools in New Mexico.
The lab has also been generous in supporting education and other community programs in Espaola and other neighbouring communities, Sheehey adds. He gives the example of a free bus service through northern New Mexico, funded partly by a Los Alamos county program called Progress through Partnering.
Like many people in Espaola, Patricia Trujillo, 39, says she has always been connected to the lab in some way. When we talk about the company town its much wider than Los Alamos, she says. Its the whole valley.
Two towns divided by extreme wealth and inequality. Photograph: Brooks Saucedo-McQuade
As a child in the late 1980s, Trujillo says she remembers her teachers sending her and her classmates to wait by the side of the road and cheer as new scientific equipment was brought to Los Alamos by truck. They had us sit outside all day long, she says. Instead of getting us to question it, they had us cheering.
Her own grandmother worked in Los Alamos in the 1940s, as a house matron in charge of a dormitory for other women who worked in the then-secret citys households and offices. And Trujillo herself has worked at the lab, including as a technical writer after university.
There are small businesses in Espaola, she says that have also benefited from subcontracts to provide supplies for the lab.
But the word Trujillo chooses to describe Espaolas relationship with Los Alamos is complicated.
Now professor of literature and Chicano studies at Northern New Mexico College in Espaola, and head of the schools equity and diversity program, she explains: A lot of our middle class, our wealthier parents, will drive their kids to Los Alamos county every day, to send them to school there. But then we lose that parent base here.
Trujillo says Los Alamos has supported projects including those to write science curriculum for schools in Espaola. But these efforts have been piecemeal and problematic, she says, doing little to address structural inequalities between the two communities.
There is instead a pervasive hill-valley disparity, Trujillo argues, which impacts imaginations and limits peoples aspirations. The majority of manual labourers come from the Espaola valley … but theres no trickle down, she says. Its a multibillion dollar industry, but unfortunately theres a lot of inequity.
Secrecy, not safety
In Espaolas Valdez Park, Beata Tsosie Pea, 38, is sitting with her young son near a freshly terraced slope where she will soon help plant trees as part of a new community garden.
Pea was born in the nearby Santa Clara pueblo, and is coordinator of the environmental justice programme at Tewa Women United (TWU), a civil society organisation led by indigenous women in the area (Tewa is the name of a native language group). Trujillo is also on the board of TWU.
Pea describes the Los Alamos lab as intertwined with issues of power and injustice from the very beginning. Much of the land for the lab was taken from Native communities in the 1940s, in what she says started with temporary agreements, and understandings that it would be returned after the war.
Los Alamos is on all these sacred sites, ancestral sites. We knew not to develop there, to build there. We would never have done that, because we were put there as caretakers of the water and the land, she said.
There are also concerns about the labs environmental impact on neighbouring communities. Peas organisation is part of the Communities for Clean Water coalition created to monitor Los Alamoss impact on water for drinking, agriculture, sacred ceremonies, and a sustainable future.
The September 2016 report on nuclear waste came from the the labs own environmental management office. The 20-plus years and $4bn clean-up costs were criticised for being likely underestimates.
The [labs] location was chosen for its secrecy, not its safety. And now theres so much money, its seen as an investment they dont want to lose, says Pea, wondering aloud how many of Los Alamoss residents know on whose land they are, and that the privilege of living here comes with responsibility.
But, again, the word she chooses is complicated.
There needs to be a transition to a different mission [for the lab], to things like clean-up technologies, alternative energy, green energy, she argues. Protest groups come here and say Shut it down. But for us, its much more complicated, because our families are economically tied to the lab.
Travel for this story was supported by the Pulitzer Center on Crisis Reporting
Follow Guardian Cities on Twitter and Facebook and join the discussion
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/atomic-city-usa-how-once-secret-los-alamos-became-a-millionaires-enclave/
0 notes
mintyyprince · 7 years ago
Note
1-100
Tumblr media
hey i love u
is there a boy/girl in your life? yeah i know a bunch of guys gals and nonbinary palsthink of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? fuck nowhat do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” thiswhats something you really want right now? something sweet tbh ive been wanting to make macaroons for two weeks but i keep forgetting to get ingredients at the storeare you afraid of falling in love? kindado you like the beach? i like sitting on the beach and reading, playing with the sand, and laying in floaties in the water, but i am terrified of both crabs and not seeing whats underwater. its not funhave you ever slept on a couch with someone else? to nap yeawhats the background on your cell? this tho i want to make a katsuki aes name the last four beds you were sat on? i.. was sat on?? thats very different from sat ondo you like your phone? yeahonestly, are things going the way you planned? not at allwho was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? i dont call or text much dudewould you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? BOTH i love all dogswhich hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? ??? there is no more painful, just painfulwould you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? i was about to say art museum but then i remembered ib and i got spooked. still saying art museum.are you tired? alwayshow long have you known your first phone contact? awhileare they a relative? probablywould you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? no theyre exes for a reasonwhen did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? uhhh when he lied about moving to another country to avoid me :^)if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? id platonically marry a handful of friends if i could. blows a kiss their waywould you kiss the last person you kissed again? if all the times i platonically say “smooches” to then absolutelyhow many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? four if u include my watchis there a certain quote you live by? sorta?? and if theres anything im really feeling i just make it my dicord statuswhats on your mind? deathdo you have any tattoos? i wishwhat is your favorite color? blue!!next time you will kiss someone on the lips? nghwho are you texting? no one i dont want to talk rnthink to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? ,,,yea?? these last person u kissed questions are cursedhave you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? some call it intuition i call it anxietydo you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? yeado you think anyone has feelings for you? nO i assume everyone hates me or eventually will and it feels conceited to think otherwisehas anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? yes theyre a cool greysay the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? stare at him all judgmentally and turn away he means Nothing to mewere you single on valentines day? this past february yeah and im in no rush to change thatare you friends with the last person you kissed? fuck nowhat do your friends call you? my name... i have kin nicknames but not much other than that tbhhas anyone upset you in the last week? oh definitelyhave you ever cried over a text? who hasntwheres your last bruise located? anklewhat is it from? bumped into the staircase bc i was fawning over my dog..last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? nowwho was the last person you were on the phone with? i cant remember whether it was hajime or kokodo you have a favorite pair of shoes? yeah my combat boots!! do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? yes and i love them would you ever go bald if it was the style? no.do you make supper for your family? i barely make myself breakfast or lunch do u really want to trust me with thisdoes your bedroom have a door? yes and im so sorry to anyone who said no u deserve bettertop three web-pages? apparently my most visited sites are tumblr pixiv and the site for my schooldo you know anyone who hates shopping? my brotherdoes anything on your body hurt? chest and head // phantom aches in legs and neckare goodbyes hard for you? unless im rly attached to the person nowhat was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? its been awhile i cant rememberhow is your hair? its good, how are you??what do you usually do first in the morning? check my phone and scroll until i fully wake updo you think two people can last forever? with enough trust and communication surethink back to January 2007, were you single? i was seven so yeahgreen or purple grapes? purple and i will stand by thiswhens the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? if i could see my friends in person then id give them the biggest hug uve ever seendo you wish you were somewhere else right now? yeahwhen will be the next time you text someone? im wondering the same thing my dudewhere will you be five hours from now? probably outside walking my dogwhat were you doing at eight this morning? sleepingthis time last year, can you remember who you liked? this guy juan.. he was a dickis there one person in your life that can always make you smile? yeah!! all my friends!!did you kiss or hug anyone today? unless all the times i say “smooches” count then no and id rather keep it that waywhat was your last thought before you went to bed last night? i was super suicidal so have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? try every dayhow many windows are open on your computer? sweats loudlyhow many fingers do you have? t..ten?what is your ringtone? im so sorryhow old will you be in five months? eighteen!!where is your mom right now? floridawhy arent you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? he was a dickhave you held hands with somebody in the past three days? no and id rather keep it that way. hand holding is so awkward for meare you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? some yeah!! do you remember who you had a crush on in year seven? oh boy my stand partner in orchestra.. he was also a dickis there anyone you know with the name mike? YEAH i love mikehave you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? yeah it was nicehow many people have you liked in the past three months? none romanticallyhas anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? n..nowill you talk to the person you like tonight? maybeyoure drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? satan apparently this goes against every last one of my moralsif your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? id be concerned yeahwhat was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? my grandma took a huge bite of wasabi tearily then said she didnt like “the green stuff”who was your last received call from? an unknown numberif someone gave you a thousand dollars to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? id probably agree bc its a thousand dollars man but cry and look away the whole timewhat is something you wish you had more of? confidence.. money... love..... i could go on i feel very unfulfilled rnhave you ever trusted someone too much? i trust people far too easily so yeahdo you sleep with your window open? nEVER dont let the bugs indo you get along with girls? i love girlsare you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? id hope notdoes sex mean love? hell noyoure locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? hed be in quite a picklehave you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? nodid you sleep alone this week? yeaheverybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? i have a few things i cling to but in general not reallydo you believe in love at first sight? i believe u can be attracted to someone at first sight but love is accepting and caring for a person after seeing every side of them, so imo u cant love a strangerwho was the last person that you pinky promise? if u mean a literal pinky promise i have no clue but probably my sister
1 note · View note