#ive been trying really hard to actually start accepting and defend my disability and try not to hide so much

[kurv4]

.

[flameontheotherside]

Moving On

I was reminded by my mom's message about getting in a fight with Dan and got kicked out again. Yeah, I hate her and I haven't really gotten over her but I feel completely helpless. 😣 Her TF is the very asshole who is crazy enough to walk around Publix with a kitchen knife. He's insane. I actually got in a physical altercation with him a while back for hitting me. Yes, he hit me first. Yeah I learned to defend myself. So yeah I can't fight but I will only if I need to. Reminds me I need to take karate for self defense in the case that happens again.

So I happen to be in the same situation except Vince isn't that cruel. 😁 My mom will be fine. I have to suck it up and look for myself. Lease is up and ive got a little bit of fire under my ass. I have to put my big girl pants on and put my pride away and just do it. Just accept help and move on. Well, I got my old job back but I can't save anything because Vince is on top of every bit of money we get. I'm not getting as much business now so I can't rely on my "psychic" work. Well I'm not that confident but people seem to like me so I must be doing something right? I have a hard time for myself. Mainly I guess I'm confident doing work for others but giving myself a reading is almost impossible. I don't like knowing the future. It scares me. I triggers anxiety and I get all uppity when psychics or when I try myself. I rather watch live 📺 TV. LOL

Since I'm "disabled"

... Fucking hate that word. I'm not disabled but, medical records beg otherwise. Yaaaay... But that means I have to apply for disability which is a horrible process and try to get housing. I have two cats. Odin goes where I go and he's kind of a spoiled brat. He's like a son to me. I will NOT part with him as he's a support animal and I'm afraid he won't be qualified. It will kill me. Like right now he's purring on my chest because my blood pressure is high (anxiety). He always does this and it helps. Freya, well she's kind of a special needs cat and I don't trust anyone to properly care for her.

I logged in my Facebook and noticed a guy I kinda had a crush on had his first child with a girl friend of mine. Online of course... And of course here I am living with an asshole who wouldn't be able to produce a child or CARE for one. Based on how he treats "our" cats he wouldn't be a good father. Thought that by now I'd be married and with children. Great, now I'm depressed. I know it sounds like I'm being a baby. So I'm just going to end it here.

Netflix N Chill

OK call it an autism thing.😇 But I didn't know it was a metaphor for: 😜 Come over and have sex.

Totally went over my head. Anyway so I was watching The Office for the cute Jim and Pam stuff. I may have found a new obsession. Lmao 😂 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 If you like psychological thriller stuff, it's good. I basically watch for the Joe character. Hahaha don't ask me why. It's called "You" Erik is making fun of me because im blushing. 🤣👌🏼Well what do you want? What's not to like besides being a serial killer?... Nothing 😅 I may have hit a new low if I'm ogling over a character. Have you seen it? Another good one is "Lovesick" British show. Not at good as... Ahem. *in squeeky voice* He's really good looking. It been a long time since I've seen that. *clears through*.

It's really cold. Why does Vince need to mess with the a/c if he's complaining about being broke. Then yells at me for forgetting to turn a light off. You know, he just might be the driving force to GTFO before the lease is up. I'm not joking.

😘 💞 💕 ❤️ I need to put out the fire under my ass lmao!

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and shit. channelingerik.com.

Submit a Twin Flame reading for free at TwinFlameMedium.Com and I provide detailed and lengthy readings starting at $5 per question at Store.TwinFlameMedium.Com

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[simptasia]

ive been fucked up about something the last couple of days. i’ve been feeling a lot of things: anger, sadness, incredulity and denial. like, that denial you get like “it’s okay now, we’re passed it. it’s gonna be fine. it’s just one person”

and i was gonna wait until we finally moved to do this but... no, i can’t

like okay, i need to explain what happened for y’all to get it... okay so, in short, i was... on the 7th of june 2017, that’s two days ago now, two days ago i was on the receiving end of ableist discrimination. because i’m autistic

it’s a long story and i can’t give you every detail, because it’s been days of phone calls with lots of people, but i’ll tell you what you need to know

my mum and i are moving, in fact, we’re buying a house. and this requires lots of paper work and real estate people and lawyers. i’m required to go to every meeting that needs my signature. this has been going on a couple of months now. and yeah, it’s been hard for me, i have chronic fatigue and this has been messing with my sleep patterns. but i’ve been doing it. when i want something bad enough, i will do it. it’s important. i understand what i’m doing

so two days ago, after like 98% of the work has been done (like, seriously we are so close to getting our house) we got a phone call from one of our conveyancers. that’s south australian for “real estate lawyer”. i know her full name but i don’t wanna start shit, so i’ll just call her first name: jade

oh, thanks for ruining one of my future daughter’s names, you FUCK

okay focus sapphire.

she called us a week after we’d met her and had our meeting with her. during which i signed papers. remember that now. also remember that i have been signing papers for almost 2 months now. (during this meeting she was really rude to me but i didn’t mind at the time because that’s tolerate as long as she does her job. i just want my house) anyways jade calls us, saying we’re now suddenly required to supply a doctor’s note proving im of “sound mind”

see, between the meeting and this phone call, jade rung us asking us to go back for another meeting and my mum explained that due to being autistic i get fatigued and that makes it difficult for me to go back and forth to her office several times a week. she wasn’t trying to get me out of it, she was just explaining the situation. so that’s why mum told her i’m autistic. and really why not? there was no reason to to be afraid. to think any of this would happen

and based upon that, this woman made a judgement about me. she wanted proof that i was capable of thinking for myself. for understanding what i’m doing

at first, we were baffled and angry. in fact, i lost my shit. we immediately recognised that this was wrong and absurd

later that day, on the 7th, we went to disability SA to ask if this is something that normally happens. we met a lovely woman named jackie. when we told her about this phone call, she was horrified. she told us this is not something that happens. in fact, she’s never heard of this happening. and for the first time in my life, in that office, i felt what it’s like to have an authority figure on my side

lemme explain something: what was being asked of me is proof of “capacity of mind”, as jackie puts it. and such a thing requires a lengthy process with medical professionals and tribunals. jackie also told me that if mum and i were ever to go to one of these things, they’d think it’s absurd that i’m even there

basically, a GP who barely knows me cannot determine my capacity of mind. and, here’s the most important thing, a fucking real estate lawyer has no right to hear the word “autism” and immediately make the judgement that i’m incapable of signing papers. which is something i did right in front of her. in fact, nobody has that right, ya know why? because it’s discrimination. it’s prejudice. 

it’s ableism

and i honestly think a person like this should not have a say in who does and doesn’t not get a house. somebody who hits the internal panic button when anything to do with neurodivergence and disability comes up. it was her job to make this easier for us and she made it nothing but harder

jackie called jade and she had a very long conversation with jade. asking for the justification for this discrimination. and asking for proof that this company has a policy about people like me. jade could not provide this because this company has no such policy. we found out later from phone calls to other companies and the head of the conveyancers that NONE OF THEM HAVE THIS POLICY

there’s no legal basis for this. the head of the conveyancers, the bank manager, the real estate agent: they were confused and horrified too. they were appalled. every person we’ve talked to has pointed out that this is wrong. actually: illegal

so this wasn’t a fault in the system, this was the prejudice of one person

jackie is a patient person and i could hear her getting frustrated with this jade on the phone. we didn’t hear any of jade’s part of the call, just jackies. but it was very clear what was going on. she refused to listen to jackie, she kept talking over her, she could provide no legal basis for these actions. and she felt (she kept beginning her justifications with “i feel...”) that an autistic person should provide proof that they’re of “sound mind” aka that we have capacity of mind

jackie, my bloody hero, tried her best. explaining things calmly, with all the right words. explaining that i don’t have an intellectual disability or acquired brain damage. and she asked the big question: would you do this for everybody?

would she should have done this with anybody? somebody who’s neurotypical?

if i wasn’t autistic, would i have been treated this way? no. i wouldn’t have

she said if i didn’t get a doctor’s certificate, she wasn’t gonna let us continue. translation: “give me a piece of paper that proves you can think for yourself or you don’t get a house.” later, she gave us a condition, that it could go ahead, as long as my name wasn’t on it. (because apparently my name means nothing)

is the utter absurdity of this clear to you?

in her view, i wasn’t of “sound mind” to own a property

and yes, we could’ve just grit our teeth and got the note. but we had to consult some other people about this first and turns out! this isn’t fucking legal! and yes, i still could’ve got the note but the point is: i shouldn’t have to

i was targeted by a single person’s prejudice

i’m actually kinda relieved, because if it was company policy, i would’ve been so sad for any other neurodivergent and disabled people who want to own a home

like, think about the neurodivergent people out there who are nonverbal. or have some other kind of communication issues. or whatever. for example, we have a friend who has schizophrenia and she owns a home. (before we found out otherwise, we’d wondered if our friend had been subjected to this too) 

do our people not have a right to own a home?? EVERY HUMAN BEING HAS THE RIGHT TO HAVE A HOME. but not to somebody like jade, i guess to her people like me don’t deserve it. we’re not capable. we’re not of “sound mind”

because she heard the word “autistic”, she decided i didn’t deserve what every human being has a basic right to. or at least, should have a right to

if you do all the work that’s required of you to get a home, like i have done, then that is you earning the right to own that home. i understand what i’m doing

i feel like... i’ve been treated less than human

and it’s been a long time since that last happened. it was like one of the ableist bullies i meet online, or went to school with... got a job as an authority figure. she’s a lawyer. she makes decisions for other people’s lives. that’s horrifying.

seeing jackie defend me so beautifully, so brilliantly on the phone was an amazing thing to see. brought me to tears. during my life, i’ve had two people defending me: my mum and me. it’s been us against the whole world

but being in disability SA, it’s like entering another world. a world where people like me are treated like people. i’m a person, gosh damn it! i’m a person...

i never thought i’d see somebody in a position of a authority, somebody who works for the government, defend me. care about me. want to help me.

so, yeah, we’re all friends now

anyways this story has a happy ending. because after all this, we accepted that we’d have to keep working with these people. let me be clear, we’ve very close to getting this house. we didn’t want to start all over. and pulling out with jade, we still would’ve had to pay her. (literally thousands of dollars) so, i was prepared to go my doctor’s office and get that godforsaken note.

(i betcha anything if i did, the doctor would’ve been terribly confused because THIS ISN’T A STANDARD TYPICAL THING THAT HAPPENS IN OUR WORLD)

but yesterday, this is amazing: jade... fired us. she said she refused to work with us for how “impolite and disrespectful” we’ve been to her. (yeah, she’s learnt nothing and refuses to learn anything) and we don’t have to pay her anything!

because it turns out, the head of the conveyancers had a stern chat with jade. you’re not allowed to treat clients this way. and being smart people who want to avoid serious trouble, they waved jade’s fees.

long story short: new lawyer, new company, don’t even have to start all over again. everything we’ve done has been transferred. we’re gonna be fine. better in fact, these new people are cheaper. and we made a friend at disability SA

so, all in all, blessing in disguise

but ya know, still incredibly hurtful and offensive. so what’s the lesson here? this kind of behaviour should never, ever be tolerated. it’s dehumanizing

and with luck, fighting back can get you into a better situation

thank you for your time