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blackgirlblues · 5 years

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Being A Black Girl: And Chasing Your Dreams.. Yikes.

Hi,

It’s me, your resident black girl back with some new shit to rant about. I’ve been posting a few screenshots of short poems and paragraphs I’ve been writing on my phone as a way to heal and get over Capricorn boy from my last post on here and I see you guys like and reblog. Thank you for showing love, although it makes me sad that so many of you seem to be going through the same range of emotions I am. I’m sorry.

I know it’s a lonely place to be in.

But, on the bright side, I’ve got a lot of new followers joining the diary/manual/rant page that is blackgirlology and it’s nice cause I think it’s becoming a little bit of a community. So, in a way, were never really going through any of these emotions alone. If you’ve found this page-you’re part of a community. Bask in it.

Anyways, that aside, a lot has happened since I last spoke to you. I don’t know if any of you may remember, and for some new people this will be a surprise. But I’m actually a singer songwriter from Ireland. Moved to London a year and a half ago to pursue my music dream and that’s how I met Capricorn boy whos been the source of all my poems.

Throughout this time in between, I’ve been trying to chase my dreams, and chase them relentlessly. and this summer i did just that, let me tell you, what im about to tell you guys, is to put it simply, wild. I’ll just cut to the chase.

It all started in July. I’d been in London for quite a long time now, over a year and now have a manager who’s my best friend first and foremost. We’ll call her Maya. I met her in my first week of moving to London in the student halls I was staying at and we became best friends pretty quick. She studies music business, so it made sense and she just naturally ended up taking up the role as my music manager. Shes seen everything. The songs I wrote about Capricorn boy, the tears, everything. And she saw everything this summer.

I saw an ad for a record label opportunity in London. It was advertised on my university facebook page; a new indie label, looking for demo submissions for a competition they were setting up to find their new signee. I sent a screenshot to Maya who agreed I should send my stuff in. I did, they liked it, I got a meeting, we were sent terms and conditions for the competition. We signed it, the rest was supposed to be history.

Big yikes.

There’s so many layers to this story that I will be shortening it, just because it can get very draining for me to talk about or even write about. I’ve healed from it i think, but I still want to put it here and write it about to finally close that chapter and be done with my feelings about what happened to me and my music.

Basically, the whole competition, the record label, the dickhead CEO, it was all a scam. I had accidentally signed away the master rights to my new song to a record label started by a fake CEO who was committing fraud and known for tricking young artists into handing over their master rights so he could profit off of them, for power.

It was a mess. Another contestant told me and Maya when we were outside of their office. Just minutes before we were under the impression that I was doing an interview for Billboard Magazine. Honestly, I never truly believed it. Shit was too good to be true.

But she told us everything. How he was actually a run away from Spain, where he was caught and exposed for doing the exact same thing to artists there, how he didn’t have any money to fund the competition he had somehow roped all of us into, how he was illegally avoiding paying his team, how none of the creatives we had collaborated with for photoshoots etc were paid, how everything was a lie, how he didnt have any connections, and how he was trying to convince me specifically to sign a 360 deal with his label.

Which, guys, I’m not stupid. After the first week of being with the label for the competition and letting my song live through their disastrous marketing campaign, Maya and I long decided that regardless of what they said, I would not under any circumstances be signing anything with any entity of their company.

After being told the truth, I had to sit down. You see, when I came across this opportunity, I thought this was finally the life I’d been manifesting coming true. I had begun to grow in my spirituality and start journaling, writing down my manifestations, and getting to work with a record label who would later offer me a fair contract before I turn 20 was one of the manifestations I had written down every night before I went to bed. However, what I’d gotten was the exact opposite.

I remember, me, Maya, and 2 of the girls from the competition all stood around in a circle outside of their new office that the CEO also hadnt paid for wondering what our next move would be with this new information. There was still 2 other contestants inside who had no idea what was really going on was an elaborate scam. One of them wanted to go in and expose them on the spot. I said no, we had to go in and pretend like everything was normal until we figured out what to do afterwards.

So in I went, plastering the fakest smile on my face and pretended like I still thought I was about to be speaking with Billboard Magazine. Once I got out, I broke down in Maya’s arms.

I went home to my flatmates, Ellie and Bea and cried for hours before I had to go work a 7 hour shift at a pizza place.

I stayed in bed, and cried, and cried. and cried again. I didn’t get out of bed unless I needed too. The only people I talked too were my flatmates E and B and Maya.

Everything was sorted out eventually, a lot more happened, but as I’ve been writing this article for you guys, I realised that all of that stuff is no longer relevant to my journey and isnt something I want to bring back into my energetic circle because I’ve made peace with the fact that a lot of people who betrayed me when I was at my lowest, peace with the fact that these contestants who wanted to “work together” to get out of this mess, actually wanted to save their own asses and leave me in the cold.

But I still got out of it and I’m still here.

I nearly got sued by a man with less than 20 pound to his company account online, but hey, I’m here.

I guess why I’m telling you guys this really short account of my summer is to both record it for myself but also to say its okay to flop, its okay to fail. I did both this summer. and thank god i did. it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

following your dreams is scary, doing it as a black girl is terrifying because society has already kind of set you up to fail. there’s already misconceptions about what you do, who you are, where you come from and how good you’re going to be at what you do. its almost like we cant fail and we need to work 10 times harder to obtain half of what the average white person will get. and sometimes it can feel like we dont have any space to fail or make mistakes because of this but let me tell you thats not true.

if anything, the universe will put you in places that will force you to grow through the mistakes you make. and thats exactly what happened to me this summer.

i chased my dream so relentlessly i ended up in an environment i thought i manifested, i thought was good for me, only for the universe to show me that that specific environment i’d been wishing to be in is the furthest from what i need right now in my life.

this so called failure showed me that not everybody who smiles can be trusted, and that people can be way more deceiving than i ever thought, especially when push comes to shove and they need to save themselves. you start to see the real them when it starts to get tense. the people who seem to be around you when you’re doing good will most likely dissapear when things start to go south, including some of your oldest friends. you will get radio silence on their end. be upset. cry. but after that be glad that this situation revealed their true colours.

and then never put any more energy into them again.

this failure showed me how fucking strong i am. how resilient and kind i am even in the face of disrespect and actual evil. it showed me how much i can care for someone who i believe is at a risk of losing it all, and showed me that this will not always be reciprocated. and for a while i thought that meant that i had to harden myself up and grow a shell. but i dont think so. i will not allow the things ive been through to make me into a hard person when i was born soft. i mean now, im a little rough around the edges, jagged enough to cut anyone who comes too close with some of that bad energy, but soft enough to hold myself tight and glue myself back together when i need to. soft enough to hold the people who held me this summer. soft enough to help people who i know deserve it.

im a good person in a shitty world, i don’t need to match the world and become a shitty person to survive.

after all of this happened, i stopped writing music.

i haven’t written anything properly or produced anything in months and sometimes i get worried that ive completely lost my talent. but thats another thing that this failure taught me, i can never truly lose whats meant to be mine. i know that i was put on this earth to create change, to inspire, to be an activist and a voice for people who dont have one. i know i was put here to do it through a creative medium and right now i still think that is music.

i think i just need to stop being so scared to start again, to learn my craft again.

i used to be so scared of failure but now i am so thankful for it and the lessons its taught me. i had so much hurt and pain and hatred in my heart for the universe for, in my head, doing this to me. but then i realised that the universe never does anything to you, it does it for you. all of this happened in my best interest and while i definitely didnt understand at the time, i get it now.

thank you universe for the worst summer of my life.

and my black ass will be continuing to chase my dreams relentlessly, failing, tripping and falling on my ass until i get to the very top.

besides, if everything had just gone right, that wouldnt have been very interesting, would it?

#blackgirlology #black girl #black power #black love #black blogger #Black Blogs #music #blog #blogger #journal #journaling #diary entry #diary of a black girl #diary #dear diary #tumblr diary #dreams

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shibyn · 5 years

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and the wind sounds like the world’s sigh

persona 4 & 5 | shiho-centric, investigation team Near the end of May, Shiho transfers to a sleepy town called Inaba for a fresh start. However, Inaba isn’t the sleepy town her parents thought would be best for her— its on edge with unsolved mysteries, and Shiho finds that there’s a bit more behind what meets the eye regarding some of her classmates and a TV screen.

chapter 3 | 5.7k | ao3

She doesn't know if she's envious or glad for them.

Maybe she's envious because her teammates weren't given the same slack. Not in the slightest. She wonders if Yui's arm was set properly, or if Inuoka's shoulder healed fully. She wonders if any of them can be in the gymnasium without feeling a phantom ache in their joints. Wonders if any of them are better now that he's been shipped off to jail. Wonders if they can still play volleyball and still be able to breathe.

She realizes very quickly there is very little to do in Inaba. Not for the first time and certainly not the last, Shiho longs for Tokyo. She doesn't think a lifetime spent in Tokyo would be enough time to do everything there. The city's always bustling, always changing, always growing-- there's always something new, something to try. Ann was there, too, always bounding by her side, leading her to a new place to go to. Inaba has a river, a shrine, an inn, and a market. There are plenty of mom-and-pop stores, plenty of tiny businesses that take up a sixteenth of a street block. In a week, Shiho has already scoured through nearly all of them. It's probably something her parents overlooked, too. They're restless, itching for more motion and more activity and just more than what this tiny place offers. They're no different from her-- they lived in Tokyo longer than she's been alive, and they've been through the growth of Tokyo. There's no way they don't long for the gray and musty streets over the clear and small roads here at least every now and then. They're making friends with the locals, because that's all there really is to do. They get jobs, her mom at an antique shop, her dad a carpenter. Maybe they're getting used to the rural air, maybe not-- she wonders if they've considered moving back to Tokyo once she's graduated and shipped off to a college, or if they'll come to like this place and live here from now on. They find their own ways to burn the day away. It unluckily lines up with the time Shiho has school, and they're home whenever she gets to the house. In the late afternoon, their house is quiet even though there are people in it. She wonders what her parents think when she gets home later and later, purposely avoiding being in a house where guilty gazes weigh down on her shoulders, the tension in the air that makes her suffocate. With little to do in Inaba, she very quickly runs out of things to keep her occupied while she prolongs the time she gets home. There's only so much a friendless, penniless teenager could do. Maybe she could get a job to get money and to take up time, or maybe even join a club at school, but then it'll tie her down to this place. Frequently, she wishes Ann was here. She'd be able to make the best of this place. Even with the cheerful chatter and encouraging words from the near-constant buzzing of her phone, it will never match up to being actually with her. She's a little envious of Ryuji and Akira, who get to see her daily. She's glad they're friends. More often than not, she ends up hanging around the school grounds. She's already gone through the town, but she doesn't have money of her own, and she doesn't want to deal with the off-chance she'll come across her parents in public. It's past the end of the day, and the other students head off to club activities or to head home. Usually she's left in peace. She finds some place to burn time in-- usually its the library (she finally found it-- it was on the second floor this whole time, she just passed it by mistake), where few students linger in after hours and even fewer try to speak to her. Other students still keep trying to talk to her, and she knows she should try to act like a normal person and respond properly, but her tongue feels like gauze when she opens it and her stomach sinks because she can't even act like she wants to be here. The library gives her the solitude she needs from the other students, but it's also too quiet, too soundless, too similar to the home she's avoiding, and it closes a couple hours earlier than the school does. So then she wanders around until she knows its safe to enter town without seeing her parents, or until school closes. Around this time, very little students are around, the only ones being in clubs or practice for sports. She can wander without interruption until her legs begin to ache, the pain beneath her kneecaps too strong, and usually ends up sitting on a bench until they decide to work like how she wants them to. She wears the knee brace. It makes no damn difference whether or not she wears it-- the weather and the hills are a killer combo. She only wears it because her parent asked it of her. She'd rather go without it, even though she knows she wouldn't be able to move as much as she is, because her classmates will peer at it and she can see the questions on the tips of their tongues. She rubs her knee absently. The sky's clear for the most part, spotted with occasional clouds. The bench she ended up on has a clear view of the practice building and the lot in front of it, one that the Soccer team is using for a practice game. Some seem dearly invested in their little game, some don't. Something settles heavy in her gut. It's something like dread, an itch-- it's not a good feeling, and she shifts restlessly to quell it. They're... They're not trying. Won't their coach be angry that they're not trying--? She looks around, but there's no coach scrutinizing the players. No coach barking out orders that are do or die. They're allowed to slack. A breath leaves her in a rush, one she didn't realize she was holding. She doesn't know if she's envious or glad for them. Maybe she's envious because her teammates weren't given the same slack. Not in the slightest. She wonders if Yui's arm was set properly, or if Inuoka's shoulder healed fully. She wonders if any of them can be in the gymnasium without feeling a phantom ache in their joints. Wonders if any of them are better now that he's been shipped off to jail. Wonders if they can still play volleyball and still be able to breathe. But maybe she's glad-- they don't have to experience what Shujin volleyball players went through. She's glad some of them look like they're enjoying what they're doing. There's claps on the backs, encouraging shouts, beaming grins. She wishes those were a part of the volleyball practices she was in, but finds that she's glad someone else can enjoy themselves. — Ann [7:43 P.M.] u remember that time u said my art was shit Shiho [7:43 P.M.] you never let me forget Ann [7:43 P.M.] :/ ANYWAYS i think ive gotten better being around yusuke has like,, helped me realize im better than u say Shiho [7:44 P.M.] we were seven of course you were awful Ann [7:44 P.M.] STILL!! Shiho finds herself rolling her eyes. Yusuke was a recent addition to Ann's mismatched group of friends-- an eccentric artist who goes to Kousei rather than Shujin. It's a wonder how they met, more-less even meet up outside of school. She's glad there's another to the list of Ann's friends-- even if it was a bit rocky in the start, if what Ann's told her is true. The neighborhood is quiet for the most part. Well. It's always quiet, really. But it's particularly silent today-- absently, she realizes that she's coming home later than she usually would. The daylight's already waning, and people have already retreated home for dinner. She wonders if she's missed dinner herself. Her parents haven't said much about how late she's been getting home. She doesn't know if they think she's in a club or something, or if they know she's just loitering instead of coming home. They don't say much to her these days. She's not sure if they've finally gave up on idle awkward conversations or not. Shiho [7:44 P.M.] is his overflowing creativity influencing you?? Ann [7:44 P.M.] hopefully maybe ill send u a nice ole portrait, yeah? Shiho [7:45 P.M.] it better be done in glitter pens or I dont want it!! The house isn't quiet when she steps in. The TV is on for once, after a week of frustrating difficulty with hooking it up properly. There's the sound of dishes moving in the kitchen, clinking of porcelain on the counters, and ah. She hasn't missed dinner. "Is that you, Shiho?" her mom calls out. She peering down the hall and directly spots her, standing in the foyer uncertainly. "Welcome back. We're having japchae." "Ah. Alright," Shiho says absently. Japchae's a sit down meal in this household. She can't escape to her room with a bowl of it-- she'll be stuck at the table. She feels guilty with the way her shoulders tense and her legs don't move, because family dinner shouldn't stress her out this much. You're worrying over nothing, she thinks forcefully, and quietly takes off her shoes and sets down her bag. Both of her parents are in the kitchen, her dad working on the setting the table, her mom with the japchae. They're seemingly content, weaving around each other and keeping pace in a conversation. They like this kitchen much more than their old one-- much more space, apparently, and the countertops are a lot prettier than the dull tan of the old apartment. She feels out of place, standing there, so she takes a seat even though she's antsy. In no time, everything is set out on the table. Her parents sit across from each other, and she's stuck in the middle of them. The TV's volume has been lowered at some point, to a level that it's just a background noise that keeps the house from being overwhelmed by silence. It's quiet at the table, though the dishes move and clink, and brief words of 'can you pass me the plate' and 'do you want seconds,' its quiet. There's no continuation of the conversation they were having in the kitchen earlier, even though it seemed like it could span on longer from what she could hear of it. Shiho's skin prickles at the silence, cause it's not exactly tense-- it's more calculating, more waiting for the proper time to speak and not seem off about it. She wishes that eating her food quick wouldn't be seen as rude, or as a way to escape. "So, how's school been, kiddo?" Her dad starts, breaking the ice. He actually makes eye contact with her. He doesn't glance away, avert his eyes-- it throws her off. There's very little guilt in his eyes, the kind that she's seen so much of in the past month. She can't tell if this conversation is genuine, or if he feels bad for not talking to her as much as a parent should. Shiho feels her phone buzz in her pocket. It's probably Ann. She breathes in. "Like... Like how school normally is, I guess. Not interesting?" Her mom blinks at her. "So you haven't had any problems catching up?" Two months. She missed two months of school. (Her life, too). It's two months of stuff for all of her classes-- and the curriculum is different here. It would be basically starting from scratch. She struggled, and is still struggling-- it takes a lot to cram so much stuff missed into the time she has, and on top of that, learn what's being taught at the moment. She hasn't told them she's basically given up on catching up. "Not really," she smiles something sheepish, something not really a smile. It'll work out most likely. She'll just have to cram more for the exams. "Just a little splotchy, I guess. There's a few things here that they learned that they didn't teach at Shujin." "Ah. Have you asked for help from classmates or teachers?" Her mom questions. She's paused from eating. Not a good sign. She wants to have a conversation, now that she's got Shiho trapped under obligation for family dinners. She debates lying. She's kept away from talking with anyone at school. It doesn't feel right to-- she doesn't exactly want to see their faces shift ever so slightly when she asks, coming something closer to pity towards her. She doesn't want to start, because then they'll come across the face that she doesn't know all that much anymore, and they'll ask why, and she cannot. Cannot. Let any of these students know of why she left Shujin. But her parents know she's been getting back late. They might want her to come home earlier to study more if she says she's avoided getting help. "Sometimes," she settles with. It's an answer that'll keep them from pushing. The atmosphere shifts. She doesn't know if its for better or for worse, or if her parents are coming onto something. The dining table feels more like an interrogation table, and she just wishes that it wasn't rude to get up, clean her dishes, and flee. "Have you joined any clubs, yet? Maybe considered any?" her dad prompts, because her mom is gnashing her teeth quietly, maybe trying to see if there was any underlying context or hints in her single word response. They know she can't play sports anymore. They know. It's a blaring reminder on the forefront of their mind, every breathing second they look at her, because they see the old bruises and bandages and the leg brace when they didn't see before. They also know she can't paint, she can't sing, she can't act, she can't play an instrument, she can't do much of anything except volleyball and that had been torn from her hands. "Um, no, not... not really," Shiho trails. She sees the question between the lines in bold text. Why are you coming home so late. They know she doesn't have anything to do. She doesn't have Ann here. There's nothing in town to do. She's not in a club, she doesn't have a job. They probably have the sneaking suspicion she doesn't have friends, either. She doesn't know if they're blaming themselves for that. Her phone buzzes again, quietly, like a reassurance. She tries to harbor the confidence Ann has for her. "I've. I've been helping around the school n stuff." Her mouth tastes like ash. She hasn't. She hasn't given Yasogami more thought that it deserves. "Kinda... y'know, helping organize the library." If you stretch it till its paper thin, you could possibly call it a truth. Occasionally she'll pick up an left behind book and put it back where it belongs. She really only sits and burns time in the library rather than voluntarily go out and help around. But its so far from what she's saying, and her knuckles creak on the edge of her seat. "Ah, so a library helper!" Her mom latches onto this, eyes twinkling. Shiho smiles sheepishly. "Sure. Yeah. Somewhat." All she can taste is ash, and she tries to eat some more, but it tastes like nothing. It's good to lie sometimes, right? Some lies are good. White lies. Her parents have been so cautious around her-- she doesn't think she can handle them if she was truthful. She doesn't think she can handle their gentle words, their encouragements, their earnest pleas of please try because she can't help simmering on the idea that they're only trying so hard to make up for when they overlooked bruises that couldn't have come from just volleyball practice. To make up for not realizing that one morning she planned on not returning home that day. The rest of dinner fades into the back of her mind. Her dad starts talking about his old job as a librarian years ago, and her mom bounces back with stories of her own. She eats absently, her arms and legs and body so heavy with the brush of guilt. After washing the dishes, she leaves politely, having dipped out of the conversation a while ago. Her legs ache when she goes to her room and flops onto her bed. For a moment, she just lies there, letting her nerves settle into something manageable. She mourns for the time she could eat peacefully with her parents. She pulls her phone out absently. The case is peeling. She might need a new one soon. Ann [7:45 P.M.] as if i would draw with anything else that's not glitter u insult me jfjlsdfj just got takoyaki its crazy good ill drag u here to get some its?? not greasy enough to kill my appetite for once !! Shiho [8:01 P.M.] sorry had to eat damn who convinced you to eat takoyaki usually you'd look at me like i was asking ya to die if i suggested it :// Ann [8:01 P.M.] yusuke wanted to try some dude only eats cup noodles, can u believe it!! i feel like... completely obligated to expand his horizons Shiho [8:02 P.M.] holy shit only cup noodles? how has he not died of sodium?? Ann [8:02 A.M.] art jesus might be lookin down on him well maybe not he aint doing a good job keeping yusuke from spending all his goddam money on art. supplies thats the only reason he really eats cup noodles he broke i might have to teach him the ways of budgeting Shiho [8:02 P.M.] ah yes you takamaki ann the one who most definitely does not spend all of her allowance on clothes the day she gets it Ann [8:02 P.M.] why cant u let me dream — Maybe the best part about being quiet and fading into the background is that she learns a lot about the people around her. She knows her seat mate plays clarinet and really sucks at science, the boy in the front row two from the window works with his parents at an old liquor store and may or may not have brought some to school, the buzzcut boy who comes in during lunch to eat with the boy directly in front of her is crushing hard on a third year and plans on asking her out, and the girl with the red cardigan in the middle row is the daughter of Amagi Inn and was missing for a week just last month. She seems fine and dandy for having been missing. Shiho doesn't know if she can take it as a sign that Tatsumi Kanji will be found and be okay-- if she's fine, he might be too, right? It doesn't help that in the same line of conversation she's listening in on she learns of two recent murders of a news reporter and a student at Yasogami. With the way people of Inaba are so gossip-y, she's kinda surprised and alarmed she didn't hear about this from day one. She only learned of Tatsumi from a policeman-- would she have never heard of him if it weren't for that encounter? And-- the policeman didn't say anything about the murders. She personally thinks that would be the number one thing to tell people, especially those who just moved there, that yes, there was most definitely someone going around Inaba killing and kidnapping people. Two murders and two missing cases. Nothing happens here-- shouldn't that be the talk of the town or something? Maybe everyone was so used to each other that they just couldn't believe that someone decided to turn a new leaf and go nuts, or they're all just very good at acting like there was nothing disrupting their quiet routine of the countryside. Shiho wonders if her parents are even vaguely aware of this. They-- they have to be, right? They talk with the townsfolk much more than she does. It could be that the reason Shiho didn't know was because she just doesn't talk to people. But-- they still let her roam free after school (though she isn't doing what they think she's doing). Her dad had been so tense after the encounter with the police officer, too-- the prospect of kidnapping and missing high school kids is one hell of a detour from the fresh new start they thought Inaba could provide. Surely that would have made them more worried--? And, now that she thinks of it; she doesn't know how much it affects Inaba overall. She doesn't know how many students go straight home after school, or how many families are on edge. She doesn't know if relationships are more tense, because the killer and kidnapper is somewhere, but who? She feels like a creep for glancing over to the girl with the red cardigan, but what the hell. She laughs with her group of friends, eyes crinkled and nose scrunched until her laugh becomes closer to an ugly laugh. Would she have seen whoever it was? She-- she had to, right? Shiho adverts her eyes. This town is weird, is what she settles on. "Ah-- Suzui-san?" Startled, she looks up. It's her seat mate's friend. She has long hair and teardrop-shaped eyes, and distantly reminds Shiho of a classmate from Shujin. It's enough to make her long for that goddamn school, with its stupid cursed hallways, cursed classrooms. "Yes?" Shiho says belatedly, realizing a moment late that she's meant to respond. The girl doesn't seem to mind, though-- she smiles politely, and Shiho tries to not feel silly. "Have you joined any clubs, yet?" she asks airly. Shiho pauses and wonders why is this the question of the week. She misreads Shiho's brief silence as something else, and adds on quickly, "I, uh, I've got the responsibility of recruiting for the girl's soccer team, and if you're interested..." Ah. Shiho smiles, even though she becomes conscious of the thudding ache in her legs. She's touched, honestly, even though it's a thing she can never partake in, because the other still asked and that's really really nice of her. She wanted to try playing soccer, once. "Ah, um. I'm sorry," she starts, and the other deflates slightly. "I-- I would, honestly, but the weather around here's been making my legs act up. I don't think I'd be able to play reliably..." The other girl smiles sheepishly and grows flustered. Her seat mate blinks in surprise, having listened in but not disruptively. "No, I totally understand! Leg injuries are awful-- sorry, I didn't realize..." she rubs the back of her neck. Shiho waves away the apology, "It's no problem, I, I don't exactly wear my knee brace as much as I should." The doctors told her to keep from doing too much physical activity, as it always had the chance of old wounds becoming agitated and unbearable. The hills around here were enough of a hike to strain the idea of physical activity. "Woah, what did you even do?" her seat mate asks, too blunt and a little too loudly. It brings the attention of some students, who look over curiously to what she's asking. She glances down openly towards Shiho's knee, the one with the brace fit snuggly over it. Her friend swipes at her arm, chastising her, saying its rude. Shiho's shoulders pull in at all the attention. She shrugs. "Bad fall." — It definitely says something when one of the biggest things in Inaba is the department store. Especially one that has possibly the most grating jingles around. She doesn't know where to start. Clutched in her hand is a grocery list from her mom, who had smiled sheepishly and handed it to her a handful of minutes after she got home. Junes was only a long walk away, it's not like she could refuse. It wasn't a long list, but this place is fairly huge-- she hopes she doesn't spend more than an hour here. She must've come in at some kind of rush hour-- there's enough people in here that she occasionally has to wedge by a couple people standing and chatting in the middle of the isle, which really sucks because sometimes they're standing in front of the things she needs and she does not have the guts to tell someone to take their conversation elsewhere because they're standing in front of the stupid chives. Tthe further into the store she gets, the less people she sees. Then again, she feels like she's getting more and more lost-- this place is impossibly big. Its so dim and spacious and the music is so distant if she didn't know any better she'd think she was in a twilight zone of some sort. Must be the lighting or something. Maybe the music? Or maybe the way that every isle looks basically the same? It definitely competes with the 777s she used to visit in the middle of the night. Now those were definitely liminal spaces. Even though 777s were gross and small and usually understocked, it was probably the place Shiho went to the most besides home and school. It had the food her parents sent her out to get last minute, and it was the place where the slushie machines were. Although she swore up and down that she was on a terrible strict diet, Ann always wanted to get some kind of slushie at the 777 if they weren't around the crepe shop in Shibuya. The cashier recognized them, even told them what flavors were out when they came in. They weren't even that good-- they just happen to be cheap and sweet, and that's all it really takes to be a godsend at one in the morning. Wasn't there some sort of food court near the entrance of this place? Maybe they have a slushie machine? Hopefully they're not too uppity about the machine so she could make unfathomable combos of flavors that should not be mixed. Even if those slushies make her teeth ache from artificial flavoring and gross amounts of sugar, she's craving one now that she's thinking about it. Shiho sighs, grabbing a small bag of rice and absently checking her phone. It was quiet, the screen devoid of messages from either Ann or her parents. Her parents' silence she could understand-- they preferred to call. But Ann? Ann's been crazy busy recently-- modeling gigs usually don't take all that long, do they? Shiho wonders, looking up in thought. She once wanted to tag along and watch what its like, but Ann had been so adamant on her not going because her coworker was a bitch or something along that line. Maybe some days the shoots are longer...? And it crosses her. I wonder if they have any magazines with her in it around here! She thinks, smiling at the idea of it. There's probably magazine stands near the check out, or somewhere else in this store. She just needs to get two more things and then she can go--! There is a child down the isle, looking up longingly towards some pudding cups that are most definitely out of her reach. Shiho stops. And she looks. Looks for a while. What the hell. This kid cannot be older than six, and she is standing alone in a department store. Alone. Sure, the store's full of cameras and people to witness, but isn't it dangerous to leave a kid unattended? Maybe she's lost? No-- she looks surefooted, somehow, for a six year old. Maybe her parent stepped into another isle, accidentally leaving her to linger in front of the pudding...? She is giving the pudding the look of a life time-- there is so much longing in her eyes. How in the hell can there be so much want in a kid's eyes? The only way she would be able to reach the pudding is by climbing the shelves, and she looks too nervous to try, but Shiho knows the kid seriously considered doing it at some point. Shiho shuffles her feet. She's got to do something about this kid being alone, right? It's the proper thing to do, isn't it? It wouldn't sit right in her stomach if she left the kid to her own devices if she actually was lost or left behind. Ah-- but what if she freaks out? Shiho doesn't think she looks scary, but children are unpredictable and being approached by anyone when scared is a catalyst to a meltdown. Then again, this kid doesn't look scared or lost. So, maybe... "Um," she finds herself starting, a bit weak. The girl didn't hear her. "Uh. Do you need any help?" Large brown eyes turn to her. The little girl has pigtails and possibly one of the most mixed emotion looks she's ever seen. It's caught somewhere between distraught and sorrowful, and it's probably because she's maybe two feet too short from being able to reach those pudding cups. She looks back towards the top shelves slowly. "Um. If it wouldn't be much trouble..." she says, voice quiet and high and looks away shyly. She looks really put out from her inability to reach up that high. In three long strides, Shiho stands next to the little girl and reaches up, shifting the basket in her arms so it doesn't knock into the kid's head. "These?" she asks, hand hovering just in front of the special, limited edition chocolate swirl pudding. The girl nods a yes, and Shiho hands it to her. She holds it like its made of pure gold, and it's really cute to see how enamored she is with it. "Hey, um," Shiho starts, pulling the girl's attention from the pack. It's some kind of social obligation to help lonely kids in stores, right? No one really had a protocol to follow when doing it, and she doesn't want to scare the kid off. "Are you alone?" Shiho asks, trying not to feel awkward under the curious look of this kid. She winces, because that sounded really weird, much weirder than she thought it would be. The little girl, surprisingly, frowns, like she's not sure of the answer. "No. Yes. Kinda? Big Bro said I could get some pudding if I wanted to. He's at the check out right now." "He let you come all the way here by yourself?" She isn't sure what kind of brother this dude is, but honestly? Would it kill him to come with his younger sister to get some pudding? It couldn't be that much of a pain to do. The girl looks to the pudding pack in her hands sheepishly. "I said I could. The lines were long at check out and I didn't want to lose our spot so I said I could find it..." What the hell are kids. What the hell is this kid in particular, for she's being crazy grown-up for her mere age of possibly-six. Shiho looks to the basket she's carrying. She still hasn't gotten panko or oats, but she can put that aside for another day. She kinda wants to just help this kid now. "Um. I was just about to go to check out. Do you want me to walk with you back to find your brother?" she asks lightly, hopefully not being creepy. Thankfully, a small, shy smile comes onto the girl's face, and she nods. The girl looks around absently as they go through the isles, eyes lingering on brightly-packaged items. She clutches the pudding like a life-line, though sometimes she looks like she wants to grab something else but quickly retains herself. Shiho is quite honestly charmed by how bright-eyed she is. "Is that your favorite flavor of pudding?" Shiho asks in lieu of conversation, though they shouldn't be far from the check-out. The girl blinks and looks down accordingly to the packaging. She looks at it with an intensity to it, as if she's thinking deeply about the question. "I dunno! I haven't tried that many, but I do like this one." She looks up with blinking doe eyes. "What's your favorite, miss?" They walk out of the isles, and ah, good, there's the check-out. Thank god she remembered the way to the check-out. The girl wasn't wrong-- the lines are pretty lengthy. She wouldn't want to give up a spot in the queues either. "I think I like the caramel chocolate ones," Shiho says absently, peering towards the lines, trying to see anyone who may be this kid's 'Big Bro.' The little girl seems to be doing the same, bowing over and swiveling her head around, and then perks up. "I see him!" she nearly squeals, and hurries down towards the line. Shiho follows at a much slower pace though she probably doesn't need to, but she just wants to make sure the girl's alright. She watches as her brown pigtails bounce as she turns into a register lane, watches as a bright smile grows on her face. The girl stops in front of someone, who had just started putting the things in their basket onto the conveyer belt. Shiho looks up, and-- Small world, huh, she thinks, but then feels dumb because it's a small town and of course she's going to see her classmates outside of class at some point. It's the silver-haired boy, the one that sits in the middle of the classroom. He's friends with the red-cardigan girl, and the two brunettes who stood up for Kanji Tatsumi the first day she was at Yasogami. She doesn't know anything about him. The girl beams up to him, and he smiles something soft back to her. Taking the pudding pack with deft fingers and placing it on the conveyer belt, he nods and listens to the girl chattering to him. After a moment, the girl spins around, easily spying Shiho as if purposely looking for her, and waves. Shiho waves back and then gives a thumbs up, which seems to make the little girl more excited. She looks up from the girl and makes eye contact with her classmate. He blinks-- either in surprise, or maybe she's just trying to read too deeply into things that don't mean anything. He bows his head towards her, perhaps in thanks, and then turns back to the register. Shiho bows back even though he's not looking at her, feels stupid, and since she's already here, steps into the queue.

#persona 5 #p5 #persona 4 #p4 #persona #shiho suzui #seta souji #yu narukami #ann takamaki #just realized italics don't transfer well :(

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latetaektalk · 3 years

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hey, we do have similar music tastes! I LOVE frank ocean, his cover of moon river is on repeat on my playlist.. those vocals ✨

I’m trying to get more into kpop, I do like twice - alcohol free is so fun hehe 🍹

I’m also listening to kiss me more, I found it from tiktok lol. I’m slowly listening through doja cat’s new album, she is super talented! and I love sza, her album was one of my most listened to when it came out!

I’ll check out your list, I love finding new bops! I love blue world by mac miller, but I’ll check out once a day!!

hope you have a lovely day. 🦋.

hi bub!! hope you had a nice relaxing sunday!! and yes oh my god frank ocean owns my heart!! my sister introduced me to his music during lockdown and ive been just crying nonstop,, his moon river cover freaking wrecks me :(( i love it so so much!! almost more than the original 💕

im glad youre enjoying alocohol free by twice !! i think that song is so fun and nice,, i like how its just a chill summer song instead of overly hyped! if you need any other song recommendations, hit me up!!

kiss me more has been on repeat for a month now here,, i simply cant get enough of it ✨ its just such a good and addicting song !! i know its also a bit overplayed but just like with drivers license i feel like i could never get tired of it lmao and ohh that amazing to hear!! i havent had time to listen to doja's new album, so now im very excited !! sza has been on my list of artist i wanna get into forever now, so hopefully ill get around to it soon!! i have a couple of her songs saved, but i havent actually listen to ctrl

and ahh, i hope you like my songs lol and yes please check out once a day!! its so good ✨ i also recommend my favourite part and come back to earth by him!! i feel like youd like it 💘

thank you, i did!! please have a nice week 🦋 anon!!!

#sending you lots of love!!#🦋 anon #linh.anon #linh.ask

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winterbaby89 · 7 years

Text

As Destiny Has Its Eyes On You Chapter 8/?

All the thanks to @artistic-writer for making this lovely pic.

Summary:

Princess Emma Swan of Misthaven has been prophesied as the Savior since before her birth. Now with the help of a Lieutenant from her past she is going to take her destiny into her own hands, to defeat the Evil Queen.

A/N:

This story is inspired by ’Destiny has its eyes on you’ by the lovely @seriouslyhooked (EmilyBea on FF). With the overwhelming support and love from EmilyBea and @ilovemesomekillianjones (who has graciously agreed to be my beta on this entire project, she can also be found on: AO3, and FF), I am presenting this to the public.

This story is rated ‘M’. I hope you enjoy, and if you haven’t read the works from these lovely ladies, I highly recommend you do so. Chapters 1-4 are based on chapters 1&2 of ‘Destiny Has Its Eyes on You’

AO3 FF.net Prologue/Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Chapter 8

About a week after the attack Emma is lounging on one of the barrels near the helm.

“Killian?”

“Yes my love?”

“What is the date?”

“What?”

“What’s the date? I know it’s November, but I’m not sure the day.”

“I do believe it’s the thirteenth, why?”

Emma’s eyes widen, without a word she gets up and heads to the stairs leading to their cabin.

“Emma, is everything okay?” When she continues below deck without answering, Killian has Smee take over and follows her to their quarters. Walking into the cabin he sees she’s pacing and chewing on her bottom lip. “Love, is there significance to the thirteenth?”

She startles at his question. “What? No! Why?”

“When I told you the date you got quiet and pale, then proceeded to run to our cabin where you are currently pacing. What’s wrong? You know you can talk to me.”

“It’s not the thirteenth that’s significant, other than being this far. You’re sure it’s the thirteenth, not say the fifth by chance?”

“Yes love, I double checked my chart, why? What is so wrong with it being the thirteenth? What’s so important about the fifth?”

She takes a couple shuddering breaths before sitting down on the bed. “Killian, you love me right? No matter what?”

Now he’s even more concerned for Emma, still not quite grasping what’s going on. He sits next to her, and taking her hands in his, he looks straight into those beautiful, but worried emerald eyes of hers before he speaks. “No matter what, good or bad, always and forever, I love you, Emma. Now what is going on? I’m worried about you.”

“The date of import is the sixth, it’s the day I always start my… you know... my monthly.”

He notices that Emma is blushing furiously as she speaks. Oh! Killian is stunned by this revelation, and Emma continues on before he has a chance to respond.

“Which I’m sure, due to our more enjoyable daily activities, you’ve noticed I haven’t had my monthly since being with you.” She lets that hang in the air between them for just a moment before continuing. “Killian, I think I know what’s wrong with me. The fact that I’m no longer intact makes it possible. It’s a full week after the sixth, I’m still getting sick almost a week after the attack, no one else is sick but me.” She finally looks him in the eye, still holding his hands. “I’m fairly certain…” Emma pauses a moment to gather her courage before finally revealing her life altering realization. “I’m certain I’m with child.” The tears that have been pooling in her eyes spill over, afraid of his reaction, terrified he’s going to push her away, even though rationally she knows he loves her, and would never do that to her. Damn hormones.

“Emma, you’re certain?” She’s too choked up to answer so she just nods. “Don’t cry, my love. I know this wasn’t something we had planned for, or even thought to take steps against for that matter. Nor is it something we had thought to talk about yet, but I think we’ll make damn fine parents.” He smiles brightly before wrapping her in a hug, kissing her senseless. When they break apart for air, he looks her straight in the eye. “Marry me? I’ve wanted you to be mine since the day we met. I would follow you to the end of the world, or time, and I will do everything in my power to make you happy. My life without you was hollow and dark, and now that you’ve come back into my life it feels like I’m seeing the sun for the first time in years. I will love you and our child with every fiber of my being.” He pauses for a moment so he can get down on one knee, then taking her hands in his he asks her again, “So, what do you say love? Will you marry me?”

Emma is stunned into silence, this is not the reaction she was expecting from him, though she really should have. When she notices the tips of his ears are pink from embarrassment and his smile starts to fade, she’s able to find her voice again. Emma gets down on her knees with Killian, and gathers him up in the strongest hug she can muster. “I would love to be your wife, Killian! I’ve dreamt of it for years, but the crew thinks we’re already married.”

“We can do a small ceremony for now, just you and me, under the stars, and do a larger, grander affair later if you want one. Maybe with your family there…” Killian helps Emma stand back up while they’re still entangled in their embrace, and he perches them back on the edge of their bed.

Her smile falters a little at the thought of her family, but she responds nonetheless, “That sounds perfect. When?”

“Tonight, if you’re feeling well enough for it.”

“Tonight then.”

With a quick kiss he gets up and walks over to his hidden floor safe, opening it up, he pulls out the simple jewelry box he keeps in there. He is looking for something that he has held on to, hoping for just such an occasion. His mother’s ring. It’s a beautiful silver band woven to resemble interlocked vines with a gorgeous two carat stone the same shade of blue as his eyes, the eyes his mother passed on to him and Liam. Sitting next to his mother’s ring is Liam’s ring, the last piece he has of his brother. He has never been able to bring himself to wear it, now it seems meant for this moment. It’s a large silver ring with a rather large emerald set flush in the band, the stone matching Emma’s eyes perfectly. How fitting. The stone in my ring will remind me of Emma’s eyes every time I look at it, and the stone in Emma’s will remind her of my eyes. … Hopefully. Killian takes out the two rings, then places the jewelry box back in the safe and closes it back up before walking over to Emma, who’s still sitting on the bed.

“So what do you think my love? Will they work?” He hands her the two rings to look at.

“They’re perfect. I can tell they’re well loved, who did they belong to?”

“Yours was my mother’s ring, passed to Liam when she died, then to me when he died. Mine… used to be Liam’s, I got it when he died.”

“Oh Killian, I’m sorry. If it’s too painful you don’t have to wear it.”

“I actually think he would like me wearing it like this, I know he would approve. He always liked you.”

“So, we’re really going to do this?”

“Only if you want to Emma, I’ve said before, I want you to be happy, and I will do anything in my power to ensure it. Do not mistake my words though, it would make me the happiest man alive to call myself your husband, and you my wife. But I’ve no wish to hurt you, or sully your reputation-”

Emma quickly cuts him off. “NO! I do want this; I think I always have. Granted this isn’t how I imagined it coming about, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you, or the fact that I want to be your wife. I want to be able to claim you as mine, and mine alone, as much as I am already yours and only ever was yours.”

◊◊◊

Much Later That Night

Killian and Smee are the only people on deck, having dismissed the night crew from their watch a few hours early, which Smee will finish for them after the ceremony is completed. Smee is to act as their witness and officiant even though technically the Captain is the one with the power to perform marriages. Killian’s nerves and excitement are rearing their head in the form of him pacing.

“Sir if I may. If you keep pacing you’re liable to walk through the deck.” Killian just gives him an unamused look. “I must admit sir, I never thought this day would come. I am glad though. She makes you happy. We are all happy for you, both of you.”

“Thank you Mr. Smee. All it took was finding the right woman, and she is the right woman. There is no one her equal, she exceeds every standard. She is the standard. Now we just have to hope the in-laws take the news well. But you and the crew should not expect any change in your Captain, just because I have found my Emma again.”

“Never sir, we would never try to take advantage like that.”

“I know you wouldn’t Smee, but Murdoch and Walsh definitely did…”

“Have you decided what to do about them yet?”

“I… no punishment I come up with feels like it fits their crime.”

“I’m sure you will come up with something sir, and they will be more than deserving of it. Is the Princess feeling better after that traumatic situation?”

“She seems to have put it past her completely.”

“I am very glad to hear it, sir.”

◊◊◊

Emma is putting on one of the two dresses she thought to bring, it’s her first time wearing a dress since her birthday. She’s thankful she thought to grab this dress and bring it with her, it’s perfect for tonight, she thinks. It’s a beautiful silvery grey, silk off-the-shoulder dress, form fitting, hugging her curves in all the right places, hinting at just the right amount of cleavage, while still being comfortable. Killian won’t know what hit him. Emma smiles thinking about Killian, and what tonight means for both of them. The three of us, she thinks happily. Wondering how long it will be before she starts showing, she rests both hands on her still flat belly, and takes a deep breath, “Well, I guess it’s time.”

She smiles as she exits the cabin to head for the stairs and her future. Both men turn hearing her approach, they’re stunned when they catch sight of her as she ascends the stairs up onto the deck. Killian strides over to escort her across the last expanse behind the helm where they’ll become husband and wife.

“You look radiant my love.”

Emma blushes as Killian presses a gentle kiss to her palm. “Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself.”

“Captain. Princess. Shall we?”

Killian quickly looks at Emma before answering. “Yes Mr. Smee, please.”

Smee just nods his head, beaming at his Captain and his beloved. “We are here on this beautiful, starry, early morning, aboard this magnificent ship to join these two souls as husband and wife, until the end of time. Captain, you may proceed with your declarations.”

“Emma, my love my words are failing me now that we are finally here. Darling, I’m beyond grateful. I’m honored that you love me and have chosen that from this day forward we will walk through life as partners. As husband and wife. I promise to do everything in my power to make sure you know that you are loved and cherished. I will move heaven above and earth below to ensure that you are happy and never want for anything. I love you. And from this day forward know that I am yours body, heart, and soul.” Once he finishes speaking he reaches up with his thumb to brush away the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Smee clears his throat, sounding a little choked up with emotion. “Beautiful, Captain… now Princess, if you will.”

“Killian. My Killian, you were my first love, my only love, my true love. You had my heart from the moment we met, never once did I lose hope we would make it here. No one ever realized I was a girl who just wanted to be loved for being me, not for being the princess, but you did. I will never know how you saw the girl behind the princess, but you did, and I am grateful. Now that I have you back, I can’t imagine a life without you in it, and I’m glad that now I won’t ever have to. I love you. I will do my best to make you happy and ensure you feel my love, from this day forward I am yours body, heart, and soul.”

“Very touching, milady… now the rings. Captain, repeat after me please. With this ring, I, Killian Jones, pledge myself to you, body and soul, from now until the end of time.”

As he slides his mother’s ring on Emma’s finger Killian repeats the sacred words. “With this ring, I, Killian Jones, pledge myself to you, body and soul, from now until the end of time.”

“Princess, please repeat after me. With this ring, I, Emma Swan, pledge myself to you, body and soul, from now until the end of time.”

She slides Liam’s ring onto Killian’s finger, trying not to cry. “With this ring, I, Emma Swan, pledge myself to you, body and soul, from now until the end of time.”

“With the exchange of rings and declarations of love, with the power provided to me by the Captain, I pronounce you husband and wife. Congratulations, Captain and Mistress Jones. You may kiss your bride, sir.”

Emma gives a watery chuckle as Killian sweeps her off her feet into an earth-shattering kiss filled with every ounce of their love. After a few moments Killian reluctantly breaks the kiss with his wife. Emma’s my wife, Gods above I love this woman, Killian thinks in awed disbelief.

“Thank you Mr. Smee, I think we shall retire for the morning. Be sure to get some rest when the morning watch comes to relieve you. Are we still on schedule to make Oldstown tomorrow afternoon?”

“It was entirely my pleasure, I am truly happy for the both of you. And, yes Captain, we are still on schedule. Should I expect to be in charge of the ship up until we dock, sir?”

“You know Smee, I would say that is a very good idea. But if there is something that needs my attention, know that you can come get me.”

“I will, sir. Again, many congratulations Captain, Mistress Jones. Enjoy your day and a half until we make port.”

“Thank you Mr. Smee, the Captain and I both appreciate your help in taking this special step that we’ve both been waiting for. And I appreciate everything you do for the ship, the crew, and my husband. I hope you have a pleasant rest of the morning.” She walks up hugging him, surprising him, before returning to Killian’s side.

“Good day Mr. Smee.”

“Good day Captain. Mistress.”

“Shall we? Mistress Jones.”

Emma’s heart stutters with happiness. Mistress Jones… we’re married. Finally, he is mine as much as I am his. And to think a month ago I was worried he wouldn’t remember me.

“We shall, Captain Jones.”

Gods above how did I get so lucky? Is this another dream? I will never take Emma’s love for granted… she and our children will never doubt my devotion.

Arriving at the doors to the Captain’s cabin, Killian lifts Emma to carry her across the threshold of their cabin, kissing her thoroughly in the process.

“Killian, you don’t have to carry me, I’m not far enough along that I can’t walk.”

“Love, it is tradition that the husband carry his wife across the threshold of their marriage suite. You don’t want to invite bad luck now do you?”

She playfully swats him in the chest, shaking her head. “No. I guess we wouldn’t want that. Now are you ever going to put me down?”

“Never, love. Never. Now that I have you, I never intend to let you go. And as soon as we get to Oldstown we will seek out the doctor to make sure you are okay.” She starts to interrupt him, but he just raises a hand to stop her, allowing her legs to settle on the floor while keeping his other arm wrapped around her back. “No. You will not fight me on this love, we will have you looked at by the doctor to make sure there are no surprises. After we leave Oldstown it’s still another week, good wind and weather permitting, before we make it to Arendelle. I will not take any chances with your health and life, nor the health and life of our child.” His tone brooks no arguments.

“Killian. Even though we are now married, and even with me being in my condition, neither one negates the fact that I still have to face the Evil Queen.”

“That may be Emma, but we will not take any unnecessary chances and risk you or the baby. I will not try to keep you from your destiny of taking on the Evil Queen, but we will do this the smart way, which does not include charging off half-cocked.”

“Aye-Aye, Captain,” she says. Emma knows he is just concerned for her, but if he insists on orders then she will answer accordingly.

“Now, now, darling, I am not trying to upset you, nor do I wish to control you. Perhaps I need to work on the words I choose?”

“Perhaps,” is her only reply.

“When we arrive in Oldstown I would like to seek out the doctor so he can make sure you and the baby are well. We still have a ways to go before Arendelle, and I think it is better to have you both checked now. Would you agree?”

“That’s better, pirate.” She smiles at him to let him know she does appreciate the sentiment.

“Aye, I thought so,” he replies cheekily, “now let’s get you off to bed, it has been far too long since I have ravished you.” A shiver of anticipation runs up her spine at his words. “I like the dress darling, it’s very becoming on you.”

“I thought you might like it.”

“I think I might like it better on the floor.”

Killian made good on his promise of ravishing her, well past dawn, and every moment they weren’t sleeping until Oldstown came into sight.

◊◊◊

A/N : If anyone is curious, Oldstown is the Southernmost town within the borders of Arendelle. Also, fun fact, I've had this chapter written and queued up since February, and I think the similarities between mine and the shows proposal is adorably funny.

All the thanks to @hollyethecurious for making this lovely aesthetic/collage.

Chapter Nine

Tagging some lovelies to enjoy: @ilovemesomekillianjones, @seriouslyhooked, @jennjenn615, @flslp87, @laschatzi, @ultraluckycatnd, @kmomof4, @xhookswenchx

#cs ff #CS fanfics #lieutenant duckling #captain duckling #cs ff au #As Destiny Has Its Eyes On You #winterbaby89writes #cs smut #Captain Swan #killian jones #emma swan

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mellifxuous · 7 years

Text

I NEVER MADE THAT FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL POST AND HERE IT IS THE END OF THE SECOND WEEK AND I STILL HAVNT DONE IT AND IM IN THE MIDDLE OF WATCHING AVATAR AND YALL THESE VISUAL EFFECTS ARE KILLER BUT ANYWAY IG THIS IS THE END OF MY SECOND WEEK POST. So i decided to stay in act prep bc we’re doin college stuff in second semester and i wanna stay for that stuff bc its gonna be about like scholarships and applications and all tht good stuff and im glad i stayed bc were doin this college and career project and it made me realize that i really wanna be a visual effects artist instead of an animator like i wanted to be since like 7th grade. theyr like basically the same job but visual effects artists get to work w greenscreens and props and go travel and take pics for inspiration and then go animate them later but animators have like a solid desk job and theyre always sitting down and im not into that. And plus if i become a visual effects artist then i get to animate the stuff like transformers and avatar and make pretty backgrounds like lord of the rings and make flyin dragons and be a part of big movies so im here for tht. and the college i chose to research is like an art college in seattle bc they have a study abroad program and i love rain so like seattle is the best place plus my cousins live on an island in washington so theyll be close too and the school is so pretty. also this has nothing to do with it but i saw on like the school statistics that theres a 18% somethin asian population out of the like 3000 kids that go there and idk why but recently ive been liking asians and not even the korean or lightskin asians but like filipinos and tan asians bUT ANYWAY yeah so i’ll probably apply to that college even if i end up not goin there. So dance teams first football game was Thursday and it was rlly fun except the heart attack i was having bc i thot i was gonna be late and i didnt want to be the person that makes the whole team run bc i was the late one but i got there and i wasnt the last person to show up so i was so relieved. OHMYGSIS WHEN WE SWITCHED SIDES FOR HALFTIME I LOOKED UP INTO THE BLEACHERS AND I SEE JUSTIN CALEJA OR HOWEVER U SPELL IT BUT HE WAS THERE AND I SAID WOW. Also somthn really cool was we got at the highschool at like 6 before the sun went down and that highschool didnt have mountains or anythn near it like palo does so the team like watched the sunset together and it was sooo pretty like there was this one huge puffy cloud and it was like purple and orange and yellow and it was like the best thing and everyones legs were hurting bc the game lasted like 3 hours and we had to stand up in our squad lines the whole time n be prepared to dance whenever they made a touchdown or anythin but its okay bc i love the ppl kim put me next to and when we werent dancing and just had to stand there in position we all talked and made jokes and it was such a good time n JENIN WAS TALKING ABOUT THE PLAYERS NUMBERS AND AND SHE STARTS TO RALLY AND GOES “Lets go number 9!!!” AND DEADASS NUMBER 9 WAS ON THE BENCH HE WASNT EVEN PLAYING AND IT WAS SO FUNNY AND EVERYONE WAS DYINGI I HAVNT LAUGHED THAT HARD IN A LONG TIMe. our next game is on wednesday and its at palo this time which means we have to remember 10 dances instead of 5 and i hope i can remember the order they go in bc kim said shes gonna switch ppl out of the front line if they dont know the dances well and i dont wanna be switched out no thanks but its HARD when ur in the front line bc you dont have anyone to look at if u forget the dance but the back line can just watch us dance and then catch on if they forget odjshdhs that just means i needa practice the dances a ton and i dont have tiem for dat😩 thers not much else that went on in the two weeks im tryna think of stuff. Justin stamaria sang to me in korean today and it was just like rlly funny bc he switched seats with the dude who sat next to me so he could charge his laptop and we talked a lot and he has a nice voice but he does weed brownies so no thanks. oh and the new kid charlie from virgina is half japanese i found out but anyway he talked to me in the gym bc he wanted to know if ms jonsey was in the locker room and i said idk i didnt see her but then kim came out and saved the day and i said k bye. hes like cute and tall but we dont have english togethr anymore bc he switched out so like ill prob never talk to him ever again. Ohs key club tho theres so many asians idk why all the asians just decide to join key club but the first meeting was thursday and it was in a portable and there were SO MANY PEOPLE literally people were sitting on the floor and standing up and sharing laps like the portable was so packed i didnt know that many ppl could fit in there. BUT thers a lotta cute dudes so HEYEYEYE. Oh charlies in key club too i forgot u kno mayb i will talk to him agen someday. charlie, Justin stam, and julian lee are the cute ppl that i recognize but thers cute ppl that i dont know and i think key club is gonna be lit this year. Yall my schedule is so packed this year like on tuesdays i got dance practice till 4 and then tevakanui at 7 and some wednesdays i have football games from like 6-10 and then thursday is key club and more football games and fridays and Saturdays are gonna be competitions when comp season comes around and thats not even counting all the volleyball and basketball games were gonna do bc we havnt gotten those schedules yet but on top of that i need to fit in all this crap homework and my dad still wants me to bake 4 batches a week and i need to make time for key club events so i get my 50 service hours and i need to find time to finish my art portfolio so i can send it in on time bc i only have 1 PIECE BUT I NEED 24 AND wHEN WILL I GET TIME TO HANG W FRIENDS OR SIT DOWN AND WATCH A MOVIE OR SMTHN. dang i went from like doing nothing last year to busy busy busy busy busy this year but u know what im gonna do it i gotta take action and get everythin done on time my gpa depends on it im tryna graduate w honors yall dreamworks is waiting for me. ITS LIKE 2:30 Ive been writing this for an hour and its so long but thas fine this is like writing in a journal but typing. anywho i guess ill try to sleep now bc my eyes hurt but i kinda also wanna read and also wanna finish my movie but also needa like text ppl but ill prob do tht tkmorrow bc its so late and theyll be liek wth.

#this is the longest thing ive ever written ever in my existance ever #yall the effects in avatar are so good im surprised it came out 7 YEARS AGO LIKE THESE VISUALS ARE TOP QUALITY IM SO SURPRISED. THIS IS WHAT #I WANT TO DO. I WANNA MAKE WIKRLDS LIKE AVATAR #WVERYTHIN ABT IT IS SO CREATIVE WOW I WISH THAT WAS ME #OKAY IMMA SLEEP NOW #naedas thoughts

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